The Sevan Podcast - Live Call In | Sunday Service #1014

Episode Date: September 18, 2023

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going to be on today bam we're live uh sorry i haven't sent you the notes yet oh no i wonder if the notes are going to be all fucked up i just saw that they were they were open on this. Oh, please don't be fucked up. Oh, no, they're not. That's awesome. How are you? Good.

How are you? Awesome. I didn't even sleep very much, and I woke up feeling, like, just crazy invigorated and like passionate. Some mornings I'm like, oh my god, how am I going to do this show? I can't even open my eyes. This morning I was like, oh, I can't wait to get in there. Okay. Sent. I've set my

the reason why I keep showing up late every day now is I've pushed my alarm out 15 minutes. Trying to get an extra 15 minutes of sleep. Does that fuck with your schedule? Yeah. Do you have a game in the morning? I keep fucking around still.

I keep fucking around. This morning was one of those showers, too, where I use a bar of soap. And the bar of soap was like I had to work to keep it in my hand. You know, when there's like so little left, it's just like a little sliver. Like just in the palm, like just that part. Yeah. And then it falls on the ground and you got to pick it up and you're just like, fuck. And you're trying to like use your pubes to like suds it up and lather it up.

Like I wash my dick like probably like 20 times today because I'm trying to use that tough of pubes to lather up the soap. Yeah. You don't use a loofah? No. I had these bars of soap that I got from Portsmouth CrossFit. You know how they sell that soap? What's that stuff called?

Doc Martin? Doc Spartan. Doc Spartan. I'd gotten a bunch of bars of soap from them with loofahs in them i like the idea of it but you you have to be tactful it's like soap around the loofah yeah because it gets rough and shit oh yeah yeah i uh yeah cancel lap i love a good tuft lather yeah tuft lather yeah there you go thank you um wow god i was thinking about how how fortunate we are in this show this uh to have like things like the mikey wittius and then like the i just like

threads hey yo good morning good morning i love threads not Instagram thing. I just like when we have... Like the CrossFit Games... What is it? T-H-R-E-A-D. Threads. Yeah. Like that hold the show together. From like show to show, you mean? Yeah, like when Jeremy E. World had the liberal girlfriend, that was like... For me, that was like the dream scenario. And now we have Mike Wittius, and I just love it.

It's like just such a fun narrative to keep up on. Storyline, thank you, from a school teacher. I just love how it holds the show together. That thing just keeps giving. I'm just going to assume that everyone's caught up if you're not caught up you watch the clip that just got posted on our clip channel oh is it does it sum it up is there some summation of it yeah it's a it's a what did it say it's something Something about full psychological analysis of the fittest dwarf.

Oh, is that on our clip channel? No, that's on our channel channel. Oh, it's on our channel. Yeah. I exported one and it came out as 3 minutes and 30 seconds. I was like, that's weird. So I re-exported it again as a 19 minute version. Savon and the Angry Dwarf wow that's the name of this saga wow

uh mike mccaskey uh widius apparently blockedonistas who never commented on Lauren Fisher. Lauren Fisher's post or any other related to him. Oh, yeah. I've heard that. That he's just going through and anyone who's affiliated with the show is getting blocked. That's really incredible. Savon and the Angry Dwarf.

Wow, Leon. Where is Leon? Is he like Mount Everest or some shit? Yeah. Afghanistan mountains. Kandahar, searching for Bin Laden there. Oh, you think he's a male guy? No, I don't know.

I was just building a story around it. He's got the walking sticks. See him in the back? That means he's serious. Yeah, it does, right? Hey, that's the thing with those things those things scream pussy but they're actually the opposite i think if you have walking sticks yeah you like you're you're you're legit yeah it's like wearing a helmet when you're skiing

it's like yeah that dude fucking is bombing like off course not that he's a pussy it's like oh shit opposite yeah um so there's people complaining that he's not um that they're not that is kind of the thing it's become a badge of honor everyone's complaining that they're not blocked uh the burby dude i can't believe the other guy the other guy is the guy who also we'll talk about him in one second tim murray has tater tot as his instagram handle and then you got a swoosh acting like the victim so uh there is uh andrew hiller got kicked off of instagram um and you know it's it's instagram didn't do it on their own, obviously. Someone has reported him for some violation. It's because he sells, I think it's because he sells programming,

but he didn't have the account registered as a business account. And I'm sure there's millions of people out there who haven't filled out the right, checked the right box. And so he has an Instagram account taken away because someone pointed that out to Instagram. So he's been posting on Twitter. And yesterday, Hiller posted on Twitter that Mike Wittius, the fittest dwarf, I guess it was a tie between him and this guy, Tim Murray. And Tim Murray, if you go to his Instagram account, he posted the picture and it shows him and Wittius. But Wittius erased Murray. He erased the guy he tied with.

He fucking photoshopped him out. Oh, here it is. That's the original that's amazing dude that's amazing that's amazing lettering here in the middle hey you would have think at least he would have wrote

he should have done something funny like put some other guy yeah you know what i mean god another picture of him or something or put rich froning in there put rich froning's head on tim's head and what's crazy is is it looks like someone at crossfit took the time to make them each their own right so the one that that um uh mike wittius had they made him more prominent and the one tim murray had he's more prominent but yeah he's just fucking which speaks volumes uh about his character they're also and to come full circle in the irony this this you guys are not going to believe uh oh yeah and wittius even get this guy even left in Wittius' – the whole write-up.

This Tim Murray guy. Wittius grew up wrestling competitively. God, wow. He could have even put himself first if he wanted, right? Yeah, he could have done whatever he wanted when he reposted it. Oh, no, this is CrossFit Games' account, though. It looks like a repost. It's Tater Time. Oh, it isost it. Oh, no. This is CrossFit Games' account, though. It looks like a repost. Oh, it is?

Crazy. Phillip Kelly, Tater Tot's a good dude. People's champ now. Oh, should have put Colton Mertens in there. Also fair. Man. This is crazy.

I don't know if you have this video, but this whole thing, this whole fun circus started because of a movie clip Lauren Fisher posted on her... Well, I shouldn't say it started there part where the story picks up

where it gets fun in Mr. Wittius's life is Lauren Fisher posted uh a clip from Tropic Thunder not Tropic of Thunder but Tropic Thunder and it's a clip where Robert Downey Jr. says you never go full retard I'm sorry you never go full retard you have oh here it is thank you god look at you kid this this is what started it all okay here we go action but it knows you never go full retard what do you mean check it out that's what started it all that guy got upset uh mike whitties got upset because she used a clip from a movie to describe how what how she performed in one of the workouts that's and that guy got crazy angry and flipped his shit i started trying to get her canceled and shit right started like

writing to like her trainers and sponsors and all this shit being like hey tried to cancel her sponsors and all this shit being like hey he tried to cancel her no i didn't i i tried to talk to her nicely at first and told her to take it down and when she wouldn't listen to me that's when i did it oh okay sorry my bad my bad uh first he told her to take it down and she didn't uh please bear with me this i think the spirit of the show story is quite accurate i don't think i need to talk about all the steps he got to before we didn't follow his rules and he starts canceling people. Well, I don't know if Caleb has it. And this is no surprise.

But here is Mr. Wittius making fun of a dwarf black man mentally challenged, to use his vernacular man in this in the same way but worse than what lauren fisher did this is a character named beetlejuice who for some reason mr wittiest thinks it's okay to drag into the dirt and use as an example of a of someone who's not listening to their coach and you knew this was going to happen this reminds me of the uh republican congressman who can't stop talking about how much he hates homosexuals and then the very next week we find out he's getting a blow job in the bathroom at fucking o'hare airport 50 bucks for you know you know those republicans who do that they just i hate gays i hateays, and next thing you know, he's sucking dick somewhere.

This is fucking crazy. This is from this dude's Instagram account, MikeySwoosh1, Michael Wittius. This is like, this is a thousand times more offensive than anything that Lauren posted.

When your CrossFit coach catches you not doing the warm-up and it shows a fine African male mentally challenged dwarf as the example for... I don't know. I presume it's... I presume it's making fun of him, right?

I'm sorry. I'm reading into it because I also think... I actually think it's funny. I admit. I admit, unlike others. Oh, you found the humor in it? Yeah, I found – I did. Thank you. Oh, man.

Hang me from a tree. Hang me from a tree. Sorry. Sorry. Electric – white guys get electrocuted. Electrocute you in a chair. Sorry. I didn't mean to culturally appropriate how black people are killed. I meant to get back. No, I'm Armenian.

Tie me to a tree post and chop my head off. I have to stick to my own death metaphors. Yeah, get it right. Let's not offend anybody. David Weed, why are you still talking about this? Come on, man. Stop it, dude. What are you talking about fucking someone said that they were going to make me some artwork of like the evil characters in the uh seven podcast pantheon oh that's amazing yeah like rosa

like 40 back it's like a comic book like You know what I mean? When they have the big poster for the whole series. I was thinking this morning. As many of you know, I lived in a neighborhood where I was the only white dude. It was just all black dudes except for the Chinese dude who sold heroin. And it was all black dudes except for me for two years. dude who sold heroin and it was all black dudes except for me for two years and then as a lot of you know i was i worked i lived on the driveway mentally disabled adults for five years i lived on the driveway with eight mentally disabled adults i ran that home i lived in a motor home on the driveway 24 hours a day i was with them i started off there as low man on the totem pole

when i left i i had 20 people working for me it's's where I met. It's well, I wouldn't say it's where I met my wife. I met my wife a little bit before that, but she worked there too. And I was also thinking, you know, what gives me more, um, black cred, you know, people like, well, I have some black friends. Well, I have some gay friends. I was thinking this morning in the shower. I've picked up more black hitchhikers than anyone listening to the show right now. Than anyone I've ever met in my life. That's got to give me – and I didn't pick up a single one of them because they're black. Now you think, how many black hitchhikers have you picked up?

I was trying to think of – I think i've only picked up like eight or ten i was trying to think but i'm gonna give myself a dozen because i must have forgotten some and i know it's not a big number it's more than i've never picked a hitchhiker in my life yeah most people never picked up a hitchhiker let alone a black hitchhiker i that's got to give me crazy cred but sorry i i digress i digress i um and i and you some of you who listen to the show closely know why i picked up hitchhikers um i was fortunate enough to get a new car and i just felt this obligation to help people my mom probably would have never bought me a car if she knew that was going to be the destiny of like he's gonna drive around and pick people up off the road i just committed to just doing that kind of shit but

when i got it but um my life has come full circle i even though i don't i i don't i don't work at CrossFit anymore I don't work at a home for disabled adults anymore I don't live in a neighborhood full of black people there's not a single black person in my neighborhood now not even none there's more Native Americans in mine show you how few black people there are in my town there's more Native Americans in Santa And yet my whole life now is those three topics kind of. Mentally challenged. Black culture. I'm probably – it's probably me. That's me.

I'm the black man. I'm the only black guy in my life. And then what was the third thing? A CrossFit. That's it. I'm living like the perfect life. My three areas of expertise are now. Yeah, a lot of balance, a lot of synergy there, huh?

And my newest hobby is cancel culture. And I've brought the fight to my front yard so I don't even have to go out and fight it. I just chummed the water and it came to me and now I can just sit back and yeah. Did you see my baseball throw yesterday? Nope. Did you see that shit, Caleb? The one in the long johns? Yeah, I did.

Yeah. Those were not long johns. Those were straight up tights. No, they're long johns. I think they might be. They're just too small on me. Hey, I'm going to tell you this. Don't, this is a true story.

Afterwards, I thought I should have stuffed my pants. If I ever do that again, I'm putting something in my pants. Seriously. You could put at least two baseballs down there. I'm not joking. I wish I would have stuffed my pants. Hey, Jeff Baco, he's a pinhead. Dude, he's a cinder block head.

What are you talking about? That dude's head's huge. That dude, Mr. Wittius, got a big old fucking... He's probably Jewish. He probably got a giant Jew brain in there. My son has a giant head like that. Giant Jew brain. Look at this.

Yeah, yeah, look at this. Here we go. It's going to take a while to get to the distance. Hey, three years ago, I grew weed in those black bags there. See those black bags? And I bought them. They held like 20 cloth bags, and they held like shitloads of soil. They opened up huge.

And I had 50 marijuana plants growing in my backyard. Five zero? Yeah. And now those bags, lizards live in them so i feel bad because they're always hot look at this look at this 23 paces one shot boom audio on look at that shit dude hey that's the one in our fucking chat remember when that guy threw the baseball at the pitcher and he's like, hey, you can't do that. I'm like, are you kidding me? Yeah.

I have a laser focus. Laser. I just love your celebration of both of you. John Williams, the witness situation needs to be discussed. Keep it up, Sevan. Hey, that's also more proof that I'm black, by the way. No Armenian man has that kind of athleticism. We'd be

selling, like, jewelry and carpets and shit. Thank you, Mr. Williams. I appreciate it. Yeah, it's fucking nuts. Hopefully, Mr. Williams, hopefully we'll have, John will have Tim Murray on and find out how he takes the whole thing. It's just crazy. And here's the thing too.

Let's say that there was something wrong with what she did. Let's just say, right? And I'm open to like what she did was 5% wrong. Some people got their feelings hurt. We don't want to hurt people's feelings. it's like dude how about like your action would be like hey lauren uh i got a retarded sister and that just so you know that shit hurts sorry you lost the 25 grand it's still a funny clip i know but i'm just saying love you girl like that's it dude that's what that warranted if then you got it off your back and um uh you got it off your back and you got it off your back and then it's cool and she knows and then maybe she'll think twice. But contacting Max Alhaj at Training Think Tank.

Contacting CrossFit because I called you out. Hey, here's another thing that i always forget like we were in the street fighting dude and you went full nuclear you went inside and got a gun like if you want to fight on the internet let's just fight on the we can fight on the internet it's all cool but you went full nuclear you're like you're like trying to get people fucking canceled dude i would never ever in a million years call your job i would never go anywhere where your money is where your money is now i know some people like well you're stupid seven you don't understand blah blah fine i am stupid but dude come on dude learn how

to learn how to like fight a little bit uh the burpee dude 23 paces at seve height and stride length not impressed hey i was trying to make some extra kind of like big steps not only for like a flex but i was trying to like take some bigger steps just try it out a little bit no no planning for that either i'm not like okay this morning i'm gonna make an instagram clip it I was trying to like take some bigger steps. Just try it out a little bit. No planning for that either. I'm not like, okay, this morning I'm going to make an Instagram clip. It was literally like I was in the garage. I was riding the assault bike for a few minutes.

And then I spent $2,000 of our money yesterday, Susan. I have to. On throwing lessons? No. I'll tell you. Our bank account's going to probably end up becoming like our Instagram account. You're probably going to get fucking banned from it. Caller, hi. Hello?

Caller? Hello? did I lose you no no caller hey caller yeah what it's faint hold on hold on caller sorry hold on hold on I bought a new

I bought a new roadcaster too oh awesome i'm sorry hold on caller hold on to ask uh do you even do you think that the um the adaptive division and pretty much like all divisions besides individual individuals elite individuals and team um should kind of be cut from the crossfit games um and maybe like have those represented at like their own uh competition or um you know fitness festival like guadalupalooza something along those lines um because it seems like a lot of actually a headache for crossfit so just wanted y'all's take on that what do you think what do you think i personally don't care either way i have no i might my my here's my two thoughts one if they do cut it that kind of sucks because i like

the thought of keeping the community together two i like it if they do cut it and they can let more athletes participate from the adaptive and the age group then i like it so like what i guess some some nuances depend, right? Yeah, no, for sure. Like, done right. I think it would be a win-win because all of the eyeballs are kind of on the individuals and team anyway during the CrossFit Games. And I know Mikey, like, I mean, like, Jedediah, Logan, they're awesome. Like, he doesn't speak for all the adaptive,

but he definitely had this sense of entitlement, like in a reel he put out and just from other things that I've gathered. And I kind of feel like. What's the entitlement? You're saying Jedediah had some entitlement? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying I like Jedediah, you know, some of the other guys like Logan. I mean, some of the athletes that you've had on you.

