The Sevan Podcast - Live Call In Show | WORST Drivers, Diddy News, Katt Williams

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

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um, maybe it's because I turned down my... Maybe it's because I turned down my... Microphone. Bam, we're live! Oh, for 10 seconds. It's weird. I can be gone for a day, and I feel like I'm not even home here anymore.

That's how quickly I get rusty. April Fool. Sent. Sent, sent sent sent sent how many times you think you've been pulled over by the cops um three or four times in your life yep wow wow all speeding what all speeding oh experience you've had with the cops. I don't think I have. I mean, I come from a pretty privileged neighborhood. It's just when I was with my brother one time and we got pulled over just because his, like, lights weren't on.

And it was just, like, you know, more than one police is showing up. There's, like, dogs outside. And it's literally just questioning us on where we're going. And we live off the road. So just even that, that made me, made me like boom turn on my camera like start videoing out of instinct so that was something that just made me realize like who i am in my place here like in america as a black person what was she was told to think that she was fucking told to think that i've been pulled over 200 times. I've been pulled over 30 times where 40 times where other cars were called. I've been pulled out of my car 20 times. I mean, I grew up in the Bay Area. I grew up in the Bay Area. Fuck yeah.

Was the first time you get pulled over that you react the same way on like the 20th and 40th and 100th yes every time every time i i act the exact same way every time cool as fucking shit put my hands on the steering wheel turn the fucking uh car off i would say at least half the times the cops were assholes to me by assholes i mean um they could they could they could have been nicer to me you know they could they didn't treat they could have been nicer to me. You know what I mean? They, they could, they didn't treat, they treated me like, like I felt like I was guilty before I was, um, innocent, but,

um, but nothing. Um, I mean, I've been let off so many fucking times for doing fucked up shit. Like speeding 10 over 15 over kind of thing. Yeah. One time I,

I told the story one time i was arrested i was taken to jail for speeding i was doing 65 into 25 listen if a cop doesn't pull you over at night when you don't have your lights on he is not fucking or she is not fucking doing their job that's a good point it's so dangerous even when it's like raining too it's insane that she says she was pulled over because she was black when she didn't fucking have her lights on. If I'm a cop, I'm like right away thinking that person's fucking drunk, stupid, or doesn't have the awareness to be on the fucking road. Get the fuck off the road. I wish they'd pull over more people for shit like that.

That changing lanes without using your signal, fucking pull people over over i should have been pulled over a lot more than yeah not using your signal is just idiocy to me i always use my signal do you always use your signal no no no well i mean out here there's like no traffic so you're just kind of going wherever you need to go. Like you're staying in the lanes and everything, but there's nobody around that's going to care or whatever. If I'm in the city, then yeah, I'll do it. A couple, I don't know, like a month ago I told a story already. I was pulled over. I was in my 4Runner, and I didn't have my registration sticker sticker on and it was nighttime i had my son in the car i pulled over

the cop actually seemed scared she was the smallest cop i'd ever seen really yeah she's probably she might have been under five feet tall whoa yeah she was tiny she could barely like see my window she called a backup cop i was we were in a 35 i passed her i was probably going 25 like we were it was moving very slow it was even though it's 35 it was like through a little town area where there's a bunch of little stores and stuff right and i pulled into a dark parking lot it was the only place to pull over sure she walked up to the passenger side she let me go no ticket oh that's nice sir time before that was probably like a year before them what's weird is i reached a certain age and i just stopped getting pulled over i do i suspect it's because i i'm just i

just don't do as much dumb shit that's possible too yeah i think old people on the road just nobody fucks with them like because there are some very old people driving out on the road and doing very dangerous things like swerving in and out of lanes and going 15 20 miles and miles an hour under the speed limit and they not that they don't do anything about it yeah how about these people i've seen it twice now in my neighborhood or you know in the last year they when they merge onto the freeway on an on-ramp they stop oh yeah i i hadn't seen that and i i can't remember the last time i saw that and now i've seen it twice both old asian people straight to jail i think it's totally fair to say asian people are the worst drivers yeah Yeah, I would say that too.

I would say that when I look at shitty drivers, it's like this. And it's close, but it's Asian, old, and women. I never look into a car and it's like a 22-year-old guy. Yeah, right. I never. Unless he's doing something crazy shit like the guy weaving through traffic. Yep. But I'm never like, what the fuck did that...

That dude just hit a curb on an island making a left-hand turn. A fucking 12-inch curb. And you look and it's like, old Asian woman. Then it's a triple crown. I play that game with my wife all the time. We'll be driving somewhere and be like, what are the odds this guy's... Or this driver is a woman. Yeah.

It's usually a woman and so i don't think that that's sexist or racist just an observation yeah just an observation just happens to be it just happens to be one of those just happens to be one of those things it's like if you're walking down the street and there's an old Asian guy walking by you, never once do you think this guy's going to rob me. Right. Never. Maybe he'll sell me a bonsai tree, but.

Yeah. Or you think, hey, I got, I shouldn't bump this guy. What if he falls down into the street and dies? Right. Yeah. Dude, what are you doing? Just discernment how it's fucking wild it just reminds me more and more of what xavier derosa said

that basically he was taught that cops are are racist yeah yeah twice i was pulled over with huge amounts of marijuana when marijuana was illegal. And both times the cops didn't see it, find it. Both times just wide out in the open. Really? Yeah. I was in a, uh, I was in a neighborhood that's, um, uh, in Oakland. It's all, it's all no, no, no, not a single white person lives there.

in Oakland. It's all, no, no, no, not a single white person lives there. I was in my Toyota pickup truck and I was hanging out there with this dude. He was like 50 years old and his wife, I don't know if it was his wife, it was his girlfriend, crazy ghetto chick. She was old too. She was probably like 50. No bra. I had the titties like down by her belly button, no furniture in in the house and we were just hanging out in there and they were smoking crack and i i would i never smoked crack in my life but i was just hanging out in there and um so when i left i probably got like four blocks and a cop pulled me over and next thing i know there were five cops around my car oh and i got out and they're like hey what were you doing there i go hey it's just a friend of mine they're like hey dude no one comes in this neighborhood unless they're buying drugs

especially someone who looks like you i was probably i don't know my 20s which wasn't true i never bought drugs there or anything um it was just a friend i knew just from the streets right just a guy like because i was always walking i walked everywhere i was just a guy i knew from the streets i'd known him for like i don't know 10 years since i probably 16 to 26 i don't even know what happened to him and uh and i just like hanging out with him and just seeing how he lived and hearing his stories anyway so the cops pull me over and they're like hey you got to get out of the car we're going to search your car i'm like okay no problem and they're all talking to each other and they're telling the story they're like it's so weird this white kid fucking in this

neighborhood and like what's he doing and it was on ashby avenue busy at busy street in oakland oakland or berkeley i can't remember which side i was on and they're like hey can we see your driver's license? And I reach into the, I'm like, hey, can I go into my car and get my backpack, my driver's license and my backpack? And I reach into my, grab my backpack and I open my backpack and there's four ounces of weed in there. All in four one ounce bags.

And I'm like, oh, fuck. This is it. This is it. I'm toast. And I pull my driver's license out and I show it to them and they search my car. And I'm super polite the whole time right no zero posturing have my hands like this you know the whole time holding my hands in front of me right they let me they let me go wow yeah what do you know yeah it's like if you treat people nicely they'll be nice to you in return they never searched the backpack. The backpack was,

I was surrounded by five cops with my backpack on the ground. It was slightly a jar, not a single one of them searched the backpack. It's a lot of luck too, probably. And then the other time I was doing a hundred miles an hour and it was in my pickup truck again. And I was probably transporting 20 pounds of weed and I was going down the

five from, uh, or no, I was going down the one Oh one from, i was going down the 101 from uh the bay area to santa barbara this is a black cop pulled me over this time and highway patrol and i had my dog in the back and 20 pounds of uh weed in the back in in what looked like a treasure chest suitcase you know the kind with like the steel thing that flaps down okay yeah and like like one you've seen the cartoons yeah and my dog's in the back just going fucking crazy and the car smells so bad and he pulled up to the window and he's like hey you're going you know way over the speed limit um i'm like yeah i know i'm sorry and then he's like can

i see your driver's license and then right then i don't know why but i'm like hey could i get out of the car just because the dog's barking in here and it's driving me crazy and could i walk over to your car and he said sure and he got me out and i sat on the like the bumper of his car he goes wait here don't move and so we did the whole but the but the real reason was i didn't want to smell the weed and he gave me a ticket for like i think the speed limit there was whatever it was he just gave it to me for 10 over that's awesome yeah that's always clutch whenever i got tickets that's the same thing that they do because i could you could get like there's like a line between like reckless driving and like just speeding. And I always get the speeding ticket, not the reckless driving or whatever it is.

