The Tim Dillon Show - 188: 188 - Best of Patreon Vol. 1

Episode Date: February 23, 2020

Bonus Episodes every week: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow Live Dates: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows Merch: https://www.bonfire.com/store/the-tim-dillon-show/ Bonus Episode links Bonus #001 - Bill and Hill's Last Kill https://www.patreon.com/posts/29241441 Bonus #006 - Put It On The Ham https://www.patreon.com/posts/30227128 Bonus #007 - Beverly Hill's Cop https://www.patreon.com/posts/30418876 Bonus #026 - Steyer Stan https://www.patreon.com/posts/33958510 Bonus #027 - Live From Toro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show live from Los Angeles, California. Hey guys, it's been Avery, the producer. We have a special treat for you tonight. It's the best of Patreon volume one. So I went through six of my favorite episodes and found excerpts from them. And what we're going to play for you is just sort of the tip of the iceberg when it comes to everything we have behind that paywall on the Patreon. If you want to go find those episodes that I pulled stuff from, I will have links in the description. It's only $5 a month. Patreon.com slash the Tim Dillon show. It's a way to get a bonus RSS feed that me and Tim put stuff out on. We have a lot of great, great, great episodes

on there. Not even to mention we have 145 archives of old episodes of the show with interviews with CIA agents, Russ Baker, Nick Bryant. There's tons of stuff with Tim and Ray. That's absolutely hysterical along with a lot of other comedians on the Patreon bonus episodes. Now we're around 29 bonus episodes so far that feature Giannis Pappas, Chris Testafano, Jesse Reed, and a lot of other comedians. Mostly it's just Tim doing solo or Tim and Ray. So go check out the Patreon, patreon.com slash the Tim Dillon show. So I'm now going to play you six things I pulled from random Patreon episodes that I really liked. This first one is from the first bonus episode titled Bill and Hills Last Kill. This

episode was recorded on August 17th, 2019. This is one of my favorite episodes. Tim also has a great Uber story at the beginning of this, but I'm just going to play the part where he imagines Bill and Hillary celebrating the last kill they ever had. Best case. These people know what's going on. Let's say, let's say Clinton never fucked any of the Epstein girls. Let's say that I don't believe it, but let's just say it. Let's say it. Okay. Let's just have, let's say he never fucked the Epstein girl. Are you telling me he didn't know what was going on? He's a Rhodes Scholar. He's not an idiot. He's not a moron. People say George W. Bush is a moron. He wasn't a moron. He wasn't like the type of intellectual

that had, you know, he wasn't like a brilliant guy, but he wasn't a moron. These people have a savvy, pretty good understanding of the forces around them. It's how they're able to stay alive. It's how they're able to rise through the ranks. They understand the landscape quite well. And if Jeffrey Epstein is out there with a fucking island, he wasn't really keeping quiet about it folks. He had his own island. You don't think there was chatter. What's going on on that island? What's happening over there? You know, the president of the United States knew, the ex-president knew. Okay. They all knew folks. They all knew. And whether Clinton, whether Bill and Hill, Bill and Hill, whether they like, they didn't

order a hit. There's probably not the way that it works. Hillary's not, you know, texting somebody, you know, go and whack this guy. But I'll tell you this, the people that they work for, the people that the Bushes work for, the crime families that really run the country, why do you call them crime? Cause they commit crimes and then they cover up those crimes. That's why I call them crime family. You know, other than the good stuff they do, the stuff that we all know about, the corporate fraud and military militarization of the police force and locking everybody up. That's all the conventional. We know they did that. That's the stuff they're allowed to write about in the New York times. And you know, cause that's all stuff that

we don't, we don't doubt that the private prisons and all that. We all know that's real. But the stuff that you're not allowed to talk about, Kidfuck Island, that type of stuff. We always have some hard time believing that they knew what was going on or that they were participating in it. We're like, well, listen, we know that they take donations from people that lock up in us and chill. We know that. And we know that they bomb aspirin factories in Sudan. And we know that. And we know that they intimidate and threaten women that they've tried to rape who come forward. We know that. We know that. And we know that a lot of the people that they do shady business deals with end up killing themselves by shooting themselves

twice in the head. We know that. But there's no way that they would ever, ever participate in something as gruesome as fucking underage kids. We draw the line there. That they wouldn't do. They wouldn't be involved in that. Yeah, they would. Yeah, they would because it's a great way. It's a great way to control people. That is why intelligence agencies have used that method of sexual blackmail forever. That is why the mafia has used it. That is why people, these operations have gone on throughout history. They're still going on. There's a new Jeffrey Epstein. There's a new island, folks. There's a new island and it's bigger and better than what I bet you. And this is the Great Reconcept. There's the Catholic Church and probably like,

