The Tim Dillon Show - 186: 186 - Blagojevich

Episode Date: February 9, 2020

Tim breaks down the Iowa caucus "conspiracies", remembers a woman who made a great impression on him at a young age, and how to find inspiration in criminals. For weekly Bonus Episodes: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow Tim Dillon Live Dates: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows Please Support Our Sponsors: Go to www.ridge.com/tim to get 10% off a ridge wallet. Get the ridge, folks. Cannaeprogear.com use TIM to Get 15% off. It's the last backpack you'll ever need! Do you love a good rom com? T Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show live from Chicago, Illinois Broadcasting here from the heart of America Five sold out shows at Zany's. Thank you guys. We're having a lot of fun over there Also, if you want to catch me in Toronto, those tickets are almost sold out But I'll be there for Valentine's Day and if you've seen my act, you know That nothing gets the pussy's wetter than my act I am a I am an act where you just fuck right afterwards. Maybe dirt So just know that I am an act for romance

So if it's your first date or if you're trying to rekindle a flame from a marriage that has just gone the wrong way especially the latter if you're in a failing marriage my set Might either expedite that process to where you just walk out and go I don't even want to see you again, or it might rekindle that old flame that you had when you both met each other years and years ago But those tickets are Valentine's Day in Toronto I Was watching the Democratic debate last night

Watching what happened in Iowa is great. This is the year of who gives a fuck This is the year That the Illuminati just doesn't care. They're just they're going balls to the wall. They're losing power They're it's not working the ruling class. They're it just they don't need to disguise Things the way they used to Epstein hung himself in the cell The app's not tabulating votes. What's the app called? It's called go fuck yourself. That's what it's called It's called the shadow app

I love it. It's just fun You have to enjoy it. Now. Yes, there's elements of it They should depress you as it is the crumbling of our civil order to an extent But you got to love it the shadow app by acronym can't tabulate the votes in the Iowa caucus They just they don't even take any care or concern with the name When they're coming up with this when Langley, Virginia sends people out there to go work in tech firms and they come up with these fucking Stars for Whitney webs written all about this. This is the future by the way. This isn't like a You know, this is an anomaly. It's not an anomaly all of these tech firms are getting into

Voting, how are we gonna vote? They're all building election technology and it's going to be used and manipulated so that it says whatever it wants I'm telling you right now. They're not gonna let Trump happen again. They're gonna try not to they're gonna do the best they can to Limit people's ability to vote and and you're seeing it. It's just gonna fucking happen. I mean, it's just kind of hilarious You know and then of course who do all the votes go to they go to mayor Pete Mayor Pete who's the president of a town that's not even real South Bend, Indiana It's not real doesn't exist. If you go to where they say South Bend, Indiana is on a map You'll be turned away by military police. My friend did it last week You're turned away by military police. There's a bunch of tents and there's guys standing outside with guns

But there's no South Bend, Indiana It doesn't exist if it exists. It's a city that's built under Washington DC. That's it Telling you that right now and mayor Pete who couldn't be more Of a CIA shill in that race. He could not be more Of I and I love like his quote where goes yeah, I had an interview with the CIA. I really botched that Did you did you Pete? I've only known you for a for a little while. I think you probably did very well

He's their guy in the race. You could tell he's coming out there with that strong neoliberal position. He loves war He's ready to you know, we got to just keep the economy The servicing people that have billions of dollars. This is the establishment position CIA works for the establishment all they do Essentially is pave the way For billionaires and corporations. That's pretty much what they do. It's what they've done all over the world It's what they do in america. They're just hired guns. CIA is just hired guns

Okay, they're doing the It's not all wet work. It's not all killing people. It's not all knocking people over although some of it is that But a lot of it is cultural It's you know, who's the guy that we're gonna find that we're gonna blackmail or that You know, once it's so bad, we don't even have to blackmail them and somebody said something about mayor Pete wants to me Which stuck with me. This was a well-placed person um

in a in a pretty You know established Family that has money And he said the real scary guys are the mayor Pete's of the world They're the guys without money and without connections But they want it so bad that they will do anything He said those are the truly terrifying people You know people that come from nowhere come from nothing

You know a lot of these people by the way, that's how they are thrust onto the national stage They're the mayor of a town you've never heard of well Why do a bunch of billionaires and billionaires love the mayor of why do they love the gay mayor of south bend indiana? Why is that guy their their choice? What exactly about him excites a bunch of billionaires? Is it that uh, they want the first gay president? Perhaps but why why do they want the first is it because they they care about uh human rights? No, it's because it's a great way to sidestep

Any meaningful critiques of somebody and this is why you have like identity politics happening in the way it does Where we just elevate people based on their sexuality their race their gender And it doesn't matter what they believe who cares what they believe doesn't matter I you know my friend we talk about this uh comedian that we kind of know She's like a lesbian. She's muslim But you know when you see iraq, you know what it all comes down to that she likes hats That's all it is. She doesn't have a specific Particular perspective. It's that she enjoys hats. She talks about her hat. I like wearing hats

My friend ryan likes hats. They're the same person. They're essentially the same person She just happens to be pakistani and lesbians doesn't give you a perspective But pete is their man in the race you could tell you can feel it It's If that's it's your instinct and you're correct They didn't think he was going to be the president. They thought biden would get the nod or maybe warren would get the nod pete was supposed to be a vp This is what I think happened. I think pete was going to be a vp

They want one of their guys in the white house They want one of them in the white house if it's not in the oval They want somebody the billionaire cartels the people that Own the corporations own the land own the resources employ the cia those people want a uh

