The Telepathy Tapes - S2E22: Signs from the Other Side | Talk Tracks

Episode Date: March 25, 2026

In this deeply moving episode, Ky sits down with writer Carla Kaufman Sloan, whose life changed forever after the sudden loss of her seven-year-old son, Calder.With no prior belief in an afterlife, Carla found herself pulled into a world she never expected through an evidential medium, unmistakable signs, and moments of connection that challenged everything she thought she knew about death.Together, they explore what “signs” from loved ones may look like, whether anyone can ask for them, the role of mediums in early grief, and how meaning and purpose can slowly emerge after unimaginable loss.Carla also shares the extraordinary story of the sign she was promised, and the moment it arrived.This conversation is both heartbreaking and deeply hopeful. It is a reflection on love, loss, and the possibility that connection doesn’t end.Join The Telepathy Tapes Backstage Pass to get ad-free episodes, never-before-heard interviews, behind-the-scenes documentary footage, and access to our private Discord community. This is your invitation to be more than a listener, to help shape what’s next, and to be a co-creator of this paradigm shift. So if you’ve felt moved, if you’ve felt seen, if you’ve felt the call, subscribe today: thetelepathytapes.supercast.com.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi everyone and welcome back to the Talk Tracks. In today's episode of The Talk Tracks, we're taking a deeper look into signs from the other side. What are they? Can anyone ask for them? Do they even exist? And making meaning and purpose out of grief with Carla Kaufman-Sloane. And just a sensitivity warning, though Carla's story is uplifting, this episode contains a

discussion of untimely loss of a child. So please be in the right mindset before listening. Hi, everyone. I'm Kai Dickens and I'm thrilled to welcome you to the Talk Tracks. In this series, we'll dive deeper into the revelations, challenges, and unexpected truths from the telepathy tapes. We'll feature conversations with groundbreaking researchers, thinkers, non-speakers, and experiencers who illuminate the extraordinary connections that may defy explanation today, but won't for long. Sometimes I get asked, how do we support our kids' curiosity without burning everyone out? And that's why I love Time for Learning.

It's an all-on-one online curriculum for pre-K through 12th grade that supports a flexible, personalized homeschool experience for your family. With time for learning, families can move at their own pace, follow their kids' interests, and still cover all the core subjects you'd expect from a traditional school, plus electives. And for older kids, their cinematic, story-driven courses really bring learning to life in a way that feels engaging and not forced. What's most amazing is the flexibility, whether your family travels or learns best in bursts or wants to dive deeply into one subject at a time, time for learning adapts to you, not the other way around. And for parents, their planning tools, transcripts, and grade templates make staying organized, and compliant, incredibly easy.

Curious if Time for Learning is right for your family, visit TimeforLearning.com. That's Time, number four, learning.com, to explore their curriculum and find the perfect plan for your student. You can get started with a monthly subscription to see just how much your kids love learning on their own terms. If the telepathy tapes change the way you see your non-speaking child but left you wondering what to do next,

we made a show just for you. The Telepathy Tapes Now What is a new companion series hosted by two parents of non-speakers who've been there. They offer guidance, resources, and real conversations about how to move forward once you know your child is truly in there. You don't have to figure this out alone. Find Now What on the Telepathy Tapes YouTube channel and wherever you listen to your podcasts. We have a very special guest today, Carla Kaufman Sloan. And I first learned about you in reading Laurel and Jackson's book Signs.

And to those who have never, you know, heard your name, who are you? you and maybe explain kind of your journey and what, you know, what you're doing here today. Okay. I grew up in New Orleans. I moved in New York. I wanted to follow the entertainment industry. I loved movies and TV. And I became a writer for television. And then I also worked for Judge Judy, which is a very fun job. And then I met my husband in Los Angeles. But we were older. We were like in our mid-30s and I thought I was never really interested in getting married like I just really wanted to keep working and then we met and fell in love and we got married and then he said to me one day oh yeah let's move to Miami and I thought he was joking because that's what old people

do and we were I mean we were 35 we weren't old so we ended up moving to Miami and I still was kind of half in half out so I'd come back to L.A. a lot. But we would visit each other. And on one of those visits, I got pregnant. And we were like, oh, we were both surprised. It wasn't something we were really thinking about. But it was exciting. And so then that grounded me, literally.

