The Sevan Podcast - Sara Sigmundsdottir & Justin Cotler | Sara TELLS ALL!

Episode Date: May 15, 2024

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That's BetterHelp.com. meeting with friends before the show we can book your reservation and when you get to the main event skip to the good bit using the card member entrance let's go seize the night that's the powerful backing of american express visit amex.ca slash y amex benefits vary by card other conditions apply uh justin kotler justin kotler ladies and gentlemen Underdogs Athletics Bethany Shadburn, Carrie Pierce, Daniel Brandon, Ricky Garrard Alex Guzzan Oh my god the most exciting thing in the space

Right now and then of course the great Sarah Sigmund's daughter There was a hall of fame She'd be in it She'll be joining us today Thanks for doing this dude Of course dude absolutely and typical sarah she's she's late and uh and uh uh no she didn't want to steal the show uh from

us she wanted to give us a few minutes yeah right hey 7 a.m where you're at too look at you yeah bro i know what i'm gonna barely my kids are still sleeping at the moment mine too isn't that nice i snuck in i snuck in here i was like oh shit let me not wake up the kids yeah uh what time do you normally wake up around this time um we get the kids ready for school um my wife and i so they gotta be out of the house like 8 15 so they sleep probably for about another 30 minutes and then help make breakfast and get them off to school man and get up and roll hey i want to tell you congratulations what a uh what a cool stable of athletes um that you have i now that now that i just said all these names you know what else is interesting and correct me if i I'm wrong, is Gazan came in her prepubescence of her career, the twilight – or is that the twilight? The early.

But these other cats, Bethany Shadburn, Carrie Pierce, Ricky Garrard, Sarah Sigmund's daughter, it kind of makes a pretty big statement that these are people who were crazy well-established and then come to you because by this time, and I know this is a sweeping generalization, but probably a lot of people have lost trust in a lot of people. They've become more guarded. They've become more popular. They, they've become more set in their ways and they're probably harder to tinker with and take feedback. So it requires a different kind of patience as opposed to a gazan.

So congratulations. What a, What a great variety of skills you must have, interpersonal skills you must have to run all these guys. Thanks, man. It's interesting. It's just a different balance, you know, between obviously an athlete is at the beginning of their career and an athlete who may be as well established, but is just looking either to kind of rekindle a career or, you know, just looking for, for trust. Maybe they've, they've kind of lost confidence or whatnot and, you know, and, and it's, it's, it's been fun, man.

It's been fun to be a part of this for such a long time and have so many different types of athletes and, and be a part of so many athletes journeys. But yeah, it's exciting, excited now. I mean, this is a great time of the year for me, uh, obviously, you know, tough news with, with Sarah and she asked me to come on and help kind of explain a little bit what's going on. It's her story to tell though. And I'll, I'll kind of sit back and let her do her thing. But, um, yeah, man, it's, uh, it, it's, it's quite a life. It's quite a life we lead. Miss Sarah. There she is.

Hello, legends. Speaking of experienced athletes, look at you, man. It was just yesterday that you were brand new to CrossFit, and now you're one of the most senior people there are. Look at you in all your wonderful glory. So you're pregnant. No, not so good. I wish that was the case. A little junior to the world that's not

sarah's pregnant everybody don't give my mom and dad hope here sarah i love uh talking to you uh about your life uh trying to get you to tell me about boyfriends and and stuff like that. And then you and I have been talking just through WhatsApp, that weird app that you foreigners use. And then this morning I see your post that your years come to an end, but not your career. It doesn't sound like your career has come to an end. No, no, no, no.

But that your years come to an end. Yeah. How far back do you want to start? Do you want to start like 2020 or 2021? Yeah, I mean I think I would tell that. I love the details. I love the details. Okay, okay, because I love details too, so that's why we get so well along, you know?

Okay, good, good. Where are you? For starters, where are you? I'm in Dubai. Dubai, okay yeah and are you going are you going to france still no i'm not i yeah okay okay go ahead yeah so uh 2020 yes let's start there um as people know about me, I'm a little bit clumsy. And I fell on a box two weeks before Rogue Invitational. And I got 12 stitches and it didn't look that good, to be honest. Okay, were you doing a box jump and you hit? Was it just your standard crossfit?

Like, oh shit, your shin scraped the front of a wooden box? crossfit like oh shit your your your shin scraped the front of a wooden box it was uh yeah it was i was doing back squats with jumping to try to be more explosive when my legs are heavy um and i hit the edge of the box and it was a very clear cut so like i thought it was the bone but apparently it wasn't the bone i just saw a white thing and it was just this open wound like very deep and I was like fuck I'm competing in two weeks here how am I supposed to train before rogue and stressing out and and then it like it wasn't that much of a deal like he stitched it up and I asked like should I be on antibiotics and he said no just put this cream on and you'll be fine. And I was like, okay. But, you know, when you're a crossfitter, after three days, you think everything's fine.

So you just continue training, right? And go straight into it again. And then I did Rogue and played second in Rogue. It was a bit off, but didn't really think about it. It was the COVID year. So I was like, maybe I had COVID in January because I was very sick. So maybe this is aftermath from that. Like, we didn't know anything at that time, except for that COVID was going on, you know?

Sarah, if you took second at Rogue, but you also said you were feeling off, what do you mean you were feeling off? I was just very weak. And like, three days before it was like, when your body has just been under some stress for a while, you know, it's hard to explain. I was just, you know, when you're competing and you just there's something that just changes in your mentality and you you can do these things that you usually cannot do in training. But because it's a competition, it's like just adrenaline you know and it was just something off but not in everything mostly just in strength so you didn't feel like you showed up you felt like a little dull yeah it's just because it's uh

it's in my own gym i don't feel as much as it's like right in front of the crowd yeah so you couldn't get it so you couldn't get up for the competition and you were kind of surprised you were like where is sarah yeah it was exactly like that because i had competed in waterpalooza prior to that and me and tia were just um had to head that whole competition and like i had had so many good experiences and then all of a sudden there I was like what's happening now here uh and I didn't overthink it I just took rest after Roke and I was like I'll be fine I'm just a bit overtrained and there's extra stress because of

COVID and and everything like that and then I was doing a Volkswagen photo shoot three months later and I had still been like getting fever sometimes randomly. And it was very off. And I, you know, at that time you just thought that it was COVID. You just blamed COVID for everything you were feeling and you couldn't really go to the doctor. I still do that. I still do that. Yeah. Me too. Yeah. And, um, and then I was doing a Volkswagenkswagen photo shoot and i was

putting like leggings on and all of a sudden there was this extra knee on my shin and i was like oh fuck so i had to go to the emergency room they had to cut it up they had to squeeze it out and then you had a deep infection yeah and it had been there for three months wow yeah did it affect the bone did it affect the bone no thankfully it didn't well like it was it just came out and as soon as it was coming out a little bit i went to the what do you say the er so okay i go cut it up they squeeze it out no drama i get antibiotics and games are after three weeks at that time and uh that was the online online games and when i competed there i was still so off after the games. I take three months off. I start training again.

I tear my ACL. Like I'm still just in this process of like, what is going on here? Like, why am I getting these hurdles? Let me ask you this. What was it? Was it a weird dose of antibiotics? Was it bigger than normal?

Cause I remember we had Daniel Brandon on and she said she was on antibiotics and she felt off at a competition. And then I started doing some research and it's pretty common. And then I about that about a lot of ufc fighters they'll be like oh man i was on a big dose of antibiotics i did not feel like myself no it's one of the worst things because it ruins your gut and when your gut is your second brain so it messes up with your hormones and like you experience like a mini adrenaline fatigue because your hormones are imbalanced and then you're under stress again. So it's all all related to the gut. OK.

But yeah, then I take my ACL and after I. Sorry, sorry. One more thing. When you took the antibiotics, did you get instant relief from the infection? Did you see it start going away? Yeah. So because they squeezed it out. So it was just very um sore so i took 10 days off like i just decided like i didn't want to take any risk

of sweating into it or anything so i had to take 10 days off and um and there was no sign of anything after it i was just i just felt like i was sick still let me ask one more question too this is gonna be an awkward one when you're preparing for a photo shoot do you also change your diet you're like hey there's gonna be a camera on me i need to look extra lean i need nothing like that okay okay good i i wouldn't do anything like yeah i wouldn't do anything like that because it was performance year. You want to eat enough to be able to perform. If you don't like the way I look, fuck you. I'm coming to work.

Exactly. All right. All right. All right. All right. But yeah. And then through my ACL, I go through surgery and I tackle that rehab like my life depended on it because I was like, I'm gonna go on to that competition floor and

i'm gonna show that this is possible and and more antibiotics with acl uh uh surgery no i had painkillers for about two days and then i just stopped because i didn't need it you know i don't care that i'm in pain because like i'm not training. You know what I mean? Like, I can handle pain if I don't have to perform. Sorry. Also, one quick question. Mr. Watkins, does Justin Kotler have dreams where he still has hair? No. Okay.

Okay. All right. No more questions. Good question, though. Yeah, fair. Good question. Good question. Tyler's recently bald.

He's probably uh no okay i've been shaving my head since i was a sophomore in college so okay sarah do you ever do you ever have dreams where you're bald no like that's my phobia let's say that i don't think i can pull it off you can pull it very well but i would not be able to. Sarah, you could pull anything off. Okay, so ACL surgery, no antibiotics for that. Is that weird? Or did you push those away because of your experience with the first round? I just tried to be on as limited stuff as I can because I don't want anything in my system.

I want my body to heal it naturally, you know? to heal it naturally you know okay um like yeah i in my memory i only had uh like very strong painkillers for two days and i was actually very good because i was i was using game ready like there was no tomorrow so like my swelling just went away very quickly which was what does that mean what's game ready you were using game ready It's like compression and ice. So I was just, I had saved some seasons and F1 drive to survive. And I was just watching that and icing my knee and, and dreaming about doing a semifinals because they were the same weekend as, as my surgery. Okay. So, but yeah, so I just, yeah, did the recovery and rehab as like by the book,

let's say that like, I didn't do anything that I shouldn't have done. I just like did upper body for four months and just try to do everything that I could to be as ready as I could when I would get the go, you know, it's like ACL is four to six months of the graft fully healing. And then you can start testing it. Okay, let me ask you, what do you mean the graft fully healing? Did they put a cadaver ACL in you? So, no, they used my knee tendon or patella tendon to make a new ACL. Okay, okay.

Yeah. And then i compete at dubai and i am very off still but i i also had a few uh a few heartbreaks on the way in the acl like my dad got diagnosed with cancer which caused a lot of stress two months before dubai and i lost my dog he got hit by a truck so like boy i i was blaming it a little bit on like fuck i'm i'm still just in a in a sad state and i don't feel like myself yet uh i compete at i want to can i hear that story really quick? Not to overlook what happened. Is your dad okay now? Yeah, my dad fully recovered. And he was actually, he had surgery, I think. It was like four days before I competed and was in hospital.

