The Tim Dillon Show - 148: 148 - Streak of Evil (with Yannis Pappas)

Starting point is 00:00:00 You are listening to the Gas Digital Network. And now, Tim Dillon is going to hell! Hello everybody. Welcome to Tim Dillon's Going to Hell. It's alright. You know what? It's we're all doing what we have to do. Good to be here again. Tim Dillon, Yanis Papas, one of our favorite guys ever to be on the show. Returning favorite. I'm using my proper pronoun. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:00:52 Him. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him.

Starting point is 00:01:40 Him. Him. Him. Him. Him. His. His. His.

Starting point is 00:01:48 His. His. His. His. His. His. His. His.

Starting point is 00:05:41 relates to. His. His. His. His. His. His. His.

Starting point is 00:06:21 Right? Right? Right? Exactly. My grandfather was a garden teacher and he got fired. Yeah. You know. Give it.

Starting point is 00:06:30 Give it to. My grandparents never dressed up. My grandmother was never in an Elvira costume when it tits out. Yeah. It just wasn't the case. Yeah. Because she had children and she cared for them. My parents didn't take me to any children's movies.

Starting point is 00:06:44 Right. You know, I remember being seven years old and going to see Reds and Jagged Edge. My father took me to Deadman Walkers. Yeah. I remember going to see Jagged Edge, which was Glenn Close was in that. And it was about, I don't know, it was about a murder. Someone breaking into a house and murdering somebody. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:02 I couldn't sleep for three years after that. Right. They just dragged me into whatever R movie they wanted to see. That was it. I didn't see Star Wars until I was 56 years old on my own. Right. You weren't going to Ninja Turtles. No, they didn't do any of that.

Starting point is 00:07:13 Yeah. Because they were busy working. Yeah. They were entrepreneurs that built their own business. And they just, I met them like four times. Yeah. Before college. My parents were just not home.

Starting point is 00:07:22 They were just a blur in a suit. Yeah. I was raised by a Greek woman who did not speak English. Right. She was an illiterate woman. Right. She raised me because my parents were working 24 hours a day. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:32 Yeah. But if you tell people now, if you say, if you even suggest to them that they take on any, or they evolve, they take on any responsibility that would be considered like adult responsibility. They always tell you how wrong you are. And there's a lot of people that don't care about their families. Yeah. No. Don't be one of those either.

Starting point is 00:07:52 Yeah. I'm not telling you to be that. You know? Yeah. It was fire back and they're like, you know, my, my father and mother never should have had kids. Like, you know, you're right. Talking to you, I agree that your mother and father never should have had kids.

Starting point is 00:08:05 I totally agree. Good point. Yeah. But I'm just saying, I don't know what people, all these people, and I have friends of mine that are so against the idea of having kids, man, what the fuck are you going to do? Yeah. What are you going to do? You're going to hang out.

Starting point is 00:08:20 Yeah. Till you're 60. You're going to be a Twitch streamer. Well. At 60. That's what LA is. LA, you have 45 year old men. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:29 Walking around in, in, in socks and sandals. Yeah. High old day. Yeah. Twitch streaming with a dog that they adopted and they're, and they have like arrested development and many of them are on the spectrum. Some of them are to the spectrum. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:46 And if you don't want to be, you know, an autist walking around in a bright colored shirt, maybe it's time to get a fucking clue. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, it's, it's an era where I have a friend I went to college with who's like a guidance counselor in school and King of Prussia in Philadelphia. And she says it's different. She's a liberal, open-minded person.

Starting point is 00:09:06 She's like, when we went to school, you know, the parents would side with the teacher. Right. If he were fucking up in school, they'd go, the teacher would say they're doing this and they'd go, why are you doing this? Now, she says the parents come in and the kids doing something. They're going, what are you doing wrong to my kid? Why is my kid? So it's like, there's just been this shift where it's like very central.

Starting point is 00:09:28 Everyone's trying to get younger. Everyone's focusing on the youth and blaming the systems, the older, whatever, the flaws of other things and not the person. It's like, maybe your kids just broken. I wonder why. And I hear that from my friends that are teachers too. And I don't usually listen to my friends that are teachers because we all know that teachers are, in many cases, full of shit.

Starting point is 00:09:55 And they are. I'm kidding around. I do give teachers a lot of flack here because, you know, it's not the hardest job in the world. Right. A lot of them are just the wives of very rich guys. Yeah. It's a lot of people that are, well, I call them summer enthusiasts.

Starting point is 00:10:09 That's what I call them. Okay. Because it's, you know, everybody's like, it's the worst job in the world. You're out of 230 in the two best months of the year. Your ass is parked on the beach. Yeah. The hours are conducive. Okay.

Starting point is 00:10:21 My husband makes 15 million, so the 30,000 doesn't really move anything. Doesn't really matter. And I sit on the beach for two months while all the kids that I spent time with for a year go and do home invasions all summer because I've taught them so well. So, but a lot of my teacher friends say to me, the parents now are always on the sides of the kid. I don't know when or why that happened. I just, I don't know why that's the thing.

Starting point is 00:10:44 Maybe it's just this obsession, like you said, with the idea that kids are, should be listened to. Well, I think it's this theme that like flaws makes you, nobody wants to admit flaws. Right. It's like, when I was growing up, and not to glorify, because there was a lot of horrible things about those errors. Sure. Behind us.

Starting point is 00:11:07 But there was a more of a truth, more of an honesty about like, my parents just openly telling me that my brother was a smart one. Right. And when I got C pluses, it was a celebration. Right. Because I was just stupider than he was. Right. And they told me that.

Starting point is 00:11:21 Right. So it was like, that's what it was. Right. But me, me knowing that was like, I got to be funny. So I was, I was kicked out of schools and I was a class clown. I found something I was good at. It's like, people who achieve things, achieve things because they accept their flaws. And they say, I'm going to make this flaw into something.

Starting point is 00:11:37 You know what I mean? Yeah. But if you. Now, you're not kids energetic. You're like, give him pills. Stop him from being energetic. It's like, no, put him on a stage or do something, figure out what he likes. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:48 He's not broken. He's just not as smart as Jimmy. Well, now. He's not going to be a lawyer. Now everybody's got the measles because nobody will give him the needle. Nobody gets a vaccination because we've decided that Jenny McCarthy is a doctor. There's a real war on science right now. Huge.

Starting point is 00:12:03 That there's a lot of people divided. Well, I'm just along political lines on peer reviewed science on both sides is scary. But I'm, I say, you know what? I know you have like the journal of the American Medical Association. I say, let Jenny McCarthy and Rob Schneider have a say. And also listen Milano. Yes. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:22 Let, let them have a say. Yeah. Let Jenny McCarthy have a say. She should. Why not listen to her? What is toody from facts of life got to say about this? I mean, Alyssa Milano was on who's the boss. Why are you?

Starting point is 00:12:33 Why is she on the news? Yeah. You got to love how Democrats are like, how could they elect Trump? And they're like, yeah, how can you let go of Trump because I'm following Alyssa Milano's tweets. Yeah. Who's the boss? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:48 Who's the yeah. Alyssa Milano's the boss. Yeah. We want to be led by narcissists. Yeah. This is what we don't really admit as a society. Yeah. We like these types of people.

Starting point is 00:12:56 Yeah. We love avatars like like Ocasio Cortez or Trump. We don't really like understanding systems or how things work because it's complicated. There's like this diffusion of responsibility. The mortgage crisis, perfect example. If you read any book about the mortgage crisis, it's really emotionally unsatisfied because you can't come away with any one group because everybody was getting into the fuckery. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:21 Everybody. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. The people weren't really victims. Number one, you go Wall Street, we're fucking liars as they've always been. The government was doing the wrong thing. Everybody, the ratings agencies, everybody got involved.

Starting point is 00:13:35 But we tend to not like that. We like these avatars like video games. We look at it like a video game. So you use Trump on one side and then we have Ocasio Cortez. We have one side. We have a game show host. And then on the other side, we have somebody who was a bartender up until a few months ago.

Starting point is 00:13:51 Yeah. Have a bartender. And now we have a child star. Yeah. Alyssa Milano. Yeah. Has entered the fray. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:59 Those are the main characters. Those are the main characters. Yeah. And this is how it ends. And this is what's so refreshing about talking to somebody like you is that you understand that this doesn't turn around at all. No. No.

