The Sevan Podcast - Live Call In | Raising Our Social Credit Score

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

*Born Primitive* made _"Taylor vs The World"_ happen, shop today and *use code BPOPEN20* https://bornprimitive.com/ *My Tooth Powder "Matoothian":* https://docspartan.com/products/matoothian-tooth-powder 3 Playing Brothers, Kids Video Programming: https://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/3-playing-brothers/daily-practice ------------------------- *Partners:* https://cahormones.com/ & https://capeptides.com - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://www.vndk8.com/sevan-podcast - OUR SHIRTS https://usekilo.com - OUR WEBSITE PROVIDER ------------------------- ------------------------- *BIRTHFIT PROGRAMS:* Prenatal (20% off with code SEVAN1) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1621968262?attrib=207017-aff-sevan Postpartum (20% off with code SEVAN2) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1586459942?attrib=207017-aff-sevan ------------------------- Taylor Self, owner of Sentinel Training and 2 Time CrossFit Semifinal athlete, takes on the 18th Fittest Man on Earth in 2023, Colten Mertens in CrossFit Open Workout 24.3. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Make your nights unforgettable with American Express. Unmissable show coming up? Good news. We've got access to pre-sale tickets so you don't miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance.

Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. I'm not going to lie, the thought of getting a coupon for a standee chubbs me up a little. Use code odd24. If I were driving by someone on the side of the street and they said, Hey, I'll give you a standee. Like there would be movement in my pants.

Regardless of who it was. I mean, just the offer. That's all. I hate to say it, but. I told the story before. The only, um, the only time anyone's ever honked at me was I was in San Francisco, and it was after a rave, and I was standing out by the park, by Golden Gate Park, by the panhandle.

There's a skinny part of the park that's the panhandle. And I was standing out in front of this house, and these gay guys drove by and honked at me and I waved. So stoked. Yeah. I was so stoked. I was like, wow, someone honked at me. Love being objectified. I just thought it was so cool.

It sucks that people can't enjoy being honked at like you know what i mean like if you see a hot girl walking down the street and you honk at her and she's in like it's like a i guess considered offensive i just it just sucks just i just love um i just loved getting honked at i'm sure i bet you the vast majority of people enjoy getting honked at you know what i mean like a honked at all the time you did serious yeah i would i would always go for runs like up and down my neighborhood and i would just take my shirt off and just start and just be running i used to be fucking shredded just shred city and so you just have like chicks and dudes and all sorts of people did you like it oh i loved it it made me run faster yeah like if you get your pace a little bit yeah yeah i probably tighten my stomach i probably like my stomach muscles yeah run up i start swinging the arms a little bit. A little drama action.

Loved it. That's awesome. What a great story, Caleb. Is that a bless your heart moment? Yeah, it's a good birthday gift for him. I stayed up late last night. I was pretty wound up after the show. I stayed up until midnight.

I don't do that anymore. i was fucking around on my phone just real i was watching youtube videos um patrick bed david clips and ufc clips and i was just completely fucking around yesterday hey there was a really gnarly part in yesterday's podcast where lindsay from birthfit talked about sexual assault and she talked about i i i don't know how she worded it but i re like obviously i know it. Like someone gets sexually, some chicks jogging through the park at night naked and she gets raped. Like we all know it's not her fault, but you can't, you can't free yourself from that pain

unless you really work through the honesty of what it is in your life that brought you to that moment that you made that those were your values or those were your judgments of society that put you in that situation god just the way she worded it because the the important part of after getting sexually assaulted or something obviously traumatic happening to you, right? Getting jumped at. I mean, well, I'll just use my example. Like I got jumped at a party in high school. And it was like they jumped me.

But like what was I doing out at night with drinking at a party, walking by myself using like i mean in hindsight if in that same situation i would i would have never walked where i was walking now that i'm 52 years old right yeah you know it was a bad idea right off the bat yeah there were fucking six guys coming i was at a party from mount diablo high school which is a ghetto high school and there were six guys walking towards me and i was by myself and it was on the uh street and i know that there's a shitload of drunk people everywhere and i've been drinking i mean it's it's like it's a trip god standy is so fun nice transition so fun nice transition you know we're like one degree of separation from donald trump now yeah who are we oh because of patrick bett david's hanging with him yeah i know that's cool right so basically trump come on the show like in the next year it's funny i do think he's going to come on the show

be pretty wild if you did yeah that would be fun uh craig alexander um writes in the comments there's there's two comp because yesterday's show is huge by the way you know um the sponsorship for the show and the offers we're getting are like there's there's so many now and there's so many that we we have to turn we're able to turn them down ones that just don't fit you know right but it's kind of so and i think in the last couple days there were a lot of people who watched the show someone said there were a lot of people who watched the show Someone said there were 4,000 when we would got off the show 9,000 people had watched the show live yesterday

the Taylor self versus the world mm-hmm, and so there's two comments I'm In the comments on YouTube one of them is seven isn't plugging a peptide company going against everything CrossFit stands for Isn't plugging a peptide company going against everything CrossFit stands for? And then it goes on to say people already think no, the top are on something. So imagine he just said that. He just said people already think slash know the top are on something. Why feed into that? How many zeros are on that check seven god people are so stupid and then two laughing emojis just stupid i got super low low level thinking there and who the we don't give a fuck i give a fuck who's on steroids i don't

give a fuck as long as the check clears they take what they don't i don't give a shit well did you enjoy the show but but but we wouldn't but but there are people that we don't take checks from. They are. Yeah. We've so serious money. One of the most commit. I fucked dude. Maybe the most, the most non, the most committed non, um,

non CrossFit athlete. I know to CrossFit is Sarah Cox, the owner of CA peptides. She's been to shit loads of affiliates. She has hundreds of CrossFitters who are friends. Um, she spends a minimum of two hours working out every single day she's exceedingly polite and generous and open

anyway capeptides.com use code word SEVON if you have a tendon or ligament injury BPC 157 seems to be the

popular one people are using I also hear that it can't be really tested for. Yeah, Pat, a lot of people definitely believe that CrossFitters are using it's the way of the world when you look

at what these warriors do. Who cares? Yeah. at these warriors what these warriors do who cares yeah okay you know uh our friend um andrew hiller does not drink any alcohol i don't know if he's ever had a sip of alcohol he doesn't drink any alcohol you won't see him um eating any uh shit you don't you just don't see him eating shit food you just don't see him like having a bite of cake or a bowl of ice cream he passes. You don't see him. That being said, he drinks C4 and does steroids.

