The Sevan Podcast - You Knew It Was Coming | Live Call In

Episode Date: June 16, 2024

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Became a YouTube member. I was just talking about God with Will and Hiller this morning. I'm nervous that there's going to be... oh my is this shit even working hello testing hello testing one two is this on can you guys hear me is this on testing hello testing is this on good morning god is good new Thank you. That shirt. Yes, it's very nice. It's a collector's item. A slightly above average morning to all non CEOs. Yes, sure. No victim hood today, please. It's funny. I almost wear my victim victim mentality shirt. I actually had it on and then I took it off I saw this one I'm like I haven't worn white

in a long time I was actually talking with Will and Hiller this morning I was concerned that imagine if the good lord were to touch Hiller's heart and he were to pivot to just all making Bible shit. Sorry, Bible stuff, Bible stories.

Andrew Hiller touched in his entire YouTube channel pivots to God stories. So long. Where's the hood every day? Word, word, facts. I sure do. facts I sure do I sure do my son uh last night uh I went my son I took my shirt off and wiped my dick with it and my son goes that's disgusting like what are you talking about he's like what if someone smells that I'm like dude I threw it in the dirty clothes hamper what are you talking about it's gonna get washed I'm like what should I have done it with he's like a washcloth I was like, what should I have done it with? He's like a washcloth. I was like, oh, all right. Good point. The seven-year-old has a good point. You guys want to go just fucking hard this morning or like the old days?

I don't think I have it in me anymore, to be honest. I mean, I have it in me. I just don't think I'm that passionate anymore. I took my shirt off to wipe my dick uh yes i mean i didn't take it off to wipe my dick i took my shirt i was like putting on clean clothes and i took my shirt i had my pants off and i was standing in front of my my dressers and then i took my shirt off and wipe my dick and he's like oh gross let's go hard sean m sean you look like you work out in a gym that uh you need a tet you like you just appear like the kind of guy who works out in a gym where you need a tetanus shot there are gyms like that you know that you walk in there owner thinks it's the nicest gym in the world and you're like oh man you need a tetanus shot to work out in here dark cavernous gyms uh jake chapman i have it in me i just don't enjoy it seven on june

i have it in me i just don't enjoy it thank you give me quotes to say uh let's start here you want you want to just come out. Oh, where's my cards? Did I ever show you my new cards? Did I bring those in here? Oh, yeah. I got my new mint trading cards. Jamie Hagaya.

And Jeffrey Adler. I have so many cards. Do you want to see them all? And then I'm going to go. So I'm going to dance on a delicate subjects. Colton Mertens. This one lives on the desk. Colton Mertens.

I don't think you can get this one anymore. I should take, I should take my cards to the games this year and get them signed. In the CrossFit media space, there's so much politics. I mean, the politics are crazy. Like, crazy, crazy. Like, in my life, it's where all the politics are. And I think in a lot of people's lives uh patty v mint trading cards

i got that one jason hopper look at and they got so nice and they come with i think they come with little glass cases. Danielle Brandon. This one I should move to my bedside. Oh, I just had a dream last night. Wow. I just remembered my dream last night. That's crazy. There was this older lady that was hitting on me in my dream.

That's nuts. I just remembered my dream. Older, older, older lady that was hitting on me in my dream. That's nuts. I just remembered my dream. Older, older, older lady. Like my age old. Ariel Lowen. Look at that. Mint trading cards. Austin Hartman.

Sevan, how does the family feel about you starting shows so early? Your soundproofing worked pretty well. Dude, I got a fucking fat podcast studio. Like, I got... I have the most unbelievable room ever. I wonder if I should ever give any one of you guys a tour of it. It's nuts. It's nuts. I just haven't organized it well.

I haven't set it up well. I need someone, like, with... I want to have two studios in here. It's big enough to have two studios. I want to have like a, like this kind of studio and then like a round table studio. Uh, uh,

Alexis Raptus, the most eligible woman in CrossFit. Like this is the one you want to like marry. If you're rich, like court her, uh, another Ariel low. And I think this one's signed,

signed. I got this. This is one sign. got this This one's signed Yeah this one's signed One night at the games Dylan wanted to Have dinner with me And he brought this over

As like a Hey can I have dinner with you And gave me A picture of his wife Signed I'm big time A Dallin Pepper Future of the sport

These are all mint training cards. You can own these. You guys owe me like 20 grand in sponsorship fees, by the way, at least. Ben, Wadzombie pays his sponsorship $1 at a time, which is kind of cool. Ben Smith, the legend. Should have Ben on again. How about Hattie Canyon looking like Laura Horvat? Sisters.

I uncovered it. Hattie's adopted. Now you know. Probably from Laura's family. What if Hattie is Laura's daughter? Alex Gazan. I'm going to give Alex Gazan the nickname The Crush. What a great girl to have a crush on.

She's something special, man. I'm telling you. If you get a chance to see Alex Kazan in person, you should do it. It's worth going to the games or any event she's at just to see her in person. Christine Kohlenbrander. She's worth seeing to the games or any event she's at just to see her in person. Christine Kohlenbrander. She's worth seeing in person, too. Every time she's around, some guy will be like, dude, she's hot. Like, as she walks away or we walk away.

Whatever guy I'm with will be like, dude, she's hot. Christine Kohlenbrander. Christine the hot Kohlenbrander. James Sprague. The serious one. Look at that yeah she's a specimen i don't know who you're talking about but yes for sure james sprague he's off the market but damn he got a good one too man his girl

i know i know it's a cliche line to say um i know it's a cliche. Line to say. Get yourself. You know what's the line. Get yourself a girlfriend that looks at. That. Get yourself a girl. That. What the fuck is that line.

Get yourself a girl. You want a girl that looks at i don't know even how you say it but people have made a joke the way savon looks at dave castro that's the kind of girl you want right because i'm all googly-eyed adam well you want you truly want in all seriousness a girl that looks at you the way uh i think her name is danica looks at james prigg it's crazy she's like she's like uh she's probably doing something that's like against the when she looks at him it looks like it's like the bible wouldn't approve the way she looks at him she looks like i'm like i'm like uh she looks at him like she's gonna eat him keep his uh keep his stomach full and his nuts empty yeah well that's

that's truly the way you keep a man uh emily rolf great great uh great husband oh and two alexis raptuses i have two alex Okay. And then the new ones are Jamie and Adler. Jeez Louise, I got too many cards. Not even into cards and I like my cards. Back there with the chocolate dick. And of course Colton stays on the desk Colton doesn't go anywhere Colton's Colton and Tyson Bajan stay on the desk

Danielle you too could have been on the desk smart move smart move SMS see your see your behind the scenes exclusively now for members only, CEO members specifically. Okay, let me see if I can open these phone lines too. Okay, all sorts of fun topics to talk about. My mouth isn't working.

Stretch that jaw um the uh by the way the the guys that run these cards are really cool fucking dudes you're you're also supporting really cool dudes i mean who gives a shit right but that barclay dude's cool as shit and so is Wad Zombie so those are the guys and I'm sure I'm sure it's a lot of work and they're not like making money on it so my mouth is working this morning I stretched my jaw and throw it out oh good

let me know if you ever need help with that sigh okay with that okay first let me before we talk about some CrossFit news I want to read to you a bunch of stuff a US submarine has arrived in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, in show of force as a fleet of Russian warships gather for planned military exercises in the Caribbean. The U.S. Southern Command said the USS Helena, a nuclear-powered fast-attack submarine, pulled into the waters near the U.S. base in Cuba on Thursday, just a day after the Russian frigate, a nuclear-powered submarine, and an oil tanker, and a rescue tug. Isn't that interesting? The Russians roll with a submarine, a Russian frigate, and an oil tanker, and a rescue tug.

Cross into Havana Bay after drills in the Atlantic Ocean. The stop is part of a routine port visit as the submarine travels through Southern Command's region, it said in its social media post. So the U.S. is just there on a routine port visit, but the Russians are there for why. Other U.S. ships have been tracking and monitoring the Russian drills, which Pentagon officials say do not represent a threat to the United States. Wait a second. So there is a Russian sub over in Cuba and a frigate. Other U.S. ships have also been tracking and monitoring the Russian drills.