Like, I stayed in Miami. And we were pregnant with Calder. So were you excited to have a boy? Or did you not care? Were you just like, whatever comes my way? I never really thought about it. But when I found out he was a boy, was a little bit nervous because I'm such a girl, I guess. I don't know. I guess if you

have my friends, they might not agree with that. But I thought, oh, how am I going to raise a boy? And it was the best thing ever. Like, he was just fun and funny and just like, just so full of life from the beginning of the journey. He was just this fun and hilarious little guy. What's the age difference between your two boys? Two years and two months. So they were really close. Calder and Caleb. And Caleb, yeah. And they shared a room.

And we had the car beds. We had the whole thing. We were like, boy, boy, boy. Calder was a fish. He was an avid swimmer from, like, both of our kids. We lived in Florida, so they started swimming when they were little toddlers. And he just really loved it. We call him a unicorn in our family because he was super athletic, and none of us are.

But he would, like, swim. He would claim jungle gyms. he would play soccer, baseball, like whatever, but especially love swimming. And we got an invitation to a friend's birthday party, an adult party, no kids. And Chris and I went back and forth on it. That's my husband, Chris. I was like, I don't know. Do we want to leave the kids at home with the nanny on the weekend?

And he was like, we haven't done anything as adults in years. So we went to this party. We had my nanny, her teenage son, Caleb was home. Calder was a great swimmer, so when they said, can he go swimming? My husband was like, yeah, it's the first day of spring break. Of course, he can go swimming. And unfortunately, what no one knew was our swimming pool. The pool light was electrified.

Somehow something had gone wrong. And he dove into the pool and swam to the end, which is what he always does. Dive in, swim all the way to the end, holding her breath, and touch the light. And unfortunately, that day he, he, he was going to the end, he was going to go. He touched the light and it killed him. It was literally so much electricity had thrown him out of the pool. And everybody was screaming and yelling. And of course, our neighbor came running over this big bodybuilder to give him CPR

because everybody else was hysterical. But he just couldn't hold on to him because of the amount of electricity going through his body. And so then they took him to the hospital. You just know when you get the phone call. Like our babysitter slash nanny on the other line just couldn't breathe or talk. And she just kind of wailed Calder's name. And I know. So that's the day our lives change forever.

I still get emotional. Yeah, of course. Yeah. There's no pain in the human experience, I think, that can ever understand, you know. And, you know, obviously the stages of grief are enormous. And what were your beliefs going into this regarding the afterlife? Because I think that can really inform how people handle grief.

It does really inform how people handle grief. And I had no beliefs. I didn't believe in the afterlife. I didn't know what I figured once you're dead, you're lost forever. And it was so shocking. And unbelievable that seven days after his seventh birthday, we were in the morgue. So I just thought, I'm lost. I can't get through this.

And of course, you had to help your other son. Yes, that was like a main focus. That's actually what got me out of bed in the morning was Caleb in knowing he needed to be supported and he needed to still go to school and he needed to not live in this dark place that I was living in and everyone greeds differently. I'm sure you know this, but my husband went, we owned our own business so he immediately went back to work

because he was like, we're not going to let this completely destroy our lives. We got to hold on to something. So that's what he focused on, which was great. And I focused on Caleb. and Caleb was little. He was barely five at the time. So luckily he could go to school and he could kind of get away from the grief

because he had no idea what it was. For a full year, he would ask me when Calder was coming back because he thought he was playing hide and seek and he just was doing a really good job because that's how a five-year-old's brain works, right? Yeah, you can't process death. Right.

Anything that final at that age. So what was the turning? I mean, there is no turning point. I know when you lose a child. But like what were your next steps? What happened next in the process that started to maybe change your perspective on everything? Because what ends up happening changes the course of your life. Right.