Who's Logan? Wasn't he the one-armed dude? Oh, Casey Aikry? Oh, yeah. Maybe I'm thinking of Casey. Sorry. Casey's barely adaptive. I'd probably make him go individually. Well, yeah, they're great guys i was saying uh mikey doesn't speak for them i know but um mikey himself the witty guy of kind of this the wittiest guy michael wittiest the guy that's like the door yeah yeah him okay okay swish or whatever yeah

yeah um no i i was just saying he seems to have kind of this sense of entitlement and, uh, you know, I, I was just thinking, Hey, maybe all parties are better served if the CrossFit games just simplifies its structure and focuses on individuals and team. Um, you know, I know you kind of hate sometimes when it's compared to other sports, but, uh, you know, like, you know like you know the the the nba finals is that like that that's what you get you know it's two teams or um you know the super bowl like it's it's one final competition best of the best so um i get the whole community aspect i was just kind of curious on uh on y'all's sake because i'm not really an

og crossfitter like i i do CrossFit, but I, you know, I've been following it for maybe the last five or six years, but you know, wasn't around kind of during the froning era or anything like that. Let me paint just a couple of pictures for you here. Just, just some ideas. I'm not, not one way or another. I like the idea of the CrossFit games as being like a festival more than a sporting event. I like it to be more like how I pictured Woodstock to be. i like to think of it as a place where my boys are going to like hold hands with a girl for the first time or kiss a girl under the benches for the first time i like to think

of it as a place where not where like it's a family event where it's there's not necessarily there's a campground there where maybe a few 16 year olds are smoking weed but it's a really cool family event i like the idea of like those christian guys having like like a service there on site i like the idea like i just like i like the festive community part of it so much if i don't know if you've been to the mr universe contest or the arnold but these aren't community events they've turned into just giant gross perversions of what human beings should look like every single person there has plastic surgery or is on steroids and when i say every single one i mean more than 51 and it's a bizarre bizarre freaking freak show and i just don't i'm afraid that if you pull out the adaptive

and the masters and the teens and the teams and you start separating that this individual thing is going to lose its festival community piece that I really like, like people can't be there, and turn into just a fucking freak show of people who have some pathological need to work out. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, no, that's a great take. I appreciate it.

Yeah, so that's kind of where I'm at. But I'm open. I don't have any – whenever people are like, CrossFit's making too many changes, I'm a huge proponent of the constantly changing. I have no problem with the – the only place I feel some sympathy, and it's not even empathy for the athletes and the changes, is all the videoing that needs to be done.

That shit is stressful as fuck to do a workout. You've got to have your camera, backup camera, a different angle, weigh the weight. But other than that, fuck it. Change shit every year have your camera backup camera a different angle weigh the weight like that's just but other than that fuck it change shit every year i don't give a shit yeah it's tough to talk about too it's like the the changes you know themselves are kind of sources of conversation for um you know analysts and whatnot so uh yeah no i think that was a great take i i really have no opinion on it i was just curious what you guys thought. Um, so, uh, 27, are you, are you married? Yeah. Oh, okay. But if you were as a young man, as a 21 year old man, it sounds like it's fun to go with five year friends camp at the CrossFit games and meet some cool girls. Right. And watch some people

work out. Yeah. Yeah. No, it definitely sounds great sounds great yeah um i mean it sounds like a dream i hope my boys do that like load up an rv and fucking go to the crossfit games to watch people work out and meet girls hit on girls heck yeah it's a romantic uh idea i like it yeah totally healthy environment fun you're doing fran instead of fucking um fentanyl fun you're doing fran instead of fucking um fentanyl hey there should be a workout called fentanyl i don't know if dale king will like that by the way i started watching dale king's movie on fentanyl and portsmouth uh crossfit and its effect on the city of ohio that's an incredible movie that's an incredible movie i watched the first half i'll have to look it up

i haven't heard of that yet it premieres in october october i'll have dale king back on the show uh we'll we'll have dale king back on the show and it'll be cool sick hey and i want to say too on the topic of movies um this was something crazy i i just thought about it right now um i listened to um jim caviezel um on to the j the Jordan Peterson podcast, and he was talking about the Sound of Freedom movie. And I was pretty inspired afterward. I never saw that. Did you see it? Oh, that was the hardest podcast I've ever listened to. I mean, I had to stop and I was it was during work and I even started crying a little bit.

So maybe TMI, but it was tough. Yes. I don't know if I'll, it was during work and I even started crying a little bit. So, uh, maybe TMI, but, um, it was tough. Yeah. So I don't know if I'll be able to watch the movie. Um, but anyway, I shared a link afterward, uh, to the podcast and then also to their, like their donations page. Um, and I've had Facebook since probably around like, I don't know, oh nine, oh eight, something like that. And I've never, ever had a post that didn't have a single like, and this post had like no reactions at all, which is like, you know, for me, it's not a vanity standpoint. It's just like a, it's a visibility issue. I think like maybe it was suppressed, you know, like my wife didn't even see it. And she was like, oh my gosh, she had to go to my profile and and like it

so it's just kind of crazy i mean y'all were talking about 1984 the other day and it's like hey what what could be the worst let's say everything that movie's about children being abducted right brainwashed yeah okay well they report their parents to the you know to the authorities and it's crazy and make up lies eventually and the parents still get um you know incarcerated incinerated all that so so what would be the problem with that movie whether it's true or not true like what that's the part where i start tripping like so what there's tons of movies out there that aren't true like what would be the problem it's like the guy we have on here who's like against killing babies he's the um uh anti-abortion guy seth gruber like what so what leave him alone like so what if that

movie so what if that movie um is is a lie like who's it hurt it doesn't hurt anyone right maybe it works paranoia if the whole thing is, right? Maybe it worst spreads paranoia. If the whole thing is false, the worst it does is spread paranoia. Yeah. I mean, I think it hits too close to home probably. And people are afraid of what they see. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, shit. Wow. Someone just sent me a... Someone just sent me a wad... Some meme. Someone just sent me a... Someone just sent me a wads... Some memes. Someone just sent me some memes where I'm Mini-Me and Mike Wittius is Mike Myers.

Oh, man. I think I'm going to have to post that. Oh, no. Do you see that? Suze, I think you're on the thread to post that. Oh, no. Do you see that? Suze, I think you're on the thread. It's amazing. Yes. Definitely post worthy.

Let me see if I can send this to K. I'll let you guys run. I just wanted to pop in and ask that real quick. Yeah. Appreciate all you guys do. All right. Hey, who do you think is taller, me or Mike? You. I know, but I thought I was was gonna be taller than colton too uh yeah well i mean i don't know money on it don't put a lot

of money i'm just very well proportioned all right yeah you know good stuff all right see y'all bye later oh man all right yeah you know good stuff all right see y'all bye later oh man this is uh pretty incredible yeah that's the one that is him right that's oh yeah there it is that's widius right yeah hey that's a great that he that's the most handsome i've seen him look that's a great picture of him. That's good. God. Someone take that and make that your desktop picture.

My hand is all fucked up. My left hand. What is this? Is this just from that movie? Just their cute whatever? It doesn't actually mean anything. One million dollars. Call her. Hi.

Hi. Hey, good morning, guys. Hey, real quick. Does Dave like the adaptives at the games? I do not know. I've never heard. I've never heard i've never heard i actually have the only time i ever remember him talking about the adaptives

is in carson i think that before there's maybe an adaptive class i remember he was excited to have him out on the floor in the stadium for some sort of I don't know. They competed or performed out there, whatever you want to call it what CrossFitters do. That's it. Very interesting. I don't hear him get excited about the individuals either.

He's not like, oh, I'm so excited for the final event. He's not like that. I just sent you a text. Back on August 6th, Oh, I'm so excited for the final event. He's not like that. So back in August, I just sent you a text. Back on August 6th, he had Mikey Swoosh posted a problem that he had with not getting his shirt or something

like that. So I responded. I'm like, you know, Dave's back in charge. He'll take care of it. Kind of felt bad for the little guy. And he writes back, Dave does not like the adaptives at the games. I was like, oh, that's interesting. Who knew? So if he has such a

problem with Dave's not liking the adaptives, why isn't he canceling Dave? I just sent you the text. You can see it. It's on his Instagram on August 6th. It's still up there. I'm looking for that. You sent it to me? Yeah, just now. It's still up there. I'm looking for, I'm looking for the, you sent it to me. Yeah,

just now. I don't see it. I screenshotted it. I screenshotted the conversation we had. That, um, that's just an outright, uh,

that's just an outright lie. Like Dave doesn't, Dave doesn't, he doesn't even work. He doesn't even work like that. Like, or dislike the adaptive. That's just fucking, it's like, just tell me you don't know Dave.

Again, show me the proof and put your money where your mouth is. Here's the thing with Dave. Even though he's a games guy, no one should forget he's a training guy. He's a methodology guy. If there's one thing that he is a methodology guy before he's a games guy, he believes in the fucking pyramid. He believes in the continuum. He is CrossFit through and through. And part of what is CrossFit is it's for everybody.

Or it's for anybody, but it's not for everybody. Yeah, he is no – that's just fucking idiocy. everybody yeah he's he is no um that's just fucking idiocy he's the it's his and nicole's staff that ran the gym under uh crossfit hq that was for obese people and um old people just anyone who was just really struggling to move it's just that's stupid hey that's more victim shit that's more when when people better be careful hey you know what I'm tripping on is I warned this guy three or four days ago like this doesn't go away for him like you remember like just out of the blue

he's like I want to see they made girls sign NDAs blah blah blah that someone was involved with first of all I've never been involved with any fucking girls in the last fucking 20 years besides my fucking wife that I can remember and you're fucking crazy if you think that anyone ever reported me to HR for anything. I was thinking about the story the other night,

who I would argue is the fucking most beautiful – I'm not even going to get into it. But ask anyone at fucking HQ. I kept my fucking distance from fucking the women. And that guy's a fucking douchebag for saying that for bringing that up again but i'm that mikey swish guy this is gonna follow you around till the day you die now dude like it's not like you're not gonna be able to block everyone everywhere you go now when you go to the games everywhere you show up you're gonna be that guy you're the victim dude you're

the cancel culture dude it's defining him now he's that guy. Yeah. You're the guy that no one should talk to. Everyone should stay away from because you'll probably call their work. Did you see someone posted on fucking YouTube? They're like, yeah, this guy called my job four years ago when I made some sort of joke. And I lost my job. No shit. And Mike responded on there. I don't even know who you are

Wait till you hear from my lawyers I know I'm like dude Tell me you did it without telling me you did it Is that on Hiller's page? Probably It's probably in that page Or it's on ours The one with the uh psychiatrist joe

westerlin dude one night my wife was an undercover cop as an escort they got a millionaire businessman from china to drive nine hours to meet a 12 year old girl and a pimp show up with three minors being trafficked in one night fuck holy shit wow wow Holy shit. Wow. Wow. Wow. All right, cool. Well, enjoy your breakfast. What are you making? Sounds like you're flipping pancakes or something.

Yep, you're right. You're right. Three eggs over easy with bacon. Yep, Ecuadorian man flipping pancakes. Puerto Rican. Sorry, Puerto Rican. That's Gabe. You're all the same.

You're all the same. All right. All right, guys. Later. same. Later. Offended. Puerto Rican mama. Puerto Rican mama. That means that's your hot chick. Wow. That does suck, Ryan. If that's's true i'm not even gonna read that

i don't know what you mean by lost two babies my wife had two uh um miscarriages my wife and i both had miss we had two miscarriages ah no not so much i didn't't have one. My wife had one. Two. Had two. I don't know. Maybe my wife's crazy, but I think it was more physically hard on her than mentally hard on her. Mentally, she recovered easily, but physically, they fucked her up. The miscarriages.

One of them, she bled to death. Had to rush her to the hospital. She went unconscious. Lost so much blood, she went unconscious. Damn. A lot of blood. I spoke to Jeremy last night in between the fights. That was nice. He has a soothing voice.

How's he doing? I was laying on the couch there with my feet up, staring at my new big screen. Had a sparkling water in hand watching the fights jeremy talking he's good soothing voice he should be a psychiatrist judy what's up girl how how are you you good life good hey would you ever be able to re-release our house on the uh the channel yeah would you ever consider doing that yeah totally i can yeah okay yeah just upload it as a video and and just street cred it's so hard to find now it's yeah it's super hard to find so it takes a little bit i just think

if it popped like right up i think it would i have the file on my computer i'll upload it right after this yeah i think it'd be i think people would really enjoy it too like i just like just happened to stumble upon it like the first five minutes and then watch the whole entire rest of the thing i was like i'm just gonna watch the first few minutes see what this is about and then i was i was drawn in i was like oh shit this was great well thank you uh mrs burns hi caller hi what's what's up what's up dude this is steven hey steven what's up dude i uh i was just thinking about our house when y'all brought that up so i wanted to call in and say that if you haven't watched it you should that was the first movie i ever made by the way. That was the first movie I ever made, by the way, that was the first movie I ever made.

That was awesome. And what was, what's cool is that, you know, I think people with disabilities, you know, just want you to be real with them. They're real with each other in their house. And so when you do this kind of cancel culture stuff with people with disabilities, it makes people want to walk around eggshells around people with disabilities. And I don't think they want that at all. But I can't speak for them, but I'm just saying that's something that I kind of picked up from the movie. Hey, dude. So this movie came out.

It won 30 film festival awards around the world uh it wherever it ran into the film that won the academy award that year it won the the movie that won the academy award that year was a movie called spellbound a great movie this beat it every time and when this movie came out the um uh dds in in California, the Department of Disabled Services, was furious, and they sent out a team of people to look at the house. And that they said that the movie was completely inappropriate and mischaracterized people with mental disabilities. These people's families came out, all the families, and defended me. And they said, hey, DDS, you may not like the portrayal of this movie, but this is exactly what it's fucking like. There's no sugarcoating.

And I was so fucking proud. I was so fucking proud at that moment. It's ironic. Yeah, oh, it's so ironic. I never even thought of it until you brought it right now. And that's exactly what's happening here. And here's the thing. When I work with mentally disabled adults, I say this over and over and over. These people, there's one characteristic, and maybe it's me projecting, that stood out more than anything else. They're so nice

No They just want to be accepted No They fucking want a girlfriend or a boyfriend They want That across the board That was the theme the whole five years I worked there And you know what they wanted

They wanted a girl or a boyfriend who wasn't mentally disabled And they wanted to have an intimate relationship with them, and they couldn't. And why couldn't they? Because people didn't accept them. Because people fucking didn't accept them because people demanded that they would be offended by words like retarded. And it's such a vicious circle. You have these people who you think you're defending them, but basically you're keeping them in their cage. You're demanding that they behave a certain way. And it's just like – yeah, just set them free.

I remember people used to say to Howard Stern, they would be like, hey, you have all these fucking retards on your show, and you're just making fun of them, the Brat Pack. And he'd be like, okay, why don't one of you guys give them a job or make them famous? And you're just making fun of them, the Brat Pack. And he'd be like, okay, why don't one of you guys give them a job or make them famous? They're just being who they are on my show. And you're projecting that you think it's disrespectful or I'm making fun. They're loving this. They're loving coming on my show with 30 million listeners being themselves.

It's you that's having trouble accepting them. And it's fucking crazy, dude. Hey, that is the essence of being a liberal feeling sorry for people that was the same reason why that that's why the south kept slaves they said hey if we let the slaves go these people are too dumb they'll die on their own that's the way big government works it's it's uh it's a crazy crazy psychological head fuck. Like they say that people would say that our house is a mischaracterization. But, you know, you have shows out there like The Good Doctor that I don't necessarily have like a beef with it. But like that to me, that like mischaracterizes autism. It's like, you know, like that is not autism by and large and this is what you're like you make it to be like this cool disease versus like a show like our house like let's just show

what what it is like it's it's hard and it's real but at the same time like yeah it's hard but at the same time like you know it's just people and we all have stuff that's hard and let's not hide from it. And a show like our house to me, like, you know, just mischaracterizes things. So not our house. The Good Doctor mischaracterizes more than, you know, than anything else. So, you know, I guess I kind of have a problem with that. You know, I got someone with autism in my, and it's like, that is not autism for what you see on this show. I'm not trying to cancel that. Do you have kids?

I do. I have one. How old? He's two years old. You got to read the book Unvaccinated. You got to get that audio book and listen to it. Oh, my gosh. You got to listen to it. Dude, I know. That is a point of contention. unvaccinated you got to get that audiobook and listen oh my gosh you got to listen dude that is

a that i know that is a point of contention make your wife listen to it make your wife listen to it you gotta listen you gotta be the one to she'll be the one to sell she'll be the one to sell see my whole family they're like all on that train like my side of the family uh so anyways hey make it just ask anyone be like hey if you love my son or my daughter will you just read this book you gotta you gotta do everything you gotta do everything in your power to have them stop fucking injecting drugs into your drug like your kid and fucking with the kid's immune system i'm telling you you'll get 15 minutes into the book and you'll be like oh shit i'm telling you dude and you can look up anything you want to verify it they're not like telling you stuff that you're not finding on the cdc or fda website yeah anyway yeah it's called unvaccinated just be like hey can you

just please listen to this oh my my mom has been trying to get me on that too yeah she's right dude she's right i'm telling you she's right nothing bad is going to happen to your kid if you don't do it to them push it off let them decide when they're older i'm telling you no one gets the me no one gets the measles and gets the measles again people get the measles they can't get cured they heal themselves from it and they never get it again same with chicken pox yeah yeah okay well i got sorry to just sorry to ride you like that but say it again i said i got shingles not too long ago i never had the um uh chicken pox like i actually got it as a kid and then out of the blue um i got shingles it was wild like i went i thought i

had a staph infection and i went to the doctor and, and he was like, yo, you got shingles. I was like, what? Aren't you too young for shingles? Yeah, I think I was just wore down, like, from work, some work travel, and then, like, trying to train, too, and then having a two-year-old when I was home, so just burning the candle at both ends. And, yeah, it was wild. But I got over it, you know?