A sympathetic ear in that building whether it's the vice president or the president and buda jej was the guy clean uh a gay guy married South bend Indiana midwest served in the armed forces. He has the resume You know probably turned into a cia asset when he was overseas. Maybe not who knows And people don't understand when you're an asset of the cia. It doesn't necessarily mean That you're sitting down in langley virginia taking orders although you could be

It means that you're on their team and they're going to do everything they can to help you whether you know it or not And and he's the dude 100% He's the guy mayor peat is The guy that they want And I don't think they fact I don't think they figured that joe biden was going to implode the way he did because biden is he's completely senile He has no idea what he's talking about. He's smelling the hair of children. He's making out with his niece Uh, this is what he's doing. I mean he's full throat Making out with his granddaughter on stage. No one no one knew that was going to happen

Nobody figured that they were like, well, you know, he kind of kept this under wraps during the obama administration Uh, but he's just deep throat fucking Open mouth kissing his relatives on stage. He's you know, massaging people. He's a creepy old guy I don't I don't think he's a pedophile. I just don't think he knows what's going on anymore I think he's maybe in the early stages of dementia Um, I don't know what's happening to him. I just think he's completely falling apart. His senses are crossing. I don't know I don't know why you're smelling someone's hair On a debate stage. I don't know why you're picking up children and you know squeezing them till they pop

Whatever the problem is nobody anticipated that that was going to fucking go as left as it did um Warren's unforced areas are amazing because he you gotta realize there's billionaires watching this the way that you watch the super ball They watch this the way that you watch the super ball and they go, I can't believe who is allowing this to happen this bitch took a dna test To prove that she was uh, a native american it comes back She's not like no one forced her to do it. No one put a gun in her mouth and forced her to do it These people like the guys who own raytheon in general dynamics and bowing. They're all like what the fuck

Is this bitch doing she's throwing the game? And they can't have that so you gotta back a guy like mayor pete now mayor pete is a cool cautious You know cerebral guy Hard to put him on the fence, but you know spent all his money in iowa. They wanted a big showing in iowa, but Make no mistake None of this is an accident. I don't believe that I don't believe any of this is just happenstance I think that

part of the problem is that People don't yet realize where we're at Because everything the economy is good And people are largely employed even though not a jobs that they want The ruling class in this country is losing power The people are turning against the government really

Maybe for the first time Since the 1960s Are you seeing movements being built Where the aim is to upend The social order People are tight. Donald trump was a wrecking ball that people threw at the system. They didn't want hillary. They didn't want jab They don't want your biden

So if you're a billionaire, what do you what are you to do? You know you you have to find somebody that these people are going to coalesce behind You have to find an obama. You have to find somebody Who is going to have? you know the gravitas To keep the fucking train running because otherwise it gets messy Trump it's messy sanders. It'll be messy

When you have an anti establishment guy in there that's willing to call out the cia call out the fbi When you're willing To go to those links to totally remake Society starting with your own political party trump remade the republican party sanders will have to remake the democratic party democrat big democrat donors Are fucking losing their minds. I know somebody who works You know in a company where like john carrey is a partner And you know john carrey was was uh on the phone the other day somebody overheard his conversation

He's like, I mean what should I run? What are we going to do like? These guys are losing their grasp on their party. They're losing their grasp on the country And you're starting to see so then they have to fight back They can't just they're not going to go quietly into the night. That's not what having billions of you You don't amass billions of dollars by being agreeable They're not just going to step aside. They're going to have to kick up some dirt And they're going to do everything they can they've thrown a lot of shit at trump None of it is stuck

Trump is a corrupt guy. He spent years and years Hold on. Chicago. There's a fucking ambulance in chicago every somebody shot in chicago every 15 minutes So this is why there's ambulances Going on but they threw everything at trump nothing stuck Now maybe when he's out of office something will stuck a stick. I don't know I have no doubt that there is corrupt dealings that they could unearth by the way And I have no doubt if they looked at obama or clinton. It's the same fucking thing Okay, but what are they going to throw at bernie?

So the first thing they threw at bernie was just kerfuffle in iowa Where an app couldn't tabulate all the votes and the late reporting pre-saints all broke for bernie sanders. Fuck you You know what this is You know what it is bernie could have come if bernie won iowa. He might have come out of there not You know with with with a mandate It might have started to look like the the big money or the momentum he would never have got He's not going to get the big money, but the momentum Clearly grassroots party activists would all kind of flow to him

They've They've bought themselves some time now now bernie's gonna to he's going to win new hampshire Then the media is going to talk about the new hampshire doesn't really matter. This is the next thing they're going to do They give it well, we always knew he was going to win new hampshire It doesn't really matter We stole iowa from him and they're going to hope that he gets beaten in south carolina or on super tuesday And they're hoping and praying to god and if by some miracle He gets the nomination and wins then they're going to do a version of what they're doing to trump

He's not going to be allowed to govern with a mandate. He's going to be Attacked from all sides You know, they're going to have people in the democratic party that are turning on him in the same way that the republicans flipping on trump This is just what they're going to do. You might hate trump. You might hate his politics. You might uh Think he's a destructive force in society all of that You you can think is true. You cannot doubt That from the minute he took office. There's been a coordinated campaign from both the media and the intelligence agencies to discredit

this presidency 100 percent and if you think it's just trump If you think it's not going to be Bernie you're out of your mind. They just don't want anybody Rocking the boat and they're going to throw scandals at bernie. They're gonna they're gonna, you know back People they're gonna they're going to turn people in his administration Against him. They're going to have people spying. I mean, this is what they've done forever. It's just not going to change The the problem is it's becoming more obvious. They're getting more desperate as you get more desperate When you're a criminal and you get desperate the crimes become you start grabbing things, you know