Starting point is 00:14:14 No. No. No. This is a cruise ship. This is it. This is a cruise ship. Yeah. And there's a frozen tundra ahead.

Starting point is 00:14:22 Yeah. And in order to move that cruise ship, the ship does not have the dexterity to make a quick turn. No. It's not a fighter plane. It's not a fucking speedboat. It's not a plane. It's a 747 just packed with dumb, fat, fucking useless eaters.

Starting point is 00:14:34 People. Yeah. And you can't turn it. So it's going dead on into the iceberg. That's it. That's what's going to happen. Yeah. It's a cruise ship.

Starting point is 00:14:43 That's it. It's too big and dumb and slow to turn. It's going to be interesting to see what happens. You said that to me. You're like, you can't. We can't go. You don't fix this. It's spinning this way.

Starting point is 00:14:53 You can't. You know. One of the major reasons you can't fix it is because if you, if you go out there and you talk to a person, just pick a person, just pick a person, okay. Doesn't matter race, religion, age, pick a person and you talk to them for a few minutes and you realize that the, my, my uncle said something once and he said it was during Easter dinner. It was a little depressing.

Starting point is 00:15:19 It was right after the Easter prayer, but he said he goes to the people are too dumb to be governed because they're too dumb to be governed. It won't work because if you have people that are selfish, rotten to their core people, this is what he said during Easter, he goes, they're just rotten to their core. They want things to consume. They want for themselves. They don't, they have no investment in learning or, or knowledge. They don't care.

Starting point is 00:15:47 None of it matters to them. So what you do is you have only 10% of people who care about acquiring that knowledge. But those people are craving sociopaths. So when those people have all of the knowledge, they weaponize it and then they use it against the bottom 90% who are just trying to get pretzels. That's pretty much what they want. They want pretzels and pools. They like floating in a pool and pretzels.

Starting point is 00:16:10 They don't give a shit. They don't ask why are we in Libya? Why are we in Syria? Why are we here? Why are we there? Nobody cares. When you have a population like this, how do you, because the world is so fucking complex now and the, the systems and the things that you have to understand, otherwise you fly

Starting point is 00:16:32 out. Otherwise you fly out of the handle. You go, you go join the clan, you go march with a torch, you know, you, you use to call yourself a communist. You're walking around Brooklyn saying, comrade, hanging out at some bar, you're just really trying to get laid. You're talking about how great Marxism is. But that's what happens if you don't want to understand how complex the problems are.

Starting point is 00:16:52 Well, this is why we can't win. The real reason why we can't turn this cruise ship is because all these dumb people we're talking about. And look, it's not to disparage them. It's just what it is. It is what it is. It's just what it is. That's it.

Starting point is 00:17:07 Most people are just a little slow. It's a little rough. Play at the plate. You're a human. Right. You know, it's like, okay, we thought he was an ape. He's a human. We, we looked at the replay.

Starting point is 00:17:15 He's got a finger on the plate. It's barely slid into human. It's mostly what it is. During periods of industrialization or whatever it is, those people are occupied with jobs. Right. So they're not out there trying to find, am I a communist, am I this? It's like, those things are going to be over your head. You need to get these people occupied.

Starting point is 00:17:35 Yes. You need workers. They need something to do. Rosie the Riveter. They need something to do. Right. And in China, they have something to do. Right.

Starting point is 00:17:44 They all get underpaid to make my iPhone. Right. And that's why China is winning. Right. Because the masses are occupied. Yes. Here, the masses are on Twitter and they're trying to tell each other what to do and who to follow.

Starting point is 00:17:58 Right. They need to be occupied and not with a Game of Thrones show. No. They need to be working. Their head needs to be down, but there's no factories to do that. There's nothing to do that. The robots are coming. There's nothing we're going to be able to do with these people when they don't have

Starting point is 00:18:11 a job to go to. Yeah. Right. Get up, by the way. Nate, if you could get up, get up. It doesn't have to be immediately, but I wanted to share this with him. Get up like the top 10 things that were happening as Rome collapsed because this is a great thing because I looked at them again last night and I was really amazed at how similar

Starting point is 00:18:34 the situation is to what we have now. We're an empire. We're past peak. We're all over the world. The dollar is still the world's reserve currency for how long we don't know. We are mortgaged. I mean, what is China owned now? What are we?

Starting point is 00:18:49 What are we? 20 trillion in debt? I mean, they just own everything. It's just something crazy. On all levels. On all levels. They own everything. They got their head down.

Starting point is 00:18:57 They're occupied in there. We think we're getting the short-term money from them. We're getting the short-term profit for the big guys, like, hey, this guy's making this for much less and they do it much better. Because their whole system is made to beat us. Well, they run like a company. The whole country's run like a corporation. It's run like a company.

Starting point is 00:19:17 They're a machine. And machines like that, they culminate in trouble. One way or another, it's going to culminate in trouble. It's going to be, we're ready to go to war when I ran. We're ready. I don't even know. If you miss a day's news cycle now, we're in a war. You check back in.

Starting point is 00:19:34 We need a good war, though. We do need a good war. I ran won't do it. There's a room somewhere right now with a couple of guys. Nobody knows their name. No. Nobody knows their name. They don't want anyone knowing their name.

Starting point is 00:19:47 They don't want anyone knowing their name. They're not on Twitter. They're not on Twitch. They don't got a blue check mark. No. None of that. They got the real blue check mark. They're invisible.

Starting point is 00:19:55 Right. And they're in places you just can't get into. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. A little private club action. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:04 Sure. It's just the top of an apartment building that has gargoyles on it. Yeah. Yeah. There's just gargoyles on the building and they're up there. Yeah. And there's a lot of really fine oak in that place. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:14 There's a smell of scotch. Yeah. And they're trying to figure out what to do with these people. Right. Because they understand it. Right. They're above partisan politics. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:23 They don't care. They're trying to keep this thing going so their family doesn't get eaten by these people. Right. Right. They don't. They just want to keep people out of Newport, Rhode Island. And they've been doing it for years.

Starting point is 00:20:33 They've been doing it for years and they figure out strategies how to do it. Right. They've got to figure out a way to keep the animals at bay. Out of Newport, Rhode Island. We can't have a riot at the zoo. We can't. So sometimes they come to the conclusion we just need a war. A little bit of a war.

Starting point is 00:20:51 I think even sometimes they call up the guy in the other country and go, listen, listen guys. Do you need a war? Do you need what? And then the guy goes, you know what? You're fucking shit me. Yeah. We need a war.

Starting point is 00:21:03 We need one. We need to create jobs. Because right now there's no new thing. If you were going to be a part of the tech boom, you have to get educated to do that. Our people don't want to do that because your people are making the phones and it's like it's too easy. We just need a little conflict. They're all fucking, they're all majoring in English and ABGTC studies, nobody's in

Starting point is 00:21:25 STEM. So we've got to downsize this population to create some opportunities. So just down one of our planes. Because a war is the best tool for job creation. We'll just send the fighter jet over there. We'll down it ourselves. And then we'll just get involved because that's what we need to do. It has to happen once in a while.

Starting point is 00:21:42 It needs to happen. Because yeah. It's hard to count on a plague. Yeah. It's hard to count on a plague now because there's people to, there's too much education. There's too much, you know, the standard of living is higher. It's a lot cleaner. Like a plague is really rapid and you also can't control one.

Starting point is 00:22:01 If you get like a real bad bird flu, that could start taking everyone down. We don't want that. Yeah. Yeah. We need, did you, did you find it Nate? I have found a list that's eight reasons why Rome fell and the things that were happening. Is it a Buzzfeed list though? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:22:16 We don't want that. We don't want that one. We're going to try to find, if Rogan had any of these producers, by the way, he'd shoot them all in the face by the end of the day. If anybody at this place was, if Rogan had to deal with these people for literally a minute, they would all get shot in the face. He would break their necks on camera with his bare hands. He would choke the life out of them.

Starting point is 00:22:36 Yeah. Um, that guy, that guy, Jamie, is like, it's like, that's like dealing with a spaceship. You know? Yeah. It's like the show's being produced by AI. Yeah. Let's try to find, we'll just try to, we're going to try to find what was happening as Rome fell.

