The Sevan Podcast - SMTP Cancelled, Dubai Programming, Michelle Letendre Programming Mainsite // Shut Up & Scribble

Episode Date: December 15, 2023

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Wow. What's up up ladies and gentlemen this is the so keep the political commentary to yourself or as someone once said shut up and scribble

it's time It's time! It's time! So we've got some big news. And that is that SMTP HQ has burned to the ground. It has been destroyed. It has been burned to ashes. Luckily, though, I bundled my home and business insurance with State Farm.

And thanks to Patrick Mitrovich, we are covered. So if you guys are located in North Carolina, South Carolina, or Georgia, and are looking to save money on your home, personal, or business insurance, email Patrick or go to www.sfpatrick.com or email Patrick at sfpatrick.com. Yes, that's right. We're sponsored by State Farm. It's sick. That's also right. Self-made training program is no more. Tonight, it's just me for now. We're going to have a couple special guests coming on in a couple of seconds. But yeah, essentially, I guess we'll start by wheel.

I'll start by briefly talking about my day yesterday morning. I woke up in the morning. I woke up at a nice crisp 4.30 a.m. to coach the 5.30 class at our affiliate. And I coached class. And then it's 6.30 a.m. to coach the 5.30 class at our affiliate. And I coached class. And then at 6.30, I have a 30-minute break before our next class. We have a 7 a.m. class. So I'm sitting in the front room. I'm about to take a nap or do a little scrolling. And I open up Instagram and it goes, you have one message request. And I look at the request and it is a message from a gentleman who owns a very big company, a very successful company. And it said, do you have a legal team that represents you? I would like to send you a cease and desist.

And I immediately shit myself. Yeah, crazy day. So long story short, i was really pissed i was fucking heated called all my friends cried to my mom uh the only guy i still train actually a guy named larry he's a genius um extremely successful business owner called him and he's like, well, send him the screenshots of the trademark documents that the guy had sent me. He sent me the trademark documents. It's like, Hey, we have self-made, self-made training, trademarked. So remove that shit.

Sent this to him. And he was like, well, the guy was actually pretty nice by reaching out to you. He could have sicked the dogs immediately. But he reached out to you personally. I actually asked the guy if he could get on the phone. We jumped on a phone call. And he was super nice. We talked through it.

I was like, hey, dude, I had no intention of stealing your business. We're in the fitness realm together. But we're in parallel universes. We got one more guy showing up. Anyways, we're in parallel universes where no one on my program or any of the money I've made on my program has taken away from this guy's business for sure. But anyways, I explained that to him, told him I was like, hey, I used it because my last name is Self. But thank you for reaching out. I'm going to rebrand. How much time can you give me?

He's like, I'm going to give you 30 days. That's super nice. So we're thinking about going with Fuck Nuts Fitness. Fuck Fit. Can you talk? Are you muted? Yeah, I mute myself. Jeanette's making dinner, so I i'm gonna mute myself when i'm not

talking gotcha we're sponsored by state farm when did that happen yes uh this is new this is starting this month sponsored by state farm patrick mitrovich if your business burns to the ground and you're with patrick you're going to be good to go. SMTP is with Patrick. So luckily, despite the brand reconstruction, we're going to be just fine. All right, so let's get into it. Anyways, SMTP is no more. We actually put out, if you guys didn't know this, if you help us with the name, we put out a post, if you help us with the name and if your idea is used in the new name, the new brand image, we'll give you guys a free year of SMTP. I was thinking about like a free lifetime membership TBD on that, but definitely a free year. So if you got any ideas, send it to self-made training program, Instagram, although that's going to change very soon. Um, or my personal DM.

All right. What's up, John? John Young, Tyler Watkins. Super stoked about this. And I'm going to start with... Have we been 30 seconds into the show yet? Yeah, you can swear. We're five minutes into it. Yeah, I'm fucked.

I texted you outside this. I was like, I'm screwed on these topics. But I'm going to do my best. Actually, I read the article on the way home. article the greg glassman article the the old journal which the one you sent is there a different one i'm gonna be so mad don't worry about it anyways we're gonna start with this one this is uh this is cool as shit this article journal article is called the title of this article is www.crossfit.com. And we're going to start with the workout that they have posted to start.

First off, note, it's not workout of the day. It's routine of the day, which I think is just so cool. Greg, obviously with a gymnastics background, this is from February 19, 2001. And the workout is just so, and we're going to get into why this workout and the way it's written and everything about it is so important. So workout is row 4,000 meters at a two minute, 500 meter pace within the next 16 minute window,

hang clean 50% of your body weight, 21 times. And we're going to work on the assumption that this hang clean is a hang squat clean rest. The remainder of that time after you finished your 21 squat cleans. Then hang squat cleans. Row 2,000 meters at a two-minute, 500-meter pace. Within the next eight minutes, hang clean 50% of your body weight 18 times. Rest the remainder. Row 1,000 meters at a two-minute, 500-meter pace. Within the next four- window, hang clean, 50% of your body weight, 15 times row, 500 meters at a two minute pace within the next two minutes, hang clean 12 times. So first off, 23 years ago, 21, 18, 15, 12, super cool. 7,500 meters of rowing insane. But what I

think is so awesome about this workout is a two minute 4k takes you 16 minutes and you add that next 16 minutes and you're now at 32 minutes and you go to your 2k row. A two minute 2k takes eight minutes. Now you're at 40 minutes. You add that next eight minute window. You're at 48 minutes and you go to your 1k. You've got a four minute 1k. Now you're at 52 minutes. You add that next four minutes, you're at 56 minutes. Now you go to your 500 meter row at a two minute pace and you're at 58 minutes. And then within the last two minutes, you hit your last set of hand cleans and you're at one hour on the dot. I just thought that was really cool. Anyways. The hand cleans. So why are you assuming it's squat?

