The Tim Dillon Show - 173: 173 - Shane Gillis

Episode Date: November 10, 2019

Shane Gillis joins Tim in New York to discuss the SNL controversy, and stick around for the 30 minute patreon teaser where Tim discusses his potential presidential campaign and how he would seduce David Hogg. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, I'm Timmy the Trash Can, and I love trash. Popcorn boxes, pops, and candy wrappers. Mmm, they all taste so good. Instead of throwing your trash on the floor, won't you please give it to me? Thank you for considering your fellow patrons. Hey everybody, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show, back in the old studio. The great guest digital, thanks to Luis Gomez and Ralph Sutton. Back here, Rogan did a podcast from the studio, so I said, you know what, I'm gonna fucking come in here and give him a real treat. We give him a real treat. You had Rogan Lang. Now you have Tim Dillon with Shane Gillis, very funny guy. We love him. You know him. SNL, they're not using you a lot this season. They will. They'll start. They haven't written me in yet.

They haven't written you in yet. Couple sketches that got cut. Do you think, and I know you can't really say any of this shit, but like, could you go on there and do like a bit? Yeah. Yeah. I think that, I doubt it though. I fucking, no. You know what I mean? Like a little, like a desk piece, an update, quick in and out. They all get to boo me and be like boo.

Something fun. Yeah, that's the thing. I don't think it would be that fun. Yeah. I think it would be fun. Right. Personally. Yeah. But I think, because I walked past, last week, I walked past the fucking-

The line? People sleep outside on Friday night. I'm sick. I always look at those people like, What's wrong with you? This city's got so much to do. I walked past them that night and like they all, you know, it's all these like weirdos with like a Saturday Night Live snow hat, like in a sleeping bag looking up from the street. And I walked by and they were like, No.

They recognize you? Yeah, they all, of course. Really? They all fucking knitted SNL scarves and shit. It was a- Yeah, so these are sick people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are sick.

Because I always look at a show like that and with a little due respect to everyone who works there, because there's one or two people on there that are funny. I always look at a show like that and I go, How does it have fans that are like the fervor of the fandom? I get watching it. I get being like, Hey, this is on. It's sketch comedy. And I think a lot of the fans of that show are casual fans of like this is the thing that's on Saturday night. Yes.

And listen, it's a historic- It's an important show throughout history and it's had some really amazingly funny stuff happen. But like in its current incarnation, it's interesting that there are people sleeping on the street. Yeah. Dude, I'm amazed that people are sleeping on the street to see anything. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the one thing that would make sense to me is sleeping on the street if like fucking Taylor Swift was there. Sure.

And you were about to see her in a really intimate setting. Intimate setting. But no, they were just S&L fans. And I walked past and this group of ladies, they were all ladies. A group of ladies were standing there and they were like, Oh, it's Shangela's. And like a couple of them were excited. And the one of them was just like gross and gave me the finger.

Really? And I looked back and I was like, Oh, you don't mean that. Come on. Can you imagine being that? Let me tell you right now, if I saw Bin Laden and let's say I buy the idea that he killed 3,000 people, maybe did maybe then. What do I know? What do I know?

What do I know? 11th grade. If I saw Bin Laden, like my friend's parents were incinerated. If I saw Bin Laden at a restaurant, I would be like, Ah, it's Bin Laden. Yeah, that's cool. It's cool. Like the idea that people are that angry at you. Yeah, yeah.

If I saw Bin Laden again, it's Bin Laden. Yeah. It's Bin Laden. What's he about? It's like, if I saw a fucking OJ, I'd be like, Oh, I love him. I do see OJ. I don't see him see him. But I know where he hangs.

I love OJ. I've said he's the only motivational speaker that anyone should follow. That's true. Because he's... What a comeback. He's lived a full life. You know what I mean? Like OJ Simpson has really...

People have done it all. No, you haven't. Heisman. Have you? Heisman. Cut someone's fucking head off. Decapitated his wife and her fuck boy. Got away with it.

Got away with it. Walked. Went back to jail. Went back. Somehow fucked himself that way. You know? Yeah. He is a guy...

And I... He look... He's the healthiest person on Twitter. He's out golfing. He's giving advice. I was the most well adjusted person. He gives advice. He's golfing.

He's like, watch the drive. I always watch his videos. He looks good for his age. He seems happy. Yeah. I mean, he's true. That is true. Do you laugh at the hate now?

I know there was a time when you're obviously like, you're in it and you can't laugh at it as much. I spoke... I was laughing. You were kind of laughing at it. Threw out. Were there death threats? They're not real though.

No, they're not real. Right. They're not real. So I knew that. I was never worried about death threats. Except at night. Like before you go to sleep. Then it's like...

Then you start thinking. Then you lock that fucking door. Yeah. Like, oh man. But no, death threats I didn't give a fuck about. Most of them were pretty funny. Like if someone would DM me just like, you fucking fat racist pig piece of shit. I love it.

I'd have to... Like I'd be walking around and read that. It's so funny. What the fuck? Yeah, that's so funny. Yeah, a lot of it was really funny. And then even today they did a fucking story Judd Apatow talked about me. And well, they asked him about me.

And he... Right. Truthfully, he like responded really nicely. Okay. Like a measured response. Yeah. Where he was like, I don't know him. So people said he was doing a character.

I don't know, whatever. Right. But the fucking title of the article is like, SNL cast member fired for saying Judd Apatow was gayer than Isis. And it's still funny. How do you not laugh? Like, does he not laugh? How do you not laugh?

You're in a headline. It's still funny. How do you not laugh at that? I don't know how you don't laugh at that. I guess there... I guess Judd Apatow... I guess I'll... I get how he doesn't fucking really laugh at that.

I don't know. If I had the money that Judd did and somebody said you're gayer than Isis, I would go... Like who? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Think of what people deal with. Maybe he did respond that way. Yeah. Maybe he was like, yeah, who gives a fuck?

Who is that? I just... What he should have done. It's interesting that people... Because it's interesting that anyone's... Like, I get the Twitter mob, but anyone actually being mad, like, seeing it on the street and being like, grabs. Yeah.

That's hilarious. That's crazy. I... When I looked back at her and I was like, oh, you don't mean that. Like, everyone kind of laughed and she smiled. Yeah. It was like a fun... It's a fun thing.

Publicly shaming. It's a fun public shaming. People get a good kick out of it, you know? Is it weird? Have you seen any comics? You don't have to name their names when you're certainly welcome to. Have you seen any comics that threw you under the bus that it's awkward that you're near? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Right. Like, uh... Yeah. There's Lori Kilmartin. Yes. I do.

She threw me under the bus a little on Twitter. Lori just once, yeah. But she did. Yeah. She did a show with me at the stand, came up after and was like, my bad. I didn't know. She was like, I didn't know you were actually kind of funny. Lori is funny and nice, but like, she sat down at breakfast with me and Big J and we were

discussing the Nat and like, Lori was like, oh, did you guys not like it? And I'm like, oh, you don't know any... Like, we've never met clearly, like... But no, she was actually cool about it. She was one of the... Well, that's good. But she did it, you know, privately, not publicly. Yeah.

Well, that's what a lot of people do. She'd on me on Twitter and then privately. A lot of people, the videos that I make, a lot of people will actually message me and go, that is so funny, but they will never retweet it because they'll never... Because we do some wild shit and they'll never retweet it. Yeah. They just go, oh, yeah, it's funny. Well, that's how it's always been.

Behind... Yeah. When I went out to LA and went on all these fucking general meetings, I'd go in there and I'd be like, I think Louis is the fucking best. Right. And every agent and fucking Hollywood person was like, yeah, he is. Yeah. But we can't, you know.

Yeah. Like every one of them. So behind closed doors, everybody knows what's funny. Well, that's what it is. It's like, and I think a lot of people that make a lot of big money, they got it. They got it. I realized that I value freedom over money. Yeah.

So like, I want to be able to say what I want to say and if people are gonna not like it, that's okay, but I don't know if there's enough money. I literally realized this. And I'm like, I don't know if there's enough money to get me to shut up. It's just too hard. It's too hard. It's too hard just for me personally. And by the way, that makes me an idiot.

That doesn't make me... I'm not be like, I'm a revolutionary. I'm too stupid. Like I don't get, because there should be enough money to make me shut up. There should be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There should be, but I just don't know how to do it. I wouldn't know how to do it.

Yeah, it's hard. Yeah. It's definitely hard. And that's what you and a lot of people don't realize. You could have went out and did a mea culpa and went, I was, there's never been an excuse to die. And I am ashamed of myself and I hate, but you didn't do it. No, I was, I was asked to do that.

You were asked to do it. And yeah, I couldn't, not because I was, I was like fucking sorry about some things. Like, sure, I didn't want to fucking hurt anybody's feelings. Of course. I wouldn't want those words written like that. Yeah. Like that's not how I fucking said it or what the tent was behind it. I mean, and it didn't hurt a lot of people.

I mean, that's what these Hong Kong protests are about. Yeah, they're fired up. It's about your podcast. It is nothing to do with the extradition treaty. That's a cover. It's a hurt a lot of people. Hurt a lot of people. Yeah.

I, yeah, I don't, I mean, even saying that, I feel fucking corny. I don't even know if I really hurt too many people. Well, listen, here's the deal. I think anything that we say, listen, this is what people don't understand about comedy. And I, and it's because they're not funny or they're, they don't understand like the way that funny works. You cannot control how anyone takes a joke. Like I text people and I go, are they going to get what I'm doing?

Yeah. No, they're not. I'll text somebody and I'll be like, I don't even, does this person hate me now? Yeah. I'm texting a YouTube kid I'm kind of friends with, friendly with. Yeah. And I text him jokes and like, I don't know if he gets it. Yeah.

I doubt it. But you, you, did you think to yourself, if I, if I apologize, I will for the rest of my life be owned? Yes. Yeah. For sure. I was like, well, also if I apologize for this and say like this was inexcusable, they're going to find fucking way worse.

Yeah. They're going to be like, what about this? Way worse. What about this? Yeah. I was like, oh, well that was also an excuse. Well, that was also an excuse. Well, and then when I'm done apologizing like that, what can I do?

I can imagine them being like, you know, Mr. Dylan, did you make a joke about pedophilia? Yes. Did you dress up as a temple from a pedophile island? Yes. Yes. That was inexcusable. Yeah. I do apologize for that.

What I always say about your situation, I'm like, Shane Gillis got fired so that none of us can get hired. And I appreciate it. My agent called me the day it happened with you and went, well, we can kiss us and I'll goodbye. I was like, I didn't even know we were in contention. He's like, we weren't. But just in case you ever thought that.

I don't fucking know. I was in contention. Yeah. But what's great about, what I love about your thing is like, there's part of comedy. And the good part of it is like sports, right? Like there's like, there's, there's definite winners and losers. And like when you, when you watch somebody on stage crush, you're like, they're fucking winning.

They might not have the comedy you like. They might, but as long as they're doing their own shit or whatever, it's like, it's a win. It could be an ugly win. It might not be a win. You agree with it to win. And you, well, people don't understand about that process, that audition process. It's a fucking hard process.

It gets in a lot of people's heads and to make it through that and to get the fucking job says something. And there's a lot of people that were probably angry at you. Number one, because they knew that they could not make it through that process. Yeah. They didn't even get selected for the process, but it's, it's like, what can you talk about what the process is? Yeah.

I can talk about my process. Yeah. I, yeah. I went, they saw me at JFL. Right. And they were like, we want you to come in and test. So then you go in and you fucking audition on the main stage. And what is that?