Starting point is 00:22:51 Like what was going on as Rome fell. It's okay. We have the whole rest and a half hour to find it. Yeah. Well, what does the list say? You want to hear what the list says that he got? Yeah. Maybe we're being hard on it.

Starting point is 00:23:00 Maybe it could be a good list. Yeah. I don't think so. But okay. Let's go with your list. What list do you have? And admittedly it starts far out, but it does, there are some parallels in there. The list I want is when they're like, they're talking about making celebrities out of chefs.

Starting point is 00:23:15 Ah, okay. Set, like all the things that are, yeah. Yeah. Just, just, just poke around on there. Try to find. Don't work. Don't rush. Three, four episodes from now.

Starting point is 00:23:25 It's fine. Don't worry about it. I don't want anyone here to rush. This is my whole thing with this network. I don't want anyone here. I know we have 75 shows that we're producing, you know, four or five of them have listeners. I don't want anybody to be rushed, you know, we've got a lot of promising Instagram shows that we've signed.

Starting point is 00:23:41 Yeah. You know, our CEO is wearing sweatpants somewhere with a 14 year old Ukrainian. I want to make sure everybody's happy. I don't, I want to make sure everybody's happy. You know, I don't want anyone to work too hard to make things happen, you know, right? We got a fireplace that's unusable. We've got what we need. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:00 This is what we need. Yeah. We got, we got track lighting. Like we're on fucking Connie Island Avenue at Rasputin's, the Russian bar. It looks like we're the underneath of like a Dominican guy's car. Yeah. At night. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:13 This is what you need. Yeah. Yeah. We don't do that. We don't do that. It's low on oxygen in here. Yeah. We don't, we don't need any of that.

Starting point is 00:24:21 Yeah. Um, but it is, it is, it is wild, man. But they did do that. They started making celebrities out of chefs and sort of, they went that, they went that whole route because everybody got really decked in. Things are very decked in. And then also when you look at like the way the rich are behaving now, the rich are behaving like they no longer inhabit the planet that we do.

Starting point is 00:24:51 They really are behaving like back in the day, rich people used to have to assimilate to a degree. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So if you look at all those buildings on Fifth Avenue, they're beautiful. They're limestone. They're fortresses, but they actually are built to conceal wealth.

Starting point is 00:25:08 Yeah. Much more than to flaunt it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's very interesting. Because rich people used to, they're like, cause they knew they're like, cause they knew

Starting point is 00:25:16 they knew we want it. We don't want them to know how much we have. If we get too cute, people are going to start throwing rocks and they're going to start, they're going to like very much like Frankenstein. These people are going to charge the castle. So we have to keep it down, keep it down. You know what? The whole wasp aesthetic drive, you know, maybe a little beat up older car.

Starting point is 00:25:38 And now listen, still own the fucking world, but don't let anybody know. Right. You know, keep things kind of bare, simple, plain, you know, wasp food always sucked. It was always like fucking weird butter and mayo based salads, egg salads, sandwiches, fucking, you know, but you know, the Southampton bathing court, which is like the most elite 800 of the wealthiest families in the country. There's no AC. It's not new.

Starting point is 00:26:05 It's not old looking and people like, why? Because there was something to the idea of tradition and the idea of people not appearing to be kings and queens like the countries they left. And the stuff that was really decadent was beyond the understanding of the common man. The food is like, ah, they wouldn't want to eat it anyway. And then you had a cigar that was made out of the skin of like a Honduras girl that was wrapped in that. And then you had like a Scotch that was 400 years old, or you had a mansion, or you had

Starting point is 00:26:34 a mansion in Long Island in Newport, but it was never in somebody's face. Right. You don't put it in the face. It was never in somebody's face. You wouldn't go up to a kid with soot on his face because he was cleaning a chimney and fucking hold your watch out and be like, hey, fuck you. You know, which is why Adam McKay and the people that make succession did did. It's a good show, but they do some stupid things on that show where they have like

Starting point is 00:26:59 people taking off their watches and giving them to immigrant kids. Like it's just stupid. It's like those because what Hollywood likes to do is pretend they're not rich. So they create these characters of rich people that are really evil, except the ones that their friends with an L.A. and Malibu, because those are the good people know what Hollywood. Those are the good guys. They like to pretend like they're very liberal on the Instagram.

Starting point is 00:27:21 Yeah. And then they get into their accountants office and say, how can we hide all of this money? So the government doesn't give it get it to give to our producers. Check it back in. What's up, buddy? Yes. So this is the list I've found. So this is the seven signs of an empire in decline. Interesting. So we have debasement of currency.

Starting point is 00:27:41 Interesting. Economic crises, public shows to distract the populace. Chefs as celebrities, emphasis on food, pleasure, crazy apathy, and finally, sexual obsession. Thank you. I mean, I mean, could you could you spell out porn? We are crazy with porn now. Yes.

Starting point is 00:28:01 And, you know, Chris Hedges, this guy, he wrote a book. And it's fucking free, which is crazy. It's free. There should be a struggle to get it. It's never just people fucking. It's people getting choked out, waterboarded, you know. Chris Hedges, who's a writer who wrote a book, it's a really fun book. It's called America, the Farewell Tour. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:18 And he went to the porn convention in San Francisco, and he goes, the level of violence in porn now is amazing. Yeah. Just the level of straight up violence, people feeling somewhat powerless and sadomasochistic, crazy violence. Well, even transport is it's created by the porn industry, right? Because trans, they want to transition fully. Most of them want to actually have the surgery.

Starting point is 00:28:41 Right. But it's like keeping the penis is like it's decadent because it tricks the brain like the straight brain. Right. Because I watch these neuroscientists talk about like, you know, animals, the phallic, a hard dick, like other animals used to see a hard dick. And it would get them hard because they would want to compete with the with the guy who just the whatever animal just bang that check.

Starting point is 00:29:05 Interesting. So they put all those elements together. You know, nobody wants to see a porn with a small penis. Right. You know, straight guys aren't like, let me see the smallest dick. Yeah. They want to see big dick. Of course.

Starting point is 00:29:14 Because it's just a sign of like virality. Yeah. And so the porn industry, the people involved, like, I don't want to do this. Right. But it's creating this kind of illusion. Yeah. This smellless illusion that people are whacking. It's not normal to stare at a screen and whack off to something.

Starting point is 00:29:28 No, that that there's it's not real. And it's also not normal to take a guy who makes meatballs and make him into a star. Yeah. Like Mario Batali, he was going around right. He had rake rooms. This is how powerful this fucker was. Forget Harvey Weinstein. I get Harvey Weinstein casting couch.

Starting point is 00:29:46 He's got all this power in Hollywood. Mario Batali is making fucking meatballs. And he's got rake rooms like a king, like Saddam Hussein. And what's he doing, making wild boar ragout? But this is a decadent. We are as a country with fat, decadent pigs. Worship the food. We just want to jerk off.

Starting point is 00:30:05 Nobody wants to fuck anymore. They just want to jerk off and eat a nice big bowl of wild boar ragout. Yeah, people are. Yeah, and it fucking's gone way down amongst young people. Nobody wants to sacrifice. Right. Nobody wants to. Right.

Starting point is 00:30:18 Like you said, create a family for a kid. Look, here's here's what I realized recently, because I just got married. And I'm we're going to get to have a kid and I'm going to do that. Yeah, because what I realized is like, what else is there? Because yeah, and I was inculcated in this thing. Like, what's my purpose? There's no purpose. Yeah, I'm just lucky enough to have a little charisma and be able to bullshit.

Starting point is 00:30:37 Right. And so I don't have to work like you got to work. Right. But we're just fucking blades of grass here. Yeah. And just like blades of grass, just like strawberries, just like fucking aunt and eaters. They all have one purpose, propagation. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:51 There's some things you don't question. Right. Why should I have a kid? Because that's what you're here to do. That's what we're all here to do. Right. You some things you just can't say, fucking, why should I do it? It's like, because it's that's what we do.