So the thing that I was thinking when I was competing is like, my dad can watch me while I'm out on the floor while he's in hospital recovering. So that was my main, like, why I competed. And your dog, did he pass when he got hit by the truck? Yeah, he died, unfortunately. Were you there? No. So because of my ACL, I couldn't walk the dog for four months

because I wasn't allowed to hold his lead because the ACL graft takes time like it's so easy to uh to re-tear it again so uh my mom and dad had him for four months and I was about to get him after three days and uh he got hit by a truck in a most random place in middle of nowhere yeah yeah it was uh it was a shock let's say that but um but yeah so there were there were a lot of things that happened so you went to dubai i keep interrupting you you went to dubai and what happened in dubai i just was uh doing rehab with my uh physio here to be ready for DFC so DFC was my first competition after ACL what year uh 2021 and how did that go

it didn't go that well like the first workout that they announced was running down the ski slope and I was like I don't know how I feel about this being my first workout back on the competition floor after AC Altair and I was like well if I if I don't test it now I'm always going to be in fear and Justin right before I went on that floor he, it's so good to see the light back on the competition floor. And I was like, what do you mean? You're the light in CrossFit. And after that, my heart just, it was just warm. And it just gave me that extra confidence in that run.

And how did the run go? How did the knee feel then? It was great. Nothing. Like, there were no problems or anything except for i was just like fuck i'm rusty from not competing i need to i think i placed seventh or something but i didn't have that kicking me like i like i usually do you know so i said to uh max at the time he was my coach and i said max i want to compete more to get my confidence back so i sign up for vodapalooza and that is something um uh

i don't want to say unique to you but you're known as an athlete that wants to be out on the you you see competition also as training you like to get into competition i just i thrive competing you know like i just love the energy and everything about it. You're sometimes inhuman in competition because you just feel the energy from everybody. It's just a unique experience. I always think, well, this is my journey here as an athlete. Why am I not enjoying this as much as I can? If I love competing, why am I not competing as much as I can so if I love competing why am I not competing as much as I can you know

yep okay but yeah so um and then the second heartbreak happened at waterpalooza uh I was doing the lifting event and something happened in my knee and I was like I think I I retore my ACL I finished the event or went as far as I could it was a lifting event and I just couldn't squat all of a sudden. 2022? Was this 2022? Yeah. Was it a split jerk? It was like hang clean split jerk ladder, I think.

Or hang clean and jerk ladder. Do you remember this, Justin? Which one it was? Yeah, it was funky i just remember they did it with a short bar and everyone got yeah 963 like the weight went up and like i did it in yeah i did in training in like 121 or something and then in competition i just i couldn't finish the middle bar because something just yeah happened. So I went to the medical tent after, and he did, like, a test on my knee. And he's like, you re-tore your ACL.

And I just couldn't believe it. I was like, but I didn't hear a click. You know, when you tear a tendon, you can obviously hear it. Like, I can still hear my ACL getting ruptured when I tore it. So I was like, I don't believe that I tore it so I'm gonna I'm gonna do a MRI here so I uh turned my 007 scale on and try to get an MRI in Florida as soon as possible so I see what's going on because I was gonna uh move to atlanta right after vodapalooza so i wasn't going back to iceland so so yeah i get an mri and the weirdest result comes out of there's no sign of an acl in your

knee so your body denied the graft probably around month four and i was just like what have i been doing all of this without an acl because like when you're coming back from tearing an ACL, your biggest fear is re-tearing. So every time that I was hesitating and wasn't committing to a lift was because I was so afraid of hearing that click again. So, yeah, so I didn't, my body denied the graft. And I was like, What can explain that? Usually, that's more likely when you get a graft from a dead body or something like that. I'm reading here the body can absorb the bridge-enhanced ACL repair eight weeks after the implementation.

The implant is made from a bovine collagen and contains the patient's blood to activate the clot formation is that what did you have but you didn't have the bovine one you had your own i had my own yeah okay okay they just like my body just saw it as a as a odd object and heat it up wow interesting okay yeah so i had come this far without an acl Wow, interesting. Okay. So, yeah, so then I just start training and try to make it to the games. And I'm still just this overly tiredness, not myself. I can't explain it. It's just so off all the time. If I rested, it didn't get better. My knees were always getting swollen.

Both of them? Both of them? Yeah, both of them. And I was like, oh, my left knee is probably swollen because I'm compensating for the right and I'm trained at the same time I'm not like this is AIDS I'm not handling this way well and like all these things to just verify but then I was also trying to get some answers from doctors but while I was trying to be a professional athlete which is it's so challenging you know and some days I I was myself and some days I wasn't and it was just it was a very weird time and I'm trying to like I was trying to like

ignore what my body was was trying to tell me the whole time so a rule it's a roller coaster you can't you you couldn't get settled with okay something's wrong and this is what needs to be fixed because one day it would be bad and the next day you'd be like oh I guess I'm good again yeah and I would be seeing some specialists and talk about it and everything but nobody would figure out what it was everybody would just say it's because you don't have an ACL and your body isn't reacting well to your training and and I was like no it it's not that like there's something else going on you know when you just feel it in your guts but nobody knew the answer so i had just like put the white flag up and just like okay i if i'm gonna

make it back i need to ignore these signs from my body and i need to freaking push and then i competed is that like a decision do you sit down and make that decision is that like before I'm looking Patrick Clark said you went to lowlands that year and you almost made it to the games yeah so so before lowlands you're like okay um this story of of being injured has to be just put aside and um the only story is that I'm going to try my hardest. You have to like compartmentalize that. Yeah. Like you have to learn how to ignore the pain because there are no answers. So you're almost that convinced that it's just in your head. Like I am like that. I,

I maybe this is definitely not the right way. And hopefully nobody would like, nobody else does this also, but I just am almost in the mode of like, you're just being weak here. Like, so the opposite of what people say, listen to your body.

You're like, okay, you'd be quiet. I'm like, I've had enough of listening to my body because it's not to get, it's not getting me where I want to go. Like, I am not going to let some,

uh, some ACL control where my goal is, but still I wasn't able to go there you know and like in that period I got COVID uh two times my back went like I was getting all the signs of like you have to calm down and back off and figure out what's going on but it's very hard to do that when nobody has any answers or like answers for you and um and and what i'm starting to realize also about you guys that i it's weird that it took me so long to realize this or maybe i'm just real re-realizing it is the games athletes have pretty um taxed immune systems yeah and so you you you're you're like a formula one race cars you guys are really fast on the

on the field but if you hit a pothole you're fucked yeah it's exactly because you can't get out of it it's just that like i call this the snowball effect you have a little nickel but our sport demands on we have to be good in everything so like okay now i'm just gonna do upper body and then from there you you create niggle in another place instead of just like, hey, I'm going to calm down here and then I'm going to get back. But it's like we're so addicted to training and we're so afraid of cold. And you feel the best. And it's like a drug, right? You feel you might be sick.

You might have a cold. You might be fighting some sort of infection. But you do a workout. And then 30 minutes after the workout, you feel great. So you get a little reprieve from it okay yeah you get that dopamine fix that you were looking for but it but it's also crossfitter are just are just known for like we just we push ourselves so much to the limit and we we have done these things that weren't supposed to be able like we couldn't do before you know like who can lift the 90 barbell this many times crossfitters came along and we we showed that

it's possible you know so we almost look at ourselves a little bit of like we are a little bit inhuman and some little thing is not gonna stop me so easily versus we are actually all human and it will come out in another way later on you know um so then you you you uh i'm stealing this from patrick clark so you go to lowlands this is 2022 or 23 this is 22 22 you don't go to the games no and then and then and then 2023 rolls around and tell me about 2023 how was that 2023 so i went home from atlanta after not making it through last chance like home is home is iceland or dubai yeah okay no home is iceland always iceland but second home is dubai you should learn this now simon i'm learning i'm learning but yeah so uh i i go back to iceland i i got some bone bruising from my knee being swollen for so long and pushing through it so

i had to take about two months off i decided i was like i need something that is going to take my mind off crossfit and what i what i want to achieve and And so I decided to do a private pilot license, because you don't really need your knees to be a pilot, you know, so I can just switch off and just finish that. And then I can go back to being an athlete, you know. So at this time, have you moved to underdogs athletics by this time? No, no. Okay. Okay. okay not yet i'm still with i'm i'm with training think think at that time and uh and i felt that i i wasn't quite thriving in that environment i wanted to be uh like i've always felt very good in dubai

but so to max as like i love atlanta and everything but I really want to be based in Dubai. I want to be close to Nick, my physio. So if something happens, I can go directly to him and he can help me out. So I decided to be based 2023 here in Dubai. And because I didn't have an ACL, I was getting like a Duralone injection in my knee which is like helps with cartilage or slows the cartilage damage down and um and I asked Nick do you know a doctor that could help me with this and he says yeah here is here's the contact and just message her so I message and I get a session with her and I sit down and she does it through a sonar. And she's like, why is your left knee so swollen also?

And I was like, I don't know. I think it's just like, you know, compensation from using my left leg probably more because my right knee was injured she's like nope this is not right like there's a lot of sign of inflammation here and there's something behind this what month is this if 2023 this is may a month before semifinals okay so a year ago yeah exactly a year ago and she goes the extra mile to try to figure this out i go i do blood tests i do two mris i see a rheumatologist and we get the results and it's reactive arthritis which relates to 2020 when i got this infection in my shin which is so insane like from a box jump all of this happens when i hear sarah when i when i think of arthritis arthritis to me the definition of it is when the bone and the joint aren't aren't a good

fit basically the inside of the joint is not um holding the bone well and basically that's the generic term for arthritis do i understand that correctly yeah but there are so many types of arthritis you have osteoarthritis which is also like bone on bone but so mine is called reactive arthritis which is like my immune system is still so uh reactive of the infection so like let's say that your immune system is working on 80 percent or 40 percent or something it goes on to this 1.5 speed and is protecting you from everything that you're doing so if i train and my inflammation response is oh i did legs today my immune system is just panicking i'm like okay let's put fluid there. Don't get rid of the fluid so she doesn't do this again, you know?

So just excessive inflammation everywhere? In the joints. Do you see it anywhere else? Do you see it in your skin or do you see it anywhere else? So I see it now like I've had these white spots for so many years and I never understood why they came so and that's a sign of that your immune system is is overworking apparently but there's nothing there's nothing that obvious except for my knees being insanely swollen all the time and heat in my joints you know and heat heat in your heat okay yeah a lot of heat in the joints so like everywhere elbow ankles spine for me just knees okay and elbows if i am overworked

and stressed like what i've been for the last month because i got sick and i didn't let myself heal completely that's when i like that's what we call like a flare-up just everything goes downwards almost and and so you have a uh it's an overactive immune system yeah so i'm now on like i started on like immune suppressants uh last year and i thought at that time, I was like, oh, this is the perfect time. That sounds scary. Is that scary? For some reason, I don't want to suppress my immune system. No, but you want to suppress it if it's working at 150% versus 100%.