So it wasn't the end of the world i'm not like having been sick sick and wild huh i said all right good do you get shingles on your penis is it like poison oak or no no it was on my side that would that would suck okay good yeah different kind of shingles all right there we go okay bye singles. All right. Later, y'all. Okay, bye. Peace. All right. Anyway.

Mike, I hope you're able to incorporate this new shit that's going to follow you around forever. You could flip the script. You could become a champion for good. You can just start a meme account that makes fun of dwarves.

That would be cool. I was actually thinking, I saw this thing the other day, and it's a chick with this incredible body walking down the street, and when she walks by people, a guy turns around and opens his umbrella and blocks her ass ass so when the people turn around they can't see it have you seen that no so like i when i saw that i was thinking like witty i should start an account where he does that where like he walks by people and then turn around goes what are you looking at

because you know everyone wants to take a second look at a dwarf like you're just trying to like to to understand like okay you're not used to seeing those ratios. Especially kids. Kids don't give a fuck. There's like – I could – obviously just what would these people – I remember this isn't even that long ago, and he's eight. There was people at a high top eating somewhere he was on the wharf and there was a lady with down syndrome and he just walked right over to the table like he's gonna like he got he needs to see what the fuck's going on like he like you know what i mean like with all his mr t necklaces on and shit.

Did he say hi? I don't think so. I don't know what he did. Maybe. He's such a nice boy. He is, yeah. It's so funny. 127, the electric car scam.

This is great. The head of the U.S. Department of Energy to promote the electric car was going to drive across the country on a four day drive in her electric car, something like that, or across some portion of the country. A Georgia family called the police on Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm. Not to be confused with Graham Holmberg, Jennifer Granholm. After an electric vehicle charging station was blocked by a gas-powered car. This lady was doing a tour in her electric car for four days to promote electric cars,

and she would tell her staff to go ahead to the charging stations and block off a spot so she could charge her car, and they would block off those spots with gas-powered cars. Wow. That sounds right on brand. Shortly after, a family with a baby

was planning to charge their vehicle but could not due to the non-electric vehicle blocking the charger, leading them to calling the police. However, it is not illegal for non-electric vehicles to park at electric vehicle charging stations. How is that not illegal? Meaning the police could not do anything about the situation.

The energy department staff were eventually able to work things out after they sent other vehicles to slower chargers to allow the family to charge their vehicle. That sense doesn't even make sense. Yeah. They forced him to go somewhere else, basically. Holy shit, dude. Those stories like that really fucking piss me off.

It's fucking amazing. Like you pull into a handicapped spot and you jump out and you're not handicapped. And you took the spot and someone who's handicapped is waiting and blah, blah, blah. It's fucked up. But this is a lady who's – you're just being a dick or a douche or whatever this lady's actually on a tour to promote electric vehicles and she's doing this shit I wonder how much that costs

it's the same as Mike Wittius being upset at Lauren Fisher and yet he's making fun of dwarfs black people and retarded people all in one post that chick Stefan Hammer said it was inappropriate what i said on my show but then she played the clip on her channel amplifying it wow imagine me doing a show where i'm like hey this person should never say the word cunt Cunt cunt cunt cunt It's just a horrible word don't say cunt And then I just like say it like 300 times

Don't fucking cuss okay That better be a comedy show Anyway More electric vehicle scamming I don't know what 126 is I don't know But let's do it Oh this is great So you guys heard about the

alien that was found in mexico did you guys hear about this yeah they found an alien in mexico and they took it into congress uh in the mexican congress and uh here they are for the first time on the sebon podcast you're going to see them actually cut into the alien. Here you go. It's crazy that it looks just like E.T. from Steven Spielberg's movie. It's actually a cake. Wow. Wow. I didn't even know that.

Oh my god. What happens when you eat too much sugar? Your brain becomes cake everyone wants there to be aliens so bad what was that did they what did they debunk that completely or i don't know but i've heard everywhere that it was bullshit now so weird um is that a piñata look look that's bias bias that's Mexican because he's a Flores everything's a piñata

to him I don't know what that is it's a piñata everything's a piñata if you swing hard enough Mexicans just hit shit with bats I'm getting the candy yo quiero pastel pastel pastel I don't know what that means i hope you didn't make me say something dumb uh yeah hey i caught a live hey we caught another hot crossfitter on the show

uh jay hartle angels and demons are technically aliens so alright 125 this one has a beautiful title it's called hey fuck off 125 this sounds great show note titles are good okay here

holy crap this is insane this is something you'd see in a communist China not the land of the free oh this is insane this is something you'd see in a communist china not the land of the free oh this is nuts yeah i want to double down on fuck off here we go wait you're not even gonna believe this the small town of westport connecticut a drone is scanning for covid 19 symptoms and the reaction here is well mixed police have been flying drones here since 2016 for everything from traffic management to search and rescue. And they can use them to spot and warn people who are gathered too closely. But now, Dragonfly, the company that makes the drones, claims they can also detect whether

you're running a fever, sneezing, or coughing heavily, all through a single camera flying 40 feet overhead. Subtle differences are on like a millimeter type of basis. So if somebody's coughing, you know, like this or like this, it's actually quite a different type of cough actually that they're detecting. In a pandemic, we'll see the elevated temperatures. Fuck you. How about fuck you? Holy shit, dude.

How about fuck off? We shit, dude. How about fuck off? You can't even stop kids from fucking being kidnapped, but you're going to point out who has COVID down there? You can go fuck yourself. That's fucking crazy. Insane. We have people that don't even know the difference between using the name of a dog as an example to

some other name versus whether you're comparing them to the actual dog or not we live with fucking idiots you're gonna let someone make a drone and point out who has fucking covet or not holy shit we just tricked an entire planet for fucking two years thinking that the vaccine actually worked uh prevention and then we're like oops it doesn't now they're telling everybody under 65 that they shouldn't get it are they really yeah i just saw the governor of new york say everyone should get it um who's six months and older what a mess what a mess i hope my family's being smart stevan did you see the story of the former las vegas cop who was run over by two thugs while riding his bike the media said he died in a bike crash oh dude i did see that holy shit i might

have that dude did you see that yeah these two guys fucking stole a car and they have video of it i think they put it on twitter live or something and they go hey watch this and they fucking hit a guy on a bike with a stolen car and kill him you want me to play it holy shit i found it it is fucking nuts dude oh this has become a race thing too is the guy in the bike black or white he's white but they're saying reverse the races and see what happens oh because the guys in the car are black correct oh fuck how does that always happen why is it fucking become a race thing god damn it oh sorry i'm not supposed to say that phrase on the show Why has it fucking become a race thing? God damn it. Oh, sorry. I'm not supposed to say that phrase on the show.

Have I started saying that again? Those two words? The G and the D word? First time I've heard it in a while. Okay. We got rid of that early, right? First time on the show? Yeah.

Okay. We're going to record these. Fucking all the good. Ready? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hit his ass. Holy. That was like a former police chief too damn yeah it's fucked

and right before that they ran somebody else off the road like rear ended them and pushed them off the road and that post that particular post is saying that how do they even know that those dudes are black in the car did you see i i couldn't tell by looking at his hands by the way they sound by their voice you can in like the beginning of the video and like the actual beginning of the video you can see uh like the two of them in, in like the actual beginning of the video, you can see. Like the two of them in the car. Yeah.

And it's a stolen car too, right? Yeah, I think so. So basically that this person is saying, taking it like if those were white dudes that hit a black dude, this would be like a national scandal. Yeah. Did they catch those two boys that did that? I can't remember. I'll have to look oh my god dude oh my god dude

oh so fucking bad oh so fucking bad that's maybe the worst thing I've seen on this show I don't know why that bugs me so much I used to ride a bike I stopped riding a bike kind of for that reason yeah

it didn't look like the cyclist had a helmet on either. No. He was a robber. People who laugh at videos of cyclists getting hit, Democrats or Republicans. I don't know. Evil people. I don't know how that works. They separate them by political party.

Did the media really say he died in a bike crash? Is that really what they're saying? No. Oh, come on. I'm not believing that. No, they're definitely saying that he was in a hit and run. You think vindicate? Where is it written like that? I don't I'm having trouble believing that. Oh, my God.

The Palmdale deputy had a family. They had to fly them in last night to say good night before he died oh my goodness uh leo uh he died of covid jesus oh shit that is that is bad Bruce Wayne oh my goodness reparations oh geez that's what sucks about having a show full of jokes even sometimes the jokes are too dark for me geez Louise

JV team they should both be charged with murder well they have to be right yeah for sure oh fuck that would be like first degree murder stole the car planned it hit him right then watch this right hold my bing yeah for sure that's crazy what type of like you have to be lacking a lot of fucking empathy and like sympathy and like just not have that portion of your your brain like you could understand something dumb like throwing a water balloon on a car like a 13 year old like

here's the thing i'm not no one take this as I'm justifying this at all. They're young boys. Young boys do stupid shit. Young boys do really, really stupid shit. My friends and I used to sit around and just crank call people for fucking 24 hours straight. Rotary phone on a weekend. Someone's mom or dad's gone. You're fucking 14 years old and you're just crank calling, ordering and shit and just getting crazy right i mean obviously we didn't hurt anyone

we're not like hey we're coming to your house to kill you right but the level you put two 17 year old boys in a fucking car no father no direction no life they just they're looking for the next big clip i mean those those boys were shocked when they said he's not moving right they were shocked that they killed him clearly didn't fucking think that through at all like no and i'm not saying that they shouldn't be charged with murder i'm just saying like that that's and i'm not saying it's not 100 their fault but that can be avoided just because the cure for that is unrelated to them it doesn't mean it's not 100 their fault but that can be avoided just because the cure for that is unrelated to them it doesn't mean it's not 100 their fault but the cure for that is they should be playing

sports with a dad and in their life just busy in general yeah yeah yeah runs their activity or their energy out yeah something else to focus on one of the fighters in the UFC last night after he fought his wife he said he went off about fathers it was Nelson Young or something what was the guy's name something Nelson after he won the fight he took his time to be like hey we need fathers

in this fucking country clock I ran over a trash can when I was a teenager running over people same thing the clock reads 7am show start time coincidence purposeful

wow this is actually fucking a very interesting post. Think about how many bicycle accidents there were this year. Accidents. The difference here is that they were to film it. No, no. The difference here is that it was on purpose. That it's not an accident. That's just a fucked up couple of sentences.

That's how people end up getting injections by the way by the way the filming was actually um good the way they switched to the aftermath after hitting him actually the filming was actually brilliant wow i never even thought of that the filming was brilliant the way you got to see him like topple and shit. How did, who posted it and stuff? Yeah, how did it like, how did it get into the public's eye? Yeah, like how did it get from that dude's camera to the internet? Man. Yeah.

uh men and young boys with female emotional tendencies will make you kill a motherfucker for how you feel well that sums it up pretty good okay uh i do want to say this. This is just coming now. 122, we have footage of Mike Wittius actually doing – practicing what he preaches. Good on him. Here's Mike Wittius explaining the rules. We'll watch this a couple times so you guys can fully – Mike Wittius explaining to a homeless man a proper vernacular. Here we go. Action. Thank you, Mike. In God's word.

Excuse me. Actually, it's unhoused. Excuse me. Actually, it's unhoused thank you mike mike walking through uh la uh the district of homeless and drug addicts uh reminding them that the homeless is no longer part of the appropriate the pc vernacular thank you mr wittius. Whatever you think about him, the fact that he practices what he preaches is – oh, no, he doesn't. Never mind. Admirable. But he doesn't. Sorry.

Okay. The big debate, 2024. Everyone knows this is the huge, huge topic that's going to decide. How we vote. Very. Tenuous. Contentious. Contentious. Thank you. Contentious. Tenuous and contentious.

124. Should you be allowed to smoke fentanyl. On a public bus. It rages on nationwide dude hey i just want to say this for anyone who's confused like if you're like hey i don't like trump's orange hair i think he's a fucking idiot i think he's an asshole he's a racist he's just whatever you think whatever i don't like it that he he relieved that he got behind Operation Warp Speed and just anything. I think that this one topic right here is just like trumps them all. You should be like, yep, I'm voting voting Republican.

Like this is enough to just like push you over the edge. No fucking Republican would ever allow. Even the someone to smoke fentanyl or heroin on a bus or anything on a bus. You shouldn't be allowed to smoke anything on a bus. This is fucking nuts. This is under the guise of we should allow drug addicts to do drugs the connection to when they're saying like, hey. The liberals are saying, hey, it's we're not going to make two plus two four because it's racist. Do you know what they're really saying about marginalized communities when they say that they're saying that they're too dumb to do two plus two?

And this is the same thing here. This is I cannot even believe this is real. This is how is there can there even be satire anymore when this is the real world? We're living in it. Living. You're not even going to believe what you're about to see. It's not like this is far out there. They're really debating this in Seattle. And I think they're going to pass. I think they're going to allow people to smoke heroin and fentanyl on buses. Here we go. Seattle City Council member Teresa Mosqueda this week during the debate over the new drug law. There is no risk for the everyday person being exposed to secondhand opioid smoke. Eric Christensen has been a bus driver in Seattle for years. I was.

Hey, they've they're actually debating it it's not like hey i don't want my kids to see this or hey it doesn't matter whether secondhand smoke is good or not you can't smoke anything on the bus holy here we go i here we go this is unreal here we go great that's how we felt when health officials and transit leadership used the new UW study to publicly claim there was little to no risk from drug smoke exposure on board. From the public health perspective, the risk is minimal to negligible, both to operators as well as riders. You've got to have long-term data, and they don't have that. They didn't even test the drivers. Multiple drivers have reported headaches and illness after being exposed to fentanyl smoke. I have twice been taken off the bus because of headaches, nausea. You know what this turns into? You think I'm joking,

but this turns into the debate on whether you should be allowed to rape children or not. Well, there's no long-term study that it hurts children it's like what the fuck are we debating holy shit isn't it isn't fentanyl and opiates illegal how about having a business i don't think so there how about the fact that just like hey you don't want anyone on meth around your kids or in public what about just like hey you shouldn't be high on meth i'm in public it's a good place to start i don't like i don't get like this makes it like wow this is truly this is satire right yeah it has to be the guys arguing with them well there are actual studies like dude that like

why do we even have to go to the studies why can't we just be like now we're not going to let people burn or smoke anything in an enclosed area and then close there dude i don't think you're allowed in california to smoke in your car if you have kids in there i think that you can it's against the law i don't think you're allowed to smoke in your car in California if you have kids in the car. I never heard that. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Are you looking that up, Caleb? Are you allowed to smoke in the car?

Did you see what Oregon is doing now too? Kids. No, what are they doing? Oh, yeah, here you go this bill prohibits smoking in a car parked or moving when a child less than 18 years old is in the car yeah but they're debating in Seattle

this is un-fucking-believable yeah Tommy Payne yeah you can't smoke cigarettes in your home in some places yeah in California we have some rules on that too uh Chester uh the loke lecky uh retarded yes it is retarded that is retarded I think even Whittius would get behind that he doesn't want anyone smoking meth.

Mike, Mike, isn't that cool? Like we don't even have any problems compared to this, Mikey. Mr. Whitties, imagine if our kids had to ride a bus with someone smoking fentanyl on it and our government officials. I looked into this, Caleb. I this is this is a new new Oregon law removes reading and writing math requirements to help students of color. Yeah. Dear black people, Governor Kate Brown thinks you're too stupid to do math and reading. But this happened two years ago. Oh, sorry. Sorry, black people. You don't have a monopoly on it.

It's also indigenous people. That's like Native Americans. Asians. Casinos. Casinos not. How are you doing today? That's like Native Americans. Asians. How are you doing today? That's Asian. Pacific Islander. Tribal and students of color.

Asian. Get the fuck out of here. Asians. Asians have no problem with math. A fucking. Boys. Boys in general have problem with math. A fucking. Boys, boys in general have problems with math. Yeah. I had problems with tests.

Just would fucking make up the answers on them. Standardized testing. It doesn't count towards your grade. Cool. Be out of here in 20 minutes. Peace. Meyer Coleman. Wow, this is so weird weird I know this show is weird

but this is even weirder Sevan I need to tell you something yes that's a 51 year old me talking to a 12 year old me when you're 51 years old, a dwarf is going to try to cancel you. What?

You want to play Atari with me? Yeah. There's going to be this thing called the internet. And, oh, fuck it. Yeah, I'll play Atari with you. there's gonna be this thing called the internet and oh fuck it yeah I'll play Atari with you there was this movie called Time Bandits I saw it like 20 times

I saw like war games like 100 times do you know Time Bandits kids in his bedroom and there's a closet this closet lets it so he travels through time i think he travels with midgets it's a great fucking movie i thought i loved it so good i fucking loved that movie. I loved that ship that they were on. Dude, Hiller got called out on his... Hiller got called out on YouTube because he had

the characters wrong in Lord of the Rings or something. I guess a dwarf gets thrown over a fence or something, or a wall, and Hiller had quoted it wrong. He said that Sousa threw the dwarf over the wall when it was really caleb i was really i wonder if that hurt him that he had his movie somebody fucked

him up yeah either way the dwarf was thrown over the wall but it was like uh i don't know why but when he said he spray painted the dead trees, I seriously was laughing so hard. Grace is like, what are you laughing at? I was like, Hiller spray painted these dead trees. So Alexis wouldn't be upset. You can just see him out there like spray painting. That's the thing, too. I would like to seriously propose that Hiller's on the spectrum.