I mean… Natural. Naturally occurring supplements. He's also not pushing them on people. So these sponsors that come to the show, they're only – they're coming to the show not because of me. Not because of Caleb. Sorry, Caleb. Not because of Sousa. They're coming to the show because of you guys. They're so coming to the show because of you guys.

They're so coming to the show for you guys. I'm so much... By no means do I profess to be perfect, but I so prefer honesty. Honesty for me trumps like everything. Just be honest. Just be honest. Even the way this guy writes this, like in that passive-aggressive form. I mean, I guess he said said I guess that's better than

saying someone else wrote hey isn't isn't ca peptides a banned substance it's like hey it's not even a that's not even a relevant issue who cares if it's a fucking banned substance we're not putting on the event what the fuck do we yeah

it's not one of my values whether to use or not use banned substances i don't i don't not park in the red because it says red i don't park in the red because i don't want a ticket and because i don't want to cause like i don't want to cause a traffic jam or stop a fire truck from using it but it's not because like it's it's not it's not because it's red do you know what i mean i um i used to grow marijuana i didn't care that it was illegal that wasn't like that wasn't one of my values that's not one of my values i did i i i took i have to i've gone places where it says hey only people who are vaxxed have to wear a mask i didn't wear a mask those my values don't follow around following the rules of what someone else tells me to do i've i've i'm bigger than that i believe in myself more than that

uh fergie show happy birthday sebon thanks for bringing the CrossFit to the world. I appreciate it. Um, it's, um, it's going to be hard to top if I'm ranking the comments, the, uh, the standee coupon,

it's really going to be tough. It's tough. It's going to be so tough. I think about getting a standee every day. You should have worked at black angus remember i told you that story about that chick that shit's fucking crazy you got hooked up doubt uh you don't put shopping carts away because it's not one of your values i do put shopping carts away i probably put shopping carts away more than people who claim they do but but my but one of my values but i don't believe

that you have to do it i don't think that that there's like – in the hierarchy of things, holding the door open for someone is way higher than putting your card away. Like someone's walking behind you. Like to be conscious when you walk through doorways who's in front of you and who's behind you is like significantly more conscious. I also don't think it's like a rule that you have to hold the door open. I just don't think – What's the distance you give people? It depends. Great great question it depends uh black people hot chicks and old people get like a 30 foot they get they just get more they just get hot chicks because i want to look

at you as you get closer kids because it's appropriate and black people because i just don't want it like i'm i'm i feel the social pressure of like feeling like they're gonna think like you know what i mean like for me yeah like i'm willing to walk around the block three extra times as long as i don't have to cross the street with a black person watching me so like i don't get accused of crossing this you know i mean let's say i have to cross the street to go somewhere i'm going but there's a black person walking towards me i'll just keep walking so that we can walk by each other okay gosh you're so good i'm a tool i'm a tool you're socially aware you're just no it's social pressure i just feel social pressure i feel social pressure oh shit wasn't that how you got jumped the first time that was it was it was seven black dudes you

fucking beat the fuck out of them uh people who don't put shopping carts away also don't put toilet paper on the holder. What? I don't think so. Also don't put... One's inside your house, though. One's in a parking lot. Yeah.

But I see it. I see what he's saying. Along that same line of thinking, you're saying we don't replace trash bags or like – Yeah, yeah. My kids say please, thank you, hold the door for strangers, and maintain eye contact when talking. If not, I beat them. Hey, doses, did you see that? Hey, Doses, did you see that? I saw in the comments yesterday you were saying that you don't think that there's people out there who condone pedophilia or who are trying to normalize it.

But I sent you that link the other day. I was sincerely wondering what you thought about that. I forget what it was, but I was wondering if you thought that was a form of – oh, it was basically they had a LGBTQT plus club at an elementary school for eight-year-olds. That is about time. That's what I say. And to me – you're so progressive. And to me, that seems like it's – that's a sex club. I know that they want to paint it as like a place of acceptance. But for eight-year-olds to already – I mean when I was – I remember when I was – I didn't know I was straight when I was five.

I knew I wanted the kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Allen, to come home and bathe me. We got to find Mrs. Allen. She's a redhead and not married to a redhead. Ah, that makes total sense. Yeah. She wore shirts with no sleeves, had big lats. Childhood crush, became your wife. So, yeah, so I can't, like, and I know, oh, oh, I responded to that.

Teacher is a pedo, not a question. Okay. But here's the thing. Responded to that teacher's a pedo, not a question. Okay. But here's the thing. But the argument, let me play devil's advocate here, is that they would call me homophobic and saying that homophobia is different than – I'm being homophobic because I'm projecting pedophilia onto a club that's just about gay people but the thing is is obviously and i think you and i see eye to eye on that it's not that it's just the fact of talking about sex to eight-year-olds like i didn't know why i wanted missing that mrs allen to come bathe me i never thought even even when i liked michelle harper in the second grade and i would follow her around and walk her home from school and shit i i still didn't know i was straight god she had charlie's angel's hair's long thick hair and it was like feathered and kim cavender that was that um kim cavender's dad heard me asking her for a kiss oh that's awkward what do you say on the phone oh did he say anything he said hang up

right now she told she told me she told me she was she was a redhead too southern girl god i i can go back to that feeling of wanting something from her but not knowing what it is like i just couldn't get close enough to her do you know what i mean wow you remember that feeling being a little kid and liking girls but not knowing i just acted like a clown didn't really know why yeah i acted like a clown too it was like mckenzie in the fourth grade and all of a sudden i would like stand on my chair when she'd watch and then anything to hold her attention not much has changed i guess my son the other day is like hey is it um uh so-and-so called me a show-off

someone called him a show-off i'm like yeah he goes is that bad i'm like ah let him know it ain't you ain't pimping if you got it i said there's nuances to it like because he really he and he he likes magic right so he wants to like do uh magic and i'm like that's like a form of showing off it's like it's okay i think i think it's okay to show off you doing anything you're good at is showing off these days like when i see kids pulling wheelies down the street i always honk at them and wave like yeah all right yeah boy not yeah girl because i never seen any girls doing it how come girls don't pull wheelies? They're smarter. The DEI should get on that.

There's a disproportionate amount of girls doing wheelies. But I do think that that is a black and white activity. In my town, there's no black people, but you see black people pulling wheelies. You know what I mean? You see black and white kids together pulling wheelies. Stephen Flores, happy birthday, Seve. What's up, buddy? 55170.