why don't you let us go back to running this shit, please? Let's just get back to it. There's a new island now with fucking water slides, where after you're done with the kids, they go right down the water slide into a furnace. Trust me, the new island's going to be bigger and better. It's going to advertise it. They're going to be like, if you like little St. James, you got to come to Little Bo Peep. Little Bo Peep is the new island. Not Jeffrey Epstein. From by another guy, Josh Goldberg. Josh Goldberg runs a new island, Little Bo Peep. It's not going away. It's not going away unless there's a massive shift in consciousness, which is probably not going to happen because everybody's at Carl's Jr. You know, is what it is. I'm not saying that, you know, I don't want to

sound like I'm like, you know, I'm not, you know, I'm not, it's not like I'm like a perfect human being. I'm not going to Little St. James or whatever it was called. It was called Little St. James. But like, you know, when I shit on the people at Carl's Jr., Carl's Jr. is in all of us. The idea that you just want to go through a drive-thru and get a, you know, I get it. It's there. None of us are immune to that. But that is what it, you know, that is the choice, essentially, stay asleep, stay asleep forever, or wake the fuck up and realize that all of the people or far too many of the people that you think you know are sociopaths who've done things that would keep you awake at night. That's all. That's all you should know. These people that sit down at Good

Morning America, oh, hello, how are you? Oh, it's a little cold today, isn't it? It's a little, it's a little chilly. Oh, the fall, it's so nice, the fall. Those people, you know, have done terrifying, terrifying things. And, you know, a lot of people don't want to believe that because they don't really want to live in that reality. And I don't blame them because I'm certainly no better off for knowing what I know or having the conversations that I've had. But when shit like this happens, man, you gotta fucking, you gotta wake up. How dumb do you want to be? I mean, the people that whack this guy are going, oh, wait a minute, there's people that are saying it's not even, they're saying there's no conspiracy. Like the people that design the system have to be

surprised at how well it works. They have to be like, oh my God, they're not, there's no riots. This is great. I mean, there should be riots. There should be 10,000 people outside of that prayer. There should be, and William Barr, or whatever his name is, I think it's William Barr, who's the attorney general, is like a CIA fucking Iran Contra. Good old boy. And now they're bringing in a Biden, the put the forensic pathologist. He's involved with JFK and OJ. I mean, who's next Kissinger? They're bringing Henry. We're gonna get, we're getting to the truth. We're getting to the bottom of this, folks. We're bringing in the FBI. And we're going to put the whole investigation in the hands of Henry Kissinger, because we want the truth. We want the truth.

I mean, it's really laughable. It's incredibly laughable. The coroner said he's convinced that the Epstein, there's a suicide. Now they're saying there's all these irregularities with the jail. And like, yeah, well, they moved his, they moved a prisoner out of his room two hours earlier. He was off suicide watch. The cameras don't point into the cells. We don't know. There were some irregularities in the prison. And, you know, we don't know what guards were on that night or something weird with the scheduling. And, you know, it'll all be out of the news soon. It'll all be out of the news soon, folks. You'll be back to your regularly scheduled programming. The air will crisp up, fall will be

here. Football will be here. You know, everybody will be back to there, right? And there'll be a little St. James. There'll be a new island bigger and better than ever before. Don't worry about it. Bigger and better. And the kids today are so fucked up, they're probably trying to get on the island. They're emailing. They're trying to get on. They want in. You don't even have to kidnap them and can, you know, they're volunteering. They're like, great. Watch a few Miley Cyrus videos and they're like, this is great. Look at them. They'll paddle to the island. Let me get a few bucks. I'll put Alan Dershowitz's scrotum on my face. That guy, huh? Man. What was it? Do you ever imagine? Do you ever imagine what it was like when Bill and Hillary found out when they were sitting down?

Like, you ever imagine that? I was tweeting about it and it was really funny. But like, do you ever really imagine like what when they found out? Let's assume they found out on the news and let's assume that just assume they found out on the news. You know, I'm not convinced, but let's assume they found out on the news, you know, they are plugged in. There is a way they did. You get some info, but let's assume they found out on the news. I mean, what is their reaction like looking at each other? What is there? Because they're done. Here's the thing. They're done politically, the Clintons, and they know it. They're done politically. People make a lot of them. They're not their nefarious characters, but they're not running the show. People don't realize that. It's

fun to pretend they are. They're just not. The system that they're part of will outlive them, will outlive the bushes. It's designed to endure. It's going to be around, you know? It should still goes on, you know? But I just imagine, you know, Bill and Hillary, do you almost like them more? I like them more that they're murderers. Is that my problem? I like them more because I could never picture them fucking, but I picture them murdering, and I'm like, that's what their love is based on. And that to me is a stronger and a better love. It's almost more pure. The need to dominate, power at all costs, covering your tracks. Now they're like protecting your legacy, protecting their daughters' ambitions, her political ambition,

you know? Can't have daddy go down in a human trafficking scandal. Chelsea's going to run. You know Chelsea's going to run for some. It's a matter of time. We love dynastic politics in this country. So that's what they're doing now. But I almost like them a little bit. But trying hard not to like them. I thought of them like just cooking pancakes, no Epstein's dad, and you know, they're up in their estate in New York, and they're just cooking pancakes and, you know, they got some music on, maybe like Aretha Franklin or something. And they're just kind of grooving around like, you know, Bill's reading The Times and he's got a cup of coffee and they just have two stacks of pancakes. You know, nothing smells better than

