The Tim Dillon Show - 184: 184 - Skid Ray

Episode Date: January 26, 2020

The great Raymond Kump makes it out for a tour of Los Angeles. They talk about when men were men, Rogan endorsing Bernie, Ray filming celebrities at a Malibu restaurant and Tim apologizes to Timothée Chalamet and Billie Eilish. Also, Tim is finally launching his jewelry line. For weekly Bonus Episodes: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow Tim Dillon Live Dates: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows Please Support Our Sponsors: Listen to Another Bachelor Podcast by Nick Davis, the producer of Th Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. It is Tim Dillon. We are here from our new studio, which is a work in fucking progress. Keep your mouth shut. Keep your criticisms down. You there's no such thing as constructive criticism from any of you. So shut up. Roger Deakins wants to chime in.

He can. Who the hell is that? He's one of the most famous cinematographers in the world. Shut up. You haven't been introduced. They know me. Raised in LA three days until walking around telling everybody how Hollywood works. OK, we're here in the new studio from an undisclosed location. So none of you fucking people get cute and fucking show up. And we're very excited to be doing video because I know it's very important

for the people on YouTube who get to show absolutely for free, who pay nothing. They demand video and then they're going to they're not going to like you're getting out of the background like the background. I want to listen. It's all going to it's all coming together. It's all coming together, folks. OK, as Ray said once during the best bomb I've ever seen was Ray in a winery in Cape May, New Jersey.

Do you remember that? Right. Yeah. West Cape, May, New Jersey. Thank you for clarifying. West Cape, May, New Jersey, a fan of this show. Yeah. Had booked us inexplicably booked me inexplicably. He wanted us to come down to do a show. We thought potentially there'd be fans of the podcast right in Cape

May, New Jersey. Not only was that not the case, the room was like older wine people. It trashy, though. Trashy, but not. Not our kind of trashy. Not our fans. Right. Nobody that would enjoy this like Billy Joel fans more. Right. Right. Billy Joel fans. Right. But but like turn on him because he hasn't supported Trump enough. Those are the types of people.

You know, write a song about Trump, pussy. Remake Piano Man about Trump. You pussy. Like they like the idea of Bruce Springsteen until he writes a song about a cop getting shot. Yeah. I mean, a cop shooting a black guy. They don't like that. They listen to, you know, born in the USA and think it's like the biggest

pro America song in the world. Yeah. They don't like 41 shots. Yeah. Let me tell you right now. I saw Bruce Springsteen amazing. One of the best concerts at the Madison Square Garden East Street Band 1999 with my friends and Deb and Deb took us and he did that song. 41 shots about Amadou Diallo. Boy, did that cool the room.

Boy, did that cool the room. Everybody was really into it. And then he was like 41 shots. And you could tell people were just walking, milling around, going to get you're going to have a cigarette. He was just reaching for his wallet. Yeah. And it's like, you know, the people like there was no chorus for them to sing, you know, so they were just like, he had it coming.

What were they supposed to do? Split second decisions are an easy. So those are the types of people in Cape Man, New Jersey. And then we fucking go out, you know, and you went up and you had an epic bomb. You started out talking about a nice riff, I riffed something and it went well. Well, no, you're right. You had one great riff. It was a sentence and it really went well.

Do you remember what it was? I don't. I don't. I don't know about me being a fat, perhaps, I don't know. Whatever it was, it was instantly pleasing to them. They were like indeed when they laughed and then you made a joke about heroin. Yeah, I've been doing this bit about, you know, it's not a heavy thing. I love the bit. It's just about how heroin addicts like, you know, at least they can make new

friends in their thirties. I love that bit. It's a good bit. Thank you. Now, the people in Cape Man, I guess their kids are just dropping like flies because of this stuff. Is it an epidemic? Who knew? Who knew?

I do heroin jokes now, but now it's gone the other way, where even the parents of the kids who died don't care anymore. They're like, yeah, they're like, ah, ah, ah, ah. So Ray did that and they, they turned on him. They started yelling like, move on, move on. Right. They were like, move on, move on. And then you dug deeper and deeper. And then he got to a point where we go, less is a me.

You can't just say you're brought up heroin. You're fat. We hate you. You went, you looked at them and you went, it's all coming together. Folks, it's all coming together. And then one of the greatest things ever. You started going into this bit about feminism. Oh, right.

And Ray is a progressive guy. He doesn't appear progressive. He doesn't sound progressive. And many progressive people wish you would just not say anything. Progressive. They don't want to be on the team. You would just go away, you know? You think, you think they're mad at Rogan's endorsement.

What about, you know, so he's like, I endorse Marianne Williamson. Um, but Ray, I love if you married Marianne Williamson. But so Ray then does this bit about feminism, where the basic just to the bit is you go, you can't just say, hey, like the rights don't work. Explain the bit, but it's like, you know, it's the one. It's basically, I was friend from Rhode Island, who's talking about, um, what was the premise? It was basically like, but basically, hey, like, we, you know,

we gave you the right to vote. Right. And you're like, that's not the right work. Yeah, that's not how rights work. You can't turn around. And one of my favorite lines of the bit, which is just an aggressive line. Yeah. Is you go, we, we, we stop fisting you on the subway.

And so they just a group, an older crowd of wine drunks just hear him. They're not listening anymore to every word and every nuance. If they ever were. So they just hear you talking about fisting on the subway. Right. And then I've never heard this in any comedy show I've done. And it's hilarious. A loud chorus of blues filled with this.

Literally, they went, get off, get off, get off, get off, get off, get off, get off, get off, get off, get off. Friendsy get off. And he then sat down, he finished up and sat down, but it was an epic bomb in the way that it was so much more entertaining than most people's specials. Right. Now that's the problem with comedy is just one of the least entertaining things you could put your, you put, you could focus your eyes on.

Right. Literally anything is funnier. Literally anything. People look, I have a new special. No one cares. I mean, good, good for you. We're proud of you. But no, I mean, it's just not, I mean, no one's even putting themselves out there.

It's, it's so much of just like, it's the kind of stuff you, it's such a milk toast, middle of the road. Yeah. Like, what are we doing here? Right. I mean, look, Chappelle, I love it, but it's, it's, there's a certain level of like, I know I'm going to be doing the controversial thing right now. Yeah.

I mean, look, it's cliche. We talk about someone, I'm a carlin guy. I go back as a kid and it was like, he had a point. He was making a point. He was, it wasn't holding back, but there was, there was a construction of the, of the joke that was, you know, intricate and it was funny. But, you know, he, but he was, he was also like conveying, he's not Chomsky, but he wasn't, you know, Chappelle's doing that too.

No, Chappelle is. Yeah. It just feels a little more like, I, I, I never felt like Harlem was trying to be like, but he also wasn't dealing with his world culture or shit. Well, whatever it is, it's just like, nobody, it's rare that we need an hour from anyone unless they are Chappelle. Right. Unless you're a legend, it's like tough to need a, so it's like, when I watch

that bomb and I put on Instagram and people are like, they're invested in it because they're watching something happen that what's interesting about it is like, you don't know which ways this is going to go. What's happening. Right. And with the comedy special, you know, it's relatively good because that's why it, people, somebody put it out. Right.

Right. It's part of the problem is that so many comedy fans, it's not their fault. We, you know, we love them, but like they want a lot of time, like the edgier stuff or whatever, like you're dealing with, that was wrong because you're dealing with some people who are like, why am I even watching this? Right. What am I watching? Who is this maniac?

Like that, that level of just kind of, well, it's, yeah, I mean, we took race or raising LA, he's here. He's visiting. We go down to, to Nobu and Malibu, which is a sushi, obviously a hot spot in Malibu, right on the water, beautiful. We don't have reservations. Right. We go in, we're like, do you have anything for two?

They go, yeah, the sushi bar, like face, face the wall. Right. You two face the wall. Logics, the rappers walking out of there. I would not even know who he is in total. Right. And he, number one, he's white. And I know that he says the N word a lot because he has a black parent.

God bless him, but it's your white show, whatever. But I get it. And he walks out like, you know, and I'm like, ah, good for him. And then he wasn't saying the N word in Nobu. I'm just saying, I've noticed that, you know, he has that license. That was you. And I don't know, right. That was me.

That was me. And we go in there and, and, and Ray, first of all, it's no longer sunset. It's dark. You can't see anything. Nobu's like infested with celebrities and other people that don't want to be like filmed. Ray does the craziest thing I've ever seen in my life. He swivels around in the chair at the sushi bar, which, by the way, they put us in the sushi bar to face the wall so that nobody would have to see us eating

swarping fish. Because you know what sushi is. You slurp it with your fingers. I, and nobody, nobody needs to see Ray or myself playing with soy. So, you know, so they go face to wall. He turns around with his phone and starts filming the restaurant. It's absolutely true. You know, that's why you're laughing.

It's a fucking horror show. First of all, we're conspicuous in there already. I'm like, low profile. Keep it low. Keep it low. He turns around with his phone and he's like, and I go, what the fuck are you doing? I say, you can't do this. This is crazy.

I'm trying to get a view. I'm trying to get a view. There is no view. It's dark. I mean, tell, tell everyone what happened. Well, first of all, as a preface, you've taken me to very nice restaurants. I've never, you know, taken a picture. You've never done this before.

I've met some famous people. You've lost your mind. No, I've met some. I don't go out of my way and introduce myself to people. You had a moment of temporary insanity with this. I was the only thing about my girlfriend, Lucy. OK, that's sweet. But she's like, she's like, she's like, where are you?

I was like, I forgot there was even celebrities there. I don't, I don't even know who logic is. I understand that. I'm saying, like, they're just regular people. I thought it's really. It would have been wrong in a sizzler, which we were in earlier next to the fat store. If you took out a phone in a sizzler and did that, it would be also wrong and probably criminal. I was just, you know, I should lose a nice architecture.

I understand that. It's a nice looking, like, I'm just going to show her she's stuck at home in her apartment. A man such as yourself should not be filming people in a restaurant. It was a picture, wasn't it? I wasn't filming. This is not a documentary. I wasn't trying to get like some, I wasn't trying to do some kind of pedophilia documentary in Nobu. I'm just fucking trying to like, you know, get like, show her, hey, look at the woods.