Starting point is 00:31:02 Yeah, look at every animal, look at every vegetable, look at every plant. Yeah, that's what this is. That's it. That's what it is. Yeah. So if you're married and I have friends out there that are married, I'm telling you right now, there's exceptions, but you know what I'm saying. If you don't, yeah, listen, if you've got a heroin needle hanging out of your arm,

Starting point is 00:31:19 we're not talking to you specifically right now. Yeah. Clean it out, maybe. And then a few years down the line, you go, yeah, we don't want to deal with your kids. We're not, we're not, we don't need that. Yeah. We don't need that. But what I am saying is that I have a lot of friends that are married who aren't going to have kids.

Starting point is 00:31:35 I can tell you right now, your marriage will fail. Yeah. Because getting married without having kids is stupid. Why would you get married if you don't have kids? It makes no sense. Yeah. No sense. What's the point of doing that if you're not going to have kids?

Starting point is 00:31:46 It makes zero sense. I don't see it. Yeah. So all I'm saying is that I don't want to be controversial. I don't want to make everybody mad. I'm just saying, if you don't have kids, you better be fucking really, really good at something. Yeah. Now, many of you think you are and you're not.

Starting point is 00:32:02 No. You're not. There's like 15 people who are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's very, and very few people are going to have a career that fulfills them on a level where they don't need to have kids. Most people won't.

Starting point is 00:32:15 This is, this is what we're trying to do. So, but yeah, I was, I was a wild boy. Yeah. I was just trying to have fun. Yeah. And in Long Island, people, we like to have fun. Little criminality. See what we did last slither.

Starting point is 00:32:28 You know how we call the streak of evil? Well, we did last night. The streak of criminality. We had a nice dinner with a few guys. It was like a special night. It was a real white privilege night. In Long Island, that's a weekly event. That is, yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:39 It's a Thursday men's club event. Well, White Pea, White Long Island is white privilege carved out. It's white privilege, the place. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's retarded people driving Lexuses. Yeah, but let me ask you this question. If we acknowledge our privilege, can we at least enjoy it?

Starting point is 00:32:54 You should be able to, you know who's enjoying? Yeah. His privilege? Jimmy Fallon. Yeah. You know what's the most privilege? Yeah. To sit coked out at a desk and talk to him up every night

Starting point is 00:33:03 and get paid 25 million a year. And what's the lead in? That's privilege. What's the lead in? The lead in is the news. It feels dystopian. The lead in is the news. And the news is saying we have the opioid epidemic

Starting point is 00:33:12 with thousands of people in the street scratching their skin off. And here we go. Let's kick it over to Jimmy, who's playing fucking Tetris with Miss Piggy and Cameron Diaz. Because he's having a lot of fun. And NBC has chained him to his death. So he doesn't run and bite an attractive woman in the front round.

Starting point is 00:33:30 Yeah. Yeah. OK. So you don't talk about white privilege. Yeah. Let's talk about 25 million a year to sing songs with muppets. Yeah. And if you don't like that, you can always go over to James Corden

Starting point is 00:33:39 where he's singing in a car. Yeah. James Corden is on a road trip. And by the way, he's a fat British guy who acts black. Why is that OK? Hey, cultural appropriators. Why is it OK for him to be like, OK, motherfucker, here we go.

Starting point is 00:33:50 I'm James Corden. But what is that about? The British were none too kind to Africans, as I remember. Yeah, yeah. And then if you don't like that, you could go over to Kimmel, who's very serious. Yeah. And in tears.

Starting point is 00:34:04 And I get it. And he's got some, you know. But it's a very serious thing. It's always very serious. Yeah. OK? Yeah. And they all do the same.

Starting point is 00:34:12 Or you could go to Colbert, who is about to be thrown out of it without Trump being elected. Yeah, they needed that. Trump is the producer of that show. He's the producer of a lot of shows. Right. Yeah. Or what they do on Colbert, they let people come out

Starting point is 00:34:25 confused and do four minutes of stand-up comedy. They come out like a deer in headlights, and they're like, huh, hello? They look like PTSD kids from a human trafficking cult in their first suit. They come out, and they go, huh, hello, the other day, I bought a watch, and the, huh, huh, huh, what? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:45 And the crowd goes, oh, yes, I guess. The applause sign goes up. This is it. People used to come to New York and go, oh, my fucking god, what a city. Now they come, and they go, I'm glad I live in Grand Rapids. Yeah, it's kind of the same as Grand Rapids. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:59 It's pretty crazy. Sterilized. But my point, folks, infinitecbd.com slash gangfest. Go get the pass. Your life's not complete unless you got some CBD oil. Yes. I mean, America's just a big buffet at a casino at this point. That's what it is.

Starting point is 00:35:13 You pay 15 bucks upfront, and you go in there. Get a crab leg. And you just want to put as much on your plate for as long as possible. And it doesn't matter if the food belongs with the other food. No. Doesn't matter if a crab leg and a pancake are touching. Doesn't matter if maple syrup's touching the crab leg,

Starting point is 00:35:28 because it's all going down the same. I remember I looked at a woman once. I was in a buffet in Long Island, and I almost vomited. She had a nice big plate. And what she was doing, most people, when they're done with the circumference of the plate at the buffet, they are done. Once you've filled out the plate, you're done.

Starting point is 00:35:44 This woman was putting food on top of other food. Like, for example, potato salad was going on top of mashed potatoes, and great. It didn't even make sense. I said to her, I was like, are you not? Do you not get concerned with all the food mixed around? And she looked at me and said, it's all going in the same place, like a trough, like a pig, in a trough, you know?

Starting point is 00:36:07 People looking for purpose. There's no purpose. Yana said one of the funniest things I ever heard. We were on the cruise, the Impractical Jokers cruise, and the median weight on the cruise was about 440 pounds. You could take all the people off the boat, and it would be the weight of the boat. You could challenge the weight of the boat.

Starting point is 00:36:28 If you could glue those people together, and they had some sort of buoyancy, and you could put them in the water, you could race. You could race the boat. These are big boys and girls. Yeah. They had scooters. They went scoot, and they went scoot.

Starting point is 00:36:45 They'd go right down the buffet in a scooter, OK? And Yana said to me, Yana goes, here's what happens to these people. Hey, guys, don't ever. He goes, when they feel a little air pocket, just a little opening, just a little air pocket opening, they get panicked. And they're like, I got to fill this immediately.

Starting point is 00:37:05 So they stay in a constant state of being full. It's great. Yeah, they treat it like it's a breach. It's a breach in their security. There's an opening. There's a hole. It needs to be filled. Like a buzzer goes off.

Starting point is 00:37:21 Yeah. Get back in there. You know like the Indian guys, the Indian guys usually, they've cornered the business, waterproofing brick, right? With brick, you could waterproof the whole thing. If you miss one spot and water gets in, it could compromise the whole structure. Everybody's fucked.

Starting point is 00:37:36 That's how they look at it. There's a little hole in their stomach, and they're like, it's got to be filled. It's got to be filled or else I'm not a whole person. It's that American ethos of just more, more, more. I want to really go down to Cancun to an all-inclusive Sure. With AOC.

Starting point is 00:37:56 Yeah. And I want her to tell me with a straight face, are you really the first generation in America to live without prosperity? Right. At this, so I want you to tell me that at the fucking breakfast buffet at an all-inclusive, which is basically a carved out oasis in a poor country

Starting point is 00:38:16 for fucking Americans who eat and drink like Roman emperors. I mean, the guy's a bus driver and he's going down there and he's eating like Nero. And you're telling me you're the first generation to live without prosperity? She's completely out of her mind. I mean, how can you say that with a straight face? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:36 Well, you know what it is? That is the only thing that it takes to be a politician, is to say things. Am I missing something now? Shamelessly with a straight face. That's literally what you have to do if you want to get into politics. It's acting for people like AOC's cute, but her teeth

Starting point is 00:38:54 are fucked up. So she can't go to fucking Hollywood and be an actress. But what she can do is go on MSNBC and tell everybody how fucked they are. And then it wasn't their fault that they had 27 children. It's okay. Somebody else's responsibility, okay? Everybody came over to this country for the most part,

Starting point is 00:39:14 poor, everybody, okay? Everybody. And some people had more advantages than others. Poverty is where the human condition starts from. You never really have to explain poverty. This is why people get this wrong. Thomas Sowell, who's a really smart guy, talks a lot a bit about it.