Like, hey, guys, adaptive class, he's one of you. Like, what are you doing? Like, embrace him. It's fucking weird. He's not normal. Anyone who's hung out with him, he's not normal. I remember I told you before he has no um uh like uh he he doesn't uh um what's the word i'm looking for he's sterile i don't know how to say it i don't want to say

he doesn't have a vibe but hillar's uh, I don't know. I feel free around him. He's, he, he's, I don't know what the word is. Someone come up with it. Someone,

someone in the ice fluid, someone, maybe just some slight Asperger's. Yeah. Something. Yeah. And he's really smart too. Yeah.

Something's like, yeah. Speaking of Asperger's here's Mr. Watkins really smart too yeah something's like yeah speaking of asperger's here's mr watkins have you forgotten about his eye adapted for sure it may be the next adaptation in human species but adapted unless no i his eye was fine until he sprayed those bushes with that hour spray painting those bushes and one of his eyes fucking got fucked up not stoic paulina something's he, he just, he's... Nah, I don't know if it's stoic. Like he doesn't have a hum to him.

You know like how some, you know like you turn on, like if you put your ear next to an electric socket, you can hear it like the electricity humming in there. Hiller doesn't have a hum to him. He's like, he's silent. He's like the squishy wheels on a skateboard, not like the street wheels. I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. I used to talk about it before when I first

hung out with him. No, not vanilla. Not retarded. Special, for sure. He's definitely special. It's true. Sprayed his bushes with green spray paint. Hey, dude. His commitment's on another level. spray paint hey dude

his commitments on another level you do steroids and tell the whole world and start making videos about it and then you get off so that you can start seeing what your body looks like so then you can start looking around and seeing who got on and who's getting off and use yourself as a study

fuck dude that's you don't think that dude's gonna be even more successful than he already is you're out of your fucking mind there's a commitment there that's fucking like other level i'm glad that we got a front row seat to that shit this is crazy this is fucking that look at 123 Have you seen this girl with Down syndrome doing the TikTok dance? Yes. Have you read the comments? Yes.

Oh, my God. You might not like this. Oh, no. Oh, no. Look at someone called her a RILF. Oh. I cannot. rilf oh i cannot these comments are crazy what's her at homosexual homosexual

got it to nerf her oh my goodness syndrome down bricked up if anything it's discriminated discriminatory not to hit oh the comments are absolutely savage oh my goodness Oh my goodness I got this I got this new way of dealing with DMs I used to try to do every DM

So scroll all the way to the bottom And work my way up Now I just whatever the last 10 are That's where I stay Is that better? Turntable Hey what's up You're one of the inspirations for me trying to get my kids outdoor more i had my autistic son outdoors for nine hours yesterday he's been outside playing

for two hours already today dude i fucking love that i made this video yesterday turntable that i didn't post but i was so my kids yesterday it was um i took them to jujitsu in the morning. They did a two hour training. Then they came home and they literally just played. Until the sun went down and then they watched a movie outside, inside, like nothing like and I was just just doing my own thing, cleaning up the yard, trying to get a hold of Sousa, texting funny stories about Mike Wittius just shit like that

I was so proud of my kids that they played I know that feeling I'm so happy for you too that's awesome 9 hours yeah dude outside they're outside animals totally this guy's written a lot of books they have it in Apple books

I got the audio book. I'll see if I can find it. Unvaccinated. Is it Grand Bois? I want to say the guy's name started with an F. Let me see. Book. It's Forrest.

The guy's name is Forrest Moretti. F-O-R-R-E-S-T Moretti. M-A-R-E-A-D-Y. Forrest Moretti. He's written a bunch of books. Basically, he's... Unfortunately, I think he's an expert because he had some bad shit happen to him.

That's usually what happens, right? Yeah, usually the parents go on a mission, make it their life work. Hiller just sent us a photo of the bushes. You think he's cool with me pulling it up? I don't know. It doesn't really identify anything around.

That's pretty damn funny. How come I can't know if it doesn't really identify anything around. But that's pretty damn funny. Oh, damn. How come I can't see it? It's all the thread. Oh, jeez. Wow. If you see it, you could... To be honest, it's like a really shitty bush, too.

I know. You could just chop it down. Hey, that's the origin story for his eye. He got some green spray paint in it. Yeah, he's fine showing that. Yeah. Okay, I'll fold up. Damn.

Damn, damn, damn. Hey, when Mike Wittius is like, that story's long gone, we got to still always reference the green bush. Hey dude, that thing needs another coat. Yeah. It's not dead. It's obviously not dead.

It started to grow out. Where? You think that green on there is new grow out? Oh, you mean it grew out after? That's what the brown is? I know. I was wondering that too.

I bet you it was all green and then now it started to grow. What do you think about those lights he has there i've always tempted to buy them but i'm always like i'm gonna regret putting those up i like yeah we have some in our like screened in patio we like them yeah i have some on my balcony just run across the bottom i get mad at my kids so much uh so so the the number of times and the ferocity in my anger when i get mad at my kids is way less when we're outside uh philip kelly that's my kids playing outside all day i can't get them to sit and watch a movie that's boring to my kids yeah that's awesome one One of my kids loves movies, unfortunately.

Loves the TV. Like, if you just turn it on, I'll just fuck with him. I'll turn it on and he'll just be like... I'm like, oh, fuck. Hiller, some advice for you from the chat make sure you trim your bush okay yeah so

the thing I was just going to show you about that about the disabled thing is those people just that was just my takeaway just remember that the disabled thing is those people just – that was just my takeaway. Just remember that. Being mentally challenged is fucked up because you – everyone wants intimacy. 121 man versus woman. Great jiu-jitsu match. I wonder what you think of this, Sousa.

Sousa, is there a video of you doing the wedding? Yeah, I think there is so this is a dude on the left this is a man which one the one on the left is a man the hot one in the yellow is a chick oh fuck 200 pounds versus 135 The hot one in the yellow is a chick. Oh, fuck.

200 pounds versus 135. Nice. Nice. What the fuck? That hand control was dope. Oh, shit. Nice. It's done.

Choke him out. Damn. I like how she doesn't stop when he taps. That's fucking... No. Hold it for a second. Hey, dude, you're a piece of shit, dude. You're a fucking piece of shit sorry not

sorry great example of who gets you too for sure and the other one was just more skilled almost looks like right here she got a little nervous how are you let how are you look at those old guys doing jiu-jitsu over there oh shit just rubbing heads with somebody hey the madalena fight was crazy last night

jack is so good i wonder if jack was inspired by um uh strickland man jack was good last night who did you guys watch it i didn't get a chance to oh dude kevin holland's good that jack's now on the next level that's it jack's he did it he crossed over kevin holland he beat kevin holland last night he's a vet that's good crazy uh go to the He's a vet. That's good. Crazy. Go to the girl's yellow page. She's super hot. Of course you'd say that, Wadzombie. What is it?

We'll go to it. I don't know. What's her name? What's her hat? I'd like to interview her. She's not tagged in the video itself. Hey, I'm wondering someone was saying someone in the comments was saying that

oh there were some really another crazy thing that's happening to Mike Wittius that this is a little concerning is basically you know like if you wherever their shit flies go Right

Wherever there's a corpse Maggots come Vultures come Hyenas come You know that phenomenon Oh yeah she's hot I love her hair What is her

How many followers does she have is this a big crazy account wow 185 on tiktok she's college girl ucla graduating this year oh so she's probably indoctrinated she's probably cool fighting dudes hey i want to see that being slapped by a grown woman let me see that let me see let me see that being slapped by a grown woman. Let me see that. Let me see that one. Is that a man or a woman interviewing? I've never been slapped by a grown man before. I don't know how.

How do you feel being slapped by a grown woman? Would you like that? I wouldn't like being slapped at all. How would you like being slapped? I don't depend on you slapping me. What? slapped at all. How would you like being slapped? I don't depend on who's slapping me.

Oh, she is. Oh, sheesh. All right. Kinkster, jujitsu. This is why people think we're weird. Okay. This then goes back to, do you think we're over-sexualizing when we're like... Jesus.

Who's slapping me? Who's slapping me oh i don't i don't think i want to be slapped at all i don't think that's i don't think i like any of that but apparently taylor mora it depends who's slapping her before you get canceled before you get canceled um bricked up there were some interesting comments so when you throw shit on the ground

flies come and unfortunately that's what's happened right so there's other people it's a very small amount but there's other people who have the same obviously mental sickness that Mr. Swoosh has and so they're being drawn to him, right? So like if you're – I mean to use the example in sports, if you're into squirrel – you know squirrel suits and squirrel jumping?

Like that ends up leading to death. Eventually those dudes all die. You either quit or you die. There's not like – no one's retired. People don't retire from that sport. But they're all attracted to each other. And when you're a drug addict, same thing. Fentanyl users, they're all attracted to each other. There's no way out. You either quit and leave the group or you die.

There's no one who quits and stays and is like, hey, guys, you should quit. It's not like that. And so all the people coming to this guy wittiest in his defense they're all other people who are defending their psychological impairment their inability to think they're they're they're just confused right so it becomes this sort of congregation of the sick right you have shit and then all the flies are coming are attracted to it no one's coming to clean up the shit and i was um and there's been some comments there that just show people like how stupid they are like the people who think that um hillar was comparing him to a dog like hey dude you totally fucking missed the point 100 uh but i saw this one and

i thought this was funny um do you think if i'm if i compared this guy to a chimpanzee would you say it's racist 119 if i told you hey this guy looks like a chimpanzee would it be racist depends does he look like the chimpanzee he looks he does look like a chimpanzee sure does oh wait till you see this i'm not sure this is real by the way i can't tell if this is like some after effects shit but if i told you that this guy looked like a chimpanzee would that be racist he has characteristics of what we imagine right because chimps can do that with their feet yeah he's got two feet that resemble more hands than they do feet he's got a lot more he has like opposable thumbs on his feet yeah that's crazy and yet and yet and yet if if that was a black if those were

black feet and i said hey it's a chimpanzee would that be racist some wouldn't consider it racist yes and it's because chimpanzees are black and black people are black it's because of the color i don't know which leap they make i just know that yeah somewhere they have to make the leap right and so you said it they you have to fucking make the leap don't point at it don't point at us you're the one making the fucking leap and then even if someone does make the leap then you still have to choose to be offended like someone just made the leap to be turned on by those feet too yeah totally right i'm having trouble with those feet though freaking me out a little bit yeah yeah i'm having so much trouble believing that's real i think that that's some sort of cgi

most likely uh paper street coffee wow very good great question can he still use toe spacers you'll have to use the one that doesn't have the last hole the four piece when are those people gonna make toe spacers that have levels yeah that's interesting like widths like belt colors white belt blue belt purple belt work your way up to the black belt that'd be the one salon uses black belt it's got like an inch space between the oral belt where are my toe spacers out here there hey um when um you know when you're in a position of authority like people want to fuck you like they want to fuck the teacher or the waiter everybody loves that status did anyone want to fuck you like they want to fuck the teacher or the waiter. Everybody loves that status.

Did anyone want to bang you? Did you get one after you officiated the wedding? For those of you who don't know, Sousa officiated a wedding this past weekend. Friday. Friday. I don't know about that, but a lot of people did come up and talk. Way more people talked to me in the wedding

than I would have ever talked to had I just been a guest. Yeah. You know what I mean? Were any old ladies flirtatious with you? Like it became safe to be flirtatious with you? By old, I mean like your age and older, like 40 and up. I know the answer to this, be careful be honest i know the answer not because we've talked but i know how bitches get old ladies get at

fucking weddings get a drink and they think they can fucking get all handy with anybody you're so funny yeah the joke was that i was telling people to call me father matthew that day you know and a lot and a lot of them were like, Oh, but can I call you daddy, daddy, Matt? And I was like, only for another eight hours. Hey, do you think that your wife found you more attractive after that? Like you kind of like, like, like all status up there. Yeah. You know, maybe she was probably more nervous for me than anything,

but when you were done, like kind of proud of you and kind of like, Yeah, you know. Maybe. She was probably more nervous for me than anything. But when you were done, like, kind of proud of you and kind of like – Oh, yeah, super stoked afterwards. Yeah. Especially, too, because most importantly, what was most important to me was that the bride and the groom were, like, really, really happy with how I did it. Because they wanted it to be, like, light and fun and energetic. So, like, I had a little – like, I had, like, a lot of heartfelt stuff in there. But every so often, I would, like, end like a lot of heartfelt stuff in there but every every so often i would like end it on a punch line you know so there was a piece when i went um and i broke it

down and i was like hey do you think we'll get to see it on the show i don't know if i can get myself to watch it dude and then have to maybe i just say live and i'll watch it one day when you're not here yeah that's probably how long is it my portion of it is only about four minutes and then it gets like a marriage stuff they wanted to keep the whole thing they want you can drag that onto a 20 piece 20 minute segment dude you usually could because it's in a three parts and i i started by first just addressing the audience and then I basically go into it saying like, so after they asked me, I was like deeply honored and excited and then struck with horrifyingly paralyzing anxiety. And I say, so then I went to YouTube to watch wedding ceremony footage as anybody would do.

And I said, and it's got four parts to it. Every great officiant has four parts. So then I start going through the parts. But in the last one, I say, talk a little bit about the framework of marriage and then i say and see i'm highly qualified to talk on this being an expert myself being married 363 days and i got a good chuckle then i went through today your anniversary yeah oh one year congrats dude yeah thanks so then um at the end of it i i do this speech or the the last portion i say, you know, you hear the word compromise a lot in marriage. And I said, but I don't necessarily agree with that.

I think the word should be understanding because when you compromise, one person's having to give something up for the other person to be happy. And I say, but when you understand it, it's not necessarily giving up. You're just understanding what's important to your partner, what their needs are. I said, so when you understand, you're going to realize that Ashley was right all along and like hooked it as a little like punchline right at the end. And then that ended it.

So it was good. All my, all the stuff like hit and it was heartfelt and the bride and groom were super happy with how it went. So that was what was most important to me. They were, would they tell you if they weren't? I would know if they were lying because I've known both of them for a long time. Yeah.

Yeah. That's good. Oh, what about cell phones and like, like coffers and shit like that in the audience? Any cell phones go off during your. No, because I had a little like pre like talk before I, before the ceremony officially started, I went out there and like, we were kind of talking about it after the show and you're like, yeah,

you're kind of like a duck, like, like shaking the water off before it started. So I did that. And I just said like, you know, Hey, how's everybody doing? And I said, yeah. And I said, yeah, you're kind of like a duck, like, like shaking the water off before it started. So I did that. And I just said, like, you know, hey, how's everybody doing? And they said, yeah. And I said, hey, what we're going to do real quick is have everybody stand up. Everybody stand up. The Biden group, everybody take a photo with each other, shake hands, get to know each other. We want to have a good time, have a party tonight.

And then they, when they sat down, I said, okay, great. Now tuck your cell phones away. We don't want to hear and we don't want to see them. Hey, what about um did anyone afterwards like try to big dick you oh i've done many wedding uh ceremonies you did a pretty good job yeah yeah no way a couple people out to jake scott flow they're like hey you did great i was like thanks they're like and that's coming from me i've done like five of these and i'm like oh they're like how long have you been doing this for? And I was like, one and done.

So fucking predictable. God, my life, a bunch of fucking robots in the matrix. It was great, but it was also fun too, because this has taken up a lot of, um,

headspace for like the last couple of weeks. Like no joke, I would wake up and now, you know, I have a relatively busy schedule. And so I'd wake up and the first thing that just would enter my mind and I would just be like, fuck, this wedding is riding on your shoulders.

And then trying to juggle to sit down to actually start to go through and really comb through. And I combed through that speech so many times that I refined each line and made sure that each one had some sort of, for lack of better words, value to it. There wasn't just a lot of fluff words in there or saying things just to say them. And so it just, it was a lot because, you know, the whole thing's riding on you.

So as it got closer and closer, that kind of built and built. And yeah. So as soon as it was done, it was like this crazy high. I was like, yes, I did it. I'd like to make a public service message regarding weddings and special events when you go to a special event

like a wedding or church as a man across the board 100% of the time the men get there and they look better than any other time you've ever seen them. Men don't show up at weddings looking worse than they did earlier in the day or they did at work or they did last week. They don't show up at special events looking worse. They clean up, they take a shower, they shave, they put on some clothes that fit that are clean. 100% of the time, women, you're not even 50%. Half of you show up to a fucking event looking like some sort of freak that fell out of a fucking Batman movie. You have too much fucking makeup on, you're trying to wear some fucking clothes

you shouldn't be wearing. You have some dipshit do your fucking hair. You look like a fucking clown, 51% of you. We like you. If you're a chick and you're attractive, go to the CrossFit gym, work out, and then just go straight to the wedding. No one's going to say shit to you.