Oh, cool. That's nice to know. Which Pentagon officials say do not represent a threat to the United States. I mean, that is just crazy to say that because that's just not true. Any boats, our own boats represent a threat. Our own boats represent a threat our own boats represent a threat anything can happen what I mean what what that's nuts even me a little man in your presence I represent a threat everything everything represents a threat on some scale it's like it can't represent no threat there's a war in Ukraine NATO has recently opened up alleyways through the ukraine and through europe that would allow nato troops to move quickly to the front lines of the

ukraine russian war the united states is giving weapons to ukraine to use in the war china is doing drills around taiwan which the U.S. vows to protect. The United States is going through all sorts of weird shit. A small portion of the citizens that have taken over the media here are confused with the difference between a man and a woman. Crazy. Crazy times. crazy crazy times the u.s borders wide open what are they what are they talking about uh uh the stop is part of routine port visit of submarine travels through southern commands region it said in social media posts uh the exercise however comes less than two weeks after president joe biden authorized ukraine to useS.-provided weapons to strike inside of Russia to protect Kharkiv, Ukraine's second-largest city. Russian President Vladimir Putin then suggested his military could respond with asymmetrical steps elsewhere in the world.

What does that mean? Give Mexico weapons to attack the United States, like more fentanyl crossing the border? the United States, like more fentanyl crossing the border. Singh said it wouldn't be surprised to see more Russian activity around the United States in such global exercises. The drills are in international waters, and U.S. officials expect the Russian ships to remain in the region throughout the summer and possibly also stop in Venezuela. Russia's longtime ally Venezuela and Cuba and its warships and aircraft have periodically made forays into the Caribbean. Russian ships have occasionally docked in Havana since 2008 when a group of Russian vessels entered Cuban waters in what state media described as the

first such visit in almost two decades. In 2015, a reconnaissance communications ship arrived unannounced in Havana a day before a start of discussion between U.S. and Cuban officials on the reopening of diplomatic relations. It's weird. They're saying that this has happened before, and then the last two times they mention are once in 2008 and once in 2015. That's a – it's not like it's a regular thing. That's from the AP. You guys want to see the boat? This is the Russian frigate look at that thing the arrival of powerful missile capable naval assets in Cuban waters should not

set off alarm bells Russia said to the US So Russia's saying it's no big deal either. A Navy frigate in a nuclear-powered submarine pulled into Cuba's coast near Havana on Wednesday ahead of air and military exercises in the Caribbean, along with two other vessels. These Russian Navy assets were scheduled to be stationed in Cuba for a five-day visit. So here they're saying two other vessels. That other one was saying three other vessels.

This is a normal practice for all states, including such large maritime power as Russia. Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov told reporters per Reuters. that they are some of the Kremlin's most lethal assets. For one, the Kazan submarine currently near Havana is one of the new Severodonets class vessels. The submarines in this class are hard to detect and have dangerous combination of stealth and striking power and as such have vexed the U.S. and NATO for years. Also in Cuba is the Admiral Gorshkov russian frigate which is armed to the teeth with putin's prize zircon scramjet powered hypersonic cruise missiles the weapons which the kremlin claims are unbeatable are relatively new to moscow's arsenal in cuban uh the cuban foreign

ministry for its part echoed russia's sentiments saying that the vessels pose no threat per reuters in a press conference on tuesday pentagon press secretary sabrina singh said the department of defense is monitoring the situation but does not anticipate any threats from the warships again i think what's important here is that what russia is doing in these exercises they don't pose a threat to the united states but of course we're continuing to monitor hey that is that's the one thing they do do, by the way, the opposite of what the article says. The arrival of the ships is largely seen as a flex by Russia to compensate for its major losses in the Black Sea. In April, Ukraine said that it used drones, missiles, and other weapons in its arsenal to destroy many Russian warships.

I didn't know that. While the U.S. officials may be to say say there's no immediate threat the los angeles class uss helena attack submarine u.s attack submarine sailed up to guantanamo bay about 500 miles away from russian vessels on thursday shortly after russia's kazan sub showed up these names are great aren't they the u.s southern command said in a statement on twitter on thursday that the sub was there as part of a routine port visit. Representatives for the U.S. Southern Command and Russia Defense Ministry didn't immediately respond to a

request from Business Insider sent outside regular business hours. Yeah, give a fuck when you send them. And finally And I chose these three because they all had a little bit of new Different information Russian flotilla off Florida coast sparks deployment of US Navy destroyers And planes

The Pentagon deployed three Navy destroyers and a maritime patrol aircraft this week to keep tabs on a group of Russian ships that conduct missile exercises and reportedly got within 30 miles of Florida's coast. In accordance with standard procedures, we've been actively monitoring the Russian ships as they transit the Atlantic Ocean. By the way, the California coast, you can just pull a boat there and unload illegals. And I'm sure you can do the same in Florida. So there's nothing guarding our borders. Or nothing effective. Russian ships as they transit the Atlantic Ocean with international waters,

a defense official says, who spoke on condition his name not be used, told Military.com in an email statement Wednesday. The officials added that the air and maritime assets under U.S. Northern Command have conducted operations who spoke on condition his name not be used, told Military.com in an email statement Wednesday. The officials added that the air and maritime assets under U.S. Northern Command have conducted operations to ensure the defense of the United States and Canada, but wouldn't elaborate on what those assets were. Pentagon spokeswoman Sabrina Singh also wasn't able to offer specifics at a brief to reporters on Wednesday. On Tuesday, the Russian Ministry of Defense said in an online post that the ships conducted exercises with the use of high-precision missile weapons in the Atlantic Ocean and included

video shot above the vessel. As part of the exercise, the crews of the frigate and nuclear-powered submarine practiced the use of high-precision missile weapons using computer-simulated naval targets that represent naval groups of a mock enemy and are located at a distance of over 600 kilometers, the statement said, noting no missiles were launched. The Pentagon would not say what U.S. assets were deployed in response to the Russian presence. Online amateur analysts used public flight and ship tracking data to identify the three destroyers, the USS Truxton, USS Donald Cook, and USS Delbert D. Black.

They also identified U.S. Navy P-8 Poseidon Maritime Patrol and anti-submarine aircraft as part of the response. The defense officials who spoke with Military.com on Wednesday would only go so far as to say the U.S. Navy 2nd Fleet, U.S. 4th Fleet, Coast Guard, Atlantic Area, and Canadian Joint Task Force, Atlantic, were all conducting routine operations throughout the Atlantic and will continue to operate and engage from a position of strength. I don't think letting them get within 30 miles is a position of strength. Noted that the destroyer was sailing with the Canadian frigate HMCS Via de Quebec. God, the names of Canada's ships are so lame u.s coast guard cutter two ships that uh online analysts also suspected to be responding to russians listen you can't have one of those weird lines over a letter

uh and it'd be a tough warship ditch the line online you can't have the word quebec in anything tough online analysts also estimated that the russian flotilla got within 25 miles of the shore so now it's 25 miles so there's that that USNI news reported in 2014 that a US Navy official in charge of its submarine program was so impressed with the class of Russian submarines

that he had a model of the lead boat the Severodvinsk, the one that's there placed outside his office so that he could look at it daily alright the Russians are here they're here Daily. All right. The Russians are here. They're here. You see Tucker interview El Salvador president.

I didn't see it. I just saw clips of it. I'd like to see it. Still five miles in international waters. It's 20 miles. Wait. um uh oh wait uh oculac dragon snooze fest thank you uh kevin doyle back to unhinged rants extra sloppy uh we blew up their radars and now they're showing us We are also vulnerable We blew up their radars and now they're showing us We are also vulnerable

Hey daddies Hey Seve love your pride shirt Thank you This is This is a shirt for CEOs With giant cocks that other men love this is my ceo plus shirt this is me acknowledging that i know a lot of men want to ride this d i get it who doesn't yeah so i had this dream with this old lady in it yesterday probably over 60

it was weird she was cool she was hot she was trying to be intimate with me I don't have I don't have I don't have normally to have dreams like that I think there's some details in it I can't even share

I mean nothing crazy Normally to have dreams like that. I think there's some details in it I can't even share. I mean, nothing crazy. We were like moving in a tight space and I think I rubbed against her on accident. Like, you know what I mean? Like through a hallway or something. It was weird. No, was it a wet dream? No.

