The Tim Dillon Show - 180: 180 - History Hyenas

Episode Date: December 29, 2019

Tim has on Yannis Pappas and Chris Distefano of the History Hyenas podcast. They talk boomers, reactionary political groups, and why Tim cancelled his trip to Epstein's Island. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, I'm Timmy the Trash Can, and I love trash. Popcorn boxes, pots, and candy wrappers. They all taste so good. Instead of throwing your trash on the floor, won't you please give it to me? Thank you for considering your fellow patrons. Yeah, no, you can afford it. We see your Patreon, you're doing good. I'm doing okay, but it's like, you know, listen, there's no middle ground in New York. You either go big or it is what, you know, there is like... Are we podcasting? Yeah, we're on. We're on right now. This is Tim DeLionis Poppers, Chris DiStefano, take two. This is going out.

Yes. So everybody behead. We think it's going out. This is going out. You can't make a declaration like that at the beginning. I mean, when this kid, when you're a producer, what's his name, Ray? Ben, when he opened the door, I almost kissed him right on the lips. I mean, this kid opened the door and I said, is this my Grinder date? I understand why Sal Volcano wants to get inside you. Yeah, I mean, it was awkward. Sal stopped the episode.

I was like, this guy's a hottie. I know, I love it. So I was like, I could get him work. He's got a model. I said, here's what he's going to do. He's going to be an audio engineer. Yeah, let's take a right turn so we can release this episode. Yeah, let's send him in. We already can't release it. Here's the deal. Your first, your last hotel room that we did a podcast. It was 9-11. Room 9-11 in the Carlisle.

Now your hotel room is 2001. 2001. I don't know what that means, but I think you had something to do with fucking 9-11. It's very interesting. You're absolutely right about that. It's something, there's something odd about that. 9-11 and then 2001. That's fucking creepy. It's weird. It's almost like the government is following you and they...

Well, we just decided, we were going to do a video on Epstein's Island. We just decided not to. Yeah, right. I thought about it. I just thought about it. You know what? Why poke the bear? No, but here's the deal. We weren't going to... Nothing's going to happen to you.

You don't know that. Because no, the guys who... The secret agents or whatever fucking NSA people are listening to your podcast or whatever, they love it. Right. So it's like, they just not going to do anything to you. I mean, those of you that got... They enjoy it.

It's for them. Yeah, when you said I was sitting in Long Island with a mound of coke and a car saying, we need to listen to Rush Limbaugh saying, we need to honor our contract with the people of Iraq. They were going like, this guy is going nowhere. Sorry, boss. Yeah. We intend to follow him, but it's because we're protecting him.

Yeah, we need him. This guy. Yeah, but we were going to do a video. My friend works in the Virgin Islands. We were going to do a video. We're going to roll up to Epstein's Island and just hop off and do a little video in front of that temple where God only knows what he was doing in there. Yeah.

And then I thought about it and I'm like, this kid's getting married in five months. Some other kid wants to come and film. I said, I can't lead these fucking kids. Wait a second. Did you get a call from his mom? Like, uh, like in the movie almost famous where they're going like, just make sure my son is safe. Okay.

Keep him safe. I don't know what you're doing with your rock star lifestyle, but you can't bring my son to Epstein's Island. Yeah, no, I didn't, but I just didn't want to like watch him get pushed off a cliff by a groundskeeper on Epstein's Island and then have to fucking go tell his fiance. Like, I'm sorry. He was great. He was a great editor.

Yeah. He really understood what I was about comedically. Yeah. And here's the other thing. I don't want to believe that the world is run by pedophiles, but let's be honest. There's harder things to prove, you know? There's harder things to disprove than that. Yeah.

Right. You would, you would have a real hard time proven that that wasn't at least partially true. Yeah. Something about, something happens when you climb up the ladder of power. Yeah. And it unlocks a very dark sexual loss. Something's there.

It's like the top level of Mario Brothers. Yeah. And it's like you get there and it's not a princess. It's just like an illegal little boy. Well, because what excites you anymore? You know what I mean? You've done everything. You've done it.

Like John, I know for a fact when John Travolta first started to become famous or he was just having sex with women and then he had sex with all the women and then it started to be like only guys are going to excite me. And I'm going to be honest with you, Tim. I'm getting close. Right. Right. I'm getting close to that level too.

Well, you fucked a lot of chicks. I fucked a lot of chicks. You might want to just slow it down. Yeah. Well, yeah, Chlamydia slowed it down. Right. So Jesus intervened. Yeah.

He took the wheel and it was drippy. So I'm on meds now and I, but I feel good. Yeah. So I have to slow it down nature-wise. But my point is, is that if you gave a guy like me, I'm a nice person. I've told by my peers, I'm a nice person. I love, you know, my daughter. I love God.

But if you gave me hundreds of millions of dollars and gave me this power, it's a real problem. I may start to do things. Who knows? Like, Giannis was commenting on how beautiful a horse is. We saw a horse walking by because we're in fucking midtown. He said, don't you think now you can see how easy it is for a person to get attracted to a horse? Yeah.

And I said, absolutely not Chris. Right. Because I don't see so much pussy and so much Latina ass to them. Like, what about the horse? I like the horse. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. So, you know, your fiance, yeah, you're going to get a load on your back. That's why AOC is right. She's right. Now, now Stalin AOC, they're all right. Yeah.

Nobody should have that much money or power. Yeah. We should all just be Stalin in the car. Yeah. We got to knock them down a little bit. We need to take a little bit of the money. Yeah. We need to take a little bit of money.

Yeah. You got to fuck kids in a hotel. Yeah. You can't have an island. Yeah. You can't have your own island. No. You can't have your own island.

You got to reign it in. Right. Because this carpet's disgusting. I had to go downstairs and start screaming, going, what is good? Do people come in and jerk off on the carpet when I'm out? Yeah. Something's going on. This place smells like a hostel.

Yeah. No, it's not. It was a buck 40 a night. Yeah. And that's crazy. That midtown is that cheap. It's cheap. Downtown is where the big prices are.

Yeah. That's where hedge fund managers are bringing their harems. Yeah. It used to be up here. It used to be up here. Yeah. Now they're downtown and I'm up here. Podcasting is going on up here.

Yeah. Confused Norwegian tourists. Yeah. You know? Yeah. So like, I'm here for a bit. I'm here for like a 10 day thing. It's like, you got to try to stay under 200 if you're going to be here 10 days.

Why don't you go stay with your family on Long Island? You just, you don't want to deal with that. Because they're boomers and they're fucking out there complaining about something. Right. I mean, they're complaining about inheriting houses. Yeah. This is where my family's at now. Yeah.

They're inheriting homes and they can't handle it because they got to renovate them. Yeah. You get over 30. You cannot stay with your family. You can barely stay with friends unless they're very wealthy and have like a wing of their house. When you're over 30, the sleepovers are done. I wake up with crippling anxiety.

Like, we're all crazy. Right. I can't wake up and somebody else is fucking home at 2 a.m. I'm like, oh God. Yeah. I go to sleep at 3 a.m. Just so I know my first wake up with anxiety is during the day. Yeah.

So I can go right back to bed. Yeah. I can't wake up at 130 with anxiety. I just can't look out to the dark. Yeah. So I go to bed at 2.30 every night. I wake up at like 5.30. I'm like, well, today's almost here.

Today, the sun will save us. Right. And then I go back to bed for another four hours. Right. I just can't be in somebody else's home. Yeah. No. My family's at my house right now for Christmas.

And it's a little like, I'm honest. I mean, rare form because I've been off women now for a month. I've been solid for a month. And already it's like the anxiety. I've been like, I got to text girls. I got to text girls. But I've just. But Eckhart Tolle told you.

I've been reading The Powers Now by Eckhart Tolle. Beautiful. And I'm being friendly with my present. But that also includes at times like to get the anxiety out. I can't have sex with women. So I went down to Shore Road in Bay Ridge. And I yelled racial slurs at the water. Just get it out.

You got to get it out. You got to get it out. You got to get it out. You got to get it out. And you see my Long Island family will just say those racial slurs very calmly on their couch. This is what I love. Yeah.

Very sweet. And just like CRB. This is what I love about boomers in Long Island. Right. It's a specific type of boomer. Explain a boomer one more time. Explain a boomer. Explain a boomer.

A baby boomer. Okay. They were born after World War II when we needed to replenish the population. And people started pushing out people. They believed in, you know, the suburban home suburbs were invented. So most of the boomer. Yes. When America went downhill was after World War II.

Even when you get real estate, everyone asks, is this a pre-war building? Because they made shit good then. Right. And after World War II, they just threw up cardboard boxes to sell an American dream that doesn't exist. Right. And Long Island is like the paradise of that dream. It's like a microcosm of what it looks like all across the country.

It's a disaster. It's strip malls. It's Panera breads. It's holding buzzers to get tables at dinner at Outback Steakhouse. Got it. It's all an illusion. There's nothing good about it. And that's, by the way, those are the positive qualities.

The negative qualities are my football coach. Fuck me. I'm on heroin. Right. I'm like, but your mother's a boomer, but she's a city kid. Right. She's born and raised Queens in New York. Yeah.

Different. Listen, a true boomer to me, and this is, this is, means nothing. It's just my own, the way, my concept of them in the mind is the suburbs. So true boomer. Like if you're in New York or Queens or Brooklyn or even like if you're in LA to an extent, even though it's the suburbs, or if you live in Chicago, yes, you're still a boomer. But to me, the real boomer experience is the suburbs. Yeah.

Your, your, your parents moved out of the city. Your grandparents probably grew up in a city. They got out. They live in the suburbs. You stayed in the suburbs. You were raised in the suburbs. Yeah. By the way, it was all a market.