Okay. It's affecting you because it's overworking. So what the immune suppressants or what this medicine should do is that it brings your immune system down to, let's say, 80%. And then you get used to that. And then you slowly stop on the medicine and it should balance itself out. Okay. Are there any side effects from the immune suppressants? There are a lot of side effects. And that is you are so prone to infections you're prone to getting sick when you get these things everything takes so long to heal i mean the so what's so insane is that i get diagnosed with this and i have a call with justin like five days later and i'm like justin i i actually just got this news of blah blah blah blah and he he's like okay I have good

experience because I have autoimmune disease also two of them so it was like some things just happen in perfect timing so like the understanding from Justin has been just incredible do you have something similar Justin with you Is it similar to that? I developed psoriatic arthritis. So yeah, I've been dealing with autoimmune disease, unfortunately, since I was 17. But I have a lot of experience with some of the medications and a lot of the symptoms actually that Sarah has been dealing with. And it's interesting that we started together kind of right when she was having all of those appointments with the doctor and was, and was finding out about this autoimmune issue. So it was, it was, I mean, you know, it was kind of kismet in a way that, you know, it kind of worked out that I fully understand. I've been on, unfortunately,

some of the medications she's had to deal with. I've, I've dealt with some of the side effects I've dealt with, you know, your immune system being so compromised that, you know, you can't battle infection, you can't battle viruses, things that are that normal people get over relatively quickly, is really challenging. And I think people who have autoimmune issues, autoimmune diseases, can relate very very well because it's, it's incredibly frustrating. You know, you feel like you're, you know, the kind of like the beacon of health, especially, especially Sarah. But, you know, there are things that, that happen that are, you know, out of your control a lot of times because of, because of the medication. So,

you know, it's tough. because of the medication. So, you know, it's tough. Obviously, you guys probably know this, or if you don't, you know, during COVID, I became fascinated with the immune system. And I became fascinated with vaccines. And one of the things I heard why there's so little information around the immune system is if people give you a drug, let's say you go in and you take some Vicodin, and it makes you sick, they'll switch you to another painkiller. But when you mess with someone's immune system, especially at a young age, once you start tampering with someone's immune system, it's forever changed. And once you change the immune system, it stays with you for years.

It's not like, hey, I took this drug and then I stopped taking it and my shit went back to normal. It's not like that. You know what I mean? It's not like getting off of Tylenol. normal it's not like that you know what i mean it's not like getting off of tylenol so that when i hear you uh tampering with that just seems like a very delicate unfortunately i don't think society sees it that way but the immune system is very delicate and you don't want to fuck with it you don't want especially the kids immune system exactly and like i didn't when i got diagnosed with this, I didn't expect everything that comes with the medicine. I started medicine three weeks before semifinals, and I was like, I'm in such good shape that I can handle it.

Before semifinals went in 2023. 2023, yeah. Okay. So I started the medicine three weeks out of semifinals. And I timed it so I was like, if I make it to the Games, I'm four months in of this medicine. I just, my positivity just went straight to, this is going to work. I finally have a solution.

And like, you know, so I was like, okay, this is perfect. So I'll start the medicine right away and I have to get through semifinals and I have to be top 11. So like compared to the shape I'm in now, it's definitely possible. And so I made that decision. I told Justin one week into the medicine, I got an insane infection. I didn't sleep for about two weeks because of what kind of infection where it was just a very bad infection that hit my nervous system wow it's just like yeah like what happens when you are suppressing your immune system and that some some infections can come up

that your immune system has like uh how do you say it's like what your immune system can work through. Things come up from like the past, you know, like what, look at what this guy just said. Keep pushing on your own pace, Sarah. I was diagnosed in 2001.

I was in remission for 15 years. COVID kicked it out and almost done with another two years of treatment. That's awesome. And that's kind of what you're saying, right? Yeah. But, you know, when you've been so healthy and so fit and you have this small obstacle that you think is your ACL, but it was actually an insane thing that I just I knew nothing about you know and then I compete at semifinals and I'm so out of it because of strong medication like I didn't I remember like

this and you remember it's like I didn't my mouth was so dry because I was on some medication to stop the nervous system from being in so much pain because I would just get aches everywhere and um like I was trying to push myself to be able to make it to the game so I was training on top of this and like it was just uh it was very it was a very hard time but I I just had a belief that that medicine would work and it ended up six months later it didn't work so I had just gone through all of this shit for nothing and that medicine made me lose like the front of my hair it made me get like a skin skin rash and it was just it was awful it made me feel so nauseous all the time and it was one of the worst things that I've experienced and it was so good to have Justin there because I would be telling him all

this and he would have gone through this and he would have recommendations. So what I should like ask the doctor and everything. So, so it was, it was a rough time. And then I started new medicine and I got a breakthrough. And I said to Justin, like, I'm back. I was, I went out of the car and I could bend my knee today. Like all these small winds of just like these insane things that you never think about when you're healthy, you know? And all of a sudden for eight weeks, I was myself again. And then I traveled to Australia and I got a flare up and the medicine stopped working so my body made antibodies against the medicine you know and uh yeah sarah um why um just out of curiosity not that you owed it to anyone but why didn't you talk about it then why why now why didn't you mention it then i i didn't want to have an excuse it's hard to explain this.

I wanted to tackle it and I wanted to make it and then tell the story. But I told myself that, like me, Justin and the team, like the doctor and Nick and everybody, we made a decision after Australia because I was having such a big setback in Australia. I could not walk downstairs because my knee was so swollen. You were there to compete and you couldn't even walk downstairs. Yeah, and I was just like, it was so bad because it was getting worse every week and I didn't know what was going on and being in Australia and being so far away.

I was just like it was so stressful that time and I was trying to like relax and and it was just it was a very very rough time um and I on my way to to Iceland so the doctor that diagnosed me is here in Dubai I messaged her and I was like can we please meet before I go home I need to get a plan into place of like what I'm doing this season where I'm gonna live and how we're gonna tackle this because I'm not insured here in Dubai and I'm insured in Iceland so I had her and then I had another doctor in Iceland and then people or like the doctors had mixed opinions and like my head was just getting cooked in the process and I was like okay I need to choose one person that I'm going to follow

that can make a plan with me that believes in me and um and that's the doctor here in Dubai and that's why I'm based here this season because when you're on these medications and you're starting new medications you need to do a blood test regularly because they're not good for your liver and always when you have a small setback you have to like you almost want a checkup every time because I did not want to experience the same thing as in Australia I have been on a insanely good path since I started training again which was mid-February like I had to take November, December, January like almost completely off and then I started 13th of February just to be 100% with the dates here I remember everything because it's been a rough time. And we made a decision at that time of like,

this season might be out of the window because we need to get control of this condition before you can actually push yourself again because your body is just, is in overload, you know? And what the medicine will do is it will calm it down when I find the right medicine. And everything was just going very well in the open i was surprising myself of like fuck i actually did pretty well and

and uh then quarterfinals and i was like wow this is so good like everything was just clicking again and um and then after quarterfinals let me ask you this sarah so sorry you took three months off you start training again february 13th a couple questions what did you do in those three months what do you do with yourself oxygen tank i was just i i spent all the hours that i would be training trying to recover so i would do like uh um cryo is it called cryotherapy like the ice I would do red light therapy and I would do like an oxygen um chamber okay everything I could to be as healthy as I could again and um so February 13th, you start the open. You feel good. Is there any part

of you when you don't feel good? You're like, okay, but I'm not going to tell Justin and the doctor that I can get through this. I'm going to keep this to myself. Do you find yourself not wanting to tell people? Yeah, of course, because I want to get where I was

so bad. And i don't want them to lose believe in me and i don't want them to think that i'm weak you know and that's what i've learned the hard way is that it isn't like that like there's always an understanding you know but but even though there's an understanding you're still keeping some secrets let's say i'm not keeping secrets but it and i'm not judging you for that i, and I'm not judging you for that. I'm not, I don't blame you for that. Like, like it's like, if, if I see my knee is swelling up a little bit, I'm not stressing about it until it's like constantly for two to three weeks and I can't do something. And then I'm telling Justin, maybe, okay.

Okay. Okay. After running, this is what's happening, but I do the open and you qualify for quarterfinals. You go to quarterfinals. You do great. I got a virus after quarterfinals. Oh, what kind of virus? Do you know what you got? Just like a stomach flu virus. Okay.

Just out for a few days. The one that's getting out. How bad? Like you stop eating stop eating virus yeah like just a proper fever virus you're just in bed for two days and okay watching watching entourage and just trying to forget all the stresses in life all right and how's there how's your vision during all of this did you does it ever affect your vision? Yes, of course. As soon as you get a flare up or a setback, you just question everything that you're doing.

And what am I doing wrong? What can I be doing better? I feel like I often message Justin and I message the doctor and I'm like, I don't understand why I'm getting this flare up again. I don't understand why as soon as my heart rate goes to this i cramp everywhere and i don't understand this and i just want to train i just want to wake up put my training clothes on and go training and not have all these extra worries you know okay and of course your vision gets like i mean you're actually i i don't mean just like your vision of the future but i mean like your eyesight how's your eyesight no no that's a difference that's connect so my arthritis is isn't connected to anything in the in the spine like i think that the autoimmune

you're talking about is i can't remember what it's called but it can affect the some nerve in the spine that can have an effect on your vision for about, like, you see everything blurry. Yeah, okay. So you're good there. Okay. And then you go to quarterfinals, and how do quarterfinals treat your body? Quarterfinals are pretty good. I was very lucky with workouts, you know.

Like, there was no shuttle runs. There was nothing that would be impact or, like, except for the box jump overs but usually that's what would flare everything up again that would be impact but it I was I was very good except for being sick and and um like we've been we've been keeping for now because we're slowly we're slowly getting somewhere with the medicine like each week i feel better and better and better because the medicine is kicking in but as soon as i experience some stress so let's say quarterfinals my immune system goes even lower you know and getting sick yeah but maybe lengthens the process again of the medicine working properly. So like we've been keeping away from a few things to not get this setback.

And quarterfinals was very good in that case. Like there were no, yeah, there were no shallow runs. There was 150 boxers where you had to step down. So I wasn't quite sad sad about that to be honest and and then the semi-final workouts come out and I'm just like very you know very excited because quarterfinals went so well but I could still feel that I was a bit sick and like I still had like some cough and and just like off you know you don't have your fifth gear there you're just stuck in third gear after being sick so we're just like me and Justin just decide like okay let's

just let's cruise through the workouts see how they feel and then just from there everything just started going a bit downhill like I stopped sleeping because I was so stressed I stopped like my knees started swelling up and that's why I was so stressed so stopped like my knees started swelling up and that's why I was so stressed so I was like I'm getting the setback again like in Australia what do we do here what can we do and what's so hard about this is that there's nothing you can do in this state but rest and wait and and I said to Justin I was like I don't want to tap out now because we've come this far so if I can still do the workouts last weekend or like the weekend that was before now like I want to compete and Justin just supports me and everything but

then I just couldn't run anymore because my knee started getting so swollen again and and like my immune system was just so fucked sorry for my language but then I I saw the doctor and I was just like is there something we can do and he's like Sarah you're you're digging yourself into a hole here again and I'm just reminding you of what the goal was this year was to get this under control before you can actually push or go into sixth gear again and that's the exact same thing as Justin said it's like we tried and it just we didn't have enough time to be ready we're on the right path and we have to continue on this path um so you wake up one morning and you get out of bed i'm assuming when you wake up every morning there's kind of it's different now it's like

you do a check oh i feel great i can brush my teeth i can i can pet my dog yeah like 30 minutes after a workout you you feel that oh shit like i'm swelling up again so you try to ice like i have my great game ready to ice after acl to to try to ice and compress i i got an ice bath to do an ice bath two times a day to like get my system going and try to take anxiety away because anxiety is the one thing that causes your immune system to even crash because you're just, it's an overwork, you know, like the stress has such a bad effect on you. And when some things mean so much to you and you want it just so much,

you try to overdo everything. Like I would show up in the gym and I would warm up for like one and a half hour so I could not leave any doubt behind that I tried everything I could today to be as best as I could. You know, and then I would do the workout. And I wouldn't even be able to push because I was in so much pain. And I'm so focused on the pain and that everything is going to get bad again. And the fear and everything. It's just like a snowball effect a snowball effect you know when did you

decide that you weren't going to do semi-finals sorry when did you decide you weren't going to do semi-finals uh on sunday after trying the last attempt of doing the workouts and what's today today's tuesday yeah so two days ago And so can you walk me through that? You're in a gym in Dubai. You try the workouts. And then when you're done, like how soon do you know? Who do you call first? And when you hear it come out of your mouth for the first time, is that hard?