You know the old smash and grab midday in the middle of a public park You're just fucking grab somebody's pocketbook and run. Why because you're desperate That's not a highly organized criminal activity You know, you're fucking doing what you can to steal some votes in iowa From this guy, but it's very interesting to watch happen The good news for all of us is that corporations have governed the country for a long time It's really not the elections as important as they are

You know if mark zuckerberg stepped down at facebook It probably has more of an effect on people's life Then you let for now for now But it's gonna it's gonna it's gonna ramp up and you're gonna see just a constant Until the establishment can get a mayor peaton there until they can put an obama back in there until they can get somebody who's fucking just Plays the game. It's just gonna keep getting worse. It's gonna keep getting obvious the media which is now in 100 shill mode And I mean to a point where they're telling you your eyes and ears don't work

That's the job of the media now. They come until your eyes and ears don't work What you just saw isn't happening. It's not happening. What you just heard isn't happening. That's the job of the media They go, there's nothing to this these conspiracy Before there were conspiracy theories about iowa people on msnbc being like, my god, there's conspiracy People think that this shadow app is somehow connected to I know that mayor peats campaign funded it a lot of campaigns funded it and listen I know a lot of the people that designed the app worked for hillary clinton A lot of people worked for hillary clinton stop it shut up eat your wendys and go to bed pig

Stop reading articles Stop reading reddit threads and go to bed. Everything's fine. There's no conspiracy here. What are you trump? What are you a russian? I mean, this is the the full-time job of the media right now. It makes you long For the days when everybody was was was just checked out the days where I grew up my first experience in chicago was my my friend We we met a woman who had a an impact on our our life when we were children Uh and not children, but we were in our early 20s. We were children. We were young kids

we didn't know the ways of the world and Uh, we were in a bar in east meadow long island called dug ins which used to have really good wings and I'm sure it still does but we were there and we were all boozed up we were all fucked up having fun and this woman attractive In a stripper-esque quality, you know, she was hot Well, not beautiful

but hot She was there was uh, you know, there was this sexual energy to her. She was just You know She was down for it. She was that type of Woman she was dancing on the bar at at dug ins and then my friend joe who was about Maybe at that point a little under 300 pounds also got on a bar and he was dancing At dug ins and but but truly light on his feet like a Jackie Gleason and

He just missed falling off the bar and he was so hammered. He didn't know what he was doing, but just graceful Like a like a figure skater just the grace Of him dancing was really something to see we all just stood there and stared At him because it was like amazing to watch and this girl dancing on the bar as well Finally got off the bar and she came over to me and she goes who's this fat fuck and she pointed to him and I was like, oh, that's my friend joe and uh, she she had met us a few times we knew her she was

She was friends with some of our friends. She Had a presence in levittown long island levittown is the first suburb in the country and uh, you know, there was a lot of promise there post world war two and now it's mostly, you know flea markets and heroin but you know That's what it is now and that's what it was starting to become then it was just a suburban You know

It's trashy You know One guy said once to me, you know one of the kids that we knew in levittown. We walked in. It was a little levitt house I think his dad put like a new pergo wood floor like fake wood man They love that over there. They love fake wood because you could drop things on it and spill things on it and You know, you could have fist fights in the room and nothing would ever affect the quality of the flooring um So this guy gets a pergo wood floor which cost about five hundred dollars

And then he said to me he goes my dad put a new floor in this house He raised the value of the house 50 thousand dollars and I'm like, well, didn't it didn't the fluff Jesus fuck Does that read on the thing Okay It just drives me nuts the sirens drive me nuts here. I mean, it's just fucking insane We're gonna get we'll be back in the studio. This is uh, you know, we couldn't record a podcast We're announcing a 34 week tour. It's uh, you know, there's a lot going on here But this idiot then explained to me that his house was now worth a hundred thousand dollars more money

Because his dad spent five hundred dollars on a fake wood floor and I tried to tell him that that wasn't true And he just stared at me and then you realized it like you couldn't get through to these people. They were just They were just biological waste, you know, that's really what they were They you just stared at them and you were like, okay, sure, you know, whatever you want Um, but we met this woman and she started dating my friend and and and immediately she was a whirlwind She was a whirlwind. It was just fights and problems and Websites that her name was mentioned on where people had accused her of all kinds of things like writing fake checks and Stealing their money and and and being a con artist. I liked her immediately

I really liked her immediately. There was something about her. I enjoyed. She was a lot of fun to go out to dinner with Uh, she was a real con, you know, she worked people over she had dudes in different towns It took their fucking money and I think that's great. I support all of that Um, and yes, she was ruining my friend's life, but someone's got to ruin your life That's really what it comes down to someone has to come into your life and destroy it unless you'll do it yourself Somebody's got to come in with a big dick or a wet pussy and destroy your ability to make decisions They'll destroy your relationship with your family. They'll destroy your motivation Your ability to work at your job

They'll put distance between you and your closest friends. Someone needs to do that You don't live a full life Unless you've met someone where you literally will follow them into like some now You know a lot of people don't don't don't go that route which is fine, too And they have other things and whatever But most people in the world you're just waiting for that to happen. You want to meet somebody Who will just you could just you know Just say fuck you mom and dad if you don't like this person you don't get them

You don't understand them. So that's what it is. You're either going to destroy your own life or someone's going to do it for you That's the way this world works. That's all it'll be drugs. It'll be alcohol. It'll be food It'll be sex. It'll be your own ambition. It'll be money It'll be your fucking ungrateful children. It'll be the job that didn't give a fuck about you It'll be some soulless multinational corporation that you spent 45 years in that one day You just go in and you've got a gun and you're you're fucking pants and you're ready to just blow everybody's head off You know who knows it's going to be one of those things. It might as well be a stripper from chicago It might as well be a cocaine addict from the suburbs of chicago. Why not great tits? Why not?