fresh pancakes with some maple syrup and butter and, you know, and Bill's like, you know, we never eat like this. We don't do this enough. And Hillary's like, we don't, you know? And they're just sitting there and eating those pancakes and there's a faint aftertaste of blood, you know? Never do that. Never cut your mouth on a sharp food or something. And you just feel that little taste of blood, just a little blood in your mouth. I feel like Bill and Hillary always have a little blood taste in their mouth. They like it, you know? They're just eating the pancakes and, you know, it's just they date so close, but they just, they dodged another fucking bullet. And it's probably the last one they have to dodge. They're getting

fucking old. It's probably their last high five moment. And it's hard to not kind of, it's hard to not respect them a little bit and be like, you did it. You made it till the end, you know? Now, of course, it goes without saying, demons from hell. It goes without saying. But, you know, there's something about that they did it, you know? Get Fleetwood Mack, don't stop thinking about Tomorrow Up. This was the song that Bill and Hillary, when they won in 1992, or was at the convention, like Fleetwood Mack played it. And put this on, yeah, it's great. I just feel like, you know, they're up at Chappaqua and they're just starting to groove. And Bill goes, you know, it's been a long time since

we cut a rug like this. And they just start dancing. And in the background, there's the television is talking about how Epstein hung himself in the cell and, and they're just jumping around. And all these dumb cons on Twitter with the blue checks already like, yeah, it's quaint. And these conspiracy Nazis, they're just fucking trying to connect all these things. And Hillary and Bill are dancing because guess what? They never stopped thinking about Tomorrow. They never did. And it'll be here better than before because they believe, they believe, they believe what that fucking screenwriter didn't. It's the little fucking things. You're gonna do what you don't want to do. You dumb fuck. Okay. And you end up respecting them. Yes, they fuck kids

and eat them and murder them and put them in a food processor and make a meatloaf out of them. Who gives a shit? You know what they don't do? They don't drive a fucking Uber. So guess what? I would vote for them over and over again now because they've proved it. They've proved they could make it happen in the fucking Titus security jail staff. Oh fuck you. They did it. Bill and Hillary Clinton, they came out of the swamps, those white trash, ranch dressing, eating Arkansas pigs. And they did it the old fashioned way, rape and murder. You know? And it brings a tear to your eye. It really does. Now, I know, I know it's, they're bad. I get it. I get it. I'm not, I'm not an idiot. But when I think about them dancing in their

estate celebrating their latest kill, God, I shed a tear because they were my fucking childhood. My boomer parents love them. My piece of shit worthless family love them. They were our future. And there's something about my childhood that it dies with them. And you know what? There's something beautiful about that. There's something truly remarkable about the way they did it, folks. They won. And there's something to be said for winning. And Hillary just sips that blood smoothie, pours hot sauce on an aborted fetus and starts chewing a foot. And you know what? I know that it's not right. It's stand by me up. And I just picture after the days, you know, they've had a long day. They were on the phone

with a lot of people, you know, and talking to their friends and everything. And they're just, they're just, they're just looking at each other. And there's a light breeze. There's a light summer breeze. And they realize that they have a sadness. It's a bittersweet feeling because this, they look at each other and they don't vocalize it. But they know that there's a great possibility that this was their last kill. And they realize this was probably the last time they arranged a man to have his life ended, to protect Bill. And God only knows what she's into. And they realize it. They realize this is the last operation we've done. We've done a lot. We've done Vince Foster. We did a lot of people. There's too many to name. I mean,

there's so many Pete. I mean, dogs have killed themselves that these fuckers have met. And there's just something so nice about, I can't, I can't not think there's something beautiful about a couple that truly, truly loves each other in the real sense. Not the bullshit sense. You go on a cruise together. Oh, you raise kids together. No, not at that. I mean, you have enemies and you get rid of them one by one, you know. And I just think of them in their Chapaquan mansion. And maybe, maybe they're drinking red wine. They love red. They don't like white. They love red. And they're just kind of swaying, swaying, watching the coverage rolling, you know.

You know, maybe George W. Bush texts them a couple of emojis. He knows. He knows. Prince Andrew texts them. They text Prince Andrew back LOL. Oh, they're happy. They're demons, but guess what? There are demons. And they'll disappear. The cleanses will disappear with the Monterey ranch chicken sandwich of the 1990s. One of the greatest things that's ever been bacon in the ranch dressing. Oh, fuck you. They'll disappear with the great economy of the 90s, the pre-911. Just a, just a careless, carefree boomer attitude. They'll just disappear. And they'll fade away. But before they did, they had one last kill. This next segment is from bonus episode six, put it on the ham, where Tim tells a really funny story