Like I'm sure it's a thought. And then it's like, oh, man, I might have to actually say this out loud. It's more just like I tried the workouts. actually say this out loud it's more just like i start i i tried the workouts and i did the the double under from scott one and i started feeling it like two hours after that i was like my knee is swelling up here uh i need to like get on top of this so i can't take my physio but it's like because it's arthritis related, you can't really control it. It just means that the medicine hasn't had a full effect yet on it working. You know what I mean?

And then also when you are sick, you feel everything way more. Like not just for autoimmune just in general so like I was trying to tell myself when I was trying out the workouts it's just because I'm still a bit sick and then I would rest way more than I would want to and me and Justin were just like okay we just we just do the workouts or interval of the workouts to see like the uh like see like the the paces we need to hold and how we do this and how we do that and I would feel myself I would send Justin and I would tell Justin like I I tried to do the run faster I I couldn't even put weight on my left leg so I was limping and and then I tried to power clean and it took like this much time to like it was just

like a add-on effect testing out the workouts and it was never getting better it was just getting worse what I was trying to do because I I wasn't able to let my body just fully recover and that's what I did before I tested the workouts last weekend was that I gave myself a proper rest for about what was it like from Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday four days of just like very easy training uh with a little bit of focus of intensity so you don't like lose your damp a little bit and and then trying the workouts and I was trying to I had warmed up for the clean and jerk one and I couldn't even run 50 meters because that I was just in pain you know I had just been pushing myself too early after being

sick and my body was just punishing me after it you know and so and so so sunday after the did you know sunday morning when you woke up that hey this is gonna be a bad day or did you think you still had the hope i'm just trying to figure out that moment when it's like you have to be like cross over that that peak and be like okay i can't it it's like one hour i would you still well let me ask you this before do you still believe that you're not going to semifinals? Have you come to terms with it? I have 100% made the decision, or like me and Justin made the call this weekend. And have you come to terms with it? Does it feel real to you?

No. I'm so sad. And I'm constantly thinking, I'm like, well, maybe adrenaline can help me through it, and maybe this, and maybe that. Or maybe you'll be better in three days. Yeah course and that's exactly right i mean those are the tricks those are the things your brain's gonna say right maybe it'll stop raining and we will get to go outside yeah yeah and you and i'm a very i'm usually a very optimistic person and and then it's just like i didn't want to tell a lot of people about what I was experiencing, because if I would then go, you know, like I didn't want to be, you know, you don't want to spread the negativity around you when you're going through something like this.

And then I I talked to my mom and dad and I mean, they had booked tickets. I don't know how long ago and we're super excited. And then I was just like, I'm'm sorry I like I have to drop out and that was very hard because you you almost feel like you're letting people down sure in a way but then you look back and like what what I'm dealing with now is like when I go to bed and I'm trying to fall asleep I'm reminding myself of like I did freaking everything that I could. There was, there's nothing that I can think now that I should have done better. You know?

You're not like, Hey, I fucked up. I did this. I did this. I did this. You've been on the straight and narrow. Yeah. I've been doing everything. Diet. I've been doing ice baths. I've been extra warmup, extra prehab, extra rehab. Like I've been getting body, like I've literally done everything by the book. And it just wasn't enough. And I just needed more time. And like, what's very sad about this is that I really wanted to achieve this.

about this is that I really wanted to achieve this but I'm still I'm just so happy that we have figured out what is causing all of this and that we're actually on the right path here but we just need to stay on that path for a little bit longer instead of rushing the process which I am very good at you know you know what's crazy Sarah uh sorry to be so superficial it's just who i am you are just absolutely fucking amazing looking like there's no way look there's no fucking way looking at you that there could be anything wrong with this human being i mean you are a fucking spectacle you're like you're like um you don't even look real i mean mean, it's just like, you're such a marvelous looking human being. All these photos and all these videos just show you moving so perfectly.

I was watching some video of you doing snatches today. Maybe it's this one. I've never seen your snatch look better. I've never seen your mechanics look better. Yeah. And I mean, that's something I've been working on, but right after that, I couldn't run because, yeah, like it's so insane, like how the body works. I mean, your skin looks great.

I mean, you just look you look so fucking great. Like who would have known that you're going through that? Hey, let me just ask you this fucking really weird question. Let's say you were to get pregnant today, get married, and just hang out and just live a normal life. You know what I mean? You do CrossFit three days a week. You hang out.

You walk your dog. And you do the most glorious job in the world, which is raising children. Would all that shit just go away like if you took all everything off of your plate um not that having a kid would be that but like if you just like walked away would you just get better physically no no so so so it would not so it's not just the fact that you're pushing yourself to the limits that make you look like a perfect specimen. It's not just that. It's about that I want to control when I want to stop.

I don't want something else to control it. Okay. Okay. Like that's how I think about it is that I'm not gonna like I have this condition and it is 100% treatable and I will find a way to get through it and I I would really like to show people that are going through stuff like this that with discipline and hard work and everything like anything is possible you know it might take longer than you expect it. But like giving up is just not an option.

And even if I would have triplets like my dream is, you know, if I would have them, I would still be thinking, how can I get back there? Poor Justin. He stuck with me until we reached that goal, you know. You know, it reminds me, Sarah, when just prior to Dave Castro getting fired, I remember him saying reminds me, um, Sarah, when, um, uh, just prior to Dave Castro getting fired,

I remember him saying, Hey, I'm not going to do it. He was talking to me and he's like, Hey, I'm not going to do open announcements anymore. I'm going to slowly start walking away from the games. I really want to focus on training.

I'm still going to be in charge of the games, but I'm going to slowly distance myself as the face of the games. And then he got fired. And I remember worse than getting fired for him was exactly what you said like those motherfuckers i want to leave on my own fucking terms this is my fucking baby i put my whole fucking life into this i'll tell you when it's fucking over so that's kind of the i guess for people like you guys who are just always trying to take things to the pinnacle that's part of of the control that comes with it.

You want that control. You want that decision. Yeah. And of course, you can't control it. But I have so much belief, like, and I'm crazy saying this, but I have so much belief in like, if you do not give in, if you just go through it you will get the rewards and i mean starting in a gym when i was 17 and i was a chubster and competing for the first time when i was 22 i like that chubster yeah that's where i am in my fitness i'm a chubster and uh and like the only thing that

got me through that was that i didn't question where I was going. I just did the work to get where I wanted to go, you know? And that's the same with this now. It's like I am not going to accept that this is taking away from me, you know? I can't walk away when I still have some possibility of getting through it, you know? Prime Day is here. still have some possibility of getting through it, you know? And... Prime Day is here. With epic deals exclusively for Prime members,

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What's sometimes hard and what life teaches you is that you need to just surrender and let the things happen a little bit and not trying to control everything. And I've been trying to control how my body feels and control how I perform while trying to get this medicine and not taking that into consideration of why I feel this way. I'm just judging myself. And this is something that I'm learning now. Just like you need to calm down and you need to get this condition out of control. And then you can start building on that.

Justin, can you tell me about Sunday? You're sitting around the house, slapping kids around, looking at some programming for the week. And then you look at your phone and there's a message from Sarah. Like, can you tell me about it?

It was worse than that. Yeah. Justin, I'm very emotional. And I was walking the doc and he called and I just cried. I couldn't stop crying. So you were calling, so you, you're like, okay, it's Sunday. I'm going to, I'm going to call Sarah and check in on her. Yeah. But to be honest, it wasn't a surprise to me. I mean, I I've known for weeks that this was touch and go, you know, I, I knew her body wasn't in a great place and I mean, Sarah, you know, Sarah's a fighter and she's tough as nails. So she's going to, she's going to try everything. Um, but I knew it was very, this was a very realistic possibility. And to be honest, it's the right decision without

questions, the right decision, you know, the unfortunate thing about, you know, this, this disease and autoimmune disease in general is generally it's, it's stress that, that flares things, you know, and, and I mean, CrossFit athletes, I would, I would argue train harder than any athletes I know in the world in any sport. So there's constant stress. And, you know, unless your body is in a state that it can handle that. And I think with the change of medication, you know, at the beginning of the year, our goal was this year was to get her to a place where she could train hard so that she could go out onto the competition floor and with a, with a version of herself that, that she wanted to present, you know what I mean? They're just, and, and I think we got a little

bit lost in, wow, the open went really well. Okay. Quarters, you know, it was pretty good too. But at the end of the day, there, there wasn't enough time. And, and, and ultimately I think that, that what's most important is giving her the ability to now have some patience and go slowly and build herself back up. But, you know, specifically you asked me about, about Sunday or even all last week, because I think we had had that conversation earlier in the week, you know, where it was like, I don't know. And my thing was like, listen, I, you know, here's the deal. You don't, you don't have to do this. You don't have to force yourself. No one's got a gun to your head. You know, you can go out there if you feel good and you know, your team is going to support you. And obviously I'm going to support you. But at the end of the day, we should go out there only if you have confidence, confidence in yourself, confidence in your body. And when we tested the workouts, there's just a couple of movements right now that, especially running, jumping, those are the big ones, bounding, where it's just not ready. And that's okay.

There's nothing wrong with that. There are plenty of athletes in the history of sports who've dealt with a lot of shit and had to take time to come back. And that's where we're at. How do you manage saying the right thing that lets you know you still believe in her, that she can do it, but that also you accept her if she can't? Like, because you don't want to say anything that gives her an out, right? Like, but you also don't want to say anything that makes her make a bad decision. Well, I think it's also my job. It's always your job as a coach to protect your athletes.

Like you can't, you know, above all things, obviously, you know, you want them to be tough as nails. Like you want them to, they have to be, right? Like you can't teach that. You got to have that. But at the same time, you don't want them to put themselves in jeopardy that where, where it could create something catastrophic. And, you know, but Siobhan, no one gets to see the, you know, I programmed for Sarah, I get to see her numbers. I get to see what she's doing. And there are things that she can still do

with that are like, holy fuck. You know what I mean? Sarah is still Sarah and she can do these things. I mean, even in quarterfinals, I mean that workout three with the rope climbs and the muscle ups. I mean, you talk to anyone who did that workout, Sarah did that in under nine minutes. That's top 20 in the world that, that workout, you know, like she smoked the majority of, of people in the world. You, you can't do that on that workout. That's not a fucking, you know, like she smoked the majority of, of people in the world. You, you can't do that on that workout. That's not a fucking, you know, dumbbell snatch burpee workout that anyone in the world can do. That's a workout. That's an elite CrossFit, uh, workout. And, and she finished top

20 in the world on that. So, you know, that there are, there are still elite things, right? But the issue right now is that, that, that her body is still dealing with, you know, this, this disease. And, and, and, and so it creates symptoms where some of these movements are, are just unbelievably painful. And, and so we're in a situation where we've got to allow enough time that, you know, her body can handle it and just haven't had that yet. So, you know, that's the path that we're on. And, you know, I think it's she never wanted to make an excuse, but I think it was important, you know, for people to understand. Like there's still people talking about, oh, it's Horatio, it's this people, you know.