It's going to be something It's going to be a bad real estate deal you did with your brother-in-law Something's going to get you don't get out of it alive folks. It doesn't matter Make your mistakes young And he did and my friends made their mistakes young and You know old and middle age But we met her and she was immediately a whirlwind. She was immediately somebody who Came in full force

Had opinions about everybody about everything You know, I saw this my dad. I mean my dad's wife came into his life My dad had had one failed marriage. She came in. She's like, this is the way your life is going to be run And my dad's irish and irish men marry their mothers and he goes, okay, good I need a mother. I need someone to come in and tell me what to do Where's the washer and dryer? How does all of it work? When do we pay our bills the first of the month? Okay, I'll try that For years and years we've been paying them when whatever we could but we'll try to pay them on the first honey

That's a good idea. She came in and just cleaned it up. You know this woman came in I don't want to say her name. I'm not gonna say her name We're gonna call her because this was her nickname her nickname. We called her blagojevic because rod blagojevic was uh, I believe the governor of illinois and rod blagojevic, of course was a shady guy and I think he's in jail right now And uh blagojevic. Yeah, he was an american politician in the 40th governor of illinois and then he was impeached convicted and removed from office in 2009 and uh

You know He was you know from you know, I mean chicago is just the most corrupt state in the union He was removed from office for corruption bribes all of that stuff You know, it says Blagojevic was impeached to removed he solicited bribes for political appointments including barack obama's vacant us senate seat after obama was elected president fun

So he's was sentenced to 14 years in federal prison. So for the rest of this we'll just call this woman blagojevic because You know, she was from chicago. She played fast and loose with the truth But again, she was a fun person not always she had tantrums and things she'd go out to bars and fight people You know, she was one of those people It's one of those people you'd go to a bar and you'd be having a cigarette outside And then all of a sudden she'd be being thrown out by the bouncers, you know You know, I'd go where's she where's blagojevic and then she's in a headlock two guys are walking her outside, you know She wasn't jackie kennedy. Sure

um but my friend You know, his parents, you know being boomers. They were just kind of like letting it happen They realized like I did that, you know, that generation of people from long island those those boomer parents They they were not helicopter parents. I'll tell you that much It wasn't like the asian tiger mom where they they were just like, hey, let it happen You know, we lived our life. We had our journey. You're gonna have yours

You know, and that was it. It was kind of hands-off I'm the guy that's featuring for me now is on the phone with his dad the other day And it was so nice and his father was so invested in what he was doing and wanted to know about everything he was doing And it's like, oh, that's what parenting is supposed to be and my friends and a lot of our parents They were they were they were wild people. They were fun. They were big personalities but You know, it was about them. They were they were invested in them that whole generation of people They were just invested in them and their kids were in the picture, but weren't the picture

and I remember this this woman and They you know, like many of these relationships, they break up. They get back together. They break up. They get back together She goes to jail. You know how relationships are folks You get back together Somebody goes to jail for identity theft. You get out of jail. You get a little coke You put some of that on the street. You make a little money. You lose a little money You have to go back to fuck some other guy. You don't know and you fucking write some fake checks, you know

You take his credit card. You take an advance on that. You're bouncing around. You get it It's relationships. That's what they are. They're all deals. We're all making deals every minute of the day She was always up to something, you know Phone conversations and parking lots where no one could hear her that type of stuff a fun woman again Someone that I watched from afar end up close. I had no real investment in the outcome I didn't want her to murder my friend But I knew that that was a possibility and that would have been okay, too Not that I wanted him to die

But sometimes people make a choice and they can't unmake it. You got to follow it to its logical conclusion We always used to kid around, you know, she had an older grandmother and we said she's going to kill that woman She's going to push that woman down the stairs to try to inherit money or something We always believed that and we thought my friend would go along with it. We go He'll probably do it too. It's just what they have to do Sometimes you can't get in the way of somebody's story Sometimes you can't sit down with someone and go listen. You have to be a good moral person It would be a waste of their time. Not everybody's here to do that

Some people are here Not for a long time, but for a good time. They're going to have a little fun They're going to make it interesting. They're what you're going to talk about in the diner while you're eating your eggs You're going to read about them in the paper Some people need to be that person and you can't get in their way. So many of you are moralists. It's so boring Oh, stop doing drugs. Stop stealing money. Don't be a whore. Oh, fuck you Some people find that that's the only way they can feel free The only way they can feel alive. It's really not my business. It's truly not my business

I'd rather you not abuse children. You know, I'd rather you not but I will say I think this woman for all of her You know negatives was a decent mother, you know, she had kids from many different races. She was woke What I'm thinking is When I remember her I remember Just somebody who when you were with her anything could happen, you know, just you just felt I mean and I literally mean anything and I remember one day We were sitting in my friend's home in Long Island And the state police showed up that about four cars

And they knocked on the door and they said is Blagojevic there. They didn't use that word. They used a real name My friend Ryan was like, uh, no, I don't what who? And they said, well, this is how you were because at that time she was on indiana's most wanted She was on a list of people from indiana's most wanted For fake checks, I think identity theft things like that the most wanted they they wanted her in other words and they were coming And my friend opened the door because we knew