about growing up. And to lead into that story, it's going to start with Tim talking about the passing of the late, great Carl Ruiz. We all have those moments where you look around and you go, I got to get out of here, whatever here is. You know, you might be at a party. You might be in a bar. You might be in a relationship. You might be at a job. You just look around and you go, I got to get the fuck out of here. And I got to try to figure out how I got here. How did I get here? And where, and how do I get somewhere else? And Carl was a fucking character, man. He was very funny. He was funny. He was the most comedians. He was passionate about food. Love would review

like the Popeye's chicken sandwich. He'd review fast food. He'd review everything. He loved working class people genuinely, genuinely. He didn't pretend to. He loved the food that they ate. He loved the places they hung out. He loved the bars that they went to. He spent a lot of time in those places. He would go and get, you know, chip beef sandwich upstate. He'd go fucking all over the place and he genuinely loved those types of people. There's a lot of people in my business that pretend to like those people on the left and the right. Yeah. Whether you're lean to the left or lean to the right. In entertainment, there's a lot of people pretend to like working class people, which I never have, by the way.

Thank you. Isn't that nice? I've never really pretended. Yeah. I've claimed to only be interested in the super rich and I've been pretty consistent about that. You know, you got integrity. I mean, I've been pretty, you know, it's like, you're going to see me outside of a factory and like, don't close it. Like what? No, listen, I like working with those people. I love characters and I want everyone to have health insurance and stuff like that. But I mean, the people that interest me are rich people. I've been very honest about that because I think they're doing a lot of fucked up wild shit. So those are the people that I am not to say that like, you know, I'm working class, all my friends are working class, everyone I grew up with, I know is working class.

So it's not like those are the funner people, those are the people who want to perform comedy for, you know, but Carl literally loved those people. Man, Carl really cared about people. He cared about the guys that were line cooks. He cared about the guys that he stood next to in the kitchen. He gave a shit about all of those people. And it's just so funny because he didn't advertise it in the way that people do in this business. When they're like, I love the working class. Like he never said that he just loved the working class. Taking selfies with janitors. Yeah, he just cared about people and he cared and he went to the places they hung out and he loved, you know, the food and he understood it and he was like, fuck in. He understood people's relationship with food

and that some of it was destructive. Some of it was, you know, he got, I think, to be fully good. I mean, I, since I was a kid, I've loved restaurants, food and the whole culture of it. And a lot of it mirrors the culture of drugs or excess or, you know, anything. And there's rituals, there's, you know, all that stuff involved in eating and in taking drugs and using drugs and drinking and sex or whatever it is. And Carl kind of understood maybe better than so many other people. The role that food played, especially in the lives of people who didn't have a lot. And this was a fun thing for them to do, that food and drink was actually a fun thing to do. It was kind of this escape. It was a release. It was a place where even if they

didn't have a lot of money, they could save some money to go to a nice restaurant and it's an indulgence and they enjoyed it. They could afford that. They could never afford a Maserati. They could never afford a house in the hills of LA. They could never afford a mansion, you know, wherever and wherever, but they were able to go out and eat something good. And I, I was always a guy who the only things I ever did with money was go out and eat. So Carl got that. He, I think he understood that food was important to people, especially working class people, people that didn't have enough, you know, and he, you know, he had this whole thing Reweezing. It was hashtag Reweezing, which is R U I Z. I mean, I think a few days before he died

or a week before he died, he was like on the Long Island railroad heading out to Long Island and he tweeted, will somebody meet me with a pack of cigarettes and some white claw or something at the train station? And immediately it happened, you know, like a guy was waiting for him as soon as he got off the train. But that's what Carl would do. There were no strangers in, you know, and I'll talk about this a little bit on the regular episode, not as long, but like that guy didn't, there weren't, they were, they were frank. Like it sounds cliche and stupid. Like, oh, there are people that are that guy, there was no strangers that were just friends he had met yet, but that guy made friends with people, you know, he just wanted to hang out, he wanted to drink,

he wanted to eat, and he wanted to laugh. That's all he wanted to do. He didn't want to hurt anybody. He didn't want to be powerful. He didn't want to, he didn't want to abuse people. He didn't want to lord power over everybody. He genuinely was passionate about cooking, about laughing. And, you know, that's a fucking great example of somebody who lives, who really lives who they are. Like, you know, but it sucks because I would have rathered him be around for a lot longer, you know, which is why I think you do have to moderate that, dude, you can't go as hard all the time as you want to go. There's, you know, and I'm not, you know, he's a very successful guy. He's a very talented guy, you know, and he could have,

you know, it's very sad that he wasn't around for as long as he could have been, you know, and I don't know the circumstances of his death, but I just do know that, you know, he was rew easing, you know, he went out, he drank, he ate, he laughed, he had fun with people, you know. And that's a shitty thing, you know, but I mean, that's all I can do is basically say to myself, like, I want to be around for a while, you know, and whatever that means, but I still want to have fun and I still want to be the type of guy that he was. I think you have to work harder at being fun. Like, if you, if you say to yourself, I'm going to get rid of the booze, I'm going to get rid of the, I'm not going to be the guy that just eats ridiculous

shit. But I'm, I still want to be fun. Like I still want people to like me. I still want to be funny and I still want to like be the life of the party to an extent, like that might be a little harder, but I think it's, you got to do it. Like I still want to have a personality, you know, but I don't want it to kill me. And so many dudes out there just kills them. We know guys and not mentioning their names, we know guys, you look at them, you go, you're being killed. Yeah. You know, like who you are is killing you, you know, and, and you just fall into that trap dude of like not seeing a way out and not going, well, I've only been this, how am I going to be something else? You know? Yeah. I mean, it's like, it's tricky.