What is that audition? Um, usually you have to do like characters and impressions and shit. Right. But I think now they've loosened it to where like, if you're a stand up, you can just do stand up. Okay. So I just did five minutes of stand up. And you're doing it to who?

Uh, table of writers in that whole fucking empty studio. In the whole big SNL studio. It's a table of Ryan Michaels. Lauren. Yeah. I remember fucking solemn. Yeah. He's a king.

He's a king maker and right. Yeah. And when you get there, you don't, you wait in the green rooms or like the, the, uh, fucking cast members rooms. Right. So you're just in there waiting. Right. For like two, three hours while every single person there auditioning goes through.

And that, that's what gets in people's heads. That gets in people's heads. That gets in your head. Cause this is the job in comedy. It's intentional. That's why they do it is to see if it gets in your head. Right. Cause it's a live show.

They put it on Saturday night. It's live. So if you can't handle pressure or if you buckle, you can't be on the team. And I was sitting there thinking like, there's zero fucking chance. I get this. Right. So I literally, I was like, okay, whatever. You just having fun.

They didn't give a fuck. Right. Just sitting in there. Best attitude to have. Dipping. Fucking chewing tobacco in the back. Packin' a lip. Yeah.

I had a lip in. I was just sitting there and then, uh, when they, when they brought me in though, that's when it really fucking hit. Yeah. It's just a separate green room where you sit while the other person before you is on and they're like, all right, you got five minutes and then it's like, oh fuck, fuck. And it's not like people are killing because there's just a, you can't even see anybody else.

Right. You couldn't see the room until you walk in. Right. I didn't even see the stage until I walked onto the stage. Right. So then you walk out in front of everybody and it's this big empty room with two cameras. All right. And they give you the fucking camera guy goes three, two, you say your name and go.

Right. And then you just get the fuck off the stage after you did the set where you like, this is good. After I did the set, well, I'd heard you're not like, people don't laugh, right? But they laughed the whole time. Okay. So I was like, oh, yeah, I think that's, this could. Yeah.

And then when I, you know, I got the callback and I was like, fuck, I got it. And was it, what was the callback? It was just to come in and meet all the writers and shit and producers. Crazy. It was crazy. And everybody was cool. Everybody was great. It was a fucking awesome.

It was genuinely an awesome experience. It all worked out. And that's why you have dreams because, yeah, but that's, that's a while process. And I've heard a few people have gone through that and I know some people have, have not had the auditions they've wanted to have. And some people have had good auditions and it's just still for whatever reason didn't work. Yeah.

Well, also the thing is, is like, I, I mean, don't get me wrong, Saturday Night Live is fucking awesome. Of course. As soon as I got it, I was like, fuck, yes. Yeah. But that was never on the agenda. Like I, I was just, right. I knew I did this.

Right. So I knew I was never going to be fucking mainstream like that. Yeah. I would have to, I just wanted to do stand up. Yeah. It's interesting that we, you know, I feel like a few years ago, none of that was a consideration because nobody was doing like we, we were all kind of just waiting for people to give us a job.

Yeah. Right. It's a check. And now, now that's a little different, um, I don't, I don't know. I, I, it sucks that everything is this fucking fractured. Yeah. Because I look at people that are talented, that I think are very funny, but then I'm like, because I do this and I'm in this camp.

Yeah. And they're in that other camp and I'm like, could we ever collaborate or work together because you're like over there and you think I'm like, you know, in this camp of alt-right podcasters, which is completely insane and ridiculous. And I think all of them, like those guys are social justice warriors, but that's also insane and ridiculous. Of course. Like everybody's kind of afraid of each other, which is what it's like.

Yeah. It sucks. I feel like they bully us, you know? Yes. If I see them in public, I'm like, oh, fuck, they're going to, you know, he, some of these comics with complete impunity could walk up to me at a comedy club and be like, you piece of shit. Right.

And everybody would be like, yeah, that's, he's allowed to say that to you. Yeah. Or she's allowed to say that to you. It's like, okay. Have you had an incidence like that where people, somebody's been hostile openly? Uh, no. Right. No.

It's mostly passive aggressive. It's like, as they say in like hip hop, it's like it's on wax. Yeah. It's not real. It's not real. This isn't real. Same thing with Twitter. Yeah.

All the shit. All the shit talk. Kind of goes away. Yeah. It's hard though. It's hard to stop looking. It's hard to stop looking at shit talk. Yeah.

I try not to read YouTube comments or Reddit comments or any of that stuff, but you kind of kind of get back into that fray. Yeah. Did you have any friends in your hometown that were happy because I would have friends like my friend would be like, yeah, whoa, fuck it. Like I would, most of my friends would be happier that I was in an embroiled in a national scandal than me getting a job because I'm from Long Island. So like as now they'd be like, whatever national scandal, they'd be like, fuck yeah, yo, you

see Tim? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like that, you know. Yeah. Definitely had that.

Yeah. Definitely had. Yeah. I mean, fucking comic friends were like that. Right. There's definitely like, there's a level of like. People who own this network were like that. Yeah.

So I'm not shitting on it. Yeah. Or at least I had it. Hopefully I lost it a little, but where you kind of fucking, if you're not succeeding. Yeah. When someone else succeeds, you're like, well, and then when they get fucking brought down, you're instantly like, I'm here for you. Well, it also validates what a lot of people believe it's a shitty thing, but a lot of people

are like, you know, like a lot of people believe that the path we've all taken is the path and nobody, none of us will have mainstream success. And then when somebody does, we're like, oh, fuck. And then when somebody is yanked away, we're like, see, and it's, you know, I get it. It's not even, you know. It'd be funny. If it happened to anybody else, I would definitely be laughing also. I was laughing and it happened to me.

It was kind of funny the whole time. It was one of those things. I, listen, one of the reasons I was going so hard on Twitter against a lot of this shit is like, I tend to view it all as like all of these people tweet about mental health every day and how important is self care. And then they're trying to tweet you out of a window. They're trying to tweet you to kill yourself. And it, to me, like the hypocrisy is so deep and thick as, as a comic, I look at it and

I'm like, this is wild. You guys are the tolerant ones that all these comics that are exactly that are these super tolerant, like woke fucking nice, all these things, they're the meanest fucking people I know. Yeah. Like Aaron Berg's the man. Yeah. He's a sweet guy.

He's a sweet guy. And then you'll run into like a fucking gay writer from some show that's just a dickhead that are angry. Yeah. Well, the thing that happened with the gay comedy scene, and I don't know when it happened and I'm not a huge part, I'm not at all a huge part of it. Yeah, I always forget. I'm no part of the gay comedy scene.

And it's not, they just have no interest in me. I don't have a huge interest in them, but it's an insular scene. It's spun off from the alt scene. I will say this in the queer comedy scene in New York, there's a little bit of talent, whereas in the alternative comedy scene, there's no talent. So it's a much better, it's a little, it's, but there's, there's something going on now where people see that the route to success is to, to brand themselves as somebody with the right opinions and, and, and the right opinions on your thing were like that.

What you do is hate speech or what we do, lesionist skanks, like these guys are hate speech, Skankfest or Charlottesville. By the way, if they'd ever been near Skankfest, they would, they would know that that's absurd, but none of them have because they're in this little scene and they don't go out and they don't know anybody and they don't know us. And to me as a gay person, it was never interesting to me to just do a little scene of people in the East Village and entertain each other and entertain our friends. I didn't want to do that.

I wanted to entertain as many people as I could because I'm a comic and that's my job. But I think the way that they, so they look at me and they're like, oh, this is a guy with the wrong opinions. Yeah. Like Tim, you're like Ben Carson. Yeah. I'm like a Ben Carson. What the hell is he doing on that side?

Yeah. I think, but they all still respect me that I'm funny and I can do well in the rooms they work in because I worked those roads. So there's no argument. They can't say that I'm not funnier, that I can't do well in Brooklyn because I can do well in all that shit. But I just, I'm a little, I think they look at me and they're like, well, we don't really know where he stands or we don't like where he stands or whatever.

But again, some of them messaged me privately. But what they don't realize is that the woke snake just eats itself. Totally. It'll eat itself. And what I liked, gay guys used to pride themselves in being like tough, cynical, mean, catty, vicious. And then now they're moralists in this new and drag queens are moralists and it's boring. It's boring.

The morality please is boring. That's why your aunt Cheryl is not a comedian. You know, it's like, cause you know, she's like, Jesus saves you like, that's nice. Thank you. Yeah. Keep baking. That's fine. But nobody's going to pay money to see you in a nightclub, Cheryl.

Like, so to me, seeing that, seeing, I mean drag queens, when you talk about politically correct shit, they used to say the most fucked up shit. Some of it was brutally, brutally funny. So insanely. I'm busy. And now it's like, they're afraid to say anything and it's like, who wants a politically correct drag queen? Who wants a six foot three guy dressed up in a dress with a crazy wig?

Who's like the most important thing is to vote Democrat is to vote for Elizabeth Warren. It's like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah. Yeah. Party line. Yeah. He's got a little dick like that. I don't know if I would do that.

Well, you wouldn't do it. But if I saw drag queen, not making, I want race humor. I want low brow humor from a drag queen. I want low brow, not even good, not even particularly good, but just funny, like funny, like what the fuck am I even hearing humor from a drag queen? I don't want like some moral crusade. It would be insane. Like if Nanette was a drag queen, that would have been insane.

That's special for her to walk out. And you know, I, you know, but I think it'll, it swings one way, it swings the other way. And some of those people are talented or whatever, but it is kind of funny that, you know, it is what it is. And some of those guys, you know, I'm messaging privately and they'll message me back. They'll be like, Oh, you're very funny. You know, one of them was like, I really enjoy your work or whatever. And then I'll be like, Oh, cool.

But again, there will be no public acknowledgement of that ever. Yeah. I mean, a public, you know, Lewis is a sweet guy. People don't realize that Lewis Gomez is actually a good person. He is. He's a good father. Yeah. He's like a good dude.

I know a lot of woke people who've done nothing for their kids. Lewis is like a good dude. And I think that that like fucking people don't understand that either. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Well, he is shitty though, too. No, he's very shitty.

He's very shitty. He's shitty and good. I love him. You know, he's a shitty, good man guy. Yeah. Um, but he's not a bad guy. No, these people think he's a hateful, bad guy. Yeah.

But now he's, he's doing that fucking thing with the glasses and the muscle. Well, he looks like Hunter S. Thompson if he didn't read or write. Yeah. It makes no sense. Yeah. It's, it's not good to have a look.

If you're like, yeah, but if you're getting branded right wing, don't have a particular look. Well, he just leans in. I mean, if they brand him as a furry, he'll walk around dressed like a rabbit. You know what I mean? Like he just leans in. If they were like, Lewis is a furry. He'd be like, what up, doggies?

Just with a big, you know, dog ears flopping around. I mean, he would, he would lean into it. Are you, um, Matt and Shane secret podcast, you still do that all the time? Yeah. Is that he's still in Philly. He's good. He's in Philly. He's having a kid and everything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What, how often? And Philly's two hours away. Yeah. So yeah, it's the best. It's easy to drop down. Healyam is one of the best clubs ever. It is.

Yeah. I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did I work with you there? No, we did MacGooby's. We did MacGooby's. I was with McKeever at Healyam. He's a monster.