Very nice here. I understand what you were trying to do, but it was a moment of temporary insanity. Sure. You were completely insane. I forgot about how exclusiveness place be if we mean you could just walk in because we've talked about it before. Nice restaurants are the only thing that can't legally keep us out. Right. That's why food is our only luxury.

We've discussed this before. People say, why do you like nice, right? Well, then you let me in your country club then and I won't be as fat. I can't go anywhere else. I can't get on someone's jet. I can't just waltz in to Bel Air and walk through the gates and enjoy myself. The only thing that so far, legally, they cannot stop me and you from doing is going to a nice restaurant. It is the only luxury for the poor.

And I get beaten up on fatty. I'm not fat, positive, fat, activist. I get it. It's bad for you because diabetes. I know everybody's trying to be better out there. Maybe some people are, but whatever, none of us are happy being fat. That's the other thing. How many people are actually happy being fat?

Not a lot yet. No, some people are content to be slobs. Sure. But like this whole idea that there's a lot of people being like, I'm fat and deal with it. It's just not how it grows. I mean, millionaires are doing it, but not people on a bus. Nobody on a public bus is thrilled to be a fat ass. Yeah, no one wants it.

Nobody wants nobody who's poor and fat is like, look at this, bitch. It's called confidence. No, no one's doing that in a Walmart. What it is, it's millionaires who are like, just going to put it out there and make money doing it. Well, it's also keep eating our poison. Right. You know, it's like, hey, you don't put down the macaroni and cheese, fatty.

Yeah, swallow it. Yeah, it's just that like that. There's an interest in what they want you to eat in salad. Like who would the Dole Corporation is not the biggest consortium in the country. I have whole bits about it. We were raised a lot of our generation and it doesn't this doesn't justify eating this shit now and it doesn't justify not changing your life. But are and I've said it before and I say it on stage are our boomer.

Parents fed us poison. We were the fast food generation. Right. In a way that kids growing up today are not. I mean, we were we were people at birthday parties in fast food places. Are there are four years well before even supersize me. Which was a big turning point where they started to at least show. They tried.

No, but there was a there was a level of shame where like we're going to we're going to make salad more prominent and we're going to try it. They're like, I was on that guy's podcast, Spurlock and then he me toed himself and no one care. Remember that? Yeah. He went out there and he's like, I've acted in a probe. And it's like, what? But I do feel like as much as I didn't do anything too fast food.

Yeah, there was still a level of like, yeah, you're still going to eat this stuff, fatty, but like I they weren't even showing salad. I mean, when we were kids, they didn't even have them. And then like when they had the salad shaker. Yeah. And there was like a shaker. Make sure we just pour like, you know, three quarters of it's just. I'm not a guy that says make this shit illegal or whatever. But I am saying when you're a kid and you grow up in these environments,

eating this type of food, it is not good. And I feel like a lot of kids today aren't because people are more educated now. Right. About food. They're more educated. But it is a luxury for the poor. Sure is a luxury for poor people. It's the one thing you can do. I mean, even even a nice Kraft macaroni and cheese, it's a nice shut up.

Now you're now you're going somewhere. I'm not just good at McDonald's. I'm not going to cosign that. Why? What I'm saying is butter in it. He's butter. What I'm saying is stop, stop talking about Kraft macaroni and cheese. Jesus fucking Christ. My point is that even a poor person can can wrangle enough money

to go put a steak in their throat, put a steak and a baked potato in their throat. That's what they're talking about McDonald's. Well, no, McDonald's really isn't a luxury. OK, it's a necessity, I guess, for certain people, whatever. But my point is that that's why you go to Nobu. They can't keep us out. They can't they can't, you know, when we walk in there, they can't go. Excuse me, take us in a back room and beat the shit out of us.

Sure, they can't do that yet yet. It's coming. I'm sure it's coming. Right. They'll find a way to lock it all down. You've you've been in LA now for three days. What are your what are your thoughts on the geography on the area? What's your there is a tremendous amount more horror than I anticipated. I thought I thought really the horror would be that there's this kind of seamy underbelly of this wealth.

Like we like there is when you go in the world. We're like, oh, I guess he's rich people, but like it's a little shady. And they're probably some of our fucking kids and some of them are, you know, doing so much drugs. No, like you're literally driving through Black Hawk down to get to a Hollywood. There are certain parts of LA where the apocalypse has happened. Yeah, it's happened. There are tent cities.

You have medieval living situations in terms of like, no, no fucking bathrooms, no running water. And then you have diseases coming back that have been gone for years, things like dysentery that come from filthy living conditions. And I think our Uber driver said today to us before she wanted to rant about the Jews. Remember that? She goes, the Beverly Hills, she goes, it's owned by the Jews, all Jews. I was like, OK, she told us it was 145,000 homeless people in Los Angeles. I estimate a little bit lower when we went to Skid Row.

Yeah, because Ray's just looking at Skid Row. He's like, they can help these people. There's a few hundred people that's helpless people, helpless man. First of all, we got to Skid Row. We rolled the window down and three people emerged from a tent and went, Ray. And that's when we had to leave because I said, I don't know how many people. I have a very specific fan base. You're the only guy that ate at Nobu that could have went to Skid Row

and also fit in there perfectly, like absolutely perfectly. But I mean, how do you fix. That problem. It's hard. Yeah, I mean, you have to. I mean, there's no projects here, which is interesting. They're right. There are probably there is public housing. OK, but not like there's a lot of people.

I mean, the idea of there's problems with vertically placing cheap housing or housing for the poor. But you know, it seems so. I'm just saying, there are pitfalls that, you know, to that method of doing it. But at the end of the day, like, you know, how else are you going to do it when you have 145,000 people? And it's like, how much worse is it than 10 cities? They talk about like how like, oh, like you might get mugged.

People get mugged in the hallway because, you know, the visibility and like the corners and like the kind of diffusion of responsibility that happens when you live in this big building and you're not paying like your own rent. I think, yeah, sure. But like, dysentery, botulism, you know, that's occurring on the streets. Like maybe we deal with that when we come through it, you know. Yeah, those things are a lot worse. But what are some of the positives other than the return of the diseases?

The post-apocalyptic kind of hellscape. Oh, it's love. I want to move here. There are nice things about it. I mean, there are nice things, but let's not spend too much time on the breakdown of society. Right. The fall of a civil society and a fall of social order. Let's not spend an inordinate amount of time on that when there are so many positives.

Here's the reality. If you're going to experience the end of the world on the front line, which these people are, why not do it in a place with a nice climate? It has a beautiful climate. It's wonderful. And that's what people don't talk about when they talk about our inability to house hundreds of thousands of people who then shit on the street. Right. They don't mention that it is a nice climate here.

Honestly, they don't balance it out and go, but dysentery, but plague is back, but lovely weather. I'm living in a better place than I was when we first did the podcast. Yes. I think I would talk about frequently how I'm not saying. Now, I'm not saying it's Skid Row where I was living. I'm not trying to, but I live in a windowless room, which in the summer got incredibly hot and muggy and just disgusting. And plus I never threw my garbage out.

So like, would it be worse to live on the street in Skid Row? Maybe like on, you know, again, the diseases and the micro bacteria. But I feel like, yeah, it's like it's like camping in the fall. It's nice. No, I see your living situation when I first met you and your driving situation. I mean, you drove a car where the window was broken, the window had rolled around and it was broken. And the first time I met you, there was no heat in the car.

And you said, we have to smoke cigarettes to keep ourselves warm. Right. And that's when I kind of picked up the occasional ciggy again, because I had quit for years. I quit smoking cigarettes for years. I was actually still drinking and smoking pot before I stopped smoking cigarettes. Right. I got rid of cigarettes and then I met Ray. And it's not your fault, but I met you. And then driving back to Long Island, you were like, listen,

we don't have heat in the car, but here's what we can do. We can smoke cigarettes on the way back to Long Island. And I thought that was a fair compromise and a good way to get heat. And then we would always go to that Taco Bell Pizza Hut or a diner. Right. The Taco Bell Pizza Hut. We're off in the Taco Bell. Yeah, the Taco Bell, because that was it was 3 a.m. There wasn't a lot open at that point.

No. And then we would sit in the in the parking lot of the Taco Bell Pizza Hut and recap the evening. Right. There was a Nachos Bel Grande. You've, you know, what's crazy about this area to me is that it gets a little worse. Even since I've been here, it just creeps in. There's a few more tents.

Right. There's a guy with a shopping cart going down the block. Yeah. And it's more and more. And you wonder how long that takes until there's some type of breaking point. Well, I think we went to Skid Row, but that was like the second day. But like on the way from LAX to Hollywood, like in the nicer areas. It's even worse because you're prepared for Skid Row. Right. And it's like in the level of like, oh, these are these people

are like at the brink. It's it's sad. But like just the kind of level of gradual horror and decay. What was interesting about a lot of people at Skid Row, they did seem happy. They were at look, there was a there was a reason. And this is just an observation. I'm not saying that don't, you know, be like, I'm saying the outward appearance of a lot of these people was they were jubilant.

Well, I think they were getting their buzz on a bit. But it makes you think about life. It really does. Yeah. You go down Skid Row. It's the most horrible conditions ever. And there are people there that are dancing and they're happy. And then you meet people that live in these big, beautiful homes. And they're not that happy.

We've you know, fuck Bernie Sanders and fuck all you people that think you just need everything you can make do with less. You'll be fine. Let it go. Manage expectations. This is what your expectations are killing you. You expect a good life. Stop that enough of that. You think about the yacht, the yacht you want.

How much is the gas to fill it up? Right. You don't even think about that. You know, it's it's a it's a burden you don't think about. Right. But my whole thing is be happy with less. You know what I mean? Look, we we've tended to go the opposite route with that over the years. Yeah. But you know what? Well, a lot of people are like poor people are actually happier

if you look at it, the rich are very unhappy. It's like, which is like a comforting feeling to a comforting expression. I'm not saying that poor people are happy. I'm saying I went to Skid Row and I saw people there that were happier than people that I knew, even if it was momentary. Right. Even if it was induced by a substance. Sure. I'm not making a sociopolitical point. I'm just you got to observe things. Right.