It was not. Nothing. Nothing. It was nothing crazy. But but it was highly. Like, I remember it. Vindicate. No, we will not be selling that shirt. so Pierre Joey where is the CEO for the small penises I need one of those we're working on that Bria Wilson thank you I'm glad to see it look at that look at some of you are complaining about the topics

of the show and look at money talks bullshit walks that guy the guy all he does is post negative shit and and um which makes me when he when he posts uh that this is snooze fest makes me want to do it even more how is it there's someone that just only uh there's only the uh someone who posts negative stuff there's like two or three of you how is it standy randy venezuela and cuba would not benefit from going to war or starting any conflicts and not concerned oh good how about uh russia venezuela iran and russia

and china is there any benefit for all of them to simultaneously start a war? So the politics. The politics in the media space are nuts. And it all pivots. It all pivots on access. And just so you know, everyone knows this, but no one talks about it. So the people at Rogue know it, Mayhem knows it, Heber and Marzen know it, the Lone Ranger people know it, Lauren, Khalil, Tommy, Shawnee. Everyone knows it. I know it. Coffee Pods people know it lauren khalil tommy shawnee like everyone knows it i know it coffee pods and wads knows it like everyone knows it people at proven know it people at hwpo know it like everyone knows that everyone talks about it everyone whispers about it

people at syndicate know about it people at wadapalooza know about it all the employees at crossfit know about it like if you talk to any employees at crossfit and bring up the media and how it works everyone knows it everyone's whispering about it everyone whispers about it but no one no one uh no one talks no one like openly says anything well uh one guy says one one person's openly says stuff one person has like these uh if you think i'm unhinged one person has these totally unhinged a post about it yesterday which is why I bring it up

like everyone knows like I don't want to go off about it because I want to film behind the scenes at the games but every everyone knows about it it's a it's it's such a it's such a uh fucked up situation it's so fucked up the situation and i'm gonna i'm gonna say uh i'm gonna stay abstract about it i guess i don't know you never know with me but uh let me let me play this clip that andrew hiller made and then i'll read some of the comments to you here uh this is

uh um tonto from the lone ranger podcast formerly known as uh tommy marquez been around forever in all fairness he's as good as in anyone out there at like with this crossfit sports information he's he's as good as john or brian or um helping or uh travis what's the guy's name travis uh um what's the guys uh you forgot my name sebonbon? How dare you? How dare you? I'm sorry, Travis. I just can't remember your last name. Are you going to tell me?

No, I'm not going to tell you my last name. Okay. Don't have to be a dick about it. So Tommy is legit when it comes to CrossFit stuff. Like he knows. He knows all the politics and he just knows stuff. And he knows about the sport and he's been around just fucking forever, right? He's either commentated or he's done something around every – probably every – I'm guessing he's done it all.

Dubai, Guadalupalooza, games, all that shit. Oh, uh, Brault. Travis Brault. Travis Brault's his name. Yeah. Thank you, Cave Dastro. Sevan's a world-class douche canoe. Settle down, Travis.

It's my show. What's up, Jeez Louise? Okay, I don't know what this Joe Rogan one is. Let me just play this one. Let me get derailed here for a second. Let me catch up on my own, some personal stuff. Let me watch this one real quick. Here we go.

Kill the lady. Fell down in her driveway, and they just tore her apart. How old is this lady? 59. Depends on what kind of 59 of 59 year old lady you're talking about. You talk about a lady goes to CrossFit. She finished third at the 2023 CrossFit Games. Getting an event win here at the CrossFit Games. Ariel Lohan with her first career event win at the CrossFit Games.

Four top five finishes this year. And she's a mom. CrossFit. Wild pigs. One of them killed a lady. Fell down in her. I don't understand. I don't understand. Why does he say CrossFit in the beginning? Okay, anyway.

I don't understand. It's funny. I don't understand. It's funny. I don't understand. Yeah, she trains in her garage. I was just slightly aroused by Ariel right there, by the way. Okay, here we go. Would CrossFit benefit more from just hiring their own media team again? Yes, but also the top down needs to show the interest and the drive

and the vision for that if okay so let me read the post you for real quick this is from uh dead again uh lauren kalil show and um tommy hiller writes this tommy marquez calls for new leadership in crossfit media i believe the current individuals who call the shots are ohern ohern emily and uh um jonathan haynes at least that's what links and lincoln tells me oh i didn't know that i'll be honest the video of bronislaw bronislaw olinkowitz that was posted three weeks after it happened would have taken me less than 20 minutes to create, 10 minutes to upload in 4K, and that would have gotten two to five times the traction that's being conservative. If it had gone up within eight hours of the world record, he had set on event five, which again was in the first week of semifinals. I agree with Tommy.

So Andrew's saying that Emily O'Hearn and Jonathan Haynes are the head of everything going on at CrossFit Media and that they're doing a poor job because they put up a video recently of Bronislaw setting some sort of record. And if they would have put it up earlier, it would have gotten more traction. have gotten more traction uh so tommy says if the people the people at the tip top and the people controlling the money ultimately decided they wanted to you would have to make sure that the right people are in place to lead that team too because i've said this before crossfit had what 50 50 people this was crazy look at all those people so all the people inside the fence are contracted by crossfit and then the people outside the fence you see heber mars and shit those are like loser media people like myself and hillar and the buttery bros yeah the buttery bros know for sure the buttery bros are like on this topic that i'm

talking about that i'm being abstract about the buttery bros are like full experts into full experts like everyone knows everyone's talking about it like every day if you're in the media space every day you hear whispers of it there was even some crazy reddit thread about it a few months ago i never brought it up on this show because it was like because of politics because i didn't want to weigh in i didn't want to like i don't i don't want to fuck myself people at the games on the media team like what what did they produce there is like this constant like political struggle behind the scenes of people like fighting for their own for their

little fiefdoms that i think gets in the way of the bigger picture so yeah and that's what everyone says what he said right there that there's some weird control for. Imagine some, imagine me spending all my days making sure I had control of my property here at my house. There would be, there's like no point of that. There's no threat.

Like what if every time the Amazon delivery driver came to the house, I pulled out a gun and like looked over the fence at him. That's what it's like. That's what it's like working with CrossFit. Like all the outside media people are trying to do is deliver great shit. And there's something on the inside that's like, it's bizarre. You'd have to make sure that the right the right leaders are in place and it's probably probably involve bringing new leaders on the media side to uh make sure that you know they're

they're going to actually execute on on this vision would and so and and and we'll look at the comments now so basically and now they have jenna hawker who i'm trying uh desperately to have a good relationship with and and and then hopefully all of this goes away i i don't i guess the thing is is they so they control these properties right i mean it's really simple they control these properties like uh the crossfit games and everyone wants to get access to that so they can film it and they can glorify the athletes. And like some people want to glorify themselves like Craig Ritchie. But either way, it doesn't matter. Even him glorifying himself helps. And it's always good to have people who are successful monetarily in the media space around

CrossFit because then that will get more media, right? So if you see when Craig Ritchie's bank statements get released and you see he's got $600,000 in the bank and you know he's doing that from being a media guy in the CrossFit space, that's good for everybody. Sucking dick doesn't mean you're a hero. The thing is, too, is everyone who toes the line and who plays the political game, unilally everyone ends up getting fucked and so it's tempting to play the game if you play the game you do get fucked you do get fucked at the end the long game is just to have integrity

uh taylor schultz someone that's awesome t-shirt clearly you found a balance between being crude but respecting different people need to find a way to get me one of those shirts dude i i don't even know what you're saying are you new here on a side note just i i try not to play the respect or disrespect game i try not to respect or disrespect anybody yes uh does don know that everyone knows his media team leadership sucks don's oh listen everybody knows it like everybody knows what's going on over there it sucks that i'm just not going to spell it out because I'm fucking a political machine. But everybody knows.

Like, everybody knows. Just nobody. Not even Hillers coming out and say it. Everybody knows what's going on over there. And, like, Don knows. Dave knows. Jenna knows. Like, they all know.

I know they know. Dave knows. Jenna knows. Like they all know. I know they know. I'm willing to bet all 12 inches on my cock that they know. That's how certain I am. Everybody knows.