You never know the level of skull duggery. Someone's involved with especially somebody like her She was kind of a pro almost a pro Like she was pretty damn good at what she did. She wasn't great at it She's in jail now because you got a few deweys, but she was pretty fucking you know The state police showed up and I said, hey where's blagojevic And he was like, she's not here and they said, listen, this is how it works. We have a warrant for the property

We're gonna go in and if we find her You're gonna go away as an accessory Because that's how this works. So I'm gonna ask you one more time Where is she and my friend just looked at them and he went She's in the kitchen And they got her they took her away and I remember my friend's father. He said, you know what was scary about it He goes, you know, it was really disturbing. He goes you guys you're big fucking guys

You're my friends like a bodybuilder type guy long guy because you guys you're big fucking guys He goes if state police had showed up to take you guys to jail You would have been panicked. He goes you would have seen it in your face He goes this bitch showed no emotion. She just walked the fuck out of the house Stone cold he goes. She's a career criminal. I remember having dinner with them And he goes she's a career criminal and I was just we're just drinking martinis and eating and um They were trying to make him understand but not for that long because then you know They started talking about buying condos and you know in florida and you know the boomers, baby

They were just basically like now more importantly, our son might be dating somebody on the most wanted list But let's discuss condos. Let's discuss how we can get out of here how we can get away. Let's plan our escape um But she was an amazing uh fun Lady I remember the first time I was in chicago because that's where she came from she came from the suburbs Her mother ran a business

Her mother had money. They had money that a big house in the suburbs That fucking money She didn't come from yeah, this wasn't she had just enough money to know she wanted more money And you know, she just couldn't live the you know, straight life just wasn't in her She just wanted it to scam or con. She wanted somebody to work over She wanted to just put money in her pocket that wasn't hers. You know, it's just what she got off on doing You know And my friend, you know came from from some money and I think she thought this is uh, this is a great way to kind of just

perch myself You know next to somebody that has a little money and then also, you know is is is you know My friend also You know morally bankrupt and you know, I mean like to an extent we we were all drug addicts. You know, we're all doing drugs We were all You know the we weren't exactly, you know Upstanding members of society. So she never felt uncomfortable with us um, but I remember we drove

To blagojevic's house to give her Uh dogs because her and my friend um Had just this is true Uh a guy had left they became friends with this guy He went to europe for a year and and they were I think maybe supposed to get his mail or whatever they just moved into his apartment

They just moved into his apartment And started living there and then until that scam was up and they were thrown out of that So these are just their grifters. They were living in someone else's apartment. I mean, I came over I go Who's home is this? Oh, it's some guy. We're just living here. He had no idea they were living in his fucking apartment So they when that when that when that unfortunately when that was you know, when the time was up on that scam She went back to chicago You know, my friend during this time was like working

for gyms In long island, which would I don't even know what that means. I think he means just selling hgh in the parking lot of an apple bees And she is doing, you know odd jobs. I mean, I don't know that she ever had a job She was dancing. I think she was stripping. She was all over the place And so we take this road trip with these two dogs to chicago And we visit the house of blagojevic and we meet blagojevic's mother And this woman was wild 300 pounds if she was a pound pack of marbara mental lights

Moka frappuccino grande every day in a big fucking truck I was in the front seat with her and she was just screaming on a next time at somebody I think she was in trucking or whatever She was just wild She was just a tough bitch And that was blagojevic's mother I was like, this is a fucking This is a wild family her dad. I don't remember her dad at all. She either means he was like a soft-spoken guy or I don't know

But the mom was the dominant force in the house a no-nonsense take no prisoners, bitch We built a business. Fuck you. She knows money. She knew her business inside and out Don't fuck with her type of lady respected the hell out of her only knew her for a few hours really but enjoyed her you know and then And you know, we hung out it was st. Patrick's day We all got drunk. You know, they died the river green you know and my friend

and me dropped the dogs off and then we went home and It was a fucking Really interesting relationship to watch It ended as they do as these things do, you know um My friend started dating another woman from long island and they started doing heroin

and this girl Had a few deweys and it is is serving. I think almost a decade in prison right now and It's sad That those things happen, you know, it's unfortunate But would I have wanted it another way? Would I have wanted it another way the answer is no

Because we just have to let things happen would I have wanted you know them to be You know missionaries for the church going around and trying to show people the light of

Christ I don't know no They were fun people and sometimes when you have a lot of fun in life You pay a little bit of a price. I've paid a price. We've all paid a price and So my message out there is if you have fun people in your life, and I mean truly fun people not like fun people like Oh my god. jelly is so fun. She's if you drink and she makes everyone dance I mean really fun people indiana's most wanted state police

People getting arrested front page news articles. You won't leave your wallet in the room with them You think your phone might be tapped That type of person their family pulls you aside when you walk into their house and go you should stay the fuck away From them that kind of friendship that kind of fun if you have one of those Keep your distance be smart, but also don't try to make them into something. They're not it just isn't going to work It's not going to work They know who they are and they're they're leaning in They're having the journey they need to have

Maybe later on in life. They realize the errors of their ways. I'm sure you know, whatever I'm not saying go out there and hurt people But if you know somebody and they're a con artist a cheater a grifter a derelict, but They're fun at dinner. It's so important to be fun at dinner go out with a substitute teacher and listen to her mouth Listen to her talk about grading papers and parent teacher conferences and you will run back To somebody who's on the most wanted list if just for the fucking story You're only on this planet once how bored do you want to be?