And then I've told this before on the show, too. The three times I went to jail was no registration in Isla Vista. Another time was a dog off leash ticket that I didn't pay. Well, that I did pay, but that I didn't have proof that I paid. Well, I had proof that I didn't pay. I didn't go to court and show it to the judge. I even had the proof that I paid in my wallet. And then the third time I went to jail was – that was in Albany. And that was kind of legit.

I jumped an intersection because I was doing 65 in a 25, and I went – and I was coming down a hill. And then you know how, like, the roads will crown to keep the water off them? And and I went and I was coming down a hill and then you know how like the roads will crown the water off them and when I hit I came up he's like sir he's like sir you're you cleared the intersection cool huh you want to see me do it again my it was an 85 nissan maxima and my dad told me that when he went to take the car in the next time they put it up on the jacks and worked underneath it he said all the bolts on the bottom were just like sheared flat holy shit yeah but i was always polite i never never postured but i was always getting stopped and pulled over always for something. Always, always,

always for something. Yep. Yep. My two tone, those silver and gray. It was my dad's car. God. And it was like,

Oh my God, you get to drive. I was always so excited that I got to drive my dad's car. You jumped the median on that? Another time, this was right after I graduated from high school,

I jumped an intersection in my truck and the cop walked right up to the car and goes, I was really drunk. And the cop goes, he just said, can I see your pilot's license i was like fuck like uh sir i'm still in classes i don't have my pilot's license yet when he when he i was so drunk i i had i probably drank 20 beers that night and i had beer bong 10 of them mickey's big mouths and my buddy who was in the car he said uh when the cop went back the cops he kind of see your driver or pilot's license

then he went back to his car my buddy goes hey dude don't worry my dad will come get us from jail we didn't go hey he took me out of the car and i did the test like i know i've told this story probably 20 times on the show where you got you had to stand on one i just remembered this part you had to stand on one leg and count to 30 and i counted to 10 three times and as i was doing that i'm like you are a fucking idiot you're so drunk you like can see yourself yes yes yes and he's like okay but you just can't stop yourself you're just like i'm sober as fuck i um uh uh another time i i had turned my windshield wiper fluid off to the side so when i drove by people i could pull the handle and it would like shoot a beam and squirt them

and i squirt them. And I squirted a highway patrol officer on the side of the road who was wheeling a traffic accident. Oh, shit. Dude, that was like 10 cars surrounded me. That dude opened my car, walked up to my car door when he caught me. I probably sped off doing 100 and tried to get off at an off-ramp and he got on his motorcycle and caught me. Holy shit.

He opened my car door and slammed it probably 10 times when he pulled me over. I'm just sitting there like this. Hello, Ossifer. He's like, hey dude, this is a brand new suit. If you sprayed anything fucked up on here, I'm going to fucking murder you or something like that. Damn.

He really had it out for you. Yeah. They never figured out that that thing was turned to the side. He didn't know how I sprayed him. They never figured it out. You didn't have a bottle in there or anything no cops came from everywhere hey you know i think it was actually fortuitous that he called all those cops it was by a um truck way station because maybe if it would have just been me and him he'd have kicked the shit out of me oh for sure and then everybody else would have showed up and like what happened he's

like trying to assault me uh jake chapman it was way before cameras fun funny funny enough i got squirted on by a policewoman once was it in the back seat of her car hey they oh they they basically they had me get out of the car they opened the the hood they looked all the cops were looking in at the engine they opened my trunk they basically emptied my it was a 77 volkswagen rabbit they basically just emptied it out he gave me a ticket for littering that's what i ended up getting the ticket for littering even though it was water and i fought it in court and he showed up he did and while i was sitting there while i was sitting there yeah even though it was water while i was sitting there i heard him the other cop being like dude why did you give him a littering ticket so i didn't know what else

to give it to him for i heard them saying that i told the judge that just wanted to cite him for something and um and uh so i are i argued i brought i brought i brought some i went to some i found some books and it said that basically you could throw chicken feathers on the highway or water on the highway as long as it didn't obscure traffic. And that wasn't considered littering. Those were two things that like passed, like water that would drop from like your air conditioner. And so I fought, I fought the ticket. I can't remember how much the ticket was. It was expensive.

It was like, it was expensive. And, uh, I want to say it was in the thousands, like thirteen hundred bucks or something. And so I fought it and we went back and forth and I told the judge, I'm like, hey, I guess water came out from my windshield wiper fluid as I was going by him. I was putting in my car stereo. I must have hit the windshield wiper fluid. I squirted him. And and I'm like and I heard him say just now that, you know, he didn't know what to give me the ticket for. So she says, Hey, I'm going to, uh, I'm going to, um, have to decide this later. I can't decide this now. You'll get your answer in the mail.

So I got my answer in the mail and the ticket was for, uh, ended up being for 35 bucks or something. It got way reduced, but I was still pissed. Really? Even though i was the punk kid yeah so i went back to court and tried to fight it that's the reason they send you the the result rather than doing it in court so you can't find them there yeah so then i go back to court and i try to fight it and she tells me i can't and i called her roseanne bar because she was just this fat ugly lady jeez i know and then really quickly i left out like a side exit but you still had to pay the

35 yeah i did i gotta in hindsight i should have just paid the fucking 1300 bucks what a waste i was caught pissing in an alley behind bins at around 4 a.m by police once is that indecent exposure i don't know in california that could get really fucking weird for you though peeing in public can get really weird you could get a sex you could get put on like a sex offenders list i think yeah that's. You'd be fucked up for life after that. Instead of giving me a warning or public urination, fine. They tried to get me done for indecent exposure.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Behind a trash can though? Come on. I was at a, I was at a party one time and I was with a buddy. I was probably 18 years old. I legitimately was five, five then for sure.

And my buddy was six, four. And it was, and we had to take a piss. We were at a party. So we both went back to the, the behind the house and there was a dumpster back there. It was really fucking dark

so we start peeing and i feel like just my back of my shirt and my pants and everything getting just soaking wet and i turn around and homeboy It was my friend with the giant cock. Oh, yeah. That I've talked about. Mm-hmm. And he just urinated all over me, unloaded a full tank on me. What? He didn't see me. Drunk, dark, and short. Oh, my God.

I know. It sucked. That's fucked up. It sucked. It was a great party. He just got fucking urinated on. I got R. Kelly'd. Just ruined it. R. Kelly'd. fucked up it sucked it was a great party he just got fucking urinated on i got r kelly just ruined it come on man there was this uh there was a show where there was a show that caleb and i did where

i was talking about fluoride and i think i was talking about the history of fluoride. We're talking about how it was a byproduct from some manufacturing plant or some manufacturing process. I think something having to do with steel. And so they had been dumping the fluoride into rivers and streams, and it was just fucking killing everything in the rivers and streams. And so they were like, hey, man, what can we do with this besides put it into rivers and streams? And so basically they figured out that it strengthens enamel, so they figured out a way to start using it and making toothpaste. And I guess Tyson Bajent heard that show.

So then he came on, and he's like, hey, what were you saying about fluoride being bad and i had forgotten i had already fucking you know my memory i'd already i can only store like so much in there that little fucking peanut of mine and so i guess i'd hit the reset switch on that and so after he said that to me i'm like man i don't want to get caught off guard so i just started researching the fuck out of fluoride and uh in that researching process i'm like it was at the same time that i had remembered that my mom and my sister had always told me that they use baking soda to brush their teeth and i'd already always noticed how nice their teeth are so and they both eat clean so i i'm like hey i'm gonna'm going to just make my own toothpaste. And you know what I'm going to do?

I have this friend, Dale King, who is an entrepreneur and a hard worker and just obsessed with making shit, right? So I'm going to tell him, and then he'll make the toothpaste, the tooth powder, and I'll just buy it. So I tell him all about it, and he makes some samples, and then he tells me where he gets the ingredients and we go back and forth. I'm like, no, you should get the ingredients from here. Oh, this tastes good. And he sends me pictures of his his crew doing taste tests, taste tests. We talk about what kind of containers we want it in. I'm like, can't be in plastic no matter what. And we just go back and forth, back and forth. And then he has a product. And I'm like and then and then I'm like, great, you can just run with it.

It's yours. I don't want anything to do with it, but I'll just buy it. You just make the tooth powder, and I'll buy it. It's yours. I hope you get rich as shit. I'll help you sell it, right? But now I have a tooth powder, and he goes, no, no, dude. It's yours.

I'm like, no, dude, you did all the work. I just had the idea. He's like, no, no, it's yours i'm like no dude you did all the work i just had the idea he's like no no it's yours then someone in the comments came up with the idea the name matuthian do we know who named it i have no idea but it was someone here in the comments i know i didn't come up with that name yeah it was definitely somebody in the comments they were just like how they normally do like spitballing a bunch of words like blow bart blow bart show bart one of those types so once so one of you guys named it and um and then uh uh dale sent me oh it's your it's me pay me royalty is it really you heidi you named it matian? I wouldn't be surprised. KCindy, I just bought my first tube of fluoride-free toothpaste because of you.