Like everybody knows. It's been going on for years. I saw it happen. When I left, I saw it happen. It started when they fired me. Well, it started when Greg sold the company. Everybody knows. Like we all know. Like I could call heber right now and just start talking about i could call don right now and just start talking about talking about it every i could call uh mayhem i

could call rory mayhem everybody knows i'm telling you everybody's talking about it imagine imagine that we all live in a neighborhood and to get into that neighborhood there's a huge pothole that fucks up and a dog also out there that bites people and every like everyone in the neighborhood knows everyone knows everyone's so it's like all everyone talks about it's so fucking frustrating uh jonathan ortega you don't have 12 inches to bet I know but it sounds good you guys come on been a while since I've seen you buddy stay hydrated 12 inches maybe from the top of the ass crack

yeah of course where do you measure from I think he meant to say all 12 inches of nose that is what I said didn't I Heidi Krum Ortega knows Ortega knows what it tastes like okay too far yeah biting dog there's a dog like everyone knows

tell us for fuck's sake. I mean, you probably know. Everyone knows. It's so bizarre. And so finally, Tommy let it out a little bit. He's he like he if we were going to talk about it, that would be the opening sentence to the paragraph right there. And no one wants to talk about it because no one wants to get fucked. But it's bad. It's like, it is a serious, it's a serious problem and I don't know why CrossFit doesn't fix it. I should note that I would have tagged Talking Elite Fitness,

but they have me blocked. I also cannot tag Emily or Jonathan. That's their loss. Blocking people because you don't want to hear their opinion on certain topics is the most childish thing anyone can do. I don't agree with that. Seriously, that seems a bit immature.

It doesn't take a rocket science for everyone to know to get rid of emily and haynes and annette and that's their um hr lady who came from facebook uh would you like to know more starship troopers? Oh, would you like to? Oh. Tony, HQ should do what Elon did when he got Twitter. Fire everyone and build up again for real this time. That is not what they should do.

They're barely hanging on. Isn't there some Armenian dude that would be a good fit to run the media team? Of course. I mean, I am running their fucking media team. I don't understand the criticism of CrossFit media on the sports side. The sports themselves, MLB, NBA, NFL, don't really have media teams that cover the games. They license to other entities for that. CrossFit needs to provide access, but media coverage is often licensed to others.

I don't even know what the fuck you're saying, Dan. They don't do this either, though. Dude, look at the media the way they do it at the UFC. They let all those guys just fucking run crazy. It's dope. The Dan Garrity, but they don't do any of this they actively stand in the way of getting

incredible content out to people yeah crazy in the way and so everything is relationships everything like the the whole this whole space everything is relationships uh the reason why rich comes on this show is because of my relationship with him the reason why josh bridges comes on the show is because of my relationship with him. The reason why Josh Bridges comes on the show is because of my relationship. The reason why Katie Henniger comes on the show is my relationships with him. The reason why Jack Dela Maddalena texts me today is because of my relationships with him. The reason why I'm about to have the Rotola brothers on here is because of my relationships with Paul. Like everything is relationships. And even I fucked that up.

I get it. I totally fucked that up. Everything's about FaceTime, eye contact. Hey, remember that guy, James Sealy, that I was going after like fucking crazy hardcore, the agent I was so frustrated with. He walked right up to me. I'm doing a podcast. I'm doing a podcast.

Remember that guy, James Sealy? He represents a shitload of athletes. Do you guys remember him? I was so frustrated with him. I was like going off on him, kicking him around on the show. He walked right up to me at a West Coast Classic I keep wanting to call it Wadapalooza and he's like hey dude can we talk

I'm like yeah and so we just fucking hashed it out he's like I didn't say that I'm like I heard you did say that I heard it from very reliable resources he said I would never say that and like fucking a we like we fucking talked it out we have a I think we have a good relationship now is just emailing with him the other day we're now on text threads he's helping me get clients on the show.

Yeah, the reason Ken Walters, the reason Danielle Brandon doesn't come on this show is because of relationships. Her relationship with Rad versus her relationship with me. Oh, Danielle. Oh, Danielle. Oh, Danielle. It's so deep. It's so deep. Oh, my God. I'm panicking. You can't even tell. Hello, stop. Oh, my God, I'm panicking. Oh, stop. You can't even tell.

Oh, stop. Oh, shit. Hello? Hello? Is that better? Something's wrong with my audio this morning. Does that make my robot voice? I didn't know I had that. Yeah, there's no relationships over there. The relationships over there with HQ

are just... I'll give you an example. I'll give you an example. This is a perfect example and just imagine this is happening like non-stop so uh crossfit hq went to guadalupalooza they sent i don't know a dozen or a half dozen six to twelve uh people there for media to guadalupalooza to miami uh crossfit had a 20 by 20 foot booth there i'm gonna have to assume

they got it for free. That's probably like a $40,000 booth. CrossFit made like seven posts from Wadapalooza and didn't tag Wadapalooza once. Which makes no fucking sense. They made six posts on their games

on their game's Instagram. And when you ask around, no one knows why. And not only does no one know why, but when you ask why you don't know, why don't you ask CrossFit, no one wants to ask CrossFit because everyone's terrified. Completely fucking terrified. I don't know if everyone's terrified for the same reasons.

I don't know if Mayhem's terrified for the same reasons. I don't know if everyone's terrified. I don't know if Dawn's terrified. I don't know why. But for whatever reason no one um no one can talk about it and here we go Tommy opened the door to it uh uh yeah they don't do any of this CrossFit needs to do anything and everything to get new eyes on the sport they may license the coverage to network for broadcasting but every sports team has a media team and every league has a media team.

On top of that, look at how much content individual teams turn out in a season. Content train never stops. The old journal and the videos that accompany it were gold back in the day. Agreed. The issue with Dave Ray's pinhole photos of the games are why I became interested in shooting in the space. Dave Ray was the head of the photography department

when I was head of media over there. Hiller's girlfriend, I'm confused. He says, what's new? I know a little Armenian man with lice that would run a better media team than the current regime. No longer with lice. Thank you, Andrew. Miss Christine, Tommy means new leadership not savvy

hey and tommy knows because when the ship went down tommy and team uh the lone ranger podcast those people towed the line they thought they were being good soldiers and now look where they are they're fucked they're they're not they're no they're they're in a worse place i mean like i'm fucking on top of the fucking world and they're in a fucking horrible spot towing the line always gets you fucked in the end it's a little crazy at first not towing the line uh jake chapman uh crossfit llc is a child of divorce hey dude it's just that there's there's just no relation there's no relationships and no leadership from inside the media team and then that media team inside is for some reason being so heavily protected even though it's a

catastrophic disaster which brings me to another point i was listening to craig howard's podcast yesterday if you want to hear some fucking deranged crazy shit listen to his uh prs all day he's lost his fucking mind there's like 20 points in there where he says one thing and then he also says the opposite thing it's like don fall saying hey the company's not for sale and then two seconds later saying it is for sale like yeah of course it's for sale we know it's for sale that's what private equity does he just didn't like they just didn't like the way it was released and then Craig's talking about all the great content that CrossFit puts out and that CrossFit has available to to people in the affiliates but because there's no antagonists it doesn't get the clicks and the views it's like dude um what a weak victim mindset

craig you have excuses for them on why their shit sucks and doesn't fucking reach people what what a waste of time to even you're arguing uh no one wants to fuck me because my butthole stinks oh well uh okay then fix it like it's not an excuse to be like hey that's because we don't have any we don't have an antagonist he's been he's doing it in a way where he's trying to talk down saying that because he doesn't talk about uh contentious topics like this or what hiller talks about or what pager talks about what or what ap talks talks about about Russian subs that there's no views on it. Well, then figure out how to get views on it, dude. It doesn't matter if there's great content if no one's seen it.

Ding dong. Private equity will increase value 20 times before selling unless it's a lost cause and they need to shed the portfolio everyone i don't i don't know if that's true but everyone knows that um uh matter of fact i know that's not true they'll they'll double it they would sell for 400 million dollars right now but um that's all private equity does is they buy and sell shit. So it's not like, it's not like good thing or bad thing. It's just is what it is from,

from the perspective of talking about it. And, and they're, and they're obviously trying to make the books look like they're good. Craig's like, Oh, they're, they're,

they're cutting the fat. They're cutting the fat. They're cutting the fat. It's kind of sad what happened to Craig. He couldn't hang with the rebellion anymore, so he's going to go inside and toe the line. He says some shit in there where he wants the media to look like barry's boot camp have you seen barry's boot camp it's like 100 shirtless dudes dancing on like treadmills does your wife know you want that craig any discussions of the media team should address what their focus should be helping get people into the affiliates or promoting

uh the games elite. I don't know what the fuck that means. The word you didn't understand was fiefdom, essentially land owned by nobility and old time in Europe. Yeah, that is what's going on there. And that is what, unfortunately, that's what's been going on there since 2018. The last two years, Greg had it there. It was bad then, but now it's completely horrible.