How meaningless do you want all of your interactions to be? You've got to find some people that spice it up You do and that was who this was that was blagojevic. She was spice My friend would call me, you know our other friend not the one that was dating her, but another guy he'd be like, yeah, man, he's like She's in real trouble now. They got her on this and that Somehow she's out. She made bail. She's back out We're all gonna go to dinner and go great

You know fun I don't know listen I don't judge. I mean, you know, we all do in our own way, but you just got to let it happen folks She was a fun woman. I feel bad that she's in jail now I feel bad that that problem that negatively impacts her family. I feel bad that my friend did Went on and started doing heroin. I don't like any of those things. They're not good things But my role in that situation was nothing

It was simply to watch many of you think you're too powerful This is the problem You think you're too powerful that people give a shit what you say they're not they don't and you're not sit back You relax Let it let it run its course. It's gonna go where it's gonna go. Anyway, your opinion not with standing Your little sit down not with oh, you're gonna have a talk with someone You're gonna have a talk with them. You're gonna straighten it out. You're gonna go, you know You know, you should not uh keep doing coke with this stripper. It's got a hot box and you fucking should

No, you gotta you gotta just rain it in and Slow it down. You're living to know it's stop. You're wasting your time You're wasting your time what you say to them is what he got some coke on the street. Are you making any money? Let me get involved Be smart Obviously, you don't be the guy handed people bags, but go in there with a few bucks See if you can turn your money around flip a little money. Yes I'm telling you if you get the chance you should sell cocaine

Not serious about that or am I I don't know I don't know your life. It's not my again. None of it is my business Meat cute. Do you love a good rom-com? There's a new podcast called meat cute making short scripted rom-coms and take you from meat cute to happily ever after in just 15 minutes Eat man. No one I loved before this ad read was bought. No one listened to this show Each meat cute story is made up of five three minute chapters Their mission is to give you a much needed burst of happiness and hope These stories fit in your earbuds and anywhere in your day You can find meat cute on your favorite podcast platform

Or wherever you listen to audio including Spotify and apple podcast Meat cute already has a library of stories waiting for you featuring diverse characters steadying and storylines New stories drop every monday wednesday and friday subscribe to meet cute and follow them on instagram to stay up to date with the latest love stories Well, there you have it You can't it can't be dark all the time folks. Sometimes you need to You need to go out there and and find some some light some hope some love and that's where you go to meet cute Meat cute. I mean What is this? I don't even know

You can find meat cute on your favorite podcast platform Yes, it's a podcast and they have a library of stories waiting for you featuring diverse characters settings and storylines I mean, I wonder is this like porn? Are you jacking it to this? Is this something that's like when you listen to it? You're like, I don't even know or is it just like a rom? I guess it's just rom-com like lovey like romantic comedy Made in Manhattan J Lo's the maid she meets a white guy blah blah blah. Isn't that the plot of that? I think it is right? I think it's that type of shit

I would love to advertise porn podcasts on here. I think that might do a little better for my audience, but Meat cute as a library of stories waiting for you Latest love stories. It's made up of five three minute chapters. So each story is made up of five three minute chapters I should do a meat. I just did a meat cute I just told you a lovely story about my two friends who met each other and had a great relationship Which is many long island relationships ended in jail and heroin Meat cute

Five three minute chapters Be great the meat cute story Jeffrey and just slain Jeffrey and just slain He was a successful banker from new york city with a checkered past She was a british socialite whose father was an asset of the israeli intelligence service He was in she her father was a media mogul. She had a keen eye for men that just needed a little polish She met jeffrey Meat cute. They knew they liked each other immediately

They started a business trafficking children to the wealthy elite of the world They started a they started a startup servicing billionaire pedophile satanists wild meat cute I don't know Who that is for this meat cute um

You know when you it could be for listen, maybe it's great. I haven't listened rom-coms can be funny. I should listen to it I don't know who's for uh, but you know what it is. You should check it out. I'm actually going to check it out out of pure curiosity because I don't want to I don't want to like i'm curious as to what you can do in three minutes And there's five chapters five three-minute chapters and i'm wondering will they let me do my version of a love story i meet cute i'm guessing no

But I would like to do a little scripted Three-minute story And I just don't understand I don't understand why I can't do that meet cute I love that the first ad is like get a backpack to overthrow the government second ad think it's cure Do you want cure? Do you want rom-coms? cure

It's nice I don't know what to tell you man. Go check it out. You know morbid curiosity. It might be fucking great It might be gray or not We'll see goodbye. I just had a conversation the other day with somebody about this particular situation and they're like You know, we should have done more. We should have said more. We should what? What are you gonna say?

It's obvious what's gonna happen. We all know what's gonna happen You don't start dating a stripper and think that it's gonna work out. It's not gonna work out But it's gonna be fun Doesn't anyone care about fun anymore. Doesn't anyone want to be entertained Doesn't anyone want to be in a car with a somebody who's committed multiple felonies and will continue to It's good Listen, you can't do it your whole life. You got to grow up. I'm 35. It's not fun anymore It's a lot of fun in your early 20s be friends with criminals in your early 20s

It's worth it in your late teens and early 20s be friends with criminals. It's valuable Watch the way they live and work. It's fun. It's not all bad. The life of crime is not all bad There's some value to it. You got to understand that you got to understand it because You know in the society that we live really everything's a crime. Everything's a hustle Everything's fake before it's real. It's all bullshit first, right? You want to be an investor You want to be uh, or you know in real estate you want to be this you want to be that Whatever you want to be you're not that when you start and eventually you have to become that And I think you could get a lot of inspiration from criminals