The modern American dream was all a marketing ploy by the auto lobby. Right. And they capitalize on the white need to stay away from minorities. Right. And then sure. And then their kids realized, oh no, the minorities were all the funnest. Right. Cause when you sit in an Applebee's bar.

Right. And like, you know, and journey comes on. Right. And white people start swaying. Yeah. Like, where's the gun in your mouth? Yeah. You're like, where's the salsa club?

Yeah. Where's Q-Tip DJ? Yeah. You know, it's like, so their kids, I applaud the millennials who are moving back. Yeah. It's just get rid of the wokeness. Right. Get rid of the wokeness.

You can walk for so long, you're starting to fucking hallucinate. Right. It's time to take a nap. Take a nap. Go to sleep. Well, we, what's interesting about trans women aren't women. They're not. And do you feel this kid when he's sleeping?

Cause I want to tell his mom he's not safe. It's in his contract. Yeah. I understand. You have to make sacrifices. Yeah. Ray Ray. Do what you want to do.

Ray Ray. If you think Timmy's not jerking off above this pull out couch when you're sleeping, you got another thing coming. Ray, when you wake up and your lips are a little wet. It is Ben. Ben. I'm going to call you, I'm going to call you whatever I want to call you fucking twink.

Yeah. You'll, you'll, you'll. Listen, Ray. Listen, Ray's parents. We know you're tuning in. This is the only, this is the only relationship where you can abuse someone. I couldn't abuse him if he was a writer on my show. Right.

Cause he'd go complain to HR and there'd be five articles, but nobody cares about a podcast producer. Yeah. Nobody gives a shit too. You can get raped. I mean, Bobby Kelly used to punch that girl on the face. Yeah. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. Yeah. Louis Gomez was on, you know what, through the other day and they were asking me to show them her underwear. Yeah. You have to do it. Nobody cares. Yeah.

Shannon Lee's, they rape her. It doesn't matter. Speaking of trans women. Right. See, now we're good. Now we're floored with not being able to release it. Yeah. It's going out, but when women.

This is going out no matter what. Yeah. When they get to Italian, they are trans. Yeah. They're a little trans. Yeah. When they get to Italian, something wrong happens. Yeah.

It's just like when women get to Irish, when women are too. Yeah. Too much of anything is not a good thing. It's not good. It's just they overload, but the boomers, really it's the fifties and sixties is when they were, they had like, my dad is a technical boomer. Yeah. That was born in 1952.

Yeah. When they came up during the whole hippie wood stock was in a band and then turned around and all of a sudden he's selling office equipment for a kidney boss. Yeah. This is like the typical boomer. By the way, that part of it is what we, that's what we need. We need that. We need to sell out.

Yeah. Yeah. The millennial, because the millennial generation is kind of like the boomer generation. The war is over. There's a big peace time. There's prosperity. Right. They got all these ideals.

There's idealism. They're holding signs. No. It's like we need that generation to just realize it's time to get a job. You can't do open mic comedy forever. Yeah. You have to do something. My dad didn't like his job, but that's okay.

He wasn't good at it and he came home every day and he laid on the couch and watched Sally Jesse Raphael or whatever the hell was on TV. Sure. He just, he did what he had to do to raise me. He wasn't thrilled about it. And then my mother was a wiki watch. She mermaid in Florida. You want to talk about real serious jobs where she would swim around in a tank and truckers

would jerk off because the strip clubs weren't open yet. Yeah. It was a, so this is how seriously they took life. Yeah. Your dad might be Frank Sinatra. Yeah. We don't know. We don't know.

If your father, if your father had enough energy. By the way, there's a lot of kids in that generation whose father might be Frank Sinatra. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. No, but it's like if your father has enough energy, like now all these fathers have energy because they're not working. Right.

It's like our dads, they couldn't, because they were fucking exhausted. They were doing shit. So they couldn't play with me. So I had to learn myself. Right. I had to learn how to play basketball and do things like that myself. Yeah. Well, my father's different because he's a criminal, but a lot of fathers.

But he still worked. He still worked. That's a job. That's a job. You know what all the pin numbers are and the count numbers. Yeah. To steal the money from your son's comedy money is a job. He also cleaned out your mom's account too.

Absolutely. No. The kids. He's Stanley's cleaner. Yeah. I mean, the kid likes to put a little money on horses. He puts a little money on the horses. It's what it is, you know?

Yeah. It's what it is. And then he wants you in the basement. Yeah. What can you do? But that's what happened to them. Like, you know, one picture was my dad at Woodstock and it was not quite at Woodstock, but at one of those days.

And then the next picture was he's like in an ill fitting suit. Yeah. Trying to knock over small businesses and some copiers. You know, it's just, that's what it was. But that really encapsulates the generation of boomers. Right. Because yeah, they grew up listening to Bob Dylan. Right.

Smoking weed, trying to find the third eye, screaming about world peace and how Vietnam's a paradise. Right. And then it just kind of ended with them screaming about MS-13. Right. They're just, it's always MS-13. Well, they're, we're being invaded by MS-13. It's a perpetual culture of victimhood.

Like they're the original victims. Yeah. People don't understand how do millennials get out? Yeah. How do millennials become victims? The boomers are the original victims. Absolutely. Because they're the people that got, they inherited the money.

They got the cheap loans, the cheap credit. They got the GI bill. Well, they're not the GI bill, but they got the runoff of the GI bill, which was the big inherited house in Long Island, Leviton, everything. But they still, the cards have been stacked against them somehow. Somehow, some way, my parents, well, I can't, my father always says the same three things in perpetuity. He goes, can't get ahead.

Yeah. Can't get ahead. He's like, they're always trying to get you. Yeah. He's like, I'm just trying to stay out of trouble. He's like, who, who's trying to get you? Who's trying to get you? Who's trying to get you?

Who's trying to get you? Your need to go play piano at a fucking restaurant? Yeah. Who's trying to get you? My father will literally say, he will literally say, no matter what you say to him, his response, if you say to him, dad, I killed a man, his response will be, he goes, you know, the older I get, the more important I realize it is to golf. Yeah.

He goes, get out there. He goes, play nine holes if you have to. He goes, you get to my age, you regret it. You regret it. He regrets not playing more golf. That's what is regretted. That's what is regretted. That's his regret.

The suburbs is a mistake. Yeah. The strip malls are a mistake. It's an absolute horror show. Yeah. It is a wasteland. Yeah. It's a real corporate capitalist wasteland.

Yeah. By the way, I just want to say hello to all Tim's friends who are listening, you motherfuckers. Yeah. With cocaine on your fucking ties. Yeah. Listen to me. I know our last episode wasn't fucking funny. Yeah.

And I agree with everything you say and your real people, and I appreciate it because you got real sets of humor, but this one's fucking funny. You're fucking long on time suckers. This one's funny. You piece of shit. You piece of shit. You fucking cock suckers. But when Chris is here, the dynamic changes from two fucking arrogant assholes to three

funny kids. Listen, they can't have, every episode can't be funny. You need something to listen to while you wait for your Dewey lawyer to show up in a diner. Yeah. Okay. Because you need, you can't be chuckling when your Dewey lawyer shows up to the Westbury diner and says, so this is number three.

Yeah. You're doing time. You're gonna do a little. While you're sitting there reading the, reading the local sci-acid ads on your paper fucking because you were a little fucked up at Lilly Flanagan. Yeah. You should have taken an Uber, but that bitch pissed you off and you said, fucking, I'm in charge of my own destiny.

I'm just going to barrel down the parkway. That's what it is. Yeah. Go get your fucking sushi at a restaurant that has this podcast on and hit the elliptical at Life Fitness. Yes. What it is. Once you get out there, the boomer mentality is so pervasive.

Kids are boomers. Like 19 year olds. Their favorite musician is Billy Joel. That's ridiculous. It's wild. They don't modernize. Yeah. It's like, when I start to get into comedy, right?

When I first started to get into comedy, this is when I started to meet this new kind of person. Cause when I grew up in Ridgewood, Queens, everybody's kind of like, you know, everybody's dad works. Everybody's dad's in the union. So it's like, my, our dad's really worrying around. So we're listening to Jay-Z or whatever it was supposed to be. You know, even comedy.

It's like, I used to watch, you know, Jay Leno with my mom, whatever. Cause I slept in the bed with my mom. It was about 16 years old. It's what it is. Yeah. And, and, but then it's like, I started, I started to feel so much secure when I first started to get into comedy, 2019, 2010. All these kids like, you don't know any Beatles songs.

You don't, you don't know, you don't, you've never heard of Lenny Bruce. It's like, yep, my dad was a real guy. Right. You know, my mom's a real person. It's like, you, I don't know what you and your fucking homo dads are playing. Like if you listen to the Beatles and you're 18, you're fucking weird to me. Culture was a way to rebel and the way to be like, fuck our parents. We want something that's our own.

And the weird thing about Long Island is it's a lot of kids that they want to become their parents. That's the goal. They don't want to do better than their parents. Like we looked at our parents and we were like, okay, great, but we want to do something else. Something different. We're fucking young.

We want to do something else. A lot of them we looked at and we're like, you know, they're in it. Uh, you know, maybe they were in a trap or maybe they're in a job that didn't excite us. I looked at my dad. I'm like, he doesn't like what he does. Yeah. Doesn't like what he does.

And then, and you want to do something else. You want to kind of break that cycle. And then not everyone can obviously, and you make a lot of sacrifices too. But that's the thing. That's where a lot of these, those boomer ideals and what I love about it. And it's just that Fox news kind of culture of like, we're being invaded. Everybody's killing us. MS 13 door.