Because it just says clean. Yeah, exactly. It just says clean early days, early days, like Elizabeth, for example, ring dips and cleans like those were squat cleans. Well, I mean, in Olympic lifting, if it doesn't say power, it's, it's squat. Exactly. Everything is assumed squat. it doesn't say power it's it's squat exactly everything is assumed squat it has to say power when did that change because i remember that being the rule and then always

been the olympic in olympic lifting olympic i know but when did it change in crossfit because it used to always be that way and then it just stopped being that way i think now it is if it just says snatch or clean it it's however you want. And if it distinguishes, then obviously you have to move in that variation. I'm good. Do you have that in your programming, Taylor? Like, yeah, program just snatch or clean. It's how you want.

Exactly. And then if I wanted a squat or a power, I'll distinguish. I try to write with the vernacular that CrossFit uses in their standards, all of that, just so that there's some uniformity of training. People have already an idea of what that looks like. I don't try to do things differently. Let me tell you. Taylor's rules when it comes to writing are ridiculous. Well, that's why I'm interested. It's interesting that you tell you want like uh

if my coach my coach says like like he'll say power everything is a squat unless it says power um and i just assumed taylor would be the same with that that's why it's intriguing i like the uniformity though i so this article called www.crossfit.com, the first paragraph, I'm just going to go ahead and read this. On November 15th, 1999, astronomers sent a powerful radio transmission toward a star cluster 25,000 light years away in hopes of someday communicating with extraterrestrial intelligence. If lucky, a response could come back in 50,000 years. intelligence. If lucky, a response could come back in 50,000 years. On February 10th, 2001, Lauren and I first published our simple, distinctive workouts on the internet in hopes of someday communicating with intelligent life in the fitness world. This experiment has proven to

be a stunning success with a comparatively rapid return, and it gave birth to a community that is revolutionizing fitness and training i'm going to scroll down first off if that doesn't give you chills and you love crossfit you fucking suck um i'm such a jerk i i start trying to make fun of it our goal was to reach intelligent life with our programming. And then my brain says, and it's yet to have happened. Oh, my gosh. It's amazing that it all started with the website and the entire website was a workout of the day. And Greg's main goal of the workout of the day was to create devastating fitness. But more importantly, he had to reach people who had never seen his program, who had

never thought of his program, who were doing something entirely different. But when they saw it, they had to want to do it. And after they did it, they had to say, holy shit, that was crazy. I want to do it again. So in essence, we look at today and where is this part? Everything that has followed, everything that has followed, facilities, the journal, seminar, certifications, website, videos, DVDs, the store, t-shirts, the blog format, affiliate programs, message boards, etc. Everything that followed the initial spark of the programming concept, the initial spark was the programming concept, has been a direct response to the repeated demands, requests, and pleadings of the people who do CrossFit. I just think it's super cool that it all started with a workout of the day and it had to be elegant it

had to be simple it had to have people saying holy shit that looks crazy i want to try it or oh my gosh that looks fun i want to try it or wow that looks challenging i want to try it and if it wasn't appetizing and if it wasn't elegant and if it didn't elicit devastating fitness adaptations it wasn't going to work and clearly it fucking worked can i pause and psychoanalyze greg a little bit on this i'll shut up a little bit do you feel like he had like so you're sitting there it's november 15th 1999 and you're like sitting in front of a bunch of people that you need to coach and you're like i have to make you're feeling the obligation that you have to make something an hour long like crossfit's not been around yet we don't know that it's okay to work out for 15 minutes that wasn't the first workout he posted

that was that wasn't no you want to go the first one yeah first ever workout on main site workout is called fast and heavy 21 thrusters with two dumbbells, 400-meter run. 18 thrusters with two dumbbells, 400-meter run. 15 thrusters with two dumbbells, 400-meter run. Record your time, body weight, and the load you used for the dumbbells. And your score is going to be the percentage of body weight that you performed with the thrusters and your overall time. Fast and heavy. That is a workout today that if you follow the notes and you picked a weight that would challenge you to go unbroken and you went as fast as you could, that workout would fuck you up.

23 years later. How crazy is that? Do you love that? Yeah, I would do seventies and it would fuck me up. Yeah. I mean, like, I think I, I think I would try to do the math and it would fuck me up yeah i mean like i think i i think i would try to do the math on it to see how much faster i'd be with 50s but like 70s would be the heaviest i would go you could go unbroken with 70s no i i agree but how that would affect it would affect everything that's what i'm saying like i would probably do the math and see if i would have been that much faster with 50s you know i'm saying because I think you could crush this speed wise with 50s and 70s might hurt me enough not to not to crush it yeah speed wise I probably try to do the math on that but uh yeah no no it was if you went hard on it yeah it would hurt a lot you know what's crazy um's crazy? I programmed 30 clusters for time with 155 yesterday.

Love it. Because a couple people at my gym saw the first documentary, CrossFit documentary for the first time, and they were talking about it. And I was like, yeah, you won't believe how fast kalipa was on that and nobody ever sees that but if you go look at the leaderboard he's like two minutes faster than everybody and uh and it's still and i did it as hard as i could um and it was really hard i didn't expect it to be hard at all but it was uh like it mess you up it it yeah like i mean i was down for the count after if you it, if you give it your all and

it's, I mean, that's a, a games games workout, but it's 15 years later. Yeah. Crazy. All right. One more article and then I'll shut the hell up about this for CrossFitters. Fitness is part of a distinctly human enterprise, conscious and deliberate self-actualization, being very deliberately all we can be. That gives me chills too. I think you just like the wording in these articles.

They amp you up. They're beautiful. He was such a genius, like just insanity. Gosh. Reading through this. Have you met Glassman? No, I have not. A genius. Like, just insanity. Gosh. Reading through this. Have you met Glassman? No, I have not.