He's a monster, man. John McKeever. He was a monster. John McKeever was great. He featured and, uh, and then Chris O'Connor, Chris O'Connor hosted. Those are my guys. And we had a lot of fun. And then I was with Chris in, uh, meet Chris O'Connor.

But Chris O'Connor is like crazy. He's like a guy that looks super normal. And he's a nightmare. He's a nightmare, which is why I like him. Well, he's like my best friend. I love him, but he's not. He has some good stories for you. I got, I'm going to expose him here.

Go ahead. But he, me and him walked into a prison. We walked into a maximum security prison in North Carolina. Like he's like, I threw it out as a joke. I'm like, dude, we should walk in this prison and offer to do a comedy show there. I want to see, and Chris is like, dude, yes. And I'm like, bro, what do we? And we walk into the prison and offered to do like a comedy show for the inmates

because we wanted to see the prison. That's how insane O'Connor is that type of guy. Like he's a guy. He walks around in like a Patagonia jacket. Yeah, a north face thing. He's like clean cut. He's from Connecticut, but then just inside, he's just unhinged. Right.

Just totally. Yeah. He's out of his mind. He's wild. This is how wild he is. Yeah. This is a story he's told before, so I don't feel bad. Tell me, me and him did healing in Indianapolis.

Yeah. While I was asleep, I came home late. Yeah. In the hotel room, me and him shared a hotel room. I was passed out drunk. He got a hooker to come in. Great. Six in the morning when I got in, he woke up and was like, oh, fuck,

I should get a hand job, called a hooker, a hand job, got a hand job in the bathroom while I was asleep. And she let like, that's the type of that's an insane hooker for a hand job. It was insane move. And the hooker was afraid of me. Like she walked in was like, you didn't mention. Yeah. Well, you look like you're about you're you look like you're going to

disembowel her. She locked the door when they got to the bathroom. A hooker walking in a room doesn't want to see you or me unannounced. No, just they want to be prepared. They don't want to walk in and just see just some guy being like, oh, hello, where's the party? Yeah. And he tried to hide it.

Yeah. He tried to hide it from me, but when I went to the bathroom in the morning, the lotion was all over the counter. I was like, what are you doing paying for a hand job in Indiana? Great point. 200 maybe 200 max to get her over there. 200 max to just get her over there. God.

Yeah. Do you? Sorry, sorry, sorry, Chris. Chris O'Connor loves hookers. Great guy. He's a good guy. Yeah. Got 100,000 people listen to this, you know, go follow Chris.

Tell him that there's nothing wrong that he likes prostitutes. Yeah, dude, sex workers are people. Sex workers are great. Yeah. And I'm pro sex worker. I live in Los Angeles. The majority of people, like you look at couples in restaurants and you're like, this is just long, long.

Listen, I fucked Chris, my bad. There's, yeah, we got good. We got, we blew up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This show's done, done very well. Well, it started before that. It started with Arch of Fear talking a lot of shit and then calling me and telling me to take it off the thing.

Thanks. Oh, I remember that right here. Yeah. And so that started the bump and then the bump just got bigger and bigger than Rogan, obviously huge. Me and Chris DiStefano and Yanis Papas just did a two hour podcast that we, we don't know if we can release because we just want wild and started in a loving way, shitting on other comics, as a joke, because it's fun.

You're getting in front of this. Because it's fun and it's like, you know. Yeah. But. And I use your example towards the end. I was like, why should we censor ourselves? None of them, they went after Shane and they go after this. And these people say, uh, everybody's this and Louis are rapists and none of them

censored them, you know, but then at the end we were like, still, we were like, probably Chris was like, yeah, we shouldn't put it out. Yeah. I've had a bunch of those and they still got me. Yeah. That was the fucking watered down shit. Why didn't you do you think I have already moved somebody? Do you think if there wasn't video to this, it wouldn't have, somebody told me

that an interesting theory, they're like, if it wasn't video, it might not have been as big. Yeah. I don't, I don't know. I don't know the whole time. I was like, like leading up to it. I had like, I had like a month or like a week to be like, should I fucking delete everything?

Yeah. And you didn't, I didn't delete it. I deleted a good chunk of our podcast, just the audio of it. Just cause I, there was some shit on there of like me shitting on comics. Right. That like now I'm friends with. Right. So it's from me in a basement in West Philly, just resentful.

Yeah. Talking shit on, like I was doing open mics in Philly. Right. And I was like, oh, I'm not getting this because I'm a fucking straight white man, straight Alex Jones shit. And then as soon as I moved to New York, I got everything immediately. Right. And I was like, all right, well, maybe I was kind of being a pussy.

Delete. Straight white thing. Right. And, uh, yeah, I, so I got rid of that stuff where I was like shitting on comics that I like. Do you know who found it and sent it to this? No, somebody told me this though. Last night.

I could find that out. Yeah. He told me some kid last night told me it was a Philly, Philly open. It had to be that leaked it to, yeah. It had to be somebody that didn't like you. Yeah, I forgot to ask the kid. He has them. Yeah, he could tell me who it was.

Yeah, it makes sense. The fucking, the same fracture that happened here happened in Philly when I was there where all the woke kids, well, no, I don't know what hell else to fucking describe them. Uh, there was just, we'll say bad comedians, but there is a thing. Not all of them are like, there are talented people that are just insane now that, and I think a lot of them are people that are like, a lot of the interesting, at least like they're rich, white, straight guys in LA that have

been at the top of that. And they're like, they're like, gotta work extra hard because they're like, I'm going to retain my position. So I got to fucking really. Yeah. There was one lady that literally fucking, she tweeted out that I called her the N word, right? Cause she said I called her a sand N word.

That's not true. I was like, this is great. So what part of the bid is that? I was like, that's a really aggressive crowd war at helium. I ran into one of her friends and I was like, well, what the fuck was that? Like, are we just lie? Oh, yeah. And she was, this is how she literally responded.

This is the type of people we're dealing with. She was like, uh, well, just cause she wasn't telling the truth, doesn't mean she was lying. Yeah. And I was like, it fucking does cause she tweeted my name out and said, I called her the N word. That's crazy. Yeah, man.

It was fucking wild. So wild. The fracture and Philly happened and fractured and Philly happened like it did in most places when Trump won, right? Trump won all those, the fucking harmony kind of broke and they needed to get somebody. Right. They felt compelled to be like, this is how we fight this power.

And they just would attack like me. Yeah. You know, and, uh, yeah. Do you think, do you think that like your personal relationships with any of them impacted that? Totally. Do you think like when you look back, where you're like, man, I, maybe I could have been nicer to some of them or I could have been a little bit worse.

Of course. Yeah. I mean, we, we, we're in the same scene. Sure. We're doing the fucking three mics a week together. I'm not really nice to be bleepish. I'm getting drunk and getting on stage and being like, look, there's a decent chance I'm the only one here talented enough to do this.

I mean, I did that every night. Every night I would get up and say, everyone should quit. I still do that. I do that to millionaires. Uh, I, I would get up and say everyone should not do this. Yeah. Cause I thought it was funny and I also believed that every word I was saying was funny, it's very funny and accurate.

So, but yeah, I, so I know that there's people out there that aren't there. They hate it. They get really resentful. If somebody else did it, like if somebody got on stage and was like, you should quit, I'd laugh. I'd be like, yeah, that's pretty funny. Yeah. The other thing is like, dude, I had Norm McDonald who was a legend.

Tell me I did last comic standing and he's like, what are you doing here? It was like five years ago. He's like, what are you doing here? I'm like, he's like, how long are you doing comedy? I'm like, uh, four years. He's like, it takes 10 years to be a comedian. So I was just like, uh, and now he like thinks I'm great. Or he thinks the stuff I do is really funny.

So it's like, uh, you get a gut punch from this legend, this icon. Yeah. And you're like, you're in a thrusting situation, you're not ready to be in. And he's like, so it's like, if you can't take me or you with an open mic saying, well, that's, yeah, that's why they should quit. Right. They couldn't handle that. Right.

One, one guy got upset because when Trump won the night he won the night of the election, yeah, one of my favorite nights of comedy. It was wild. I'll tell you what, after that, yeah. So I was at Helium's open mic, which is a Tuesday night mic. Okay. So we're on stage just coming out and being like, cause every comic was going on and crying.

Right. And be like, this is horrible. And then I would go on and be like, whoo, suck our fucking dicks. Dude, we did it. You want to say like all that shit? But, uh, at the comics, Mike, like where you don't even care. It's just fun. I don't give a fuck.

We didn't care. No, I don't care. I don't want to. He shouldn't be the fucking. No, he's a game show host. But it's like, not good. But for me, it was, I was sleeping. I was sleeping on a fucking mattress.

Right. Eating. Of course. Right. I was, I was, you know, I didn't care who won. Right. Uh, and at the comics, Mike, I was, I said, I said fag. Yeah.

And I was like, well, we're allowed to say it now. Trump won. And I don't know if you guys know this. We're allowed to say fag. Right. Clearly a fucking joke. Clearly a joke. Like couldn't be more of a joke.

Right. People, you know, some guys got upset. People got angry. They were upset afterwards. In the room, everyone was laughing. Then I got some angry shit. I think that the, the, the power of comics, uh, and a lot of us buy new our own bullshit of like what we can do.

And I think the reality is we're not that important. Like at all. I don't know. We're not at all really important. Like at all. And like none of us were like Carl and Hicks prior. Nobody really was. Listen, they were important to us.

They're important to the art form to the overall thing. They were not a big, huge deal. Really. They just weren't. Um, so I think that that inflated sense of what comics can do. But I was, uh, I'm sorry, just to go off of that, the inflated sense, uh, the one thing I do want to apologize now that I have a decent audience here, yeah, yeah, uh, didn't mean to say I'm a comedian that pushes boundaries.

That shit was corny. Okay. I retract that statement. Yeah. In the moment it made sense. If you know, right, I literally, I had five minutes to type that fucking thing. You're, you're trying to write a statement for the entire world in five minutes. And it's, yeah, I literally, I had five minutes, right.

Cause I was saying, no, I'm not going to write it. And then I got a phone call that said, Hey, fucking write something. Or we have to fire you right now. Right. So I was like, all right, here's something. Yeah. And I didn't really apologize. You should have texted me.

I would have written something. I had a pretty good guy. I wish I had that platform to your world. I know. No, that's what you think. Yeah. That's what you think. No, of course.

Now you don't want. And I, yeah, there was so many times, I mean, I wish I'd just posted my thing would have been as a comedian. The Jews would have been fun. That would have been, yeah, in hindsight, yeah, of course, I wish I had that. I was, I was at the Chris Gethard live show. Okay. Sitting next to a guy dressed like a, uh, banana, who is, uh, crying.

He was, yeah, um, crying, like, what's the term for like, just nonstop crying? Sobbing. It's like sobbing, wailing. And I said to him, I said, cheer up. You, but I was like, you're a banana. Like you cheer up. Yeah, he goes, he goes, I'm a plantain. And I said, well, it's Trump's America.

You're a banana banana, and you know, rich white women, of course, you'd thrown themselves on the floor and we're beating their hands. Oh yeah, man. They had brought me in and Ray and Ray comp, who co-hosted the show of me for a long time, they brought us in as like lovable heels. Yeah. They thought Hillary was going to win. And we were going to be like, listen, who cares?

She's corrupt. She's a crook, but it doesn't matter. You know, whatever they brought us in is like that. Then when it looked like Trump was winning, and I was on the phone, my friend drew Michael and drew Michael was working at SNL at the time as a writer. And he was telling me that like Kate McKinnon, all those people were like crying. It was like wild. Yeah.