You know, I mean, that being said, put great a Thunberg in jail, put her in jail, throw away the key. What did Trump say about it? He was happy girl, happy girl, excited for a bright future. Yep. I mean, this is who you're putting in the K, like this is who you're putting in the Roman Coliseum with Trump, the 16 year old Swedish girl. This is how deeply immoral our society is. The master troll, psychopath, Donald Trump, who has absolutely no feelings, would feed his own kids to a fucking tiger if he needed to. Yep. And we're putting in the Roman Coliseum with him. We're putting a 16 year old Swedish girl, autistic Swedish girl. And that's, that's what we're going to do. Seems like not the move. You know, seems a little ridiculous. But yeah, I'm bummed then,

I was going to fly bad. I don't know if they're doing a memorial form or something, but I was going to get, I've got to be an LA unfortunately. This thing about, but you know, I mean, this is what happens is any good friend of yours, I mean, I mean, you call it wasn't like an insanely good friend, but I really did like him. What about any good friend of yours ever die? No, not yet. No. What about you, Ben? Yeah. I wish that for you, both of you. You know, it will be me probably. You know, the only some, the only somewhat, the only somewhat successful person either one of you have ever really met. Everybody else is just a complete loser. You can just go back to sitting

on the porch, getting mad at people with 300 Twitter followers. It's ridiculous. But it is a fucking, it is a wake up call, man. It's a wake up call. It should be a wake up call where you're just like, but he really did understand that. And that's what food is, dude. Food is a fucking drug. I mean, you're sitting in a fast food place. You open up this hot, warm, salty, fatty sugar, you know, and you, you open it up and you just go, this is, this is something nice. I've worked a hellish job. It sucked. And I'm just going to have this one thing that tastes good. I just want to have this one fucking thing right now that tastes good. So I could feel full and then I can go to bed. And I don't have to think about, you know,

I just want to really... It's such a small amount of time too, like that we, we give for, like food, it's just a nice taste for three, four minutes. And you know what I mean? Like, it's like not that long of a, of a thing to indulge in, but we just, it's, we love it. For a lot of people, man, it's the only indulgence. You know, they're not on their boat. They're not on the boat going, this is nice. They get a few minutes a day at lunch. Now when they get out of work, you know? I almost never look at food as like fuel. I just want it. I just want something fun, you know? Yeah. I mean, that's, that's, that's a lot of us, man. Especially when I stopped drinking, I started getting really into like

dessert. I never cared about dessert. I always wanted to leave the restaurant and go to a bar. I didn't care. Then you stopped drinking. You're like, oh, I'll have all the desserts because I just want to eat, you know, eat sugar now, you know? You got to train yourself, man. And it's fucking sucks, you know? Especially when you were raised with the attitudes towards food I was raised with, which was raised by two people that exemplified the group of people, the boomers, who everything was convenience and what was easy. And if it was easy to just get a pizza from Pizza Hut or get fast food on the way back, like, and listen, you know, in defense of them, they had jobs, they had, you know, it is what it is. They fucking, you know,

but, you know, when you're raised, dude, I was raised, I mean, these are the rest, like these are the places that I ate growing up. Okay. And I can remember them. I can remember all of them that I would eat, like I would consider so much frequently McDonald's McDonald's is one of my earliest memories for a lot of people, dude, for a lot of people. One of your earliest memories is that you're eating McDonald's and it's good and you like it and then you ask your parents to go back and they got the play place and they're all the characters are fun and you're in McDonald's. McDonald's when I was a kid. Boston Market when I was a kid. I love Boston Market. Kentucky Fried Chicken when I was a kid. At Boston Market one day,

I used to come in after a dance class and I had this like, and I was like squeezed in this leotard and I was like just like newly fat body squeezed and like this purple and black leotard that made me look try to look like a hip hop DJ. And I was standing there and I used to sneak it. You would get two sides when you got your chicken or ham. I used to get ham. And I would sneak a third side on, which was cinnamon apples. But the way I snuck it on is I'd say put it on the ham. And then the woman would put it on the ham. Move it off. I'd say put it on the ham and then I would get the beans and the mac and cheese. But I say, Hey, put the apples on the ham. This is the way you would get a third side in Boston Market. So I remember