We fucking love you. Stop doing dumb shit these fucking news commentators no one wants your teeth so white that we can't stop staring at them like dude your teeth are now blue like that non-fat milk fucking nuts especially you brides holy shit oh my god you look beautiful fuck happened to you

did you get in a fight with a box of crayons whooped your ass everyone knows it's true hey that makeup artist gotta make their money somewhere holy shit ladies don't be trying no crazy shit don't wear weird shit with your titties, low cut, high cut. Like, just be cool.

Just be cool. Whatever you wore to the cross-country, we fucking love you. We don't need you doing crazy shit. Pair of lulus, pair of jeans. You want to go big, Get a new bra or something. Something we don't even see. Don't try to wear shoes, high heels for the first time. Make yourself look all fucked up like a giraffe.

Just be cool. I don't know why fucking women do that to themselves. No one's fighting back. Look it. No one in the comments is like, well, that's fucked up. Everyone's like, well. Dude, we love you. Fuck you.

You could be on your last breath and we'll give you the dick. We love you. You don't need to do much. That's great. Yeah. Mike McCaskey or more gently put from Mike McCaskey or more gently put from Mike McCaskey I appreciate a woman who puts in effort but not overdone

yeah and I don't need perfume listen I want to tell you something else about a real man my wife will be like do I smell and I've been with my wife for over 20 years and I've never smelled anything bad on her. I, like, the more, like, I can just stick my nose in her armpit, and I get erect.

I don't even know what it is. I'm not, like, I'm turned on. It's not sexual. It's a straight chemical fucking reaction. Yeah, it's true, right, Caleb? Look, Caleb and I don't agree on all the girl shit. I can just take my nose and just rub it like that in my chick's armpit, and I'm fucking hard.

Real men, like, we don't want to smell your perfumes, your soaps. Like, we're predisposed to just want to eat you. That's it. When my wife's gone, like, when she's on shift, and I'm, like, sleeping by myself in the bed, I'll, like, catch this whiff us with of like her side of the bed. Yeah. I'm like, fuck, I wish.

Yeah. Yeah. Bricked up. Yeah. It's crazy. We don't even know what the fuck's going on. It's not even like we like it or don't like it. We're just.

It's like a dog. It just hears a whistle. Healthy men just. Oh, yeah. Yeah yeah I detest a man doused in cologne yeah find a woman that likes your smell and you like her smell and you're fucking good uh this is

now in the same basket as the Alatoid drafts no no way no no way uh Bernie Gannon this is all true but seve can stick his nose in someone's armpit from three feet away it's fucked up bernie damn what is my armpit his nose into my armpit where does bernie work i'm gonna make a call oh yeah olivia oh my husband loves it when i get done working out turns them on so strange dude

i'm fucking i i hover around the garage when my wife's working out hover like a kid under a pinata hover just waiting to use your stick. Waiting to take a swing. That's right. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so big show today. We showed a white guy that looks like a chimpanzee.

Fucking just breaking all sorts of barriers. Barriers today. Oh yeah, I did have the killed cyclist. Okay, I'm erasing that. God, I didn't realize that was going to affect me like that. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. This episode is brought to you by PC Optimum. If you like a curated playlist, why not try a curated grocery list? With Swap and Save, the new feature in the PC Optimum app, you'll get PC Optimum's best price for your grocery items. Simply add products to your shopping list in the app, and it'll show you similar items at a lower cost.

Add coffee to your list, then swap it for one that's cheaper. Craving chips? The app will suggest some on sale. To get started, just open the app it's as easy as that see the pc optimum app for details did you ever did you did you any lines in the wedding that you said that fell flat that you were like oh or did were there any times where you got knocked off your rocker and you're like okay get back on get back on or did it no luckily no luckily every little piece that i did in um the groomsmen there was two guys that came out and i started walking over to where the wedding

ceremony was going to be pre anybody getting there you know the chairs and everything were set so i grabbed my binder and i walked over there how i was going to and was going to open up and read through with nobody out there and um they saw me headed there and they're like hey you're gonna go practice and i was like yeah they're like can we, you're going to go practice. And I was like, yeah, like, can we come? And I was like, sure. And so they stood in front of me like I was like marrying them. And I got to run through pretty much the whole thing. And so they asked if they could come, but then you ended up using them as props. Yeah. At first, were you like, yeah, but in your head, you're like fucking assholes.

Yeah, I was kind of like, oh, shit, I didn't really want to. And then as they walked over, one of the guys was like, all right, we doing this? And I was like, actually, yeah, stay in there. And then he was like, oh. And they literally stood and faced each other while I ran through the whole thing. And they were the first ones. I mean, Grace has heard it so many times at nauseam.

It's not really looking for reactions out of her. So these were the first people that have heard it outside of Grace and I. And so they were cracking up. And I like halfway through and they're like hey they're like can we hear the rest of it afterwards like i i want to like react to this when we're like at the spot and i was like or when it's going down i was like yeah dude they're like it's good and i was like thanks man like i said i'm i fucking i probably put

two hours dude 30 hours into this? I know you did. I was talking to you all week. I know you did. Yeah, like I was – Came up in every conversation we had, yeah. Yeah, and it was so funny. People at the gym were so fucking sick of it because I'd start a class, and I'd be like, ladies and gentlemen, friends and family,

thank you for being here today to witness the union of these two beautiful souls. And they're like, fuck, over the start. Because that was the weirdest part. Yeah, you just have to break the union of these two beautiful souls and they're like fuck over the stuff because that was the weirdest practicing yeah you just have to break the ice then once i got into it and it was like fine but committed do it do what is it uh so those guys are married now yeah they are uh it was deputized how you do how you do anything is how you do everything. I mean, that sums you up. Yeah. Yeah, like I wasn't going to let them down. I wasn't going to let them down.

I owed it to the audience to fucking be professional, quote unquote. And what I mean by that is just have so much practice that I could do it no matter what happens. A bird comes down and swoops grandma's wig away. I could like stay focused and nail it. And then have the speech memorized enough to where I could incorporate that into the speech to make it funny and to break the tension and then get right back into it. Like that's how I wanted to like practice the material. Seve, don't go to Santa Cruz on me.

Joe West, I'm going to tell you something I'm going to admit to you. You know, like people think like they're wearing a mask, so they're better than other people and like like i think because i'm or like there's certain thing manly shit men can do like use gas powered tools and shit or like i don't know work on a car i think because of my attraction towards women is so grounded in just. The lowest common denominator of what makes them women, it makes me better than most men. There I said it.

Like I, I can't have rolled his eyes at me. The fact that like. I just like that I'm that I'm into cave women just makes it's like it's like my little piece of like, okay, yeah, I'm a man. That's all I got, that little piece. The way they smell, I don't need them all dolled up. I'm just a, at my root, I'm just a man. Just to crawl out from underneath a rock and when the sun comes up and look for a woman.

Joe Westland, this gives me a business idea. I think our finest flowmaster might make a killing officiating weddings. Oh. There you go. Okay, number 20. A 20 doesn't have a... Oh, we already did that. That's the woman.

What about a... Oh, shit. Wow. Wow. This one's nuts. This one could get us a ding. This one is nuts, dude. This one is nuts.

117. Holy shit. Brace yourself brace yourself if you have a tv step in close people this one is nuts this is not for everybody yeah we're gonna get a ding for this for sure we've never shown anything like this on the show this is is crazy, dude. I can't even look. I don't even know what's happening. This is crazy. Oh, dude. Is this on Instagram? Yeah, this is.

Okay. A birth requires you, the badass mother birther, birth requires you to see yourself as the primary source of care and safety for your baby. Stepping in to take radical responsibility over your birth and decisions is a vital component of safety and satisfaction. This is amazing. Go ahead, hit play. This chick is so

fucking hot too. Do I need the audio? No, you don't need the audio. Yeah, you can do the audio. I don't think there's music. You can do the audio. It's great. It's cool. Do you see the baby? Look at her. She's milking. This is crazy.

The husband's panicking. Oh, she had to pull the umbilical cord off. The umbilical cord was wrapped around its neck. It's a baby. It's a baby. It's a baby. This part's going to stress you out, Caleb. This part's really going to stress you out.

I hate this part. This part's really going to stress you out. He's not crying. Eric Weiss. Oh, the husband just said the baby's not crying. She's like, it's okay. I don't know. I'm stressing. He's great the baby's not crying. She's like, it's okay. Are you opening his eyes? I don't know. I'm stressing.

Are you okay? Yeah, he's great. It's a baby. It's a baby. It's a baby. Hi. Hi. It's a baby.

Look. Look at him get so pink. Oh, my God. My skin's tingling. It's a baby. You're get so pink. Oh my God. My skin's tingling. Did you see it looked up at its mom? Did you see that? Yeah. Oh my God.

Oh my God. oh my god i fucking hate that shit rambler where's the blood i know that shit's stressful i was watching that i'm like oh god oh god how come the baby's not making noise but she knew i fucking hate that when i would give um uh shots to some babies they would like just stop breathing and like when my brother was younger he did that and he would just he just stopped breathing for like a long time we ended up having to take him to the hospital and that shit fucking stressed me out so much i hate when i hate when babies stop crying or like don't breathe because i just like fuck yeah that was great once the baby started crying i felt so much better uh mike mccaskey need to aspirate him smack him yeah that's what i mean that's what you see kind of

in the um that's what you see like doctors do they start rubbing on him and shit really hard yeah that situation is not warm dry stem oh what did you say susan i said that situation is not for me that was terrifying were you thinking the same thing like oh shit is the baby gonna make it yeah yeah it was fucking gray it's like yeah yeah it takes a long time to actually pink up yeah and i've never seen that before so i don't know the timeline there just didn't look good And I've never seen that before, so I don't know. The timeline there just didn't look good. Yeah, it's normal, but it's stressful for sure.

Rambler, is that how you deliver puppies too? Exactly. Puppies, kittens, all the things. Man. September 17th, 2023, the first birth on the Sebon podcast. I'm that quintessential character that passes out trying to watch. I don't know why this next clip is so good. Someone sent me this and I was

just mesmerized by it. 116 UFC, mesmerized by it. I would love to do this. I wonder how many takes this takes. This is nuts. Now Pineda's stalking here late in the round. There's that.

Oh, that one hurt him. That one hurt him. He saw him buckle with that low kick. He's going to limit him to salt, Paul. Again. That hit is so dang good. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! He got him bad. He got him bad. He got him bad. Can finally have a play to win over Alex Pineda, who's out cold. Wow, he did it. Oh, my goodness.

He got him bad. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Oh, my goodness. I respect the power coming back in his way And he paid for it Oh my goodness Mission accomplished

The last stylebender That might be one of the greatest KOs I've ever seen in my life If you're a UFC fan You can't even believe that guy does Joe Rogan So good It's crazy. I like it when new people have you ever seen this person comment? I like it when new people comment. No.

Just some guy sitting on a fence. It's going to be me soon. Looks like he's on the set of Jackass watching one of his buddies get like thrown by a bull. I caught my baby thanks to hearing a call-in birth story. Oh, on this show? That's awesome, dude. I was terrified, but it was awesome.

Yeah, good job. The Rogan character needs a bald wig. What did you say, Caleb? One of my really good friends did it for his baby, too. They even had the same thing with the cord wrapped around the neck like nuchal cord and he was like removed it and like did everything it was really cool when um uh my last kid was born the second i think it was the second twin bilical cord was wrapped around his neck and i'm like hey the bilical cord's wrapped around his neck and she takes it off and then it was there was twin. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. I'm like, hey, the umbilical cord's wrapped around his neck.

She takes it off. Then it was wrapped around twice and there was another one. I'm like, whoa, just cut it. She's like, no, it's okay. I'm yelling. Cut it. Adding nothing but noises and chaos to the situation. Cut it. Everybody stay calm. It wasn't like I was far away from it either.

It was like I was right there, like the vagina and the baby's right there. And I was just all up in there, shit. Yo, front row seat. It was great. Okay, well, this is number 115. Brace yourself. This is, wow, we're on a roll today. This is quite the juxtaposition of clips. This is more baby talk. I don't know how you process this one. I had trouble processing this. I don't know what the fuck is going on. Good luck processing this one, guys. Here we go. we go. She chose to undergo surrogacy. She chose to be a surrogate, meaning she chose to effectively rent her womb to others to bring a life into the world. This woman's name was Brittany Pearson.

Brittany Pearson was about 23 weeks pregnant when she discovered that she had cancer and she needed to undergo cancer treatments. And she didn't want to put the baby's life at risk because chemotherapy and other treatments could be harmful to the developing baby in her womb. So she contacted the two men and she said, I would like to find a way to deliver this baby soon. It would be a preemie, but we could care for this baby in NICU and make sure that this baby is safe. And the two men said, because it was their contracted right in the state of California, said, no, we don't want to deal with the NICU baby. They have health issues sometimes. So Brittany said, okay, well, I'll adopt the baby or I'll find someone to adopt the baby because they said, well, you should just abort. And she said, no, I'm not going to abort. I don't want to do that. But one of the men said, that's my DNA.

I don't want that DNA out in the world. And so they demanded that Brittany have the abortion. She refused, but she ultimately would deliver that baby at 25 weeks old, delivered this baby in a California hospital. And because of the demands of the parents this baby was left to die a woman chose you follow that so i guess the dads were like hey don't don't perform i guess you can do that as a parent you can say hey don't give my baby life- a premature baby life saving um interventions yeah thank you interventions or treatment and the baby died i don't know how true that story is but dude that's the kind of shit you

hear about happening in california it's fucking nuts dude i heard it explained the other way i unfortunately lost the clip that basically this is a form of age aborting babies and this kind of behavior is like ageist it's basically saying that a human being is too young to get the rights of the constitution that you know they're sexist and there's racist and there's but that it's basically um uh ageist yeah and eric weiss if you want to lump it up yeah yeah, those dudes are probably Democrats. There's probably a disproportional amount of people who are Democrats who think it's OK to do that. And the arguments they have are like, hey, well, this baby would grow up and be

not have a loving home. And so therefore you kill it. Arguments that don't hold any water to me lots of people don't have uh loving homes that's a tough one right yeah also too like the ages thing like when does it kick in then when do you have in california they want to make it seven days after the baby's born. Seven days? After it's born. Meaning that if a baby's born and it dies within the seven days of being born, they're trying to pass a law where you can't investigate the death of the baby. Ooh, I don't like that.

That's crazy. Well, basically what you're doing is you're saying it's okay to murder a baby. As long as it's within 7 days yeah wow dick butter I'm sick I know it's crazy oh yeah Sean has a good point so then technically if you were into some weird fucking demonic shit you could have your kid and then have

like some crazy sacrifice shit go down and then the state won't even investigate it and do you know what the reason why the the proponents of this law are saying the reason why that they're trying to pass the law is the intention isn't to allow people to kill babies the intention is if the parents are on meth or on heroin or some sort of drug that ends up causing the baby to die after it's born that the parents won't be responsible like that doesn't uh that's also fucking bullshit yeah that's also i know it's like yeah the fuck is going on wow yeah it should make you sad it should make you sad that's healthy that's a healthy reaction yeah uh i've never seen that guy i've never seen that guy comment before either

yeah we got a couple newbies new commenters it's good this is a safe space guys comment away and subscribe and subscribe and like please oh shit I cannot believe the oh this is great god I can't believe how fucking how

in sync this show is today 113 this in my mind this is a lady with kids wearing no makeup versus a woman who's dolled herself up this is a battle between those two in my mind I probably a lot of you

aren't going to see it that way, but that's the way I see it. I see this as a woman with kids who's not all dolled up versus a woman who's all dolled up. Okay, here we go. Why F us? Don't videotape me. I did not consent to be videotaped. You're walking around with his speech.

You're actively... So this chick has gone through some effort to get some sort of asymmetrical haircut. She's put some effort, significant effort into her hair. She has all sorts of tattoos. She has like fitness clothes on and shit. Okay, here we go. Action. Be promoting anti-trans agenda by walking around with that.

Like, you know what you're doing. Children cannot consent to puberty blockers. Children under the age of 18, you disagree with the sign? I 100% disagree with the sign. It is really critical to trust people at any age that they know what's going on. Yeah. So here's why I agree with this. I'm a mother of four and I think children, there's a lot of things they can't consent to that we all agree on. They can't consent to getting married, signing up for the military, getting a tattoo. We all kind of agree that these are things that children are not equipped emotionally or mentally to understand long-term consequences, so we don't allow them to do that. So to me,

a puberty blocker is something that will create long-term changes and issues for the child that they might one day regret. Those two boys, that's what I was trying to say about those two boys who hit that guy in the car. As crazy as that does seem to some people, if you were a young, mischievous boy like I was, we never thought of consequences. I never, never once. I didn't even know. Here's the thing. Not only did I not think never once. I didn't even know. Here's the thing. Not only did I not think about them, I didn't know how to think about them. I didn't know how to think about them.

I don't know if you guys remember once, but Sousa gave this fucking awesome little fucking lecture on the podcast about how that's how alcohol works. It makes it from, hey, if I fuck this chick right now at the bar it could ruin my wife my relationship with my wife and my five kids and destroy my whole family and then two drinks later you it goes away because you stop being able alcohol makes it so you can't think um uh more than five minutes down the road into your future and five minutes down your future you're ejaculating on her back and there's your kids and wife are nowhere around that's why you gotta stay drunk all the time damn uh it's fucking nuts dude hey this whole thing this whole thing uh i don't know if you shouldn't let people who don't have kids vote, but like they should only get half a vote or one vote.