MS 13's at your door, ready to kill you every minute. So you need, uh, you know, Tucker Carlson to keep you safe. Donald Trump's going to keep you safe from MS 13. Yeah. Yeah. Let's be honest. If your dad is not voting for Trump, he's pushing the family in the wrong direction right now.

I just want to be on record saying that because if he's believing in what the left can do, and I'm a more liberal person, but it's like, you want to hope that your dad, like I'm in charge of my family. So the votes go into Trump because I'm trying to push this thing. I'm trying to give my daughter a future. And I know the Casio Cortez of the world. They'll take it. They'll ruin my daughter's life.

It's a bad choice. It's a bad choice. It's a real bad choice. Well, it's just, we were talking last night, Tim, it's like, uh, it's the same play over and over and over again. It's Mao, it's Stalin, it's this, it's Che Guevara. It's a, and you know, the thing about the, the boomer generation is when, when you take a course in college on counterculture and the sixties and things like that about the

boomers, when they were teenagers, whatever, they're, they're, they're the heroes of the story. They're the heroes of the story. And then there's this other side on the other side of just these white men who have crew cuts, who are on the other side holding guns at the kids, holding flowers who were androgynous. And it's like, there's a good guy, bad guy kind of fetish fetishization of those two sides that removes all nuance, which is where kind of the liberal, the modern liberal arts

kind of inculcation has started. It really started with the boomers saying, these are the bad guys, we're the good guys. This is the illusion of doom. These are the superheroes. But it's like, you know what, those kids were crew cuts, did bad things, and those kids with long hair who were androgynous, Karen Flair, did bad things. And now you know, it's like, my dad would say, you know, my dad was in the Korean war and he would say, he would say, you know, I feel bad for what happened.

My dad was, because he fought in the war and no wars are good. But you know, when my dad was old, like the weeks before his death, I wanted, I like, it hit me. I was like, you know what, you were kind of fighting for something good. Right. Look at North Korea now. Right. It's not good.

Right. There's something off about the utopian notion of everyone being equal because it's, go look at nature. It's the opposite of nature. Absolutely. And if you want to survive and succeed, imitate nature. Yeah. Nature needs to allow for the strongest to fucking survive.

I'm a capitalist. I'm a libertarian now. Yeah. Donna's moved to the suburb for two weeks and now he's just walking around. There's almost 13 everywhere. He's got a fascist haircut now. Absolutely. He's really fashy.

Yeah. No, he's fashy right now. You know what I mean? It's removed nuance and it started with the boomers and it started with the counterculture. There was a lot of good causes that they have, but they're fetishized. Yeah. They're fetishized. But you also got to look at like what I think a lot of the boomers did was they just took

every, they didn't think about what was good long-term for anything. Right. Everything was about take it, get it, buy it, consumerism, mortgage crisis. Just give me. There's a lot more. Bigger house, bigger pool, bigger, they are the most materialistic generation. They're not really religious or spiritual. They don't, there's that, you know, my grandfather's generation, they had war.

Your father's generation had war. They had honor and valor. And even those things that aren't great and wars aren't good, but they had other things. The boomer generation is defined to me almost exclusively by materialism. Sure. Things, it's houses, cars, wants, needs, but more wants, you know? Cruises, dinner. Don't you think it went from one extreme to the other?

Yeah. They went from one extreme of like, we're against all that to like total indulging in that. Yeah. The total indulgence is what leaves you feel empty. That's why everybody in Long Island is walking around trying to shoot up to feel anything. Because, you know, once you have the pool and the house and the car and everything else, it's empty. Now what?

And modernity leaves you feeling empty. And the boomers have just said, well, we're just going to take another cruise. We're just going to eat another lavish dinner. Right. We're going to, you know, we're going to go to another vacation. We're going to go see Fleetwood Mac again. We're going to go just, it's just over and over again. I mean, I remember this is a great boomer moment.

My friend's girlfriend got arrested for impersonating people. She was cashing fake checks. She was on Indiana's most wanted. Okay. Yeah. Isabelle. She was a stripper. Fun woman.

Yeah. She's just going to 10 years or her fourth viewing Chicago. 10 years. She's in jail right now. They don't fuck around there. They go, you're going in for 10. She's got three kids. They're black.

She's not. Is what it is. The point is this. The point is this. She's fun. She's not a racist. So she, but she kind of is also. So here's the other thing.

The cops show up at the house. My friend, Ryan, great kid, juice head answers the door. Big guy, bigger than you. Makes you look like a little twink. Yeah. Big guy. Absolutely. Answers the door to cops.

Goes, Isabelle here. He goes, no. He goes, let me explain you how this works. He's a state trooper. They go, we have extradition or whatever they call the treaty. Like, like, not treaty, but you know, we got to get her out of here. She, you know, Indiana state police, she's on the most wanted. So the reality is we have a warrant to search this property to come in here.

And if we find her in here, you're an accessory now. If you don't tell us where she is right now. So I'm going to ask you again, where is she? And my friend, Ryan, looked at them and he went, she's in the kitchen. So they walk in, they take her out and coughs, everything like that. I'm having dinner at his house that night. His girlfriend that he'd been seeing for two years, Indiana's most wanted, just got taken out.

My friends, Ryan's parents, who I love, best people in the world, are talking about buying a condo in Naples. That's all they could talk about was buying a condo in Naples. And would it be near the beach? What should be near the beach? And it's just like these, it was a generation of people where it was about them. It was about them. So even the protesting, which was about, was supposed to be about other people.

That was about them. It's a little narcissistic. It was actually all about them. Well, I would see it. I see it right now. Christmas time is coming up when my grandfather was still alive, who was in his, you know, he died in his late seventies. And this was in the late nineties, but he would always say,

because my mother is all about what Christmas, I mean, the piles of presents and the stress are through the roof. What do you need temperature control? I'm just making it a little cooler. A little cooler. Yeah. Well, my grandpa would always say, he would always be like, this isn't what Christmas is about.

No, stop with the gifts. Stop with the gifts. Get them one thing. Get them one thing. And I always kind of, I always thought about that. Like now me being a father and I'm like, you know, I got my daughter a couple of gifts where like my mother is like, you got to get your daughter 35 gifts.

Like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, because you're saying that consumerism, that capitalism, she was born with that. I really kind of, we can see a little bit better. No. There's an emptiness to it. I think there's an emptiness to it because you, you just chasing. And then, you know, you're just chasing things without meaning. And that becomes the problem.

Like my, listen, I love my dad to death. He's a good dude, but, you know, a lot of his life was defined by the need to have money for these things. Well, it's a more, I think it's the same, I think it's a, like I said, I think it's an American dream that was marketed to them after the world war. Yeah. That, hey, there's this perfect life. When really the American dream is the pursuit of happiness, the pursuit.

If you have an idea, you start a company. That's the real American dream, being your own boss, starting something. You're creative, taking it as far as it can go. The American dream is not the end result. You know, hey, picket fence, car, you know, and that's what was marketed. It was marketed by the auto lobby who, who's really provided the blueprint for what America now looks like coast to coast between the old cities. It's all marketing America.

We're the best marketers and we're the best at condition thinking, thinking. And it's been happening from day one of our country in, we've talked about this on the podcast, even the idea of freedom from the British empire was just a marketing ploy to get more troops. The people at the time didn't even want that in the 1790s. They're like, no, Britain doesn't really beat the shit out of us with a, we just, we just want to be represented in parliament. But George Washington and all those guys and Jefferson were like, you know,

the marketing strategy here is independence and be the free nation. So we get more soldiers to sign up, but that's not really what this was ever about. The Nazis put all those Jews in concentration camps as just a marketing tool to get everybody galvanized. It was marketing. Is there a cause? It's just a marketing tool. It's just a marketing tool. Yeah.

Yeah. Condition thinking. By the way, that middle, that middle, you know, that middle income family is just being squeezed out. I mean, the fucking people are either elite or they're struggling in my family. And during the during Thanksgiving or any holiday, that's all my family talks about because we represent the middle is how the poor get everything and the rich get everything. And the middle is just getting fucked.

The middle does. And it's just true. The middle does get fucked. But on the flip side again, just to, just to remember nuance, which I think needs to come back in our education system. I think the real failure is going on the education system. I think, I think it's not that bad of an idea right now. And then as if you're an 18 or 19 year old kid listening,

I think it's not that bad of an idea to leave college. I don't know if how much college helps you. Number one, nobody cares if you have a degree or not. And all it does is fucking give you those radical, crazy left. Go teach English in China. Go do that. Go teach English in China. Go pursue your career now because nobody cares if you have a bachelor's degree.

They don't care. You're not getting a job. But you got to have a doctorate. Yeah. Which I do and I'm still doing podcasts with Ray and his gay friend. The middle class, the middle class does get fucked. The middle class is disappearing. But on the flip side, you know, I had this sort of,

I had this sort of exchange, this kind of argument, take that tape, if you will, with this liberal like journalist online. And she was saying this, she was saying, you know, the middle... Giannis, by the way, Giannis is Twitter is just watching someone have a breakdown in real time. Which is great. I mean, someone having a breakdown in real time. I mean, he says all the time, I try to step away and I can't... Well, he says, he says, I don't want to put out podcasts because I don't want the heat on us.

And then you look at his Twitter and it's like, what the fuck? All right, shit. Are you tweeting? All you're doing is... He's... He ads Seth Simon. What are you doing? Yeah, he's five-wake up sometimes and he's five...

It's 3 a.m. and I'm on the toilet. I'm watching Giannis and Seth Simon's fight each other. Fighting. I'm like, what is... We got to push back. We got to hold the line, boys. Yeah. How do you think I feel?