Starting point is 00:39:32 The only thing you ever really have to explain is wealth, prosperity, how did you get wealth? How did you create this thing that hasn't been around? Poverty is the species originated in poverty. It's like almost a natural state of things. It's the way it is. Okay, so everybody talking about poverty is kind of missing it.

Starting point is 00:39:50 I understand that poverty is a problem, it's epitome, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What you want to do is how do you create wealth? How do you take people that are poor and the only idea that a lot of these people have is to find people that have money, take their money, which I'm not against in every instance. You have to temper greed.

Starting point is 00:40:10 You have to do it. You have to temper greed. You have to do it, but like somebody said, doesn't matter how many kids you have or what kind of education you have, you shouldn't be poor. Hey, buddy, that's not the world. Yeah, that's just not realistic. That's just not realistic.

Starting point is 00:40:22 Your politics just aren't based in reality. That's not realistic. That's not a real thing. One little loophole. Right. That's socialist and communist, never mentioned. Right. Like, you can't make everyone equally wealthy.

Starting point is 00:40:36 No. Because in order to be wealthy, you have to be a capitalist. So the only option for socialism is to make everyone all the same poor. Yeah. That's it. You can't. Because wealth comes from capitalism.

Starting point is 00:40:48 People don't talk about the very obvious differences in intellect, aptitude, effort, ability, all of those things. You go in comedy. We know geniuses who have not succeeded because they don't give a fuck. They have the, they're funny, they can write, but they're not as aggressive at securing opportunities

Starting point is 00:41:14 for themselves as they should be. Why? Who the fuck knows? It is what it is. It's just the way it is. And we all know people that have succeeded wildly with some talent. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:26 You know, you go, talent is subjective. Yeah. It's got some talent. That's the definition. That's talent. And, but what did they do? They fucking worked their asses off and that was the equalizer.

Starting point is 00:41:40 So this idea that you can somehow create, now I'm not saying, like I think people should have health insurance. I think there's probably some type of universal basic income. There's certain things that we might need to have is practically to avoid Mad Max. Yeah, because you live in a society,

Starting point is 00:41:54 you gotta make this all work. To avoid a Mad Max situation. But here's what you can't tell. You cannot tell people every day that they're victims. You just can't do it. Not in a country where the poorest people have advantages that throughout the world, poor people throughout the world

Starting point is 00:42:10 will look at our poor people and be like astonished at their level of, so you just can't tell people that they're a victim every single day. How do black- That's what Charlottesville is. It's a bunch of white guys walking around thinking they're victims.

Starting point is 00:42:26 Because people are telling them they're fucking victim. They're fucking white guys walking around a college campus that think that Jews have created a country that won't allow them to succeed. Because no girl wants to fuck them because they don't know how to sit down at a table without taking their cock out or saying something ridiculous.

Starting point is 00:42:46 So that's what happens when you tell people that they're owed things and that they're victim. Right, that's how the radicalization process happens. Absolutely. I'm a victim. And then they start focusing on the extremes and mistake the extremes for the norm. They look at this one thing,

Starting point is 00:43:02 and they go, all those people are like that. All of them are like that. It's like, no, you're just mediocre or less. And you have no work ethic. You're just not that good. There's not something- And these people that are angry- It's your fault.

Starting point is 00:43:16 When you look at a lot of these kids that are angry, a lot of these old right kids, they go to college, they live in a house that they don't fucking own. They have access to the internet because they're on it all fucking day, talking about Jews. Yeah, and they're just mad

Starting point is 00:43:29 that they're getting beaten by Mexicans. That Mexicans will outwork them. So they want them out. And there's some guys that are better looking than them that are fucking more. Sorry. Go walk around a locker room. You'll see people with big dicks,

Starting point is 00:43:41 people with medium dicks, little dicks. Dicks that look like they were in electrical fire because there's veins wrapped around. Dicks that look like they got halved and then put back together. To sit there and say, how do we make every dick? You just gotta go into the world with what you have.

Starting point is 00:43:58 And so I have a big problem with this whole idea of like, and that doesn't mean there aren't genuine, there are genuine victims out here. But we can't tell everybody that they're a fuck. Every millennial is like, well, the mortgage crisis, I'm fucked now, I can't own a house because of the mortgage crisis. My generation got fucked with student loans.

Starting point is 00:44:15 Nobody told you to take out student loans, you know? I mean, and if they did, maybe you shouldn't have listened. Well, I was saying before about black people, and I don't even know if I've said this before on this podcast. I don't know about that, but it's like, I don't know how black people stomach hearing from Asian and South Asians about how hard they have it.

Starting point is 00:44:37 I don't either. They're like, yo, your parents chose to come here. Right. Your parents now are probably doctors. Yeah. You guys are crushing it. Right. You chose to come here from where you came from.

Starting point is 00:44:48 Yeah. So something's not right over there. Right. And you're talking about how much of a victim you are? Yeah. I mean, how did it get away with that cultural appropriation? Yeah. Because that's what it is.

Starting point is 00:45:00 Yeah. That's the only significant cultural appropriation I see is how everyone has sort of stolen the black struggle in America, and which is a real struggle. 100%. They were categorically, institutionally discriminated against for-

Starting point is 00:45:16 And we handed that struggle out. Yeah. We handed it out to anybody, person of color. We handed it out to gay people. Now it's like everywhere. Yeah, we handed it out. It's like everyone saying, you're like, no, you're not.

Starting point is 00:45:25 Yeah, come and get it. You have it better here than you have anywhere else. Come and get it. Yeah. Everybody can come and sing spirituals now. Yeah. Yeah, no. It's disgusting.

Starting point is 00:45:33 Yeah. But what it is, is again, it's just like, just power factions, how to create, how to create a base of people that will give you power. And if you can create a group of people and unite them and say people of color, which just means everyone, which includes Asian people, which I never, they're really the same complexion I am.

Starting point is 00:45:52 So I never understood that. But whatever, and they don't really tan, some of them do. But I'm talking about Asian, Asian, not South, you know. But if you, there's this whole umbrella, people of color is just like, everybody that's not a white guy, get in the boat. And what they don't realize is all those people hate each other.

Starting point is 00:46:10 They all hate it. Japanese hate Filipinos. They call them the rats of Asia. I don't do that. They did that. All the Latin countries hate each other too. Everybody with the Philippines has had 90 tsunamis. No one cares.

Starting point is 00:46:23 They don't look at the money they raise. It's like we're proud to raise $600 for the Philippines. Nobody cares what happens to the Philippines. How much of this do you think is sort of the inculcation from like overly left-wing liberal arts institutions that have taught this sort of like oversimplified. A lot of it's that. The white man is this evil monolith

Starting point is 00:46:48 and all other people lived in peace until Vasco D'Gama got in a ship. You know what I mean? A lot of it is that. But a lot of it's such horseshit. A lot of lazy horseshit. It's pseudo-intellectual. People that don't know anything about the ancient history.

Starting point is 00:47:04 History starts in the colonial period. They don't know anything else. But the problem also is a lot of rich people have left the planet. Like they're looking at this planet like a guy looks at a Kmart. That he is basically just about to shudder. And he's staring at the people

Starting point is 00:47:26 that are all folding the clothes. And he's like, well, it's our last week guys. Hope you've enjoyed it. And he's going to his fucking summer house and it's done. That's the way they're looking at this planet. Wealthy people are done participating. They don't give a fucking more. And you're saying they used to.

Starting point is 00:47:41 They used to to an extent. They've looted. They've looted. They've basically said there's a few, there's some opportunities to make really big money and it's going to potentially tear the country apart. We don't care. We're not going to fund things like infrastructure.

Starting point is 00:47:58 Fuck that. Roads and bridges, good luck. Train systems, good luck. They don't give a shit. They don't care. These rich fucks are not in the subway. They don't give a shit. And if they do, they're taking ironically to have fun.

Starting point is 00:48:10 But they're in a car that's being driven over to Manhattan Bridge. They don't care. So they care about infrastructure. They don't care about healthcare. They don't care about people's healthcare. They don't care about people's retirement plans. They don't care about the solvency of state governments.