And those of us with kids should get two votes. I'm sorry. I'll laugh out loud. My daughter would also eat nothing but candy if I let her, I guess I should let her make the decision to eat it or not. Yeah. Have you ever seen PBD's thing on like voting? No.

Or I have, I forget. Maybe I have. What's he say? Like basically like even, it doesn't matter the age that you are but it matters your contribution essentially so if you have a job and you're producing an income like you get one vote if you've joined the military and then you also have a job you would get two votes if you make over a certain amount of income you get a certain votes but it caps out at a certain thing if you do a certain amount of like so each kind

of contribution, whether it's something small, just having a job and paying your taxes, right? Gets you your one vote. But the more contribution you give to where you are, the more your voice or your vote should matter. And then he lays out all the different contributions and why those ones are important over. That shit would be so hard to police.

Oh yeah. But not really. If they got drones flying overhead that could tell you your fucking cough and sickness i think we can figure out who's contributing and who isn't huh might not be that hard just like i got all this digital stuff everywhere but you got to tell me i gotta go either fucking mail my shit in through the snail mail devote or i gotta head down to the local elementary school cafeteria and punch a little thing, hand it over to some volunteers, and they're going to secure that. But you can't do it with an ID or electronically because somehow that's racist. That's fucking bullshit.

Wow. Wow. It's crazy, dude. Hey, but you could bank. But you could bank. If you need a bank, you need an ID. And most of it's done through digital stuff online. You need a credit card.

You need an ID to get a credit card. Some places don't even fucking have an option to accept cash, even though I heard or think that's illegal. So what about all that shit? And here's what I would like. You know how they say it's because the left has no problem saying it. Hey, it's because of black people. They're not smart enough to get driver's license or blah, blah, blah.

Their whole shtick. You know what's probably really true, though? I bet you it's a significantly larger portion of fucking poor white people like all the appellation states i bet you it's a significantly larger portion of poor white people like all those all those people in Philly that we see in Tommy G's videos. None of those white people are voting. Or if they are, they don't know they're voting.

Someone's stealing their ballots. But one thing that all those people do have in common is they're all Democrats. I mean, you're not wrong jake chapman i've just got back from a five mile mountain bike ride mountain bike ride with my four-year-old not a care in the world lost in the woods with my little boy perfect sunday is doesn't he live on an island? A little island? You're always lost at sea. Fergie show.

That is why. Wow, look at him all cleaned up. Looks like fucking Superman. Wow, he's ready for a wedding. Superman got old. Yeah, a wedding. That is why we had capital punishment. All those boys saw thieves and murderers getting hung in the public square and thought twice about acting on their pubescent. Oh, I was just talking about this with Grace on the drive back

because we saw somebody just doing, you know, the crazy. There's always that one fucking car that's like beat up and it's like hauling ass, but traffic is at a dead stop and they're doing these crazy weave in and outs. And I was like, hey, I heard somewhere, and I don't know that this is true maybe we'll have to look it up but that they stopped um showing as many uh grizzly like car scenes and accidents and stuff when you go to get your license now so i don't know if you remember they had like the red pavement thing like on whatever however many days of of school you had to go through to to study for the test or

whatever the driver's ed was and then one of the last days they would just show you these horrific car scenes you know real ones that are overtaken someone hanging out of a windshield the fucking you know body parts thrown about to kind of instill that fear and i think that yeah and at 16 years old they're oh and they stopped it because he says it's triggering and it may cause may cause some mental distress and trauma. And I was like, oh, fucking point. Yeah. They would bring the car that was totaled from a drunk driving accident where there's three dead people.

The blood from three dead people in it and park in front of your high school. They used to do that. Yeah. Like a whole act with it. They still do that. But I'm talking about like in driver's ed, they would you would play the videos where they would show that it was just like a slideshow of, of grizzly car accidents.

Yeah. And as a 16 year old boy, going back to what we're saying about like, you know, developing longterm thinking, it's like, all you have to do is see that. So it,

it fucking like implants that seed in your brain. And when you start to go fast, maybe the, that, that flashes in your mind, you go, Oh shit, I don't want to be that driver hanging out on the windshield fucking dead.

Like you said, it's supposed to trigger you. Yeah. We're going to stop that because it triggers you. No, no, that was the point. That's the whole point. And a 16-year-old boy's mom died in a drunk driving accident, and it might bother him. Yeah, and then good, and then he'll be the one that,

when everybody drinks at 16 or 17 years old and sees his buddy fucking drunk walking out, he's going to make a real effort to stop that person because of that situation experience. And maybe he'll break that chain and Johnny won't fucking drive off the cliff and kill himself or somebody else. 1009 1009 is between 108 and 112 that makes sense either either what does they them mean uh pretty much it's when i'm feeling more uh not gender confined like pretty much no gender i choose to go by they them so you don't feel like a gender sometimes pretty much like i'm still questioning what my gender is like so how does that process work?

Pretty much just I'm playing around with different gender identities and different pronouns until I figure out exactly which one. And so some days you feel like a what, and some days you feel like a what? Some days I feel she, her. Other days, like today, I'm feeling more no gender. Wow. What are your pronouns? So I bring this up. i really like this guy and his questioning because he's like it reminds me of hillar like i need someone to ask

these really simple questions because i cannot fucking for the life of me like if i say to myself if i'm just like in the backyard hanging out with the tomato plants and i'm like what gender am I? Like, there's nothing. My brain is like, there's nothing like it. So I could be like,

how old am I? And I'm like, I'm 51. Okay. Um, what color shirt am I wearing? Uh, it's red. Um,

how big is your cock? Huge and thick. Like I have answers for these things. I don't, I don't even, I wouldn't even know things. I don't, I don't even, I wouldn't even know. So when I hear,

I was, I was chatting with my mom about this the other day. When I hear that Obama's exploring his gender, I think, Oh, he's exploring his delusion. He's exploring, like he's,

he's made up that the Sasquatch is real. And now he wants to know what the habitat and dietary habits are of the Sasquatch. It's like, wants to know what the habitat and dietary habits are of the Sasquatch. It's like I understand using the word gender as a characterization to like understand some things like from like a outside perspective. Like you would say like if aliens came, they'd be like, well, the men, the men's the creatures down there with penises and scrotums. Their gender has manifested as, you know, riding horses and getting up early to hunt food. You know, like I could see, but I don't have one of those. Like I don't, I don't even know how to fucking think about what mine would be. It's, it's, it's, um, uh, clock.

He was exploring, uh, his perversionsversions. Nothing more. Yeah, exactly. But kind of like delusional perversions. And I'm OK. I'm OK with like exploring anything in your head, but. But it still doesn't make it real. I just love this guy's like what and what. She's not sure what she is. Why is she even asking what she is along those imaginary guidelines? Hey, you're someone who's holding a giant cup of orange juice with purple hair. Is that orange juice? Tang? Tang. Probably screwdriver. I don't put ice in my orange juice. I don't like ice in my milk, my orange juice tang dang probably screwdriver i don't put ice in my orange

juice i don't like ice in my milk my orange juice you knew that was weird someone put ice in my kids whole milk the other day and they were sharing it a large one and they were drinking with a straw and they loved it i was like fuck i don't normally put ice in my milk but i wouldn't be upset if it came with ice in it. Yeah, I'm not upset. I just don't want it. I'd send it back. You would? You would? Yeah.

No, that's not cool. There was something in here. Oh, Jeremy had something. It's her truth, Sevan. Jeremy E. World. I say that humbly. God. 105.

This seems so inefficient. This seems so crazy. Someone's explained this shit to me. This doesn't even make fucking sense to me either. I mean, I like it visually. It's, it's,

it's, but this is just bizarre. This is an apple orchard. And, uh, these are the pickers to Val pickers, T E V E L pickers. This is nuts.

Oh, that's weird. Hey, you know that... Those are drones fucking picking apples, dude. One at a time. That's so racist. Because they're blue? No, because they're stealing jobs now. Oh, for Mexicans?

I didn't say that. From people south of San Diego? You made the leap. You made the leap. It's an albino orangutan. Oh, my goodness. Look, what about all the apples on the floor? Fuck them apples.

They're a waste. I could throw one of those apples 60 feet and hit a Home Depot bucket. Hey, and the person who said that I couldn't do it, the person in our chat who said I couldn't do it hasn't even fucking told me how great I am. Oh, nowhere to be found now. Yeah. They haven't done it themselves either.

Yeah. Ooh, good point. You can never do that. I like what John Young wrote. John Young wrote, I'm glad you can impress yourself so easily. I wish I could do that for myself.

That it's beautiful watching them pick them. Right. It's kind of cool. Yeah. A little scary. Cause now you just replace that little spinning thing with a gun when you cough too much on the street they just fucking blast your ass yeah and i like how the drones you think that those cords to them that's for power

right so they're just constantly being that's an electrical cord yeah probably makes sense yeah processing the data and everything, too. God, imagine the guy who built that machine, how excited you'd be that you launched this. Mm-hmm. How much do those apples cost now that they're using this robot? Oh, great point, Caleb.

Well, with each apple you pick, the cost goes down, right? Well, I mean, like, the labor cost is what? You buy that machine one time and then you just pay some maintenance it's got to be way low and you're leveraging that machine like the first time you do it each apple cost a thousand bucks yeah then 10 years later it's like it's paying you christian kettler the cords are uh a manifestation of the white man's slavery he put the cords on

the drones because that's the only way he knows how to get work out of people wow christian that's crazy that was more of a than a leap that was like a broad jump no no it wasn't no no it wasn't uh taylor no, it wasn't Taylor. I think Taylor believed I could hit. No, actually, Taylor talked shit, too. But to me, in there. Yeah. I could throw a baseball way better. This is like a month ago. I could throw a baseball better than you.

I play baseball. Me and Blubble. I forget who else play baseball. Like, dude, that's the whole point. I've never played baseball. I was afraid of a baseball when I was a little kid. I thought it could it would hit me and hurt me. it would hit me and hurt me.

Sevan, your feet are... Is Donovan new too? I don't think I've ever seen him post either. I don't think you get to open with just an insult. You need like 10 nice things and then one insult. You gotta work your way in, buddy. Your feet are half a normal person's.

His mustache is pretty nice. Normal person's. Yeah, that's a strong, strong stache for sure. Seve, that's a Graciano if he didn't work out. Cave D'Astro, Seve called the cops on baseballs as a kid. We got a baseball here.

101. Retard It's a gift that keeps giving 101 Flip it send it to HQ Seriously I want you to think Imagine calling going out of your way To call someone's boss to get them in trouble. Oh, did we already do this one?

Remember. Okay. There we go. I'm Morgan Riley, and I believe that there's no good way to use the R word. There is no good way to say this word. There's no good way to say this word. And I believe there's no good way to use this word. There's no good way to say this word. I believe there's no good way to use the R word. You may not think it's a big deal, but now more than ever, words matter.

This word is hurtful and disrespectful. There's no good way to use this word. You may think you're not doing any harm, but to me and my friends at Special Olympics, I mean, it's hurtful and disrespectful to speak to anyone like that. It's simple. Don't use it. Pledge it, write it, rip it. Words are powerful, so use your voice to spread positivity and inclusion. Take the pledge at motionball.com. No good win. Words are powerful, so use your voice to spread positivity and inclusion. Take the pledge at motionball.com.

Slash no good win. Good job with the Canada shirt. Un-fucking-bullet. Those people work at the Special Olympics, and they're making the effort to imprison those people and make those people owned by that word now I had to write it and say it I saw someone the other

day it's like people who someone said I saw a post from my wife showed me it was a yoga camp or something it said stop the hate spread the love you understand that stopping the hate is the hate you understand stopping like all you need to do is say spread the love punch hate in the face yeah but put put that energy that you had into trying to tell people what words can and can't be used. Instead of trying to cancel words, instead of trying to control things like that. Put that into just loving whatever you want to love.

I know, but they using words. I know, I know, I know. The whole thing, it's so twisted. How is someone going to explain that out of it? It's like they're self-flating themselves. It's just public masturbation. Virtue signaling is retarded. It is. God, I wish your last name was Walk.

W-O-K. And I wish it was Tommy. Tommy Walk. Tom Work. That's a good name, too. I just would like Tommy. Tommy Walk. Tom Work. That's a good name too. I just would like to say Tommy Walk. Oh my goodness. Look, our sub clip station is about to hit 1,000. Yeah, let's go. Come on, 21.

We're giving away a prize at the 1,000th subscriber. Yeah. Big prize. I'm going toth subscriber. Yeah. Big prize. I'm going to give you that baseball that I threw. Caller, hold on. Hold on. I spent $700 on a new Rodecaster so that I don't have to do this anymore. Oh, my goodness.

Hold on, Caller. Hold on. I think we're going to send Caleb the old one and then he'll have to do this. Oh, but Caleb got a new one. Lilo Dallas, $10. I don't know if you guys have been paid today for your time and entertainment.

Thanks. Also, like and subscribe. Dude, thank you. I really appreciate that. Oh. Caller, hi. Hey, what's up, supply? What's up,er? Hey, what's up, Subai? What's up, dude? Hey, I was just going to, this is John from Virginia Beach. I just was going to say, great show.

And also, a couple other words that we should start using other than retard. I say, brain back, negro and colored. I'm going to pass, but I appreciate it. Okay. All right. Thank you. I'm going to pass, but I appreciate it. Okay. Thank you. I'm going to pass on those. Any other words, maybe? I like imbecile and moron. I love imbecile.

I think words that start with I don't get used enough. Imbecile. Idiot. Idiot is good, yeah. I like idiocy. I kind of like idiocy because it makes me feel like I'm smarter than just idiot. Like, that's just

idiocy. Yeah, I agree. That's good. That's good. We gotta fight back, man. Alright. Well, thank you for your contribution to the show. Absolutely. Have a good one. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Civil discourse between a gorilla and a man. Unless you decide who is the gorilla and who is the man. That guy had a five o'clock shadow for sure. Definitely. My goodness That guy only changes his toothbrush

Every two years He's got like one of those ones where the bristles are all like He's like brushing his teeth on the plastic You know what I mean the bristles are so pushed out to the side He's got that bristle part Yeah That guy's steering wheel in his car Is just caked in dirt You know what I mean like that black. Yeah. That guy's steering wheel in his car is just caked in dirt.

You know what I mean? Like that black stuff that gets around his old steering wheel. Yeah. Like crumbing apart. Yeah. Like my steering wheel. That dude has a push broom in the back of his pickup truck. You know?

Just like an old one laying back there. And not with like those plastic bristles. He got like the plant ones. You know what I mean? Batch. Dodged a bullet. Batch push proof. Dodged a bullet.

Thank you. Holy shit. What does he think I am, racist? He's baiting. Baiting. Baiting. No chance. J.R. Howell, no chance.

Never. That dude doesn't even know what a straw is Dude straws run from that dude J.R. sounds like There's ice and milk everywhere you go Down there Oh in the south They might have to because it's so hot I'm excited about it

I'm going to order milk the whole weekend now. Yeah, that's great, JR. I appreciate you jumping in with that. Yeah, he definitely does not use that. That dude doesn't use a straw. At Waffle House, he ordered milk at Waffle House. He finds straws. Yeah, Jake Chapman, for sure.

He drinks McDonald's coffee. And that dude doesn't pull tops off cream either. That dude ain't pulling tops off dream either that's so perfect yeah milk yep milk wow oh my goodness wad zombie's never had a banana in his life. Nope. He don't eat bananas either. Okay. Where are we? Too many.

This thing's getting so so long again how are you guys on time I'm good for a little bit I'm hanging how about 94 this one says homeless Asian people sorry unhoused Asian people thank you I was almost gonna have to make a phone call unhoused

hello yeah he's doing it again Thank you. I was almost going to have to make a phone call. Unhoused. Hello? Yeah, he's doing it again. He's doing it again. This is good. Here we go. You don't see homeless Asian people. You don't see that. That's right. Hey, listen, man, can you help out a brother, you know?

Give me some Bitcoin, you know, a little bit. Bitcoin. Not the whole coin, you know, some some bitcoin you know a little bit bitcoin not the whole coin you know some of the coin hey listen man could you give me a hundred thousand dollars like i finished medical school and then i'm good then i don't need no more help i could you don't see homeless... It's Bruce Lee. It's not even Asian people he's doing. He's doing Bruce Lee. You guys seen any Bruce Lee movies lately? It's Bruce. It's totally Bruce Lee.

Wow. Yes. That's amazing. Pool Boy. Fucking up a good bit, like usual. I did see one homeless Asian in San Francisco last week. Well, thank you, asshole. Just asshole just one though i got carried away when i went to uh i was in japan and they had a huge homeless encampment there and their homeless encampment is like perfect all of the like

tents that the dudes lived in were all lined up perfectly they all match every people were like washing their clothes in the fountains. It was crazy. It was fucking nuts. Yeah, it's dead on Bruce Lee, right? Even how he did something with his hand that was Bruce Lee too. Was that what it was? Yeah, that thing he did with his hand.