Yeah. Because I know when I see those tweets, I'm like, I'm the one who's going to catch the burn of it. Yeah. I'm happy. So what are you... You're in a fight with a journalist. And she's saying all these things and there's truth to that.

Yes. Yes. I mean, we've become increasingly, you know, top level or poor in a lot of ways. But in America, poor doesn't mean poor. Yeah. And that's the other thing. It's like, she said, we're becoming like, what's the Dubai? She says like Dubai.

I go, wait a second. Yeah. There's no indentured servitude happening. Yeah. There's no South Asian slaves being used by oil money Arabs to fucking build high rises. Right. That's not happening. The poor people here are eating meat for a dollar.

Right. You know what I mean? They all got homes. They got phones. Right. More people here have a phone. Yeah. They have the internet.

It's like, so yeah, the middle class being squeezed. Yeah. My tax money is paying for their welfare. Right. Yeah. So that's that too. Sorry. That was from where I apologize.

Yeah. Because how much better do you want it? Compared to what? Yeah. Like I want to ask these protesters. Compared. They go, this is a racist country. Compared to what?

This is the least racist country. Absolutely. We are the least racist country. They'll yell racial slurs in public at the soccer games. Yeah. Europe likes to fucking, they like to, they like to fucking lecture us. And then you watch a soccer game and there's just a whole section doing a Nazi salute. Right.

Right. And they're going to go, that's the conservative party. Right. You're a European conservative party. Because nobody would do that. Yeah. They throw bananas on the fucking field there. Yeah.

It is a little worse there. Yeah. It is a little worse there. But I do think that people are frustrated with, with, with how much rich people have gotten away with. I think that's fair. I think it's fair to be frustrated by how much rich people have gotten away with. Okay.

Communists. Yeah. But it's, yeah. I'm going to have Abbey Martin on next week. Yeah. But it's like capitalism though. These guys are out of control. But that's the game.

We're going to have to bring Abbey on to fucking. But capitalism isn't fair that way. But I mean, what, what do you want? You want it to go back to socialism? What do you think? It's not capitalism. It's not what we're living in is not capitalism. It's institutionalized criminality.

We're half the Senate and Congress are blackmailed by fucking guys on islands, photographing them, have sex with kids, and then they have to go vote for whatever the fuck big business wants. It's not capitalism. It's gangsters, international gangsters. This is not capitalism. These buildings are owned by Russian oligarchs and Chinese amusement park tycoons. Right. Well, that's wrong.

So this is nothing to do with Adam Smith capitalism. This has everything to do with crime, cabals of criminals enriching themselves who are not doing anything democratically. None of this shit's being voted on. It's all being fucking shoved down people's throats. Nobody votes on this shit. Why do you think the biggest proponents of immigration are on the right? They're on the right.

It's it to Koch brothers. It's a chamber of commerce. All these big business guys want to pay these people a dollar so that they don't have to hire black people and they don't have to hire people that are low income in America. So what you see is, you know, these immigration rates are cruel and they suck. And I don't like what ICE is doing. But what happens is when you have these immigration rates, African unemployment, African American unemployment drops, people that are poor in that area then go work in these factories that

were all. So I think there's, I don't want communism. I don't want any type of collectivism. But we do have to rot like the Donald Trump's the result of a system that's been rotted out that people have no faith in anymore. And they're not wrong to not have any faith in it. They're not wrong to not have any faith in a system where the president of the United States can fly to a pedophile island 26 times and then the guy whose island it is gets killed

in jail instead of being held accountable and none of his accomplices are ever held accountable. So they're not wrong to lose faith in that type of system, you know, but I don't. But do you really believe that that will change or can change? I don't know. But I think the frustration is natural and understandable. The idea that you have a system that is completely for one group of people that rich people can buy their way out of prison. They can buy their kids way out of getting caught with drugs.

I mean, up until recently, if you were smoking a joint on 125th Street, you were going to jail for three years and you were going to have a felony conviction and you would potentially in the private prison system. I was going to say the private prison. They're trying to get toothpaste at a low cost. That's make two brushes, you know what I mean? So the reality is you have all this slave labor. That's what it is.

Modern day. Modern day slave labor. I agree with you. Acacia Cortez is annoying. She doesn't have any power. I think you've got to get off Twitter and you realize that people like Acacia Cortez, they don't have any fucking power. Oh, they will though.

No one can. They will. With who Jimmy Fallon? The reality is the guys that have power are still the people that want to sell water and air to you. Right. That's the problem. Here's my question.

Do you really think it's what's your evidence beyond like beyond theory? Yeah. Beyond theorizing. What's your evidence that this is widespread in the norm? What's what do you mean widespread? Like Epstein and what was going on with, you know, is a particular story about Epstein. Well, let's say, wait a minute. The Norman wise.

It's like not everyone is touching kids. No, no. No one's saying that. The Catholic church, almost all of them are touching kids. Yeah, but not everyone's saying everyone's touching kids. I'm saying that when you look at the ability of wealthy people to evade justice. That's the oldest story in the book. If it was your kid, it's not a good story.

It's not a good story. If it's my kid and I'm rich and he gets off, it's a very good story. No. You know what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying here. The reality is if it's someone that you know, if it's a kid that's being abused by somebody who's able to do it with impunity, it's a very big problem. It's also a very big problem.

If people are blackmailing politicians, like all these debates we're having is supposedly this good faith debates about a system that people go in there and say, hey, I think it should be this. Another guy goes, I think it should be this. Let's be in the middle. Let's compromise. Let's make laws. If you go in there and you're fucking owned and blackmailed and you're just not even representing

the people in your district anymore, you're doing whatever the fucking corporation or whoever says you should do because they have power on you and it doesn't have to be sexual blackmail. It could be financial blackmail or anything. But Timmy, OK, NRA is a perfect example. Yeah. Because they lean on all these politicians. Right. They're a powerful lobby.

Yeah. And a younger me would go, you know what, NRA is evil, NRA is evil. And then you go to these places. You go to these places, these districts that we're speaking of. And the people, that's what they want. Right. That's the way they vote. They don't live in a city where everyone's living on top of each other.

They watch fucking snooze and they're paranoid about MS-13 coming into Indiana. I totally understand that. So it's like that is democracy. Sure. Are they brainwashed? Are they marketed to? Yes. So who wants the carried interest loophole on Wall Street?

Who wants that? Who voted for that? Who voted for the idea that people could come into New York City with shellcorps and just buy 10 apartments with blood money because they poisoned a river in Zambia and essentially committed it to you. Freedom, baby. Committed to you. Freedom bought it.

Yeah, but it's not freedom because it's not your name, right? No. You're not buying it under your own name. But you're free to get creative. That's creative. It's crime. It's creative crime. That's crime.

That's why you have a Donald Trump. And I respect it. It's why you have. Well, you've got to start doing more of it, you know? Then you could live in Manhattan. But the point is, yeah, how about that? Yeah. He's talking better at you.

But the reality is, I mean, you can't listen. I know the left's annoying. I hate the left as much as anybody, but it comes from somewhere. This all comes through. Donald Trump comes from somewhere. It's a reaction. Donald Trump comes from the left. It's a reaction.

By the way, Donald Trump comes from the left. Yeah. He's traditionally, his whole life until recently, was left. If you get cancer and you have to declare. He was at home alone. Yeah. He even knew that the economy works better with a little regulation. Yeah.

Because it balances things out. He gets it. But the whole thing is, if you get cancer and you have to declare bankruptcy. And that becomes a problem. Of course. People, if you're rationing your insulin so that you can live while, you know, people, the Kardashians are worth $100 billion and their main export is lip gloss. Yeah.

It gets frustrating. People get angry about that. We just had Neil deGrasse Tyson on. And he just told us, if Jeff Bezos was able to lay all his money in dollar bills in a line, he would have enough money to get from the earth to moon and back 16 times, wrap it around earth 200 times. And then the, with the money left over, be able to like go to Australia or something like that.

Neil deGrasse Tyson could line up all his money on the floor. A large percentage of it would go to paying off women. Yeah. But I understand what you're saying. So that, that can happen there. And I don't even know anything about Jeff Bezos, how he uses a human being. But if that's the case, then yeah, there shouldn't be people having to rationalize. Jeff Bezos is saying that.

Well, and this is where we all come back together. Cause at the end of the day, a lot of these things aren't political. The, the solute, the problems are very deep and the solutions will be maybe they kind of come from technology or science or whatever. A lot of these problems are like the, the system's kind of broken. Facebook, I think is worth how many billions of dollars Ben, you can look that up. It's trillions, billions of dollars. They employ like 40,000 people.

Yeah. You know, GM and its hide employed millions and millions and millions of people. These companies that are not generating as much more wealth are now, Oh, they're 500 billion. 500 billion. How many people do they employ? Well, they employ it because it's all, although everything's being made overseas. Facebook doesn't have a, it's, it's a,

Of course. But I think, but I think the future is scary for the American worker. If you're a worker right now, the future is scary. Future is scary. That's why that's why people they employ 35,000, 500 billion, 35,000 people. But that's why when you watch, when you watch these democratic debates, you'll see a guy like Andrew Yang say, we need a national income. That's what we need.

We need national income. The glaciers are melting. There's going to be no more jobs and nobody, the crowd doesn't even clap because that's boring. But then you'll have another person say, I want to clean the White House because Trump's a pig and they get an applause break. So you're doing it to yourself. I don't want to choose a side either.

The people are the problem. It's like the people are the problem because nobody wants to live in the gray area and the gray areas where most people live. I'm a, it's like, yes, I want free healthcare for everyone because I believe in your injustice, but you know what else? I want the fucking wall. So it's like, I want both. Right.