And so when you when you can talk like she's doing today and control the narrative a little bit and be like, this is what I'm dealing with, you know, and I'm, I'm doing the best I can. It's, it's a challenging situation. I think people who, who, you know, haven't dealt with something like that aren't exactly sure. But it's, it's not just, you know, oh, fuck, you know, it's not feeling good or this or that. No, there's, there's a specific reason for it. And it, and it's challenging and, or this or that. No, there's, there's a specific reason for it. And it, and it's challenging and we're, but, but at the same time, you know, we're going to do the best that we can to prevail. Yeah. Sarah, do you have a plan now between now and like, how far do you look? Are you already like, okay, 2025 open? Like, like what, what do you, where, where do you go in your brain? I'm there yeah i need to calm down

but there's no time limit and that's the thing that i think is hard for her that we have to decide we've established she wants to compete yep and so um you might i'm just getting and then you did say that you want a plan and i and i get that even if you don't follow the plan you want something to hold on to you want structure you want you want that the carrot you know and and i want to say this about uh about these pictures that you post in this movement that you post it also shows that you have incredible discipline i know it's not fucking easy to stay at like you're basically you pull your ferrari out of the garage every day and it still looks like a a Ferrari to all of us, but you know that there's some issues under the hood. And I know that's not easy either.

That means that you've had to probably adjust your diet. You've had to adjust your workouts, your movements, your schedule. I know that you've probably had to adjust everything to stay ready in case – or not in case when this thing subsides that you're all the you haven't you haven't um neglected anything right you can't be like okay fuck it i'm taking six months off i'm just let myself go to shit and hang out and then come back it's obvious you're not doing that no and it's definitely what what has been the hardest is that i take time off because i've gone overboard and then i start again and then all of a sudden i go overboard again and i have to take time off because I've gone overboard and then I start again and then all of a sudden I go overboard again and I have to take time off so I'm always like what's been so hard is that that

rebuild again of like and you're always afraid of that you're gonna go like that you're gonna have a setback you know so like the rules that I have now is just like i'm doing everything in my like ability to do like all the things 100 that i can control you know like you say diet i can do gymnastics so well why am i not making all these things my strength now and that's why i mean it just after i decided or after we decided not to compete i I was like, I still want to train and I still want to do this. And Justin is like, calm down, Sarah. Like two weeks, calm down. And I'm like, I don't want to calm down.

Like I still want to be good in the things that I can do. But it's just like your system is just overboard. And you always need to let the system come down before you can push again and that's what's so hard is like before i would need one day rest and now it's like okay let's try this now here two weeks post this and you don't lift for two weeks like there's the inconsistency in training is what is so mentally tough you know you do a squat cycle three weeks in I can't squat today oh okay let's wait one more week okay I can squat again four more weeks into that I can't squat again you know and it's accepting the circumstances and making the best out of it

instead of letting the emotions take control and just like judging yourself you know oh I could have done this and oh I remember when I cleaned 112 kilos like I'm constantly in that I could do this that time and now I can't do this and that's what's messing with my head and what's so interesting is that as soon as I'm not in this pain when i'm doing the specific movements the sarah is there the competitor sarah and and that's what's so exciting is that i know deep inside that i can't come back if i can get this condition under control you know and uh you pointed something else out there you're a you want to have a plan and so what you also have to do now with your situation is accommodate the fact

that your plan has to be crazy flexible yeah it has to be and that's so rough for me because i need to see the the goal i need to see the root and i need to see the path of how I'm going to get stronger and everything but then then you have a bad week or you have a flare-up or something and you're like but my whole vision here is gone you know like and that's where Justin comes in and calms me down and shows me everything is completely fine just stay in it you know so so what is the what what is the immediate let's say between now and um let's say september let's say for the next three or four months what is what is what what do you do i first of all i am gonna make a plan with um the doctor i i just did a blood test to see if the medicine is still working and what's going on

with this infection and stuff like that so it's just like um getting like getting on top of things from there depending on the results like like the the pain that I'm feeling and in my legs when I'm bounding is this um is this all related to autoimmune or this can this also be structural you know or mechanical i mean so uh i'm doing two mris tomorrow and we're gonna like we always have to have everything um how do you say it's like so there can't be any questions about where we are going. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

So that's what I'm doing now is that I'm trying to figure out what's causing this insane pain. Is it because I have thickening of synovitis because of having swelling in my knees for the last three years that's causing some damage, some nerves that's causing this pain or do I have something else going on there that needs to be sorted out, you know.

So the plan now is I'm going to stay here in Dubai. I'm going to make a plan with the doctors. I'm going to keep on the route that I'm on now and keep on doing the things that I can do and Justin lets me train properly again. And, and then it's just from there, like,

I think we just, we can't make any plans. Like as soon as I feel that I've had consistency in training for what, two, three months. And I think that's when we can start doing some plans of where we want to be and what competitions we want to do and yeah and what's ahead was it ever an option just to like just to not show up to semi-finals

like i was trying to imagine this morning um i was thinking of your position like what like fucking i don't want to say anything like i was just imagining this i don't want to say anything. Like, I was just imagining this. I don't want to say anything. I just won't show up and just whatever. Like, I just let it go. And like, you know what I mean? Like, oh, where's Sarah? Oh, I just didn't feel good. I'll see you guys next year. Like, is that ever an option?

Or is there just too many fucking questions flying in at you that's like, hey, I have to somehow address this. Yeah, like when I go to the gym and people are constantly asking me about acl and oh it's still your knee that's causing problems oh this and you're like it's actually not it's it's a lot bigger than that like i don't even have an acl so i don't even have a boyfriend what do you mean i don't even have a boyfriend. What do you mean? I don't even have problems. It's your man problems.

I don't even have a man. Yeah. So it was more just like it was sitting very heavy on me to not being able to just like open up and be vulnerable around people, you know? Like I was putting this extra pressure on me. I was just like hiding a little bit. And then I would have a i would have a very bad flare-up and i couldn't do something and people would be asking me like why why aren't you doing this you want to do this with us and i would be like how do i even like

how do i reply to this without being rude because my uh my threshold now of uh yeah i want to do it you fucking asshole i can't like that's what you want to say. Yeah. Because if I don't go. So yesterday at 730 at night and I haven't worked out yet and there's no one in my garage saying, hey, where are you? It's just me. Yeah. But for you, if you don't show up to France to the garage there to work out, there's going to be 50,000 people, you know, around the world who are going to be like, where's Sarah? Yeah. And and it's like this thing is so much bigger than that you know like it's

i i don't know how many messages i've gotten with like even like an email i got yesterday about a girl that went through cancer treatment and was looking at my videos for support and now she she beat cancer and she's been through all the treatment and everything and is starting training again and like getting this heartwarming message of like I helped somebody go through something that's so hard you know and if people see me also experiencing this it's like we're not just robots that can just train insanely hard like we are also humans that experience some kind of conditions that we need to overcome and it's showing that the human in me of like i'm trying my very best here and i hope that me trying my best can give you inspiration on if you ever experience something that is out of your control you can

find the controllables in it and you can and you can like over like you can you can work through it and you can you can be the winner in the end you know uh justin um is there a common denominator between all these super high um level athletes that you work with, like in terms of how they deal with adversity? Or do you see – is Sarah unique? Like how do you see this playing out, like when you think of her and all the other people who've had adversity? I mean, obviously a lot of people just have a lot of psychological adversity, right? Yeah, Sarah's incredibly unique. I've been lucky enough now to work with her. It's been

maybe about 14 months, but we've been friends for a while. And I think the toughest thing for me is slowing her down. Like personally, you don't want to do that even if you know, like, you don't want to throw in the towel for her. You know, it's not even throwing in the towel, but it's that, you know, she, I think a lot of the times, and I think this is actually extremely common with autoimmune. I mean, I've dealt with it myself where, like, you just know something's not right. And you can kind of feel it and you kind of feel that it's starting to come on, you know, and I can, I can remember, especially with, uh, you know, all sort of colitis where you just, you, you blocked it, you repressed it. You didn't want to acknowledge that a flare up was coming, but you could fucking feel it. Like you knew it was coming and you knew whether it was a week from now or two weeks from now or three weeks from now that all hell was going to break loose.

And I think with Sarah, a lot of times like she's probably doing that right now. And I don't hear about it until all hell breaks loose. I don't hear about it when like, you know, she's starting to feel it and where we can maybe back off a little bit. and where we can maybe back off a little bit. And I think it's just trying to constantly increase and improve communication. At the end of the day, you talk about how do you slow down a Ferrari? It's fucking hard. They just want to go.

And in this case, we've got to or else we won't be able to go. You know what I mean? We just won't be able to go. But you asked her earlier what the plan was. And for me, I think the most important thing is the plan for me is joy. I want to see joy. Like I think everyone associates Sarah with that. Like when we see her on the competition floor, that smile, right?

Like that, she's had an energy. Even in this interview. Yeah. There's joy there. I can tell you there hasn't been for a while. There hasn't been in during a competition. There hasn't been in training. There's, there's been frustration. There's, there's been pain, you know? And, and when she called me the other day in tears, that was the thing that, that to me was the most powerful was like, are you enjoying yourself right now? She's like, no, I can't fucking sleep. You know, I can't, I've got all this stress and putting on myself and all these other things. And I said, you know,

listen, we, we've got to get to the point where you can go out on a competition floor and not worry about is your body breaking down? How do you feel? You have pain in your knee. We've got to experience some joy. If we don't have that, then what the fuck are we doing? You know what I mean? And so that's when you say, what's the plan? For me, it's to get her to a place where she can experience joy out on the competition floor, whether that's at a small competition in Dubai or whether that's at semifinals or the games, whatever that might be, to be able to put a version of herself out there where she's able to experience joy. And we haven't been able to do that for a while. And so for me, I think that's

my job right now as her coach. Putting all the other stuff away, whether you say, I want to make the games, I want to do this. Fine fine all of those things that that's great but but let's get you to a point where you can get out on the competition floor and and experience joy and have some fucking fun you know and enjoy competing without without feeling like shit and without your body not being able to do the things that you know it can do did Did you get your pilot's license? No, I haven't. I have exams now in June. So I have a few more exams and then I just need to accumulate hours.

So we're almost there. Is that still a goal? Yeah. I'm going to finish. You'll be flying soon. Yeah, I can be your private pilot when you're a millionaire thank you i need to be a billion i need to be a billionaire barely buy a house at your house yeah i'll get one you can't even barely buy a house in california

if you're a millionaire hey um i really i really appreciate uh talking to you. You know I love having you on. Let me ask you this just on a personal level. You guys can tune out. I just want to talk to Sarah now. Justin, you can stay for this. We were talking. You'd been on, and then we were talking, and we were talking about having you back on. This is a few months ago.