You didn't meet him at the games? No, I didn't have time. Oh, yeah. Physical movement, overcoming obstacles, and exercising the will is required of life and is the very essence of being human. We believe that purpose is not bestowed upon us, but created by the very act of turning thoughts and dreams into physical events in a continuous chain of efforts. The value and the cost of achievement are paradoxically contained within the struggle and nobility of the endeavor. And it is noble struggle that leads to purpose.

Holy fuck, dude. This is just, I mean, come on, come on. Before you move on so this article why fitness uh everybody should go read it um he talks about longevity so the scientist mr wall dr

walford uh passed away and his study was based on yeah on longevity but then i guess like specifically go ahead. Specifically in terms of longevity and extending your lifespan by caloric restriction, um, which I actually think there's a bit of research to support. So if you're super fat, you know, that's kind of, that's why CrossFit is like the cure to the world's most vexing problem. Anyways, continue. Right. So anyway, Greg poses the question, why would we want to live life longer when it's basically shit for the last 70 years

if you live to 150 and you just live in a nursing home? And so what, you know, fitting more life into the life you have as opposed to extending just another long shitty life. And so if you scroll down to the bottom on the left, the left column, he lists all these things that if you're an athlete, they notice these things are better in you than non-athletic populations, more extroverted, stronger achievements needed, stronger stimulation needed, more aggressive, blah, blah, blah, blah blah now there is a question there does do sports or

do athletics choose for those types of people or um do they build those type of people it's it's the impact of character on character of athletic training has even caught the attention of academics it says while scientists debate do physical training build these traits or do these traits lend themselves to athletic development meaning if are you a person who consists of these traits and is it easier for you to become athletic or does you training to be athletic develop these i think likely training yourself to develop these more than it could not be both it could be both but i used to be a fat miserable fuck and i had none of those traits and i would say especially very aggressive um i have an anecdote with this in that i was actually speaking with a co-worker i think on

wednesday or last week and she used to be a swimmer in high school and she said she used to be a lot more outgoing and a lot more um personable and all that stuff and and she's kind of an introvert now she doesn't really talk to people she she kind of does her own stuff i like her but she doesn't do anything athletic anymore and so when i read this it made me think of her and being like oh i'm wondering if those tendencies are just sort of dying out in you because you don't have to strain yourself anymore so anecdote anecdote, but nonetheless. Your webcam looks really good. It looks really sharp.

Mine? Yeah. His always does, and mine always doesn't. No, I can't fix it. I just bought a new one. You might have to get a different kind of webcam. I just bought one. I don't know.

Is mine in the middle? Somewhere in the middle, Tyler, of you guys? It says 10. I like yours. Whatever. Okay. So we're going to move on to Dubai programming. We brought in expert analyst, John Young. He's going to help us dissect this. First, before we start, one to 10, John, overall Dubai programming. I can't give a rating yet. Now, I have a question for you before we rate it, okay. If the time cap and we'll get into it,

but if the time caps were appropriate and you could change the order of events, would that affect how you thought of the program? Because for me, the ant, that answer is tenfold. You understand what I'm saying? I understand what you're saying, but I can't answer that question

because the time caps weren't different. I understand that, but the scoring would be way different. You'd have times where there wouldn't be the tie breaks. I would be interested, Tyler, if we could like an actual ranking system all the way through for those two events, I think it was two events where there were a bunch of ties and it was meaningless. If that affected the leaderboard,

if the time caps were appropriate, it would affect the leaderboard. All right. So listen, full disclosure. I didn't watch any of it because the streaming sucked balls. So John Young's taking the lead on this. And after he analyzes and we go over these workouts one by

one by one, and he tells me how they played out. You can give your rating after that. I'm going to give my rating after that. You got to give your rating to start. Yeah. Okay. So I will say if the time caps were appropriate and I could change the order of the events that they were, I would give it like an eight out of 10. I really would. Because if you take these events, and I'm sure you will, you nerd out in the programming way harder than I do. But if you take the events by themselves, just this one event, right, by itself, there were a lot of events that I thought were pretty awesome. but you can't do 100 thrusters and 60 front squats and then bike sprint you can't do that so that made all the events suck because they're they're in

the and you can't have an exit okay we'll go about we'll go a bit by a bit okay but how it was how it happened how it came to be three out of 10. Oh, that's tough. All right, cool. I'm Hey, I'm with it. You heard it here. First three out of 10 going through one by one event, one obstacle course race. Uh, from what I know about it, the only two things that I disliked about it were the colors of the obstacles.

I thought they were super stupid. Red and yellow is dumb. Ronald McDonald has no place. I don't care about pink colors. And then also, I don't like events where it's one person at a time in that race format. If it's a lift, that's one thing. But if they're running as fast as they can, I want them to run against each other. Thoughts?

Yeah. I don't mind the time trial type of event. I wish we would do this with cycling one day because time trials in the tour de france are awesome um that doesn't bother me i think that's a personal preference but uh i really wish there was like running on the front end or the and the back end like and we talked about this with spin if there was an 800 meter before the obstacle course and then the obstacle course took five minutes to do because it was a big obstacle course. It was five minutes. And then there was an 800-meter on that after it. That's an event.