I want to thank Rosemary for birthing you. Fair. I think that's cool. And making such a cool dude. Thanks for waking up 7 a.m. every morning. Thanks. My family member died of mine, and my mom has flown to the Midwest to be with her sister and my cousins. And one of my cousins I haven't talked to in 40 years, probably since I've been 10 years old, texts me and he goes, hey, your mom tells me you're a conspiracy theorist libertarian.

And I told her that she has you miscategorized you're just awake wow yeah that's good yeah that's cool right yeah that's cool uh adam adam blakesley happy birthday you're looking svelte today uh nothing like a matuthian commercial i definitely need a matuthian i did wear this shirt today across the media Director because I'm I feel I'm so full of myself today And the team because of what we did yesterday

Yeah Svelte Svelte slender elegant Svelte Possibly has AIDS So So it was a year ago. My wife was asleep, and I asked her,

hey, was it a year ago that the group bought me this picture right here? Oh, there's the angle. Yeah, buddy. Hey, I'm filming in 1080 today. Let's go. Looks good. Look, you can see this angle. When I'm in this angle, I'm going to have to sit up straight

because when I hunch over, I get, like, titties. Yeah, you're fishbowling it. We can see that's this angle when i'm in this angle i'm gonna have to sit up straight because when i hunch over i get like titties yeah you're fishbowling it we can see everything from there so it was a year ago that this was purchased right i thought it was two years ago hayley told me it was a year ago it could have been a year ago i don't know dude a year ago today i was in here weeping like a baby was it a year ago why does it seem like so much longer you want to play the video no i think i could find it i tried like how gently like caleb let that out there you knew you like girls in the second grade but you didn't know you didn't know you didn't know that that made you straight right i mean like i i knew i liked girls too but i didn't even know why i liked them like i i wasn't like like now i know like i want a standee right i know what i want but i did not know that um

um i did not know that in the second grade so this is my i had suzy got on with me last night we were fooling around i got some i've been fooling around my cameras and i was showing him this angle and he and we decided this is if someone calls on the phone this is the angle i switched to so if you call on the phone like you get this angle yeah i like that angle it's all dark around the edges too what do you think Caleb that's cool you're in like a spotlight I like it yeah thank you layer it's a little hair it's the bat cave every time you go to that you're petting a cat somehow oh uh I could not pull a girl until I started lifting at 15 oh I was holding hands with this girl like in the second grade I kissed a girl for the first time when i

was a sophomore in high school i fell in love with her right after i kissed her she said two things she said you taste like peanut butter and i want you to know this kiss doesn't mean anything it was tracy fuck it was tracy muñoz it broke my heart i was so i was so into her oh my god oh my god peanut butter and i don't this doesn't mean it was at the bedroom it was in my bedroom still didn't mean anything damn how'd you get in your bedroom i was having like a party at my house my mommy used to let me have parties all the time i had parties all the time at my house invited Invited everyone over. We had soda pop and planters, peanuts out and shit like that. We would all sit around and the kids would hang out.

Cool. Smart on your mom. Always be the one to host the party because then you know where everybody's at and what they're doing. And there were these other two really pretty girls who would come over, Laura and Lisa Hilly. They were twins. Oh, snap. And they were not only pretty, but they were like, I don't want to say goody goodies, but they were goody goodies. I don't mean it in a bad way.

They were really cool. I thought all the kids were cooler than me that I hung out with. Were you cooler than the other kids you hung out with? Oh, yeah. No, no, no. They were cooler than me. I had enough to get into the cool kid group. Yeah, yeah, no.

Yeah. Were you ever the coolest kid, Caleb, or were your friends cooler than you? No, I was always the weird one because I would just move it. Like, I was always new wherever I went because i would oh moved like every three two years or whatever did you make you ever make it into the cool kid group never oh i was always in the cool kid group but like like suza said like i had to do shit you gotta earn your keep if i ever did make it and like maybe the one time i did was when we lived in germany but otherwise i was always on the i always got like outcasted to the weird kids like when i was on the football team it was like the second string guy and me the kicker you were the kicker hell yeah dude dude

do you know what that's amazing someone's i i saw so i met someone at broken science or something and they said hey um god who told me this they said i think they had a kid a baby and they said my dad's devised a 15-year plan for my kid to be a professional kicker you know you and your wife could do that oh hell yeah dude oh we're your wife could could just have a kid and be like hey well you just be like you're having a baby no oh you're not what are you having a nfl kicker exactly absolutely you guys have the perfect bodies for that together you guys could make a fucking yeah dude our kids are gonna be savages super they're both gonna be six foot

tall they're just gonna be like 200 pound if they're dudes is gonna be like 200 pound just fucking animals how much does it how much does a kicker make uh probably at least a million at least a million right and it's a long career you could do it 20 years right oh yeah there's a there's like uh adam benetary he played he was a kicker and he might still be a kicker actually he's been around for like 20 plus years he could make a career out of it if you're good enough that's what i mean like i think you could you and your wife could have kids dude if you had three boys they could all be fucking kickers in the nfl i bet you you guys could have a girl who can make it to the nfl that's very possible too fuck it let's find out how much let me see that yeah um uh how uh and like you don't

even send your kid to school or nothing he just he's just being groomed to some kids are groomed to be gay you would groom your kid to be a kicker. He could be a gay kicker if you wanted. Whatever. I don't give a shit. You're making millions of dollars, buddy. How much does – Possibilities. I could sit on my retirement for the rest of my life, and I don't have to give you shit.

And he never has to get hit either, right? Like he's totally safe. Yeah, maybe knocked down a few times, but that's it. Like you show up with flowers. Dear Mr. and Mrs. Beaver, there are 32 place kickers and 32 punters in the league, plus those on practice squads, many earning league minimum. This brings the average salary of the NFL kicker down to $860,000.

Who's the highest paid kicker in the NFL? Jake Elliott. How much did he make? A couple million? Let's see. Matt Gay, highest paid NFL kicker, just signed a four-year deal for $22.5 million. Holy shit, dude. Damn.

Oh, also, Pat McAfee. He was a kicker for the Colts. And, dude, that means... And he makes shitloads of money. That means that if you could be a kicker that makes $4 million a year, and you do that for 20 years, that's $80 million.