Nice. Good job. So anyway, Heidi names it, and then Dale sends over a one-page agreement. It's like nothing. It's just like, you know, I don't even want to say it's a contract. He's like, hey, does this look good? And I'm just like, I don't know. Sousa, does this look good?

Sousa's like, yeah, this is fine. And no, not really me. Shit. You can take credit anyway. I would love to know who came up with that. I wonder if they even know. I helped name it. I helped name it too who came up with that. I wonder if they even know. I helped name it. I helped name it too. Say Vaughn.

So. But it's so funny because people would. So that's it. That's the story of Matuthion. And now every single day in my fucking DMms every single day i get at least one person saying holy shit dude you're right this is the best shit ever i'm like yeah so do you like the peppermint or the natural i like both i don't even care. What's other crazy is people will say it's salty. I don't even taste the salt anymore.

I tried to taste the salt, and I can't even taste the salt anymore. Hmm. Yeah, I like both. Absolutely. I don't even care. Braylon, you already said... Braylon, you don't... $20 for baking soda.

Braylon, you don't even have to worry about it, buddy. Don't even worry about it because you already said that your dentist said it's not a good idea. You go run with that, buddy. You do that, Braylon. That's cool. No worries.

Yeah, you run with that. Don't even worry about it. $26 with shipping. One out of 10 dentists recommend it. I told a couple of my friends, I remember the other day when I was going off and I was tripping on, um, uh, I just don't think that the, I just don't think that I think that the agents in our space are just absolutely horrible. I was just looking at all of their clients and just how shitty their followings are. And I'm thinking to myself,

what are they doing for these people? Great question. And I shared it with two friends and they weren't even impressed with my monologue. They're like, whatever, whatever. Or it's that person's fault. I'm like, it's not whether it's that person's fault or not if you're hanging out with people if you have millions of Instagram followers and you're in the space and you're not promoting

everyone around you everyone you can all your friends if you belong to that like if you're an agent you belong to lab management and you have uh, clients that have less than a hundred thousand followers, how, how could that be? Absolutely. Especially if they're like top games athletes. Yeah. If you go to the, if you go to the games and you have an agent, listen to this. I want to tell you this. And I mean this with peace and love. Not really, not this. Nevermind. Strike down from record. I mean, this was zero humility. Not a single Not this. Never mind. Strike down from the record. I mean this with zero humility. Not a single agent has ever reached out to this show that I can remember. Oh, that's not true. That's not true.

That's not true. Patrick Clark's reached out and been like, hey, do you want to have this person on? And I had them on. Okay. One person. Yeah. How many agents are there in the CrossFit space? Like 30?

Matter of fact, it's the other way. Agents have told people not to come on this show. It's like they're stunting the growth of their own athletes. Yeah, and it sucks that it's my show because then it sounds like it's just totally self-serving. But I say this with 100% honesty. Strike me down, God, now. I don't care

zero i have zero ego in it i don't care i just mean from the sake of just like i'm watching the athletes that do come on this show and what it does for them and i I just don't even. I don't understand. I don't understand. A matter of fact. Agents will call everyone on this show. Who works on this show. Except for me. It's not hard to contact you either.

Like you're going to poach Sousa. Or poach Taylor. Or poach Caleb you either like like like you're gonna poach suza or poach taylor or poach caleb or like somehow like you you call everyone but me no i'm not even talking about anyone in specific i'm not talking about cooper marsh although he's never called me or or tried to have a relationship or anything with me i just don't get it the athletes are doing more for themselves than their agents are it seems like the athletes are they're doing their own marketing stuff they're trying like i don't know yeah well for sure well yes for sure but but also like why wouldn't you um uh i don't know who hayley adams agent is but he didn't he didn't reach out to hiller but now people will reach out to hiller maybe sure i don't know actually Haley Adams agent is, but he didn't, he didn't reach out to Hiller, but now people will reach out to Hiller.

Maybe. I don't know. Actually, I should ask him that. I wonder if, I wonder if any agents have been like, Hey, would you do a piece with my guy? But how would you get a percentage of something if an athlete came on the show? Yeah.

It's just not about the show itself. It's about everything that comes after that yeah she's obviously being i know i'm just yeah yeah adding to the facetiousness right right exactly um you know the same the same agent who asked if one of their people could come on the show or a few of them and they have come on the show, also followed up with a thank you. Really? Yeah, they followed up with a thank you.

Oh, that was nice of them. I'm trying to think who – and I just hate to say this because please know I'm not asking for this at all. This is just a critique just from being the greatest chief marketing officer who ever lived. This is just a critique from me. I say this with peace and love and some humility and some no humility. Imagine whoever Colton Merton's agent is and never reached out. It's like someone in the CrossFit space the other day called my mom's gym and paid for her fucking membership for a year. What? Yes.

They found out what gym my mom goes to. They called it. And do you think that I thanked that person? You think I called? Yes. Of course. Absolutely, dude. You think I called and thanked that person i don't mean i don't know who colton's agent is by the way either so i don't mean to pick on them but colton's just like this this this the shining example dude that's crazy

and those of you athletes who are out there, if your agent is rude to me, it falls on you too, just so you know. I stay away from you. It's like, I stay away from you. I'm just like, okay, well, I guess that's not... But it just doesn't seem hospitable to me. I'm just like, oh, okay, whoa, all right.

Fine. Fine. Yeah. Then it's on the athlete to rectify the relationship with you or whoever it is. Right. I have this perspective now that anyone who thinks in any way that what Pedro does or what I do or what Hiller does or what Bill Grundler, anyone who has a show out there, just any show, even Sporty Beth, if any of you think that anything, like even her saying CrossFit sucks, if any of you think, I don't think there's a single agent out there

doing better for the athletes than the outside media, not even close. I don't respect anyone's a single agent out there doing better for the athletes than than the outside media. Not even close. I don't I don't respect anyone's opinion who talks any shit about us anymore, because in the context of it being relative to what other people are doing for the athletes, it's like, just shut the fuck up. You're not doing anything. You you truly relative to what you contribute and what you take and what you offer, you're a leech. You're losing opportunities for your own athlete. Yeah. Just fucking fascinating to me. Ladies, find you someone that loves you as much as Sevan loves Sevan. Peace and love.

Yeah. Listen, if you are with someone and they don't love themselves run for the fucking hills if you are with someone who doesn't love themselves run for the fucking hills then you got to make up for all that love and that's exhausting you're fucking you nailed it david david cheats though because he's in my head and so he can see how much i love myself he's looking around he's like wow there's a lot of i'm just david just like david's all david wakes up to this morning every morning in my head that's the sound of me patting my own back god i wish i could do that i can't do that

so this next best thing is just give yourself a standee every morning i'm going on kaliba's podcast today at 10 30 i don't know if it's live. Can we see if it's live? Can we go to his channel and see if he has it, if he has it scheduled. I was showering and I was trying to think like, um, you know, that term when someone says they're on all unapologetic, unapologetically you. Yeah. I don't know if I should be unapologetically me on the show. You don't think so? I don't know. I was, I was trying to, I was trying to, I was trying to figure it out. You know,

there's, there's people like Heidi. She comes to mind immediately that like their response to what I says has, has molded. Uh, my approach to saying things. And, um, Oh, is it on there on there uh i don't think so oh live with uh oh no doesn't look like he does a lot oh i'm going on that dude gabe let me that dude

gabe is going to be on the show too oh cool that's like his co-host isn't it yeah maybe i'll call jason right now and find out if I haven't seen that show have you seen that show I didn't realize I didn't realize they had done so many yeah I didn't know that either um let me see. I think that's it. I can't hear it ringing. I can't either. Shit. Hello? either. Shit.

Hello? Yeah. Hey. Who's this? Sevan. Sevan? What's up, man? I didn't recognize the number. Yeah, I know.

I'm calling from my work phone. Oh, you have a work phone. All right. What's going on? Hey, we're live on the air, and I was just trying to tell the people that I was going on your podcast today. Is that podcast live? No, that one's pre-recorded. It'll be like a, we'll probably release it like in two weeks. Do you have to pre-record it? Cause it's me and I might say some crazy shit.

No, not because you're going to say crazy shit. I mean, you probably will say some crazy shit, but we have to pre-record it because, uh, that's just the way we do it, man. We don't do the whole live, uh, live, you know, I love the way you guys do it, but no, we don't do that. Okay. Because we also edit it, like we put music on it and we like do whatever. Okay. So I'll see you at 10.30 a.m. this morning. It's 10.

At what time? 10 a.m. Let me see. Okay. 10. Oh, at 10. Oh, even better. I owe you a StreamYard link before that.

Okay. So at 10 a.m. Yeah, tell all your listeners I said what's up. Okay, awesome. All right, thanks, dude. See you then. All right. Bye. Bye.