So it's like, because I get the wall. The candidate who does that will win. Yeah. Wall and healthcare wins. Yeah. Immigration policy and healthcare wins. And I don't want, I'm not saying I want, I don't, I want immigrants to come in. This is beautiful part of the country, but they need to be vetted.

You know what I mean? Well, listen, Donald Trump is right. If you want your healthcare, which we should have. I'm for single-payer healthcare. Absolutely. Single-payer healthcare. But then, you know, you got to, you got to look at, you got to look at the world. You can't have, I agree.

We're the ones fighting evil. It's like Netherlands. Time for you to send more than just a food truck when we go. Yeah. You know, it's like all these other countries that have healthcare, they're able to have healthcare because we go fight their wars and they send fucking food trucks. Yeah, but don't you think a lot of the reason that we're fighting war is just because we need oil and we're also making a lot of money.

Yeah. So I agree with you 110%. The de-issue now is you really can't, it's hard to de-escalate from where we are. That's been my point. It's hard to de-escalate. Why would you want to de-escalate, baby? We're Rome. Just enjoy your Roman citizenship.

Just enjoy the end. Look, this is what's really happening. It's the end. It's the end. There's no solution. What we're doing here is just killing time to make money off doing nothing. Because there's no jobs left. We're just smart enough and fucking criminal enough to fucking steal money from these people

on Patreon. This is not a real job. But we're just charismatic and we're winning. None of this is productive. It's over. Chaos reigns and that's the way it should be. The strongest should survive and the weak should die of disease. Shut up, Lizzo.

The only thing, Lizzo is stronger than all of us. I don't know what I believe on this podcast. I'm just trying to make it entertaining because Tim's friend said the last one was too fucking arrogant. Yeah, I'll go on our podcast right here. My friend Sox, he went to that restaurant Don Angie and he was like, oh, it was okay. He goes him into some Vietnamese fish wife he's dating. They go to Don Angie and they fucking, and then they offer to bring me leftovers.

I'm like, you're going to bring me leftovers like a pig. You don't know anything. That restaurant's fucking great. You big nose fuck. He's got a big nose. You know what I mean? He's selling CBD. I think we should do it.

I think we should make weed illegal and put them all back in jail. That's what I think. All these fucking tech fucking bros running around LA trying to figure out a way to deliver you weed on a fucking scooter. They should all go right back to Rikers. Tim, you know it's over. I do. I mean, look me in the eye and tell me it's not over.

I know it's over. It can't go quicker. Things can't change. No, it's going to fall apart. Yeah. We are an object falling to the ground, picking up speed the closer we get to the ground. You know, here's the thing. It's over.

I didn't know the end would be this hilarious. It's great. That's what no one thought. Yeah. No one thought the end would be like a family guy episode. Nobody imagined the end would be Donald Trump. A game show host. Casio Cortez was a bartender six months ago.

Somebody gave her a book on Marxism and now she's like the political savior of the country. Yeah. Nobody knew how kind of hilarious this would be. Socrates did. Yeah. Socrates did. You go back to the Republic. You go back to the Republic.

Democracy, the longer it goes on, the older people start to pander to the younger people that start to act like that. Yeah. And when everything's okay. He said, remember when he said in the book, everything was okay. Look at it now. Casio Cortez knows better than some 70 year old. He said, we look at old people like they're pathetic.

Their life experience is cynicism. Right. It's like, no, that's called wisdom. You young fuck, you empty vessel of a human being. Here's what Socrates said. He said, here's the example and here's how you know it's going to be over. Right. He said, what you're going to start to see.

MS-13 is going to be everywhere. There's Muslims everywhere. That's what he said. No. He said, he said two things. He said, when one, everything is okay, like Giannis said, because he said, don't forget, at the height of ancient Rome, right before it started to crumble. And I'm all for it too.

Yeah. I love everybody, but it's like, you could do whatever you want. Orgy's industry, it's homosexuality everywhere. There were no rules anymore. You couldn't say anything. Nobody cared. Right. So that's one.

A woman was a man, a man was a woman. It didn't matter. Is that really the way it was? No, I swear to God. Ancient Rome was as liberal as modern day West Village right now. Wow. That's the truth. Yeah.

And then what also he said, he said that you're going to start to see once democracy, the fundamental problem with democracy is not everyone's supposed to be voting. He said, you should go to school to vote. You should get it. You should, you should go only specific parts of the democracy should be elected to the top to even vote. The minute you give everybody the right to vote, what's going to happen is this. And what's happening now is you're going to have a candy shop owner and a doctor.

And the doctor is going to say, candy is bad for you. So, um, you know, candy is bad for you, but I'm telling you, you'll live longer. If you vote for me, they're going to say, fuck you. And the candy shop owner is going to say, I'll give you all the candy you want. Just vote for me. And the candy shop owner will get elected. Yeah. That's what's happening is the candy shop owner.

It's called Plato's Republic. He was getting elected because he was saying, you need to go to school. Like your major in college should be voting. And then we can at least have a better idea of trusting. But there's overall idea that everybody's got the same vote. It's stupid. And he said, it's why he didn't believe in democracy. You know, Greece, they abandoned democracy for a long time.

They invented it, but they didn't use it for a thousand years. Well, we're not even really a democracy. We're a republic. We're not a democracy. The, I, my personal belief, first of all, I just want all your lists to know I'm a liberal kid. By the way, by the way, the idea that anyone believes that at this point is the funniest thing. By the way, that's like me sitting in a chair and being like, I just want everybody to know I'm a vegetarian. Every photo, every photo and video depiction of me has been insanely altered.

Every photo of me eating a ribeye at 2 a.m. at Smith and Walensky's is a lie. I'm a vegetable kid. And you can see my ribs. I'm also a liberal. Everybody's a big liberal here. My audience is conservative. My audience has come out to Texas. I'm a big liberal.

I'm showing development at Comedy Central. Comedy Central, by the way, if you don't know, is a network on television. You know what television is? Yeah. It's the thing in your house that you put your blazer on. Well, let's be honest, the conservative kids are more open minded than liberal kids now. Yeah. Well, the liberal kids are also boring. Yeah, they're boring and they're not open minded.

You know, they're not open minded. No. And they're boring and the problem is... They're fanatics. They're looking comedy audiences. They look malnourished. A lot of the liberal kids look malnourished and they have eyes that are sunken into their skulls. Yeah. They all have roommates. It's like, that's not what I want.

I want conservative kids with the money who are doing things on their own. Yeah. Right. So, Plato's Republic, you know, Plato was advocating for a class of people called philosopher kings. This is common, you know, 101 philosophy shit, but it's kind of true when you think about it. Like, I think the bicameral or tricameral representative body is a good idea. Right. So, every district, every whatever has their representative that interacts with these philosopher kings

or this judicial branch, depending on how you do it. But the president, that branch, the executive branch, that he's elected, you know, with all this money, like you're talking about because obviously that's a problem is the money. That's the part where you're going like, maybe Plato was right. Maybe that guy needed to be a philosopher king. Somebody who is trained or watched by a body like a Yoda or something to be that. He's in for four to six years, but he's not just some fucking game show host that has charisma. Right.

Maybe that guy needs to be tested for his morality, for his temperance, et cetera. What's amazing is that we can't enforce any type of term limits. Like, you should not be... What do you mean? We do enforce them. Well, but not... On the legislative branch, we don't enforce them. Yeah.

So, you should not be a senator for... What do you think about the judicial branch? Should they have term limits? Because that's a little weird, too. That gets political. So, I understand why they don't, right? I understand why they don't because they don't want a judge to be politicized. They're fucking all politicized.

They're voted in for their political views. Yeah, but I just think it's weird that there are people whose entire career as I'm a senator or I'm a congressman. It's like, you should have to go out and function in the world. There shouldn't be your entire career. Yeah. Because you should be able to do it for a certain span of time, six, eight years or whatever it is, and then get out of there.

Because otherwise, these power factions develop just corruptions for everyone. Make it a lot harder, I think. But what if someone's really good at it? Well, then... Then there should be maybe a special exception where they'd have a referendum and they say, we want to keep it. I don't know who's really good at it. I mean, we could figure out how to get to...

We could figure out how to get to Mars. I mean, it's... We should be able to figure out a good, a better, an... To a man or a governing system. I just think we got to recycle more people in there. We can't have people in there forever. But the thing is with America, because people always want to compare America to New Zealand and say, oh, New Zealand changed the gun laws like that.

Because they have five million people. Oh, yeah. When you have so many people and so many... Yeah. No serious person, yeah. No serious person, I think, expects America to... I mean, the country, and my uncle made a good point. He's like, the country's become somewhat ungovernable because it...

You know, now you have... There's so many people. There's 300 million people. I think 350 million. So many cultures. So many people. How do you get... So many podcasts.

So many podcasts. So many people are in America. So many white guys. How many people are in America? And too many white guys. It's just... Is it 350? Hey, fish stick, can you...

Yeah, how many people are in America? How many people are in America? Hey, Ben's parents, comedy's going great, by the way. Yeah. Yo, Ben's actually doing fucking great. I mean, he's making money with his socks on. Yeah, Ben's doing great. 327 million.

Yeah. Ben's doing great. This is the future, Ben. Ben's doing great, yeah. And you've teamed up with one of the funniest guys in the fucking planet. Ben's just sleepy. He's just a sleepy Texas kid. I mean, you could be fucking...

He's a sleepy Texas kid. You could be doing a podcast with Grant Gordon right now. Oh, wow! You're with Tim Dillon, baby. Ah! You're with the hottest fucking commodity. Ben's is... He's just sleepy.