And you can't crowd an ideology. Like you can't cram an ideology into every observation. You can't look at somebody dancing in the street and go, but I bet it. You know, sometimes you just got to take it a face value and go, yes, this gentleman would probably rather be in another situation. Well, however, humans are incredibly adaptable. And the one thing I will say for the people of Skid Row, I don't think they're going to drive down the Beverly Hills and like, you know,

lusting over the big part of it's like about, you know, comparative wealth and you're not really thinking about that flamingo in the in the front yard. That nice man, you're you're you're understanding. This is what it is. Yeah. You're not reaching the reach is really what gets you. The reach is what gets you. So yeah, part of our new motivational programs. New shirt will be printing.

Yeah. The reach is what gets you. Stay low. Stay low to the ground. Yeah. But it's also not just not everything about like what I was surprised about was just like horror. Yeah. We're just like a lot of that. Like now, once we got close to the Hollywood and we went to Malibu, like a lot of beautiful spots, but a lot of it was just like just the worst parts of Long Island.

Yeah. Like a lot of it felt like the LIE spread out over like a much wider. But it's not funny. Yeah. Like Long Island is funny, right? Because the people in Long Island are retarded. Right. And that's what makes it funny because they're retarded. And yet somehow many of them have managed to acquire things that they never should have had and still aren't happy with and maintain a sense of victimhood.

They're always a grieved party, no matter what happens. They inherit houses. They complain about the taxes on the houses they inherit. It just never ends. They're always someone's always coming trying to kill them. MS-13 is always in the window with a machete going at them. And the only person who will save me is Sean Hannity. Sean Hannity in his freedom concert.

There's nothing better than watching people in Long Island, white people who had a culture back when it required some degree of like, you know, boats and learning how to whatever. And like being, you know, appreciating that you lived by the sea in the ocean. But then once people traded that in for just a suburban sloth of it all, they are culturalist people like Connecticut. So when white people have no culture, they start going to like country western bands.

They start pretending they're like country western. So Sean Hannity used to have these freedom concerts where like Montgomery Gentry would perform and like Long Island guys would go and Montgomery Gentry would be like, how was it cowboy? You know, and they'd be like, yes, me. And they because they don't there's no real culture that they identify with. They're just like, they want to be like, I'm white. I'm proud of my family and my faith, even though I don't like my family

and I haven't been to church. At some point after I grew up, like was like, you know, kids, but like dear part where I grew up, acquired multiple like line dancing bars. Yeah, this is what it is. Yeah, because what else do they have nothing else to do? And the other thing is the Bernie put the Rogan clip out and a lot of people flipped out. You're going to lose it.

Here's the deal. You're going to lose again. You want to lose. You fetishize being a loser and you want to lose. You're putting people through these purity tests. It's going to it's going to bite you. Rogan is such an asset to have and whether I don't even think it's fair. By the way, I would be like, it's not fair to put out a clip

of someone as an official endorsement if they haven't officially endorsed you. I don't know that they had a conversation with Joe or not, right? But my whole thing is like to get angry about it is so fucking childish. And I mean, I don't know how more progressive can I listen to over the years, a bunch of you know, Rogan stuff. And like, I don't know how much more progressive he can be. They want him to cut his dick off. Yeah, I mean, they want him to transition.

He could be more progressive if he cut his dick off on air and became a woman. That's what they're looking for. They want him to saw his cock off and shove it in Barry Rice's throat. And then and then that's how he could be more progressive. OK, he takes his dick off and then he throws it in Barry Rice's face and goes, free Palestine. And then it would be OK to endorse Bernie Sanders. He's had on Abbey Martin, Kyle Kuklinski, Cornel West, Bernie Sanders,

David Pakman. He talked to Matt Tyebe in his three to four hour conversations about things like, you know, prison industrial complex, Israel and Palestine, race, inequality, all of those things. And you turn on CNN, they've got Richard Spencer, Stormy Daniels, Rachel Maddow is fucking talking about Putin hiding in a closet. And then she goes out to dinner with Roger Ailes and she probably puts on his drape on and fucks them.

So let's get real. Rachel Maddow and Roger Ailes have dinner together. It's all fake. He had the conversation with Milo. Vice, you know, talks to fucking, what was it, Cantwell? Yeah. And they get a fucking Emmy for it. Right. Rachel Maddow, it was like close with Roger Ailes. So it's professional.

It does stop. And that's why people that are like online or people that get their news from these, I love my dad, but here's what happened to my father's brain. It's been rotted because he's gotten his news from people like Chris Matthews and Chris Matthews. When the whole episode thing happened, Chris Matthews, who is a Irish fat blow hard, OK, who does nothing but parrot the party line of anything that's going on, loves Washington, loves powerful people, is the opposite of a journalist,

is it looks like a hunk of Irish soda bread. He's not he's nowhere near Tim Russer, Tim Russer, not perfect. He took over me to press, right? No, no, someone else. I don't think Chris Matthews. No, Chris Matthews is that kind of hardball. It's like, huh, huh. He was parodied constantly with good reason.

When the whole episode thing happened, this was Chris Matthews hot take. OK, by the way, by the way, not only should the Irish not be allowed to speak publicly, they should be chained at all times to do their physical job. OK, Chris, Chris Matthews, Chris, they just don't let let's be I'm sick of lying. Most Irish people excluding me. Most Irish people just are not supposed to think. They're supposed to emote.

They're supposed to sing. They're supposed to dance and they're supposed to tell tales, but they're not supposed to like break it down. So this was Chris Matthews response when the episode things happen. He goes, you know, a lot of these politicians end up take because they he goes, they become friends with these nefarious characters because they don't have a lot of money. So they need to fly places because they're politicians.

They need to go to places. So they end up forming relationships with these, you know, nefarious characters. He's dark and they don't know what's going on. They don't know how can they know we're going to wait in the airport for 10 minutes. Yeah. So Bill and Hillary Clinton can't afford to go anywhere. So Bill has to fly and where do they all need to go? The Virgin Islands. Where are they going? They got like a million dollar speaking fee somewhere.

Yeah. But again, imagine. Think of the people who got their news from that system for years because even the articles written about Epstein from the mainstream press like, yeah, it's a little fishy. Right. Now, the flip side of that is if you go online, you know, you know, it's we all know what online is. It's just a fucking, you know, it's it's completely no free for all the guy and you know, goat horns, just, you know, sacrificing the bathroom.

It's like there's no there's no moderation. There's no moderation. But in this case, this is the one case where they're mostly right. Yeah, they're mostly right. Yeah, it's but that's the real problem. The real problem is that our parents got their news and that's why we have the country we do. You eat poison.

You get your news from people that literally should not be allowed to speak publicly or just hand the talking points. Let's say you get your news from these people, you eat at Wendy's, you drink, you get prescribed all these drugs, and then at the end of everything, it's like, yeah, there's nothing left. Nothing's left. It's all gone. And then you have to deal with all these massive problems like 40 percent of the labor force is going to be automated and like our parents just want

to play golf and get a condo. They don't. They're like, what do you what? They're like, who gives a shit? What do you mean? 40 percent of labor for good. They're like, that sounds nice. Like you tell people that you tell people that are older, that they go 40 percent of labor was going to be automatic.

They're like, you kids have it so easy. You have no idea how lucky you are. You know, you're going to have. I hate waiting in line to the car wash, you know, the labor force. They're just it's they're going to be all these kids are going to have automated. You know, you know, my son told me about Dave Vinnie. He said 40 percent of labor force is going to be robots. They're going to be sitting pretty these kids.

They're going to be sitting pretty these guys. I mean, can you believe how lucky they are? Well, that is on some weird way. Like if you actually like look in the marks, I'm not saying I've read a lot of Das Kapital. But you know, Ray's become a fat Marxist. Which is somehow living in Brooklyn is somehow his journey to become like this fat.

He went from a fat libertarian to a fat Marxist because there's two places you can go from libertarian. You stay fat, but you go to either Marx or you go to Nazi, but you stay. You're more of a Marxist than I am. I argue because I'm sexy. I argue if we can afford health care and if we can afford universal health care, you go, we're just going to do it. Fuck it. I'm not a Marxist.

I just don't care what happens. Yeah, that's a different thing. I'm set. I look, I have no investment in literally what happens. Whatever. I am not a Marxist. You should read a little Marxist. You know what you're talking about. If you want to oppose him. Point is a bit the idea of it is that has Das Kapital

balanced on his stomach and a public boss in Brooklyn. And he's a half of a woman sitting next to him, just nursing her baby. And you're like, listen, that's okay. You can let it out. We're all human beings here. You can let it out, baby. Don't worry about it. I know why you're in the position you're in. This man wrote a whole book on it.

You see what happened with copper or something. Oh, look, there is some part of it where it's like, we're supposed to get to a point where we can all just like relax and achieve higher consciousness. Mullin told me about this. It's like fully automated luxury communism, which Mullin's telling me. He was saying, here's a joke. It made me laugh for just everyone fucks all day.

And money's fake. I don't know. So some idiot, some idiot will message me and be like, the box is really smart. Yeah. Ray's girlfriend's going to canvas with Bernie Sanders and fucking where's she going? I think in Hampshire.

We're going to go. We want to film ourselves canvassing for Bernie Sanders and Beverly Hills just standing outside gates and screaming. I mean, it's all about giving back a little bit. Have you thought excuse me, sir? Have you heard Bernie Sanders? He's also Jewish. Don't you have enough?

Don't you? Have you no decency, sir? At long last, have you no decency? We should have a can just to get going. I just think it would be absolutely hilarious to have the Great Ray Comp and myself canvassing for Bernie Sanders in Beverly Hills, California, and being attacked by guard dogs and taste.

Folks, you know me. I always try to put you on to cool stuff. It's part of what I do here on the show. It's not all just comedy and doom and gloom. It's an advice podcast for many of you. I give good advice, but I also put you on the things that you might like. One of those things is a podcast.

It's called Another Bachelor Podcast. It's 2020 and there's a lot going on. We're on the brink of World War III. Australia is engulfed in flames. There's an impeachment trial coming up, and the world is being sucked off its mana. But there is nothing more important going on right now than season 24 of ABC's The Bachelor.