I wonder if we're the first people. He had that voice where that was the first time he had talked today. Yes, I was thinking the same thing. He seemed like he had either just w i was thinking the same thing he he seemed like he had either just woken up or like hadn't had his coffee yet yeah i bet you i bet you he's been up for like a couple hours but he probably that's the first time he's like uttered something yeah you're probably right probably the most subdued i've heard him which is like nothing so do i sometimes when I when I talk about parenting or homeschooling or shit like that I know I'm

turning people off to it because I hear Heidi's voice in my head being like yo motherfucker I gotta fucking work we're trying yeah and it's like and I, and so, and I respect that when she says that shit or when I'm like, I don't know, fuck divorce. And she's like, yeah, you get beat up by your husband. How do you like that? And I'm like, all right, fuck. So I, part of me, like it's, it's my approach, but like those things that she says to me doesn't fall on deaf ears. I'm like, fuck, like, I don't got got any, like I don't got any solution for her. Right.

Good job fucking leaving that douchebag or good job. Like, but really I want to be like, fuck yeah, good job girl working your ass off to raise your kid. So I don't know. Oh, it's my tone. Vindicate says it's my tone. You're probably right. It's not, it's not, it's not. I'm going to give the parenting advice i just need to

i don't want to turn the goal the goal is to open the doorway um of possibilities for people not um not close it not close i don't want people to be like fuck that guy he doesn't have any he's not in touch with reality um I want people to be like okay I see that and I like that what can I do to get it to work you really just want to throw enough a bunch of ideas out there

you can take it or leave it do whatever you want with it like you just give somebody some sort of possibility and then they'll try it out or not try it out and determine whether it fits for their life. You know? So yeah, like Heidi said, it's an open discussion. Yeah. Yeah. I totally, uh, and Heidi, that wasn't a dig at you either. You're always cool, but you just throw these wrenches in my,

in my like a pristine world of how I think everything should be. And your wrenches are completely valid is what I'm saying like fuck you just bring your kid home take him out of school and just hang out with him all day you're like uh but I pick up garbage for a living I ride on the back of a pickup truck and load garbage what am I supposed to do with my kid the city won't

let me bring him to work and it's like oh shit baby carrier yeah I don't have a solution for that yeah it's not a one-size-fits-all i um i don't know if i should tell the story because i was going to save it for jason's podcast but i'll start at the end of it yesterday was an amazing day one of the best days of my life top 10 best days of my life. Fucking unbelievable. That good, huh?

Dude. It was so good. It was crazy. I went and saw Godzilla vs. King Kong yesterday. Really? Yeah. What'd you think? I cried four times.

In King Kong? Godzilla vs. King Kong That's like Dude there's a scene He lives in an underworld So there's two worlds Do you know the premise of the movie? I could guess but

There's two worlds There's an underworld that's under us Like the lost world of Atlantis Under the crust of the earth kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. But there's sun and shit there. I don't know how, but you just have to just, I guess. And, and, and then there's the above world and the humans keep Godzilla with us and we keep King Kong down there.

We keep them there. Okay. And the reason why is if they come together they fight right and then just end of the world yeah yep and godzilla's fucks a lot of human shit up but we accept him because he destroys like other fucked up shit too you know what i mean like he could if there was like a nuclear radiation leak at a plant he could just go over to it and suck all the radiation up like he could do everything he's like the world's greatest lizard and king kong in the very beginning of the movie has a up tooth okay like just like it's

like rotting because it's infected yeah it's causing him pain like they show him try to eat something and he can't so he goes through so he finds the portal and he goes up and and tries to find a dentist yes yes and he falls he comes up the portal the portal's like in hawaii right it's like of course it's like hey and it's a it's a it's a whirlpool and he comes up it and then he lays on the beach in pain dang okay and i just started crying i just felt bad for him like tears were rolling down my face okay i respect it man cgi monkey cgi monkey made me cry man you know you got to make the make a trip and you're in some it's like a it's like a psychological warfare you know it's hard to be a monkey living amongst yourself and nobody wants to help you

and you're just stuck under the crust of the earth and he is so that's his that's his story too there's no other monkeys down there and he wants to fuck so bad and there's and he's alone down there they talk about that in the movie i mean they don't say he wants to fuck but but you know that's what it is he just he lives in wet dreams all the time And you're just like fuck this sucks I just want a mate Alright I respect it There's a scene Where he thinks he hears Like a female King Kong

And he Jumps through trees and goes to the edge of this cliff And he looks down and it's just a toad Making these sounds With it's whatever that That thing is Di diaphragm or whatever yeah that's sad does it get sad does it like look visibly oh dude it's it's too much oh my god it's too much so so so i see that movie and um the best but the best part of the movie is godzilla it's i don't know why but there's

this thing godzilla does before he attacks and he charged it's like a video game he charges up so if he needs like five seconds before he fires this thing you know i'm talking about right yeah he he like gets it like an orb of energy in his in his like chest or whatever and it starts to like light up and then yeah and his whole spine lights up one vertebrae at a time and then it comes to his head and when he's really fired up the shit's like coming out of his eyes and the audio is fucking wild and then and then you know at that point whatever fucking he points his mouth at toast toast. Dead. Yep. Dead.

Shit's running everywhere. He's chopping pyramids in half like it's fucking – Whoa. You're toast. So that part of the movie is cool. There were two parts of the movie that just over and over that are cool. Every time Godzilla shoots, he has to do that thing where he fires up. And then when King Kong roars, the whole movie screen is his face.

Whoa. Yeah, and that thing's cool. Kind of like shakes the room kind of thing? Yeah. It's dope. But anyway, so I don't think I saw any DEI stuff in that movie. There wasn't like a trans King Kong? No, now that I think about it, there was no, Roadhouse is DEI'd the fucking back.

Like you can tell their hiring process, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fucking crazy. So, or maybe I'm just like that black chick who just thinks because I've been programmed, maybe I'm just been programmed to see DEI. Maybe. You know what I mean? Like she's just programmed that if a cop pulls her over for having her lights off at night

and that's like the number one correlate that someone's drunk or retarded. So they pull you over, but, but because she's been programmed. Roadhouse made you cry? Get the fuck she's been programmed roadhouse made you cry the fuck out of here what scene made you cry there maybe the the library burning down i don't know oh oh i could see that hey when i watched on amazon when you pause it it shows you all the um actresses and actors that are in that scene right i've never seen that before and the chick who played uh the the kid who the library kid that chick was hot she didn't look so hot in the movie but in her little picture she was hot really

yeah that's cool dude i want to come back to why yesterday is my best day but yesterday at 10 o'clock at night i I started watching P Diddy videos. Okay. Have you watched P Diddy? Like just all the news stories that are on the internet. I started just watching one right after another. First of all, are those, can you just have CGI just make you a news video? I started thinking like, holy shit, this is just CG or not CGI.

This is just AI. These are just AI videos. They call them Tupac, and they can't say Dre's name right. There's words they can't say. Yeah. I think that's very possible. Sure. Yeah, I watched a bunch of the Cat Williams stuff.

But here's basically the – here's what I – I can't tell exactly what Diddy did. So I was watching with my wife. He basically – the premise is this. He likes mixing cocaine. So he has video cameras in all his rooms. Well, so what? I heard that's what all the agents tell all the pro athletes to do, videotape all your sex acts with everyone. So that way if you get charged

with um uh forcing them you have proof you can be like look it was consensual right that makes sense and so when they're like he had cameras in all the rooms of his mansions i'm like so what i think most people in general these days are doing that just have cameras all over their house i used to i don't anymore but um uh uh and and i remember greg used to have a house uh in um when he uh when he when him he had fucking four four kids he had like three babies so he had cameras in his room so that like if the babies cried you could run in there you know what i mean see what they're doing or like look on the thing um his camera situation was weird though he had cameras but all you could go in the garage at any time and see what was going on on all the cameras but then you could also walk up like any stranger could walk up to his garage door and look in one

of those windows and see what was going on in all the rooms oh i know this shit didn't make any sense it's probably very poorly laid out yeah Yeah, but here's the thing. Sex trafficking and sexual. Yeah, like I couldn't find it. I watched so many and they're just telling me he did sex trafficking. Listen, OK, if I pay you, Caleb, if I say to you, I'm going to give you a million dollars a year. And I want you to fuck me when I want to. And I want you to fuck my friends when I want you to.

So that's one of the things he's being accused of. Now, I get how maybe that's illegal, like prostitution is illegal. Right. But it's not – you're an adult. You're taking the money. That's true. You are making the decision to do that. Yeah, I don't see.

I pay the fine or whatever and then move on. He's being accused of giving girls coke and ecstasy and then fucking them. He's being accused of giving guys coke and ecstasy and then fucking them. And I look to my wife. I'm like, dude, that is happening right now in some fucking college campus 24 hours a day yeah i'm the ugliest guy in the world that i knew in college fucked like all the hottest chicks and after about two years i figured out why because he was giving him drugs he was the coke dealer right

uh there's no fine it's highly illegal jail time highly illegal to pay someone for sex dude you could go to tommy g's account you see people getting paid for sex left right and center all over the fucking united states every it's happening right now on every fucking street corner in every fucking major metropolis. Speaking of Tommy G, that didn't happen to Tommy G, but did you hear about the YouTuber that was trying to meet up with a mob boss in Haiti

and got kidnapped for like two weeks? No shit. Yeah, my wife told me about it and I was like, holy shit, was it Tommy G? I know cocaine's illegal. I guess I'm having trouble choosing. There's a big difference between sex trafficking and doing coke with girls and having sex.