Yeah. And then Snorri's like, hey, he basically sent me a message. I think maybe – I don't know if you were on the message or not. Because – so for people who don't know, there's different ways of getting in touch with Sarah. You can get in touch with Sarah through Snorri or you can get in contact through her just – through her. And I was fortunate enough to just have a WhatsApp direct link to her. And so we would just WhatsApp just whatsapp but back and forth and i was going to have you on and then snorri's like hey uh she's not coming on and uh we'll let

you know when she's ready to come on and that kind of caught me a little off guard i was like oh that's weird because i usually i just deal directly with sarah was that about was that tied to this you were just going through some shit and he was like hey let me put a little shield around you and get reprieve from all the people that are coming into your shit it is i'm gonna take all the stress off you for now you just need to freaking calm down and and okay hold on let me let me cross snory off my list of assholes hold on there you go all right i was like this fucking guy what's he doing he i'm working with my girl sarah and he's he's like that was story being a good

manager my fragile little ego was hurt and so i'm glad to hear i'm glad to hear that i'm really glad i'm really glad to hear my fragile little ego was hurt and i was like what the fuck man like what did i do with me and Sarah. I actually felt bad. And you know what's so bad is that I felt bad that he sent you and not me. I was like, why am I taking this so personally? And so I was like, this is what managers do, Sarah. And I was like, I just, uh, Yeah, that, that makes me feel better.

Thank you. God, I crossed the boundary. I start thinking, I forget this is just a superficial podcast. I started actually thinking like maybe I'm friends with some of these fucking people. Slip up all the time. I'm so unprofessional. No, no, no, no. Speaking of superficial, any chance we'll get to see you at the CrossFit Games, hanging out, maybe helping coach with Justin.

Yeah. Any of that stuff? Everything is just going to be decided. Like there are no plans as it is now because we don't know what's around the corner. You know, like I've learned it the hard way that I can't really make a lot of plans as it is now. I just want to get this one goal of of this condition sorted and then from there i like yeah we'll make plans as much as the fans would want to see you i do i do know that the the athletes probably especially the underdogs athletes would really i mean really like to like you would be a huge motivation and inspiration for them.

You are something very special wherever you go. There is a very strong aura around you. You have incredible presence and I'm sure that people like Gazan and Ricky, as hard as it would be for you to be there and not be competing. I'm sure for them to have you in the underground in the belly of the beast at Dickies would mean just a shitload to them, right? That they can see you, that they can put their eyes on you and kind of rest their own brains. You bring a lot of value to a lot of fucking people just with your joy and your presence. Amen. And I don't mean that just to go there and sign autographs.

So, and I don't mean that just to go there and sign autographs. I mean, just to be like the athletes would probably, I mean, you, all the athletes know who you are. You're a staple in the community. You're a powerhouse. Yeah. So you're not, you're not amongst the, amongst the oddballs. You're one of the biggest oddballs. I mean, you are so not normal. So, yeah.

Thank you so much. You're melting my heart. Well, it's just the truth You're a special creature Thank you Alright well thank you Thank you very much The point of this podcast Was so I could cross Snorri off my shit list

And I did that And I feel pretty good about that Job done Thank you for letting me uh uh do a little my own personal house cleaning on the show that's supposed to be about you uh well congratulations uh uh to to like making it this far to coming to terms with it um you're always welcome to come back on the show we don't even have to talk about knees or autoimmune we can just shoot the shit and you know yeah yeah you're always welcome to come back on the show. We don't even have to talk about knees or autoimmune. We can just shoot the shit and, you know.

Yeah. Yeah, you're always welcome. Definitely keen on that, yeah. All right. I'll message you straight next time. No snoring. No snoring can. I think I'm cooler than I really am.

So I have my own issues. All right, you guys. Justin, thanks for doing this. I really appreciate it. Justin, will you be in the West? Yeah. I can't wait to see you, buddy. Yeah, bud.

Me too. I can't wait to see you. Thanks for having us, man. Sarah, thank you. Yeah, thank you so much, Sean. All right, you guys. Have a great day. Later, bro.

Have a great day. Bye. Bye. Well, that was... She handled that well Fuck that must be hard Fuck I want to announce to you that this is my last podcast I'm taking six months off

Oh my goodness Fucking antibiotics man I wonder how much that played a role she made a post this morning also it's time to be fully honest about what's been going on the past three years geez louise first person up here, Alex Gazan. That must be a wild decision to make. Holy cow. Yeah, she's fucking beautiful. Man, she is something special.

What is today? Tuesday. Did you guys notice the thumbnails are different? They got a little different. There's this guy who's been making thumbnails. For a long time, Bruce Wayne made thumbnails for like fucking forever. And then I think he's on vacation or something. I don't know what happened.

So we needed thumbnails. And this guy's been making thumbnails for me now. And I like them. They're cool. Andrew's like, what the fuck? He calls me. He's like, what the fuck's wrong with you? I go, what do you mean?

He's like, why don't you have any thumbnails, dude? You need thumbnails. He's like texting me and Susie. You need thumbnails. I'm like, shit, If Andrew says I need thumbnails, I probably need thumbnails. Half of you are like, what's a thumbnail. That's the picture on YouTube.

So it's not just like a picture of me, like frozen like this, like talking to Caleb. You put like a picture there. Like even if the show is not about Dave Castro, you put a picture of Dave on there, like hugging Danielle Brandon. And then people are like,

Oh, I want to see that show. Seth. there like hugging danielle brandon and then people are like oh i want to see that show uh seth i've loved sarah ever since she came to the scene her energy is just amazing i agree thumbnail yeah the um the new kill taylor one is great yeah that one that show basically um will brandstetter has just taken just complete control of how that show presents forward facing to the world which is awesome like that's just all will all the posts on instagram the thumbnails the way the screen looks like basic will such a G will will should be running Disney yeah we'll we'll just take I didn't even ask him just to complete control just stepped up and I was

like all right I'm on the show. Oh, yeah, the thumbnail guy just texted me. What's this guy's name? Brad. His name is Brad. I guess I should put him in my contacts. He's just a phone number. I'll call him Brad the Thumbnail Guy. Brad Thumbnail.

So listen, this is Thumbnail Guy. I'll put after Bruce. So this guy sent me thumbnails yesterday for the Dave Castro weekend review show. And I haven't put them up yet or Sousa or Caleb. I haven't put them up yet. And he's like, Hey, don't forget about these.

God, I fucking love that hero. I'll send these over to, uh, those guys again. This thumbnail is ridiculous too That he made Me and Pedro in argyle vests

I want to show you guys something Do we ever do mob shit? Like where we go over somewhere and kick someone's ass? I want to show you This chick's... I want to show you this chick. I hate to be a bully. I don't know if this is bullying, but...

Rachel Hosey. Let me see if I can find her. Rachel Hosey, business insider insider you see just dumb shit sometimes uh oh tia toomey business insider is like i don't know if you guys if that's an international um group but they are the dumbest of dumb they're the worst it's the worst journalism in the world they're fucking horrible not only how they present but um how they do their investigation during the whole floyd 19 thing the shit they did was just gross they would call people and and basically lead people in in their questioning i don't want to get into it too much more but um

look look what look how they look how this is it's just pure victim shit and i don't put any of this on tia by the way none of this um uh where is the um six-time fittest woman on earth had a baby she wants to prove it won't stop her winning um uh where was there's a line in here there was a line in here that basically thinks that like some people like people don't think she's gonna win again like does any does anyone Think that Tia's not gonna win Does anyone I mean besides maybe a few of the

Fucking dreamers a few of the girls Out there Like she's 100% gonna win The stakes are high the 30 year old Australian is the only CrossFit athlete male or female to have won the game six times Now she's working hard to reclaim her place on the podium Tia Tumi Orr is struggling Training alongside being the face of various brands associated with the sport

Why would you have to juggle that? Your sponsor shouldn't be something you have to juggle Including the new apparel partner to the Games, Goruck. She also runs her own CrossFit gym in her home of Nashville. I doubt very highly she runs that. Toomey knows some people doubt her focus

now that she's juggling motherhood and training. But that just drives her to prove them wrong. Listen, no one thinks that. Kevin Doyle, Laura doesn't. Laura doesn't think she's going to win. Fair enough. All right, there's one. I'll write that down, one.

Like, dude, Business Insider, no one thinks she's not going to win. she's not going to win. I mean, she's she like no one no one thinks that she lifts weights with her baby strapped to her. She drinks rain with her baby strapped to her. She's like there's nothing stopping her. The business inside her, the business inside, the business insider. Yeah. I like that. T to me, or wants to show that parents can still achieve their goals if they are

determined. That's definitely a motivator that I've been using as I'm chipping through the season. Yeah. Cause you asked her that or because she said that. Tia Tumi Ur went on to shock fans when she competed at the Rogue Invitational. Well, that's kind of true. That part's true.

Tia Ur. Oh, they don't even put Tumi. Oh, Tumi Ur. Oh, they don't even put to me oh to me or oh they don't even call her to me or trains five days a week with one full rest day and one day for active recovery such as swimming she's tracking in the right direction jesus criminy i think we're going to see the best version of her we've ever seen. I do hope that Laura puts on a show and is able to hang with her. No, Laura is not winning. Frank Dubac, Sevan, Laura isn't winning.

No. Tia is un-fucking-beatable oh caleb said it's uploaded or suza did look at the pictures already uploaded damn that's fast it's uploaded oh suza all right thank you sweet thank you when you when you guys say thank you to people do you type out thank you or do you just put a ty i type it out type out kind of guy all right i don't really have anything else you guys want to hang out or what I'm seeing what's going on tomorrow Sarah and Cutler Oh Wednesday tomorrow's a big day tomorrow we've crossed the games update show in the evening and Greg Glassman in the morning Josh Bridges on yesterday. That was fun.

Right. right uh uh look up the UNC frat that raised a half a million after they stopped protesters from taking down the American flag. University of North Carolina. I know the fucking it feels like the country is fucking rallying right now, doesn't it? It's fucking awesome.

It is so awesome. On behalf of all Armenians around the world. I just want to thank all of our black brothers for doing your job. And thank fucking all the fucking black people in this country for fucking starting to rally. Thank God. I hate to refer to you as black people. I just want to refer to you as people. But thank God.

Those of you with the fucking super dark tans, thank you. Thank you, thank you, Thank you. It's fucking, it's your time, man. It's your fucking time. Applicants to jobs are 50% less likely to get jobs with, they have a black sounding name. That's not even close to being true. That is a literal, in fact, it's the opposite. I'm not going to argue your experience. I'm not going to know. See, now you have to listen to him under your rules because a black person is going to say you're wrong. I am. He can say I'm wrong.

Come on up to the mic. My name is Kimon Dixon. I have a really black name. Please tell me how 50% of my internships have been denied when I've worked for Senator Mike Lee, Mayor Trent Sacks, Speaker Mike Schultz. I've worked for a congressman, Burgess Owens. I've actually worked on his campaign. I've worked on the campaigns of John Huckman Jr. Please tell me how my black experience and my black main has not given me shit. Go ahead.

Black applicants to jobs. Fuck, I love it. Damn. There's so many now. Instagram's just filling with them. Like, fuck you. We're done playing the victim. Fuck you, Whitey.

Fuck you, Libtard. So I'm so happy to see it. I think the country's rallying, man. It's awesome what do you guys think you think country's rallying this is great okay for all the for all the bible beaters out there this one's for you let's let's discuss we have a little time let's discuss let's discuss this this is a really trippy post. Okay, so here we go. Watch this. Because you're supposed to treat other people the way you want to be treated, right?