People aren't working there. They're trying to keep their jobs there. I don't know if any of you guys have been in a situation like that. It's not like fucking rocket science, but when the sea gets rocky, everyone grabs a rail and is holding on for dear life and no one's doing what they're supposed to be doing for the boat. that's 100 what's going on there there's so much effort being spent on just staying on the boat that nothing's getting done and and then when that's like that when there's when there's fear no one actually wants to work because every time you work you have to put yourself on the line a little bit and you don't want to put yourself on the line because that's an excuse just to get fired. Uh, I wish it was a good old boys club. It's not a good old boys club, but you're close.

Change that word boys for something else. Everybody knows you have, you guys, I need to emphasize that. Everybody knows. So anyone who's like, like everybody knows. Everyone talks about it. Everyone talks about it every day. If you know any of those people I mentioned, call them and ask them, what's everyone talking about? They'll tell you. Everyone loves talking about it. Sevy, do you think your employment at CrossFit, the sport methodology, were a lot more linearly connected than now?

And do you think your experience there may say your opinion on media focus? than now and do you think your experience there may say may say your opinion on media focus uh i don't understand the question but when i was there um i had almost zero focus uh as a job requirement on the games um i was told i was basically the it was only with like dave support that i did the behind the scenes i wanted to do it I did not have to do it. I w it was frowned upon that. I did it. Uh, same with the podcast, same with when I created the email of the day, same with when I created the WOD tips, all of that was super duper frowned upon. And, but, um, but my job, my primary job was to be in charge of everything forward facing. And, uh, we had a great chain of command there and I had great, um, uh, mentorship and leadership on vision from Greg, um, Nicole, Dave, Bruce. Um, and I had a crazy,

amazing team. I had a Mike Warkenton and leaf who fucking understood the, the, uh, the fine details and nuances to the big picture of everything the way we wanted CrossFit to be seen to the outside world. And so most of it was about level ones, training, training, training, seminar staff, seminar staff, training, transformation stories. That's another thing. Craig Howard's talking about transformation stories and how profound they are that's all we did from 2016 to 2018 that was like my primary focus once a week to put out a transformation story he's out of his fucking mind he said some shit about how he called kathy glassman greg's wife uh dude that's his sister bro you can't start the show by saying that you're knowledgeable about

shit and then confuse kathy glassman as greg's wife no if it was listen uh if the if the company was run by lesbians it'd be great lesbians don't tolerate the shit. If the company was run by lesbians, it'd be fine. Plus, lesbians love me. They see right through me. That's not the problem Anyone's sexual orientation

Has nothing to do with the That's not part of the conversation That's being whispered by everyone Has nothing to do with What kind of dick or vag you want to ride It's amazing and should run it all put uh her in charge at the top of the goodish traveler media is amazing should i click on that who is that oh it's this this girl

thanks for mentioning her i've never heard of her or seen her work and it's amazing new follow okay fuck it let's go look at this girl let's see what the fuck's going on here. The goodest travel on the media. It's like Poseidon. It's a fucking photographer. Oh, I saw this girl in person. Who is this? This is one of those Invictus girls.

This chick's a freak. Oh, she has to take that belly button ring out. My God, what is she doing? Invictus girls. This chick's a freak. Oh, she has to take that belly button ring out. My God, what is she doing? I couldn't believe how fucking yoke this chick was.

Yeah, this girl can't run media. What the fuck are you talking about? She's a crazy picture of justin madaris what the fuck that was stupid i shouldn't have clicked that link that was fucking dumb would crossfit benefit more from just hiring their own media team again? Yes, but also the top down needs to show the interest and the drive and the vision for that. If the people at the tip top and the people controlling the money ultimately decided they wanted to, you would have to make sure that the right people are in place to lead

that team too. Because I've said this before, CrossFit had what, 50 people at the games on the media team? What did they produce there is like this constant like political struggle behind the scenes of people like fighting for their own for their little fiefdoms that i think it's in the way of the bigger picture so you have to make sure that the right the right leaders are in place and it's probably probably involve bringing new leaders on the media side to uh make sure that you know they're they're going to actually execute on this vision. Yeah, I wonder if Jenna Hawk is going to see. I mean, I know she knows the problem,

but I wonder if she's going to do anything about it. CrossFit Mayhem is a better media team compared to CrossFit HQs. Andrew Hiller, 100%. We should just let the CrossFit Mayhem run all of CrossFit. I probably don't have a problem with that. So there's that. And I know I didn't say anything, but it's because I'm not interested in hanging myself. But there it is.

I'll point to the giant mole and be like, yep, there it is. It doesn't make it outside very often but everyone knows every everyone knows like um me and tommy are i've never i've never even spoke to tommy about this particular subject but like me and tommy are 100 aligned fucking nuts towing the line will not in the end trust me let me be very clear about this line will not in the end trust me let me be very clear about this in the end towing the line and not going not doing what's right not what not doing what um is ethically morally financially correct you will get pushed out it's only a matter of time patrick clark knows anyone know patrick clark

ask him he fooled this guy fully knows do you think those in charge of media are scared of losing their jobs seem like those people are ones getting promoted yeah everyone dude everyone there is scared of losing their job and if you're not scared of losing your job you still know that you can lose your job it's because you got a backup plan or some shit where you just don't give a fuck. Or you've had enough. Like you just can't hold on to the boat anymore and you're waiting to get just thrown off. It has nothing to do with whether those people are capable or not.

If they hired a team, the real media teams would get shut out. They're already shut out. And at the end of the day, it doesn't matter to... It only matters, at the end of the day, I think downstream the furthest, it only matters to the affiliates. And upstream, so on one end it matters to the affiliates and upstream so on one end it matters to the affiliates and at the other end there's these people who i don't know what the fuck they're doing they just they have zero relationships and in in their they have zero relationships

and everyone's talking about them and they're just fucking completely in a really dark spot and and they obviously feel threatened if there's this move in um there's this move in uh there's this move in jiu-jitsu called turtling and it's when you get down and you cover yourself you're on your hands and knees and you cover yourself up like you're just turtled up that's that's what that's what hq is doing there's only the only thing that we don't see turtling is great uh greg uh dave seve that shirt is gay and i wear it with pride baby and i wear it with pride not that pride not the pedophile pride my own pride. American pride. Home of the free. Huge fan of the gay parade in San Francisco. Lovefest in October, Germany.

Love that shit. I will say this. I do think I like lesbians more than gay dudes. And I've never watched any lesbian porn. It does nothing nothing for me so it has nothing to do with that it does nothing for me zero I think only gay guys watch lesbian porn hey it's

why hire a new media team why not acknowledge you suck it's not even that they suck they just need to build relationships they need to go away on some fucking retreat and be reborn. They need to go away on some sort of retreat and be reborn. And like, I don't know, change your fucking name, do something. It's not that you suck. It's that you're just not doing your fucking job.

Tyler Watkins, how do you know lesbian porn sucks if you haven't seen any? Wow. Wrenches, kick Tyler off his shot. How dare he crush you. How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush

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How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush

How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush

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How dare he crush How dare he crush How dare he crush I dude 100% it's not gay if it's a three-way for sure I agree nothing better like than a good three-way oh my sister just said please send the behind the scenes with James Sprague and give my sister a free copy my sister doesn't have to wait yeah you don't hire back listen they don't have to do anything listen i'm not trying to solve their problem like i know they don't have resources i know that they don't have creativity

i know that they don't have experience i know that they don't have the ability to do anything with the all that content that those 50 photographers made i get all that stuff i'm not even asking to fix that i'm just saying build good relationships with the fucking outside world and if you and that's all that's all they have to do that's that's the only reason why andrew hiller and i have any success it's it's all 100 have to do. That's the only reason why Andrew Hiller and I have any success. It's all in coffee pods and wads and anyone out there. It's because we have good relationships with people. That's it. There's this dude over there at Proven named Nick Johnston.