And I was like, well, didn't they know that this was an option? Like one of the two was going to win. Yeah. Right? Like one of them was going to win. And I was on the road for that year. I knew that there was a very good possibility it was Trump. I didn't think it was going to be Trump, but I knew there was a possibility.

I, yeah, I haven't cried like my grandma died today. Right. That's true. Really? That's true. Oh God. Sorry. Sorry.

How old was she? I forgot about it. I don't know. She was 85. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

I didn't like, I did. That was a loss, but, you know, that's fucking light. These people are a fucking political candidate loss. And they, they were throwing them like you said, rolling on the floor. Like it was some sort of like the Holy Spirit took over. Yeah. And it doesn't, it doesn't mean to throw that grandma thing in there. No, it's pretty funny though.

Right. It's hilarious. It's hilarious. I'll tell you, that old woman died. Yeah. This old woman died. My mom's mom. That was my last grandparent.

Well, you did you like her? She, I couldn't think of one nice memory and I lived with her for a little while. Okay. But she was funny. Do you think she leaked the podcast to Seth's side? That fucking cunt, the dirty bitch. He'll never be on that YouTube. Never.

She, she was funny. I'll give her that. She was like an old dickhead. Mean people are. Mean, funny lady. Mean people are funny. Almost died like for the last year. But she's just hung on, hung on to just torture everyone.

I've had to iron a suit like three times this year. Yeah, everyone's like, get ready. She's going. She's still there. Come in. She's fully clothed, walking around. But her while she was dying tonight, I was on the phone right before it came in. Yeah.

My mom and her siblings were around my dying grandma and she like took her like and my aunt walked over and like grabbed her head and was like, Oh, mom. And then my grandma was like scared. Yeah. And then she jumped and then they all started laughing. And my family was dying, laughing. Yeah. While my grandma died.

She died with her kids around her laughing. That's great. What a great way to go. What a nice way to go. Just laughing their asses off. She's laughing. Oh, she's choking. Yeah.

Was she conscious to know that stuff was going on with you? I don't think. Oh, yeah, fuck. Maybe that killed her. Maybe it did. Blood on your hands, Seth. Yeah. What do you think's wrong with a guy like that?

I mean, obviously, probably I don't give him a ton of attention because I don't want to. I mean, Yana's fights with him all day on Twitter. I'll wake up, Yana's fighting with him. I'm like, Yana, I have a bagel, but is a guy that just wants to watch things burn? Is he, he seems angry that he's a joker, dude. Yeah, he is a joker. He seems like a guy that's just unhappy. Did he ever reach out to you?

Was he ever like to have a comment to you? Have you wanted no part of that? He just wanted to. I wouldn't fucking talk to him, too. Right. Because I also think he believes he's doing a fucking good thing. Right. Like, I think he does.

I don't think it's this. No, he probably does. I don't think it's his vindictive or fucked up. So did Muhammad Atta. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he genuinely believes like he is doing something. I don't think it's. I mean, of course, there's some like vindictive shit underneath it all.

But I think he probably thinks he's doing the right thing. Yeah. And you just kind of, you're like, I'm not holding grudges. I don't care. Right. I don't care. If it wasn't him, it would have been somebody else. Yeah, for sure.

I don't care at all about him. Yeah, like, I think he's, I don't care. He's fine. Yeah. He's exactly who they are. Right. So it's impossible. Like, it's like getting mad at a dog for biting you.

Right. You'd be a psycho. Right. It is what it is. It's just what that's that guy's nature for sure. Yeah, it's to do. Is to be a tattle. Yeah.

He's a tattle tail. I've had those. I get that it's serious when Trump won. I get that people are upset. And because they're like, well, there's. But it's like, it's also like, well, you're living in a country where half of the people disagree and the other half. Like they all, like the reality is that people disagree.

There are people that think abortion is murder. I don't think that. But there's people that think that. Yeah. There's people that think that gay people are dangerous. I don't believe that. I think that they're wrong. But there's people that believe that.

I don't want those people put in internment camps. I don't, I don't want to lose any rights. I don't think gay people should lose any rights. But I don't care what you think of me. Like that's the other thing. It's like, I don't really care what your opinion of me is. And I feel like a lot of this comes from the idea that everybody has to think a certain way and you have to control how they think.

I don't care. It means nothing to me what people believe. And I think when Trump won, it was this affront to this idea. It's like, yeah, you're sharing the country with people that some of them agree with you. Some of them don't. Many of them don't care. You know, there's a whole thing about everybody hates everybody. It's like, no, people don't care.

No, yeah. And you travel. I travel. You see these crowds of people, you can go from fucking Brooklyn to Nebraska and everyone's like, all right, whatever. And there's nobody really doing hate speech on stage and getting a laugh. Like nobody's doing that. That doesn't happen.

That's the other thing that people don't understand about comedy clubs. You can't get up and start saying wildly offensive things. If they're not very, very, very funny. Yeah. And everybody's laughing because they know it's a joke. And if they don't know it's a joke, even if they think it's not a joke, that guy looks like Andrew Schultz, who hasn't succeeded. So I'm going to just walk into a guest digital.

I don't know who that guy is. But he didn't put the captions underneath. Yeah, he didn't do the captions. That guy did not put the captions. But it is a while. Now you just go from here like, fuck it. Oh, does any anybody that you became friendly with in a surprising way from this? Yeah, there's been a couple.

But like, yeah, as far as moving forward, it's like. Yeah, fucking keep doing stand up. That's like, again, that's now I'm doing the road. I got fucking, that's what I was, that's what I was doing before this thing. Right. I just started headlining. Yeah, I just started headlining. Well, there are people that didn't have your back that you would

disappointed that didn't have your back. I swear to God, I didn't give a fuck like throughout. Interesting. Most of the time I didn't give a fuck. Uh, I mean, it took a lot out of me. It was just phone call after phone call after phone with agents and managers. Right. And it's a big NBC and fucking the news was calling.

Every news out in the world was calling. They all get your number immediately. It's crazy. Somehow they get your cell phone immediately. Yeah, I get my family's cell phone immediately. Uh, but yeah, as far as people that didn't have my back, I don't know. No, I don't think. Yeah, there's nobody where you were like, eh, no, yeah, that's good.

No, I didn't have any grudges. I don't have any grudges against anyone that really, really spoke out against me. Yeah, there's a couple that I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Right. Like, what are you fucking doing? Like you knew personally or no, people that I knew kind of, uh, but just again, I don't. Doesn't matter.

It doesn't fucking matter. Like, and also I get people that listened to that clip. Yeah. If, if you read that clip under the headline that was like, this is racist as fuck. Wait till you hear this. Right. It's going to look pretty fucking bad. Right.

But if you listen to it and they're like, oh, maybe he's making fun of people that would segregate China town, which is what I was doing. And then you also get fans and there are also people that think it is racist and think it's great. They start emailing you. They're like, you're great. Yeah. There's guys that'll fucking, yeah.

The only people that recognize me are white dudes. So I'll be walking down the street in a white dude. Yeah. Oh, you're like, listen, you, you took it to the Asian. Now you got to talk about flat earth, you know, keep speaking your truth. Yeah. Some of that's crazy. Sometimes I'll get messages and I'm like, God.

Yeah. You get a lot of those. Uh, most of the hate, the fucking DM, I was getting like a fucking hundreds of DMs every single day for the last like month. Yeah. Just people talking shit. Yeah. And everyone, if you respond with like a sad face emoji, they, they immediately

retract. Well, the other thing is they just want attention. Yeah, it's weird. They just want attention. Like, oh, somebody will be like, somebody, sometimes people attack me on DM. I'll respond to something. I'll be like, I'm just kidding. I love you.

I love the show. Exactly. And it's like, oh, you just, you want to just engage with people. You have some, you just want to engage. Yeah. What about your parents? What, what's the family? How did they?

Uh, they were, they're fucking cool with it. Uh, I mean, I'm like, they obviously have a sense of humor. My mom just laughed as her mom died tonight. Yeah, right. They're obviously, they're funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they're dark, funny people. But, uh, my dad, the only one he got fired up at, and my mom, they got worried

because when I got in trouble, I did, I did a spot at the stand where I made fun of it'd be, I said it would be funny if Trump got shot. Like his assassination would be objectively a funny. Right. The, the footage of the assassination would be comical. Him getting shot. So I did a joke about that. And there were fucking reporters at the show that took it out.

They wrote it down and sent it to Fox News, like that week. Wow. So Fox News ran a fucking thing that like I was joking that it'd be funny if Trump got shot or like chingulous calls for assassination. Oh, God. So when my parents saw that, my dad was like, what the hell are you doing? Yeah, this is our only bridge. You're burning your last bridge here.

Don't, don't get the Trump people going. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So last thing. So that was the one thing he was upset about. That's so funny. Yeah. Because he loved dude. He loves our president.

Yeah. He loves 45. Trump, Trump has a cult following. Yeah, you got, he got dads. I think my dad likes him too, but he doesn't admit it because his wife is very liberal. So I think my dad, like, like my dad just texted me all like his, his wife's live, listen to their three dogs names.

Ruth for Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I swear to God, Fred for Frederick Douglass, Freddie, and then Maya for Maya Angel. These are his wife has named the dogs are the dogs that are named after Frederick and Maya. What color one is white and one is black and white. Fred is black and white. And then Maya is all white. Oh, really?

See, doesn't that seem a little, listen, it all seems a little like it's a problem. Don't name your dogs. But my dad texted me the election night on the night of the election. My dad texted me. He did it. And I was just like, don't you mean, don't you mean we did it? Dad, what do you mean by he did it?

I got the text and I was just like, yes, he did. It was just funny. And I was like, oh, that doesn't seem like he, you know, his wife was like, he's very upset and went to bed early and he was just kind of sitting up and he was like, oh, it doesn't seem because it doesn't seem like you're broken up about this at all. Everybody around us started crying. It kind of got like, you like, look around.

It's pretty fucking funny. Well, to me, it was funny and then I was also just like, a lot of this is a show, folks, all the show. It's a lot of it's a show. Obama had the camps. He had the people in the camps and he wasn't dividing the families. But like it was a similar situation. It wasn't out of note.

It was one guy that can't deviate. Like, listen, Trump, I think the thing with Trump is the aesthetic, the way he talks, the way he deals with people, that I mean, how good was that bag daddy speech though? I mean, it's great. One of the better presidential speeches of all time. He's made comedy almost relevant. Comedy almost doesn't make any sense now because you're never going to be funnier

than him. He's, he's the funniest guy I love. You'll, I mean, his speech about Ben Carson is still the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life where he goes, he went after his mother with a hammer. And the people in the audience, like, they don't know what's going on. And he's like, he's like, he's like, and he tried to hit his friend with a lock and he's talking about these, these revelations in Ben Carson's book. And he's an eye war something and he's just going and going.

And it is so wild that you're like spellbound. You're like, this is fucking hilarious. And he's just, you know, that, that weird jazz kind of talk he does where he just, you know, have you seen his hour right now? It's strong. Our strong. I've been what you can YouTube any one of his live events. Dude, I've always wanted to go to a rally and not because I'm

like, agree with what he says and not because the people there aren't fucking insane, anyone at any political rally is mentally ill. Right. Yes. Of all the things you could do at your time, stand in a fucking warehouse and hear a narcissist shout at you a sec. Although when I go on tour, I would like you to do that for me. But at least, but I want to go to rally because I think it is like the funniest

show that you'll ever see. Although, but I've, I've fully accepted that America's over and that we're like, it's done. We're on the decline. I'm like, no, you don't think so? No. What, what, what positive idiot? I don't know anything.