That was to so Bruce Lee. My kids love Bruce Lee. I don't get to show my kids what could i show them so that i show them some like armenian and jewish people in cinema that did good like right now they're into mr t and bruce lee so you're saying asian dude there's no representation representation yeah i am i am maybe they'll be the first oh my god bruce lee was so good it's a shame matt uh

when you could watch all the movies though in a week that he's done when you could watch all the movies though in a week that he's done so that's what my kids did like we just went on a fucking bruce the marathon and they saw everything oh kim kardashian sex tape okay i'll show them that tonight it doesn't suggest an adrian brody movie but that's a classic. Oh, what was Schindler? Is that Schindler's list or the pianist? Hey kids, look, uh, number four,

a very serious issue here in the United States. The pay gap between men and women. Very, very serious. yeah. One, uh, one Oh four well 104 oh let's see let's check in and see how that's going if men can finally make as much money as women on only fans everyone knows not gonna happen do so do you take into account the fact that on average a male full-time employee works longer hours than a female full-time employee?

Not directly, no. You don't? But we annualise the part-time hours and those that have worked full-time but for part of the year. What about if you did it on an hourly rate? What would be the gender hourly pay gap? Well, we don't have that data, Senator. You don't have that data? No, because we ask for annualised salaries from our employers when they report their data in. Okay, so if a woman was working fewer hours but earning the same rate per hour as a man doing the same job, would that show up as a gender pay gap?

No. Holy shit. Well, that destroyed her. Susan, how many hours did you work? Five. How much did you get paid?

100 bucks. Well, that's fucked up. I only got paid 20 bucks. How many hours did you work, Stevon? One. I don't see what that has to do with it we should be making the

same yeah did you go to work I went to work I was there five times as long as you yeah but so what that's crazy what if she would have spent less time getting ready for that and did more math what if she spent 20 minutes less getting ready every morning what if she talked with people that didn't disagree before she went that far

gathered more information for her data set said dude there's nothing wrong with my man bun i you know you honestly know what i look like with my hair do you know what i feel like when i was younger there were these old guys who had long hair and i'm like what the fuck are they doing their hair looks so like straggly and shit yesterday when i made that baseball video i'm like first of all i'm like i can't even believe i went out there in my lawn i can't but after i've made that i'm like i have to post it because i did it one shot and it's authentic but i'm like why wouldn't i take any consideration for what i was wearing or my hair or anything i'm like have you lost your mind?

I'm like better when I was homeless. I'm not joking. I did. But when it's down like this, it's just a straggly mess. Like that thing of hair right in the middle just sticking out. Me? Yeah, like that. Thanks, Caleb. You're helping you could do what i did and get the uh eighth grade haircut i do i want to do i should do that

i really enjoy putting my hair up i like the feeling of pulling my hair up did you get your haircut before the wedding yeah i could well i cut it myself no let me just shave it and then i have grace like get the back so Did you get your hair cut before the wedding? Yeah. Well, I cut it myself. Yeah. I just shave it. And then I have Grace like get the back. Well, maybe she fucks it up. Maybe she doesn't. I'll never know.

Hey, how old are you? 35. You just wait. You're like 10 years away. Like slowly she's going to start shaving lower and lower until one day when she's shaving your neck, she's going to start shaving your back. You're going to be like, dude, what are you doing? Dude, it just goes all the way down to your ass. I hope not.

Why does Sousa's hair have a plateau in the front? What does that mean? I have a calic. I got one of those too, I think. If I started to grow it out, this part would go way back. It used to piss me off in middle school because I wanted the middle part. Oh I got one of those too I think So like if I start to go it out This part will like Way back used to piss me off in middle school

Because I wanted the middle part You know Oh yeah yeah I had the middle part Middle school yeah Feather it on both sides Yeah yeah Seve have you ever done any stunt work for Al Pacino You know I have

Mike Poolboy question about my foreskin no thank you uh shaving uh the ear too I don't shave my ears but I grab my ears along the outside edge and I pull and and I do that like maybe once a month or something while I'm driving and every once and I'll catch a long hair like I never see them but you know what I mean like I'll just be like pulling like this and then I'll be like, oh, and I, and I got one. Like an outside hair. I think I was looking at Hiller's ear. I think when he got juiced up, he started getting like bushy ears, like fuzzy ears.

Oh. That's got a few. I'm not getting, I'm not ever getting laser treatment. Fuck that. I think they shoot a laser into your hair follicle. It kills your hair follicle. No, thank you. That's hilarious.

No fucking way. Oh, I wanted to say this is a good one. Number 95. I don't know if you can find a picture of this. You ready, Caleb? I was at the... This is a total common look this is this is the river look girls at the river do this but i was at the norcal classic that's ben alderman and blair

morrison's event and i was there with dave and this girl walks by us beautiful girl i don't know mexican chick i don't know how old she was so i should be careful i can't tell if she was 16 or 24, but she's wearing a red bikini top, right? Great body with a pair of jean shorts. But her jean shorts are completely unzipped and open, flapped open, so that you can see her red bikini underneath, which is basically just underwear. But since it matches her, which would be inappropriate anywhere, but since it matches her bikini but since it's matches which would be inappropriate anywhere but since it matches her bikini top it's okay so imagine a girl walking around with her just a bra on with her pants unzipped but it's okay because you're by the water and because they match it's a crazy look like you look and you're like, inappropriate? Appropriate. You give them a pass because like –

Because context matters. But you had to – yeah, that look, yes. But you have to purposely leave your – like when she put those on, do you put them on and button them all the way up? And then you're like, okay, time to get ready, and then unbutton them? No, I think you keep them unbuttoned to slide them on. Just when you put them on, you never even button them the first time? I'm going to disagree with you, both of you here. I'm going to say that when you put them on, you forget and you actually button them up.

You know what this calls for? A pole? We could do a pole, but we could even do it better. You live close to the beach, we could do a man on the street. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Hey, excuse excuse me quick question hey what did you google to find this look caleb unbutton jean shorts look

i don't know hey and this chick i saw at the norCal classic was wearing one that was significantly um skimpier bathing suit than that not on the bottom but on the top yeah it was more like that chick in the red over there not no that one in the red nope not her good guess though uh right yes right there yes oh yeah it was more like that but her shorts were way open it's a crazy look i wonder what the origin of that look is oh my god I don't have to button up my pants because this is actually a bathing suit bottom I have on. It's a great look.

It's like a little scandalous, right? It's sultry. What's the word? Provocative? Yeah, that. Eaton Beaver, once you are over 45, it's about comfort and function I pick my teenager up from high school for a doctor's appointment

in my Crocs and cargo shorts you wear Crocs I can't wear cargo shorts either my thighs rub and I get like chafed by the way that material hangs on them I would have died if my dad did that when I was a kid yeah my kids

don't know. But, yeah. Anyway, thanks for the money. I like money. Seve, would you ever bleach your butthole for money? Yeah, you mean like for $3 billion, would I let you bleach my butthole? Yeah, all day. Like, what do you mean would I bleach my butthole for money? No.

Yes. No. Yes. How much? Yeah. How bleached? What fucking question is bleached two sessions or one hundred million or a hundred dollars anyway I thought that

it's such a trippy phenomenon the whole pants unbuttoned but it's okay and I like the look I like the look I thinked, but it's okay. And I like the look. I like the look. I think it's like provocative. We talked about the door, holding the door open. We already went.

Oh, 93. What's this? Richest guy. Oh, there's one that's breastfeeding. I wonder if that one has nudity in it. 93, richest guy. The person didn't have nudity. Oh, this is good.

Okay, so this is a business lesson from the wealthiest melanated man in America. Okay, here we go. Robert F. Smith is the wealthiest black man in American history. He alive right now. Guess how he built this world? Guess what industry? Not entertainment, not music. In the software world, his company holds a little over $100 billion in assets. He basically owned a company called Vista. All his company do is buy software companies. He got 85 software companies, 95,000 employees all across the world. So y'all heard of Morehouse before? He spoke at the Morehouse, you know, when they

graduate, they have like speakers come through, what they call a commencement service. 400 students graduated. He was like, you know what I'm going to do? He's like, I'm going to pay off everybody's student loans. The black dude. He was like, I'm going to pay off all y'all's student loans. I'm going to tell y'all what's crazier though. He also told them, not only am I going to pay off y'all's student loans, every last Thursday of the month, I'm going to do a Zoom call with y'all. Get on, ask me questions. I'm going to bring on special guests. I got access. 400 students. Guess how many get on the Zoom call? He said 40 to 80 on average. Richest black person in the country. 40 to 80 people. On average. And this is one day out of every month, right?

Yeah. What does that show you? They don't care. They don't want it. Ungrateful. Work ethic. Mindset. I think all that's true.

And most people don't value opportunity. And oftentimes, if it's free, you value it even less. Y'all ever heard of Robert F. Smith? I would never pass up an opportunity to be on that call, right? Even right now in my life. No way. I would be on that fucking call. Like I wouldn't, a funeral. I would have it in one year at someone's funeral.

Like, like there's no like waiting for your turn. Yeah, dude. There's no fucking way i'm missing that opportunity i like the way this guy didn't know the word commencement speech i could empathize with that you know what i mean like he that touched me that's the story of my life digging around in my fucking brain for words for the right phrase yeah commencement commencement commencement man and by the way that has nothing to do with being black white people doesn't matter Asian people everyone would fucking fuck that up

so many people we see people that's a common conversation that Susan and I have people just fucking up crazy yeah I'd do it for six figures someone like someone who's making a hundred a million dollars a year 999 000 a year i'm gonna talk for to me i'll fucking pop on the call and listen to what you got to say would you shower with beaver for a thousand yeah i'd shower with beaver for free nice isn't that cold cold shower shower in Mexico in a concrete shower.

Publicly. Yeah, publicly. Fuck it. You put it away. I'm a little shy. I'd like a little blur mark over my cock and balls. Okay. what's breastfeeding 91 breastfeeding

something happened in my house last night that my wife told and I got mad at my wife I'm like I'm talking about that on my podcast like to punish her he's like no you're not. Compromise. Understanding. What an asshole. Can you imagine living with me?

I'm like Mike Wittius. Oh yeah? You think that's cool? Wait till I tell my podcast followers that you did that, honey. Haley, wait till I tell my wait till I tell my podcast followers. Oh my gosh oh yeah oh yeah you wait and see keep that up you want me to tell you what she what she did hey here's the thing let me let me let me squeeze it in like later like just remind remind me later and i'll tell you the story like it was someone else it's a pretty funny story it's ridiculous

it's fucking ridiculous but i just liked it how i threatened her that's that's better than what the actual oh yeah well i learned it i i'll tell my podcast people if you ever do that again. They'll come up on your posts. Hey, you know what's crazy, too, is that Mike Witte's guy sent me the DM that threatened me, right? He sent me the DM like if you ever mentioned, I didn't even mention his name. I just told the story about him, but I didn't say who it was. He says, if you ever mentioned me again, even subtly, dot, dot, dot. And then I was thinking to myself, you know what?

And I was thinking to myself when I saw that, I was like, okay, I'll give him a break. I'll lay off him for a month, and then I'll fuck with him again, right? Like, I thought I'd give him a little space. Then I wake up in the morning, it's like, people are reporting you to HQ. I'm like, damn, he didn't even give me a fucking chance to chill. All right, I guess we're going full nuclear. Noted. Is it easy to bring up that Beetlejuice thing again?

Sure. Maybe. We'll see. I want to remind you that this guy went after Lauren Fisher for posting a clip of Tropic of Thunder. And then you look on his Instagram and he is making fun of in the exact same way that she did. If you want to consider it making fun of, she was utilizing something from movie. But what's crazy is this isn't even a movie. This is a real person in real life.

At least Lauren's is like fiction. movie this is a real person in real life at least lawrence is like fiction this is a real life miniature dwarf black man i only bring up those things or uh mentally challenged i only bring up those things because those are the things that he cares about mentally challenged um skin color and height and here he is doing it it's like no surprise right no it's at very best it's three times worse

what Lauren did if like if you want to believe into his convoluted thinking right it's three because he wasn't upset that Robert Downey Jr. was blackface he was just upset about the yeah I didn't really push on that one too hard no it's was blackface he was just upset about the yeah i didn't really push on that one too hard no it's uh sorry not tropic of thunder sorry tropic thunder sorry sorry

sorry lulu why why why isn't it tropic of thunder doesn't that sound better no oh okay fine, okay. Fine. Tropic Thunder. Tropic Thunder? Okay. I think it's like a play on what we did in Vietnam. Oh, it is? Yeah. Oh, there was like some battle that was like something... Anna just noted it, Tropic Thunder, yeah. Something like that.

Oh. Oh, let me see. Wow. Wow. So there's some historical reference. Tropic Thunder, yeah. Something like that. Oh, let me see. Wow. So there's some historical reference. Tropic Thunder, Vietnam. Someone in the comments earlier said that Beaver's smart. And I was like, well, what evidence do you have of that? And then here we go. Here's some evidence. My dad, 1971, Tropic Thunder.

Oh, know your meme. Oh, Tropic Thunder memes. Oh. Maybe not. Oh, I typed in meme. That's why. It auto-populated meme. Tropic Thunder about Vietnam War. Tropic Thunder parodies many prestigious war films, specifically those based on the Vietnam War. I should watch that movie again. I did not enjoy that movie.

I don't like movies like that. But I probably wasn't sophisticated enough to enjoy it. What year is that movie? 2002? 2008. Matthew McConaughey's in that? Tom Cruise is in that? 2008. Matthew McConaughey's in that? Tom Cruise is in that? Yeah.

Dude, it was a crazy big movie. Wow. Okay, sorry. Where were we? Breastfeeding. Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this. Oh, shit. I'm doing all those things on my on my instagram account oh that guy holds his hands like he has cerebral palsy look at this one guy used to bathe

him every day at that uh in the movie our house scroll down look at his hand whenever when i would bathe him he held his hand like that and when i would bathe him i would i would gently open his fingers the best i could and wash him between his fingers. He'd be naked in a chair in the shower. And I would always tell myself two things when I would bathe him. He's probably 15 years older than me. I'd be like, bathe him like you want to be bathed and bathe him like one of God's children even though I didn't even believe in God but I remember his hand would be like that

and I'd have to bathe him between his fingers and shit why not fully clothed bathe him fully clothed no no I'd bathe him naked dude I had to fucking there would always be poop on him I wouldn't bathe them that often like once a week i didn't do it every day i mean it was but no one else would do it in the whole place and i was the boss i could have easily made someone else do it but like i did like clean

dingleberries off of them and shit i wore blue gloves i wore gloves i felt kind of bad for that for wearing gloves yeah oh but all right uh action here we go breastfeeding you can go as a man and get a drug that causes you to lactate which allows you then to breastfeed your child and that milk because of the drugs you have to take actually causes heart problems in a child child. And the CDC and everybody else isn't going, we got to stop this because this is evil, which it is. Now we're really in trouble. Now what's happening is we are embracing actual insanity. When you have men who can go to women's prisons and get two women pregnant before they get moved.

You say you're a woman for three months and you have balls and a beard and get put into a woman's prison. I don't know what the f*** we're doing anymore. There are certain things I'm willing to fight for. And I mean, you're my enemy, mother f***er. I don't want to meet you halfway. This is why you say, how did I come out of the closet? You want to call me a right wing?

You want to call me a conservative? I'm a proud conservative now because that's the kind of s*** I'm not going to compromise on. When you can go... Hey, that's not... That's pedoph go hey that that's not that's pedophilia by the way that's pedophilia uh having a baby breastfeed off a man that's not that's not men men don't there's no no man want no man should be no no babe that's pedophilia that's 100 pedophilia

i don't i don't need to explain it it's it's more than just fucking crazy and insanity and the fact that the drugs the men are taking is poisoning child it's fucking pedophilia and not only is it pedophilia the cdc also also not only that they they recommend they have a drug concoction they recommend caller hi hey How are you? Good. I didn't know that guy was a liberal like me. This guy was a – wow, that's crazy. Yeah. He kind of had like that liberal whininess that I have, like kind of like that Jew whininess liberal.

He's still like throwing his conservative man balls. I should meet that guy. I bet you me and him would be good friends. Who is he? Is he famous, that guy? Brian Callen. Yeah, he's pretty famous. He's funny.

He's a comedian? Yeah. Oh. Okay, caller, hi. Sorry. Hey. Hey, you're a great fucking caller. You understand callers will just call and start talking.

You stepped into the flow. You saw we're still finishing up the bit. You waited. You're cool. Hey, appreciate it. We're on good footing already if uh something happens to caleb or susan please put in an application to be on the show you already have good timing and that's like the 51 yard line all right so uh talking about this you know him embracing madness

so tell your story my wife hold on i swear to guys, I spent 800 bucks or 700 bucks or a thousand bucks on a new roadcaster. Hold on. I got to fucking redo this. Hold on. God damn it. Disconnect. Reconnect. This sucks, dude.