Nick Johnston? He's the CEO of Proven. If you ask anyone about this guy, people will say he's so fucking cool and nice and yet if you ask anyone about Tia it's fucking the exact opposite but no one cares because this guy is fucking running the show for keeping relationships everyone loves this fucking guy

Andrew loves him everyone loves this fucking guy. Which Andrew loves him. Everyone loves this guy, fucking Nick Johnson. Nick Johnson, is that it? Yeah, such a good dude. See, there you go. It's all just relationships. The person who has the worst relationships in all of the CrossFit space,

everyone knows who they are and everyone's whispering about them. Now, it's okay. I'm not saying that everyone has to say everything nice about you. There's fucking half the people out there are upset because I don't like pedophiles and I love black people. I get it. and so when i see when i see people like um uh craig howard fucking just flailing out there trying to fucking defend the mothership it's like jesus christ dude basically you're being a codependent saying that like turtling is going to work. Turtling is going to work. He's trying to tow the line.

He used to not do that. He used to like think critically. I don't know what happened to him. Like six months ago, something happened to him. He got some weird story in his head where, um, if we'd all don't get on board and support the mothership,

we're going to lose this thing. It's like, dude. Yeah. No towing the line on pedos yeah not gonna do it i'm not gonna i'm not gonna support an organization that burns down that burned down uh fucking 5 000 small uh black businesses last year just because their name says black lives matter am i fucking doing that fuck you and that that's basically what's happening hq people are so fucking scared it's just fear they all know it everyone there knows it ask anyone there if you

know someone who works there be like what's stefan talking about and if they are like, well, he's a hater, well, but what's he talking about? Just ask. And eventually, eventually, if you toe the line, remember, they'll burn your business down too. i know that some of you like thought the the russian warship thing was like ah it's no big deal it's no big deal whatever it's no big deal you know russian army's uh weak and shit but let me show you um uh let me show you this uh speaking of weak oh boy turn the volume up on this one guys you ready uh clock what are you talking about someone i'm just asking i know i know i'm not i know i'm being so abstract it's because i'm a political political monster okay biden's interview transcript is filled with nonsense from time magazine this is fucking wild you guys guys ready? Turn your TV up.

I'll play it a couple of times. Here we go. And transcript of this interview is, I mean, it's pretty incredible. Biden truly makes no sense at times in it. He twice says that Russia invaded Russia. I think the most amusing kind of rambling bit, he's talking about Dick Luger and Africa. So let me read this bit. Back when Dick Luger was alive, he and I started something back in the 90s where we said, late 80s, excuse me, where we said to in the Amazon, they said, look, if you

will make a deal with you, Brazil, you don't cut down your forest. We'll pay you not to do it. We'll pay you not to do it. We'll pay you not to do it. We have to prevent. And that's why we're working so hard to make sure Angola can be in a position that they have more solar capacity than almost any place in the world to help the whole continent. That's why we want to build a railroad all the way with others in Europe, all the way across the continent. What? And transcript of this. What the fuck was that?

That's crazy. Sebi, did you see PBD yesterday? Biden wearing a mask and has a body double. Brad, Brady Libby It's like he picked words out of a hat Tomorrow 8 a.m. Kill Taylor Pacific Standard Time 8 a.m. Pacific Standard Time

Think about doubling the prize money for girls Just because they have no chance 8 a.m. kill Taylor. Pacific Standard Time. 8 a.m. Pacific Standard Time. Let's think about doubling the prize money for girls just because they have no chance. You know what I mean? If you have a vagina, you have no fucking chance of beating Taylor. He's undefeated against the girls. Completely undefeated. I should probably make it $1,000 for girls, right? Yeah, equality.

Tomorrow's show will be sponsored by Toe Spacers. Our first victim is gone. Taylor Self is here. The next victim is waiting in the wing. Wait, no rep. Burpee! Burpee, burpee! Burpee, burpee, burpee!

Oh my God! It's this. It's blind, relentless, constant pursuit of excellence. That's what it is. I went to dinner with this fucking kid, 25-year-old, I don't know, 21-year-old kid. Me and Greg and his father and this kid went out to dinner. And they from the carolinas they came out to greg's bsi thing and i was getting fucking my swerve on and we were chatting and he's like i'm a musician and i'm like oh do you want to make me some shit he goes dude i'd love to and he made me that that's pretty cool right did you guys like

that i was like hey doesn't the the mix is all fucked up like the audio levels he said i'll remix it for you but I really like it should it take that long to put those on dude that was fast are you kidding me Cave Duster the prize will never get over 1500 all the games juice monkeys come out for the right amount of money

hey soon it's gonna be $1000 a show there's so many people chomping we're just trying to figure out the exact right sponsor for it it's funny there was a big sponsor the other day that you guys all know not not and not endemic to the crossfit space outside the crossfit space and they were going to give us a hundred thousand dollars. And they're like,

yeah, and we really want to play it safe or something. I'm like, Hey dude, this show is not for you. This, this show is definitely not for you. If you want to play it safe,

get the fuck out of here. This show is like for, for real motherfuckers. But what's interesting is this company sells to 14-year-old boys. This company that we were talking to, I bet you their biggest market is boys 14 to 18 years old whose moms have to buy this shit for them. Jake Chapman, Seve, what's a thought you have each day that you've never told anyone about? Oh. Hey, Chapman, Seve, what's a thought you have each day that you've never told anyone about? I don't know if I have a single thought I've never told anyone about. I don't know if I have a single thought I've never told anyone about.

I, I, I. Hey, listen, you know what's funny, Cave? We're all waiting for the penis enlarging pill sponsorship for Kill Taylor. You don't even know how close you are. I didn't see Trump on with Logan Paul, Jan Clark but I'd like to okay there's one more there's one more thing you gotta see here we go

this is why it's just crazy that there's fucking nuclear subs off our fucking off the Florida coast because this is the guy in charge of our shit and when I Because this is the guy in charge of our shit. And when I say this is the guy in charge of our shit, I'm telling you that there's blue hairs, victims who are really running the country.

Here we go. Signed the PAC and PAC act into law. I handed the pen that I signed it with the most person, most responsible for the legislation. After I signed the PAC and pack at lack act into law I hand it the pen that I signed it with the tradition of the most personal response legislation That's right. Look at his face when the words get all like Jumbled up. It's like he's taking a shit. It's so fucking crazy. Watch his face sign the pack and pack PACAC Act into law. Like,

PACALAC. PACALAC. It'd be cool if he was a, it would be cool if it was all an act for him, right? Like if he was really like just normal and like he just started talking normal all of a sudden. How did he do the State of the Union? I don't understand that. He really didn't fuck that up.

How did he do that? He talked for like an hour. What do I look up PBD fake mask Biden maybe I have to type in Patrick that David Patrick that David is this new I don't see anything new this kid in town told me i live in a really really liberal town like i'm a fucking king here liberal town like i'm a fucking king here like i like i just live in cuckville and um this kid in town i was talking to him the other day

uh 20 year old kid and he told me probably 80 of his friends are voting for biden uh for trump and all his all their parents are voting for biden he says that all his friends know like all the kids are waking up i was like really he goes dude it's crazy they all know i guess i guess trump's the new punk rock uh divesh maharaj they juice by nut with ca peptides for the debates do they you think they're like injecting him with some shit Audrey I'm going to read Chris Cooper's book while I'm at the pool maybe I'll learn

something about running the gym dude he had a thousand fucking people thousand different gym owners imagine a thousand gym owners came out to Chicago from around the world to hang out with Chris Cooper. Dude, sold out. Listen, there's a reason why this is released on the Sevan podcast. podcast. And it's not because I'm a narcissistic douchebag who can't stop talking about how great a show is. That's a different subject. There's a reason why the State of the Industry

Report from Two Brain Business is released on this podcast. Oh, yeah, relationships. Thank you. No, actually, yeah. Relationships. Thank you. No, actually, that has nothing to do with relationships. That's the one thing that you got me there. Nice shirt, Sebi. Thank you.

I'm going to get off the show here in a little bit, and I'm going to go fucking just chug a FitAid. Creatine FitAid. I got a whole case of the white ones with the gold writing on them that say creatine on the top. But, Sebi, those don't have a lot of creatine in them. I don't give a fuck. I'm a sucker for that shit. So last year, this dude, who I'd like to call a friend, and a listener of the show, Tyson Bajent.

I'm truly friends with his dad. Like, I could call his dad right now and he'd answer me like, what? And so I met Tyson when he was just a little kid. And such a great fucking story. You guys know the story. But anyway, he's now the quarterback for the Chicago Bears. He's working his ass off over there. Look at him.