Starting point is 00:48:23 They don't give a shit. They just look at America as a big bank to cash out. They got investments all over the world. They're a global jet-set population. So why have they forgotten that these people will rise up and put their heads on bikes? Because everybody's 600 pounds. That's too slow to pick up a spike.

Starting point is 00:48:41 They're too fat to revolt. That's what it is. So every species needs a national, every species needs a natural predator. And poor people are the predator of rich people. 100%. But now those poor people are too fat to chase down those rich people.

Starting point is 00:48:58 They're too fat. So the rich people are getting too comfortable. And that's why we're getting all lopsided. We got buffalo mac and cheese. Buffalo mac and cheese for people. So they're not gonna get as angry. They're like, well, I... We got buffalo chicken pizza.

Starting point is 00:49:11 Oh yeah. We're fixing three types of fat foods. People, dude, they got foods that don't even make sense. You go to Denny's, listen to this. This doesn't even sound good. This doesn't even sound good. They have salted caramel, banana cream, pancakes. Salted caramel, banana cream, it doesn't even make sense.

Starting point is 00:49:29 Look at the drinks in Starbucks. You're like toast to banana, coconut, mocha, mint. It doesn't matter. And then if that's not good enough, you could chase those down with a few oxy cotton and really zone the fuck out. So the rich are no... They don't even look at us like human beings.

Starting point is 00:49:47 Now, rich people, I've read a lot about rich people. I do that fucking show about them on the tour bus. Their lives used to be similar to the lives of middle-class, like the schools that rich people would go to at one point were similar to the schools that the middle-class would go, like they were always better. But now it's completely different.

Starting point is 00:50:07 Everything's completely private, okay? They don't travel on public transportation at all. They don't care about the infrastructure of the city at all. They really don't care. Why does that happen? Why do you think that's happened? I think, well, the country has... Part of the reason you say is they're fat,

Starting point is 00:50:25 so they're not scared of them anymore. It's a joke, it might be true. It might be subconsciously true, at least. But part of it is that. I think part of it is also that the country has become a lot more diverse, okay? What unites this country, at one point, you had a group of people

Starting point is 00:50:43 that were all of a similar ethnicity, similar religions. Now you have, it's a global world. So you have people from all over the world collaborating with each other, competing with each other, making money with each other, and people, so you now have these small communities. So the whole national community anymore is not as viable,

Starting point is 00:51:06 because the things that used to unite that community, whether it was struggle, the Cold War, World War II, whatever it was, those things have gone away. So there's nothing that's an overarching theme that unites anybody anymore. Go to Louisiana, to the backwoods of Louisiana, then go to San Francisco, go to Portland, go to Rhode Island, Nisfa, why would this be a country?

Starting point is 00:51:24 You talk to all these different people. It's almost like you're in a different country. It's absolutely that case. So if you're very, very wealthy, your whole goal is to continue to make more money. So you can make money here, or you can make money somewhere else. And if they got natural gas in Kazakhstan

Starting point is 00:51:41 and that's the move, then guess what? You're going out to dinner with people from Kazakhstan. And then you don't give a shit about what's going on in America, what Americans need, because you're not making any money with Americans. You're not selling life cereal to Bob and Becky and their kids in Omaha. You're fucking talking a sheik

Starting point is 00:51:58 about how to pump some natural gas out of this rock. And you're going out to dinner in Manhattan or Miami? Hasn't that always been the case though, even like? To an extent. Even England. England went and, you know, their companies went and fucking East India Company. And look what happened to England now.

Starting point is 00:52:14 England's in decline. Oh yeah. And it's just a slow process of decline. That was a real empire. That was a real empire. That was a real empire. It's a slow process of decline, but these fuckers now do not look at America as a country.

Starting point is 00:52:26 They look at it as an opportunity to make money. It's a great line from a book that Nelson DeMille wrote. He goes, it's called The Gold Coast. He's a really rich guy. He goes, you know, I've been to, I've been to New York, I've been to Miami, I've been to Beverly Hills, because I've never been to America. Right.

Starting point is 00:52:41 Because I've never been to America. These fuckers don't give a shit about Canton, Ohio. They don't care. Now, the thing is they used to have to, they never really did, but they used to have to pretend to because their factories were here. Yeah, I get what you're saying. Their factories were there.

Starting point is 00:52:56 Or their tobacco farm, or their sugar crops. Or the people that they were selling shit to at least were there. Or their slaves. Right, right. Now, everything is global and basically the communities they create follow the opportunity, you know, follow the opportunity to make money.

Starting point is 00:53:10 Well, their factories are in China. Sure. Or Thailand, or Sri Lanka. Yes. So that kind of makes sense. 100%. So they care less about America because they have less money invested here.

Starting point is 00:53:21 All your kids can't go to college. Well, sorry. There's no more scene in Tommy Boyd where the guy gets up at the end and he's like, this factory, this whole town, dependent on this fact, there's none of that. There's none of that anymore. The people that own that factory sold it years ago,

Starting point is 00:53:36 they live outside of that town. They don't even go near that town. And Chris Farley's character is now doing H. So there's a hole in the balloon. And the air is pouring out. Very quickly. Yeah. It's seeping out.

Starting point is 00:53:50 It won't be out there by tomorrow. But what kept rich people in line was the idea that they had to have some type of civic virtue and social responsibility. To keep their money going. Yeah. When they needed to, you know, political connections, they needed all that.

Starting point is 00:54:07 And they still need all that stuff. But they were doing business in America. Their factories were in America. Their consumers were in America. But as the world has become global, and now technology is really leveled, you know, this, I don't want to say level the playing field, but it's enabled all kinds of partnerships

Starting point is 00:54:23 that didn't exist before. People are just looking after themselves. It's every man from self. There's this idea that everything is. You even feel that on the community level. Yes. There's no neighborhoods in the world. No, not at all.

Starting point is 00:54:35 People don't talk to their neighbors. They don't want to know. Nobody knows. Nobody cares. There's no neighborhood. No neighborhood. What's happened now is like you have to have something in common, a hobby in common.

Starting point is 00:54:45 That's how communities form. Yeah, you got. It's like we all have dogs. We meet at the dog park. Right. We're all liberal. Yeah. We're going to meet at the quinoa shop.

Starting point is 00:54:53 Yeah. You know, we're going to talk about it. Is Bob Mueller going to figure this out? Yeah. We all take. Come on, Bob. We all take 80 milligram oxy cotton. We go to the Wendy's parking lot.

Starting point is 00:55:01 We all live in old Hickory, Tennessee, and we just fucking were Christian and we don't like gays. Right. And that's it. So we have all these small communities. There's a book out there called Bowling Alone. I've never read it, but people bring it up. And they took a bit the death of the American community

Starting point is 00:55:17 and basically you just have a lot of lonely people. Interesting. That are out there, that are united by nothing. And then you have a lot of wealthy people that are just, it's a different world. You know, I know some wealthy families in LA. And it's a different world. They are not playing the same game everybody else is playing.

Starting point is 00:55:38 Yeah, no. I've smelled them. You know? I've been around them. You know. They smell different. You know. They smell like an anthropology store at all times.

Starting point is 00:55:44 When there's no passion. Yeah. They're very, they're passionless. It's very interesting. Yeah, but they got fine soaps. They got great soaps. Great soaps. But they don't like, it's very interesting when

Starting point is 00:55:56 you talk to them, you're like, oh, you're unaffected by everything. There's no like, there's no like, let me tell you. They're just like, well, you know, we just, you know. Yeah, they don't feel. They don't have passion. No, you can't. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:09 And that's why these idiots like, you know, these motivational speakers on Instagram, these Gary Vee, Gary Vaniers, chocolate people. They're evangelical preachers. Right. They're like capitalism evangelical preachers. Right. And they keep telling people, get it.

Starting point is 00:56:24 Go and get it. Go and drag it and fuck it and whatever. And listen, if you need to be told that, you're hopeless. Well, this is why it's a fucking sham. Yeah. Because all the things we're saying, this is what I think about that. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:37 Yeah, it's a sham because, like we were saying, we're not all equal. Right. If you find yourself being unhappy, maybe it's because you want to be Carson Daly and you're not. You're not going to be. You don't have his hairline. Right.

Starting point is 00:56:50 You don't have his family connections. Right. You don't have that sort of just even temper where he can just deliver boring shit. Who the fuck wants to be him? Yeah. Do you know who he sat down with and had to talk to? Exactly.