If you're listening to my podcast, you're obviously a fan of that program and you're probably tuning in every week, but you're wasting your fucking time if you're not listening to a Bachelor companion podcast. It's what's done. The best one out there, we've talked about it before,

is another Bachelor podcast featuring Nick with Schizophrenic Parents, Dylan is Jewish, and Pat, who's an older man. After hearing the ad read I did last week, Pat, as I assumed you might in the near future attempted to take his own life, while he is independently wealthy with a child on the way. My words called into question his reason.

I shit on these guys as a joke, and I know that because, listen, they're doing a podcast about the Bachelor. A lot of people do it, and a lot of people are successful at it. If you're a fan of the Bachelor and you want to listen to a companion podcast, go check their podcast out.

I think it's well worth checking out. I'm going to be a guest on their podcast about Below Deck, because I do have an interest in talking about Below Deck. I don't have an interest to talk about the Bachelor. I don't know why I find Below Deck so interesting. It's just about people who charter yachts, whatever. But it's interesting. And I think they're okay with me shitting on them as a joke.

I mean, one of them might was upset about it, I think, or whatever. I mean, I don't know. I don't know who any of these people are. I will never meet these people in my life. I will never meet them ever. If I'm in a room with these people, it's because I'm meeting someone else

that they are somehow near. But I would never be in the same... Unless we're in an airport. We'd be in an airport and we'd bump into each other, but there would be no meaningful interaction between me and them, and that's not a knock. And that's not an insult. The only difference between me and them would be

that I'm insanely talented. Insanely talented. And I spend time with other insanely talented people. That's the only... That's it. There's no diff... Like, everyone's a human being. I respect everybody.

But that is the differential. That's it. Nothing else, by the way. I mean, we're carbon-based life forms. I mean, the whole thing. But I would give The Bachelor a podcast a shot, because why not? Why not if you enjoy The Bachelor?

Is this a show where they have to survive in the woods naked? No, that's naked and afraid. Okay, I've seen that one. The Bachelor is about a bunch of women who compete for the affections of one man. Can I get on this? I think it would be great if you were... They should do a Bachelor skid row

where you are The Bachelor. And then all the women still choose to go back to skid row. A lot of those women aren't unattractive. What? The women in skid row. They weren't bad at all. They weren't bad at all. I could see you dating them, too.

Would I give them a rose? Yes, you give them a rose. Here's the deal. What's the point of being a father if you know you'll fail? What's the point of doing anything, really? What's the point of even sticking around? This is about the guy, I guess, who I tried to kill himself after I talked about him.

He was founded a bathtub by his podcast buddies who resuscitated him with the news that the ad read I did last week because it did, in fact, move the numbers. So people are checking it out. So tune in every week to another Bachelor podcast on iTunes, YouTube, and Spotify. Remember, everyone, escapism is the only thing that matters right now. There is nothing you can do to prevent us from annihilation.

The only other thing you can do is find ways to cope. So listen to another Bachelor podcast or their spinoff show, Recapping Bravo's hit series Below Deck, another Below Deck podcast, and also available where you get your podcasts. I mean, go check it out. I wish these guys the best. Listen, I mean, you know, here's what it is.

Here's what it really is. Here's what it really is. No one respects you. Like, that's what it is. If you're a producer of a podcast, unless you're Jamie Vernon, no one respects you. That's what it is. It's just what it, you're replaceable.

You're, I mean, it's not, I'm glad you do your job well. But it's not really, it's just not a thing. Like, it's not. My plumber is part-time does my taxes too. Yeah, it's kind of like that. You know, I like specialization where someone specializes in something. Like, if someone came up to me and goes,

in a nice restaurant, they go, you know, who's cooking in the back? Bruce Springsteen. I go, why? Why is Bruce Springsteen making our dinner? But maybe, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it would be great. It's a bit not in America.

Here's your quesadilla. Right, I don't know. So these podcast producers right now, they get very chatty. Yeah. They get very chatty because they're, they're sick of being behind the, the scenes. Well, it looks so easy.

Because they think it's a big mistake. They think it's a big mistake that they sit behind the scenes and other people don't. They all think it's a cruel twist of fate. And it's just that they, they should be, Theo Vaughn should be producing your podcast. That's what these guys think. And when they go, when they put their head on the pillow

in their manic minds, they think that they are the reason that Theo is funny. They think they're doing it. This is the result of Occupy Wall Street. Your job, your job is going to be done by AI last week. So I'm glad you're, so here's reality. And this is sweet kids. And I don't want anyone to think this is neg,

I'm not trying to be negative now. I'm just trying to be, and I appreciate because I would, if you listen, if you listen to the bachelor, watch another bachelor podcast. Do I need to listen to the bachelor because I just enjoy the podcast? Shut up. Just listen to the fucking podcast. Okay. And I, and I listen.

I'm not trying to be a dick to anybody because I love everyone. I think everyone's worthy of, of at least life. You know what I mean? At least be here on earth. But like, you know, just make it good. Like I hope it's a great podcast. And I'm sure it's not that bad. I'm sure it's not that bad.

But like, that's what it is. It's like, you're not going to get famous by having like, you know, a fucking, you know, like, I don't know, like the show lasts for a certain amount of time then it's over. It's a fun podcast, right? So it's just fun. It's nice that they're also doing below decks

or they're expanding. They're doing like a bunch of different things, you know? I'm not trying to shit on what they're doing, by the way. I'm not trying to shit on what they're doing. I respect the people out there hustling. But like, just like, don't just, just, I think you get it. You know, just understand what it is. So don't be offended when I like,

there's people that listen to the ad that are offended. Like one of the guys got a fed. If you're offended by anything I say, why are you doing anything comedically? So don't be offended by what I say. If you're offended by what I say, if you're offended by what I say, don't do the ad. I don't care.

It means nothing to me. Less than, I can't explain to you how little this means to me to do. Genuinely, less than nothing. But don't be offended by it, because I hope people do genuinely check out your show. But this isn't real. It's not real. So I just want you, when you go to bed every night,

to know that it isn't, it's not a real thing you're doing. And I don't mean the show isn't real. I don't mean the show isn't real. Your show is real. I mean your life. Your existence on planet earth isn't real. It's not real. You're an avatar.

You're an idea. You're an avatar. You're a shadow that's reflected off a lake in the moonlight. But that being said, I would check out the show. I'm going to appear on their Below Deck podcast, potentially not now after this ad. But so listen, it's called Another Bachelor Podcast. And their spin-off show, their spin-off show.

They're spinning off, spinning off. If you like this, you'll love that. Their spin-off show is called Below Deck. It's another Below Deck podcast. Can I do a podcast about fidget spinners maybe? Yeah, they're done now. So that's it. I don't want to listen again.

I love everybody. I hope everybody loves me. It's all in good fun. It's all in good humor. Roll kidding around. So don't be offended. But to hear that anyone's offended by anything I said in an ad read is absurd to me.

And it's really crazy. Because I called the kid who has me doing these reads, and he wasn't offended. But he's like, yeah, one of the guys was a little offended. And it's like, what do you think it is? This is my dream. You're doing a Bachelor Recap podcast. And you're advertising on another podcast.

And you're offended about what the guy said. Like, what do you think you're doing? What world are you living in where none of it's real? What we're doing isn't real. It's not real. If my fucking show, which is great and listened to by people, isn't real. If Hollywood isn't real.

If the country isn't real. None of it's real. It's a simulation. If all of it isn't real, how in God's name is your Bachelor Recap podcast real? How are you getting upset about it? Think to yourself that. You're metadata on a fucking alien's iPhone.

Dummy! That's what I'm saying. It's more metaphysical. I'm not going at you, you simpleton. I'm not going at you. What I'm saying is that it's, you know, just enjoy. Just enjoy that you're in a unique period in Israel.

In five years, you're not going to be making a trillion dollar. It's over soon. You're at the end of this now. It's coming to an end. Podcasting's going to end soon. I don't know when it is, but it's going to end. So just enjoy what it is while it is. Don't get angry about what I say.

None of it matters. It's all, it's all fun. None of it's real. It's not real. The Below Deaths spin-off podcast, where you sit down and your sword starts. What are we doing? Which episode did we cover last week?

Did we cover three or four? Shut up! Just enjoy it because one day you're going to be dead and no one is going to care. Do you know what I mean? No one is going to care about your death. Nobody. No one will remember you.

No one will speak kindly of you. No one will value any of your achievements or accomplishments. You'll just be, you know how I know that? Because when I went to the Spokane Comedy Club, there were four hot dogs on the menu and they were the Carlin, the Pryor, the Rivers, the whatever. And these are the greatest comics that ever lived and they just became hot dogs.

Okay? And you guys are almost as talented as Pryor. Okay? But not. But like, you're like almost there. So don't be upset. That's all I'm saying. It's a fun ad.

You can keep running if you want. I hope people check out the podcast. If you don't want to run them, that's fine too. Um, you know, if I ever see them in person, obviously we'll never speak. I'm kidding. Again. Nice man, I don't like what he said.

I don't like what he said about my Bachelor podcast. I don't like it. It makes me upset. How am I going to go home from my wife and kids that I'm feeding off my Bachelor podcast when this guy's gonna shit on it? You know why Pryor Tim Dillon did that fat faggot? We got a Bachelor podcast and we advertised on a show.

You know what this fat faggot did? He shit on it, trying to make it like it was like stupid or something. Can you believe it? Yeah. No, I didn't say nothing about that below deck podcast. He kind of likes that one, but he didn't like all that. So just again, calm down, check it out. It's another, it's another Bachelor podcast

and another below deck podcast. And who are the three guys again? It's Nick, Dillon and Pat. Nick, Dillon and Pat. I think Dillon was the one who got mad. I don't think Pat got mad. He's the older guy and Nick didn't get mad, but I think Dillon got mad.

I don't know who is Dillon. Look it up, find him, it's not Dillon Roof. Dillon Roof has a Wikipedia. So let's apologize to Dillon. Who's it? I'm looking it up. Is any of the guy that worked at Corolla with them? It's like baseball over here.