And why would a phone on my desk need a lock on it? I need to turn that off, too. Wait, what happened? Why are you asking because there was a there was a click every time he talked there was a click oh i have to reset the roadcaster every time someone calls are you there caller i'm here okay go you clean audio now so yeah so we got uh my wife she had her uncle remarried this woman and they had, he already had children. And, uh, so he re remarries this woman and they have twins.

So the, this woman he marries is complete lunatic. So around these kids around 10 or 11, two girls, and they come to her and say that they're transgender course. So she starts them on the path of transitioning, you know, 11, 12 years old. So here come recently, they're 20. They've both been in and out of mental institutions their whole life. One of them more severely than the other, they live in the state of Washington. And here recently,

one of them decided that they just didn't want to live anymore. So the mom helped the 20-year-old do euthanasia in the state of Washington and helped her child kill herself. That's the type of madness that we're embracing. Nowhere in this girl's life did any adult stand up for her and say, this is wrong, what you're doing.

And so now she's dead. That's the type of craziness and insanity. I can't even process that story. If I let that go in, I'm going to start crying a little bit. Like I tried to let it go in for a second and I want to fucking – I want to cry when my wife told me that's what i did that kid didn't have a mom standing up for them but not only that she didn't have a father because her father's a weak gutless nutless man he's not even a. How could you let that happen to your kids? Think about that. Twins, dude. Twins, dude.

You're fucking so lucky if you get twins. Right. And the second one won't be far behind. 20 years old, dude. Not one adult. Not one doctor. I know this is some perverse shit I'm about to say, but how is the other twin?

How are they taking it? They're jacked up too. Are they tripping on the fact that their other twin killed itself and the mom helped? I don't even know what's going through their heads. I can't even imagine.

Are these people like you have Christmas and shit? Do you do Christmas and shit with these people? Thanksgiving and stuff? No, no, no. We went out there one time. I took my kids with me and we left their house and I told my wife,

I go, we will never, ever take our kids around those people again. Hey. And we never did. I want to try to figure out how to tell this story and protect people, but. I don't know how to say it. But dude, it's so important to protect your children. It's so easy for your kids to be taken away or intercepted too. Let's say someone reports your kids for doing something that your kids didn't do.

Your kids could be taken away from you. Let's say someone reports you for doing something you haven't done. Your kids could be taken away from you, right? And we know that there's fucking crazy people out there who will do that shit. Yeah, fuck. That's why, yeah, you got to say, people have no idea until that shit comes close to you. Holy shit. Look at Jeremy World.

I'm crying. Yeah, of course you're crying. You have three fucking daughters. Of course you're crying. Yeah, I have two. Fucking A. Yeah, it's one of those things. But this is what-

And Washington State too, dude. That's the place where it's fucking happening. I have a friend who the state tried to take their daughter. My friend escaped, grabbed his daughter and escaped to Idaho. And two years later, his daughter's like, thank you, dad. Because she was all about the transition too. Yeah. Holy shit, dude.

But what about the medical community? What about these doctors? Oh, they're a joke, dude. They're a joke. They're scumbags of the highest order. Not all of them, of course, but I'm just like they're basically pharma educated. Yeah. They have no respect for life, the dignity of life, any of it.

It's, like I said, I was so sad. That's close to home, dude. Are you in Washington State? No, no, no. Yeah. We got, I was, I mean, still to this, still to this day, I think about it. And cause it's, it just, we just got this phone call a month ago. Wow. And yeah. Unreal. Hey dude, that, that's the thing we were talking about. Like you can't even tell what's like satire anymore.

You can't even tell what's like fiction. No, it's that's why we're living in. These are evil times we live in. I hope people wake up and realize that there is evil in the world. And it's ruining its head. God, it's absolutely nuts. It's crazy how it comes after kids nuts it's crazy how it comes after kids it's crazy how it comes after kids yeah all right you know thanks for fucking up the show it's

important no i'm so glad you love the show thank you i'm so glad you keep it up okay all right all right bye love you bye show. Thank you. I'm so glad you're here. Keep it up. Okay. All right. All right. Bye. Love you. Bye. On that note, have a fabulous Sunday. And I'm that high. We'll see you guys later. Hey, don't worry, by the way, this is this. It's only happened once in the entire history of the world. And it just has so happened that that caller witnessed it. Don't worry. It's not a big deal. It's just an isolated incident. you know it's funny because when i listen to these shows and there's these long pauses i always freak out and grab my phone and i'm like did it stop did the show just end calling me so i wonder how many people that are listening to the audio and i'm like did it stop did the show just end calling me so i wonder how

many people that are listening to the audio version only is like did they just end it is it done uh lilu uh dallas now on to 133 now we're we're we can do one we can do 112 just i don't know what this one is change i just want to let that one sink in for a second it's just um it's just it's here dude it's here we're we're we're not it's not coming it's here like you can just go to the starbucks and just see it it's here and uh and i'm to be honest with you i was thinking the other day i'm so proud the the thing with wittiest i'm so proud that we brought the fight that I can just the fight against cancel culture and, and, and just idiocy. And I can just, it's in my, I can just fight it from my front yard.

Like we can just lure them in one by one and, and, and point them out and be like, Hey, look, this is, here's the idiocy. Here's the, it's all, it's all connected. It's all connected. They want you to. It's like you'll see the people who are trying to defend Wittius. There's very few, by the way. It's like minuscule. But they'll be like, can't you just not say the word and empathize with him? The thing is this. There's no end to that. No one's saying that you should say the word retard or midget

or any derogatory slurs or kike or speak no one's saying that those words we're saying is is that the buck stops with you there's no end to it in policing people and in policing people all you're doing is supporting this totalitarian regime where they can just fucking control everyone and anything and the next thing you know you're defending people like pedophiles because you're being sensitive to them you're defending people who are killing their kids because you're sensitive to them there's no end to it that way yeah this kind of thinking is killing humanity yeah it is a fucking cancer to civilization and although the wittiest thing

the wittiest thing isn't as bad as this it's just another cog in that wheel of that sickness it's part of it he probably doesn't even know he's fighting that war for them alright number 112 change we're at the 3 hour mark oh we already did this guy

this is the guy with the pants 107 I'd rather be around weird people than anybody else This is the guy with the pants. 107. I'd rather be around weird people than anybody else. 1002. Fuck, let's party. If we did a 24-hour show, would you guys help? Would people call in and shit?

Sage Steele addresses the criticism she received when she allowed shale sonnen to touch her hair on sports center uh by the way so interesting about uh this chick right here sage steel so she ended up getting uh leaving espn because um she didn't want to i something to do with the vaccine she ended up taking the vaccine but she was pissed she took it for her job and I think maybe she she got vaccine injured and sued them or something something happened right so she ended up after 12 years at ESPN recently getting fired right and here she is with shale sonnen and I guess you're not supposed to say to someone can I touch your hair let alone a black woman or a black man you're not allowed to touch black people's hair although it's weird to like i think it's weird to ask to touch anyone's

hair but i would say it to someone for sure so i don't i don't know like if i saw some hair i wanted to touch i would definitely want to ask them um but another interesting thing is i was watching shale sonnen yesterday on a clip about the UFC, and instead of saying the word retard, he says the R word. He goes – and then he called him the R word. I was like, no shit. Shale Sonnen doesn't do the R word. Wow. But he touches a black woman's hair.

I would I Don't think I would ask to touch lats but I Might compliment someone on their lats to The point where they're like might say do you want To touch them which is what happened with Alex best and and I want To point out I only touch one at a time I didn't touch two at the same Time

Dancing yeah Kind of yeah yeah yeah dancing god i love holding on to my wife's lats from the back okay here we go action i have to hate your opponents to win can i touch your hair can i can i feel i love your hair way. Random. That has never happened before because everybody that's sitting in this chair is thinking it. And so when he said that, the split second decision in my mind was

okay, this is awkward and weird and I'm silly and I'm a good sport about whatever. By the way, this is about as much make like she's flirting with disaster people. This is a really attractive woman this is about as beautiful as human beings get their teeth are a little too white and it's

almost a little too much lipstick but but it's good and diamonds just a little too big like it's causing the earlobe to flap around a little bit you know what i mean little smaller diamond little less red but beautiful just going back to the thing we talked about about like women who like you overdress she hot as fuck i ain't kicking her out of bed for eating crackers don't get me wrong i'm just saying good example of like close close but maybe also she's on tv and it's just a close-up maybe from far away that would look better my wife doesn't like it when i say that to her she's like how do i look i'm like dude like should be like naked like dude you look amazing from 10 feet that fucking always fucks her up good from

far but far from good she'll be in her bathing suit she's like how do you look i'm like fuck dude you look fucking amazing and i see dudes stare at her all the time she got a crazy body but then i'm like the 10 feet thing she's like what do you mean i'm like well no one looks good like right up like this but she i get fuck take a ass whooping for that okay go on here we go uh shale sonnen uh touching hair here we go and i said if i say no this is what went through in a split then the girl on tv who's so prim and proper and she's too worried about her hair and how she looks instead of the questions and the job so i was like i don't care't care. My hair is wild. Touch it. And then that's what it was. It wasn't, you know, oh my gosh, don't touch a black woman's hair. First of all, again, why does it have to be

about race? We're splitting it up as usual. Afterwards, we got off the set and he's like, was that offensive? I'm so sorry. But I go, no, I think it's funny because you, and he's like, no i i think it's funny because you and he's like gosh it's he was it's beautiful hair we made it into a race thing as usual do you have to hate your opponents he's hot did you see the way she dresses too at the end those she's fucking rad her vibe is immaculate yeah i saw that too i like it 37 000 likes that's crazy oh 37 301 beaver uh eat beaver am i ignorant that i just want to believe the caller story is made up until verified dude i'm so in your boat i'm so in your boat except dude he nailed with the Washington State thing. Hey, dude, here's what's worse, Mr. Beaver. Not you, Caleb.

I think it's actually worse. He was just really good at telling a quick story. He knew his audience and he knew the medium and the format. I think it's worse i think there's details and shit that will make us want to fucking like find the parents and do something to them i think it's way worse i mean dude just imagine every morning getting up going to your kitchen cabinet popping pills out of a fucking pill dispenser that change your kids hormones giving them a class of glass of water and feeding that to your kid's hormones. Giving them a glass of water and feeding that to your kid, dude.

You know the whole point of the zone diet and CrossFit and exercising the zone diet is in its most implicit form was to regulate your hormones. That's the whole premise behind the zone diet. Regulate your hormones through food so you're just even keeled. Eat proportionally, find your range, and just eat like that every meal because the belief is around that diet is that erratic hormones or hormone spikes, the up and down-ness of it all, is what causes all disease, Alzheimer's, heart disease,

you name it, everything. Heart attacks, strokes. So the goal of the zone diet is just to give you one fucking people who go on it and swear like that. Their moods change. Their moods becomes more even-keeled, everything. That's the whole point of it. Cave Dastro dropping some wisdom. Holy shit, I've never heard this.

I don't know if this is true, by the way. But I'll read it anyway. No one's breath smells good if you're far enough down their throat. Cave Dastro. I don't know if that's true. It sounds true. Jeez. anyway i'd rather be around weird people who do stuff like that like ask to touch people's hair and shit like that than just normal people any day of the week

all right i wonder who do we have a guest on the show tomorrow andre who day wow yep i don't hey i don't know if greg's coming on tuesday is he traveling yeah for sure we have karen thompson coming on wednesday we have a great week coming up the only one that needs to be adjusted i think is uh facundo and friend i think brian was traveling on that day when he originally agreed the schedule got moved so that one probably will get bumped around and then blair morrison on friday um and he owns uh five affiliates i didn't even know that yeah hey can you do me a favor can you look at at the guest that's coming on on Wednesday the 27th?

Is that last name correct? I'm sorry if you didn't have the calendar up, if you're reading it from somewhere else. I do. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. Because that was somebody that kind of came in during the shuffle

when the craziness of the games came in, when we were just hammering through all those athletes and stuff. So I got her rescheduled, and I think it's the person who i did my research on like she's a cattle rancher dude yeah okay that's gonna be good i was looking into her afterwards and i was like oh this will be fun you're gonna have a great time with her on yeah do you do you know some of so some of the things i heard about her and i don't know if this is true her boyfriend used to be some of the things I heard about her, and I don't know if this is true. Her boyfriend used to be one of the – her former fiancé, I think, used to be one of the wealthiest men in the world. Oh, really?

Yeah. And I think she owns an entire town. And she owns the five Mary's Farms, right? Yeah. And all of her daughters are named Mary, including – Oh, really? I didn't know that. Yeah. Oh, that's weird.

I like that. I wanted to name all my dogs Caesar, so when I just called Caesar, they all look. And then she owns the Cattle Ranch, which is also like a school for kids to learn about ranching and stuff too, right? Yeah. I don't know much about her. I need to research more. You know more about her than I do. Is it on the i don't know much about her is it i need to research more is it on you know more about her than i do is it on the border of california and oregon yeah i heard you in california rural california yeah yeah yeah this is her yeah this is gonna be cool yeah okay cool i was i got excited but then there was last time when i got

a last name confused and i thought we had a neurosurgeon coming on, I was like, it was like, no, bro. Oh, we should have a neurosurgeon. You know, you know who we have coming on is the guy who was the, um, uh, he did some therapy sessions with Andrew Tate.

Oh yes, yes, yes. Yep. Got him on cue. Yeah. Unless someone's going to call all those people And tell them not to come on

I'm going to get a few of these today Oh you are? Yeah I'm going to do that too So my wife sent me yesterday to the butcher My wife sent me to the butcher yesterday And she told me to get five pounds of brisket.

I said, why not six pounds? She said, because I don't know if it'll fit in the slow cooker. I came back with 11 pounds. The guy pulls the brisket out and he goes, do you want the front or the back? I want the whole thing. I don't know. You tell tell me i don't know shit about me he's like dude i'm new here i just asked the question i don't really know either

something they told him to do like yeah so i'm like all right fuck it put the whole thing on the scale he goes he goes it says 10.89 pounds right right? And he goes, it's 10 pounds. And I'm thinking to myself, it was like the Bryce Smith interview. Like when he said Rich Froning skirts his reps, and I thought, that's not true. But I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything either. I'm like, he just told me it's 10 pounds. It was 10.89 pounds.

I'm like, okay, I'll take the whole thing. I'm like, can you cut it in half? He goes, yeah. So then I brought it in the house. I'm like, look, babe, I got the brisket. Five pounds. More than double what you're asking. What are you putting in the freezer i'm like that's another five pounds you have to lie going i i think that's what i have in my teeth brisket i brisket him in here. Hey, this girl's pretty. Mary?

Yeah. Yeah. Omar Cornejo, my Born Primitive Savage ones just arrived. Yeah. You know who's wearing them? Jeremy E. World's wearing them too. He said he likes them. Butcher.

I hardly know her Good one Hey, want me to tell you something crazy? So when I wake up in the morning My wife's still in bed And The first thing I do Is I We have a router in our room

An extension router in our room And when I wake up in the morning I plug it in When I go to bed at night I unplug it And so I get out in the morning, I plug it in. When I go to bed at night, I unplug it. And so I get out of the shower this morning and I walk over to plug the router in. It's still dark outside and my wife's in bed.

And as I go to plug the router in, I see a piece of dental floss sitting by the router on that like shelf. And it's clearly used. And my poor wife's sleeping and I pick it up and I start flossing my teeth with it naturally and I go

walking around naked just imagine like something from Lord of the Rings walking around naked in your room and you're trying to sleep and you have a fucking immaculate hot woman's body just me walking around looking for a room and you're trying to sleep and you have a fucking immaculate hot woman's body. Just me walking around looking for a pair of long johns to wear. I go, hey, you think it's weird that

I picked up this piece of dental floss and just started flossing my teeth with it? She's trying to sleep. He goes, yeah, it was used. It was used. And I forget what she said. It turns out it was a string from a tampon. Oh, God.

She says something like, what did she say? She said, is it like she's half asleep i can tell she's like is it gross that you used it or is it gross that it was sitting there i'm like no is it gross that i picked it up and used it and then i think she fell back asleep she didn't answer me she's like fuck off i threw it away when I was done good man careful dogs eating dental floss can jack up their intestines

well that's good advice thank you that's really good advice I think actually we had that happen once as a kid seven glands seven's glands why just change the picture already or two pairs of born primitive shoes but they run small for me,

and now they're sold out. It's a cruel world, people. Yeah, but now you can probably resell them for more than you got them for if there's no supply for it. Who knows? Yeah, what size are you? Sell them to someone on the show. Maybe turn an extra $10 or $12 off those bad boys.

maybe you'd turn an extra 10 or 12 bucks off those bad boys. And finally, Fanny Spiegel, how does Mikey Wittius think it will go for him at the next CF event? I mean, it'll be fine. People will be nice to him, but if he thought people thought he was a trip and stared at him before because he was a dwarf, it's just going to be weird. Yeah, he's going to know.

I mean, no one's an asshole at those events, but yeah. Cave Dastro, I need a size 16. Good luck. All right. Caleb, thank you. See you guys tomorrow, 7 a.m. Andre Houdet. You don't know, you will know. Bye-bye.