Okay. So what if he wanted to fuck 50 cent in the ass like i like i like i don't care like i i still don't i don't know what he they haven't said anything to me like okay cocaine's illegal fine get him for that um um uh you can't tell someone maybe you can't tell someone like hey you can't tell someone like, hey, if you don't fuck me, I'm going to fire you. Okay, get him for that. I just don't – I haven't seen any of the – like there's this one chick he was with, and supposedly he was always having her have sex with his friends so he could watch. At what point does it fall on her? at what point does it fall on her?

I just don't, I don't, there was never like he beat this person. He kidnapped this person. He, I just don't. They're painting him as this monster and he just sounds like a fucking rich guy with a lot of money and on a lot of drugs. And I just,

I fucking like that's happening just fucking everywhere on a small scale and every fucking college campus in this fucking country. I said, Sevan, are you his attorney? No, not. I just want to know what he did. I'm just trying to figure out what he did that was so fucking bad. Yeah. Well, he's a monster. You don't know about it yet oh yeah maybe they're not releasing some of the stuff but at what point does the responsibility land on everybody else involved in this

and the whole thing right your understanding is falling short of the complexity of the issues please explain it to me i can help you unlock it great i imagine hey i bet you um i bet you no bill cosby was giving people junk drugs unwittingly and fucking them bill cosby was slipping drugs into people's drinks and fucking them could be a similar case i guess but underage girls were allegedly involved uh i the only person that i heard that was underage i think was uh a guy which is which is still not okay but the only one i watched like six videos on yesterday and this 17 year old guy i don't know if it was usher or meek mills and of course they allude to the fact that he fucked bieber in the ass too but like

have you seen those Bieber tapes lately no he looks like he just got he just got fucked up like what do you mean like if I see like somebody was like diddling him as a kid and like they were just abusing him or something I don't know he's

like if you see videos of like videos of him now like it's oh we started talking about how he's he's like trying to um keep billy eilish from having the same issues because like he would he was like 14 at the time and kid there were grown adults at award events just like groping him and i don't think it's all been revealed yet. Yeah, maybe, maybe or maybe not, but I've heard nothing so far that I'm like...

I've heard nothing so far that's like, hey, it's just spin to me. It's just spin. I feel like we could find a thousand people to say this about, a million people. Clive, I guess maybe the suggestion is these girls maybe are entrapped or addicted or owe a debt or live in fear yeah all of that you're right but i get it you haven't heard any proof of that i mean shit the people around him

that die is crazy too don't get me wrong the stories are all fucking wild i mean his fucking wife died or the or the mother of his kids died. Kim Porter. At 47. I mean, that's weird shit. Wow. Seve, the government wouldn't be going after him if they didn't have a legit case. I think that's gotta be a joke, right?

That's gotta be a joke, right? That's got to be a joke, right? Oh, what is this? And by the way, I started watching the news stories and I started being like, whoa, these are just completely made by AI. And that made me even hate it more like this is just all um some somehow there's there's some software out there now and uh that just puts in all the b-roll for you you just write the script and it's it's putting together the whole b-roll for you it's doing the voice and everything I feel like this is the tip of the iceberg maybe maybe but we've been saying that

about everyone for so long right Slicky I think he was on the Epstein list too allegedly there was a murder cover up he was involved in at his studio allegedly yeah a bunch man they were talking about all sorts of murders and shit and people dying and then there's this this is the is this blood aden chrome that's the blood they drink

uh it's a chemical compound produced by the oxidation of adrenaline epinephrine yeah i guess um uh did he come out and support a trump that would make sense why they're coming after him that too what's crazy too is um so i saw all those videos all those videos and the more i saw the less i was convinced the less i was convinced it started like creeping me out right i went from this guy's fucked to, oh, like this guy's fucked for a different reason. Someone's coming after him and making some of this shit up. And then the most convincing thing is the Cat Williams interview. But it's just an interview. But then the videos start really then while I'm watching these videos, I'm watching more videos come out.

And one just came out as I was watching these. And it was about how Beyonce has left Jay-Z because of Jay-Z's involvement with P. Diddy but then I quickly went on the news to look and yesterday Diddy was hanging out in Miami someone saw him at a restaurant he was hanging out with

fans and riding his bike around Miami and Jay-Z is in Croatia with Beyonce and people see them there like swimming off their 50 foot yacht and And Jay-Z is in Croatia with Beyonce. And people see them there like swimming off their 50-foot yacht. One of these videos I'm watching that are talking shit about Diddy are basically saying Beyonce and Jay-Z are divorced. It's like, fuck, I don't know what the fuck to believe. Are you really defending Diddy or just upset at the lack of info in the media in general?

Those are my choices. Can I get a third choice or can I get another or? I'd be upset with the lack of info. Similar to the trans day of hey dude whatever there was there was people there have been and are people who say shit about me in this community that's fucking

absolutely batshit crazy and so I'm sensitive to it like show me the fuck I'm sensitive to it like shit that like. I can't even fucking believe. So here's the thing. When when these magazines and these newspapers are going around calling people, there's this is how this is how they this is how they call you.

You get a call from The New York Times and they say, hey, this is so and so from The New York Times. And oh, maybe I even have a clip of it. Maybe I even have a clip of it. Let me show you this. Fuck, I don't have it. Damn. Yesterday's story came out. It was a call.

It was a call. I think it was yesterday. Is March Madness happening? Yes. Oh, it's March. Is March Madness happening? woman that's how they opened it there were people from fucking newspapers and magazines calling around saying hey we this this is what we heard that savon was doing or this is what we heard greg was doing and that's how they would open it looking for someone to corroborate the story there was someone else in the space who fucking got an attorney and was like looking for people

who wanted to join some sort of like fucking class action case. They never found anyone. There's nothing to find. And so when I see all of this, I'm just like, hey, I just need to see like I need to see or hear something legit. For me, for 50 Cent being like, yeah, Diddy told me he wanted to take me shopping so he could fuck me. I'm like, dude, every minute of every day, there's a guy doing that to a woman somewhere or to another man in the United States. The Kim Mulcahy, yeah, these fucking pieces of shit. The LSU coach, let me see what's the articles. Let me see the top.

What's it say? The LSU coach holds grudges, battles everyone, and keeps winning, but at what cost? Yeah, this guy, Kent Babb. Complete piece of shit it wasn't even really a hit piece against her either like actually it's just like a biography about her they're probably terrified she's gonna sue them into fucking oblivion yeah maybe they changed it but i read through this yesterday and maybe there's one part about her and britney griner

not getting along when she was at baylor but good that but like it wasn't even that's points good for her who no one should get along with britney griner she's a fucking drug addict fucking uh bigot fucking commie and that's nice she was just the only thing that she said was basically keep everything behind closed doors like you don't need to express to everybody your relationship status or who you're who you're fucking or like what genitalia you like it was just about it was just say hey we're here to play basketball we're not here to talk about what's who you like uh no i'm not i'm not triggered uh uh okay now being triggered by diddy makes sense i'm not triggered. Okay, now being triggered by Diddy makes sense.

I'm not triggered by it. I don't want to fall asleep at the wheel. I don't want to fall asleep at the wheel. I don't want to be programmed. I don't want to be programmed by fucking AI videos on YouTube. Yeah. Same. New York Magazine just ran a hit piece on Andrew Huberman like that.

Exactly. True. So. Hey. Can you pull up Tim Murray's Instagram? Holy shit, an hour has gone by? My goodness. Hey, and we talked about Diddy for 20 minutes, and not one person gave me anything in the fucking comments. That's my point. I would say back to Ms. Mansour, Are you saying Diddy's guilty based on... Okay, let me see his most recent post. Oh, the one with the dumbbell.

Hi, Tim Tater Murray, I'm asking you to stop by New Porky Fitness on Wednesday at 8.15 p.m. and I'll be going live... Oh, there we go. Wow. Tim Tater Murray. I'm asking you to stop by new Cove CrossFit and new poor port key fitness. Wow. That's a tough name for a gym.

I think it's Newport Kentucky fitness. Oh, okay. I just dropped the T and call it new porky fitness. Okay. On Wednesday at 8 1515 p.m., I'll be going live on the Real Sevan podcast with Sevan Matosian at 8.30 p.m. for a pre-show to the 100 Burpee Over Bar Challenge I'm participating in against Colton Mertens and Jake Berman. I will go off at 8.45,

knowing how fast the other two did theirs during their burpee off on the barbell spin at 7.30 p.m. I don't know if those times are right, but we'll see. I'm finally given a chance to show the world what the adaptive community can do when going up against able-bodied counterparts. Hopefully, I don't make an embarrassment of our group so that more of these opportunities open for us. You're not going to make any more embarrassing embarrassment of yourself than listening to me read. Please, Cincinnati, let's show the world how we support one of our own.