What? Yeah. Uh, college football still fucking rules. So yeah, that's a good point. We got that going for it. Yeah. That's a good point. You been to a game lately?

No, I should. You should go to that. Yeah. I'll fucking get some. It'll get you going. Yeah. I just think the problems are too deep that if they do get solved, it'll be some miracle and it's like, I've, I'm not personally invested in like what it is.

What's going to happen is going to happen. We got a lot of, you know, we got automation coming AI. The, the, the reason that Trump, like Trump is like, I want Logan Paul because here's the thing. I like Logan Paul. I met Logan Paul doing Theo Vaughn's podcast. Do you remember Logan Paul with the whole thing in the suicide forest? Loved it.

Yeah. Well, I didn't realize why people got that angry at him, but he, you know, he was the one like canceled. He was, you know, lost endorsements. He was being, you know, attacked everybody online, celebrities, people that were his friends and I talked to him about that. He goes, people I knew that were my friends were turning on me and he goes, I know I made a mistake and I did a stupid thing.

But he goes, the vitriol, the hatred that was coming at me from people that I was friendly with and that I knew was wild. Well, it's also with that one. It's also like people like me, I had never watched any of his stuff until I watched that episode where he was in Japan, like dressed as a Pokemon, throwing Pokeballs at random Asian people. Right. Yeah.

So then when you're watching that, you're like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's a little much. He, he fully admits that he was wild. He was a little wild. He was wild. This is why I want him to be present. I went to his house to do a podcast. He lives like the kid from blank check.

He's just got sneakers and Ferrari strewn around the yard. You know, they've got a film crew filming him and his brother just walk around. He's like, it's like Netflix. You know, it's terrifying. And he said to me, he said to me, and he said to me, he's like, you know what? In, in 10 years, if I'm bored, I will run for president. And I had this really dark thought. Not only would he do it, but that he might win.

And then I had even the darker thought I went and he might not be that bad. He actually might be pretty good at it. And should I get involved now to start trying to groom him to be the press? Should I be Logan Paul's Steve Bannon? Yes. Yes. And here's why I'm able to do it. I've given up on the idea that it's all going to be okay.

Like I think I've embraced what the stage of the empire we're in. And I think Logan Paul's a fitting president for that stage of the empire. He's a good Nero. I think he's a fitting Nero. And I want to help him get there because he You have a horse and Senate. He's a highly disciplined guy. He's I don't I think he's

Yes. Yes. No, I mean, he's he's well put together abs. I think I think he could do it. Here's the other thing I think you have all these YouTube stars. They're all in in in in in 15 years, 20 years. They're all going to be multimillionaires have huge fan bases and no skills. So I think that's where that's the pool of people that you're going to get your

politicians from. They're going to come from YouTube because that's, you know, they just their only provable skill is like amassing these large followings. Hey guys made a lot of money. That's their skill. Hey guys, hey guys, just garbage. But that's what that's what's going to win the presidency soon. Hey guys, are you feeling good?

Like I think things are going to get so bad where like these guys are just going to be up like because I think the fireside chat will be like a YouTube where they just get on and they go, Hey guys, are you feeling good today? I was feeling bad yesterday, but today I'm feeling a little better. There's a makeup tutorial and I hope you are too. I think that's where we're going. And then they're going to be like, now watch me eat the cereal very slowly, you know, it's it's so I that's why I'm actually trying to to investigate

what I would have to do to to I think you're doing the right thing right now getting in front of this thing. Let him know. Allow me letting him know who's who you thinking for vice? Well, was that where you would be? No, I don't want a Paul Paul ticket. Paul Paul. I don't know.

I think we we're going to got to go with a woman. We got to bounce out to straight whiteness of it all. You get Woe Vicki. We need one of them. Yeah. Woe Vicki or bad baby. We need one of them baby baby. She got just she's just got smacked up.

Yeah. From by Woe Vicki. Right. So Woe Vicki. That was Woe Vicki. Philly. I they both they both look like Kensington to me. North Philly.

Where can you look up Bobby where bad babies from please and start producing this goddamn show and Woe Vicki. Can we get a bad baby and Woe Vicki where they're from? Thank you, Bobby. I know when Rogan's in here, everybody pays attention when I come in. Everybody likes to go to sleep. I they look like either Long Island or Philly. It does.

Yeah. Well, they're they're a city where the opioid crisis is. Yeah, it's ravaged ravaged the area. What do we got, Bobby? What do we got, Robert? Robert Hutchett, bad, bad babies from Florida. Yeah, I'll do it. That's it.

That'll do it. And what about Woe Vicki? I think she's from the desert. Now, bad baby has some catchy songs. What about Woe Vicki? Now, Little Xan follows me on Twitter. You know, Little Xan, Little Xan, Little Xan. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's awesome. Yeah, I'm very happy about it. Xan's a decent candidate. I Xan is you're absolutely right about this. Give me a good cabinet. It's going to be good. I think the Chinese are there's no part of me that's kidding about this.

I want everyone to know that. I know there's no part of me that's kidding about trying to put Logan Paul in the White House. That's a good ticket. I don't think he'd be that bad. Where is Woe Vicki from, Robert? She's from Atlanta, Georgia. Woe Vicki.

Is she good? Is Woe Vicki good? That's good. That's what you want for those red states. You want to get someone from Georgia. You need somebody from Georgia in there. That's good. Logan Paul and Woe Vicki.

I think Logan would be injured. Are there any of those YouTube guys? Because there's a listen in LA, man, you know, there's no real line between them and us. They're there. I mean, obviously the line of like, he lives in a mansion and I live in someone else's house that they've abandoned. What is the like, is there any YouTube guys that you're watching

like, oh, that guy's funny. It's not our sensibility. Yeah, I don't really watch too many. I watch some fucking Vine. Some of those guys are good. Yeah. Some of those Vine stars. Some of them are.

TikTok's hilarious. Well, TikTok's crazy. TikTok's TikTok is every, every clip. Like if you go to a TikTok cringe compilation, it is a person you've never imagined every scene. Right. It's a face you've never seen. Right.

Or thought that could exist. That every person is that ugly. Do you think that we should be on TikTok? Cause I'm like, I wasn't on Twitter early. I wasn't on Instagram early. I'll never, I don't think I'll ever be on any of that stuff. Oh, interesting. Well, you've had an experience with it.

I'm not the biggest fan of social media. You've had a negative experience. It was not a great time on Twitter. And I was just getting on Twitter. I like was just figuring out how to use it. You're just figuring it out. 2019, I slowly figured out how to tweet things. Yeah.

And then once I started, the wheel started turning. I got your first tweet was like, hello, everybody. Hello. You retweeted the SNL thing. That was your first tweet. Yeah. Your second tweet was like, ladies and gentlemen, in fact, I did have a relationship with Miss Lewinsky that was wrong.

Yeah. That was, that was a funny part. It was having to write like these like congressional Apollo, like all these like very like, well, talking to Logan, I talked to him about it. And he was like, yeah, he goes, you, you really can't let that shit get in your head because it is a big thing when people just come for you. Yeah. It's embarrassing afterwards.

Yeah. Afterwards, when you realized how serious you took it. Right. Um, and I kept trying to remember that. I was like, just remember in like a month, you're going to be like, I wish I didn't say all that. That's embarrassing. Yeah.

But I think I did. I'm, I'm proud of, not proud, but I'm okay with how I did it. Yeah. This is my first fucking year in New York and that, you know, you made a splash, brother. Big year. Your first year in New York, you made a big splash. What are you going to do next year?

Go on the view. Shane Gillis gets hired by the view. How great would that be? Oh, that was like one of my favorite. Uh, there was this, uh, there's, there's a knockoff view. There's like a urban view. The talk. The talk.

Yeah. So on the talk, there's a big black lady that, uh, somebody on Reddit referred to as Mother Nature, which really made me laugh. They were like, Mother Nature defends Shane Gillis. And it was that lady talking. And, uh, one of the sister sisters, Tia or Tamara, one of them that's on the show. So the black lady was like, uh, white boys be saying like fucked up things on purpose. Like they know it's wrong.

So they say it. Right. And comedy. Yeah. And she was defending it. She was like, that's how white guys are. They say fucked up things. And then, uh, sister, sister was like, wait, so they know it's wrong and they say it anyway.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. It's like, for sure. Yes. Yeah. That's why he said it.

Yeah. He knew it was wrong. Interesting. And what was funny to see a revelation occur that's like, oh, they're like, oh, shit. Maybe that's what comedy is saying stuff you shouldn't say. Dumb stuff. That's a taboo. What would comedy be if it was just things you should say?

Like think of the, think of what that would be like. I was not in my prime. Right. I was not in my prime. That's it. You know what? I've seen a few specials since hers. I had no idea how good hers was.

Hers is not that bad. I got to be honest with you, dude. Some of the ones that have come out after that. I mean, you, you're like, God, give us Nanette. Yeah. There was a, yeah. There was a reason one where the lady who made it had talked some shit on me a little. And I was delighted to watch her special.

It was, as Janice Papa says, watching a dictator's daughter give a special to an audience with guns to their head. Yeah. I mean, that's what it was. Yeah. You know, that's absolutely what it was. And, you know, we don't know if that pod's coming out. Me, Yanni and Chris, that was wild.

Yeah. I think it's funny. Hilarious. It's a really, yeah. I mean, that's what, yeah. I mean, it's, you know, she didn't even see much of a tape in the special. She seemed like, she just like rolled in and everyone was like, surprise. It's your birthday party.

We're taping a special. Yeah. What did she say about you? Do you remember? Uh, I don't, I'm not certain we're talking about the same person, but I think we have to be. Yeah. Uh, I don't know. I didn't listen to it.

I didn't listen to it. So it might not have even been that bad. Okay. But I ran into her later the next day and the first thing she said to me was like, have you, have you gotten therapy? Have you seen someone? Cause maybe we're not talking about the same person. Definitely not.

And I feel bad. What? Who are you talking about? Uh, she probably shouldn't name them. Okay. Yeah. There's no point. There's no point in it because she might be, she might be great.

I don't know her. Right. And I don't even know exactly what she said. Interesting. So, like, can we play Meki leapers? Yeah. Let's just watch this fucking punk. Let's play Meki leapers.

Meki leapers, a friend of ours. Let's play, go to his Instagram, Bobby's Meki leap. We're going to play his video today. He made a video today on in time square and he's very proud of it. He thinks it's really what, and like, sometimes I'm like, he's a smart guy, very smart, very talented. But sometimes he does things and I'm like, this is goofy. What are you doing?

Oh, there it is. Here it is. Turn it with the music up, Bobby. Cause I mean, look at that. What is this? Put the music on, please, Bobby. Is there a way to put the music on? Is what I love about guest visuals.

I mean, he's spinning around and then he gets grabbed by what iron man. It's insanely bad. Yeah, it's so insane. Somebody goes laughing my ass off. This is like Glee 2007. Well, you know, you get. So that's the thing. Like the mexter, the mexter, he's got those glasses and shit.

He's going to get those types of fans. He's going to get people be like, oh, man, this is good. It reminds me of Glee. Oh, now, meanwhile, you and me are getting fans that are like, yeah, you should say those words. Please say you were getting, I'm getting fans where they're like, I'm armed and I'm ready for a while. Hold on, I get DMs every day.