What a stud. There's the family. Family man, crazy family man. Every time he comes on, he can't stop talking about his goddamn family. Look at. He's friends with black people that's cool you know what is kind of weird about tyson's um uh when you do see his uh pictures oh are you suffering son yes father i'm so thankful for my pain without it my happiness would mean nothing oh wow that's cool i never saw that at the end if you do click his stories whenever he clicks stories all all his friends from high school are black he's always the only white dude he hangs around basketball players i think those those are his friends from like

high school you have to click his stories to see it and he kind of he talks like a black rapper him and his dad anyway anyway uh awesome dude straight as a fucking arrow and in the hood we call him l7 that means he's square as shit full dork mode fucking awesome man fucking i think even him and hiller might even be better friends than me and him now hiller stole him from me anyway he's coming on the show tomorrow for kill taylor again like well we're ripping on the europeans he's like taking notes he's like i think that guy's time is going to be this and this is so funny and this guy's on so um this guy played last so he's the harlan trophy winner which is the best division two football player uh in the country uh he was the harlan trophy winner and last year in a football game he played the heisman trophy winner i think the heisman trophy winner

was with is there a team called the blue jays the The Blue Hawks? The Daffodils? The Detroit Lions? Is it the Detroit Lions? What team had the... Anyway, they played each other and fucking this guy won. The D2 guy won. Panthers. Thank you, Augustus.

Bryce Young, yes. And now Tyson's on a team with this year's Heisman Trophy winner the Chicago Bears drafted a quarterback his name's Caleb Williams and he was the number one pick it's crazy so now he's going to be on the team I wonder how that

plays out but either way it doesn't even matter even if he's the second string quarterback good for him right first year he got to play five games I think he won there's some weird records around what he did now too. Like the most wins for, I don't know. There's all sorts of weird records about what he did last year. He actually started four or five times.

And then this year they got the, they got that crazy defensive player that came on the team last year. And all of a sudden they started winning games. Anyway, what an honor it is for the show that he's coming on and you know it's weird i was talking with someone i got this job now and and one of the things i was talking about with the with the uh one of the things i was talking about with the people who are in this in the who who work for the same company as i do that they were thinking that they want to start a podcast and they were talking about, hey, if you get big guests on, does it cause your podcast to grow? And I was like, no, not at all. And they're like, we didn't think so. And that's a total miss. Misunderstanding, because if you have a big guest on the listeners who come to watch that will just come, watch it, and then leave.

I mean, I have huge UFC fighters on, and it does nothing for the show. Those are actually all my worst shows. Pat, by the way, Patrick De La Maddalena texted me this morning. He said, let's do it. Schedule me up. So that's pretty awesome. Oh, shit, Patrick, you think Tyson will be the starter for the first few games Oh, first few games of the preseason

Yeah By the way, thanks for all the cards, Patrick I keep those here too Tyson and Colton get to stay on the desk You could say the same thing about Tyson though right I wouldn't be surprised if he starts the season if the Bears were smart they would allow Caleb to develop I know but the same with Tyson right

I'm saying put Caleb Williams in there and then and then let Tyson have another year of just like growing developing he's gonna be the fucking next Steve Young so I have a great guest for you like Mark McQueen growing, developing. He's going to be the fucking next Steve Young. Seve, I have a great guest for you.

Like Mark McQueen, ex-Cage Warrior Champion, Bellator fighter. He trains at my gym. He's booked for a comeback fight. His last fight was against MVP. Don't tell me who that is. Michael Venom Page. Oh, shit.

Wow. Wad zombie if Tyson gets Kayla Williams into CrossFit Then he could be great For years Just think about that too For years Tyson was doing CrossFit and there was no con there was like like nothing made about him like and eventually like one video was made on him imagine how that could have been fucking utilized

you could have sent someone out to film with them once a month instead of sending 50 photography for the last three years, instead of sending 50 photographers to the games, you have a full blown fucking documentary right now. God, if I'm an affiliate, I'm fucking pissed. God, if I'm an affiliate, I'm fucking pissed. And I know the affiliates have their heads down and they're just working.

I know. I get it. I get it. And they want to have trust in the mothership. It only takes one affiliate to write a letter to CrossFit HQ to be like, we don't like that Sevan guy, and I'm fucked. Even though that's how scared they are. That's how turtled they are. And my video did better. What video? Tell me. video tell me tell me

uh patty lang uh he went undrafted then made a name for himself right crazy i know tyson's so fucking cool we're so lucky to have him tomorrow he always tell he always responds to texts he always tell me i'll come on whenever you want it's kind of like you don't want to burn him out though right that's why i don't ever ask him about pussy even though i'm dying to

oh shit look at this holy shit uh i'm seeing that don falls scheduled to come on pedro's podcast in 10 days that's cool I'm seeing that Don Falls scheduled to come on Pedro's podcast in 10 days. That's cool. Wow. Uh, Oh, where is the video? And yes. Oh, and yes oh and yes I would love to have you on. I type like a drunk 14-year-old.

Jesus Christ. I'm an ESEBI. um uh don't send that text heavy uh there's someone fucking i love in the community big big time ceo he said he was telling me a story he said i'll come on your show and talk about it I said fucking A I've never had this dude on the show I'm trying to turn a new leaf I'm trying something different you know what I mean like if I've been trying to slide through the fence like this

I want to try to like go in like this now or something or if I've been going in like this I want to switch like this seven types like Joe Biden that's fair totally fair um and so and so i just think that those people at hq like man like i know you're probably really embarrassed and really insecure and you're in a really fucked up spot but like like, just try relationships. Just try relationships. And you have to have a thick skin to have relationships.

You have to have a thick skin. I mean, look at that James Sealy guy came right up to me. How thick is his skin? He was cool as shit. Someone types like Hunter Biden. Probably more like Joe Biden, to be honest. Seve, I'm too autistic

to have relationships. I understand. Can't be bothered. I know that's my concern that they think that I understand. I can't be bothered. I know that's my concern that they think that they think that they can't be bothered, but they have to, they have to. It's all, I almost feel sorry for them too because it's like they live with someone

who they don't get along with and the tension in their lives must be just horrible I haven't heard I don't know if that's going to help if I say that if Taylor runs the Charlotte Classic this year if I come to the if I come to the East Coast

ever it will be for the Crash Crucible and it will only be so that I can collect data to make fun of J.R. Howell that's the only fucking reason because I suspect he lives in a toothless society. I wonder... I should do a whole rant on JR's wife. I don't know how he got her.

I don't know how he got her to live where he lives. I don't know how he got her. I don't know how he got her to live where he lives. I don't know how he does it. You should see her. Holy shit. Uh, uh, Carlos Cuevas, seven,

you were granted three wishes as the CEO of CrossFit for a day. What do you ask for? Ownership of it. Complete ownership of it. With no outside investors. Ice machine and a fridge full of tequila uh vindicate uh there's 100 a toothless society about three blocks from crash yes i know seven have you seen jr you should ask how she got him i know but i'm telling you his wife's so hot that no one talks about it it's like that you know what i mean like no one's ever like no one says anything because it's jr's wife it's just like it's off limits like you can't talk

about it but it's fucking nuts and like natural beauty you know what i mean like just like like she wait like you have to worry like how you pick her up at the bars how she looks when you when she wakes up in the morning and cool it's crazy cool you're not like there could be a chick who's like a seven and she's cool and she's a 10 this chick's a 10 and then she's a 12. it's not it's not even like uncomfortable being around her but she's hot enough for it to be uncomfortable like being in a hot tub with like Brooke Entz and she's in a bathing suit you know what I mean like how uncomfortable that would be

losing your fucking mind or like every night I climb into bed I start fucking losing my mind You guys when your wife goes to sleep do you just like no matter what you're doing go to sleep too Like all right, there she goes she's going to the spot She's going to spot where she gets it All right. Oh, my wife seduced you? That's awesome. I can't be in bed with her without her getting it she just has to get it

all right big day today, big day tomorrow okay, so kill Taylor tomorrow, 8am pacific standard time, tell everyone I wonder if there's a trailer out for that yet oh, how about this girl this girl has fucking 25 million followers and she's jumping on the trump bandwagon how about this shit giant rack amber rose uh said says uh donald trump has her How about this shit? A lot of people were shocked with your endorsement of

Donald Trump. I mean, you're all about women's rights issues. I mean, what was the reason for the big change? Is Donald Trump not for women's rights issues? Yeah, bitch. I mean, I guess a lot of people were asking. He tried to make America great again. That's for women too, right? Yeah, yeah.