He's going to be nominated. Who's going to be... He's going to... The presidential debate. There's a whole big petition for Rogan to be... I know. He doesn't want to do it. No, he shouldn't do it.

I don't think he wants to do it. Because should we hunt with bows or guns? Shouldn't be a question. No, here's what it would be. I think it would be... I think they would have to give him the leeway to do it the way he wants to do it. Right. Which is not do these little one-to-two-minute samples.

He should also limit the pictures of elk and jalapenos. Well, he loves it. His favorite meat. I know, but we get it. We get it. If America... He could fucking hunt me with a bow and eat me for winter if I can get on his podcast. If America could start eating, was it the way to do that?

I love you, Joe Rogan, but it's the same fucking photo. It's the same fucking photo. What he puts on Instagram. That's the way to get on the podcast. I'm just being honest. I'm just being honest. Listen, I'm the biggest cock in this fucking room. I'm just being fucking honest.

You know what? It's the same fucking photo. Right. It looks delicious, but it's the same fucking photo. He loves it. You know, listen, he hunts it. He eats it. He cooks it.

It's healthy. I mean, this is what... I got nothing but love and respect for Joe Rogan. Yeah. I think that he would be a great interviewer if they allowed him to do it the way he wants to do it. I would... You know?

It's the only way to really get the masses of young voters, which is what they want to watch. Right. Nobody's going to watch it when they have... It's too boring for the kids. I think Joe Rogan would agree. Get Joe Rogan to do it. I think Joe Rogan would agree that it's scary that a comedian, a great comedian, a great

comedian who interviews anyone, there's a lot of people turning to him to do the interviews. It's scary that we're at it. The real problem right now is how fucking low the journalism industry has steeped. We got these journalists with their own Twitter accounts tweeting out digs. It's like, I just saw this fucking woman from Politico doing a big story on Giuliani. Keep it about Giuliani. She tweets about Giuliani's 20-year-old assistant, who's hot, by the way, who's hot, taking a picture with the president.

It's like, you don't have any respect for that 20-year-old's family, her name. She's the assistant. How's she part of the story? Right. How's she part of your story? Well, I mean, I have no respect for journalists because they don't exist. I mean, there's like seven of them in the country. Look at what we do on the history.

I mean, Yanis will write quotes from the New York Times. Why not? Why not? That's fucking special. Why not? I mean, it's not the best fucking podcast in the world. If Jenny's special was the best, I love her, she's hilarious, but that's special, I didn't even know if it was stand-up.

I'm just being honest right now. I don't know what the fuck it was. Well, people writing about anything. Tackle all that out. Do you have a tackle button? Leave it in the broken stuff, but we don't want to piss off Slate. Yeah. I mean, just, can we edit that out?

I mean, she's very, very funny. Leave it in, guys. We're living in a world where it's like, they're telling me, what was it, 20 minutes and then another 40 minutes of interviews with her family? Yeah. And then you're telling me it's great. It's like, I'm confused by it. I think she's very, very funny.

Well, the people that are writing about comedy are, they really prefer comedians. I want that edit out. Here's the thing. Nothing gets edited out. You got to edit that out or I'm not signing a disclaimer. No, what do you think Jenny Slate's putting you in her fucking Amazon show? That's true. She hates me too.

What are you out of your mind? She hates me too. She wants you delivering pizzas. I think she's funny at least. I do too. Let me tell you what she wants you. Let me tell you what would happen if you were to party in Hills with her and John Mulaney. He would walk up to you and hand you a glass of wine and keep walking.

So let's get that shit straight right away. The other thing is this. The people writing about comedy right now are writing about it from a perspective of what comedians either would have dated me in high school or wouldn't have thrown me in a locker. That's what it is. No, there's no, there's no healthy human being writing about comedy. I don't care who you are. Right.

It's just not Jason Cinnamon at the Times wishes he was reviewing theater. His mom was a big-wigging theater and was great. Right. Joy Cinnamon or whatever. She had a whole theater company. He's reviewing comedy. Which you're basically. Not theater.

Right. Cloud. He's reviewing Cloud. Meg Wright, who's a sweet girl, but crazy. I've offered to have her come on the podcast. She won't come on the podcast because she gets scared to, I guess, leave her apartment. Yeah. Okay.

And Seth Simons is like the personification of Ringworm. Yeah. So. Ah. You did. You did not even real. You're Marlowe Stern, this guy GQ, and they're not real, they're trying to make GQ woke. Yeah.

Jane Mayer, Seymour Hart, there's a few fucking real people that are actual. Chris Hedges. Chris Hedges that went to a war and is it, you know, is, you know, Chris Hedges is, is in time. Every moment of joy has been drained from his body, which is what a real journalist should be. Yeah. Um, yeah.

You're absolutely 100% stone called correct. I just want to do it all over again. I went to the nutcracker. What you're saying is if you're writing about the comedy scene, you're basically in the open mic scene of journalism. Yeah. Absolutely. You're not even open.

Whatever it is, I went to the nutcracker the other day and I saw all these little families in suits that all live in places like Scarsdale and Bronxville and the East side and the West side. And I said, I just want to do it all over again where my family just really pushed me to just get into a better real, like a real good college. It just been, would have been an elite guy. It's just, I just want to have a slate gray suit and I just want to just have a nice, you know, little, little brownstone and that, that's my fantasy life is you just do it all

over again. Like this is what I would tell you because you're a great dad, steer the ship as much as you can because the boomers didn't steer the ship. They were like, just go to college, doesn't matter what college, figure it out. It'll be great. Enjoy it. We got a good community college. You'll go that.

You'll do it. They didn't steer the ship. Steer it. When she starts to get like nine, 10, you really start steering that ship. And by the time kids are fucked right now, by the time they're like 17, because nobody put the work in from the jump to get them where they could be. You're basically saying be a tiger mom. You got to be that.

Why are the Asians winning? You wouldn't have a podcast producer if there was tiger moms. That's true. That's true. Parents said, go do, go live your dream. He moved to L.A. There's always sitting on a fucking couch. There's always going to be enough.

There's always going to be enough runoff in the world. Do you understand? For people like me, there's always going to be enough damaged people like me and people like him that will find each other in the house of pies in L.A., which is where we are. Two closet and gay kids like me and Chris will find each other. 100%. But for everybody else, for those traditional people, make sure your fucking kids are on

a track in high school. Sounds like social engineering, though, in a little strike against freedom. You got to engineer them from the familial point. So what team are you on? Are you on the left or right? I'm on the career. Yeah. I'm on the team of...

Why are you ranting against these Asians and Russian guys hiding their money from communist fucking regimes? Because what happens is they want to avoid taxes. Because that's what you have across your Cortez. This is why you have these extremes is because the center has collapsed. I agree with you. And that's the problem. So you can't...

It's all action and reaction. Can you just please for one second so nobody gets the wrong idea? Can you please just tell me what you said the other night, last night, because it was beautifully, beautifully, beautifully described and crafted and explicated. With the trance thing. With the trance thing? Well, let me tell you about it. He's been obsessed with this.

No, but no. He's gone crazy. I'm rightly obsessed. No, no, no. I'm rightly obsessed. I understand. Because you're trying to... Nobody's right about anything at 3 a.m. on Twitter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the catch is... As much as Casio Cortez, you know, it looks like she hates white people. It's what she fucks. As much as Giannis tweets about it, it's what he jerks off to. It's the trance point. This is what it is. I support a trance people.

No, I know. I love trance people. You're attracted to them. I'm attracted to them. If they're hot. If you look like a girl, I'm in. But they can't have a dick. No, no, no.

He wants him not a dick. No, I want to cut up. I want to cut up. I want the real thing. I want to cut up his dick. No, he wants that. I want him to cut up his dick. I'm not even joking.

My wife doesn't like hearing about it. I keep telling his wife, I'm like, you're the perfect girl from you just need a dick. My sexual tastes are much like the Turkish sulkans. Right. I'm a Turkish sultan. Yeah. I like to... My orientation is women, but if it looks like a girl, I'm fooled.

Right. Fool me and credit to you. Well, here's what I was saying about the trance. I was saying that it's not even trance people. It's not day-to-day trance people that you meet. It's not gay people that care about redefining society in this way. What it really is, is there's, you know, radical groups of people that want power and they want to redefine all of society and they look for a way to do it.

They look for an entrance point, right? They're like, how can we start this process? How do we get in? So they pick issues like the trance issue because... Because they can't just come out and say, give me all your money. Yeah, you can't come out and say, give me all your money. And by the way, we don't think you should have any speech rights. We don't think you should be able to talk about anything.

So what they do is they come in to an issue that most people can understand and say, yeah, well, we want to be kind. We don't want to be cruel. We want to be welcoming and accepting to people. So what they do is they allow this trance issue to become their main issue. And then they try to move the ball down the field far enough so that they really limit the scope of what you can discuss and talk about in that one. And then by the way, it doesn't stop there.

It ends with, we want 80% of your income and you're not allowed to say anything. That's where it ends. And that's where it always ends. And that's an old story. And that's an old story. It's not a new story in the book. You see it. You see it in Venezuela.

You've seen it with Che Guevara. If you take all your money and you don't have a family and there's no bulwark against the state, we come in and we run everything, we engineer you, we want to control you. That is, it's the same way on the other side with the far right. They want to put choosing camps. They want gay people and trans people to be modular because they want to enforce medieval Christianity as a tool of societal control. That's what it is.