When the deck is stacked against us. Let me see these comments. God. This is going to be good. Is that your two dollars to watch the show? Jason. Jason. Listen.

This show is not free. If you're going to watch that show. You need to bring a dollar. Did you see him doing the. you can see him actually doing over-the-bar burpees in one of these posts. So here's the deal, by the way. Oh, yeah, here it is. Yeah, look at this. I'm going to be honest.

I was a little worried, but this makes me feel a lot better. Yeah, right? I would be dizzy, dude. He's going in a circle. Is that the way you're supposed to do it? Go in a circle, or are you supposed to go back and forth? I go back and forth because I get dizzy as fuck. Oh, shit.

Kenneth, good point. Hold on a second. Breaking news. Last day to sign up for Paper Street subscription and get two free bags of coffee. Oh, today is the last day? I thought that was last night. Yeah, I thought that was yesterday, too. Paulina said Sunday night, so.

Look at, a dollar. This dollar will not go towards your watching of the show, but I appreciate you testing out your dollar. Everyone donate a dollar now just to test out their ability to donate. So. So. So On the barbell spin YouTube channel At 430

You'll watch Jake Berman and Colton go They might not go until 445 order But you want to tune in at 430 And then when that shows over Even if it's not over at 530, we're going to fire up the Sevan podcast. And then at 545, our boy is going to go Tim Murray. It wouldn't let me donate hogwash.

Oh, fuck it, Kenneth. Oh, paper street coffee. Fuck it. You're right. Paulina, make it an extra, fuck it, Kenneth. Oh, Paper Street Coffee. Fuck it. You're right, Paulina. Make it an extra day. Here we go. Mary, there you go. Mary, with that dollar, are you defending Tim Murray or...

Are you trying to buy sex from Tim Murray with that pound? Or... Two options. Yes. Or... Nice, Caleb. Thanks. Okay, so you can go over to Paper Street Coffee right now. And you better do it now.

Well, not now. Wait till the show is over. But go to Paper Street Coffee. Or just open another window. And you order coffee. If you get a subscription, you get two free bags of coffee. That seems like a no-brainer. Oh, Tim's on Eastern time in his post okay so he's going to an affiliate to do it god i hope i hope that there's not too many people there with their phones and cameras on and shit maybe we're gonna

have to yell at people and be like hey turn your shit off yeah so so that so that we can see them good. It'll be sick. Lupe, and newspapers calling people to corroborate or not whatever word you said is kind of to be expected, or should they waste time small-talking when seeking information? No, they should do journalism. You don't plant the idea. I don't go – no, sorry, maybe I didn't explain it well. You don't taint the witness. You don't lie to them in order to get information. Open-ended questions. Yeah.

A major fucking magazine, a major international magazine called two different CrossFitters and said something along the lines of, at least two that I know of, and said something along the lines of, hey, Sevan has sex of you two having sex. Sevan has sex, has video of you two having sex. someone has sex has video of you two having sex when there was fucking absolutely not even anything remotely true to that i've never filmed anyone having sex not even myself in my entire life and i'd never seen those two people have sex those two people have sex. And it's like, you don't do that.

That's not how you start questioning. You'll buy, oh, you'll buy the tape? Okay, fine. Text me, DM me on the site. I'll send it to you. A million dollars. It's fucking crazy. Basically, Sevan is secretly approved.

I'm not even secretly approved. I'm openly approved. I was really disappointed the other day. I was sitting on the couch just chilling, stretched out, and I had socks on. My son like do you do you sleep with socks on i'm like no but i was like how does he not know that about me you've never you've never slept with socks on i mean it has to like it has to be like frigid. It's not even about it being cold. I have to have been walking around the house and my feet like for like three hours barefoot and my feet got cold and it has to be the winter.

You know, we don't have heated floors in my house. And so my floors can get really cold. And if my feet get cold, they'll take forever to heat back up again. So if that happens, if I suspect that's going to happen, I'll put socks on before I go to bed. I normally don't even wear any socks. But I just happen to have socks on because I didn't want my feet to get cold before I went to bed. And he said that I was like, oh, you don't sleep with any clothes on, not even boxers. Damn, that's crazy.

No way. I can't really. When I was a a kid my mom used to like encourage that hey just go to bed naked and i liked it but something but i don't wear tighty-whities when i go to bed no yeah like a short t-shirt but i wear tighty-whities the rest of the time does the shattuck enough heated floors fuck no dude we don't even have a fucking dishwasher the shattuckin doesn't even have floors dude dude it's concrete it's just a concrete slab we have no we have no oven we have no microwave we have no dishwasher what else we know my My husband sleeps naked. It's annoying. Annoying?

I prefer my wife sleep naked. Makes everything... Takes one step out of everything. Two steps. One or two steps out of everything. Yeah, and my wife used to sleep naked until she had kids. Yeah. Basically, once you have kids you gotta like you the chick has to like cover up the titties it's like just titties to kids are what pussy is to boys like if we just see it we just start like tracking towards it and kids just want to just just milk titties all day so you got to keep

them covered it's like having the refrigerator door open with just candy falling out of it. Just got to go in and grab a piece. The wife gets no sleep if her husband doesn't wear boxers to bed. I don't know. She gets no sleep anyway. She shouldn't. Thank you, Mary.

Caleb, you don't need a microwave. agree okay you're right you got a toaster oven and a blackstone uh zero clothes since became empty nester and it's below zero minnesota lots of night night cheap man's version of cold plunge i will say this i do really enjoy i guess could you walk around the shattuck and naked i mean once it's yeah once you have all the mosquito yeah i would hate like i would not i would not want to live in a house where the neighbors could see like i like we were in an airbnb when we uh were in scottsdaledale. All the neighbors around you could see into the house. Oh, yeah.

Our windows are huge, though. So if I had the blinds open, if I had any window open, anybody driving by would be able to see me naked for sure. Because it's like the whole front side of the house is just open. Do you have any neighbors that walk right up to a fence do you against your property and talk try to talk to you um well my in-laws do it because they're our actual neighbors but then we have people like across the street who will like walk by and like wave or stay high and shit like that we don't have a fence either it's just like open land all the way around also grinder

being a drug addict is new to me but we don't have to harp on details or is this going to be 420 podcast part two dms are open whenever if you're down uh i don't know what that means dms open but listen let me show you let me tell you the number one sign in the entire world that you're a drug addict right ready taking weed to Russia you're so addicted to marijuana that you took weed to Russia it's also a sign of being mentally retarded it's so dumb if you do that it's also a sign of how much of a stoner and drug addict you are

because it's impaired your thinking. Matt Burns wants your address so he can see you naked. Jason, what's up, dude? Thank you. Appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Wait, no sleeping naked. You squish your hog if you turn over nah my hog's my hog just rolls with it um seve are you are we are seven are we ever going to get a seven nutrition guide yes i will tell you now uh right before you go to sleep open up a fucking biggest bag of pistachios you can. Start eating them until you hate yourself. And then go to bed. It's the quickest way to ruin your self-esteem.

Mary knows. Eat a bag of nuts. Yeah. Fucking hate yourself. Okay, so I go to, I go see Godzillazilla and king kong and it was the 11 15 a.m showing oh man yeah and i told the boys already i was like hey i want to go play tennis with you guys in the morning and then we'll go and then they're like can we see

a movie after oh fuck i didn't tell i didn't tell you this other story So yesterday I wake up at 6 a.m. Feel free to judge me for this. I want to know if you guys think this is bad parenting. I wake up at 6 a.m. I load the family in the van at 7 a.m. Everyone, the mom, the wife, kids, tennis rackets, balls, everything except the dog. And we drive over the hill to San Jose. Fifteen minutes.

We get there. We're now at the tent. We're going to a tennis tournament that my kids are playing in. We get to the tournament an hour and a half before the tournament starts. You're supposed to get there a half hour before. We get there an hour and a half before. The reason we get there an hour and a half before is because Like I want everything to be just perfect

Right when I set up my chairs on to warm the Kids up on to be relaxed I want to get them fed and Watered I want everyone to drop a deuce all that Of course we find Out that the person that he's playing against Has dropped out of the tournament One of the kids so now the first Match is pushed up a half hour

So now They don't play for two hours. Then the tournament, there's no one at the tournament. I'm like, what the fuck's going on? Then I see a lady walk out from the, like the school, the high school it's at. And she walks over towards me and my wife's like, oh, that's the tournament director. She's really cool. I go, hi, ma'am. How are you? Do you need help setting up? And she goes, no, the courts are wet. We're pushing all the matches an hour and a half. no the courts are wet wet we're pushing all the matches an hour and a half oh so now i'm like oh i'm gonna be here for like three and a half hours before my kids even start playing so i just fucking put the kids in the car and i drove back home so i drove an hour to the tournament and i just drove an hour home through the windy hills and the on highway 17 through the mountains back into santa cruz and then their tennis coach is like hey i see i saw you pulled out of the tournament what's up i ain't sitting there for three hours two seven-year-olds and a nine-year-old so then i'm like hey guys we're gonna play tennis anyway so then i'm like hey we're gonna go play tennis and um when we get home they're like can we see a movie after and then i see that the movie

starts in a few minutes i'm like let's see the movie first so we go to the movie and when the movie gets out i'm fucking exhausted yeah of course i'm ready for bed it's it's it's 115 i'm ready to go to bed yeah you've already been a while yeah and and i look at my wife and she's like in and out of consciousness because we've been up probably the night whole night before watching diddy videos right Because we've been up probably the whole night before watching Diddy videos. Right. So I take a nap, 20 minute nap or I try to, but all the boys climb into bed with me and like are just like trying to pull beard hairs out and shit. So I get up and I take them and we go play tennis. And I played with my seven year old.