Be like, Hey, you want to come down and shoot? You want to shoot some guns with me? Interesting. Let's get fucked up and shoot. You mean my dad are going to go shoot guns. Isn't that sweet? That's like, thanks, man. Where now?

Where can it's, it's interesting to ask you for plugs. Where can people find you? I mean, let's plug the pod because everybody loves that. Matt and Shane's secret podcast. Matt and Shane's secret podcast. Matt and Shane's not that secret anymore. It's not that secret anymore. It was secret.

Had it been secret, this guy would be, uh, I'll be doing all right. You'd be on a weekend update right now. Yeah, I would have got fired. You think? I think eventually I would have got fired. Interesting. Pretty, I mean, yeah, if, yeah. I mean, live dates, plugs and live dates.

We have a lot of people. What do we, what do we add? Uh, when's this getting released? Coming out Sunday. It's Wednesday right now. All right. So, uh, all next week, I'm in the city. Uh, the next thing I have is just, uh, November 30th.

Laugh it up. Echipsy December 13th and 14th. Worcester mass at Woo-Ha 26, 27th, 28th of December. Magoobies and I just added today. I just added helium buffalo and then stress factory in New Jersey, both stress factories, comics and what he can, I don't know. Just fucking, uh, listen to Matt and Shane. Secret pockets and then your website.

You have a website where your dates. Yeah. And I got to fix it because it sucks. Uh, Shane M. Gillis dot com at Shane M. Gillis on Twitter. I'll post there you go. Hyena's Fort Worth folks this weekend, November 14th to the 16th coming up for

Mount comedy club November 21st through the 23rd stress factory in Bridgeport, Connecticut, December 5th through the 7th comedy connection Providence, Rhode Island, 13th and 14th. Magoobies, January 9th to 11th, Zany, Chicago, Illinois, February 5th through the 8th house of comedy Bloomington, Minnesota, Minneapolis, Bloomington. And the Bloomington. MN Bloomington, Minneapolis, April 9th through the 11th house of comedy in Phoenix, Arizona, May 7th through the 9th comic strip Edmonton, June 18th to the

20th, the Carolines. First week at headlining Carolines in New York. That'd be awesome. Yeah. March 12th through the 14th. Pretty wild. Very exciting. Yeah.

Should be fun. Um, so grab some of those tickets too. Um, if you can, Tim J. Dylan, D.I. L.O.N. on Instagram and Twitter and, uh, go follow Shane, go leave the show, you know, a five star rating and a review, tell your friends about it. Um, share those videos that we make, you know, unless they'll get you fired. We don't want that.

I don't need that on my fucking head. And, uh, or, you know what? Or, you know, take a stand and get fired and share the video. Yeah, don't apologize. Go home and don't apologize. And, you know, tell, tell your family, listen, we got, we got to, we got to fucking, we got to just fucking take one for the team here. And we're not going to, no, we're not going to be able to live.

We're not going to be able to live. But then show them and yeah, it'll be very fun. Show them the video. You know, all right. Thank you, folks. Goodbye. Hey guys, it's Ben, the producer of the show. I'm recording alone in LA right now.

Tim is still in New York. I'm not sure what he's up to. He's probably at Smith and Walensky's taking pictures of meat or he's turning Epstein's townhouse into an influencer wall. I don't know what he's up to. So I'm just sort of laying around, thinking of different ways to destroy Tim's career. If you listen to the show, you know, that's pretty much my main role is

I'm constantly trying to sabotage everything Tim has built over the past decade. I devised a great idea to take Tim down. And that is I'm going to post a 30 minute teaser for the Patreon episode this week at the end of this episode. So that's what you're about to hear is Tim and Ray Kump in a hotel in New York. Just a 30 minute teaser. I'm incentivizing you guys to go sign up for the Patreon. Patreon.com slash The Tim Dillon Show.

Here's the thing. There's 145 archived episodes and a bonus episode we do every week. That's a lot of content to sift through. You could probably find something in there that's very foul or problematic and you could take down Tim. He's on the verge of becoming a very big comedian. I can't have that happening. So we need to take him down.

There's conspiracy theory episodes. There's Whitney Webb, former CIA agents, Nick Bryant, Russ Baker. There's a great episode where Tim interviews someone who almost got killed by a gang of serial killers called The Smiley Face Killers. There's a lot of funny episodes, too. There's an episode where me and Tim are just driving around Beverly Hills and he has the window rolled down and he's just screaming about, you know, pedophiles and billionaires in dark money.

Episodes with Yannis Papas, Ray Kump. There's a great episode with Jessa Reed, where she talks about talking to aliens and tapping into a higher dimension. There's a whole assortment of stuff not to mention. We post longer versions of the sketches there and other video content. Tim posts pictures. He posts updates. There's about 1500 people that are that have already joined the Patreon.

So please go over and join that and help me finally take Tim down. So here now is a 30 minute teaser from the episode Tim did with the great Raymond Kump from a hotel in New York this week, where Tim considers running for president. But yeah, I mean, I don't know, man. I do think that YouTubers are, you know, as annoying as many of them are. You know, they figured something out. Should I get on YouTube?

When I walk around, yes, no, yes. Where would my gimmick be? Should I be like a chef or something? I think you'd have to go pay pig. Pay pig. But it's not legitimate. Pay pigs are there on YouTube. Well, pay pigs are like phydom, like financial domination,

where you'd call somebody and be like, give me your money. But that's not that's like hot chicks do that. What I think you should do is like muckbangs where people feed you. You'd have to like eat a hole. You could get on and like eat a whole Boston market chicken and make like the sounds, you know, and then describe it. Dude, you would get two hundred thousand views. If I muckbangs, if you went and recorded yourself eating

a Boston market chicken with the gravy and just slurping and eating like an animal, maybe the bones. I don't know if you'd eat the bones, but I think you would get. You could. I'm not even kidding. You might get a quarter million views or more. I like watching you could go viral if you started thinking like that. I like watching those videos where those guys go to Taco Bell and eat the whole menu or like Arby's.

There's something comforting about like a guy goes out of garden and he eats like everything on the menu. And it's just like a little weird variation. And he's just like getting sick and he hates it. And he's feeling like, you know, he's just slurring and getting slow. Is that true? Yeah. I mean, he's not eating the whole thing. He's eating like a bite of each.

Well, like, yeah, like when you're sitting, like, you know, chicken carbonara, chicken carbonara, bacon now, chicken carbonara with, like, you know, take a bite or two of each. Chicken carbonara, but you know, you're there for an hour or two hours. You just eat the entire meal menu of Olive Garden. Yeah. I didn't even know that was a genre. It's called, it's a try guys. Oh, and they just eat the whole restaurant.

It's not the only thing they do, I guess. That's all I watch with them. He goes to McDonald's or Burger King. He did Arby's. You know, I used to watch on YouTube a lot and I used to enjoy Alex Jones. Yeah. What happened to him? He, he didn't really eat a lot. He would talk about coffee occasionally.

But yeah, I think if you went into that situation in where you started, like, you know, you had a channel. I don't want to be a competitive eater, right? Because there's that guy like Stoney, like he'll eat like a literally like 100 Big Macs. If you, like, went on YouTube, put, like, like, like ground chuck beef, you'd cook it. You'd cook it. Right. Like you put it in your mouth and just squish it and ate it

and then poured milk over your head. You would get like hundreds of thousands of years. Why am I not doing that? Because here's what people don't realize. Technology is that Pandora's box that's been opened. You can't put it back in and it's really making people sick. Yeah. Like all the things that just crossed your head where you would just be like,

all right, that's not right. I'll just get rid of that. Like we're really going into this very strange, weird rabbit hole, like things we just want to see. Yeah, we just want to watch things. We're all becoming weird passive viewers and we just want to watch things. You need to get a hobby. I keep saying it, but like, you know, people need to do have hobbies.

Is watching the try hobby and why passive things aren't hobbies. OK, build a model car. OK, you have to be the biggest loser hobby ever. All right. Well, stamp collecting tennis. What about tennis? That's a hobby. Sure. Yeah. Why do you have to be stamp like? Why does it have to be some weird cereal? Maybe they'll kill a fucking hobby, collecting people's skin.

That's something you can really think your teeth into. Stamps are like a valid hobby. Stamp collecting is not as big as it used to be. But the guy who I used to live in his house and he died. Why did he die? Are you confessing to something? You sound like you're about to confess. He was an old man.

Wait a minute. Hold on. How old is it? 98. How did he let you live in his home? Well, I was my landlord. Oh, yeah. You stamp collection. He was also the head of the prisons of the psychiatric prisons of the county for a while. Had a time. How did you meet him? I was just craigslist.

They vouched for you? Who did? No, I mean, like I thought you got him through the prison. No, he was the head of psychiatric prisons. You just met him through Craigslist. Yeah. And you told him you worked at the jail. Did he like that? The more work at the time like that. Yeah, that was. That's interesting. I used to work.

I mean, you can barely talk in a stroke already. That's right. And sometimes I was here at night going ice water, ice water. Because like his son is drug recovering. We call his son was in recovery. Yeah. He had a voice box. Like, wow, he's a good guy.

His son had no voice. We had a voice box. You know, hello. That thing. Allow them to talk like this. Yeah. Hello. Why did he have a voice? Was it lung cancer?

I think lung cancer. I mean, his son had a voice box. Yeah. He told me when I first came in, like, my son, he's a survivor. I'm like, great. Perfect. But he was a good guy as a son. But I guess he would get annoyed. I think that dad was a little abusive

when they were growing up because he would not go get him ice water, even though he was asking for it. I mean, eventually, maybe I know one time he fell in the bathroom and my friend was over and my friend was a little drunk and he was well, she's like, we're hearing this. We're hearing like he's going, help, help, help.

And I'm like, I'm at this point, a little desensitized to like, he's always making noises. And like the sun's going to come down. Like, what am I going to storm into their house? Like I'm in the basement. It'd be like, I don't have free reign in the house. As he's yelling, help, help. What are you and your drunk friend doing?

Well, I'm just going, it's fine. It's fine. And my friend's like, we have to help that man. And he was probably right. It's fine. Sit back down. What do you hero? Sit down. And eventually my friend wouldn't shut up about it. So I called Robert.

I said, I think your father is, uh, has fallen and eventually like, Oh, I'll take a look at it. And yeah, the next day he's like, thanks for calling me because he was, you know, he's fallen in the bathroom and he was stuck between the toilet and the bathtub. I think God, man, the stamp collector is my point. We need a war with China. We need a war with China.

Be nice to your kids. Maybe we'll get you ice water in 40 years. I mean, I, man, God, thank God we will not be 90. Yeah. I was at this wedding recently and I was like, I think I want to get married and have more of a traditional life. Yeah, me too. Yeah.

Why don't we get, have a joint, like I'm not marrying you. We'll have a joint wedding together. That's an interesting idea. Yeah. Like I'll marry Lucy and you can marry, you know, Logan Paul or whoever. Yeah, Logan Paul, man.

I'm telling you. Be marriage convenience for him. He's going to do a lot better than you think. I will back him for present. I need to, you know, I was watching a Steve Bannon doc the other night and I'm like, I need a Trump. You need. I need a Trump.

You think you have a tactical mind for that kind of thing? Well, I mean, if not, who cares? Sure. But you just want to, you want to be a king maker. I mean, I thought you were the star. You need a Bannon. I'd like to play a little game though, but I'm talking about years from now

when I'm bored of comedy and I don't give a shit. Right. You need to be Trump. You don't need to find it. Like you need to find a Bannon. It's an interesting question. Should I be the president? Fair point, right?