So what happened was my husband, because we owned a little TV production company, you know, there are mediums in television all the time. And there was a guy who worked for us who had produced a show with a medium. And he said to my husband, unbeknownst to me, would you ever want a reading with a medium? And my husband was like, what is that? Because that's how far, I mean, I had watched TV shows, so I knew what a medium was. But I didn't know at the time that any of that was at our disposal. So my husband had a reading with a medium named A.J. Barrera. and he recorded it because he was a great professional medium who did that so you could go back and listen to the entire reading in case you missed something or it's just comforting to hear the information over.

But my husband didn't tell me that he had done this. He kind of kept it to himself until he came home one day and I was, you know, I was like a zombie, like walking around, crying, doing the dishes, whatever. And he looked at me and he said, I have something to tell you in a very, like, I've got a secret kind of thing. And I thought, whatever. Like, I can handle anything at this point. What is it that you want to tell me? And he said he had had a reading with this medium. And he asked me if I wanted to hear it.

And I said, of course. And so he played the reading for me from his computer. And we were both riveted for 45 minutes. We couldn't stop listening to it. We didn't talk to each other. We didn't breathe. And it's just what everyone says when you get a really good reading. He was giving us information no one could have known.

What type of things was he saying? Well, he told us that it was interesting because it was almost like he was playing with Calder. This was only three months after Calder passed. So he was probably still in his kid body, still, like, being super, like, he was really fun. He always had this fun energy. He was talking about, like, he's flying around here, and he's making me feel like he's in an airplane. And then he's making me feel like, and he was just laughing. Like, the medium was like, he's really fun energy.

And then he started saying, he's telling me something about Edison. Like, he was trying to be. figure out what he's telling me about my friend who works for Edison the electrical company but then he said oh he's telling me he was electrocuted outside in your swimming pool like it was so accurate and there was no way he could have known that and just the way he came to it was so interesting and strange and then he would just keep saying things and the coolest thing about the reading is you hear my husband go from completely oblivious to asking questions and AJ saying, yeah, you can ask him whatever you want. You don't need me.

You can talk to him in your head. And by the end of the reading, my husband was just like, this is so cool that you can communicate with him. And so was I. But he said, he's so sweet. My husband, at the end of the reading, he goes, would you do this from my wife? She could really, I think it would really help her. And AJ, I think like any medium was like, well, why don't you play it for your wife and she'll see if she wants something like this? Because as a medium, I don't think they ever want to approach someone and be like, you know, because it feels, it creates doubt.

If you're like, let me give you a reading. And I was really like took it as a challenge. Like, oh, he's not going to give me a reading. Well, I'm going to find him. And I did find him. and he was giving a mediumship conference with one other medium, four mediums in Virginia, and I signed up with a fake name and decided I was going to go there and find him and see if this was really real. And why did you use the fake name?

Because I thought if I go with a fake name and I pay for everything in cash, no one will know who I am so they can't figure it out. Right. So he couldn't like scam the system and look you up ahead of time. Exactly. That is exactly right. So did you get a reading? So I go there and it's a room full of mediums in me. He's pretending to be a medium. Although I didn't really realize that when I got there, I was like, oh, everyone's a medium.

And then I said, this is hilarious. So you're pretending to be a medium? This is so funny. It's like dead to me. I didn't realize I was pretending, but I did. So they called me, oh, you're Melanie from Miami. Welcome. Like I was probably the person who traveled the first.

this for this. These are all people who just go to these things all the time because they're training and they want to get better. And I said yes. And so the first night, it's very, it's very beautiful. Like there's meditations and conversations. And then AJ and this other woman got up and they did what's called a gallery reading where they gave a reading for everyone in the room to show you different styles and how it's done. And so everyone, I felt like everyone around me was getting a reading and I was thinking in my head, okay, Calder, I really, I need to know that this is real. So I need a reading. But he didn't come through that night.