It's just a bunch of people that want control. They just need a pool in the Hollywood Hills. That's all I want. I just want a vantage point to watch and burn. No, but I think it's very, I think it's very important for, for people who are listening to this or anywhere. And this is why I go crazy. I have three more to hold the line of reality because that is the center.

The center is going, Hey, I support trans people. Trans people is a beautiful, modern thing, but let's not, let's not, let's not throw caution to fucking reality. Right. I mean, it's, it's a, it's a consequence of modernity. I mean, they take blockers, they take estrogen or testosterone and that's great. And they identify because their, their brain is, is that way, that orientation in their brain is that way.

And they identify that way. And they want to take that to fruition, but, you know, they are trans women. They're not women because if they're not, if they're women, what are women? So, because logically, if you're saying trans women or women, then that means all women are trans and they're not. So it's like, if you're insinuating that, that trans women aren't trans women, then you're, you're almost implying something's wrong with being a trans woman. But you're trying to get rid of trans.

So what they're trying to do is they're trying to get rid of the step between. They want you to separate sex and gender. That's what, that's what I think where the confusion comes in. They want you to say your biological sex is different than what your gender is. That's what they're trying to say. They also want to say that. They also want to say this, that your gender you can choose, but your sex, they want to say this, the gender itself entirely is a construct and a result of society.

That's not true. Right, but not true. But it does it, but who, they don't care. Right, that's just not true. They don't care. It doesn't matter to them. People should know it's not true. And they don't care.

It's part, it's part nature partner. Truth and facts are like 90 shit. Right. We are done with facts. Nobody in a Trump rally gives a fuck about facts. They go, keep building the wall. There's not one brick in the wall. They don't care.

Right. Facts mean nothing to them. He went in, he said, I'm going to clean up Wall Street. We're going to eliminate the carried interest loophole. We're going to fucking rein those guys in. He didn't do any of that, by the way. You know what he did? The next crisis will be another crisis.

I mean, we've done nothing to insulate ourselves from the next financial crisis. Tim, what I'm about to say, I want your opinion on. Yeah. Trump did fix LaGuardia Airport. I just want to say that. There's an artichoke pizza in there and it's a one-wing of the airport. There's still curate coffee cups. Yeah, but it's one part is nice.

A lot of parts still suck. Well, I fly to JFK. I don't know LaGuardia. It's one of the planes I use. Yeah. Me and Joe Rogan fly to JFK. Yeah. So here's my question.

It's obvious to everybody at this point who has any sense that the conversation has been hijacked by the extreme right and the extreme left. Sensible people know that that's bad. Yes. I think the majority is still sensible. So, but the conversation has been hijacked by these two minorities of fanatics. Now, when you look back at history, you look back at World War One, you look back at World War Two.

You see at the outside of World War One, radio was invented. So there was this great tool to now galvanize and propagate to the masses that mobilized and was used as an apparatus to accelerate a World War. Then you see TV was invented around World War Two. You see the same thing happen with TV, where the Germans used it especially. And so did the Americans as a tool to mobilize, et cetera. Same thing as what I said before. Now we have the Internet, the third great invention for communication.

The same thing seems to be happening where it is being used to galvanize these extreme points of view, the inevitable being another World War. Right. Your thoughts, sir. Yeah. Well, I think when you look at who that war is going to be with, I think the majority of it is going to happen because of what I'm saying. The inevitability of it based on those two examples.

But I think the mutually assured destruction of the nukes keeps us from that. I think not even close, to borrow it fucking from the breakfast club. Not even close, bud. I would say this. People are fucking stupid. I would say this. Everybody is preparing for war with China. I mean, we have been for a long time.

This is going to be a proxy war? Because the Chinese are putting these poor Muslim kids in fucking concentration camps right now. There's a whole indigenous group. These Chinese are so fucking godless. Yeah. I don't mean that in a bad way. Right.

I'm getting carried away here. I don't mean everyone. But no, because I'm agnostic. But I'm just saying something very nefarious is happening over there where there is this sort of, you see the beginnings of these concentration camps happening. Yeah. And it's happening. And this is something we saw happen in the 40s.

And it's like the internet is just swelling everyone. It's bringing out the lowest common denominator of people's passions. Listen, my father who has, I'm not lying, I think he got through ninth grade. My dad was doing, really didn't set himself up at all. Not the brightest guy in the world. But he's had some hot days at the horse track. He's had some hot days at the horse track. And my mother was fucking hot when she was young and he scooped her up.

She was a piece. But what he said, I'll never forget this. 2009, I started comedy, whatever. Twitter comes out. We're talking. And my dad goes, you see this new thing? This Twitter thing? He's like, do you have one?

And I was like, no, I got to get one though. All comedians have it. He goes, it's going to be a big mistake for the people in the country. And I was like, why? He's like, cause not everyone's supposed to be heard from. Not everybody's supposed to have a voice. Think about, think about how much shit happens. If you get up in front of a crowded cafeteria, everybody's talking, nobody's listening.

He said, so this is going to be the biggest problem our country ever had is his Twitter shit. And he's kind of not long right now. Absolutely right. And that's a guy who was as a ninth grade education. Yeah. I had a mentor in college, Professor Smith, one of the most wisest people I've ever had at American, the American university where I was educated. My alma mater, which is Latin for all the mother.

Yeah. And he was eating kids on Epstein's Island. No, he was not. I'll never forget. He says, comfort corrupts. Yep. It's what it is. Yeah.

It's inevitable. Doesn't matter what your moral, how you were brought up. You have to constantly guard yourself against the corruption of comforts. And people just don't have the energy of the willpower to consistently check in on that. So what I'm basically saying is we were designed to fail. We're at the end. We've climbed up the mountain, but we are Sisyphus. The rock will fall on us.

We've made it to the end. We're not going to another solar system. We're not going to another fucking habitable planet. The habitable planets are 300 million light years away. We're sucking all the resources out of the earth. And it's going to shuffle things around in a way that that's going to hurt us because nature does not like imbalance. And that's just written. It's fate.

We're going to go away. The cockroaches and rats will evolve next. I feel like someone, there's an island bar, some island paradise we don't know exists. And somebody is saying that exact thing. And Jeffrey Epstein is just sitting there with a glass of rum going, life will find a way. You know what I mean? He's dead now. Allegedly he's dead.

I mean, who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Show me a body, right? Who knows? There's another, I'm sure there's, you know, that's the other thing. We'll just never know. Yeah.

That's the thing. That's why conspiracies are ultimately frustrating and they just don't lead anywhere because you're never going to know unless you're on the inside. People don't know anything about comedy. I was explaining this to Ben. I'm like, nobody knows what the green room of the store is like or the back table of the cellar. And by the way, we all know what it's like. And we're all like, huh? Why would you want to know?

But here's the thing, because to them it's magic. Yeah. To them it's magic. It's not. It's not. Of course it's not. Everyone's sitting in silence. But we know.

Yeah. But we know. Yeah. Now there's two ways to experience anything from the outside of the inside. Both have their benefits. Being on the inside, you know what it really is. Being on the outside, you have your idea of what it really is. Being on the inside, you have no more illusions about what it is.

On the outside, you have all illusions about what it is. They both have their benefits. When you look at this stuff, so many of the decisions that are being made in our world are being made at 30,000 feet. We just don't know what's going on. We can't. We can make jokes. We can read books. We can have ideas.

But we don't really know the thought process or what goes into this. At our own little corner of the world, which is entertainment, most people look at the entertainment business and for whatever reason, they think they have an idea of how it works and they just don't. Sure. And you could see in entertainment, especially in New York or LA, but I can comment on New York. I live here.

Even the things that are massive. A year ago, Me Too, massive movement. I was at Yanis's. By the way, massive movement on the island of Manhattan. You go to Long Island, they go on Me Too. No, that's what I was just going to say. When I was at Yanis's engagement party, I was talking to one of his wife's lovely friends trying to have sex with her.

She's a Long Island school teacher and I said something. I was talking to her. She goes, oh, my favorite comedian is Louie. And I was like, wow, you don't see a lot of women saying that these days because of the Me Too stuff. She's like, what's that? And I said, what do you mean what's that? And then she started asking her friends and she goes, what's the Me Too?

What did Louie do? And this was months after. And you're like, what? And it's like, yeah, because most people don't care. Even Louie himself, I heard him speaking. Even Louie himself had said, in the beginning of last year, he would be on the train and people would be talking, commenting, oh, you fucking pig, you're a rapist.

Shit, that's crazy. He's not accused of any of that. But now, because of all how things go and cycles or whatever, now people like, he'll be on the train and he said people would be like, oh, what happened? He was unfortunate. I can't believe society treats you this way. I'm coming to your show.

And he's bad. He's going to be back selling tickets again because it's all just these extreme movements. In closing, what do you think? Because this is an interesting question about Louie. How do you think he, you know, he's on a theater tour now? Well, no, he's doing the date and funny bone. Okay.

So. He's not doing theaters. Not yet, but he can do them. It's just, it's just, he's got to wait till some of this sting comes out of, you know, the theater is not wanting to be seen booking him. He could sell Madison Square Garden right now. People need to grow up. We need to become adults again.

Yeah. We're living in this period of extended youth. Yeah. Everyone's acting like a child. So how does that happen? That's right. How do they grow up? The amenities of modernity.

Boom. The eruption of comfort. I know. But how do you, how do you, how, if you tune into the Tim Dillon fucking show and you take your fucking medicine like a fucking man. We all know that. That's how you change. If you had the, if you literally, I'm giving you the reins right now.

You're the president of the United States. Yes. First of all, the Chinese are going back into internment camps. Cause if you're the president, I'm your first lady. Yeah, you are. So that's a joke. People, I'm joking. You're the president.