I take you over fucking. I don't think Logan Paul is going to connect with the masses. He's connected with kids, but like the people who, like he's not going to whip people into a frenzy like you can. You can, you know, you can get people. This is interesting. Now you're making me think maybe the president of the United States shouldn't be Logan Paul,

should be me. Yeah, I agree. Wow. This is very interesting. I don't know. I'll be your goddamn Steve Bannon. Yeah. I mean, this is an interesting question, you know?

First thing you do is you got to get fatter. You're not weird in between. You need to be a Chris Christie type. They want real fat. Yeah. Yeah. And you need the political cartoon fat. You need to move your permanent residence.

You have to live there, but you have to be a resident of Pittsburgh. I like that. Yeah. First of all, I don't hate these ideas. Right. And I have no, here's the thing. I have a nickname.

Yeah. Now what is the nickname? Oh, what was Trump's nickname? What do you mean? Like the Donald? Like you don't know that. Well, there was the Donald. There was, I'm trying to think.

Oh, they call him the God Emperor. We call him the God Emperor. We're all right. Everybody online. They call him the God Emperor. So are you asking me for what the alt-right's going to call you online or are you asking for a nickname? I need a nickname.

El Fuego. El Fuego? What does that mean? The flame or the fire? Not because you're gay, because this is like this in general. I don't know if I can pull that off. That sounds very Latin.

It is. It's Spanish. What about the boss? No, the chunk. Chunk. Chunk. What about cum chunk? They, when he was, cum chunk.

Cum chunk? Cum chunk. Why not just like, you know, slut pig? What are you doing? Why not slut pig? Yeah, look, you can call yourself, yeah, call yourself the pig. The pig.

Dad, I like the pig. A pig will get it done. Pig eats what it has to eat. That's what you need. A pig needs a pig. A pig's comfortable in the mud. Pig eats what it should have been asked to. Pig will do what it wants.

And pig tastes real good. Smarter than we look. Pig is smarter than he looks. And pig sometimes makes a sacrifice. It feeds the whole family. Yeah. A pig can do it. Yeah.

A pig will do it. I'm a hard-working pig. I'm a pig. I've been a pig my whole life. I'm your pig. I'm now your pig, America. You actually have your announcement speech. It's like, look, as crazy as Trump coming down the escalator

and making that all-fingering thing, you literally get naked. You get in the nude and you get into the mud. It was- With hogs. Pigs. Yeah, like with pigs. And you go, this is what I am now. I'm here for you.

I am your pig. Yeah. And you're just like, you know, they have to blur you out to show you what it's like. Look at these animals. These animals, they're perfectly adapted for their environment. Yeah. They roll around in the mud.

They love it. They enjoy it. You're like, you're not like humping the pig. We're kind of like mounting it just for the sake of it. Projection of power. Yeah. The pig. Tim Dillon, the pig is here.

Yeah. I'm your pig, America. I'm just sitting there watching with a clipboard going like, you know. Tim Dillon, American pig. American pig. American pig. This could win.

I'm not even kidding. This is not the worst idea. Are we doing 2020 or waiting for the 20? We're waiting. We're waiting. We missed the boat on 2020. But we're doing 2020 for American pig. He's from Pittsburgh.

Right. What are they famous for? It's not Philly cheesesteaks. What do they eat? Yeah. Like a loose meat sandwich, I think. Yeah. That's what they are.

Yeah. It's disgusting people. Oh, you're simple people. You're so out of the air. Just want a nice cold beer and a sandwich of loose meat. And I'm your pig. Watch the Steelers.

You need a pig to do your bidding in Washington. Yeah. I will be that pig. Right. Interesting. The Pittsburgh pig. And when you call out a fellow congressman or whatever, it's Oink, Oink, I say to you.

Right. That's what all my supporters will do. They'll go Oink, Oink, Oink, Oink. Know what this has? Maga hats will be pig noses. This is so much less tasteful than Joker. Like literally if Joker won. This is like the most tasteless villain.

Oink, Oink, Oink, Oink, Oink. We just hand out bacon at the rallies. Eat your pig. I feel like we can make this work. I mean, now I'm really thinking, maybe I was wrong about Logan Paul. Maybe I should just do it. Logan Paul can be like treasury or something.

Right. Good idea. Make him like national security visor. He's lean. He's tough. He's buff. Yeah, exactly. But I need to really run the show.

Who's the cabinet? We'll have Logan Paul. Can you find me a job? Yeah. Economics, treasury. Thank you. Yeah, treasury or chairman of the Fed or something. Ooh, ooh.

Qualify for that. Let's have a come in. Come here. Merrill Rothbard. I mean, who else? We gotta staff it up. Defense. Who do we get for defense?

Defense. Jesse Ventura. Oh. Yeah. Okay. For... Rogan's gotta do something. Rogan can be...

National security advisor. I don't feel... He's a very highly disciplined guy. Yeah. I mean, I'm thinking more about... Secretary of state. He's very good at talking to people. Yeah.

I think more of a science-y kind of thing. Ooh, interesting. But what is that even? I mean, the thing is like the agriculture... The agriculture secretary kind of sucks. Seems like an insult. I don't like the agriculture in there. Insult.

State. Secretary of state. We need Rogan on our side. State. Okay. We can get Andrew Yang to run the private prisons. Okay. I feel like he'd be good at that.

I like that. Bernie can... Bernie's dead by the time... We've killed Bernie. He's gonna die. He'll die naturally. Can we get Hillary to be your running mate? No, she's gonna...

She goes, I said... Dude, do you think she's getting back in? Why is she all over the news right now? I don't... What's she been doing on the news? I heard you were still a little bit about this, but what's going on? She knows you're on The Daily Show.

She's on The View. She's kind of making it around. She's doing The Late Night Show. She's doing Colbert. She's out there... You think she's gonna make her last minute swooping to the primary? I don't know what she's gonna do,

but Fox News usually did a poll where she beats Trump. She beats Trump. Yeah. Fox News is the... Did Fox News completely turn on Trump? It seems like they... No. They've definitely...

Shifted a bit. Um... I don't know. I don't know. I don't really watch them frequently. No, they don't either. They hated them in the beginning, and then they got on board.

They got on board very late. Fox News did? They're the organ of establishment Republican opinion. Sure, but they're also like, you know, pig-sloppers. Yeah, but only when they realized there was too much slop that they had to get in the mud. They weren't... They were gonna back Jeff Bush.

What? That's Fox News. Dude, Rush Limbaugh was all against Trump. Hannity, the whole crew. Really? The only person who was with him was Ann Coulter. Okay. No, I know they weren't like back in him as the fact of kidding,

but like, I don't feel like Fox... Fox News isn't like Charles Krautheimer and fucking, you know, like... He was on Fox. He was, but he's also like, you know, outspoken. My point is there was a polite Republican establishment, and Trump, I mean, Fox wasn't really like that. No, but... They were very mainstream country club conservative establishment

that also did not like Trump in the beginning. Okay. They briskly... I know they weren't, they didn't love him, but I mean, like... Like, the country club Republicans didn't watch Fox. I guess they... Yeah, yeah, they did. Yeah, they did, buddy.

What are you talking about? Of course they did. Yeah. You were talking about this, a feat, a intellectual Bill Crystal Wing, national review. Right. That is very small, heritage, you know, think tank guys. Yeah, you're right, you're right.

That's not the rank and file. Right. You know? Even though the other guys got, like, they make dreams of great a year. They ain't, they're dummies. No, you have chorus. They want entertainment. Right.

They want to go home and hear, you know, Lori Ingram defend the use of the n-word or something. Yeah, sure. No, you're right. All right. Put on some nice entertainment. But... Oh, Clinton.

Yeah, I don't... Is she beating, is she getting the nomination? Is she beating Warren even? No, but, but, but, I don't know. I mean, here's the bigger question. The one thing, this whole impeachment... To Biden wins. You think Biden's going to win?

Listen, listen to me. Biden wins. He picks Hillary as his VP. Yeah. They win. Biden's so dirty with his Ukraine shit. Right. He gets impeached.

Hillary's the president. House of Cards. Sure. That'd be, that'd be fun. Do you think, do you think this, the Ukraine thing hurts Biden like, that's like, like severely? I think, I don't know.

I think that that obviously I'm just flouting and floating a conspiracy theory that's fun. No, of course, but he is dirty. It could wound him. He's like, he's definitely... And mortally, I don't know. I mean, I think Trump's dirtier, but I mean, I do think he looks pretty dirty.

What about, you know, what about you, you don't think Hill dogs getting back in? I'm not saying she is. I'm just trying to think of like why she would wait. Interesting. I just think that there is no clear... Well, my point is, do you think she's seeing a field going?

Yeah, no one's really got it. I think she is. Yeah. I think there's a potential that she's looking at the field going, nobody's got it. Nobody has a plurality of support. Right.

The left and the right is to the flanks or between Warren and Bernie and Biden and Buttigieg are the divides are pretty deep between the, you know, the Medicare for all socialists and the, you know, Blue Dog Democrat corporatists, whatever you want to call them. Right. And I think Hillary might want to just come out

and be like, listen, I'm the first one to bring up Medicare for all. I'm the first one to try to do it. Years ago in the 90s, you know, I made a mess, but I was, you know, and I'm also a warmonger and I love banks. Yes. I put my email on a private server.

Why did I do that? I got a lot of, I got a lot of fingers and paws. Yeah. Maybe she should have just said that. Dude, if she was like Trump, she might have won. Like if she's just like, listen, who gives a fuck? The people die. Don't worry, you're pretty little head about it.

People close to me die. Everyone is someone close to them that dies. Hey, Jake Tapper, don't worry, you're pretty little head about where my emails go. I'm not saying I killed Vernon Jordan, but he was a rat. Wait, wasn't Vernon Jordan's? No, Vernon Jordan, the black guy is still alive.

Who am I thinking of? Oh, that guy who shot himself twice in the head, Vince Foster. Vince Foster, yeah. She's like, nobody cries for Vince Foster. That's all. You think he was a hero? You think Vince Foster was a hero?

I don't know, man. It'd be interesting to see her get back in. Yeah. I mean, she almost won. She won the popular vote. Oh yeah, by millions, yeah. He'll win again though, if she runs probably. I don't know.

I mean, Fox News has never been wrong. She has to, if she runs again, she has to be to the right and to the left of him. Yeah, she has to say this. We're going to kill people who come across the border. We'll kill them. We're going to kill them. We're going to put them in camps.

They are going to be concentration camps. Yeah. And Medicare for all and guaranteed to your unemployment. I'm building a wall in China. Yeah. She goes, we're going to turn those, you know those camps on the border? We're going to turn them into concentration camps.

It's not just going to be a slogan anymore. It's going to be an actual camp. Not fucking around here. Yeah. It's a nasty brutal sport, this political. Do you think it'd be better with Hillary? Do I think the country would be doing better with Hillary? I mean, listen, we always talk about this.

The majority of things wouldn't be that different, right? She'd be, you know, maybe lobbing a few more missiles into Syria. People, yeah, you know, Syria would, you know, we... Economy would be similar, right? She wouldn't be doing... He's, he's joked the economy, but he's done well with that. Yeah, I think the stock market...

I mean, like, was Hillary really doing anything to hurt stocks, though? No. Like, why would they... Fucking those are her friends. That's what I'm saying. Congress, I mean, Wall Street, I mean, sorry, is pretty dumb a lot of the time. Yeah.