This obstacle race, just it by itself, just who can play on the monkey bar is the best. I don't mind it, but I don't care for it. Yeah, yeah, I agree. It's too small of a competition to give 100 points to just – was there anything long? Can you argue it from a fitness perspective? You can,, was there anything wrong? Can you not argue it from a fitness perspective? You can, but was there anything long in DuPont? There wasn't. And I think that was one of the biggest mistakes they've had because their endurance event is usually

awesome. It's usually the best thing about their competition is they, their endurance event is so fun to watch or think about or talk about. You we don't have an equivalent to hey let's run the tallest building in the world up the stairs no we don't we can't just i know what that feels like you don't you know what i mean like and and there was none of that this year yeah but it it not being a long event doesn't make it bad like it wasn't supposed to be a long event and so like because there's not a long event you guys are judging it on that criteria i just don't think that's fair within the context of the competition and eight events there should have been a long event this was the perfect one to make it long even if it's one mile run even if it's one mile run obstacle course one

mile run then you've got a 19 minute potentially workout that's fucking beautiful um but here's what it is okay what if there were i know we're playing what ifs again but like what if there were a long event besides this one this one was still the worst well there's well there's not one so we're moving on okay we're just talking about the events right now and then we'll get to the you know what we think about the whole thing after full weightlifting competition it's pretty mandatory man it's you know just it's like an olympic weightlifting meet i kind of like this yeah i mean it's your weightlifting event i nothing more nothing less to it i don't like that everyone is

continuing to just say, Ooh, one RM snatch, one RM clean and jerk. But I think at least it's cool that they did it in the Olympic weightlifting style. Truly went Olympic weightlifting style. I like that.

I agree. I don't like that. We just saw it tested at the game. So like potentially we already know who's going to win here. Where's the suspense. I think another key thing is like each workout should have an element of suspense to it uh well they didn't cover what do you mean this event this event they didn't cover like we're watching brian friend's instagram and it's just not fun um no offense brian uh shout out brian friend if you want any coverage of this you got

to go to his shit because they didn't do any of it he covered he covered all of it the whole time uh-oh spin it was not true olympic weightlifting saw all right bro semantics schmantics schmantics dude close enough they got two three attempts at each he just means there's three attempts of a snatch and three attempts at a clean and jerk i i understand what do you mean suspense like yeah elaborate like who the fuck's gonna win this we don't know okay we know braun is gonna win this i tell you what if it was a true olympic style event i think it would be uh more suspenseful but we talked about the before and you're not you're not a big fan of that right where you oh your number and then uh hold on this is crazy they only did one lift that's not what it says on their thing they only had one

minute to lift the same weight three times hold on let's read this if you hit the lift on attempt one nine points if you hit the lift on attempt two six points if you hit the lift on attempt three three points that's retarded. Wow. That's dumb. Thank you, Chase. This is the challenge. So first off, I just want to highlight a massive challenge from Dubai. It's that the coverage is terrible, and you're trying to grow the sport with terrible coverage. What are you doing?

So the fact that we are sitting here thinking that it's like an Olympic weightlifting true style and then have to be told by Chase in the comments because no one can watch this crap. And I didn't watch this event because it wasn't on YouTube. It was like there was nowhere to be. So short obstacle course on Ronald McDonald playground implements and one person could run at a time. One weight you get to attempt in a minute? Come on. Nope.

That's another miss. Next. This is challenging that JR is not here because he can't give, like, I'm basically just going to be a dick for the whole show. This event would have been good. This event would have been good. They messed up the time cap on this event, especially for the women. But the men, like like only four people finished.

Was it a cut rope? It didn't look like that from YouTube. It said legless short rope climb. Yeah, yeah, it didn't. It looked just like a legless rope climb on YouTube. It was only like, I think like three pulls per athlete. Like they were all jumped up, done. Oh, maybe it means the rope is

short it's a 12 foot instead of a 15 foot chase already said it was so terrible we got to cruise through this because i want to go over michelle's.com okay so time i said three out of ten man what do you want from three out of ten that's pretty bad i like this three out of ten overall so bad i liked this event. I agree with John. It was too short of a time cap. It should have been like two minutes longer, and that's it. It would have been a really cool workout besides that. You haven't changed it ten fucking times.

Okay, 100 thrusters. What's the next event? Oh, 25 toes to bar, 16-calorie echo bike, max front squats at 205. First off, super cool workout. If I'm the EMOM company and I know that my workout's coming after 100 thrusters, I'm raising fucking hell. I'm saying you're taking my name off of the workout. No, I loved this event by itself.

And to see that some people couldn't make it through the toes to bar, and then there were some people who couldn't make it through the bike. And then there were some people who didn't get through all of the front squats. And then you had the people that got a time like that's so awesome that there are designated sections throughout the field, depending on your ability. Right.

So Travis said their goal isn't to grow CrossFit. It's about bringing the sport over there. Right. But if they want to bring the sport to Dubai, booty ass programming isn't the way to do it and in a venue where no one comes to watch you bro anyways the like the worst thing about this event is that it followed event three yes this event by itself is great yeah terrible um terrible okay next elimination i really like this event too but it follows the last two events 100 100 thrusters 60 front squats at 205 and echo bike guess what you're doing bro bike sprints what the fuck yeah i will say the coverage for this event was very good they zoomed

in on people's bike ergs so you could see what pace they were holding on the cows per hour. So that was nice because we usually don't get to see that. I don't mind the event at all. I thought this should have been the last event. I thought it would make for a really good race. Wait, who's Andy Murray? He's a tennis player.

He was there. He's from Scotland. Nobody cares. Nobody cares if Andy Murray went to watch, dude. Not even the athlete's parents are going to watch them. That's how bad this is. All right. Okay.

God. Yes. A cool event. A little akin to the Rogue Elimination Workout with the sandbag carry to finish. But, you know, so is the creativity really there? That would be my big shtick is that it's just too close to their elimination style, and it seems like they're pulling from them. But beyond that, following 100 thrusters and 60 front squats, dookie dookie.

Now we're at the OG chipper. This, also kind of a shit show. It wasn't an 800-meter run. They changed it to 50-cal ski. And more squatting. More squatting. More squatting more squatting more squatting what why do they change it to ski do you know um that there was a technical difficulty with lane eight running the runner on lane eight there was a technical difficulty fanduel casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one

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I don't know. I with you but it's dubai and they always do some funky chipper event where they have to put their movements into it they've done this every single year it doesn't necessarily bother me but i don't care for the movements but yeah it's dubai you's going to be there. It's a forced jump squat, according to Barbell's spin. I've done them before in like burn style of workouts. They're hard, but I don't think it's something that I want to see at one of the premier competitions in the world. Oh, why is Tyler gone?