Starting point is 00:57:01 It's a nightmare. My point is maybe you're trying to be something you're not. Right. Like, why are you doing comedy? There's a lot of people who are doing comedy. I'm going, what are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:12 You're neither funny, business savvy, and aggressive or funny. Right. What are you doing? You have nothing. So this country now, this American dream that's being sold to people. Like, go out there and get it on your own.

Starting point is 00:57:24 If you're punching a clock, you're doing it wrong. You're working for somebody else. You're crazy shit. Punch that clock. It's like, look, there's nothing wrong with having a job. Yeah. Not everyone's going to be a fucking wine entrepreneur. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:36 Not everyone's going to be a fucking podcaster. It's OK to have a normal job. You don't have to find happiness in being an entrepreneur and fucking going out there and getting it. You've got to be your own boss. No, you don't. How about finding some happiness? How about finding some happiness in your family

Starting point is 00:57:50 and your friends? Yeah. Start playing chess, get a dog, you know? You don't have to be your own boss. Let me tell you right now, you don't have to be your own. There's a lot of people in jail right now waiting execution that we're their own boss. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:01 I know. There's this, we look down on that. Like, because the American dream is all about like, come on, man, start your shit. It's like, that guy can't start his shit. Right. Do you know what it takes to be Steve Jobs? It's a lot.

Starting point is 00:58:14 You know what it takes? You have to look at your daughter and go get the fuck out of my thing. Yeah. I got shit to do. Yeah. I got a phone, you know? It takes a combination of brains, a whole from being adopted

Starting point is 00:58:25 and just an evil streak. Yeah. That a lot of people don't have. A lot of people don't have that evil streak. No, you better go and get evil. Yeah, the best, the best, the most successful people are usually good and then they got an evil streak. Like they started in their underwear, just a streak of shit.

Starting point is 00:58:41 Yeah. Yeah. Just a little streak. Just a streak. What do you think, final question? I love when you come on because it's always so happy. It's always so happy. We're two optimists.

Starting point is 00:58:52 You know, we're two optimists, but I think it is optimistic. Dare I say utopians. I cannot have lunch with someone anymore unless they fully understand that we're on a sinking ship. And if they do, I think we can have so much fun. But if they think that the ship's going to turn around and everything's going to be great, I find myself dealing with someone

Starting point is 00:59:11 who I would consider to be mentally ill. Yeah. Because if you look at all the evidence and you think that we're going to right all the wrongs, it doesn't mean you shouldn't try and you shouldn't do the right thing by people. But all these people on Twitter are talking about compassion. They haven't spoken to your brother in a year.

Starting point is 00:59:27 So it's a lot of people that are fully shit. Yeah. And that is the that's the that's the norm now. Yeah. I mean, it is it is just just it is an orgy of bullshit. Yeah. People are and that's what the internet has done. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:59:45 People actually believe they are who they say they are online. Oh, it's great. You're not a great person because you posted an article or you retweet it. You know, it's like you're going to brunch. You're posting an article like resistance. And you're like, OK, are we going to get bloodies? Right.

Starting point is 00:59:58 Like you don't care. Right. And stop backing so much like you do. It's everyone. It's this whole thing. Nobody wants to have flaws anymore. If you have a flaw, they try to like take your whole career away. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:10 If you say one wrong thing, if you mess up, if you show that you're human at all, this mob who that has formed and they're all the mob, the whole the whole thing supporting the mob is this bullshit that the mob is this purity fucking group. Right. It's like that seeming game of thrones, not the full circle. Right.

Starting point is 01:00:29 But remember when that fucking that that zealot took over the city? Yeah. That's what social justice warriors are. And you don't like those zealots. Are you a fan of thrones? Yeah, it's a good show. It's a great show. It's a great.

Starting point is 01:00:40 But I don't remember the plot lines. Yeah. Who cares? Like if you tell me what was what happened season three or four, I don't remember the dude. If you do remember what happened on season three of Game of Thrones, you're in a crisis. You're in a crisis.

Starting point is 01:00:52 I agree crisis. Yeah, you're paying. I don't even remember. I don't even know what you could tell me season three. You could tell me the plot of a whole another fantasy novel and I go, oh, great. Was that it? What do you want to see happen?

Starting point is 01:01:06 Because then I'll tell you what I would like to see happen at the end of the show. Is there anything that you'd like to see happen? Well, in the world, what I would like to see happen is people figure it out. Well, I'm a John Steinbeck guy. No, I don't care. I think against the lads, we can do it. I've been talking about Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones.

Starting point is 01:01:22 I wanted to preface it with that. OK, because I felt like we were a little too fucking negative. So I hope I believe in the human spirit. Yeah, on Game of Thrones, what I'd like to see happen on Game of Thrones, my favorite character is Tyrion. Great. Yeah, he's my favorite guy. But this season has destroyed him. He's a fucking idiot.

Starting point is 01:01:42 Now he's a good person. He's not banging any whores. You know how fun it was to watch a dwarf climb on a normal sized girl and fucking drink wine and he was smart and witty. And now he's just like this fucking. He's not he's not scheming. He's a cock. Right. He's a cock for the dragon lady.

Starting point is 01:01:58 So sad. And he's stupid. He keeps making all the wrong fucking decisions. Right. All of a sudden, he cares about the people. He cares about Cersei and the baby and his brother. And so what I'd like to see is him get his fucking annoying dwarf head kicked off because that character has been ruined by TV writers. Right. That's what's happened. The first two episodes I liked and now it's just so clear that TV writers

Starting point is 01:02:22 are trying to wrap this thing up because the money orgy's over. The money orgy's over until the movie. What's HBO going to do when it's over? Till the movie, until the movie. Yeah, well, you know, that's how you that's how you you take it too far. That's like, of course, my big fact, Greek wedding, the sitcom. You shouldn't have done it. You shouldn't have done it. Walk with no one. The reason I like Game of Thrones

Starting point is 01:02:42 is because in the beginning of Game of Thrones, there was no real clear cut. Good guy. You didn't really know who you were rooting for or why. It was just things unfolding. It was very interesting. It was just different camps. And a lot of people fucking their family. Yeah, competing interest, everything like that. I wanted. I was I've been a supporter of Cersei Lannister for many, many years. A supporter of Cersei.

Starting point is 01:03:03 She knows what needs to be done to lead. Yeah, OK, a supporter of her for years. And seeing her get killed in the rubble of her building, I can only hope she finds a way to crawl out of there. I know she won't. I think her and Jamie are done. But God, do I want to see her on the Iron Throne? Because I don't want Game of Thrones to end with Jon Snow or Aria on Iron Throne

Starting point is 01:03:26 because, you know, it's just that happily ever after Disney's shit. The George R.R. Martin, I don't think really wanted. I think he wanted like, hey, amoral people can rise to the top and stay there for a long time. And they often do. They often do. Yeah. That was great about Game of Thrones. Yeah, it was realistic. It was realistic in that way. And now this season, we have Tyrion being like, but the people, the innocent people,

Starting point is 01:03:48 you know, that's why. That's my point. Like they all turned into these fucking fairy tale characters. I don't like it. It's fucking some L.A. writer's room where everybody's cucked out and drinking green juice. You can see it. You can it's so easy to sense. So I like that Daenerys did a genocide. I do like that.

Starting point is 01:04:03 Yeah, she did a Hillary Clinton on fucking Libya. I like that Daenerys did a genocide. And I was I would have been the guy in the writer's room and said, we need a genocide who I don't care who does it, but we need a genocide. So I was appreciative of that. Now, if anybody is going to be on the Iron Throne, I hope it's Daenerys because I want somebody who has the strength to commit a genocide to be on the throne, not the girl, the girl with the sword

Starting point is 01:04:29 or John Snow, who's back from the dead, which is a fucking, you know, I want an evil person to win. She's Stalin, basically. She's at the top right now. Well, you know, she's at the top now. Yeah. Going into this episode, we know she's at the top. If Cersei comes back out of that rubble, and I know she won't. But if she comes back and somehow wraps this thing up, I would be eternally grateful.