Oh boy. Well, didn't we meet him when we went to Corolla? Isn't it that guy? Dillon Pete Wren, is that him? I have no idea. Edit his name out. Okay, I'll bleep that out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because God only knows what all people... Yeah, it's Dillon Wren, but I'll bleep that out. Yeah, Dillon. I mean, they can look it up. It's on the podcast bio, but... You don't want to make it easy. Dillon, we're kidding around, Dillon. You know, it's a joke.

It's you doing a bachelor podcast. Can I see him? Is there another photo of him? It's him? There's no photos of him at all? I mean, it's just Twitter. That's him, I think. Right here?

Yeah, he's a Jew, huh? That guy's a real Jew. That guy's a real big Jew face. That's what it is. You could call me a Mick face. That guy's got a Jew fucking face. You see that from coming from a mile away. You see that?

We're 16 minutes into this read. We're trying to have fun, Dillon. Dillon, the only chance to get fucking listeners is this. You fucking hide when you're on crack. It gives you shit about your bachelor podcast, unless we make it fucking interesting, okay? You know, you're not cleaning Adam Crowler's toilets because you're a genius.

Oh, you're a lot of bachelor, because it's another bachelor podcast. Are you assuming there's a plethora of these? Yeah, there's ones that are doing very good. I'll tell you how good they're doing. They don't advertise on my show. They don't want a 20-minute harangue. But I'm serious.

I support art and artists. And that's what we do here. So if you can be, if you can enjoy that and you can be playful and have fun with it, but if you're gonna be serious about it, let's just not do it. And I don't care about the money and I don't care about anything.

And I clearly don't. I pissed off and said a lot of crazy shit about a lot more people that could help me out than this fucking nonsense. So let's just come to fucking reality and understand it. We're having a lot of fun with this. You know what I mean? This is what we're trying to do.

We're trying to get you listeners. We're trying to get me listeners. Just don't be angry. This isn't like the, it's not the Manhattan Project. It's a feud now though. You're starting on a podcast feud. You're in a feud with the another botch up podcast guys. Oh boy.

Here we go. Hat ass. I mean, it's not a feud. I, listen, I like Nick. He's a, he's a, he's, you know, he's a person on earth. That, you know, I would not, I don't want him to like die because I don't want anyone to die.

Some people. So that's where we're at with this. We want you to check out another bachelor podcast with Dylan, the older guy, because I nailed them. When I did the first read, I kind of nailed them. One guy, you know, and then there's the other guy. There's Dylan's got to take it way too seriously. And then Nick just probably has fun with it.

And Dylan's just probably like taking it way too serious. And it's just like, dude. Let me get through the recap first. I'm gonna make jokes. Yeah, exactly, exactly. He's like, you don't know how to do it. You know, if it's not done right, no one's going to listen. I fucking, what are you imagining a world

where you tell your grandchild, you know, I had a bachelor podcast. I had a bachelor. Well, I wouldn't be a talent with Jews. Like, look at the bachelor. I'm trying to get Jewish. I had the bachelor podcast. That's how I made my money.

My grandfather worked at the diamond district. I had the podcast about a show called below death. When you saw the bachelor making that with Tina and the jacuzzi, how do you deconstruct that? Oh boy. Do you think we've done enough time for this? We're at 20 minutes now. I mean, you get what you pay for.

Don't you boys? You get what you pay for. I'm kidding about cleaning Adam's Coral's toilet. I'm sure you didn't do that. You know, again, enough. It's always got to do that. No, you did do it properly, but this is not my business. Was he going to do it himself?

So check out another bachelor podcast and another below deck podcast. Thank you. I feel like in the Democratic Party of yesteryear, there was a place for guys like us. You know, there was a little more muscle than Democratic Party. Well, this country, I mean, listen, Brian Dennehy was the, that's what people used to find sexy.

Yes. Shut your fat mouth. Brian Dennehy was a man. Okay. He didn't go to the gym like a faggot. He was a man. He had a gut. He drank beer.

He ate food. And he, and he got in his police car and he, and he protected the women and children. And that turned women on, Irish women on, it turned them on. It turned women on to see a man of stature with a little heft, little heft. And that was a sex symbol. Now, because that is now the men that are attractive now

are literally there to describe them as effeminate. It's like straight men that people consider attractive. Right. Timothy Chalamet is a feather. Yeah. He is a feather. He is the feather from the beginning of Forrest Gump. They just, he just floats around.

He doesn't have sex organs. He doesn't have a sexuality. He doesn't exist. He's just a wisp of a hair on his entire body. He's just like this tiny little- It makes Dustin Hoffman look like Tencent. Call me by your name should have featured me. That, that, that's what it should have been.

It should have been me. And call me by your name. I would have sucked off whatever his name is. Armie Hammer. And, and, and, and I said, I tweeted once a guy, Branham, I said, I said, I should be a call me by your name. He goes, nobody would ever believe you traveled to Italy. And I was like, good, that was good.

But that's what call me by name should have been. It should have been, you know, but we've, we've, we've destroyed the male. We've destroyed the male. We've gone from Brian Dennehy and people like, what's that guy's name? He's to date Lonnie Anderson. Rock Hudson.

No, no, Bert Reynolds. Oh yeah. We went from, yeah, that's a man. Of course he is. You went, that's right. We've went from Bert Reynolds to Timothy Chalamet. Timothy Chalamet is like, he's like, he's like a Petri dish. He's barely alive.

He's uncooked. He's uncooked. It's, I look, I don't know. He is uncooked. They just took him out of a pot. He's playing Bob Dylan. Yeah, I love. What the fuck is going on?

It's, it says something. He's genderless. Yeah. Timothy Chalamet is what Hollywood will be just androgynous drone people who have no gender and they all, they look perpetually like children with a disease. We're entering a kind of end time. Yes.

In that like. Get into this. We've never done this before, the end times. Get into this. This is new. Tell us about the end, right? We talk a lot of shit about how these Hollywood guys won't fuck kids. Right.

But what we're now seeing is they're kind of coming to a singularity where the kids, the adults are children now. Where the adults are children now. Keep going. The body type of a child, the body type of a wafie twink. Right. Of a prepubescent kind of boy with the face of sort of a man, but not really. Where are my roles?

This is what I'm saying. Where are my roles? Where are the roles for people that have skin problems? Why would I go outside? Does everyone look like they're one foot out of a coffin? Well, they didn't spend years in the crack house. But my point is this, they would, they'd be talented if they did. They suck.

He sucks. Shalame is a bad actor. He's a bad actor, folks. He's bad. He's not good. No, I watched little women. I mean, people. Oh my God.

Well, look, we get the screen. I watch little women. We get the screen. Sir, we mean the movie. Oh, I didn't see that. I didn't see that. But I've watched little women. I like little women because you can imagine,

put them in a picnic basket and then open them up and then they pop out. Is that wrong? Am I, am I technically representing myself or is my lawyer present? Look, I'm just saying, I like Lady Bird. I thought it was a fine enough movie. I watched that screening with Greta Gerward, president, and I accidentally bumped into her while I was trying to get some wine. I think I knocked her over a little bit, but that's not important.

Point is, I'm not a fan, but yeah, I went into it with open arms. I wasn't like, you know, because there's a narrative that went along with little women. I don't know if everyone's aware of it, but the New York Times, Vogue. Some people have lives. Yeah, I'm sorry. Well, but we have a problem of men watching little women, right? Like where like basically men aren't interested in watching. They don't want to see it. They're just missing about it.

It's a fucking children's book from the Civil War. Right. I've got these middle-class white women who are like, I don't want to get married, but they end up getting married. I mean, the movie was terrible. Right. And he was, he was all, he's in it. He's playing this.

Which woman is he? I forget his character. Got ya. Got ya, Chalamet. If he's watching, well, I'm very good. Wasn't a fan, but the whole thing was very flat and dry, but that's what it is. We're all on the same run. It's all the same, Chalamet.

You get that? You think you're better than me? You think you're better than me? Now I know that you have all kinds of people and whatever, and I don't care. We are, we're, it's the same thing. This is little women. This is the godfather now.

You ever work at a morgue? This is, This is it now. Because of technology, this is, this is it. This is Rocky. You want to fight me? He'll beat the shit out of you. I would love to see Timothy Chalamet beat the shit out of Ray Komp.

I don't care how much your cardio is. I would love to see Timothy Chalamet just fucking house you. Look, I know how to use my weight to my advantage. All right. I would just love to see him beat the shit out of you. He's not going to. I would like to see him. I'm gonna wrap him up if he fucking hits him.

I would like to see Timothy Chalamet do a pressure point thing on you, and you just drop dead. That's fake shit. I don't know. We're some kid in the 70s watching a Bruce Lee film. We're going to do a circle up the fist of death on you. No, I'm just saying there's ways to put you on the ground. Not for a child versus a grown fat man.

Okay. Well, we'll see. This is one of those things where it's like, it's like, you offer his air shall make, accept the fight. You bet. You know, you have to fight. You better throw the first punch. Don't bring your bodyguard unless, you know,

we're going to stand back. Logan Paul at the Staples Center. Ray Komp fights a homeless woman at, we're starting at a small bar and we're going to see if we can fill that. Sell 30 tickets. I think we can. But my point is that, is he a good actor? When I say he's a bad actor, I'm not impressed.

Am I wrong? No, look, you are a good actor. Name me a younger actor who you think is good. Shy is great. Shy LaBeouf is great because he's mentally ill. Yeah. I mean, he's also not that young anymore. He's not that young.

But who's great? Who really I see in recent memory. The kid from, did you see the killing of a sacred deer? No. That kid's weird. Good. Like, interesting. Who's the guy?

Colin. I don't know. The Irish guy is famous. Farah, Colin Farah. Colin Farrell. Farah, Colin Farrell. Other, what else came out this year? Young people in their 20s.

I'm trying to think. I love that every agent probably tells their Irish actor, don't ever say anything that's not written on its script. If anyone asks you anything, the way you feel about anything, just don't tell them. Don't ever say anything. If you're ever somewhere and someone puts a microphone in your face and wants you to comment on anything, please don't.

Right. Thank you. What else was big this year? What are the big movies this year? I'm trying to check my memory. We just don't, we don't have a lot of block people in Ireland. It's what I'm saying. And I mean, it's just kind of nice living with people that look like you.