And so I went back to my room completely dejected and I was like, I'm going home. This is ridiculous. I'm not doing this. And then the next day they started with that. And the woman who was giving, the female medium immediately came to me and she said, I'm with you. And she started giving me all this information about this woman with blonde hair and just on and on. And I was looking at her like, nope, not me. And then she kind of went to the person next to me. And then she came back to me. She goes, no, this is for you. This is your friend. And she gave me the

information. And again, I was so upset that I didn't get a reading that made sense. Again, I went to bed that night and I was so upset. Not out of like malice, just like I really didn't know until I went to bed and she, she may have come to me in my dream, but when I woke up, I just knew who it was. Hey, all, so for me, skincare can be super overwhelming. There's a lot of products that promise they can do everything and then you try them and they don't seem to do much of anything. And so what I have been drawn to just in general are things that are actually rooted in real science. And that's one of the reasons I've been super drawn to one skin. And what really caught my attention is that one skin was founded by longevity researchers

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I woke up in the middle of the night and I knew exactly who it was. Wow. It was like one of my closest friends from L.A. who had died two years before, but I just wasn't thinking about her, which is horrible, but you will not only get the reading for the person you love the most, which is a challenge for mediums, because here's this poor woman giving me this great reading. And I just kept saying, I don't know what you're talking about. Did you ever get a reading from Calder?

So then the next day was the last day when we were wrapping up. And by this time, people would have to tap me on their shoulder because they'd be like, Melanie, and I didn't know they were talking to. I was like, oh, yes. And so that day, the final gallery reading, AJ, we were about to wrap up. And AJ goes, oh, wait, everybody, sit back down. There's one more spirit here. And I know it's a little boy because he's pulling in my pant leg, and that's how they let me know they're little.

And he gave me a reading, and he said this boy's name, and he said my son's Hebrew name, which was nowhere to be found. Like, you couldn't even look that up. It wasn't, the gradestone wasn't set yet, and that was the only place we put his Hebrew name. And then he started to give me a reading, and I disrupted the whole convention just by sobbing hysterically,

and just I fell apart because everything I wanted to be true was true, but I couldn't fathom it. but I knew it was real. What types of things was he saying to you besides the Hebrew name, which is unbelievably significant? Yeah. It's hard for me to remember because it was so emotional, but he told me he wants you to know he has his glasses, which was one of the key things in both readings, but he didn't realize he was bringing him through again. So his glasses, we couldn't find anywhere.

We were searching and searching for Calder's glasses. and it turned out they were put in the casket with him, but no one knew that, not even us. So he brought that information through. And he just brought through, like, beautiful moments of memories of Calder and I that aren't even, you don't think are significant when you're a mom, like, just doing stuff, but meant so much and certain songs that we listen to. But what happened was because I got so upset, everybody, like, was confused because if you're a medium, you hear these stories all the time.

And so they kind of gathered around me like, what's going on? Melanie, what's going on? I thought I confessed. I was like, this is what happened. And they're like, oh, my God, it's so early in your grief journey. It's really hard to be here during that time. You really need to go through your grief. And the woman hosting the event said,

this is why I have strict rules about reading for parents because it's a way to avoid grief instead of going through the whole process. And she said, but since you're here, and we know your son's here, and then she gave me a reading, and then this whole line of mediums gave me reading after reading after reading. It was magic. And then... And all of it felt evidential. All of it.

Even, like, called her even, like, let my grandparents speak because he was like, and it was my mom's birthday coming up. So one of the medium said they were two older, like made me know it was my grandparents and said they were saying happy birthday to someone in your family. So I knew it was like evidential in August, your mom's birthday. And it was just mind-blowing. And so one of the things. that comes for you later is a story with signs. And I think that's just such a beautiful story.

So I want to get to that in a second. But first, like, after you left there, what changed in you and how are you feeling? And, you know, did you share it with Mike? When I left there, I, what happened was I was able to believe that Calder wasn't gone, but I was still in a prolonged period of grief just because I was stuck in it. But I knew I had to, if I wanted to pursue meditating and maybe being able to connect and learning more that I had to get off the prescriptions that the doctor was keeping me on, I had to clean up my act.