You could get a lot of inspiration from people that literally have to do everything themselves Criminals get very little how unless they work on wall street. They get very little help from the government Everything's a grassroots operation. I mean this woman had to knock over men on her own time She learned all those skills It's not nothing It's not nothing to to you know to be wanted for identity theft in several states It means you had a little bit of an operation going, you know Learn from these people. You don't want to emulate their activities per se

But there there's something refreshing about a criminal somebody who's there to take your money and rob you Somebody who doesn't have any morals that sees life as a zero-sum game They want to claw your eyes out take everything from you. They just try to that's why they're so good in bed They're just trying to fuck their soul out. They don't have one. They're trying to feel something and they can't you know You know the people that are the best fucks aren't the people you're necessarily going to marry, you know But they are the people where you should probably hide your wallet or at least lock it up until they leave These are people that you need to spend a little time with you shouldn't have an entire existence on planet earth Okay, without

Fratinizing with a few of these people you might not want to get too deep. I got a little too deep With some of these people because I was a druggy and drugs make you sloppy They make you reckless, but you should observe life You should it shouldn't all you know, I talked to elites I took the guys who go to ivy league schools and their lives all they've spent their whole fucking life From the lacrosse team to the fucking ivy league school to the private club they go to with their dad It's all the same fucking people. How boring is that? Don't you want to be doing coke in a pay-by-the-hour motel in tampa?

Yes, you do you want to have a full life I love the fact that I spent many years of my life doing cocaine in in in uh, you know, essentially flop houses I mean, you know, it's it's I look back on it. I would not have traded that for the world I really would not have it's the best education. I've ever got criminals Are interesting

You can't You know, you you shouldn't be a criminal if you're not good at it But they're an interesting type of people and you realize that it's not all the government It's not all some program that's going to fix everything You make everything fair and equitable and nobody's going to commit crime. Fuck you. You want to live in that world? You want to live in a world where nobody's trying to fuck you over? God. Can you imagine fear is good? It's good to know that people want to kill you. It's it's incredibly healthy I've always maintained that you can yes, you shouldn't be overly paranoid and you shouldn't be overly cynical

But you should also realize that people are trying to kill you Both of those things can exist in your head both thoughts simultaneously. They can both be true This is just the nature of the beast. It's the nature of what human beings are our lives were enhanced by blagojevic Blagojevic Was fun. She kept us on our toes She kept us looking out for detectives in our rear view mirror. Who's gonna get her somebody's gonna get her They always get gotten It's just the way it is

Most of them end up in a cell but You know, if you're lucky enough If you're lucky enough You'll know them for a brief period of time And they'll enrich your life with their chaos with their insanity with their scams and their scheming They'll make it fun They'll give you a story to tell on a podcast while you're in chicago waiting to do shows

You know, they'll give you someone to read about in the papers later on when you check up on them and you go, oh Yeah again You never knew her. I didn't know what kind of person she was. I mean I mean inside I mean on the outside. She was a bad person and on the inside She was also probably also bad But I didn't know that I never got close to her that close. I was always around her But you can be always around people and not really know them, you know

But just don't necessarily Don't exclude criminals From your inner circle. I think it's a big mistake. I think you know Trust me Mayor Pete doesn't all those fucking people that are funneling money into his campaign criminals They're a lot better at it, you know They don't get deweys and end up in jail, you know

They don't get, you know, taken out of a long island kitchen by the SWAT team But criminals nonetheless No politician says no to criminals. They all love criminals Because the richer a criminal is it's so easy, you know, the redemptive powers of society are just They just work. It's like, well, you know, when somebody has a lot of money, they're allowed to make some mistakes You know fudge a few things blur a few lines. They're still a good person They've done a lot for their community You know, they've just made a few errors errors in judgment errors in judgment. That's what it is. So

Understand you can't understand America without understanding crime What what and I don't mean, you know, low-level desperate street crime I mean institutional criminality crime people that are willing to find ways to subvert the democratic process To get around the law

This is what we've done forever, you know, the wild west the mafia We love criminals. We respect them We have them on our walls in our house. We idolize them. We watch films about them Because what do they represent down deep? They represent freedom Freedom to do whatever the fuck they want to build their own empire to not have a boss to not take any shit from anyone To not have to worry about your family or your friends to be able to protect people You know to be an outlaw. These are the things they represent now in reality That's not always the case. In fact, it's rarely the case

But it's what they represent what they represent. We like that. We like trump. We like trump's a criminal. He's a criminal He's a big real estate developer with a bunch of buildings in Manhattan He's done business with a ton of shady people his entire career. We like that. Fuck. Yeah He can say whatever he wants. He could live in a big gold apartment and just fire off tweets from the shitter He's a boss. He's a mob boss. He's a don. We love that shit We love it. So even if you don't want to be friends with criminals up close Don't come to me and say that i'm some type of hypocrite. I mean not hypocrite or that uh, you don't be a hypocrite You say that i'm uh oversimplifying things. No, you love criminals, too

Why do you think you watch all those martin scorsese movies? You love them? You just don't want to see what it really is what it truly is You just like criminals when they're when they're uh, you know done up in movies when it's hollywood But I like the organic version the grassroots You know the people that are just getting started and unfortunately blagojevic she never made it to you know, really fucking people over You know inheriting that company or mother ran and

You know really get involved in some import export shit getting mobbed up You know, maybe one day. Maybe one day it'll happen. We don't know But she was what I'll think. I'll always think about her when I think about chicago I'll always think about That period of my life You know sort of this lawless corrupt Individual that came to symbolize the entire city