That's all. I don't, what's the problem? The cannibal play Spider-Man. It's not a complex role, but much more charming than Chalamet. What's the name? Tom Holland. Tom Holland. Put Tom Holland into more things.

Put him into little women. Tom Holland's a little skinny guy. I'm not, he's not, I'm not saying, but people will look like me into fucking, you know. And now that's where I disagree. I am, I am. No, but it's a better movie. Listen, Little Women with You is a better movie.

It would be more interesting. It's a better movie to put a fat bearded pig in a, in a little, what are they living? A little Civil War cottage or something? It's a nice house. They're living in a nice house, and then you have this. And it's little women and hair. Hello, Joe.

I've come to court you. Yeah. Hello. Listen, I've come to court you. I brought some warm butter. Would you, would you like to sit on the porch with me while I regale you of some tales from the war? Oh, Danny.

Joe, we're fighting to free the slaves. I had a slave as a child, but I freed him before the war, technically. He still does some work for me and my family. I like him very much. Joe, would you make love to me now? Under the starlight? I mean, it's a better film.

I'm picturing it immediately. You're in like a, like a, like a, like- The Seed Sucker? No, you're in like the, whatever the war uniform of, of the Union Army. Are you in Jack? Yeah, you're in the Union, and you're, and you just, and you're sitting there on the porch.

Bursting out of my scenes. Yeah, bursting out of your scenes. And Joe is sitting there. She's like unhappy. You're going to touch your knees. And you're like, Joe, I've been thinking of you during many a long night in the field. Do you think you'll ever get to cook as good as your mother, Joe?

Your mother is such a good cook. I love her sausage biscuits. This meat is very tender. I like tender meat, Joe. That's one thing you should know about Raymond. I like tender meat and free slaves. Those are my two favorite things. But here's my deal with Xiaomi.

Xiaomi, no hate on you, Xiaomi. We'll hang out. We're boys. I love you. You're my friend. Let's give some poke. I got to remember that I'm in Hollywood now, and at any time, I can become best friends

with any of these people. So I'm just kidding. Timothy Chalamet, if you want to hang out, let's hang out. I'm kidding. I'm joking. No, yeah, no. It's a joke. Billy Eilish, if you want to hang out with me

and go drink blood by the LA River or whatever you do, I will do it with you. I will do it. I could be a backup dancer. If you want to go to Winshills and eat doughnuts, let's do it. Do you see a lot of famous people eating doughnuts around here?

Because I think doughnut culture here. Ray is fascinated by the homeless doughnut culture. It is something that we need to take you to a late, maybe tonight we'll take you to a late night doughnut shop. Sure. Because you really, really, you comment on yum yum doughnuts and you notice Winshill. You've noticed a lot of the doughnut shops.

There's a lot of doughnut shops. It's just something that we have plenty of Dunkin' Donuts, but it never feels like the Dunkin' Donuts or like the doughnuts never seem prominent. Ben knows a little bit about the doughnut shops. Obviously, Mexican people love sugar. They love, what do they call it? Pandalus, whatever it is?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pandalus. They love sugar and they love the sweets and it's just what it is. It's not racism. It's what it fucking is. And they work very long hours and they need coffee and sweets and that's what the game is.

I also like sweets because, so fuck off. Okay, don't hit me up. I'm Mexican, I actually don't like that. Well, then you're one of the ones that suck. But tell us a little bit about the doughnut culture because you know about it because you've spent LA around slugs. Like you kind of know. And I don't mean Mexican slugs.

I mean, doughnut shops that are open all night are not always attended. Mexicans go in the morning because then they go to work. So what is it about the doughnut shops? Do a little... Well, I'm glad you didn't make me say the Mexican thing on my own. I'm glad you said that. But it's not racist to say Mexicans like sugar.

No, they're up at four in the morning. They need their sugar in their caffeine to get going. Correct. It is what it is. Correct. But there's some iconic places. We might take you to doughnut prints. I think...

Doughnut prints are the prints. Yeah, up in Burbank by the safari inn. Like the Son of a King prints? I mean, when you get there, it's not really... What is iconic about doughnut prints? I know Tom Green used to like periscope and like march down there and people would like follow him down the street to go to doughnut prints. Well, that's kind of light in terms of the iconic.

But like that and Bob's big boy are two kind of iconic places. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, but the... Yeah, are any of the doughnuts in any of these places good? That's my question. Really? No, not really. Which is my bad.

Better than the doughnuts, really. We'll go to Koreatown. We'll go to California doughnuts maybe after this. Is that good? I think it's okay. I think it's pretty good. California doughnuts? I think it's good.

They're better than Krispy Kreme prints. Do you remember the California raisins? Yeah, I used to love them. Do you remember the California raisins? They were the best. I know my mother loved them. What was the deal with the California raisins? They were claymation raisins, anthropomorphic raisins,

that were part of some kind of, I guess, Motown band that they were singing like... By the way, this gets very racist and we have nothing to do with it. No, it's just... We did not make raisins black people. But is that what it is? I don't know that they were fine California raisins. I know.

If I watched it again now, it might seem more racist. I'm sure it's very racist. I'm just saying this. No one's brought it up in a while. Motown was a predominantly black genre of music. Yeah, listen, of course. I'm just saying, I don't know why... The raisins are black?

I'm just saying, it's almost like people were like, hey, maybe we should just... Oh, because they're black. I didn't talk about it, but you're right. But you like raisins. Like, that's why I feel like the executives, like the people behind this, were like, hey, you like raisins, don't you?

What if we stole black people's voices and talent and gave it to raisins that we created? Yeah, I think you're right. So we don't have to pay black people. That's what I think it might have been. I don't know. I'm just guessing. By the oldest diversity in Hollywood,

I love that it's excluded, like black people who are some of the most naturally talented people ever. You know what I mean? But we have to watch romances. It's like, I love that it just doesn't get to black people. It's like Muslims, Asian people, transgender Sri Lankans, but it will never be black.

It's like, that's how racist Hollywood is. They're like, just not black people. Anyone else, there'll be alien films. There'll be films with aliens in them before they give black. It's just how racist Hollywood really is. They really just... It's insanely racist.

It's gross. And they're like, yeah, we'll give you a little... You get here's a little Aquafina, a little Rami Yousef. And that's it. And they'll do shows and have a sassy black friend who will come in and be like, you look good. And that'll be it. Instead, you know, which it's just wild

that that particular discrimination doesn't seem to end. Yeah. I mean, you get the... And the people will chime in. What about the, you know, Atlanta? What about, you know, the wire? Yeah. And you guys look great.

And they're all great. That's the thing. It's like, they're great. It's like, a lot of times, all black people do think it's actually really good. And there used to be a lot more, right? But then we went, in the last few years, they found unfunny black people,

which is almost impossible. Like Hollywood's went and found just unfunny black people. It's like, I don't even know how you found unfunny black women. They've been through more than anyone else in the country and they're genuinely hilarious and they're tough and they're gritty in the sense that they've been through shit, which is where humor comes from, real humor. And how you've like found unfun...

It's like, wild. There's a level of like, you know, it plays into so many racist stereotypes of like... Everything's got to make white people feel comfortable. Exactly, yeah. Everything's got to be cuddly. It's got to be cuddly for white people. You know?

It's like, they'll make a movie where it'll be... It'll be about like the Civil War and it'll be about like Robert E. Lee's wife having like second thoughts because she met a black person. And the whole movie will be a hero arc about Robert E. Lee's wife. You know? And she'll be like, I really changed my thoughts. Well, that piece of shit.

I still love Robert, but I realize now... And they'll be like, what a beautiful film. That piece of shit that won the Academy Award. Green Book? Yeah. And it's like, I watched some of it and it's like, V. L. Morgison explained fried chicken to like... And it's just like, you ever had fried chicken?

And he's like, I don't eat it. He's like, look. It's just based on a true story because like... The idea that it would be some kind of racist stereotype that he ate some fried chicken in his life. No, this man's educated and talented. So he's never had fried chicken. Like it's some crime for some guy who's a...

I think he's a penis in that movie, some famous penis. No, he wouldn't have eaten fried chicken. Like, what do you do? What even is this? It's crazy, but I just love that that's the version. It's just like, it's the white savior. Yeah, exactly. You know, a movie about one of the most heroic women in history,

Robert E. Lee's wife. She learns about racism from like, you know, she has like a chance encounter, you know? Robert E. Lee's wife is like, my understand that Robert was fighting for the world he knew. Well, I have to fight for the new world. No climax here going, are you sure you want to do this? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just checking. All right, Robert. Well, I understand that the world is complex. And then, you know, like Charlize Theron will play the black friend. Charlize Theron, I love you like. Be like, hey, bitch. And she'll be using like, like 20th century, like verbiage in the thing. Yes, queen.

Yeah. She'll be like, you changing your, you really changing your views and I'm here for it. I'm here for it. They'll be like, great job. Charlize is South African. And I'm not one of these people that thinks that like, you know, I'm not one of these people that's like,

oh, wait, it's an Asian thing. It always has to be in it. Like, but I just think it is kind of like to me, there was nothing fun. Somebody said that they were going to have Julia Roberts play Harriet Tubman. There's nothing like years ago they thought there was really, there was really going to try to do that.

There's nothing funnier than that conversation. Because you knew what happened. You knew in somewhere in the nineties, that conversation happened when executives like, we're going to give it to the biggest star in the country, Julia Roberts. I don't care who it's about. Did you see, and I'm not a cultural appropriation guy at all. I don't give a fuck.

It's whatever. But did you see, sometimes it's so funny, they gave white models on a runway show, Dreads, and blonde dreads and black dreads, and it looks so wildly inappropriate. They all look like they were guys when you like, from the Florida project. Yeah, yeah, but it's like,

they were wearing these like Egyptian headdresses with like dreads. And it's just so funny to me. By the way, people in fashion are all insane. They're all insane. So it's just funny when they parade that insanity on a runway, and then you just look at it and you go, not only is it unappealing visually,

it's just insane in this climate. I mean, for years now, it's been like, they're so far behind the curve. Right. Like last year, they had that thing with Johnny Depp, where he was basically doing like, it was some kind of Native American ship, but he was like, it was some perfume,

for like Chanel or whatever. But like, it was the Native American experience. But as told by Johnny Depp, the guy who played Tonto in the Lorne Ranger. Yeah. Nobody knows Native Americans better than Johnny Depp. It's just so funny to me that there's people that are, I mean, it is like Gucci will do something.