And so it took me probably another six months before I was like, okay, I want to read everything I can about this and figure it out and see what. What's possible. So tell me about how you met Laura Lynn Jackson because she's a pretty well-known evidential media. Back in the beginning of my grief, a friend of mine's sister had died, and she got a manuscript of Laura's The Light Between Us. And she gave it to me, and she said, don't tell anyone this is, you know, it's not with the publisher yet. And they're trying to make the deal. And you shouldn't tell anyone I gave it to you.

And I thought, okay. And then... So funny because it's like the worst nightmare for every... Like, I'm just saying at the rough cut of the film right now to people. I'm like, do not share it with it. And always someone will share that. Always. And it's so funny.

Human nature. And when I told her that years later, because I met her by then, she was like, that's hilarious. Because of course she's like, of course you got it. That makes total sense to me. So... Okay, so you get the manuscript. And that first passage is what you read in season two was about... all the kids coming to Laura in the car.

And I thought, this is amazing. This woman is amazing. This is the best story I've ever heard. I have to get in touch with her. So I told my friend I was going to get in touch with her. And she's like, yeah, right. You're never going to get in touch with her. She's like far beyond her pay grade.

And I thought, okay, I'm going to figure it out. And of course, because of the way the universe works, it somehow worked out that we got to meet. I was able to get Laurel and Jackson on Zoom to talk more about what she remembered of Carla story. I met Carla when she came to me for a reading in my home. And I remember when she sat down, I was flooded with information. Her son who had crossed came through so clearly. And it was so important to him that Carla knew. Number one, she never needed someone like me. He needed her to know. He had been communicating with her and sending her signs from the moment he crossed.

I started getting signs early, but I didn't understand what it was. In a lot of What do you mean by that? Like, what type of signs? So one of the most beautiful signs. You know, a lot of times when people, your loved ones cross, they come to you in dreams. But instead of dreams, because my grief was so thick, I don't think he could get through. As I was falling asleep at night, he would come really close to me. Like he was going to kiss me and I could see his lips in my mind's eye.

And I would wake me up because I was like, what's happening? Because I fully didn't understand anything. And it happened repeatedly. And then it wasn't until, like, months later, that I realized that was him saying, I'm right here with you, mom. I'm right here. And I feel like when our loved one passes, especially a child, they're doing everything in their power to let you know they're okay. So you can get through your grief and continue to live the life you're supposed to live here. So I really feel like Calder was pulling out all the stops because I was stubbornly holding on to my grief.

Like I didn't want to let it go because it felt like I was letting him go until I realized that that wasn't true. So he did everything he could. He put things in my path. He started sending me dragonflies nonstop. They would be everywhere. I would be in a swimming pool with like 100 kids around me splashing. and being crazy. And my sister-in-law would look at me and say,

they're two dragonflies sitting on her head. She's like, I guess Calder's here because then everybody knew. And it was just, it becomes fun. I want to quickly bounce over to a conversation I was having with Laurel and Jackson. Signs are one of the hardest things to believe in. So I wanted to ask Laura to respond to the skepticism that I think a lot of people probably carry. Well, there's two huge obstacles we each have when it comes to embracing that secret language of communication, the unseen energy all around us, the ongoing love, right?

And it's doubt and fear, fear and doubt, right? First, maybe the fear of like, and I've had people say this to me, I didn't want to ask for a sign because I was so afraid I wouldn't get it, and that would devastate me. So I waited months, and then I finally did it, and then I got my sign, and now I'm so happy, right? So there's fear about, will this work? And then there's doubt, and here's a thing.