That's true. I mean mean does him getting convicted like change the way you knew him not at all oh i watched a saturday night live skit yesterday where it talks about all the bad shit that the fucking clintons did and a lot of it's like tax evasion shit it's so funny seeing it on saturday night live too it's so funny chances like getting like re-elected i think it helps him more i think people see the injustice and what happened. This chick's name is Amber Rose. I'd never heard of her. I wonder if what Hillary's, I wonder if she bought her followers. I don't know how anyone has 25 million followers. And they want to vote for him more than ever.

So it seems like a lot of celebrities are kind of like voting for Trump now. I mean, why do you think people- God, I fucking hate these TMZ people, the way they ask questions. lot of celebrities are kind of like voting for trump now i mean why do you think god i fucking hate these tmz people the way they ask questions they're such douche canoes oh she dated taiga her rack is crazy and this other girl who used to be on prager you amala ekopanobi i don't know how she has two million subscribers but she's fucking hot too uh this is crazy she did a 180 i remember this amber rose chick a democratic uh rallies someone writes oh i never watched this yet uh 2000 oh have you guys seen this what is this

i heard about this and I never watched it. This has 50,000 views already. This list got a dime dropped on them by another games athlete on the list. And that was cool. 2024. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first inaugural CrossFit Games 2024 season. Now you're not as decided by you, the viewer, the listener, however you're watching this video.

It doesn't matter! I asked four questions on my Instagram stories the other day. Those accrued almost 60,000 views. They got almost 2,000 responses. Oh, shit. Hiller has 10,000 more subscribers than me. 25% bigger if I do the math right. Actually, more than that,

but I'm going to tell you why it's not quite 2,000. The questions were, who are the men and women most likely to have used performance enhancing drugs? And then who are the least likely men and women to have used performance enhancing drugs? As I was going through each and every single one of those. Holy shit. Is this real?

Has anyone seen this? Yeah. Amala. What a sweet piece of ass. I wonder if she's cool. Oh my God. Jillian Michaels is so, so, Hey, that's why sorry hillary i that needs to be watched that hillary video sorry this is this is the last thing i promise then i'm leaving i'll

let you guys alone uh um where is that uh yeah this is fucking hilarious this bitch this bitch fucking this is crazy thank you janelle this is fucking wild so this chick's not tough we we know why she left california right does everyone know she left california for the same reason she dogs crossfit because she sucks she's a pussy but but it's still so funny anyway here we go when you got too crazy for me why okay? Okay. This is my parting line. I grew up here. I'm a woman. I'm a gay woman. My mom's a Jew. My dad's an Arab. I have a black kid. And believe it or not, my son is half Latin, even though he doesn't look like it. I hold a million cards in your game of woke victimology poker. And when I leave California, maybe you've lost your mind.

Just maybe. Like, when you have me running from home, maybe it's gone way too far. What the line like like what was it girl there's not enough time and you know i i actually take this this line from bill and um elon musk and they're like i actually haven't changed the world around me is shifting and I haven't moved. No, by the way, that's a lie, by the way, when Democrats say that that is 100 percent a lie. She's saying she hasn't moved. The thing is, you are exactly the same. You you tolerated racism when you believed in affirmative action because you weren't a critical thinker.

And then when you realize that, oh, my God, this makes people think that all black people are stupid when they see them on college campuses, you did change. She's saying she didn't change, but all the Democrats are changing. They have changed. Elon and Bill are fucking liars. That's like such a cliche line. They have changed. Elon and Bill are fucking liars. That's like such a cliche line. They have changed. What happens is you start listening to words. You start listening and start critical thinking because affirmative action sounds really good, right? Hey, there's people who are struggling. Let's make some room at the college for them so that they can get in because you assume that they're still qualified to go there. She's lying. They're all lying.

They changed. So some of these laws that are passing here are absolutely mind-boggling in relation to crime protecting our kids like we're so so those laws about crime have always been in place but what happened was george floyd those laws have been in place since 2014 but now but now they've it's just running rampant now people are just taking advantage at such a high level that they they realize the law was stupid but but it was always stupid it was always stupid not to protect small businesses like instead of making it not a felony to steal 950 or less from a store how about doubling the penalty if you steal from a store that's um has less than five employees tripling the crime how about protecting small businesses fuck i should run for governor

analyzing everything which arguably i would probably be okay with but we're not regulating any of it right so it's like okay you're gonna decriminalize sex work but only by the way what happened to her is someone came into her house or something right so that's what happened it got so bad that something happened to her i forget what it is i forget the story but something happened to her i mean she's just full of shit. I mean, it's cool. And she's a great talker and it's fun listening to her say all this. And like, I like her, but she's just full of shit.

And she's fucking, we already know. We already know why she left California. Same reason why she shits on CrossFit is because she's weak. So women, uh, Jake Chapman, I'm angry that I find her attractive.

She's such damaged goods, bro. We can legally loiter on the streets, like not to keep them safe, not to have them pay taxes, not to make them regularly check for STDs, not to take away the pimps out of the equipment. It's like if you made that argument to me, I'd be like, well, yes, we want. Of course. I'd rather bang the host. Sage steals hot. i mean i could be liberal i could go there with you but it yeah but she's not liberal but she's not but she's not uh vindicate don't forget she's a paid actor fair enough that being said fuck i, I was going to go, but you even fucking believe it. So I looked it up

and it's fucking true. And you are so fucking crazy. If you have your kids in school in California, this is on fucking believable. Are you ready for this? My 12 year. So, so my friend shows me this email that's going around to all the parents who have kids like in the ninth grade right now. And it's coming from the state of California. My 12 year old, uh, will visit Santa in a few weeks. She eagerly awaits the arrival of the magic elf. She loves Percy Jackson and Harry Potter and baby Yoda and star Wars. She does not drive chauffeur here. She does not schedule her own calendar social director here. She will barely brush her hair or teeth, retrieve her dirty clothes from the floor until I screech. She's talking about her 12 year old daughter.

So it is with great irritation that I wrangle with our healthcare provider's website trying to schedule her COVID-19 booster, which is funny, right? So you know this is a full libtard. Imagine giving your kid a COVID-19 booster. So she has a kid that doesn't listen. She's trying to get a COVID-19 booster, but she can't for some reason. Why not? So you know this is a full libtard and record her epi pen prescription so you also know that

the kid's been over vaccinated and so now it has autoimmune issues and fucking all sorts of other fucked up shit right because they they follow the vaccine schedule so she got a fucked up kid right she she drugged her kid um uh and authorize the sharing records You don't have permission to use this service on behalf of your teen. She can't get health services. She can't get her kid the COVID booster. She can't do stuff for her kid, get an EpiPen, because she no longer has access because the kid turned 12 or 13. First of all, people, she's not a teen.

She's 12. Yet 12-year-olds in California have privacy rights that vastly complicate my job as a mom to orchestrate her health care. And by letter of law, we have no right to maintain important details, which can be infuriating as it is inconvenient. Dude, as this goes on and on and on, you realize that the state has fucking a relationship with your fucking kid that you don't have. The parents can't see this, but all the people in the state can see it. All the doctors, lawyers, all that shit. All the admin over there. This is fucking real.

What do you think the implications of this are? And this is a libtard mom flipping out. Doctors are mandated, reporters call Child Protective Services, call the cops. There's some 8.8 million children in California, and about 271,000 of them were subjects of an investigated child maltreatment, according to federal data. I'm not entirely clear why that means I, the mother of a 12-year-old child who's happy and healthy and spoiled rotten

can't access my kid's full medical record. So your kid can go to school, start the process of taking hormone blockers, get their dick chopped off, and you will not fucking know. Everyone's getting these emails. You're fucking nuts Oh it won't happen to me or my kid

I send them to a good school Uh huh Right I don't know how girls work But dudes will do anything for fucking pussy And uh If you don't understand what that means, that means they're capable of making any stupid decision.

Love you guys. See you tomorrow, 8 a.m. Pacific Standard Time. Kill Taylor. Love you guys. Off to the skate park. Buh-bye.