Yeah. Before you even turn to Chinese, which I'm not necessarily against. Yeah. Yeah. Or at least I could afford some condos. What do you do? What do you have a big speech? You go out and tell everybody they're in trouble.

Well, what do you literally do? Yeah. I start with some sort of speech about nature. Yeah. I want to remind people that being detached from the reality of nature is a luxury, but an illusion. How do you think that plays in an Applebee's and Tulsa? I don't.

Well, I'm going in with armed guns. Okay. So you're watching and you're agreeing. Right. This is not a choice. Right. No, you said I'm going in president. First of all, I'm doing a hostile takeover.

It's a coup. Right. When I get in, yeah, I'm making an alignment with the, I'm making, I'm doing it like Batman. Right. I'm taking full power, but I'm giving it away at the end. Right. I'm a great guy. I like that.

I'm a great kid. I like that. A coup. And then you give a nice speech about nature. Yeah. I like that. A coup. And then a speech about nature.

And then my speech is like, I want you to go, I want you to go look at this thing that we're a part of. Right. It's very easy to get detached because of the amenities of modernity. The comforts provide you this illusion that we're not part of nature. The laws of nature need to be obeyed. And our principles and our laws of governance need to be in accordance with nature. We're a little out of whack.

Everyone's gotten a little spoiled. We need a little perspective. Here's why. And here's what I'm basing my perspective on. It's called nature. Right. Worship what you want. Think what you want.

But this is a system that was created based in nature. People are free for the pursuit of happiness, not guaranteed. There's no such thing as equality. There's equality under the law. Right. Men and women are not the same. Right. They can be the same, but that's the exception, not the rule.

Men compete over here. Women compete over here. Right. And hopefully, I'm so pro trans, trans people should compete over here. Right. And that's what it is. We're not equal. It's not fair for a woman who transitioned a year ago to be competing against girls and

dominating. That's not fair. Trans women are trans women, and that's a beautiful thing. It doesn't mean they're women. Okay? So call it what you want. I'll give you control of the semantics. But stop trying to say they're the same because they're not.

Because then they start competing in the same leagues, and that's not fair. It also is not fair to women because it defines that out of existence. That's not fair. It's anti-feminist. So I'd start with a couple of points like that, and then I'd bring out the guns and kill whoever disagreed. Yeah. I would say we're not changing a thing, but everybody's getting a coupon from Popeye's

Chicken Sandwich. Wow. And a cruise. That's why you're going to be my secretary of fucking bullshit. Cruise. Everybody gets a cruise because I get right out and I go, listen, hey boomers, here's a reality. To try to remake society in the image of nature, or we could all get on a big boat with a 24-hour

buffet and go to a little island in Mexico where slaves will bring you pina coladas. And they're just going to go, hey, faggot, where's the boat? Where can people find you guys? History hyenas. Where can they find you? History hyenas. Where the Tim Dillon, the great Tim Dillon is a friend of whatever he's in town. We want him on.

Yes. And we need to redo the podcast game right here in New York City where everything starts. Yes. This episode is available on our joint Patreon for $5,000. By the way, historyhyenas.com, patreon.com, slash Bay Ridge Boys, and on patreon.com. The revolution is not coming. New York is a tired old tramp. And I'll tell you right now, the comedy scene here, I love all of you guys.

It's just limping along. Being in Los Angeles January 12th to the 16th. It's just limping along right now because it's in love with the past. Yes. It's in love with the past. You're forgetting a little tool we have in our pocket called Führer Andrew Schultz. That's what I was going to say. Well, that's your hope.

By the way, that's your only hope. I'm just going to be here. You are my only hope. And that's why amongst, you know, we're following the guidance and the tutelage of our Führer Andrew Schultz. If you go to patreon.com, slash Bay Ridge Boys right now, the million dollar tier will get you the secret Tim Dillon episode that we never recorded. If you want to pay a million dollars, we're going to put out the episode that me, Chris and Giannis recorded. One meal. We just went a little wild.

Yeah. And one million dollars. We will split it with you 500 grand. Three ways. I appreciate it. James El Tutor, if you're listening, we're talking to you about it. Hey, James. James El Tutor, this is for you.

I'm doing his podcast tomorrow at 11 a.m. And this is not a joke. This is not a joke. We are putting up for a million dollars. The unarable Tim Dillon episode, the infamous Tim Dillon episode for one million dollars on patreon.com, slash Bay Ridge Boys. One million dollars, patreon.com. You can hear us go a little wild. A little crazy.

It's a lot of wild. Yeah. Think about what we won't put out because we put out a lot of stuff. I don't want this going out. I know. Nobody wants anything going out. If Giannis had his way, we'd just podcast and nothing would go out. Yeah.

But the reality is, you know, this is going out. You know, what world do you think? You think Jenny Slate's calling you up to a fucking collab? No. You think that's, Jenny Slate would be like, hey, can you get me like a chicken parmesan hero? I think she's very funny, by the way. She thinks you're a postmate. Yeah.

So I'm very happy. I love her too. We all love her and she walk over at that body. I respect the hell out of her. Yeah. I respect that. I respect it a hundred percent. Yeah.

And God bless her. She's doing great. And you know, it is what it is. I, there is no loyalty. Here's the deal. When the gillest thing happened and you had everybody that didn't even know Shane thrown them under the, under the boss. Yeah.

There was no loyalty amongst comics. Now that saddens me. I don't like that. That's the case, but that is the fucking case. So anybody who's talking about loyalty or, or honor codes, they're all full of shit. It's just not true. Everybody kind of throws everybody else under the bus. I was one of the only people defending Shane.

You were. And by the way, I'm including his close friends. You weren't defending him. So the reality of the situation is it just is. Here's all you need to know about entertainment and where it's at and where the world is at. Here's what you need to know. Shane Gillis. Okay.

Was dropped by his agents. UTA. Justice Smollett was not. Correct. That's all you need to know. That's all you need to know where you are. Who used police resources to investigate a bogus hate crime. By the way, there were two guys in that had been picked up for some drunk, whatever.

Justice Smollett probably would have fingered them and they would have been in jail. Like two innocent guys. So a truly evil human being, uh, it was not dropped by UTA, but, but Shane was. So that's where we're at. And a lot of comedians went to go speak out about how inappropriate Shane was when they had said things that were absolutely worse. Ridiculous. So it is just a hypocritical group of people.

And anytime I hear that word loyalty from a manager, from an agent, from anybody, I, I couldn't want to get further away from you because it's, it ain't true, baby. It's not true. And I'm aware of it. And this game is up. This jig is up. It's also, it's also crazy to think that what we just did on this podcast is anything more than entertainment.

Right. You do understand we're professional comedians. If there's a journalist listening to this right now, you do understand that we are comedians. We don't care. By the way, there's no journalist. Yeah. Whatever fucking idiot is who thinks he writes for a career. We may be listening to this to, to, to hold our feet to the fire for anything that we're

saying. This is a podcast by comedians. We are entertainers. Right. We don't hold any power, any positions of power and we don't seek it. We're seeking to entertain you, to give you something to do while you're killing time for, for dying. Right.

You're here waiting to die and we're making that a little less painful by providing you with some fucking entertainment. And that's where it is. I'm running for public office. So anything I say on this podcast, you're joking. It's entertainment. It's like you're watching fucking movies. It's a character piece.

It's a character piece. I am running for public office, by the way, because I, I truly believe now, why not? I think why not? Why not? Why not? I mean, look, if we're going to just, if it's all over anyway, I will go right. I know exactly where I'm going to go. It's a little district called Long Island, New York, because I know what to say to win.

Yeah. I will say we are, we are going to have a vote in a bar. We're going to vote if we could smoke in the bar. Yeah. That's it. We're not going to worry about the employees of the bar having to inhale, secondhand smoke. They should have made better choices. Am I right, Bob?

Yeah. Maybe? Correct. The rallies on 9-11 at Mulcahy's in Belmore. Yeah. 9-11, right. 9-11, you get to commit one hate crime. Yeah.

A nonviolent hate crime. Yeah. It's a nonviolent hate crime. 9-11, you could, you could put a, you know, you could, you could rip someone's hijab off. It can't be violent though. Or you could spray a swastika on a McDonald's, whatever it is you get to do. Yeah. One nonviolent hate crime on 9-11.

Yeah. This is how I'm going to get elected in Long Island. Furthermore, Dewey's, the new Dewey law is if you can state your full name, first, middle, and last, and it matches your ID, you are not too drunk to drive. You're absolutely fine. Good. Get right back in that car and you do what you need to do. Good.

You can't be precious about worrying about life in every single person. No, no, no. The other thing is there's got to be an acknowledgement. And Long Island people understand this. Just, just, just got to be an acknowledgement that on the Long Island railroad, there are no laws. So the laws of man do not come into the Long Island railroad. When those doors close, we're back to the Coliseum in ancient Rome.

Yep. Blood, first blood is the, is the law of the land. Yep. That's it. I love it. And that's what I'm going to get. You got my vote. Go to history hyenas, support their Patreon, Tim Dillon show, timdilloncomedy.com, dates

coming up, Mugubis, Austin, Texas, a cap city, fun stuff coming up in Toronto, House of Comedy in Minneapolis, Arizona, blah, blah, blah. A lot of fun. We're up in Vancouver, we're in Toronto, timdilloncomedy.com, all those links, all those tickets, fun stuff. Mega McCain shirt coming. Nobody bought our other shirt. We're designing a Mega McCain shirt.

It might take a while and it's interesting. Somebody was with her the other night and she's not a fan. She did not like that I called her fat, by the way. I said so many worse things. What can you do? What are you going to do? Thanks to the history hyenas and goodbye.