What happened? I lost internet. It literally never happens. I didn't even notice you were gone. How long were you sitting in the waiting room? Piece of shit. Okay, so single arm devil's press, was it really with the 70s? I mean, it says 70s here.

To me, that is fucking aggressive. 30 with the – 60 with the 70 basically seems like the workout, especially when you're 10 bar muscle-ups in the middle. Like, what do those even mean? Roman was doing clean and jerks. Oh, really? Yeah, I was surprised we didn't see that from more people, but the devil's press took the

longest time out of all of the movements. But yeah, he was clean and jerking the second set the whole entire time. I don't really like that. And I don't like that it's only 10 bar muscle ups. It makes them so irrelevant. Everybody did them unbroken. It was irrelevant.

The best name suggestion for our new brand launch came from James Hobart. He commented on our page and he said, you should call it Hobart Fitness. Fucking asshole. Oh my god. How funny is that? And Will responded, that'll sell. I lost it at that. That was funny. Hobart Fitness.

Okay. I don't like this event. I hate A jumps and I hate the deck squats. Two of the dumbest movements you could program in a workout. Is it just the movement that you don't like? It's not necessarily the chipper as a whole. It's just you don't like those two movements. I like the chipper as a whole if it's more bar

muscle ups. If it's 50 pounds single arm devil's press and instead of A jumps, it's a different kind of squat. Maybe, dude, I don't understand why. I mean, it would probably be pretty hard, but I think a heavy medicine ball clean would be super cool. Um,

in competition, the deck squats, I don't like in any freaking way. Uh, just nothing about them. Make it like, what about 40 sandbag cleans with a hundred instead of the age jumps? Oh uh but a hundred pounds how about 40 ball slams with a 50 or a 60 and a 40 ball slams bro i mean to me are i he was fast without answer he had a

response i love him dude i fucking do them all the time those are hard as shit i a medicine ball ground overhead i like that. You would just have to change the single arm. Why does it feel like it is not like a competitive movement, though? Like, to me, it's just never. I'm with you, Tyler. I'm with you, Tyler. Because if you think it's a ball slam and you're actually trying to slam the ball, it's not a competitive movement. If you're just treating it as like a ball ground to overhead, then it's.

They're nasty, dude. Fuck you. I'm going'm gonna be 100 next week the incentive for me as an athlete is to not try on the slam right there's right no it's just ground to overhead he's saying it's just ground to overhead all it is so sorry i'll call it a med ball ground overhead almost like more of a cardio movement than a right right right like a skier it would go perfectly with a skier it's pulling the weight in the opposite direction. Okay, this is event seven. 21.59, power cleans at 185, right?

176. 176. That's a weird weight. 185 is 85. It's kilos. 186, 176. And then it was a 30-meter farmer's carry after each or a 90-meter farmer5 is 85. It's kilos. 186, 176. And then it was a 30 meter farmer's carry after each or 90 meter farmer's carry after each. 90 meters.

Copy. Thoughts? And this is another one that the time cap was really, really, really off. I think one person finished in the entire girls and guys. One person was done. Wow. Yeah. 90 meters and. One person was done. Wow. Yeah. Fucking five minute cap.

Yeah. The, the, the farmer carry just took way, way too long. Um, I think like a 30 meter farmer carry would have been more appropriate, but right.

That's what I thought. I'm reading five minute cap and I'm like 2130, 1530, nine 30, but no. Wow. Zero people finished. Are you sure?

I'm pretty sure the first place got because Roman was almost done. I thought Lazar did finish or Ricky. I think Ricky finished. Or maybe he was maybe it was 30 meters from finishing. Yeah, maybe that's I think if that's the case, like it's pretty evident that no one tested this workout. All right, Brian, I believe you. No one tested this workout. If no one finished under the cap, no one tested it.

I'm interested to see how you feel about this, Taylor. It felt like people programming for games-level athletes that have no idea what games level athletes are capable of. And then, and so there you go. Like, I bet they could do this in this time.

And then that's how they programmed it. That's what I mean to me, which is, it's a big miss. So, but they clearly don't give a fuck. They're going to give you cash for showing up anyways. See you in 2024 Dubai.

Final event. You can't find it anywhere unless you text Brian Spin at www.thebarbellspin.com. You can text him from that link. Send him nudes. Send him dick pics, whatever you want. You have it? Yeah, I have it. Okay, okay.

It is. I don't have it. um hold on i'm gonna have to airdrop so they do a handstand slalom and they do four free hand standing push-ups and that part has to be unbroken that the freestanding in the slalom yeah and they're together too and if it's not unbroken you gotta start all the way back at the slalom um and then it is some shoulder to overhead i don't remember how many and then uh i believe tyler ring muscle ups i can't remember what the other movements was 15 ring muscle ups and then shoulder to overhead and then uh back on the handstand slalom yeah a. A lot of people, a lot of really good people got stuck on the,

there was, that was after the shoulder to overhead. I think they're all, it was all, it was, it was crazy. Literally everything was kind of irrelevant except for the handstand walk. Yeah.

I'm trying to pull this up. Give me one second. Just going to move the location to. I couldn't believe it. Like the thing that stood out to me was this. Four total. Alyssa Fuliano got screwed on that. And she's like one of the best handstand walkers in the game.

It was. Yeah, there you go. Handstand walk course. And so it was 10 shoulder overhead each arm? Yes. Okay, 10 and 10, 15 overhead squats, 10 ring muscle-ups. Again, with the 10 ring muscle-ups in the center of a chipper. That's too redundant to me.

Like, you're putting muscle-ups in the same spot that you put them in the last workout you had muscle-ups in. I don't know. The ring and bar, they're different, dude. No, but it's not. But dude no it's but it's not but it's not but it's not and like like like this one it's so execution based yeah it's literally just can you do this handstand walk course yeah um it's junk in the middle and and like right i i do not think you can make that and they. So the thing about this that made this event bad is that they cut to 10 people for this event. And so it's the most valuable event then because every single spot is 10 points. And it wasn't like that for any of the other events.