Every now and then they'll be like, you know, Gucci will be like, Gucci prison. And they'll have like, you know, orange outfits. It's like Gucci jumper. By the way, they will start closing down prisons, and then they'll turn them into theme resorts where white chicks will take selfies. And they'll be like, heading to brunch

in the execution room. Like, and they'll just be taking it. Will they ever do an Alcatraz? I'm sure they do, but it'll be like resorts where they'll stay like they'll stay and the cell door will slam. And they'll be like, it's time for mimosas. You know, I'll see you on the yard, bitch.

They're going to be on the yard. Like, it's going to happen. It's just what's going to happen. Can't do anything about it. Just enjoy it. Just enjoy it. Closing thoughts, Raymond. This is again, I want to explain this to everybody

because I know that we're going to get a lot of comments that you don't like to studio or you don't, or you think there's lots of things that are not up yet. It's an evolving thing. I mean, the life, the back life, for instance, needs to be up higher a little bit. Like, you don't think we know technology? Help us if you want.

If you have something to say. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hold it. First of all, shut your mouth. Help us. We just said to them to all shut the fuck up. And now, and now you're telling to help. Dude, none of these people are going to help us

in any fucking positive way. What I think is not watching. Help us. Hey, don't help us. What we're saying is the lighting is going to get better. We're going to put stuff up here. It's going to look cool. We're playing around with things.

This is a process. It's not something that happens overnight. This will take a little bit of time to get it exactly where we want it. And you know, if you want it to happen quicker, stop listening to the other podcast. Start listening to mine. Start subscribing to the Patreon.

Start doing all these things so that we can get higher numbers, so that we can get fucking a nice chunk of money, so that we can get a big, beautiful studio like everybody else. And this is beautiful. I mean, it is going to be very nice. We're trying something a little different here.

We want it to be a little dark. We don't want, you know, traditional studio. We want something different. You got to break a few armlets to make an egg. That's not at all it. That's not. You got to break a few armlets to make an egg. You know what?

Listen to me. Listen to me. You got to break a few heads to make an egg. That's what my father used to say. Break a head and you get an omelet sometimes. Where can they find you? You're on the Patreon a lot. People are like, oh, Ray is not on the show.

Ray lives in New York. I live in California. Ray's on the Patreon a lot. I always try to get around the Patreon because it's a great show with you on. I love doing the show solo too. I'm going to broadcast and podcast more. There's always room for you to be on the show.

There's going to be enough podcasting for me to do solo. Some people love when you're on. Some people love when I'm just yelling by myself. There's ample. There's- Look, the ones that you're alone, great. They're all here. There's enough of everything.

There's really enough of everything for you to enjoy something. You fucking, never enough for you fucking people. This might be a transition time. In two years you might look back. We have a whole podcast network. I'm living in LA. We don't know. Yes. Right about the time podcasting ends in two years,

we'll have a network. Don't worry, folks. And then we're all going to get on my space because it is a bubble and it's all crashing down. Know this, folks. Most podcasters that are enjoying success right now will die horribly if history is any indication of what happens. It's just what's going to happen.

It doesn't mean that I'm happy about it. So you can follow me at RayCump, Instagram and Twitter. The Cump podcast is relaunched. And here's another thing most people don't know this. You are fighting Brendan Schaub. This is a huge thing. He's just been announced. Ray and Brendan Schaub are fighting because-

Now, he was a professional fighter, but you used to run, what, five miles a day? I used to run five miles a day. I'm willing to bite. I'm not sure if he's used to biting people when he fights. Interesting. So what is your strategy? Because he could kill all three of us easily.

So he walks into the room right now. He's going to fight you. What is your strategy? The strategy, if I had to, I'm not looking to pick a fight, but if he's going to push me in the limit. Yeah, no, good. I like that you're ready on war footing. If he's going to push you to the limit.

You know, I'm going to wrap him up as much as I can. Now, explain what that is to everyone. Wrap him up. You're going to wrap him up. Now, I'm going to try getting close. Look, I'm not going to do anything striking. I'm not going to out punch the guy. Right, interesting.

Thanks for clarifying. The only shot I have is to kind of use my body weight against him as much as I can. He's not used to fighting guys in my weight. No one is. Or maybe guys in the prison. Is it possible that he punches you and loses his hand in you? Yeah.

Look, he might not be used to. I'm insulated more than some of them. Like if he punched you and he went like elbow length inside of you, could you then kind of just like go? Yeah, I'm going to dig his eyes. I'm going to bite his mouth. You're going to bite his mouth. Yeah.

It's soft. So anyway. Got tickets for that. Our love is disgusting and cump. Cump is kind of doing a little bit of a soft relaunch this week. We're going to come back with more regular episodes and transition to twice a week probably and do a little more Patreon stuff.

So revisit cump. Revisit our love is disgusting. I do with Lucy Steiner. She's hilarious. It's a great podcast. And yeah, at Ray Kompach, we're Instagram. Tim J. Dillon, D-I-L-L-O-N on Instagram, Twitter. I'm launching a tour and it's going to be maybe not launched

by the time this episode comes out. If you fucking heard it here, you heard it here first. It might be launched. I'm not announcing the name yet, but we're launching a tour. We're going to be in like well over 30 markets in 2020. In terms of weekends, tickets are going to be available on timdilloncomedy.com. Really excited about that.

Patreon, the Tim Dillon show, you get an extra episode every week for $5 for $20. You get an extra episode every week plus, an extra episode monthly. We're doing video now in the studio four times a month every week. This is going to be, we're going to be committed to that. It's going to be an entirely different experience visually. We're going to really work on this.

We're going to cover the tables. I mean, again, this is real rough stuff. It's real fucking DIY. You're getting it here. You're in on the basement level and the elevator is only going up. Topatic suite. You see what I mean, kids? So, I mean, this is really where it's at.

So, grab tickets. I will be at Zanies in Chicago from the 5th through the 8th. Just in out Charlotte, North Carolina. This comes out Sunday. I've already done well. No, it comes out this Sunday. So, if you're in fucking Charlotte, North Carolina, or you know someone who is,

I'm going to the Comedy Zone in Charlotte. I love that club. I'm going to be there January 29th, 30th, 31st. I'm heading to New York City to do my favorite fucking Super Bowl party. Selvolcano and Practical Joker does amazing Super Bowl party. And then I go to Zanies in Chicago from the 5th through the 8th. I'm at Zanies in Chicago.

Grab tickets for that. Then I am at the Grand Giraud Theater in Toronto. Valentine's Day, the 12th, 13th, 14th in Toronto. Fucking amazing. There's many more dates. A whole tour is coming. We're really excited about it. I've got a new hour material.

We're getting ready. We're going to really get it out there for the next six months. Then maybe shoot it, put out a special or whatever. And you know, whatever. Catch me on Spade Show. That's a funny show that I enjoy doing. But subscribe to the YouTube channel, the Tim Dillon Show.

Subscribe, rate the podcast five stars. Give us a positive review on Apple Podcast. Listen on Spotify if you want. Get our numbers up on Spotify if that's where you get your podcast. Listen to the Tim Dillon Show on Spotify, Google Podcast, whatever. We are everywhere. Okay. You should be too.

Closing thoughts. It's all coming apart. It's all coming apart. Don't ruin it. You got it. When you went, just leave it at that. Just leave it at that. Don't try it.

Don't try to follow what was just brilliant. Thank you very much. And listen, let me endorse because I want to help people too. Let me give my presidential endorsement. And my presidential endorsement is for Dick Cheney. So I will, I think Cheney is the only guy right now that has the gravitas. Don't you love when they used to describe politicians like that?

They'd be like, well, he has gravitas, you know, which means he will murder people. Nixon had a lot of gravitas. That's what gravitas means. Gravitas means he will chew on a pork chop while, while countries are getting carpet bombed. Gravitas. That's a guy with gravitas.

Hank Kissinger had a lot of gravitas. He has gravitas. He doesn't let a genocide upset his meal. He's got gravitas. Why don't you get some gravitas? And also, and this is not a joke, and just very quickly, we are releasing a line of jewelry, exclusive jewelry by podcaster Tim Dillon.

You know that I've been passionate. You know one thing about me is I've always been passionate about jewelry. Oh yeah. No, you watches, rings. I love jewelry. It's something that I've loved my entire life and my growing up with my parents and my mother loved jewelry and my father loved jewelry. And there was something special about,

there's something special about having a nice rock. Sure. People also know about me that I love creating opportunities for people. Right. You know that about me. You're a giver. I give. What I want to give people is an opportunity to share my love of jewelry with strangers

for a profit because I want to create a pathway to a better life using something that I love. Talk about a time in your life where my love of jewelry has helped you. I remember where I thought I had testicular cancer at one point. Yes. That was a tough time. And I got into the urology. I was waiting for my son Graham Results back. And you were just calming me down,

banging on a table with this beautiful topaz ring. Yes. And you were just banging saying, can you shut the fuck up, you fat idiot? Yeah. But the ring, it was a calming presence there. And you're like, you don't have bulk cancer, you fat fuck. But like the tapping of the ring.

Stop doing it on the table. I described it enough. Stop touching the table. Right. But what it was was a perfectly set stone. It was a perfectly set stone. And what I've realized about jewelry is that it is the constant. It is a thing that doesn't go away.

People die. You know what I mean? Sure. The earth will die. But good jewelry, a perfectly set stone, will last forever. I'm asking people to go out into their communities door to door and knock on people's doors. And then when people open those doors,

I want them to tell a story that you just told. And I want them to say, would you like to see an exclusive opportunity from Jules? Well, this is what it's called Jules by podcaster Tim Dillon. Right. That's rules of the tongue. But a lot of people don't know how to create those opportunities. So we're having a sales seminar in the Arizona Marriott.