standing there and I was with my, you know, just dressed like a hip hop DJ with my midriff, my little gut sticking out of my midriff. And there was a new woman there and she like barely spoke English. And I said, I want the cinnamon apples, but put it on the ham. And she didn't. She put it in one of the things. And I just, I just, I'd had a very grueling day at dance where I'd fallen a bunch of times. So I was like almost bursting into tears and I just started screaming, put it on the ham. What the fuck is wrong with you? Put it on the ham. And the two African guys in back of her that were carving the chicken started chanting, put it on the ham, put it on the ham. And I was like screaming and crying. And then this lady started crying and

she didn't know what was happening. And then the woman who was a manager, always like a middle aged white woman with glasses, she came over and I explained to her and she goes, well, usually we would charge extra for that, but you know, we'll do it. We'll just put some cinnamon apples on the ham. It's not a big deal. And I was like, thank you. But now, no matter what I do, like whether it's a Netflix special, I always stand before I go on stage, whether it's Comedy Central, whether it's, you know, rogue, it's something important. I just, I always say, put it on the ham, bitch. Before I do, I'm kidding. I know. But this next excerpt is from bonus episode seven, Beverly Hills comp, where me and Tim, we're just driving around in my Toyota

up through the hills of Beverly Hills, making our way to North Beverly Park. And Tim is just talking about dark money and Epstein. And he's sort of getting back into the role of being a tour guide, which I really love. This is a really long episode. This is a 20 minute part from it. I found super fascinating. This is really, really wealthy. A lot of these houses, they start around five million and then they climb pretty quickly into the 20s and 30s, you know, and then even, you know, there are states at Beverly Hills that are 75 million, 80 million, 100 million. And I think there's a house with a market in LA. And I think it's Beverly Hills for 175 million. And, you know, the person who owns that is a guidance counselor. And she just believed in

her kids. And that's how she made that kind of money. You know, no, no, people ask about this kind of money. They're like, where does this kind of money come from? Does it come from lawyers and doctors and the professional class account and stuff like that? Not really. This isn't really even CEOs of companies unless they're large, major multinationals. The reality here is the majority of people that are not in the entertainment business aren't finance or they're in tech or they're in the extraction of natural resources. They work in an energy company or they work in some, you know, I mean, most of the war money is in and around Maryland and Virginia and DC, which is why the, you know, the top 10 wealthiest

counties, I think eight of them are right there. But some of those fuckers live out here too. Don't kid yourself. Some of these fuckers live right out here. But that's what people are doing to make that kind of money. There's not too many lawyers up here with 30 or $40 million houses, unless they're in the top, you know, 0.001% of all lawyers, you know? So the professional class of people that kind of most people are familiar with don't live up here. A lot of this is foreign money, it's inherited money, it's descendants of royalty, tech on a very high level, CEOs of companies that are major corporations, major multinationals, or you have people that have private companies that you've never heard of that make oodles of money. Also, you might potentially

have obviously actors, actresses, sports people, and this is an interesting one, Ben. The black house. Nothing satanic going on there. They answer the door every day. They're like, I'll Satan saw hello. We just passed a solid black house in Beverly Hills. Nothing good's happening in that basement, folks. Tell you that much. And as you walk here, obviously you see there are people polishing cars. And some of these houses are actually not impressive right here. These are some not impressive. You know, some of them are nice, but we're heading up into an area that's completely gated where we will be asked to leave and turn around because these people do not want people like me. We are driving right now in Ben's, what is this? It's an Avalon. It looks like an Uber.

That's a nice Avalon. It's relatively new. How old is it? 2008. It's not new at all. I'm disgusted. I'm in this car now that I found that out. And I'm sitting in the front seat with a microphone and we're heading up and the houses starting to get a little bigger. They were bigger on the, as you go up the hill, the houses get a little smaller. They're bigger down by the base and then they're big once you get to the top of the hill. But as you go up the hill, the houses are not nearly as impressive. I imagine these people are like the middle class. They make five to 10 million a year, you know, which is the middle class. I don't think they make much less than five a year. Maybe they do. Maybe some of these people do make less than $5 million a year. But once you

get up into the go fuck your mother money section, these are people who are making, you know, I remember I told people that, you know, David Tepper, who was a hedge fund manager, he bought all the stocks, financials. He bought all of those up with his hedge fund when they cratered in 2007. He sold them or in 2008, whatever he sold them in 2013, his hedge fund made $7.5 billion. His personal income that year was $3.5 billion. There are hedge fund guys that make $800 million a year, $300 million a year. You know what I mean? And I think that's what people don't realize. You feel in your ears when you're going up the hill, don't you, Ben? So, I mean, the amount of money that is made, I think is unfathomable. Chris Rock said once he goes, if people knew how

rich people were, they'd be a riot, which is true. Like the amount of money when you get up here is crazy. And then you'd have to look up these people. You'd have to Google these people and go, how did they make this kind of fucking money? And I got on this kick when I was a tour guide in New York City and I would show people a building. I would look at the average price of the building. I mean, the average price of the apartment in the building and it would be like $20 million. I'd be like, well, what the fuck do these people do? Who are they? And then you'd learn really crazy shit. Like there was this woman, Louise Crane, that lived in one of these buildings. I think it was 834, 825th Avenue she lived. She, her family sold the paper to the mint