After taxes, $40 million. Then you have the next 40 years of your life just to hang out. So easy, dude. And I'll do behind the scenes with them every day. I'm so excited. If CrossFit doesn't go out of business and this whole behind the scenes thing thing takes off obvi is going to become a superstar i can't wait to take him to a uh it's funny that she always tongue-in-cheek about the cost i think if cost goes out of business that's the best opportunity for us possible oh okay well that's good we just live stream crossfit here we we are crossing what are you talking about the gang's all here all 216 of us

yep so the the people the people on the the sponsors are choosing this because of the um because of you guys i mean that that's the whole thing and we've we've come a long way since being considered persona non grata and and we're not going to make it and and you know what um part of me believe that it's just like the it's just like that article that the new york times said about me basically saying that the interview i did with stacy tovar was so inappropriate and i totally believe them and then and i never went back and watched it and then um andrew hiller and sporty beth made those videos on me,

and I saw the video, and I'm like, holy shit, I'm a fucking nice guy. I wasn't being a creep at all. She felt a little uncomfortable. That's not my responsibility, but she turned it around. She did great. She answered, and it was a ton. I don't want to say it's not my responsibility. I care that she felt uncomfortable.

I'm never trying to make anyone feel uncomfortable. But, boy, what a fucking gem that video was. And it's like that. So over the years, people are always telling you, hey, and it still happens to me once a week. Someone says, hey, your life would be easier if you didn't say this and didn't say this and didn't say this. But I don't think we get to where we're at if we if we didn't stay true if we stayed fake if we went fake yeah for sure and i'm not saying that when i have kids on the show or young guests you know um that i don't um you act yeah i'm gonna i'm going to i have

different um i act i don't want to say i act differently around my mom than i do around my friends but i'm not talking about standees in front of my mom right everybody yeah it's not that i'm not being authentic or it's it's not it's like when i have olivia kerstetter on i'm gonna try to not say any f-bombs right when i have trista smith on i'm not gonna like i'm not gonna start asking her about her boyfriend you know um yeah only hayley adams i mean hayley's well here's the thing too like you have to take an assessment right she's 22 or 23 everyone knew she had like some uh like d actor as a boyfriend and like if you're spent also if

you tell me that you're on snapchat five hours a day then i know you you know more you see more crazy shit than i do could be that's crazy man right uh eric wise happy birthday sebi thanks dude have a beautiful day and thanks for bringing it every day you're welcome uh uh three three games athletes and Taylor 2k a day 2k a guy plus travel expenses you don't even need a sponsor the listeners will pony up that easy

oh oh you mean if we do quarterfinals here's the thing I usually won't tell you guys this stuff but um basic every so so taylor didn't get paid andy hendel didn't get paid obviously caleb and suza didn't get paid um jr didn't get paid i didn't get paid john young didn't get paid hillary didn't get paid um John Young didn't get paid. Hiller didn't get paid. No one asked for money. Like I said, we gave some money. Basically, what I'm saying is the money we got from our sponsor, every cent we got,

we put towards getting the athletes there and making sure that they had a little pocket cash. And by the way, not a single person asked for it uh jason didn't ask for it colton or dallin like i think we surprised them all and so but but moving forward like you can't ask you got to give will like you got to give will something with at least three zeros on it you can't you can't have them do quarterfinals for a fucking week the dude i mean the dude's a beast the dude's got a legit job he makes coin which brings me to this other thing it's just this other idea i was talking to suza about this i think maybe caleb too if you're if you're an 18 year old girl and you want a a boyfriend and you want him to be um you have these you have these things that you want him you you these things you want from him right the way he looks how tall he is

these things you want from him right the way he looks how tall he is what maybe it's just as small maybe it's just how tall he is maybe that's all you care when you're 18 how tall he is six foot or above yeah thank you um but if you're 40 and you still first of all if you're eight man that still, first of all, if you're eight, man, that's why getting married young can be just a mistake. You have to realize that maybe you don't have to realize you will realize when you turn 40 or 50, that the things you wanted in someone when they were 18 were not conducive to a long, healthy life. But we were around someone the other day i don't know how old they are 40 or 50 but they were they were they were still single and they were telling us

what they wanted in a guy and i'm like holy fuck this person is fucking batshit crazy this person is fucking batshit crazy slim pickings you think is that why you think they Is that why? You think they have a lesser pool to choose from? It's just like this. I guess I should ask my wife why she picked me. But when my wife met me, I didn't have shit. I didn't have a place to live. But for some reason, she knew.

For some reason, she knew, and it fucking paid off. Now she's old, and she has three kids, and she doesn't have to worry about fucking money. Things are okay. So whatever she saw. Oh, female delusion calculator okay so what what age do we want our guy to be in uh um 40 just 40 not 20 to 40 oh okay yeah yeah yeah 30 yeah 35 to 45 35 to 55 let's say you're a 40 year old chick in in your in your we're excluding married dudes right

it's not like a multiple person marriage no I'll break up I'd break up a marriage I'm 40 I'm like 40 and I need cock and I want to get married and taken care of by a guy any race white or black dude

I'm not dating an Asian dude okay so any color okay fine that's fine A white or black dude. I'm not dating an Asian dude. Okay, so any color. Okay, fine. That's fine. As soon as we go to six feet tall, we're not going to get any Asian guys. Exclude obese, for sure. Okay, exclude obese.

Oh, yeah, definitely not obese. Yeah, six foot or above. No, I'm cool. 5'11 is cool. I'm old. I'm willing to settle. Annual income? No, I'm cool. 511's cool. I'm old. I'm willing to settle. Annual income? No, I live in California. 300. 300? Jesus. You're really weeding them out. I mean, dude, that's like nothing here.

Okay, find out. Ideal man. What's our probability? Whoa! Ideal man. What's our probability? Whoa. According to statistical data, the probability of a guy of the U.S. male population age 35 to 55 meets your standards is 0.76%. What's the delusion score? No way. I'm just, that's the thing with that Tinder thing. Like so many, so many chicks probably passed me up and it's like, man, you guys fucked up.

Top 1%. I'm everything that a fucking 40 year old like woman wants. And that's crazy. But they don't even know it, but they don't even know it. Well, let's play with that a little more. Let's play with that. It's crazy but they don't even know but they don't even know it well let's play with that a little more let's play with that it's crazy i'm the i'm the dream fucking husband for a fucking 40 year old woman and that's what i mean they don't know it because like they got their shit all fucked up but like i don't i don't bug my wife i'm cool as fuck anything she asks me to do i fucking do i have i have a steady fucking income she doesn't have to i made her great kids i'm a fucking great

father okay if she i don't ever care what she like i'll just do whatever ew i would never date anyone over 40 so 25 to 37 let's exclude me oh did, did someone say that? Let me see. No, that's just me saying that Uh caller. Hi Minimum income How's this max out 500k? I don't think that that's unrealistic to want someone who makes 500k. Holy shit. There's not a single white dot Not married any race at least six to not obese earning

500k a year hey go down the not obese thing is that what kills it salary oh okay okay let me do it let me do it i'm gonna tell you what i will take as a guy let me tell you what i'll take as a guy okay okay here we go uh i'll

take a guy between 22. Okay. Dang. Youngins. Great. I'm cool with it. And 54. 54.