When we receive our sign, it's this great spiritual connection, and it's not using the part of our brains that we, use most of the time, which is this frontal lobe, which is in charge of critical thinking, analytical thinking, math, language skills, all those things that we use in our waking hours. So when we have a spiritual experience, that little frontal lobe, what meditation teachers refer to as the monkey mind, because it's constantly chattering. A lot of times very negative, but it's based very much in like logic. And if you see it, it's real. If you don't, it's not, right? It tries to reject that spiritual experience. So it will say, oh, that's just a coincidence. That can't be real because it

doesn't fit our materialistic paradigm. So there are those two very important obstacles that you have to be cognizant as you enter this language of signs. You're going to need to know that your little monkey mind is going to try to tell you that the signs are not real. And now I want to cut back to Carla because it is very hard to dismiss her sign story. I would love for you to tell the dear sign story because that is just like the best sign story I think I've ever heard. I know in season two you had Laura on. So the way I came to be in the book signs, was she gave me a reading. And then she goes, are you guys going on a trip coming up? And I said, yes, we are. And she said, oh, well, Calder said he's going to send you a deer to have a moment with.

Laura ended up getting her an unbelievable reading. They went and drove to the Florida Keys, which is a rather long drive, you know, and Carla fell asleep in the car. And she was awoken by her husband who said to her, oh my gosh, there were just all these deer on the side of the road. And they've been to the Florida Keys before, but they've never seen what we now know as key deer, which are these small deer species. And Carla was devastated. She thought, oh my gosh, I was asleep for this connective experience with the deer. Like, I missed my sign.

I was crushed. And in fact, I thought about it all weekend. Even though we were there, we were having fun, like, putting on the brave face, like, doing all the Kiwa stuff, going to the sunset thing at the pier. And, you know, we wanted Caleb to have fun. And so we go to bed that night, and Chris is like, I can hear this commercial for a bar called the No Name Pub. And Chris goes, oh, I've never been there. And then we go to sleep. And we're driving home the next day.

and he decides he wants to stop it, then he's no-name pub, because he has to see everything. He's very interested in every single thing. And it turns out you can put dollar bills on the ceiling with someone's name on him. So he wanted to put Calder's name on a dollar bill on the ceiling. But he didn't tell me any of this. He's just like, we're going to stop here. Caleb, again, is in the back and the sleep.

I'm asleep, and I was waiting in the car for him, just kind of like. In the parking lot of the pub. Yeah, in the parking lot of the pub. But like, okay, this is a nice wrap up to the weekend. And across the parking lot, I see the bushes kind of move. And out of the bushes came a little deer. And key deer are smaller than regular deer. They're these cute little deer.

And it's walking towards me. And I thought, oh, it's happening. This is the moment that Laura was talking about. And I got very nervous that I was going to scare the deer. So I'm like trying to get out of the car. And then it just kept walking towards me and walking towards me. And I walked over to where the benches were closer to the door. And the deer walked right up to me and it put its nose in my hand.

And as it was doing that, Chris walked out of the no-name pub and he took a photograph of the deer putting its nose in my hand. And we couldn't believe it. We both just stood there. He was like, what is happening right now? And I thought, this is what she said was going to happen. It's happening. And the deer didn't even run away when Chris came outside. Nope.

It kind of just hung out there for a while and then... And let you touch it. Yes, which is so interesting because wild animals, you never know how they're going to react. But it just, it was very docile and just hung out with it. this for a while. And then it kind of wandered on probably looking for food or something. And we got in the car. And he goes, did that just happen? And I said, I think you got a picture of it happening. And he did. And he sent me the picture. And I immediately texted Laura. And she was like, wow,

that's incredible. He really got you your sign. And I said, yes, he did. What have you learned about signs since then? Because that is such an incredible sign story. I know. For people, like, can you ask for them from anyone? Do they have to be specific? What are the easiest kind to give? What have you learned about signs? Well, so it's interesting because I feel like signs are so common, but we don't always realize it. And I feel like any loved one who's crossed can send you a sign. And you can ask for it. I mean, Laura is very, specific. She's like, ask for the most difficult specific sign you can think of. And, um, but I think for me, a lot of times when it happens is also in a moment of struggle. Like, when you need a lift, they're very intelligent about when to pop a sign into your path. And that's what happened to me one day when I was overwhelmed with grief. It was like two years after.