Starting point is 01:04:53 I know that executives listen to this show, not meaningful ones. I love you, Maureen. No, I'm kidding. But there are but there are, you know, man, I would just love this because I can tell you what's going to happen. The last scene is going to be John Snow, Aria and Sansa at the fucking Iron Throne, and I'm going to go, man, and then there's going to be a lot of losers out there that are like, oh, it's so safe.

Starting point is 01:05:17 They're nice. And I just hope that when that happens, Cersei walks in and cuts all their fucking heads off. Yeah. And she sits down on the throne and everybody looks at her and goes, you know what, I'm with her. And then makes her inbred, baby, just like the way they used to do it in Rome. Just the way all those rulers were inbred. Just a fucking good realistic in that way, too.

Starting point is 01:05:39 Inbred, small, like a like a malnourished boy king. Yeah. Like an inbred, weird, malnourished boy king who looks like he's, you know, eat bubblegum his entire life. And that's it. Where can people find you and your insights? If you comedy central. No, no, you're not going to find a comedy central.

Starting point is 01:06:02 No, no, unless you move to Canada. Yeah, they won't even let me put up the clips from the half hour special. Now they're taking those down. They'll take you to court. They take you to court. They take the comedian, the court. They'll take it to court. That's hilarious, by the way.

Starting point is 01:06:14 Yeah, I just tried to put one up and it got taken down. They're going to come up. They weren't doing that. Now they're doing that. Wild. Yeah. So look, it's 2019. You just put my name into the Google search. That's it. It's pretty easy.

Starting point is 01:06:26 That's it. Yeah. Netflix, what Netflix? Yeah, what do you find me on the Andrew Schultz network? Right. That's right. That's where you can find folks. I got a special coming out. Yeah, this is huge. Yeah, I talk about.

Starting point is 01:06:39 Yeah, Andrew Schultz produced a special and we're going to put it up on YouTube and it's going to be free. I'm giving it away and it's just stay tuned for it. It's called Blowing the Light. It's shot. We're editing it and I'm free. I'm just giving it away. Free special. Yeah, free special.

Starting point is 01:06:55 Free, free. That's it. It's going to be free. And then you're going to go by tickets. You'll go buy tickets. Go buy tickets to Sam. Out of this business. Yeah. So what it is.

Starting point is 01:07:05 I'm at Laugh Boston this weekend. I would appreciate if you would tell your friends there or not. I'll watch the Bruins game or the Red Sox game. Yeah. To opt out of those two sporting events is our sports a big deal there. I don't know. And come over and see me talk about my aunt. So I would I would appreciate that Tim Dillon comedy dot com.

Starting point is 01:07:28 Go subscribe, rate, review this podcast LA is coming folks. We're about done here. We're wrapping it up. It's over. We've had enough. The subway doesn't work. Ubers is seventy five dollars to get over the bridge. The infrastructure is buckling.

Starting point is 01:07:44 It's raining every day now. It's a tropical hellscape and it's about to be humid, sticky and disgusting. You'll find daddy in Beverly Hills, eating a pokeball, eating a pokeball and Beverly fucking hills do not approach me with anything real. If you say anything real to me, I will look at you like you're insane. You come to me with a pretend idea of what you think life should be. I will validate that and we will you will stay on your way. I bet you they won't even recognize you because you're going to be slim.

Starting point is 01:08:14 I'm going to be drinking a green juice and I ain't going to be funny. But I'm going to be fucking a cult of personality. You're going to subscribe and like and rate and review and show up to hear what I have to say. And you know what I'm going to have to say? Not a goddamn thing, but it's not going to matter because you don't have anything to say either. We're just going to we're just going to sit in the same room and stare at each

Starting point is 01:08:34 other and that's fine because we only got what? Seventy eighty years on this fucking floating rock. Yeah, it doesn't matter. No, that doesn't matter. Don't be a comedy snob folks. It doesn't matter. Could anything be less? All these people that write about comedy.

Starting point is 01:08:47 Could anything be less useful than critiquing a clown? I mean, it's really crazy. Can you imagine why are they writing about comedy in the New York Times? Well, why? Because they because they what's going on because they can't write about anything else would take research. Let's just be honest. Journalism is in crisis over.

Starting point is 01:09:04 It's in crisis over. That's really the crux of the my father. Donald Trump has pretty accurately said the media is the enemy of the people. I hate to say that because I know people are going to get mad at me. But with Covington and Jussie and all these fucking things, you start realizing, oh, these people don't care about the truth. Neither does Trump. Well, you let me either do that.

Starting point is 01:09:25 Let me just say this about Jussie Smollett, the real story, the real fascinating thing that everyone should be talking about. Nobody is. And what the what that is is that people believe that. Yeah, that the media wrote about that, that that's the age we live in. Someone can say this happened and it happened and immediately everyone, the top Gazettes are going, this happened. They don't wait for statements.

Starting point is 01:09:48 They don't care. They don't wait for evidence. They don't wait for anything. Nobody's going, whoa, whoa, whoa. This sounds weird. Reddit were like, well, we added up the time, everything. And it had to happen within nine seconds. Yeah, yeah. It was it was true because he said it. He said it.

Starting point is 01:10:02 That didn't used to be journalism because, you know, in New York and Chicago and LA, there's gangs of Trump supporters running around. I mean, how many of these hate crimes and I hate to say it turn out to be fake. Well, there's actually a lot of them turn out to be fake. There's that one journalist who's Andy Ngo. Yeah, he's somebody just attacked him the other day. I know he's been compiling them. He's got an interesting list.

Starting point is 01:10:24 They threw like a milkshake on him at a gym. Yeah. And they also, well, at a march, someone sprayed him with mace in the face. Right. Yeah. So see, this is the and people wonder, they go, why does the rich not care about because when Antifa and the Proud Boys, all these guys beat the shit out of each other in the streets, rich people love to adore that. Because what it'll just justify eventually is the martial law crackdown because normal people aren't doing that shit.

Starting point is 01:10:48 So when the rich people come out and go, hey, we need these robot dogs patrolling the street and we need everybody inside at 1130 because it gets a little hairy out there. Normal people go, you know what, I guess they're right. Yeah. Also, all these people think that like these little street skirmishers are the fucking answer because they think you're living in, I don't know, a Russian novel or something. At the end of the day, all it will justify is the ruling classes use of exorbitant amounts of violence because they will dole out violence like you cannot believe.

Starting point is 01:11:21 The violence that they will use against the population will will stun you. So when you look at all these people fighting in the street and doing all the shit in Portland, you don't know that that'll all just be used to justify some real bloody behavior. So keep it up. Yeah, keep it up. We'll see what happens. TimDillonComedy.com for all your comedy needs, buy tickets, Laugh Boston, Mohegan Sun coming up in June. Got American Comedy Company in San Diego will be in LA.

Starting point is 01:11:52 Podcast is doing it twice a month. I'm doing some bigger podcasts when I get out there too. Rate, subscribe, leave us a five store review. Tell your friends about this. Go follow Yana's Poppus. Yeah, I'll be at the Miami Improv June 14th and 15th. Yeah. And listen to History Hygienus with me and Chris. History Hygienus great show, Yana's Chrissy D amazing show.

Starting point is 01:12:13 And I'll see you fuckers from LA. My next episode, we're going to release Bennington next week. And then guess what, motherfuckers, I'm out. Next time I talk, you'll be FaceTime. It's going to be FaceTime and I'm going to be it's going to be famous time. Yeah. So I'm going to be in Los Angeles. Yeah. A place where if you have any of the discussions that we had today, people put you in a mental home.

Starting point is 01:12:38 It's true. They look that you can really only get away with conversation like this in New York can put you in a straight jacket there. But they will talk about a showrunner leaving. This is us. Yeah. But they won't talk about civilization unless civilization is a show on HBO. Yeah. Did that just almost burn down a couple of months ago? Like the whole thing was on fire.

Starting point is 01:13:00 It almost burned down. But when the city is hot, is a holy on some city area of Satan. It'll always find a way. Yeah. Maybe that's why I took a bath in flames because Satan got a little dirty and needed a bath. It's a city that shouldn't exist. But people forget the power of the dark Lord. All right, folks, good night.

The Tim Dillon Show - 148: 148 - Streak of Evil (with Yannis Pappas)

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