I mean, they have a lot. There's some guys who are smarter than me. He's not going to be wrong, but... Some? Some. But the point is like, oh, Trump's in, now his stock market's booming. Like, what do you think Hillary was going to do? No, yeah, yeah.

It's like giving speeches to these people. Yeah. But I'll tell you this, it would be, I feel like, I said it's rogue news, and I was like, I feel like we're on the edge of, it feels like that scene in the movie where like, you know, a car is hanging off the edge of a cliff and just, it's not falling. Nothing's happening. Right.

We've been living at that moment for the last, since Trump got elected and a lot of it's the media, but a lot of it's just him as well. And it's such an unhealthy place to be in that second with no like resolution to anything. It just feels like we're all suspended in midair waiting for something. Here's why badness is either a moron or a liar, because he kept saying how if we don't change something, revolution's going to happen. Yeah.

Who's going to fight it? Yeah. The us fat fucking whales. We're not doing anything knows full well. The revolution's not happening. But Bannon also knows the idea of it is what keeps, you know, my point is, I think he's like low level white nationalist terrorism. Oh, sure.

But my point is the larger point, oh, we feel like we're on a brink of something. I mean, we're going to all realize that, like, we're not on the brink of anything. We're like, we're the brink of realizing that, like, there's nothing we can do to change it. And, like, this is as quo and, like, that's what Putin, Putin has a different strategy with more like, yeah, you know, I'm fucking you. I know, you know, I'm fucking you. That's what we're doing.

And, like, it's just kind of accepted. It's hyper normalization. Well, that's also the way that they've been for a very long time. Sure. This country operates in its own pathos, you know, the entertainment industry and the media and like, you know, mythmaking and storytelling. And we're very good at that. And I think that the younger generation, maybe they are more active.

Maybe they will push things in the right direction. I don't know. We need the new fast food thing. Should I date David Hogg? Yeah. Yeah. I think I should start dating him. Yeah, he's gay, right? No, you can make him gay, right?

I don't think he has a sexuality. He has a very odd mouth. It's like a mealy mouth, a strange mouth. You get to do some. I don't know. How would you like? I'm David Hogg. Hello. Who is this? Oh, hi, David.

This is Tim Dillon. How are you? Oh, I've seen you on the life of Gotham. You're hilarious. David, David, I wasn't on that. I was on a show called Gotham Access Comedy Live on Access TV. I was great. You're really about Popeye.

So how are you? I was he was a good bit. Thank you, David. How are you doing? Have you been OK? I know that a lot of people are angry. You know, I was in the school shooting. Yes. And David, I'm sorry. Thank you.

I'm sorry about that. And I also think that it should be harder for people to get guns. You want to make love? David, I need you to relax. I'm supposed to be seducing you. You're getting you're getting out of control. David, I feel like this isn't you. I feel like this is somebody I want to make love.

I mean, what's a guy like that do for fun? What's a guy like David Hogg do for fun? I mean, I feel like he wouldn't be funny if I go shooting. Yeah, he's building. He's got I feel like he's got a gun. I feel like you think so. I absolutely believe what if he can only come if I put a gun to his head? With like one way to find out, you know, David.

Yeah, he's like, you know, as much of an activist as I am, I can actually only come if Tim puts a gun to my head. He's an interesting. Is this terrorism? We're recording now. It's this terror. I don't know. Sometimes I send this to Ben and he goes, it was so funny. That has to be the regular episode, not the Patreon episode.

So we never really we never really know where it goes. Yeah, usually for Patreon, people get that we're kidding around and that things a joke and that everybody is a joke and that all we all we care about, you know, all the children of the world and, you know, the climate and the people and all the goodness. Should be. Yeah. That's maybe that'll be the thing that really invalidates. Like the climate might just start kicking our asses in a way that

like politics seems like the good old days. Well, look, that's going to be about 20 years from now. It won't really get bad. I mean, you're saying that Manhattan's under water and 20. I don't think that's true. Yeah, I don't know. I'm just saying people are saying people. What are you basing your thing on?

The way people talk. The way people talk. They just run their mouths. Me and Ben had this. Me and Ben, we may film this sketch. Ready? Do you know the song Bobby Short I Happen to Like New York? No, no.

Play it. Get it. Because we want to film this sketch with you. We want to rent out the Carlisle. This is going to cost you much money and have you. Bobby Short. Yeah. I happen to love New York. You're in a suit.

It's a very small jazz band. In Cafe Carlisle. And you sing this song. And the families and the children are smiling and swaying. Yes. And everybody's mad. It is magical in the Carlisle. And you're just singing it.

And you just look great. You're in a big suit. New York. I want a battery pack. Take the Liberty cruise. I like to go to bed. That that that that thing that flashed. We were sitting in Penn Station in the waiting room.

It's surrounded by like homeless people. Heroin addicts, people vomiting. And then there was just this on the TV. Those are just flash because take the Liberty cruise. This shitty boat that took you around this touch of Liberty. And it was just it was he'd encapsulated this whole show and everything that we had thought like in just that one image with like this girl just vomiting all over people crawling on the floor.

Just scratching themselves. Yeah. Heroin addicts scratching themselves. Crack heads. And then it just said, hey, take the Liberty cruise. Take you're free. Don't you know that you're free, dummy? It's going to be fun.

It's going to be fun. How long have we done here? We're at hour 15. I like to go to Battery Park. I think that would be such a great. Yeah, we get a little rent to talk. So I get with those microphones. Welcome to New York.

I love New York sometimes. I happen to like New York. I happen to like New York. Now, see, now, you're you it has it has a thing. I listen to because I happen to like New York. I happen to like New York. I like to go to Battery Park. I like to go to Battery Park.

And then the whole the whole place is swaying and all the kids are happy. There's just a magic to it. There's a magic. So maybe you're in a big white suit. Kids around Christmas. OK, that's not the lyrics. Kids around Christmas. Not fucking I'm just having them around because they're fun.

They make you think about the future. If you did, I happen to like New York. I happen to like New York. I like to eat brain at this place in Queens. I added an immediate conglomerate to trailing. I do enjoy the Uber pool. I had my phone stolen by a high beast. I still love New York.

I like to eat hot dogs in the rain. Yeah, you got to come out to Los Angeles a little bit. Sure, you get you got to get the vibe of it. Because, you know, hot and it's it's you got to wear like Supreme and you're going to start skating. You mean I mean, I could I have a skate park right next to me. I want you to start skating and then start wearing Supreme and become a high beast. I mean, I don't think most skaters are hypebeats, are they?

I have a skate park. I live near your skate park. Well, I'm just saying I go hang out there and like, you know, no. I think what you should do, though, is you come to LA and you get the idea. It's nice and warm. Yeah, it feels nice. It's on fire. Sure. You know, people are going to blame me for the fire.

People should. People might, you know, they absolutely could blame. No, I mean, I would love to go out there. I mean, I could probably get a job out there and well, I don't know about that. You should get a job. Can you get a job? I can probably get another job or some sort. Interesting. Interesting. What does Lucy feel about that?

Well, she might look if she gets a writing job. She wants to like, she keeps trying to get a writing job. So if my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle. What does that mean? Lucy's Lucy's work for, you know, I'm not saying that Lucy's not going to get a writing job. I'm saying there's too many ifs. Well, what do you say? Like, well, I mean, if we have a week, we have a writing job here.

No. So then so then so then what's the, you know, I'm saying that's like, if that happened, we'd immediately move. Okay. But I'm saying we talk about going to LA. Okay. I'm not going to write a job. Who knows? Yeah. Who knows? Can all get writing jobs.

I'm just saying it might be interesting to take a little vacation. I would love to, yeah, to see what it's about. We might do that soon. You could stay with me, you know, on the street in front of my house. Sure. You know, you and Lucy can stay right on the street. And you could see the whole operation out there. Like Skid Row? Well, yes. I mean, Skid Row is not even anything.

I mean, it's like, it's pretty, it's a pop post-apocalyptic. Right. Well, all of downtown LA is really, which no one goes to downtown. Downtown is like the city of LA, like the city with the skyscrapers. Terminator. No one's know who was in those building record companies. Some rich people that have big lofts and some artists. Right. I mean, like, what companies are down? Like, what kind of company?

Let me ask you this question. What kind of company export huge? OK, biggest, biggest, biggest input export in LA. Everything comes from China through LA, massive companies like that. OK, so like commercial shipping. Yeah, but there's some rich people down there. But I think the majority of rich people live in the hills. The LA life is a suburban life.

Right. So nobody wants that city. When you go downtown LA, like, what is this? Right. You know, where I live in West Hollywood, that's the LA that people know about or Beverly Hills or go down to the beach, like Santa Monica, Venice. Can you Airbnb, Beverly Hills? You get in there, you think? No, I mean, parts of it may be, but not what you're thinking about.

Right. I mean, yeah, I mean, there's probably there's a houses there that you could rent for a hundred grand a week or something. Oh, you know, who? Yeah, I mean, there's some there's some homes you could probably. What if I let them fuck me? It would probably be you'd have to pay more for that, you know, you'd have to pay it'll be 150 grand, you know. But no, I would be it'll be interesting to see what your I think you should come

in January when it gets frozen. Sure. I mean, I'll start saving up for you. You know, I mean, it's not that expensive. No, no. I mean, I'll put the money aside. What? I'm saying I'll put the money aside. You'll come. Yeah, for a ticket. You know what I'm saying? For a trucker, for a trucker, because you've only you've never flew coach.

I've never flown coach. I don't know what it's like. You you complain a lot about coach. Yeah, I've only flown first class. And Ray is true. He's only for about first class. Right. To and from New Orleans. Yeah, one, yeah, put two time that crab cakes on the way there.

And I think some kind of pilaf on the way back. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. And you and that is the only flight you've been on. Yeah. And it was first class. That is the way to do it. I mean, it wasn't even that nice. Kind of the way to do it. Well, yeah, it's not that long of flight.

You'd think it'd be like Leather recliners or something, but it's just kind of like whatever. Yeah, it's a nice. It's like a coach bus. It's it was what airline? Delta. Yeah, I mean, a little nicer in the coach bus, but like it's a short flight. What's New Orleans? Three and a half, two and a half, maybe two and a half, three.

I want to go back to New Orleans. That was a great city. When does it? It's cold though now, right? No, no, I went there in December and it was like 70s. Yeah, that's right. You're right about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got to get down. Oh, yeah, it gets cold really. I mean, that's a good point.

It probably doesn't get that cold. Yeah. God, I missed that place. Yeah, Brennan. Maybe I should go there. Maybe I'll just go maybe Thursday or Friday. I'll just ditch my spots and go there. Yeah, get some egg soosard. Oh, it's the best.

Yeah. Egg soosard is the best. If you're in New Orleans, go to Brennan's. Get the egg soosard. It's a big band. I think we're like a wine reduction in sauce, which is like a pour wine, a red wine reduction, whatever. Yeah, so good.

It's just so good. New Orleans and those hotels, you can get really nice hotel, super cheap, really good. Really good, really interesting. Yeah, man. Yes. Maybe you have to be a guy from New Orleans. I'd like to go to Battery Park. Yeah, like Mark Norman said to me once, he's like,

like my truest form is like a guy sweating in a white suit in Commander's Palace in New Orleans, like hitting on the waiter, right? Like making him very uncomfortable. Yeah. He's like, boy, go and get me some butter. You know what butter is, don't you?