We play to we play to 11 points and whoever wins six games first so best out of 11 games and he beat me and it was the fucking best day of my life he uh he won six six games I won five games wow yeah I told him afterwards I said that's got to be one of the top 10 best days in my life and my mom had told me before i had kids she said hey you should really have kids and i go why she goes you're gonna want this experience you're really gonna want this experience and i'm like but you can't even imagine what she's talking about like because i didn't have kids how the fuck could i know but dude i was in fucking ecstasy bliss playing him we were at war at one point i saw it like i was winning like at one point like three games to one

and i saw he was gonna cry and i was just wanting to put the nail in the coffin you know what i mean i was ready i was just emotionally wanted to break him and he came back and beat me six games to five. And I was just, I know it's so fucking happy. We play this game called short court. It's like pickleball, but we play with regular balls.

And the reason why is, is if we played long court, um, first of all, I suck at it. And, uh, and I, and I think it'd just be harder for him cause he has to travel more of the

court. Right. Cause he's so little, they're so little still. Right. But, uh, man, I, I walked over to him i'm like hey dude top 10 best days of my life told my mom that too she goes i know i could see you over there i went to yeah it was cool it was fucking unbelievable and then we went home lived happily ever after what did i do last night oh so after that so so tennis is over and now it's a 4 30 and there's a fancy restaurant uh between even though we all look like shit not my

boys though because they always wear uh argyle vests so they look good but my mom's there my wife's there my kids are there and i'm there everyone's sweating a mess there's the fancy restaurant i'm like hey let's just go to the fancy restaurant and hang out and get a meal they're like okay so we go there and the restaurant's not open yet so there's all these people like pulling up and waiting around for their reservations and shit and this lady pulls up and she's got her dog with her and she gets out of her car and she's like and she has both her car doors open her passenger seat and her driver's seat and she's walking her little fucking dog around and then she walks around to her passenger seat to put the dog in the car and i hear this will you close my driver's side for me and i turn around i'm like me she goes yeah because she didn't want to she

didn't want to take the time to walk around and close her driver's side and then and then come back and put the dog she didn't want to close the passenger to walk around and close her driver's side and then come back and put the dog. She didn't want to close the passenger side, walk around and put the dog in the driver's side. So she was putting the dog in the passenger side and she wanted me to close the driver's side so when she unhitched the dog from the leash, it didn't run out of the car. Okay. Does that make sense? She's putting the dog in, but some stranger's like, hey, will you close my driver's side door? So I walk up to close the driver's side door and the the dog's in there, and he's laying on the driver's seat underneath a bunch of fucking COVID masks. Just nested himself underneath masks?

On top of masks. And I'm thinking to myself, this is classic fucking Santa Cruz. And I'm thinking to myself, this is classic fucking Santa Cruz. The lady's worried about fucking COVID, but she's perfectly okay with her dogs. It was one of those little dogs that has the hairy ass that every time it takes a shit, you know, it gets dingleberries. She's perfectly okay with this dog's dripping penis, butt, hair, all over her mask. You know she just like puts that mask on like no problem. Right.

And it's got dog shit on it yeah and she's just smelling that all fucking day uh you're like no sorry i don't want to touch your door because of the covid i was at war with an eight-year-old then i lost yeah dude it was crazy i wanted to break him but but i was so happy when he beat me and my other son you let him win. No There was I didn't let him win Here's the thing There were shots that I knew that were out that I didn't call out But as we got to the final game, I'm like hey, I need to take control of this shit

And I couldn't Dang, yeah, I couldn't wrestle it back from you know what I mean? Like I was I was playing like and then and then I you know, you're fooling around you're fooling around and then it slipped away that's crazy and he and he wasn't sad at all obby if obby beats me i see obby like is fighting back tears but he was just like rage mad like pissed who the one you beat oh no joseph no he was ecstatic he's like I beat you you suck whereas if Avi beats me obviously getting ready to cry huh

that's awesome good for him yeah I told him it was the only thing he what he beat you in arm wrestling no shut your face hey use the the red and yellow is the only thing. What did he beat you in? Arm wrestling? No, shut your face. Do you guys still use the red and yellow balls like the kids tennis balls? Do you use the regular ones now? We they play

when they, Avi plays with regular balls. My seven-year-old son still they play with orange balls, but when we play all together, we all play with regular balls. I don't play with them with the orange balls. Do they notice a difference? Yeah, yeah. I mean, now they've been playing.

Yeah, yeah. The only reason why they play with yellow balls is just for court coverage. They have the response time, and they can predict it, but it's the fact that ball is moving so fast, and it takes them six steps to cross the court because they're so fucking little. You know, they're seven and they're my kids. They're tiny.

Right. I think my seven year old is about to pass up the height of my nine year old. Yeah, one of them is going to be two feet tall. The other one's going to be two foot one. Feeding him more than the others or what? No, I just I don't know what happened to him savvy did you check out jennifer say's new clothing line i did um i i invited her on i invited her on

xxxy athletics i think it's just hard for him to... I mean, I would be bummed too if I was nine and I was beating my dad. That sucks. Do you think that ruins it for him? He's like, damn, my dad's not that cool. I don't know, but I push hard. Man, I push hard. We are unapologetic about our goals. We are here to protect women's sports and spaces.

Unapologetic about our goals, we are here to protect women's sports and spaces. We believe women deserve the opportunity that sports and single-sex spaces provide. The opportunity to thrive in athletics and education. Jesus Christ, dude. It's all athletic equipment probably the same person calls me every fucking day while I'm doing the podcast and I always write back podcast yeah I

invite her I text her again do you think that that show was weird that I was on like we didn't hit it off I felt like it was a little uh like it wasn't fun for her i don't know she was a little standoffish i think that's just kind of like her personality she's got a rough outer layer yeah yeah i could see that for sure like she's posturing like maybe she's overcompensating because of some uh like what she thinks that people think about women right yeah she's she's very professional hey i i i saw that caleb i saw that caleb williams things with the pink phone and the pink nails i didn't really i don't know it didn't do anything to me but you know what is

really weird look at at the Chicago Bears. If you go to the Chicago Bears Instagram account, there's something really funny on there. I'm not going to weigh in because I don't... Because I'm a judgmental dick, and it's probably not good to be a judgmental dick. Scroll down. keep going. Oh, look at this.

Meet our women's advisory board. I don't even know what that is, but look at this. Watch this. You can't read that shit on your phone. You have something that says women's advisory board, and you have quotes from women that basically says,

fuck you. The presentation says, fuck you. We don't care what you have to say hey and that chick right there that that's that chick right there in the bottom right that's like the only person that i see go to the next one maybe and maybe that one on the bottom left yeah the other chick is like looks like a clown to me keep going go back i mean just my first impression go back to the other chicks coming from a female fan we'd rather have a winning team than pandering yeah i don't i don't i don't really know what a women's advisory board is before i really yeah but look at the black chick she looks like a clown to me too like i can't even no no actually

that the one in the lower left looks good but yeah like what does she have on her face I can't like I don't see I don't see anything real about the post I don't see anything real about the post yeah you can barely read that

uh dirt hey Sevan have you reached out to Jocko's media guy echo Charles for a pod. You love that dude. Okay, I'll start following him Thank you. Yeah, he's really cool. He started doing some CGI shit with like Terminator Dudes basically I typed in the word echo Oh echo Charles, okay Follow got him You like makes these oh he does Wow Wow.

Anyway, they're just kind of like ads, but they're cool to watch. I watched a movie the other day called Snack Shack. You heard of that at all? Snack Shack? No. So it was filmed in Nebraska City, which is like an hour from me. Okay. Are we going to watch the trailer? Oh, no, we can't. We'll get in trouble. Oh, it's R. I like R-rated comedies.