Okay. Excluding married. Okay. No, no. I don't care if he's married. Okay. Right on. And I'll take the height down to like uh five fives fine actually i don't even care i i'll go down to five feet i really like

that one uh athlete games athlete that's five feet tall that doesn't look like a dwarf obese the thing is is i don't know about girl i would marry a dwarf girl i don't know i just don't want dwarf kids anyway and then take the and then yeah i'm not doing fat people i don't want to marry i don't just because of health reasons yeah you know what i mean yeah insurance shit yeah i mean i would date it i would i would smash a fat girl of course or a fat guy although fat girls are so less disgusting than fat guys i don't i don't even think fat girls are disgusting but fat guys are i don't know why because fat guy hair with fat on it's gross i don't mind a girl he's 100 pounds overweight i really don't where it's at you know those black

you know the black chick i'm talking about she's 100 pounds overweight and her tits are like fucking this big she got bazongas yeah you know what i'm talking about like you see them around there there's a lot of them like i'm attracted to that you get lost in this yeah i'm very attracted to that what's the minimum okay uh income let's say 130,000 no i'm gonna say 75,000 actually i don't even want my person to work, but whatever. Is there a caller? Yeah, he just flushed the toilet. Oh, shit.

Yeah. Oh, shit. Okay, wow. I'm in the fucking game. Yeah. What's the delivery score? Only two catnips. Down to earth.

You're down to earth. Okay, wow. Look at you. Wow. Yeah, I don't mind tits on her waist. I don't mind any of that. I'm not even like... Anyway, caller at you. Wow. Yeah, I don't mind tits on her waist. I don't mind any of that. I'm not even like... Anyway, call her hi.

Hey, what's up, boy? It's Blake. Oh, what's up, dude? I'm interested in... To be honest with you, I like density of boobs is my favorite thing over everything. You know what I mean?

I don't care if they're saggy or big or small. I like them to be the denser, the better. You don't want just tissue down to the waist? I don't want it they're saggy or big or small. I like them to be the denser, the better. You don't want just tissue down to the waist? I don't want it like when I reach in, it's like grabbing a handful of water. You know what I mean? Like put my hand into it. Yeah, like I don't care.

If her tits are down to her knees, I don't care if they're dense. What do I care? To her knees. It, I don't care if they're dense. Like, what do I care? To her knees. It does not matter to me. They're dense. If they're dense, I'm fine with it. What's up, dude?

How are you? Hey, I am outstanding, bro. At first, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Thanks, man. Homeboy. Thank you. That's just a big deal. I put that shit in my calendar because I like being that dude. Whenever I find out somebody's birthday, I put that shit in my calendar because I like being that dude. Whenever I find out somebody's birthday, I put that shit in my calendar and put a reminder every year.

I respect that. My wife does that. I respect that. Thank you. Hey, the next year when I'm just coming out of left field talking about happy birthday, motherfucker be like, damn, thank you. You're supposed to get it from your wife, your mom. But then when Blake comes out of nowhere talking about happy birthday, it's oh shit hell yeah my dog remembered hey thank you it's gonna do that

and i'm not on facebook so no one can like see my birthday but you know what's funny is is like um when i worked at crossfit everyone's birthday was like on the calendar and so all the people who still work there who know me like they all know today's my birthday which is funny hey and then one thing for that delusion calculator that unfortunately can't be uh entered is dumbassery oh yeah yes yes yeah yeah because we all think like so i learned this oh man i learned this through the years we all think we want so I learned this. Oh man, I learned this through the years. We all think we want this bad-ass chick and fine-ass girl, but don't nobody want hot girl problems. Right. Like for example, right. Like, like your level of security needs to be ridiculous. Your level of self-dopeness needs to be an 11.

If you want to date a 10 or a nine and your level of self-dopeness. Everyone's staring at your girlfriend. everyone's staring at your girlfriend everyone's staring at your girlfriend everyone exactly yeah and quite frankly as long as they don't cross the line of blatant disrespect or touching it's like hey if if you're not looking at my girl maybe i just got an ugly girl so thank you yeah listen everyone wants to fuck your girl like you just have to know that if you got a hot chick and you have a hot chick like you don't go every you know if you leave the house with your wife some dudes are going to stare at your chick you know that when you're stopped you're in the driver's seat your wife's in the passenger seat the dude next

to lose it's just the way it is and hey yeah you're right and you can't be bugged by that at all you have to flip the script on it like you're saying and be like yeah like of course they like her that i like her too you know yeah that's why okay i was uh a little late on the show and i had to catch up at 1.25 and earlier you know the topic is self-doubt and it's got got you know i'm saying hey i'm trying to do it in order especially if i'm gonna call in i don't want to yeah yeah I don't know repeat respect yeah hey we talked about all already thank you click but no hey show off fuck everybody that says you're a show off or anybody to show off so tell my kid to show off yeah I like that that's what I'm doing it's okay to show off peacock it'd be the most if yeah it'd be the most non-doing shit ass people who talk about showing off and be mad about it you can be humble as fuck and still show off it's fine exactly yeah just do you

have a good time you're not rolling people's nose in the dirt they're doing it on their own because they sad they can't do a damn back clip or some shit yeah hey blade have you ever seen this chick met this chick olivia who's in the comments do you know what i'm talking about let me see she has the hot tub uh uh um the hot tub that looks like a girl with her wide open oh do you know who that is i i do not i've i've i'll lay a little late to the game i'm unplugging who is is who I'm catching up pretty well I don't think most people know who she is But I've seen her before And dude

Her boyfriend must be so fucking confident Because like everyone's staring Like everybody Like everybody Like chicks are staring Kinda hot So this is a good thing for my peace of mind, but it could be a bad thing down the road because you could call it naive. Like, I think I'm way too dope to ever get cheated on.

Yeah, me too. Me too. I go to work every fucking night. I'm gone from whatever to whatever. If I'm going to get cheated on, I'm going to get cheated on. And so what I'm going to do, I'm mad trying to look through phones. And, oh, you're doing – trust me or leave me. And I have the same philosophy. And I'm like, hey, real talk, you want to cheat on me? All right.