Are you going to post this on Facebook, you weirdo? Come on! I don't have to say whatever the fuck I want. Did you damage his sign? Did I have it on Facebook? Come on. Did you damage his sign? I have it on video. I can see that you guys have it on video. So what's gonna happen? So here's the damage. So are we pressing? Yes. Yes. Destruction of private property. Yep. After good behavior, six months in community service, the judge will drop it. I am a full time student. I'm coming back here in the summertime. Next time you'll think not to do it. Next time you'll think not to do it. I don't know what he was marking out on the 1031B.

You can't find any peace in your heart and understanding. This is insane. No, what was insane is what you did for no reason. The same is that your friend is in a bunny suit and you're outside of a liberal arts school inciting you. I'm on a public street and a public sidewalk on a public street. This is probably the third or fourth flag that's been damaged. I'm on a public street and a public sidewalk on a public street. This is probably the third or fourth flag that's been damaged. Her tits are crazy. I never realized this. Her tits are crazy.

Teachable moment. What is a teachable moment? Right now. What about your teachable moment? This. Right now. What about your president that's literally getting indicted right now? What about that? Oh, for what? The false charges? I'll tell you something.

I live in Dallas. I don't want to listen to you. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay, I'm going to post this on Facebook. So this chick fucking destroyed this guy's Trump sign? I know. Aren't they crazy? They're crazy.

I should just play it with the sound off they're crazy so she brawlers girl with great rack punches are those real she punches a trump sign and gets a ticket and she wants forgiveness she she's torn though right she wants forgiveness but she also is like what she can't stop the fucking cnn talking points in her head what would you do would you like because that guy's pressing charges on her what would you do because you are supposed to you are supposed to treat people the way you want to be treated right isn't it funny? I brought this clip up and the views went down by like 10 people.

And then now that her tits are on there, it went back up by 20 people. That's awesome. Boob sell. What do you think? You forgive her? You're supposed to treat people, especially your enemy. I would definitely not press charges. Will Branstetter, a good Christian.

She fucked around and found out. Brandon Waddell, what's up, dude? I hear you. She fucked around and found out. But if that guy says hey I'm not gonna Press charges against you she gets to walk off And don't get me wrong like I just she's a fucking train

Wreck of a human you can just tell by how She's interacting and obviously She punched that guy's sign and then look at her Friends I mean Friend looks like she was hit by the fucking Ugly stick but But that's just how she wants to present that's how she gets her liberal credentials by presenting by taking a beautiful woman and uglying her up but i mean even this own girl's hair what has she done to it like

whatever she's done to it's only made her less attractive i can't tell if she has a piercing or not on her face you can tell that chick's just had the world like she's always been able to talk her way out of everything and anything smart and hot with great tits and no bra hey you know what's funny too is she came out of there and she says to the guy hey what did you expect was going to happen to your sign you're holding a trump sign in front of a liberal arts school. And what did you think was going to happen? You were trying to incite violence. What do you think her shirt's trying to incite? What do you think her shirt's trying to incite?

Bouncing titties, no bra, nipples hard. What do you think her shirt's trying to incite? Hey, I agree. I agree with her. You have a fucking Trump sign, you're fucking hanging out in front of a liberal arts school, you're going to have some confrontation. I don't know if you're going to convert anyone.

And then look at her other friend there. Her other friend's just got your standard CrossFit outfit on, four inches of cleavage, stomach showing, pants so tight you can see her fucking labia does she have a septum ring man that chick's hot imagine if she was fucking just normal she should have offered a blow job that had got her out of it for sure anyway i nothing's wrong with alabia as audrey nothing it's just when you present with it facing forward i'm just wondering i'm comparing it to what she said she basically said hey you you're holding a trump sign in front of a liberal liberal arts college what do you expect and i'm saying

what do you expect from people if you like let's just look at how she presents she presents with uh no bra titties i mean i i'm cool with it i like it i like how it presents i also like the trump sign anyway i i think i agree with branstetter i don't think i don't think i press charges against her i think i make her like date my son or something I don't think I press charges against her. I think I make her date my son or something. I mean, I'm not mad at the dude for pressing charges. I'm not I mean I'm not mad at the dude for pressing charges I'm not like um where she fucks up will though where she loses me is when she's like well what about all the indictments it's like yo yo yo dude you like you need to you need to focus and worry about what

you're doing now you know how about just tell the guy I tell my kids this all the time hey it's just sorry like I'll be like hey dude you just flew the fucking drone into like into that cherry tree and he's like uh the wind blew it there and it's like hey i don't want to fucking hear excuses just fucking i'm sorry i'll do better how about hey man uh sorry i just have um i have anger management anger management issues know it. Look at me. I'm hot as fuck. I've always gotten what I wanted, and I fucking exploded, and it was wrong what I did. Can you please just tell the cop not to press charges on me?

And then the guy would be like, no, you broke my sign. And she's like, okay, how about I'll pay for it. I'm sorry. Hey, you know what? I'll do more than pay for it. I'll come out here tomorrow. I'll come out here tomorrow and stand here and learn about Trump with you and stand and hold the sign for you that's how i would fucking handle it they had a big old biden sign and i fucking lost my cool and put a hole in it i'd be like look how about this

and instead she can't she's like she's like a a fucking dog that just can't like can't stop chewing licking its fucking cock and balls she has to be like uh what about what about uh all the indictment becoming as an individual teachable moment what is a teachable moment yes right now what about your president that's literally getting indicted right now yeah you dumb bitch why'd you say that why'd you say that damn this bit's way better than i thought i know i i just can't believe how how it works out she's commenting on how he presents and then now all we have to do is stare at how she presents if i was that cop i'd have got her phone number

anyway the tide is turning the tide is turning people are waking up I wonder if Kennedy has a chance even right I have to erase this I thought I had some better shit on here

I wanted to show you Oh here we go How about this A little comedy Uh Uh When they tell us trump lost in november then what

you know i was thinking about that i was thinking about that i was thinking just about how good my life is and how fun my life is and i need to make sure that when that happens i just still make sure i stay focused on just raising my boys good and being positive and all that but you're right i did think of that

this is gonna be a controversial one i don't think spider-man's invited to the cookout oh i know i know i'll just go ahead and read this one but hold up demi spider-man is black at least miles morales's spider-man is he's not my favorite of the spider-man because i can't relate to him as a white man but but I am still aware of him. Uh, please stop interrupting. Now, I am aware that Miles Morales is a person of color, but if I'm in Spider-Man's world, I don't know who that is. I see a man saving the world with a mask. I don't know what race he is. Which brings up an important thing that is probably complicated for Spider-Man,

as he has the responsibility of hiding his identity, but also that identity can do so many things for young people. So what is he to do? i have a solution spider-man needs to start saying the end picture this you're tied to a set of train tracks all right you see the train coming towards you you're ready you made your peace with life spider-man comes in with whip he stops the train slows it down he removes you from the tracks he saves you you've got a new lease on life you're pushed off to the side, you're feeling great, and you go, thank you so much, Spider-Man. And he turns to you and says,

hey, no problem. Now, you don't know what race Spider-Man is, but you're thinking, he must be black, right? He better be. He better be. And I think that's an experience that people of all races should have, which is why I believe Spider-Man has a responsibility to use all of the

racists available to him. Last up, this is going to be a controversial one. I don't think Spider-Man's. How good is that? That is fucking some multi-layered fucking explaining about the ridiculousness of people being offended by words, right? I layered fucking explaining about the ridiculousness of people being offended by words, right? Are there any comic books or superheroes masks that we've never seen that they never even reveal to us as like the viewer?

I hate superheroes. Me too. I used to like them. They've all gone to shit. They should keep one. That's a great premise for a superhero. They should keep a superhero. That uses some fucking racial slurs.

In an affectionate manner of course. Or what if they just had. What if they just was. What if they just made a racist superhero. He only saved black people anyway it just goes to show you how fucking stupid people are they get offended by words when when what if we didn't know what if we didn't know what if we didn't know What if we didn't know?

What if we didn't know? All right. Part CrossFit, part let me slip in my agenda. I appreciate it, you guys. I think we've weeded out most of the people who are like I didn't come here for that it's kind of cool I don't have to hear that shit anymore you guys want one more?

you want one more? you're welcome you're welcome Tom, you want one more? You want one more? You're welcome. You're welcome, Tom. You want one more? Here you go. This one's called The Truth About Ethnic Cleansing. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I've said it a million times. 1.5 billion Muslims. 12 million Jews on planet Earth, 54 Muslim nations, one Jewish nation.

Just think about that for a second. Basically, Israel is just a home for refugees. You can think of it like that, too. People call them colonizers. No, they're fucking refugees who were fucking put there on that piece of fucking land they're the exact opposite of colonizers you can spin it any way you want let's claim ethnic cleansing by israel but is this true let's examine the numbers the jewish population in morocco was about 265 000 in 1948 while today it's only about 2 000 let's continue in algeria in 1948 about 140 000 jews lived's only about 2,000. Let's continue. In Algeria in 1948, about 140,000 Jews lived. Today, only about 50. In Tunisia in 1948, about 150,000 Jews lived. Today, only about 50.

In Libya in 1948, about 38,000 Jews lived. Today, there is not even one. In Egypt in 1948, about 75,000 Jews lived. Today, only about 40. In Yemen, in 1948, about 55,000 Jews lived. Today, only about 50. About 150,000 Jews lived in Iraq in 1948. Today, only 7. In Syria, in 1948, about 40,000 Jews lived. Today, not even one Jew. About 20,000 Jews lived in Lebanon in 1948. Today, only about 100. And now, get the following figure. How many Arabs lived in Israel in 1948? About 156,000. And how many Arabs live there today? 2,178,000. Are you getting it over 2 million for comparison the jewish population in arab countries

decreased by 99.83 percent almost 100 percent and the arab population increased by 1296.15 the palestinians claim ethnic you guys fucking see that? It makes everything else fucking irrelevant. It makes everything else fucking irrelevant, completely fucking pushed out of the fucking Middle East into their own little fucking refugee camp. And now they still let the fucking over two million of those people in who push them out into their country. If you're going to use it like you're going to make history just this one timeless thing. But let me tell you two personal experiences that I've had. Two personal experiences. I was filming this movie called Desert Runners in Africa.

I was filming it in Egypt in the Sahara. And they basically take all these runners out to the desert and they have to run. And I forget how long the run is. And they basically take all these runners out to the desert and they have to run. And I forget how long the run is. It's crazy long. But you have to keep all your supplies for like the five or six or seven or eight days that the run lasts on your back. So you have to carry all your food.

The only thing you don't have to carry with you is your water. You have to carry all your food with you. And you run. And then when you're tired, you sleep. And then you run some more. And I basically made a movie about that. It's called Desert Runners. And when we were in Egypt, about three days into the run, a caravan, we were out in the fucking middle of nowhere. I mean, nowhere.

This caravan of like fucking 15 fucking SUVs rolls up on our camp. I'm like, oh, shit. And a bunch of dudes get out. And they're fucking obviously like they look like dudes in like they look like fucking SWAT team members and they come into the fucking camp and they grab the one Jew they found out that this guy was Jewish and they grabbed him and they took him out of the country and I think they sent him home I think he made it home, but he wasn't allowed to run in the desert there because he was a Jew. I'll tell you another, the other story. I flew into Beirut, Lebanon one time on a flight and I'm going through customs. And as I come up the tunnel, I see this sign and it says,

if your passport has an Israeli stamp on it, you will be turned back on the first flight back to where you came from. I mean, it didn't even matter whether you were Jewish or not. But if you've even been to Israel, you're not allowed in our country. I don't know what happened between Drake and Kendrick Lamar. I never followed it, but the other day someone was telling me that Kendrick Lamar won the blah, blah, blah. But I just think Kendrick Lamar is just a racist piece of shit. You guys saw what he did to that girl on stage.