And it's an execution-based event that you're making so valuable. I just don't think it belongs where it is. Like if it was like event three, fine, but it being the last event, making it the most valuable event. Um, Andrea Solberg got second place in the competition and probably was like the

fourth best at the competition. Um, and it's because of the way that event was valued. Uh, I think an interesting i heard rumblings that brandon luckett did all the testing for dubai did you hear that it's some testing some testing okay i was gonna say if he did all the testing i want to hear about that power brandon lucky workout is fitter than matt fraser than if that's why they're getting their time caps from. I just, yeah, that's,

he's a super fit dude. Um, and writes a lot of nasty workouts. I'm just very like, uh, curious to where a lot of that stuff came from. I mean, it's the,

one of the premier competitions in the world. And this looks like maybe the worst programming they've ever had in years past. I don't know, maybe Bill and chase, or maybe chase will chime they've ever had in years past. I don't know. Maybe Bill and Chase or maybe Chase will chime in in the comments. Chase, what do you think? It's the worst one that I remember from Dubai. Worst programming ever at Dubai?

Yes? No? I'm going to rate it 1 to 10. I'm also going to rate it a 3. Some elements that could have been super cool. Didn't say that, Travis. Don't put words in my mouth. I said he's barely fitter than me at this current moment. That's what I said. Travis.

Let's send Luckett a link. Just kidding. I would never do that. I don't like that guy. Just kidding. I don't know. All right. Let's go through.

We're not going to cover all of Michelle's main site. We're going to cover – Hold on. Tyler, what do you give it? Oh, yeah. Nobody gives a shit about me on this show. I'm giving it a fucking 10 out of 10. That's what I'm giving it.

Oh, Chase said possibly the worst Dubai programming ever, possibly. Wow. I'm going to go ahead and say it is. You got in three or four workouts and it was like you have not given any of them above a five. It's not good. A one to ten, truthfully. Probably like a two. Oh, well, you heard it here.

So 2.7 from the shut up and scribble panel. The B2.7. 2.7 from the shut up and scribble panel. The B2. 7. Well, well, if you're listening,

we got to get a graphic made, please. I beg of you. This would be so cool. A graphic made that just said, S U a S panel on Dubai, 2.7 out of 10. Holy shit. I mean,

I don't know. Like you said, John, there was a ton of potential for good things to happen. And it was just like errors were made. Time caps were too short. Orders were wrong. Junk volume where there shouldn't have been. Just all kinds of things. So it's like, man, there was a lot there that just.

On a week where things are not going well for me and my personal life, it feels good to pick on others. So 2.7 it is. And let's move to main site. Special guest programmer, Michelle Latondra. And I'm going to give three big gripes. Gripe one. Are we going to bring on for this? Yeah, we should.

We should send you out the link he wouldn't join uh gripe number one special guest programmer uh-oh i don't want to click on that link i don't know where it'll take me this is highlight read that read that meet guest programmer michelle latondra then read this jan kozak our newest addition to the team. Your newest coach gave us this one. So now you're going to give it to the rest of the world? Well, I'm sure that they didn't just hire him off the street.

Hey, buddy, you look fit. Come on in here. Program a workout. I'll be a homeless guy who found CrossFit three weeks ago. This guy has less experience than Jada Coons, dude. And now he's programming for all of.com? Get of town fool i don't like it i don't love it i agree i agree with taylor i don't dislike the workout but i don't love the workout i disagree with you totally um why i i want to understand why you think this matters because she's the special guest programmer

yeah i'm fucking kosher but she's showing all the workouts no you don't designate you're if they want your programming main site asks you to program right not designate to your team not that i know you gone i'm sure you're an amazing guy this is a good workout i would have made it one to one rest i wouldn't have rested a whole minute like if it took me 41 seconds i would have rested 41 seconds and i would have made it for time i think that's the only thing i would have changed good workout otherwise but like john said it's michelle latondra is the guest programmer not her whole deca camp we don't give a shit about the rest of deca okay all right next we'll be like hold on hold on hold on no quite wait before on, I'm going to push back on this. So, yes, semantically, like putting it out,

they should have not put Michelle LaTondra, or they could have put Michelle LaTondra and then Jan Clark. You don't even know his name? Yeah. He muted himself. Tyler, you're muted. You're muted. You're muted. You're muted. You're still muted.

All right. Next topic. Okay. So the thing for me is at some of the gyms I've been to and worked at in the past, all the coaches help program every few weeks and so it's like if you have an entire coaching staff that's this sort of leans into the fact that it's like hey not one person's involved in creating this whole show for you guys as athletes at our gym and this is just a way to do that now they haven't advertised that that's a way they could spin it but to me i don't have a problem with this michelle gets final stamp on it right i'm sure she's not just sending it to fucking HQ. I just don't. John's from Comp Train?

That's not helping his case. I just don't get the argument that this matters. Okay. Okay, Tyler. Well, fuck your argument. It matters. It matters. It's just the optics.

It's the optics. Dot com ask JR. Dot com ask JR to program for them for two weeks. And then his very first workout was, this is a program that Tyler Watkins wrote. And I just like it. Like, that is what's happening. I would smack JR in the butt with my hair. I mean, like, maybe the first one probably should have been her.