that our money was printed on, that our currency was printed on. This bitch owned money. So, now we are here at the top of the hill. We're at Beverly Park, the gatehouses. Let's do south. These are the gatehouses to get up in a Beverly Park. This is the most expensive section of the country, other than of course, Sagaponica and the Hamptons. Perhaps you've heard of it, New York. Shout out to New York and people that also hate me there. People that want nothing to do. But I have that hometown pride, even though those people would kill me. So, now we're going to have to turn around Benjamin. We go right to the gatehouse, Benjamin. See the gates? We're right up here at the gatehouse. Look at the view, Benjamin. Look at all the houses.

Ben grew up in Texas in a bag of Fritos and it's very nice from to see this. It's very inspiring for him because he grew up in a house where they just ate bloody meat and they were like, Jesus saves. If Jesus can't, you're dirking off. He's going to kill you. And Ben was like, I'm sorry, mother. He was British. I'm sorry, mother. You see some of the houses, Ben? You see them. That is the Beverly Park over there. That's North Beverly Park. Let's go up to the gatehouse up here, right at the end of San Ysidro. And the reality is the idea that I'm not welcomed into these communities is frankly disgusting. It's frankly disgusting because I've done nothing but entertain for free. So Rolls Royce Phantom, Bentley's. Now it's getting banana.

Now it's getting bananas. It's getting stupid now. Stupid. This is stupid money. So now we're getting into some houses there to like, fuck you. Benjamin, you got to go back down that street because that was to the gatehouse. We got to go to the gatehouse. We got to go to the gate. Make them tell us no, Benjamin. Don't be poor. Be a rich bitch. Sing the Deant word song, rich bitch. I'm a rich bitch. But that's the thing about this type of money. It's actually fascinating to start looking up. And we're going to do more that shit on the Patreon where we'll actually talk about some of these people because it is kind of fascinating and interesting how much money and how much power certain people have,

which why I think a guy like Sanders would be good to shake the tree a little. I don't know how much shaking the tree would matter. I think if Bernie shook the tree, it might land on him. A lot of people shake the tree. So now it's not a through street, but that's okay. Violators will be prosecuted trespassing. Doesn't matter, Benjamin. Keep going. Have balls. Now we are in the most exclusive area in the country right now, folks. North Beverly Park. Keep going, Ben. Don't be a bitch. Here's the gate. The gate stops us. I thought we were going to get in, Ben. Now just make the Yui. I thought we were going to get in. Gated community. But look at the house right behind the gate here.

I mean, Disney World. You see it up in the tree. You can barely say it. You can't say it. Yeah. It's wild, dude. I mean, it's wild. They do not let you in here and that's okay, but you can see them over there, the houses, the homes. These are massive estates, folks. These are massive. And you know, I've been kept out of these communities. I've been denied. I've been literally shit on my whole life. People just open, they open my mouth and they shit directly into my mouth. And I have to swallow that shit for many, many years. And all I've tried to do is go into wealthy areas. Now, what I will do, and Ben will tell you this, I will walk around in wealthy areas without gates. I get a cup of coffee and I'll wear like

sweatpants to look like I just woke up and I'll just walk around these areas like Hancock Park that are rich that don't have gates. I guarantee there are areas that will have gates in California three years because of me. The residents will get together and go get that fat fuck out of here. We're putting up a game. Guaranteed, folks. Guaranteed. It's a beautiful fall day here. If I could do it all over again, I'd just be rich as fuck and I'd kill people. I wish I was fucking just crazy rich. But instead, I'm a creative genius. Fuck. Now we're in a cul-de-sac and it's a dead end. There are several Mexicans and they're all looking at me and Ben because they know that we're not the type of white that belongs here.

A lot of construction going on here. And listen, these areas are overbuilt. New York City is overbuilt. There's too much high-end shit on the market. There's not enough foreign money to pump into these markets. You will see values decline to a degree in these areas because especially once we head into the recession, but you've already seen wealthy people are starting to hoard cash because they know what's coming. They know before us what's going to happen because they make it happen to a degree. So they're already starting to hoard money and not buy these homes. But you've got to remember, one of the reasons that New York City real estate market did not

suffer during the financial crisis is that domestic money was replaced by foreign money. And foreign people came over to America and they wanted to move their money out of Russia and China and the United Arab Emirates and Brazil and India. And they wanted to buy homes in New York and London and also Los Angeles to a lesser degree. And London is a great financial capital that's halfway between New York and Asia. So London is number one. London is number one with foreign money. 60% to 70% of all new construction in London was at one time. And I'm sure it still hovers around that percentage now going to people that do not live in Britain. They are not, you know, they might have citizenship, but the majority is a lot of them are foreign