called her had died. And I was working really hard not to cry in front of Caleb anymore because I just felt like he had had enough. And I'm not saying crying is bad because it's not. You need to cry. You need to get it out. But I was like, okay, hold it together. And I get out of the car to take him in to get some food. And I look down at the ground. And there's a heart-shaped leaf on the ground, which I think is also a sign people get a lot, but I had never gotten one before. And I looked down, I picked it up. And I said, Caleb, look at this. And he goes, oh, a heart from Calder and just went on about his business. Because kids are so, like, open and made sense to him. That's what it was. And let's go get our food now. And so that was my first heart-shaped leaf. But I do feel like

you can ask for them. And I really had an interesting experience lately. So I've started leading a grief group in Miami with another parent who lost her son. It's all parents who've lost their children or whose children have left their bodies. And we get together and we talk about the signs we've gotten and they're always amazing. Like the kids are amazing with the signs they send us. But I thought, oh, let's do something fun. And let's ask for a specific sign for all of us so that we can all see if we get the same sign.

And we asked for a pink elephant. And this was like a couple of weeks ago. And so we started to see elephants here and there. Everybody would text their picture into the group. And then one mom who is the newest member of our group, her child just crossed about six months ago, sent a picture of a pink stuffed animal. elephant. And we were like, that's it. And then the next day, I was moving some stuff around in my office and I hit this deck of Oracle cards. And a card fell out and it was two elephants. One was

pink and one was purple. And then the next day, another mom sent a picture of a pink elephant. So I really feel like if you ask for it and everyone sets an intention, you can get any sign. That's amazing, by the way. I mean, I can't even fathom how surreal that must be. It is surreal. Every new year, I come in

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Tell me about the book you just wrote. Okay, so I wrote this book called Everywhere about Calder and my journey through all this because I literally didn't think I was going to make it through grief. And I thought, okay, I want to put a book out there that lets anyone who's in grief know that their loved ones are with them and they're going to make it through and they're going to have some amazing life still so they shouldn't just be sad all the time but the reason I titled it everywhere was because of what I was telling you with Calder he was so adamant about making sure I knew he was with me and it wasn't just me because when a child dies especially it's like a

atomic bomb. It, like, affects not just everyone in your family. It affects the whole community, the kids in his class, friends from afar. Like, there were, there was one kid in his class who just couldn't go to school anymore. He just couldn't, the little seven-year-olds, he couldn't understand what had happened. And so he just started to go in on himself. And I didn't know that at the time, but one of my closest friends called me and told me the story, and she said, he went to school today because last night he had a dream. The Calder came over, and they were playing on the trampoline like they played every day. And Calder said, it's okay.

I'm good. Like, look, we're still playing. Wow. And he, so it's like they're working over time to make sure everyone's okay because they don't want their death to cause problems. So it's really your journey through grief. Yes. And, I mean, not recovery, but just able to kind of thrive in a different way in the world.

Yeah. So it is. It's about, like, how deep the grief can go and how you are still meant to live a full life. And if you can, whatever you find your purpose to be, like, I really do believe that now my purpose is to help other grieving parents or anyone in grief. Like when my friend's father died last year, I really feel like all these conversations we've had since Calder died actually helped her be able to understand that and feel like I'm looking for him and he's sending me signs and she can feel his presence.

also. Like she says, I'm driving around. I know he's in the car with me because he was always telling me how to drive. And I just feel it's so comforting and true. What would you say are the things that people on the other side most want people to know and maybe patterns of things that come up all the time? Like, what are, if you could, like, leave the audience with wisdom, what would you tell them? Well, I feel like it's so simple that we are all. You know, Libby says it in John Paul that it's all about love and loving your fellow man and just doing the right thing for people. But I feel like we're all here learning different things. And the thing that comes up over and over is enjoy the ride.