That's a bold move, Cotton. Let's see how it works out for you. Yeah, I agree too. There's no – I never think about that. That's amazing. Like for what? My wife – I never think about that. That's amazing. Like for what? My wife – I joke around with my wife. My wife goes to a class like every single day somewhere, and I've joked around with her before being like, hey, what if I followed you to class today?

But there's no way. There's no way. Here's the thing too. I think my wife would go crazy if she cheated on me. Possibly. I don't think she can keep a secret like that. I think if she kept a secret like that, she'd fucking explode. Yeah, she would wither away and die.

She just can't do it. Just imagine how much aging and poison it is just thinking that and like not being able to prove it and so you're rather than loving on your old lady you're consumed with trying to catch her right so y'all at the crib you just sitting there you just sitting there bitter poisoning the room with anxiety versus freaking making the room a little air freshener with what your love you know I'm saying rather than massaging her feet or dicking her down or something you over here salty wait until she goes up to use the bathroom so you can snatch her phone damn hey but blade here's the thing when i was up until i was i don't know 30 i was like i was i had no problem cheating none zero but i still didn't think anyone was cheating on me. That's some delusional shit.

I didn't even think of it as cheating though. I didn't even think of it as cheating. I was just like, Hey, there's plenty of me to go around. Let's do this. That's the sauce. Hey,

that's the sauce that your wife felt that bag. You're like, I don't know what it was. You just, you probably just had a sauce about you. That unexplainable motherfucking pheromone type i don't know what it was you just you probably just had a sauce about you that unexplainable motherfucking pheromone type shit you know what i'm saying yeah hey did you have when you met when you met your wife did you have a bunch of girlfriends and she called the herd hey so real talk exactly i that's what my wife did she got rid of the other i did not want a girl bro i was i was a motherfucker well

i was like 20 23 year old just crossfitting out crossfitting like two three times a day and you are a magnet you are you you you you probably have to like when you go out you need security oh yeah you're a problem he does You are a problem. You need security. Security around you needs security. Hey, so a funny story, bro. We went on a little date to a Globetrotters game, and she posted it and tagged me on Facebook. That goes to show how long this was.

Tagged me on Facebook, and we weren't like that yet. We'd been kicking it, but we weren't like that. And I hit her on the we weren't like that and i hit her on the low i was like hey hey you can't be tested yeah yeah what the fuck yeah i would have never survived yeah yeah i hear you i feel you oh shit and she obviously it worked out because we still rocking but she did take it some kind of way at first. But, you know, like quite frankly, if you did a poll through a thousand, 10,000 women, I'm pretty sure that the majority would say they'd respect the cat who dealt with slight discomfort on the front end. But then afterwards they realized they were just being honest. And then later shit worked out versus taking them on some year-long merry-go-round talking about oh you're my only girl i love you yeah oh please

yeah and then yeah i guarantee it because like i i off the top of my head if everything were to fall apart in my life right now i could probably re probably re hook up with every girl I've ever hooked up with just because I ended on solid terms. Yeah. Now, now excluding like happily married and all that shit. Yeah. But like I was the type that would wouldn't like sent for pussy or say some stupid shit just to get it. If I didn't get it, I didn't get it. And't get it and by telling the truth quite frankly i ended up getting it like a month later yeah yeah yeah right exactly yeah i believed in never closing doors either i uh everyone you're either on the a team or you're on the booty call list and there was never there was never a door to close hey you up motherfuckers be out here yeah motherfuckers

be out here accidentally you're having four girlfriends without them realizing it because they'd be lying and then trying to fix that lie but they gotta close this one up it's like fucking a gambling addiction you know what i'm saying but that grim reaper every time you tell a lie you gotta think of a grim reaper chasing your ass yeah yep he don't get tired but all right jay i appreciate you taking my call happy birthday and i'll let you later dude later dude did he flush the toilet one time during that were you on the toilet when you called oh it sounds like you might be at work i've told the story before but i was sitting at this outside restaurant called javon's in isla vista eating a hamburger with this chick that i

was doing and this other chick came by that i was doing and i and when she she what she rolls up and she comes in i stand up give her a hug give her a kiss on the cheek offer her to sit down She sits down then this other chick walks up a third that i'm doing. Oh, wait till you hear this story I give her a hug kiss on the cheek. She sits down another chick walks up So now there's four four girls at the table that are they're they're in the I'm, almost embarrassed to say they're in the like daily rotation all of them oh my goodness yeah this town's crazy everyone's on foot and on bike and apparently dating you and i'm sitting at the table with these four girls that are all

in the rotation it was crazy it was fucking crazy and nothing but nothing bad happened i just acted cool i just acted cool god if there would have been a cell phone i would have uh savon's telling us about his dream last night dude if there would have been cell phones back then and i could have like grabbed for some pictures of that shit what's going on the snap story both friends god damn god damn it's crazy i had a picture i i can i had a picture of sierra nevada that's what libtards drink sierra nevada yeah i was drinking a picture of sierra nevada outside at the bench did you get four more glasses or did you just oh yeah yeah i got i get and i bought probably the last 13 in my pot i probably had $13 exactly my pocket got another picture pimping

Him damn, I'm surprised they're all cool with it. I Mean they'd know no nothing came up. Nothing weird came up But I was like juggling balls and shit You know what? I mean like I was entertaining trying to tell jokes be funny like just like work the magic but no one's like hey Are you fucking him really no nope adam blakesley they had four three teeth between the four of them dude dude listen ouch they were all 18 to 22 year old college chicks with 10 pounds of extra weight on them all in their titties it was

you know how the college girls hold their weight yep look at sleekies comment so how do you know so much yeah no every uh i don't i don't i don't remember i remember it only being weird because i i was tripping But nothing ever got weird It was crazy Oh my gosh I don't know how you pulled that off When will Caleb sport muscle tees? He doesn't want to get honked at

This motherfucker doesn't want to get honked at I'm reserving myself for my wife You guys don't get this. Oh my gosh. Alright. Where's my notes? Oh, we only have eight minutes

left of this show. I'm going to a jiu-jitsu tournament in Woodside today. Woodside, California. I think that's where Don lives. Woodside? All Woodside, California. I think that's where Don lives. Yeah. Woodside? You see him working out with Katie Hanager.