He called that girl up on the stage, that white girl, to sing at one of his concerts. And when the song was playing, it had some racial slurs in it from his song that he wrote and he performed And he called her on stage and then when she sung them He fucking started fucking berating her in front of the crowd after he called her up there to sing about him He set her up She almost got fucking killed. They had trouble even getting her out of the uh, the venue

Fucking insane fucking insane Patrick Clark did you see the hate Luke Parker got on insta with his post on his trip to Israel no I didn't send me a link to that so I can go in there and kick people's asses yeah our daughter was born in Jerusalem they told us to make sure her birthplace did not mention israel yeah it's fucking crazy dude

yeah kendrick's a cunt i don't care who won that back and forth between them or whatever the story is but he's a he's a world-class bitch. He's a spreader of hate. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I love it. Matthew got paid from Kill Taylor. Paid in full. I never thought that would happen.

I never thought you'd get your cash. Awesome. Everyone paid him. That's cool. Vindicate, Doc Spartan and Matuthian, and Corey Pulido from Proven Business Plan. That's dope. Shit. This is like a real game show.

Like, we actually paid out our money. No, I say cunt. I say the c word i don't say the b word um because my mom doesn't like it and i and i wasn't saying libtard for a while because i i felt like i said it with such venom that it it created hate in my heart what's this? Someone just... Andrew's been... What is this? What the fuck is this? Andrew's been denied media credentials. Please comment if you have been denied.

God damn it, Andrew. You're posting all of our metrics. I know. I don't mean to be a fucking bragger. Yeah, I do. But my YouTube, this YouTube station is exploding. you guys are fucking the shit it's more than it's exploding it's that i have cool people like um um jedediah in here just yeah you avoid association with can West you avoid

I don't know what that is can West is that or is that code for Kanye I've indicated yet America is the problem we don't we don't people go we don't we do not people go protest I shit listen I expect more from you Travis I'm joking um how much does someone need to win that they have to claim for taxes

oh god please please please this isn't like a real business or anything uh jason bark barkamire barkamire it's crazy how you only have 29 000 subscribers to 343 000 and have more views it's because you got and those 29 you guys are just savage here's the thing and i'll tell you what i. So, so Sarah's a great get great superstar, great guest, always huge numbers. Right. And so when she's on here and when she leaves, if the viewers don't drop down,

then, you know, Oh shit. Okay. So there are some like-minded people on here. And when you get a shitload of like-minded people together, it doesn't take very many to start like, um,

uh, causing, uh, influence. Right. So, um, um, It doesn't take very many to start causing influence, right? So that's basically what you guys are. I don't want to talk about taxes. You're going to fucking get one of these people in trouble. I pay way more taxes than I should should i don't fucking claim enough shit i make a playlist of videos from the sebon podcast i let it play all night until i wake up that's how you get views i appreciate it

yeah you guys are the influencers yeah exactly that is truly how it works. That's what's funny, right? It's not Andrew Hiller and his 40,000 subscribers on Instagram who are like fucking like legit real followers. It's the people who follow him are the influencers. And when I say legit real followers, this is what I mean. If Andrew doesn't come up in your feed, you look to see what he posted. Whereas other people you follow, like Hoochie Mamas, you don't ever go to look what they posted. If you scroll by it, you get some tits and ass. It's not part of your – it's like these two websites I go to every day i always go to mac rumors and i always go to sony alpha rumors i go to them every day just to just like keep up on what's

coming out it's like that that's why 40 000 followers who follow i think that's what hillar has uh the 40 000 people who follow and Hiller, those are like real people. Like they care what he has to say. They're not just looking for a fix, a random fix to some titties. Oh, shit, I got to go. Hold on. I'm going to mute myself here real quick. Let me answer this. okay i'm back

yeah so so andrew has 42 900 followers i want to he'll break 43 000 today um and those people like like people go there like people might go there like three times a day so you go there three times a day and like who cares if someone has two million viewers and like and you never and you never like like I think I might follow the Rock I haven't seen him pop up in my feed once ever Yes that was A-Rod I can't take these off my desk Patrick Thanks again for sending them to me I want to like take them off my desk Because my desk is getting cluttered

But I just get so excited every time I see Tyson 9am guys on Saturday Taylor self versus the world Don't even bother calling in this week, you know that the workouts gonna be so hard this week. It's gonna be like truly impossible Like he's gonna make it for sure. No one can win this week So you guys are fucked He's going to make it for sure. No one can win this week.

So you guys are fucked. You know what's cool about CrossFit too? Arm wrestling is like this too. It's like even the best guys get beaten. Fighting is like that too. Like there's just no. Like just no one can be undefeated. Carla does the workout have to be for time? i mean i i don't care what he does

i just like it i just like i just like uh taylor's just a man because like he'll talk shit the whole fucking time before after he'll talk shit about himself if he loses like he's just a shit talking machine like no one's safe he's not even safe from his own shit-talking can you imagine how can you imagine you have to remember that too right that's why like people um when people are just really fucking mean you know that they're really their inside voice is really mean to themselves like that's how you didn't know they're fucking miserable right that's why all the liberals are miserable you just know and you see it in their face like they're all fucking contorted and shit and they punch holes in their face and get tats and color their hair like they're just they're doing stuff to torture themselves to fuck themselves up because that's the fucking voice

inside their fucking head so just imagine like when uh the the bead down he gave himself when he lost holy shit but here's another thing I was thinking about just think of think of who else would do that at his level and put their shit on the line five times every week for the whole world to see dude he's gonna be inoculated from competition stress soon or or he's gonna to be inoculated from competition stress soon, or he's going to have a fucking mental breakdown. I mean, for us from the outside, it's like no big deal who gives a shit, but dude, he takes this shit seriously, man.

Colton ain't beating shit. Let me tell you something. Colton knows. That's why Colton hasn't tried to get in. He knows. He knows Taylor's making these workouts. He doesn't want to get beat up by a fucking bald semifinals athlete. Although I will tell you this.

Now that I think about it. The second best person for that show, let's say Taylor dies tomorrow, I would ask Colton if he could take it over. That's the next best, because he talks some crazy shit too. Crazy shit. God, is Colton going to the West?

I hope so um um um the west what was i gonna say colton damn i forget i'm trying i'm trying to oh he is I forget I'm trying I'm trying to oh he is the West I'm trying to line up a shitload of people who are going to the West to start coming on the podcast let me see if I can tell you who's coming on so far

Patrick Vellner and Sam dancer on Thursday and then I thought we had some other ones I don't see them on the schedule I think we're going to get god damn it I thought we had some other ones I think we're getting Rebecca Fuselier who else I sent out a bunch last night

of invitations thank you patrick for the list too um oh i invited justin madaris on i don't know if he'll come on um who's this oh yeah so rebecca's rebecca's game oh scott tetlow okay scott tetlow too his game i just don't see him on the calendar um who's this oh devin kim yeah yeah yeah god that's good i was stressing i thought maybe i didn't okay so we are getting a shitload of people there's not on the calendar yet okay so i'll try to load up the calendar um you uh what you uh i was i've tried to get Cole Sager on before He's fucking hard to get a hold of

I'd love to have Cole on I'd like to do a whole 90 minutes with Cole Alex Stein Okay I could get Alex Stein on Like after semifinals Hans Kim I do bug Hans Kim Emma Lawson

Is Emma Lawson going to the West? I'd love to have Emma Lawson is Emma Lawson going to the West I'd love to have Emma Lawson on I wonder if Andrew could hook me up with her I don't know if I think I don't know if I have her I think she's she isn't is she West Coast I'm only doing West Coast I don't even have Emma's phone number I think I have her boyfriend's phone number. I didn't see Jack Farlow's not in the West either. I'm only doing the West guys right now. If Colton's in the West, the semifinals will be

just all up his shit. I'll try to mic him. I'll basically make it the Colton Merton show. I'm so fucking into him. Is Angelo going to the West West I thought he's going team what's up Slater all right thanks for watching glad Sarah's Sarah seems to be doing you know

accepted her next step in the journey that's good it was cool kotler to come on get snorri with emma i don't really like is ben smith going to the west i would fucking love to have Ben Smith on. What if Ben Smith made it to the games again? That'd be awesome. No, dude, he's East. Okay, well then fucking don't suggest him. Whoever the fuck suggested him. I'm only doing West Coast people.

And I'm not doing teams. I'm doing dudes and chicks in the West. I don't know. I think Justin might come on. Justin ain't coming on. You're so shit with Hillary. I think me and Justin are cool. It's fine.

Is Ariel in the West? The thing with Ariel is the thing. Oh, Emily Rolfe. The thing with Emily. Yeah, I would love to get both of them on. I'd like to get both of them off, too.

The thing with both of them is they're almost, I think they're going to the games. I have no doubt that those fucking two super chicks are going to the, I was going to say super beef, but I should show some respect. I think both of those chicks are going to the games. gonna say super b but i should show some respect i think both of those chicks are going to the games um not that super beef is disrespectful i don't think it is but um as we get closer to like to to the event you kind of have to clean up the talk i think um but i think both of them are going and i kind of want to just focus on the bubble athletes you know what I mean? Like, I think Sam and Colton, I should get James Sprague on. I want the show to be about people who are going to be fucking, like, hovering around the bubble.

I don't really care about Colton, whether he hovers around the bubble or wins. I'll cover him anyway. He's a shit. Yeah, someone needs the cut line athletes for the drama. Yeah, thank you. That's what I need. I know. I know, Colton.

To some people, it doesn't matter. Yeah, like, I don't think Justin Medeiros is going to be a bubble athlete either, but I'd still like to have him on. Devin Kim, yeah. I'm going to fucking all be all up in her shit, too. I like her a lot. And i of course i will if ariel and emily are there at the um semi-final i'll fucking film with them as much as fucking humanly possible madaris is not a bubble athlete you're out of your fucking mind you're smoking crack but if uh i i will cover them

But if I will cover them. Excuse me. Okay, I'm done. Taking the kids to the guess. Guess where I'm taking the kids. First person who guesses where I'm taking the kids gets $10,000. My mom thought when I was a kid, my mom thought accused me of shaving my eyebrows some uh christian kelter says savon has hiller eyebrows today but i never shaved them they're just all fucked up like that that's just the way they are but that kind of hurt always hurt my

feelings i'm like she thinks my mom my sister thought that i shaved my eyebrows but they're just they just they're just weird they're just just like, you know what I mean? Like I have I have eyebrows here and then I have another set of eyebrows here. I make two sets of eyebrows. God, those things are what a mess those things are. I'm going to a trap house, Greg's house doctor to get vax public school dentist tennis damn you guys suck strip clubs swimming beach skate park ten thousand dollars for olivia yay oh no seth got it first oh geez louise got it first no augustus link got it first oh geez Louise got it first no Augustus Link got it first Cave Dastro got it first

who gets the Cave Dastro 10 grand let me check the rule book oh it says for anyone except Cave Dastro can win alright see you guys soon love you guys buh bye