And then they could have introduced somebody on Tuesday. But, yeah, that was probably a bad look. But on the whole, it doesn't bother me. But Monday was probably a bad look. Let's go to the next workout. 20-minute AMRAP, 20 crossover single-unders, 10 burpee pull-ups, 12 GHG sit-ups. As a triplet of three distinct movements great the rep scheme and this is

we'll get into this it matters 20 10 12 seriously could it not have been 20 crossovers 15 ghc's 10 burpee pull-ups or 21 crossovers 15 ghc sit-ups and nine burpee pull-ups for christ's sake 21 15 9 you couldn't have done that at least golly gosh okay the numbers bother you they matter the next workout that this is this is crazy this okay look great workout for me great workout for pat he he needs to work on overhead pressing whatever okay you got an athlete needs to work on their strict deficit i think i would murder this workout oh that's awesome but dude to dot com the redundancy of going from that to that i just don't like i don't like uh i don't like it personally um yeah go spend more time on that i like i don't like complication for the sake of complication.

Um, and to me, that's what this looks like. Crossfit.com. Aim is not to send one, someone to the CrossFit games, right? Crossfit.com.

It's to forge elite fitness. It's to take you from the spectrum of sickness to health, to wellness, to fitness. So you think just the strict deficit handstand pushup is too hard of a movement to put in doctor? No, I don't think it's too hard of a movement. I think this is complicated for the sake of being complicated.

I think if the workout was five rounds for time, eight strict deficit handstand pushups and 16 dumbbell box stepovers, awesome. So the strict deficit kipping is what you think is too complicated? Right. I think if the workout is just 12 kipping deficit handstand pushups and 16 demo box stepovers sick, but why be complicated for the sake of being complicated? I see what you're saying. What if it were, what if it were Tyler?

All right. All right. All right. Okay. We read an article to start the show called www.crossfit.com. In that article, we came to the re-understanding that CrossFit started as a website and a workout, and it mattered how the workout was fucking written because if you were going to get anyone else in the world to do it, it had to look good. It had to be elegant. It had to

spark your appetite into making you hungry to try the workout. 2010-12 doesn't spark my fucking appetite. Neither does 4-8-16 going from strict to kipping. I'm like, eh, I'm not doing that workout. Eh, I'm not doing that workout. Let's keep moving forward. No, no, no, no, no. Let me interject this. What if it were four strict press at 135 into eight jerks.

What's the point of that? Or push press at 135. Because you can keep going. Because you can keep going, dude. But it's complicated for the sake of being complicated. Just make it 16 push press and make it a little bit heavier, and you get the same difficulty. Okay, that's fine.

I just wanted to put that – because that makes sense to me to keep going faster. But if you want to say just make it 16, now that's an argument I can go with. I agree with Tyler on this. I just – I don't think it's that complicated. What are you – but think of this. Who is.com marketing to? You two who have a lot of competitive training experience. No, general public.

Right. It's someone who's reading that and they're like, what the fuck is this? I get what you're saying. I just don't know if i agree with it well that will bring up a good point you bring up a good point with that is what's the point of having guest programmers it's probably to rejuvenate our fervor for hq programming dot com programming right and so if you turn off a bunch of people with the rep schemes and all that like you definitely need to get your home crew first, and then you can worry about getting norm, normal people. They need to send out another mama deer survey and ask people how many of you want to do these workouts. And I can guarantee you the number that comes back is going

to be astonishing. It's going to be a big circular number number there's going to be nothing in the center of it other than maybe keith knapp but that's besides i would actually like like them to do that after every guest programmer be smart you send out you send that out and then uh just see the response you get an idea of what flavor people are looking for and you could rank them you could rank programs that would be cool too um oh that would be sick a dot-com ranking yeah of what people enjoyed um so anyways i just don't like it it's complicated for the sake of being complicated and you're introducing an element of competitive fitness that is unnecessary to dot-com just i'll i'll agree with that point. It's unnecessary. So you're just missing the minimum effective dose. It's not like program for the best and scale for the rest.

But then just make it eight strict deficit, and I'm fine with that. Make it eight strict deficit. Or say this. This is a cooler way to write the dot-com workout, and one that I'm sure they've written in the past, and they write several workouts like this. 16 handstand pushups. Start with strict and go to kipping before you break your set. Yeah, I like that.

It makes people like, ooh, that's cool. If you can do strict the whole time. Yeah, or you could do one and 15. Yeah. So I just – I think like that's how Greg would have written it. Eight handstand pushups. Start with your biggest set of strict think like, that's how Greg would have written it. Eight, eight handstand pushups. Start with your biggest set of John.

Cossack's not great. Well, let me ask you this. Do you hate the stimulus of it? Or do you think like, like looking past the, he just hates that it goes into the kipping. I hate the stimulus.

The stimulus. There are lots of workouts that can give you a great stimulus. A lot of them will never be done because of how stupid they look on paper. Okay, now you can move on. I think most of the best stimuluses are the most simplest workouts. Exactly. Simplicity, elegance, beautification. Okay, this workout, goblet squats, echo bike.

You don't have feelings about the swim? I don't even want to talk about it. It's rest day or swim. I don't care. Okay. Special guest programmer. We can assume this one's written by Michelle. Six minutes for three sets, 2159 reps, echo by calories, kettlebell, goblet squats.

Again, I think you could write it in a way that's a little easier to read. Good workout for sure. Um, I just don't like the way it's written. I like this one. I don't like how it's written. The format matters. The format. You mean like the visual aspect of it on the paper?

Specifically the actual format of how it says every six minutes for three sets complete colon 2159 reps. You want it to be entered right there? So right here, right before the 21, it should be entered and it should be on the next line. It shouldn't say every six minutes for three sets complete. Your problem is not Michelle. It's autism. It's the person that's writing the workouts it's autism it's the person that's writing the workouts well she's the one that's writing no no no she's not typing them up on

their little thing it's whoever's uh hq has it's right in the workouts that's probably she probably is writing them but it should be right it matters dude the way people read it has a distinct effect on whether or not they want to do it. It's just like – I don't disagree. I don't. If you meet a girl and she burps in your face and that's the first thing she says to you, you're like, dude, this is gross. You're the only one that writes on your whiteboard in your gym the workout of the day.