Yeah. So it's basically like a combination of Napoleon Dynamite, if you've ever watched Napoleon Dynamite. Yeah. I love Napoleon Dynamite. Love it. And like Caddyshack. Or Risky Business. i see money changing hands yeah so these these uh these kids are like entrepreneurs in middle school or high school and they just try to like make a bunch of money it's like a summer thing where they're all trying to find jobs and make a bunch of money and all this shit and this hot chick comes in and the friends fall in love with her and blah blah blah and they work at a pool but it's do they both fall in love with her and blah blah blah and they work at a pool but it's do they both fall in love with her yeah it's like a love triangle thing and yeah it's funny but then one of the

things that they do in the middle of the running this snack shack is they start making hot dogs and writing fuck on them and mustard and ketchup oh and they start charging them 75 cents more so instead of a dollar hot dog they call it a fuck dog and it's a dollar 75. And then everybody just goes crazy. So all these kids in Nebraska city are starting to buy a fuck dogs and they just make a shitload of money over the summer. It's a really good movie, but it's also hilarious.

Just all of the weird like Nebraska isms. So like if you were to watch this movie and you're never been to Nebraska, but you just have like a stereotype of what the Midwest is like. Yeah. This is exactly it. Hey, this actually looks like a good movie. It is. It's really good. Is it on Netflix or Amazon?

I think you can get it on YouTube, but let me go check. It's in theaters right now for sure. Did you ever see E2 Mama, Tom BN? No, but I've heard of it. God, that was a good movie. That was a love triangle movie. So good. It was good?

Yeah, it's on E2 Mama Tambien. It's so good. It's a little dark, but it's good. Is it all in Spanish? Yeah, but you won't even care. It's so good. The chicken, it's so fucking hot. It's so great. Hard to watch it chicken it's so fucking hot it's so great

it's on Amazon it looks like yeah Snack Shack's on YouTube but you have to pay for it everywhere else it's on it's in movie theaters oh but you can buy it on YouTube yeah 20 bucks

I don't know if I've ever bought a movie on youtube you know if caleb was a trailer narrator for fuck dog movie i'd pay extra to see it that's a compliment or what i know what's a fuck dog movie that's what they make they make fuck dog movies oh fuck oh right right right fuck dog hot dogs okay okay almost though oh look burpee dude really really good you've seen it already too oh eat your mom at tombien yeah okay okay that's it i wish the show with jason was live i could really use your guys's support it's gonna be lonely without you guys oh i remember that my wife just told me one time she got pulled over by a cop and they threatened

to shoot uh our dog and we had a 14 pound dog meshy hey a cop threat i had a great day one time and a cop threatened to shoot my dog too what the fuck for what because it was barking i i've told this story a million times too but i was at this party and college it was in the backyard and these cops came in and this lady cop came in with her baton pulled out really aggressive really aggressive and they started like just being assholes there were like 15 cops this was an isle of vista a shitload of cops and they were just being dickheads like unnecessarily yeah and i was outside and a fight broke out in there with the cops the party and the cops got into a fight so the people in the party are pouring out Yeah. help him pull people off of him it was the first time i ever seen someone get thrown by their hair

he threw this girl this girl fucking ran up to hit him and he grabbed her by her hair and flung her i don't know if it's my imagination or not but i saw her feet come off the ground anyway he he ends up getting this guy in a in a headlock and falls back like on the hood of this acura integra in a street And it's just a melee around him. And I'm trying to push people away from him basically. Anyway, so it breaks up. It's over. And the cop takes my name.

And then the next morning the cops show up to my house. And I had this couch in my driveway where they show up to my house, like where you just sit and smoke weed all day, you know? Sure. And so I come outside my front door and my Great Dane's in there and I'm telling the story. The cops are like, hey, can you tell us what happened? And then they're like, do you want to add anything else? And I said to the guy, I said, yeah, I said, hey, this whole thing could have been prevented.

They said, thanks for helping and all that. And I'm like, sure. And I said, but this whole thing could have been prevented if the cops wouldn't have walked in like assholes oh the reason why it turned into a big investigation is that chick lost her baton they were trying to get her baton back i guess that's a big deal if a cop loses something like that yeah i think so so trying to get a weapon so you're probably not in good shape so they say so so i say hey if that cop if that female cop wouldn't walked in there like a fucking douche canoe that none of this would have happened and you know what the cop said

fuck you yeah he said if your dog comes out here i'm gonna shoot him i'm like oh and i'm so stupid i'm just like oh i don't i don't know what caused you to say that everything was fine until then i'm like i don't know what caused you to say that all i said was and i said it again hey you asked me if i had anything else to say i just want to tell you like good job but if that lady wouldn't have come in and then he said it again hey i'll shoot your dog if it comes out here hey maybe fix your sops dude what's that sops standard operating procedures like i just walked in when he said that i just fucking got up from the couch and i just walked i couldn't even fucking believe what I was hearing. I just walked away. I walked into the house and locked the door behind me.

That's fucking wild. I know, and I regretted ever talking to those dudes. What a crazy threat. Yeah. What an idiot. Yeah. There's... Whatever, there's idiots everywhere.

She lost her baton. Sounds like she was in a marching band yeah what is that thing called her nightstick that black thing with the fucking the handle on it yeah with the handle on it yeah yeah yeah uh yeah each mom and tom began translate oh and your mom too oh yeah i forgot about that I forgot about that part of the movie. No, it was a California beach thing. Everyone, like, I was in college. Like, we had a couch on the driveway,

and you just went out there and smoked weed. All right. Blade Walker. Some cops doing stupid shit puts other officers in a fucked up situation all the time. Yeah, it's like friends, right? It's like friends. And then eventually you just don't hang out with that friend. The guy who gets drunk and gets in bar fights all the time.

You're like, fuck that, dude. You just don't come to help that cop whenever they're in trouble. Seve, you always wore corduroys that were too long, didn't you? I did always wear corduroys, but they weren't too long. They weren were too long didn't you i all i did always wear corduroys but they weren't too long they weren't too long did you roll them up no i had a sewing kit i probably sewed them i had a little needle my friend worked at the ritz-carlton and one of the things that they gave the um the hotel would give away free to the patrons there were little sewing kits if you needed one and so he And he would always steal them from there and give them to me. So I had tons of little sewing kits.

It's a nice hotel. Yeah, it's cool. Sewing kit. Imagine staying at a hotel that offers a free sewing kit. Why don't you wear a vest to match the kids? I don't know I mean I've looked at them I just can't do it I don't think that I just can't do it I just don't have a nice enough body

I can't I hide under a jacket all day every day leave me alone I don't want to talk about my clothing choices there just let me wear my baggy clothes and leave me alone. I don't want to talk about my clothing choices. There. Just let me wear my baggy clothes and leave me alone. Wouldn't that be crazy if Jay-Z and P. Diddy went to jail? For some crazy shit.

Yeah. I wonder if Beyonce would get implicated in this. She just came out with a really good album. She might be fucked. I invited Diddy's bodyguard on the show. He responded to me. He said, not now, but thanks for the offer, Stay In Touch, or something like that. Really?

He actually responded? I know, yeah. Cool, right? Yeah, that'd be awesome. I wonder who we have on tomorrow so that's why Hiller did the show yesterday because I was at a tennis tournament that didn't happen oh tomorrow is Sousa's show it's like I don't even do a podcast anymore just come to hang out every once in a while yeah all right if hunter biden ain't going to jail those guys aren't good point

jeez uh see you guys later today or tomorrow or something i need to do a crossfit games update show i need to hang out with John Young and the gang again. I don't know why I'm doing that. I used to do two a day. I know. That was like two weeks ago. My whole life has changed. I feel like I'm going through something.

Something's happening with my circadian rhythms or something. It's a new man. I'm a new man? Yeah. Maybe. My hair's getting longer. I had to put gel on my hair today. Yeah, it looks nice.

Audrey, you missed Brian. Brian did a... Brian did a... Brian did a live sporting event. Yeah. Didn't really understand it. Oh, okay, good. Because someone told me the premise of it, and it sounded awesome,

that basically two guys go head-to-head, and if one guy gets five reps ahead, he's out. But then I started watching it, and that wasn't it, and then I couldn't follow it and i switched off from it but i really like that i really that would be pretty awesome just have two guys go and as soon as one guy's five reps ahead he's he wins yeah i think we have them some things to work out because i was watching it just couldn't get into it oh okay good okay doesn't really make sense all right good oh it's 40 reps ahead

oh you have to get 40 reps ahead oh audrey it's fun to watch 40 reps ahead jesus 40 reps ahead that's a lot but they why were they resting and get to go again that part i didn't think they had rest it was like two minutes on one minute off yeah i just want to see two i can't do that i just want to see two yeah i just want to see two dudes go and once one dude turns into a pussy a gelatinous sack of shit he's out it'd almost be better if you did like named workouts instead just like race this named workout kind of thing i don't know i have no idea what I'm talking about. I love this idea of reps ahead, though. No, so in theory, they could work out all day. Yeah, I guess.

Yeah. It was like 40 reps ahead or whoever gets to a certain amount of rounds first or something. I don't know. All right. Love you guys. See you soon. Bye-bye.