Wait, show me that. Can I see that? Yeah, let me find Let me see what's going on. Let's see. Hopefully it wasn't a story. I invited this, there's this Navy SEAL, Scott Watson, that's been like... Somehow him and Andy Stumpf got into a tiff.

Oh, that's it proven. Yeah. Dude, look at the fingers. That's AI generated. You can tell right away. God, Don is yoked. That's Maddie... Sturt.

Sturt. Sturt. I like Maddie Sturt for some reason. Who's the guy all the way to the right? I like her more than I should like her for how little I know her. Oh, I don't know who that guy is. CEO of Noble? Oh, he's wearing a Toomey shirt leader jersey maybe it was just like uh they just all got together and worked out kind of thing no listen listen here's it here it is uh uh ceo

of crossfit um wealthiest person in the crossfit space vegan athletes athletes um side piece maddie stir jay that's great jay crouches chick a tia to me it's her gym greatest to ever do it and then that's obviously like a manager or someone who's paid to be there you know what i mean yeah sorry dude if you're not a leech but i'm just putting you in the leech category he's on payroll yeah he's like yeah he's a manager fill the bike's feet at maybe i could give him what's that on his elbow i was gonna say maybe he's tia's dad or something is that athletic that's the monitor from tia's oh yeah just kind of looks funky he's a guy

and is he wearing is he wearing boots is he wearing boots no Is he wearing boots? Noble high tops? Noble high tops, yeah. Or no, nobles with long black socks. Yeah, so he's some sort of – no offense, dude. You're a tool probably. Tool the man. Yeah. You're like a – you're part of sin or – what's that guy? What's the guy?

There was a guy recently I was making fun of because he took a shot at Tia for not competing by the way anyone who thinks and Cooper any no someone else someone took a shot at Tia for not competing some agent I forget his name anyone who thinks that

Tia should have competed you're a fucking idiot you saw how fucking stressful it was for Colton and Taylor. And you want the fucking greatest athlete in the world to get out there and hobble along with Ariel? You're a fucking idiot. I'm going to punch all those guys. I'm going to crank call John Young and Taylor and all those guys today.

Wait, they all thought that she should have still done it? Yeah, all those guys on the show. Everyone thought she should have still competed. I'm like, you guys are fucking... Wait a minute, so you mean to tell me wannabe games athletes that can't make it had a suggestion on what Tia should do with the CrossFit Games champion? My body, my choice.

Oh, I didn't switch to my fucking camera angle for Blade. God damn. I'm sorry. We should have said something. I forgot. He was calculating. You have a Trump. Your Trump hat is hanging on there. You just hang it there.

Just for ease of use. There's supposed to be a monitor here. I'm supposed to have a four. There's three monitors. I'm supposed to have a fourth monitor here. Jesus. What are you going to do with that fourth monitor? I just want to be cool.

I just want to be, you know what I mean? I like it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just want to have too much? I just want to be cool. I just want to be complete. You know what I mean? I like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want to have too much. That's a perfect answer. Yeah, I just want to feel like a… And so these are all horizontal monitors, and I want this one to be a vertical monitor.

Just because every productive person has a vertical monitor. Yep. You should probably just have stock markets running on your vertical monitor. I'll have porn and then the stock market playing on it. CNN. Oh, CNN. Yes. She's still doing the workout.

Of course, she's still doing the workout. Yes. But how is that a reason why she should do it publicly in a competition against ariel where you're supposed to showcase how good you are i would never i would never ask someone who's the best at what they do to perform publicly at 90 percent speaking of which jack dala madalena the guy who's been on the show at least once maybe twice he fucking beat up gilbert burns and in the first round broke his fucking arm like really broke it and i texted him the other day now he's probably he's probably top five in the um 171 class now welterweight that's a fucking crazy division yeah he's coming top five in the 171 class now. Welterweight.

That's a fucking crazy division. Yeah, he's coming. I texted him the other day. He said he's going to come on the show after his surgery. Oh, cool. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. You're never going to be able to.

He doesn't get any big UFC fighters on. He doesn't. How about getting bare at some point? Get a true idea of how much traffic taylor versus the world brought bp that wouldn't be a public discussion and we've already had bear on yeah kenneth come on kenneth we know it did great we know it killed a relative to what other people in the space were creating we had no. I say that with peace and love. You mean social production doesn't work?

I say that with zero humility. We absolutely... We crazy provided. Is it 171? Oh, you're laughing because that's a small man. Okay, Heidi, here we go, girl. Get prepared to have your feelings hurt The open is a community event so showcase To the community that you can still get out there

And do your best dude That's what the community event Part was for the open cures loneliness Are you fucking with me Heidi There's so much fucking pressure me Heidi there's so much fucking pressure on her she's the best to ever fucking do it

and you want her to go out there and go against hey it's like asking Lance Armstrong just to go on just like a little bike ride or something like do you think Lance ever gets on a bike without clip-ons no no

this is probably uh this is probably a true this is probably a true line of the open destroy self-esteem you'll be cured of loneliness but your self-esteem will be shattered the open has buried more people doing crossfit over 40 than anything else the what what's it say what's the quote i said it's buried more people over 40 than anything yeah bernie gannon competition juices could have influenced tia to push herself to further injury yeah i mean you just cannot ask an elite athlete to perform publicly when they're when they're not at their best you just can't or you can't expect them to 99 chance tia wouldn't know how to stay in cruise control yeah exactly we'll put away put way too much stress on her wrist then fuck it up

way more for quarterfinals and the real game season yeah those boys you know what's crazy is sometimes i'm like man these guys are so out of touch because like they don't understand the programming and all this stuff because they just are games athletes right so like they only know formula one cars they don't know toyota camry at all i get it i'm fine with that i like fighting with that but then but then they should also you can't have it both ways. If you're going to be so biased, John Young, Taylor Self, I don't know where J.R. fell. Should I call J.R. and ask him? They say J, so it's like halfway there.

J. Let me see. J. We're not sure. J. I think J.R. – I really hate to lump J.R. up with the rest of those guys, but here we go. Let's find out, and then we'll go. This will be the last bit.

Oh. Thank you. Son of a bitch. He's probably at church. Is it Sunday? Saturday. He's probably coaching class. Yeah, 11 o'clock. Is it Sunday? Saturday. He's probably coaching class. Yeah.