You don't realize what a gift you've been given, even if you've had this horrible tragedy. we've had. You still have to enjoy being on earth, being alive, like really don't forget to have joy in your life and have fun because we can get so wrapped up in our schedules and our, you know, oh, we have to achieve this. Oh, I have to make this much money. But really, it's just these simple moments. The people who come through aren't coming through saying, I'm so glad that I had $10,000 in my bank account when I crossed. They're coming. through saying when you were at my bedside and held my hand right before I crossed, that's what meant the most to me in my life. And I want to just say how thankful I am that you are my daughter

or how thankful I am that you are my father. Could you talk about the desire for people on other side to want their loved ones to move on, whether that's to, if you have their kids, don't stop being a fun, goofy mom or even falling in love again. What have you learned around that? They never want us to stop living. I feel like that's the hardest thing for a parent. Like, I have experienced parents who don't want to live anymore. And their child does not want that from the other side.

They're like, that's a waste of this gift you've been given to just give up and lay down and die. Yeah, I think that's the almost best thing you could very sure people of because so often grief, especially when we lose someone we love so much. Yeah. It feels like a mark of that love to almost be a martyr, right? Like I won't live again. I won't love again. I won't be happy again to show you how deep the crater is in my life.

And it feels like on the other side, they're like, no, no, no, no. Don't let me be a crater, you know. Let me be like a beautiful joy that you remember, but like keep going. And I don't know. It just seems like the best thing people could hear from you. Yeah, it's true. And I feel like a lot of times it sends you in a direction. Like we started a foundation for kids in grief.

And we named it after both boys, Caleb and called Ursulins, awesome foundation. And Caleb came to us recently. And he goes, I know we always focus on kids. but since I feel like he's around my parents a lot lately, and he's like, I feel like older people lose their memories, and he's been studying music, and he goes, I think I want to do this project where I create a group where we go sing songs to the older people from their youth.

So they're, like, having fun. Wow, Caleb wants to do that. Yeah, he just did it. That's how old is Caleb now? He's 16. That's awesome. He's awesome. Thank you for.

for saying that. But he just did his first show at my parents, my parents' senior living community. And, yeah, it just made everyone happy. And I think that's what people want from the other side, too. They're like, enjoy that fun. I'm so proud of Caleb, though. I mean, truly, because I feel like you have two choices, really, every day, which is, like, how are you going to make people feel? And are you going to dedicate your life to making people feel good and safe? or living in a state of fear where you're often trying to knock people down or harm them. And, I mean, obviously Caleb's been through an incredible amount. Yes.

But, you know, at 16, he's thinking of seniors who are, you know, maybe not feeling safe or losing their memories and trying to create that. I mean, it's such a cool thing. It is. It's really cool. Thank you for saying that, yeah. Yeah, he's had to live a lot in 16 years. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, there's nothing like that. Well, any closing, like, how's Chris doing now? Chris is awesome. He is still nonstop. He, like, works. He went through this whole health thing recently where he was like, I'm going to get the healthiest I've ever been in my life,

and he did that. And because we're friends with this family who lost their son to brain cancer, that's who I run the grief group with. He took on this challenge of doing this, bike ride where you raise money. So every year, he did it first last year and this year he took it on. He wanted to beat his number and go further and raise more money for research. And I feel like, I feel like that's kind of, you know, his MO. He just wants to keep giving back. Yeah. So cool. Well, any closing thoughts or I guess first to start with where can people find your book?

It's not out yet. I'm hoping to find a perfect publisher. by the end of the year. My agents out there working hard. Wonderful. Do you have a website or anything if people want to find you? I do. Carla sloan.net. I have a substack. People can look up. And of course, I'm on all the social media channels. Beautiful. Thank you, Carla. That's it for this episode of the Talk Tracks. But new episodes will be released every Wednesday. So stay tuned as we work to unravel all the threads, even the veiled ones that knit together are reality. And please remember to stay kind, stay curious, and that being a true skeptic

requires an open mind. Thank you to my amazing collaborators. Producers Catherine Ellis and Selena Kennedy. Technical directing audio mix and finishing by Jeremy Cole, opening and closing music by Elizabeth P.W. And original logo and cover art by Ben Condora Design. I'm Kai Dickens, your executive producer, writer, and host.