I like her, you know, I feel uh, I would uh, I you know, I would I'd spring her out of jail If I could I can't but I would I get her my friend together and we go to miller's alehouse in levittown Have a nice little reunion, you know Because that's what it's all about, but I can't do that and I'll probably never see them again That's the way life also works But you know, I don't regret spending time You know with a real with a real one. She was a real one, you know

I hope one day somebody who knows or listens to this and You know, don't be mad at her. She was just going. She was just going where she was going Stop getting in people's way. Let them live your life. Stop getting it. We all know the woman that like Gets excited when someone falls down In a train station because they can help. You know, that woman is you see it in her face The woman who wants to be in control of everything. She also wants to be seen as like a helper So, you know, you'll you have one of them in your family as soon as some something happens She goes into like this mode where she's like, let's go right now. I'll help you go this secure the perimeter

I'm gonna get him. You know who this person is She wants to help and she also wants to be the boss. She wants control That's what she wants. She she only comes alive when tragedy happens. You see this person She perks right up car accident. Boom. She's ready to go. She darts out the door. She's ready to she wants to cradle somebody's head and their arms that's who That's what a lot of people are a lot of people out there Just want to help not to truly help because they just want control. They want to feel alive

They want to feel important. But what you have to do is just let it fucking go. So in closing here folks I think we've we've learned a little bit Your youth is supposed to be for making mistakes surrounding yourself With the wrong people fucking some of those people pushing You know the boundaries of where you should be Become friends with very rich people

Become friends with very poor people Become friends with uh people that don't follow the rules Break the rules yourself occasionally if you can you know You can face the consequences Become friends with people that are fun laugh Do the wrong thing

every now and then There's a singer that I like who said she goes. I don't do things for the moral of the story. I do them for the story and I think that's That's where I've come around to on bogovitch just a great American story A girl raised wealthy no reason for her to behave the way she did none zero none that makes it all the more fun That makes it fun if she was a desperate girl coming from the projects. We needed to do this. It would be sad but this story is fun

Because she comes from an upper middle class Upringing and she still wanted to go into the dark corners of the world. That's a fun broad Beautiful idyllic suburban home Business she could have stepped into and ran but fuck it. There was just something there something dark Something a thirst that needed to be quenched, you know, and you realize the limits of you know, good god Listen god bless bernie sanders. I hope you get everyone free college. Half of them won't go What are you gonna do then show up put a gun to their head? The problems in this country are are you know, they're institutional, but they're they're also personal

They're also personal I don't know exactly how you're gonna you're gonna turn this whole thing around or you're probably not gonna But when I saw that big idyllic suburban home that she came from And then where she decided to go and the places that she Wanted to spend her time you started understanding that sometimes people there's just an itch inside of them That they need to scratch And and and sometimes they're gonna scratch it so much that you're just gonna start bleeding and bleed to death It's what happens and you really can't get in the way of that

If you try too hard to stop those people You will get involved with those people and become those people and then their horrors Become your horrors That's the problem and maybe that's what you wanted anyway Maybe all the help you were trying to give them is because you just want the chaos and the drama Because you thrive on it and you want to do it But you don't want to steal anyone's identity, but you like the idea That you're in this trainwreck's life step back

Watch it like you watch ozark You try to help the people on ozark. No Why because they're not real Just like this just like anything. It's not real. It's just a story being written somewhere and you have no control over it The writers decide what's gonna happen They decide who dies who lives who goes to jail and you just watch it and the minute you try to involve yourself in it Even in the crusade of moralism. I'm gonna do good. I'm gonna you become You become the story

You can't tell the story if you become the story. So step back Get away Walk the other way There's a few people in life that you truly love and you truly care about and i'm telling you right now don't even help them Because you'll hurt them You'll hurt them if you help them if someone you know falls And you hear them screaming and I literally mean this If you hear an elderly person that you know screaming

Put on put in your earpods And just Just listen to doja cat Listen to juicy juicy and eventually the screaming will stop Because that person will have either given up or they'll die But it was never your business anyway. You know people make their own decisions It's not a big fucking deal. You know, you know God bless begoyevitch

You know Hopefully your kids turn out great. They will the the family has money. It'll be fine or not again Not not my thing not my thing My friend good guy love him. He'll straighten himself out or he won't again Not my thing You try you try you try you try and then try and gets boring It gets boring

You know, maybe some people's destiny Is to just Bonnie and Clyde Ride out and hail of bullets and you're getting in the way of that You're getting the way of that because you want them to go have brunch Leave them alone Let them do what they're gonna do Don't necessarily, you know, keep your distance But enjoy the ride

Enjoy the ride out there You know That's all it is. That's what the billionaires do. They enjoy the ride They manage it when they can they manage They get in but The end of the day What happens happens Tim Dillon comedy dot com live dates were back in the studio next week all the episodes

You're gonna be in the studio going forward. This was just a very long week in Chicago doing a lot of shows There was not much we could do in terms of that Tim Dillon comedy dot com for all live dates And I hate recording not in the studio um I just love being in the studio now that we have it. We're gonna make it better We're excited. Jamie Vernon. Rogan's guy's gonna come help us Do a few things. We're pumped about that

You stay pumped about it too and We'll be back on youtube so don't fucking complain and whine and there's no video You know every week from now on we'll be video. This is just one week. We could not make it fucking happen but You know go steal someone's identity folks

go Go try their life on see how it works Go have some fun or at the very least go find someone who's done that and take them to dinner It'll be fun And that's what we're here to do. Let's just have a little fun Goodbye