11 o'clock. We're just finishing up. Oh, you reached JR. Will, they're not games athletes, but they think they are. JR was. Yeah. I identify as a games athlete. Tia and all the pros were proven last night judging during Fridayiday night lights very cool to see blah barf i don't want community so get your ceo shirts

vindicate vndka i don't want to see i don't want to see uh tia judging or don oh but we're here with the people i just sit in the back and drink coffee. Enjoy it. I'm judging someone. Lower my fucking head. Yeah. The fucking head of media. Get out there. What if you get some sweat on me? There's levels to this shit. All right.

Um, don't forget. January 6th was the most dangerous event in the country's history since the civil war. was the most dangerous event in the country's history since the Civil War. Make sure you give your kid a cell phone. Definitely give your kid a cell phone. At 8, give your kid a cell phone. And make sure you download all the major apps.

And turn on the parent settings. You'll be totally fine. Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook you'll be totally fine snapchat instagram yeah yeah totally fine uh and uh as soon as your child can talk uh make sure you offer up all the different identities they can be god forbid they become who they are so let them choose amen i leave oh oh what's this? There we go. Oh, yeah. Caller, hi. Hello? Hello, Seve.

It's me, Sporty Beth. Oh, my goodness. Hi. How are you? God, I owe you a serious apology and a shitload of respect. Totally, Seve. And I just wanted to call and say happy birthday and you're welcome.

Thank you. For everything I've done for you. When I sit deep in this egomaniac, narcissistic state of mind, I thought you were being mean to me and I made it all about me. But now that I've taken a broader picture, I realize that I appreciate your

honesty and your vulnerability by attacking me and by being precise in your attack, even though I don't agree with them. I respect your game much more. It just took other people, other douchebags to be too afraid to say how they feel about me to get me to respect you. So I just want to tell you, thank you for that. to get me to respect you. So I just want to tell you thank you for that. Again, you're welcome. Okay.

And anything else I can say for you, baby, I love you. And yeah, happy birthday. And you know, it's all love, Savvy. It's just that you're a sexist, homophobic pig. But other than that, I love you. Would you fuck me? homophobic pig but other than that i love you would you me that's uh well i do depends heavy because the problem is i just can't get pregnant again i hate it i wear a condom i'm old school i'll wear a condom you have great titties i just would just fine i'll do it but i'm not happy about it okay i don't want to force you i want you to

enjoy it so i want it to be mutually i never enjoy i i would never enjoy that so either way no that's something i do just oh you don't enjoy sex period you don't enjoy sex period right oh okay all right so all righty well happy birthday thank you i love you thank you i'm glad this was a healing moment for me thank you bye bam tomorrow we'll be at war today she's wishing me happy birthday greatest tits in the game sporty beth fuck crazy someone someone had the audacity so you know i like lats yeah and this chick got my my dms and

she said the reason why you like lats is because when you see a lat the arms up and it changes the way the tit hangs and i was i was i was offended by that because it's like has nothing to do with the boobs The reason why I like the lat I even like the lat from behind. I like the lats on men. I just like lats and armpits I prefer female armpits over male armpits You think daniel brandon's tits are better than sporty best tits you're out of your fucking mind, dude there's there's rarely a fat girl that doesn't have better tits than... Scott, I hate that you appreciate fat girl tits.

It's absurd. Why? You think it's like cheating or something? What's wrong with them? Yeah, it's totally cheating. Okay, all right. No, it's not a fetish it's like saying if i lose like oh i'll lose weight and i'll get better gymnastics um i think it's uh i think it's healthy i think it's how it's um caleb is a boobist yeah maybe yeah what can i say um i i think it's healthy i think i think it's healthy. I think I'm, like, spot on with my biology. I don't think it's a fetish at all.

I think I'm, like, perfectly aligned. Well, at least, hey, Caleb, let's leave on a good note. You and I, you like boobs. Yeah, big, big boob guy. Yeah, or just put your face in some boobs. Just rest your – like fall asleep with a nipple in your mouth, like you're two still or one. Yep.

Yep, me too. All right. See, it's all good. Kayla and I are leaving on a good note. Can we be kinder, please? Dude, we're in full kindness mode. Anyway, yeah, heavy naturals thank you i bet that's gotta be a website i bet seve uses that big nose to sniff feet i am not in defeat feet buttholes stuff i'm not in the feeder buttholes. John George, shut the fuck up.

Sporty Beth over DB. I'm out. Listen, I know you guys are having a philosophical issue with it. I love Danielle Brandon. I find her exceedingly attractive. No, he's agreeing with you. Oh. Sporty Beth over DB.

No, I think he's saying that I think that, so he's out. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, I fall asleep on the ass, too. I would put my chick face down and then lay between her legs with my head on her ass and then watch TV, fall asleep. I'd do that. That sounds fun. For sure. um um

david reed wants to throw emily rolf in the mix for titties yeah i mean we're splitting hairs but yeah now we're just getting weird yeah don't be perverted guys you've taken it from an anatomy class to perversion we were just talking about lats. Yeah. There's a picture of my mom on my screen. My mom sent me a picture of her and my aunt together. This is kind of weird that I'm looking at this while talking about this. Oh, shit. What's my wife saying?

Oh, I'm listening to your show. Now I know what to give you for your birthday. Oh, I'm going to go inside and get a standee, I bet. Boobs. Oh, look. Colton said happy birthday. Oh, hey, what's up, dude? Happy birthday Dude Colton. Thank you so much, dude. What a crazy show we did good. Thanks for fucking making it so wonderful, dude. I Seriously had trouble. I wonder if you guys had trouble sleeping last night, too I had so much trouble sleeping I know I didn't drink last night or anything but but like i now i know why like

probably like rock stars and shit and comedians drink because you get off stage and you're so fucking high from what you just experienced and you kind of like need a sedative to bring yourself down i couldn't come down yesterday i was so excited about the show it was really good nuts cory what's up dude happy birthday oh no you're saying happy birthday to me wait happy birthday to you too all right you guys thanks for the sign a year ago thanks for watching the show so sponsors give us money um we will work on we will work on, we will try to work on something for quarterfinals. We'll talk to you guys soon. I don't think we have a show tonight,

but who knows? Oh, you I'll be watching. Oh no, no. I'm going to my kids. Uh, jujitsu tournament now. All right,

Caleb. Thank you. Is that rude? When I say thank you to you, like sometimes I think like, well, of course you're here. Like if I say thank you to you? Like, sometimes I think like, well, of course you're here. Like, if I say thank you to you, it's like belittling you almost.

I've never taken it that way. Okay, good. All right. Very sensitive. I'm very sensitive. So if there's one thing we learned from the show today, it's that when Caleb runs with his shirt off, people honk.