Andy writes on it and it makes me cringe. We got another coach whose handwriting looks like somebody splattered shit on a wall. It's bad. I appreciate your attention to detail on this. It drives me nuts when we go through our programming, but I do appreciate it. It's my argue with Keith Knapp that programming is like fine dining. You could put a bunch of fucking hamburger helper and Doritos in a bowl, and it's going to taste good.

But it looks like it came out of my ass. That's what it looks like. No, I like your workout to food analogy. I thought it was pretty. Thank you. This is good, good, good. This, another one. You don't want to talk about the good ones?

I think we should give credit where credit's due. Right. The one mile run, 500 ski, one mile run. I like run, ski, mile run i like run ski run as opposed to run swim run i think that's a really cool twist on it and i think the time domain is is super cool if you're pushing this hard we'll go six to six and that's a 14 minute workout and that is a hurtful painful 14 minutes so i love that um uh. I don't have much to comment about this. I...

Forcing... It's supposed to be a heavy day, and now it's complexes, and it's complexity. Now, you see, this type of... This bothers me as far as you making it complicated for the sake of

making it complicated, but it's just weightlifting. So like, you know, you don't go into a soliloquy about this, but I, I think I hate this. Like just build to a heavy of this complex,

right? Built to a heavy, built to a heavy power snatch plus two hang squat snatch. But I think even that is complicated for the sake of being complicated, built to a heavy snatch plus two hang squat snatch. But I think even that is complicated for the sake of being complicated. Build to a heavy snatch plus two hang snatch. Whatever variation allows you to go heaviest. Yeah. And I think people overcomplicate weightlifting so much.

It's super simple, guys. I don't know why everybody's not super strong. It's not hard. Because you're super strong. It's not hard. Because you're super strong. It's really simple. You're overcomplicating it. All right. You got to lift a lot of weight, eat a lot of food.

And if you're starting out weak, it's going to take you some time. If you eat waffles, Tyler, you'll get stronger. Or McDonald's. John Young eats fucking McDonald's all the time, bro. And this guy's ripped. What's going on here? Okay. This huge problem here, 12, 10, 9, 10, 6, 10, 3, 10.

I think this is the worst one of the- Yeah, it's the ugliest written workout ever. It looks terrible. And again- What if she wrote it- Main issue. It would be even worse if Michelle LaTondra wrote it. I don't know that it's worse. I don't know what's worse. The worse if michelle etendre wrote it i don't know that

it's worse i don't know what's worse the fact that one of her coaches wrote it and she signed off on it or that she just i i don't know what if she wrote it like this 12 9 6 wall balls followed by 10 wall or uh wall walks followed by 10 wall ball shots every round just like visually no no it's not no no this is the format this is the workout it's the fact that it's 30 wall walks and 40 wall balls if it was if it was 20 wall balls every round that might be different or just fucking 12 24 9 18 6 12 3 6 yeah no i, either or. Like, I've just – like, the wall balls are just irrelevant. Right. Or make it four rounds for time. Five wall walks, ten wall balls.

I think 20 – I think half. It would have been a shorter workout for sure. But I think that's a cool sprint. Five wall walks, ten super tall wall balls. Cool. It's just the way it's going. And you could do that in intervals. You could do like four intervals of this two-minute rest every each interval

or one-minute rest every each interval. I think that would be cool. You sprint your wall walks and wall balls. That would be a great stimulus. Yeah, I might actually do that. I just think mainly it's she's outsourcing her programming when CrossFit is already outsourcing it to her. It's like, okay, now it's triple outsourced.

Next, it's going to China. Next, it's going to a sweatshop.com programmed by a 13-year-old working for Apple. It's going to go to Tyler, and that's going to be ridiculous. I can freaking program. I don't know what you're talking about. Who are they going to outsource to next craziness and then you'll outsource to taylor and it'll come around full circle and that's how taylor programs for main site you should taylor you should uh you should

find out who the next guest programmer is and just email the hell out of them and be like, let me program for this. Let me do this. Let me do it. All right, where are we at? I'm back. Uh-oh. Can you hear me? Yep. Yep. My computer is playing music. All right, I stopped it.

That's been a good show. It's been 59 minutes and 25 seconds of talking about getting canceled cancel culture did you oh yeah you got canceled yeah i talked about it uh do you have to turn your instagram name too now everything dude i just can't get over the fact that it's your name this thing on my fucking whiteboard. You can't even have that. If he comes over to my house, he'll fucking sue me to oblivion, dude. I got to change that even.

I got fucking hats and shit. I got t-shirts I sent to my mom for fucking Christmas. Goodness gracious. Dude, I jack up the prices on those. Do you have a favorite so far of the people who have commented? There are a couple that I'm not willing to say yet that I'll say

after we end the stream that I'm leaning towards that I like. Did Travis Brown say one of those? No. Hobart programming, baby. Yeah, Hobart Fitness. Listen, Taylor. I think that's super catchy right there looking right at you i don't know why kidding oh my gosh um no it's a cool opportunity really like it sucks

yeah but it is a cool opportunity. For everybody watching, we are going to do a very limited nonprofit run of the Strike the Match t-shirt for everyone that wants one. Because after we change our name, we will not be able to sell them ever again. We are not going to make any money on it. It's going to be the cost of the shirt, the cost of printing, and whatever it costs for SherpaWorks or Ken, whatever, to do the shirt. It's going to be a private link. So if you want a shirt, you're going to have to reach out personally. Again, they're not – Or subscribe to Self Made Training Program.

Or subscribe to Self Made Training Program. Even just do the free trial because we're going to drop the link in the chat there. It's going to be basically a members only. You guys get one. Yeah, we to drop the link in the chat there it's going to be basically a members only you guys get one um yeah we'll drop the link asap probably going to have that open for like seven days and then there's never ever going to be any more self-made shit ever but the new name we come up with is going to be fucking sick so with that that was good love you guys that was dope bye