And it's going to be $7,300. And it's going to be three days. Success ain't free. Never is. And it will teach strategies to not only, because it's not only about selling the jewelry, it's about understanding the product, falling in love with the product,

and understanding why the product is needed. It's going to be a real come to Jesus moment for a lot of you. Many of you don't know. Many people that leave the seminar, I left the seminar last year, they asked me to pay more. They said, can I give you more money? And I said, no.

I said, don't do it. Give it to your children. And they cried. The amount of weeping I witnessed that weekend. And we're not in desperation, but just like their lives were changed. They realized they could feed their families. They could get that boat.

People were coming up to me after the seminar and saying, my life had literally no purpose. I mean, literally, I would sit at a stop light and go, there is no reason. I just don't drive in the oncoming traffic and close my eyes until I started selling jewelry for you. Right. A woman asked me, feel this,

feel my, she took my thumb and she put it on her wrist. This is where I tried to slip my wrist before. Right. And I couldn't even do that. Right. But these are scars. And now she's making upwards of tens of hundreds of dollars. Don't even tell them because it's, you know what it is?

It's not about the money. It's about the feeling you get when you've put the perfect jewel, the perfect stone with the perfect person. That feeling. And yes, are people necessarily susceptible to this all the time? No, because it is a hard sell. Because we were asking you to go door to door. We were asking you to go door to door because there's a lot of

federal government, there's a lot of state governments and local townships. They don't want you to succeed. They do not want you to succeed. And they do not, they do not allow us to market effectively on the phone. Because of, because they are afraid, they are afraid. Break it with your rats. All the quarries, they're all on by the government.

Listen, we don't need to get into this, but this is real, you know, look into it. All I'm saying is this. So I need, we need, so what needs to happen is you need to get gorilla out there. And you need to, you need to just be able to go door to door and, and actually catch people. I don't want to say off guard, but I want to surprise people. I don't want to scare them. But here's what I will say.

Is anything good in life? Does it ever happen if you're not a little scared? You got to put the fear of Jesus in them. They need to know that, that you got to create a sense of urgency because many people just watching their lives go by. And if you knock on their door with a perfect opportunity for them, it's much better. And because we are prevented from reaching them on the phone and right now in most states on the internet and because we are unable to reach them that way,

we're, we're going old school because I love face to face. I like to sit down with someone face to face. And you can, another thing is you have parties in your house. You bring your friends over. This is not a Ponzi scheme. Many people who've been threatened by our success have called it a Ponzi scheme. And whoever these people are. Ponzi, look, a lot of these things out there, they want you to buy the merch.

We want you to sell. Sell hard. Here's the question. What does a Ponzi scheme even mean? What does it even mean? It doesn't mean anything. It's paperware. People are upset with us because we want to empower you.

That's it. And Jules by podcaster Tim Dillon enables you to become independent from government assistance, from the assistance of your family. You're going to be able to get that car, get that apartment, turn around. I've had people come to me years later and say the catalyst for me to change my life, the catalyst was an emerald that you showed me in Flagstaff, Arizona at a Hilton. Because they said I looked at the drill and I became, so listen. So again, we're not going to just belabor the point here.

I'm just saying this is real. It's not a bit. It's not like a bit on the show. I want to help people. You want to help people. You're man enough to take it? Or woman enough or non-binary. We have a lot of non-binary people.

Are you genderless enough to do what you need to do? Let me tell you now. If I told you how many non-binary people were making millions of dollars selling my Jules, you'd lose your fucking mind. You'd lose your fucking mind. Okay. So Jules by podcaster Tim Dillon, we're setting up an exclusive website. We are going to set this up and we are going to do a seminar.

I really want to do a seminar. I think we could really cherish their lives. I genuinely want to do a seminar. See who comes, come to it. It's got to be in a hotel in Arizona and I want to do a seminar. And we want to talk about, because the jewelry business is changed. It's like anything else. What are some of the large changes you've seen in the jewelry business?

Look, there's a lot of these chain stores. They're coming in and the certificates of authenticity are really, they're kind of poisoned in the well. They're missing the point. This, where did it come from? It's conflict free. What does that even mean? It's missing the point.

Everything in life is conflict. What is the stone? Where is it? We're getting ahead of ourselves. Are you happy? Does it make you happy? What do you see when you look at that? The sparkle?

It's sparkling. You're going to tell me it doesn't sparkle? Man, man, look. Look at your finger. Look at your finger. Do you know some of the unha... This is some of the people that I know that live in misery. You know what they do?

They ask. Do you know what they spend their whole life doing? Asking questions. They ask questions. They just go, what, why, who, where, who, what, why, where. It's like enough. Just lead. So that's an important change now is that

we're facing a lot of things in the marketplace. And one of them is consumers that are demanding unreasonable things from us. It's the classic case of you go to a doctor and you're going WebMD and you're trying to diagnose yourself. Yes, you think you know. You don't know. We spent years doing decades. People want authority.

People want authority figures. People want people to speak with authority. And people want people to take their hand and say, you close your eyes and I walk you through. I walk you through. You don't need to. I people like to remember that quote. When there was one foot set of footprints in the sand,

it's because Jesus carried you. Let us carry you. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. We're closing for you. Let Jules, let Jules start selling Jules by podcaster Tim Dillon. I'm telling you, it'll change your life.

So timdillacomedy.com, which is again, I'm a comedian as a side business, but I've done a lot of great things for a lot of people. I'm not ashamed of it. I used to be ashamed that I helped so many people. Isn't that wild? Isn't it crazy to be ashamed of helping others? You know why I was ashamed?

Because I thought, am I God? Because I'd helped so many people, I thought I was God. And that's why I was ashamed. Because of course, I'm not technically God. What is God? Correct. But the amount of people I'd helped, it was starting to get, it was getting tricky.

Because it was like, I'm not a human being. Like I've done, I've brought so much love into the lives of people. You know what I mean? I've never seen the footprint, the impact of one man touch so many bank accounts. Yes. And we demonize money now.

Bernie Sanders. Right. And the other one. Bernie Sanders wants you to be poor so he can help you. And the other one. That's a gimmick. You know, Acacia Cortez. Right.

Whose grandfather was Hernan Cortez, the explorer who discovered chocolate and their multi-millionaires. They're great. You know Cortez? He was quite... Didn't he, wasn't he a Mayan explorer? Yeah, I think it was a little older than the 1600s.

My point is that she's from a Mayan family and sacrificed children on it. He wasn't Mayan. Who was he then? He was Spanish. For Portuguese maybe. My point is this, okay? Who is she to take your money?

Who is she? She, look, she's going to take it and she's just going to... We're going to multiply your money. Here's what she doesn't want you to be. She doesn't want you to be educated and she doesn't want you to have your own thriving door-to-door jewelry business.

She thinks you're a slob that she needs to be. She thinks that you can't put a watch on someone and change their fucking life. Take their wrist. Take it. You know, and that when... Because you, you weren't a great salesman when I first hired you.

What changed? What made you? Because then you started really closing deals and I think it was because, correct me if I'm wrong, I think it was because early on you didn't submit to the program immediately. Right.

You were a little skeptical. Like many people that are listening to this right now, they're skeptical. But then eventually, I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you basically started really applying the rules and doing the work. Is this true?

No, I would second-guess you. I would say, why would this work? I wouldn't be willing to go to the links you wanted me to go to. Right. I would take no for an answer. I would, you know, not use my presence and my physicality as a tool.

Which is important. Right. Because a lot of people need to feel that this is an important moment in their life. If your life is not in danger, how are you going to use... When you stand in someone's doorway, let's just say it this way.

When you stand in someone's doorway, they need to know you're there. And when you say to them, I have a unique opportunity from podcaster Tim Dillon. People go, I can't afford jewelry. Go, listen, that's a common misconception. But what I'm going to do is I'm going to sit down with you and you're living with your kitchen table.

We're going to drink a cup of coffee. I don't mind if it's not the fancy stuff. That's a good line I use. I go, I don't mind if it's not the fancy stuff. Sank is fine for me. And then if they don't have coffee, I say there's nothing wrong with water. And then in many of the places we sell this,

there is a lot wrong with water. And so you shouldn't have anything. But what I still do is I sit down at their kitchen table with them. And the last time I did this, a woman offered me cereals because I didn't have any milk. And we ate dry cereal together. And I still made her understand how important it was for her

that I walked out of there with a commitment. I made a woman cook me eggs once. Yeah. And she was happy to do it. Probably. I mean, I didn't make her, but I insisted. And she understood that those two eggs, it really cost nothing.

What's an egg a cent each? That that will open the window to a new life for her. Where is she now? Right. She's passed. And that's, but you know what? But she was doing well for a while. And you know what?

And I'm sure that her family's not scrambling to get funeral money. She said have a better life for her family. Covered a lot of expenses. We'll leave it at that. Yeah. We have testimonials we'll read on the next episode. Her children are happy.

This is what it is, folks. My name is Tim Dillon. I sell jewelry. I'm a podcaster, but that's not what excites me. What excites me is creating opportunities because I believe everyone in this country is an entrepreneur. My cousin has Down syndrome. And most people think he would not be a good jewelry salesman.

If I showed you the amount of jewels that he sold, you would be shocked. One of the smartest men I know. Well, because he's one of the smartest people I've ever met in my life. And I'm going to make him a vice president of the partner of this guy. I don't know what the corporate structure is,

but I'm going to put him- You're going to put his name on the accounts. And he is, I mean, he's amazing. And we love him. And we love him. And we love- He's a little handsy sometimes, but that look. He does what he has to do.

It's all love. It's not coming from anything else but love. So if he touches you, he loves you. Right. Stop complaining. I'm not afraid of love. And I think a lot of you people are afraid of money. I'm not afraid of money.

I'm not afraid of helping. Okay. So thank you, everybody. And good luck out there. We'll have details about the seminar. And, you know, like I said, at the end of the day- And this is really the quote that I've- That I've really lived my whole life by at the end of the day.

Stop asking questions. No, it's the end of the day. That's the end of the quote. Why are you gesturing to me? No, I was just saying, that's it. You were looking me like something else coming. The quote is at the end of the day. No, I was content.

At the end of the day, that's what you tell people. At the end of the day. Do you understand what I'm saying? 100%. You look like- I live the message. Live the message. All right.

The end of the day. The end of the day. The end of the day. Live the message. At the end of the day. Good night.