nationals without citizenship and it's not their primary residence and they're buying up, snatching up lots of real estate there. New York is second. There's a lot of people buying in New York. You get great return on your investment in a city like New York and London. You could let it sit vacant and it'll just appreciate it value. If you buy an apartment, you could also rent it out and you get a lot of money. And none of these people are buying it under their own name. They're buying it under the name of a Shell Corp, which is a corporation that is set up really primarily to invest in real estate. Also private companies, but a lot of times it's real estate. And why do people use a Shell Corp so that they are not on the hook for taxes, that they can

launder money in these cities through real estate and the extent to which real estate is used for money laundering is pretty well known, but it's only intensified over the last decade. Slow down a little bit now, but you want to talk about, you know, how crazy it was going, you know, right after the financial crisis, people came over here and just started buying, buying, buying. And that's where you get into like things like the Panama papers and the person that released the Panama papers is now dead. I forget how, probably a bad cold. And the Panama papers were an explanation of this other financial system that wealthy people had set up for themselves where they put their money offshore. And, you know, the New York Times to their credit actually

ran a great article that was pretty complicated that very few people read that was about how people, especially wealthy people, route their money through companies that don't exist so that they can pay corporate tax rates. And these companies don't exist and they have, you know, they have addresses, but there's, there's no employees and there's no offices and there's no, they, they just exist simply to kind of clear money. They're like a clearinghouse of money. I'll post some of these articles on the Patreon because I would imagine some of the people that are listening to this are a little smarter than the regular people. We got, we're over 100,000 downloads on the episode now. So there's a lot of different kinds of people listening to the show that are into all

kinds of different shit. You people are probably a little bit smarter. Now not all of you, not all of you. I will, let's rein that in. Let's roll that back. There's many people here that are not, but there are a few people that want to read some of these articles. So we will post them. It's a great article. It's a dense article. It's a long article, but you start to look at what, what a separate financial system looks like because it's really completely separate for people at a certain net worth. And I think at a certain net worth, you just start to spend time with people that just kind of piss in your ear. I'm not even talking about people that are making $5 million a year. I'm talking about serious money, intergenerational wealth, where, where

this is just the way things are done. And, and there's all kinds of people that make money showing you how to shield yourself from taxes and accountability. And, and, and guys like, I forget his name. I think it's Anit Agarwal. Agarwal's his last name. I forget his first name, who bought an apartment at the Time Warner Center. This is a very controversial mining magnet who like poisoned a river in Zambia. And he, so what you have, you see two girls there, it's sitting in front of a pink house with pink hair. Is that Doja Cat? We're hunting for Doja Cat. We want to find the cat. What do you think she is in Jollibee? But what, what, the whole thing is I want to flesh out some of this stuff because this is,

by the way, this is the key to Epstein. This is the key to Epstein. And I want you to start thinking about this in a more broader context than just pedophiles and satanism and human sacrifice, which by the way, all probably happening. Why did you stay there, Benjamin? Ben stayed. Oh, that's where Rich Eisen used to live. Ben is one of the slaves for the Eisen family and was for many years. Good for him. This is what I want you to think about Epstein in a more broad context of human trafficking, obviously, pedophile, blackmail, obviously. But what Epstein did, I think, and from people that are, that from Whitney Webb, who I've spoke to has done a lot of great work on it. And from a lot of people that I've spoke to,

both on and off the record, they believe Jeffrey's main, other than the blackmail and all of that stuff, they believe one of his main functions was washing dirty money, laundering money. Okay. It wasn't only the type of money that would be earned from human trafficking, but you're looking at narco terrorism, drugs, you're looking at God only knows the kind of corporate malfeasance. He was tasked with making go away or cleaning up in the financial system, finding places to put the money, finding places for the money to go. You got to remember Lex Wester, Lex Wexner, who was Jeffrey Epstein's mentor and good friend and gave him his mansion in New York City and gave him, Lex Wexner was questioned. His attorney or accountant,

I think his accountant, was going to testify about offshoring profits. He was going to testify about offshoring money. And he was shot in the face before he's able to do that. He was killed in broad daylight in a mafia style hit. So this issue cuts right to the core of what we're talking about. So it's like, we're driving around Beverly Hills and you're like, well, how does that connect to everything? Well, it connects to everything actually, it is everything. It actually is the core of everything because there isn't only one illicit stream of money. There are many illicit streams of money that are not accounted for, that are not taxed. The CIA uses illicit money, black budget all the time, because they do things that

they don't want to. Sorry, Brian Callan. They do things that they don't want the Senate Intelligence Committee to know about. That's why they bug the Senate Intelligence Committee. That's why they've admitted to spying on the Senate Intelligence Committee, because they don't want the Senate Intelligence Committee to know what they're doing. So they want to know what the Senate Intelligence Committee knows because they do underground activities, the CIA. So when you talk about the illicit streams of money, the guys like Jeffrey Epstein direct and manage and you look at the amount of people, not all of them pedophiles, some of them just regular crooks, they're regular old crooks. And so then it gets very messy, right? So now you're talking about Epstein, right? So let's,

we talk about like, well, what happens if Jeffrey goes in and sings? Is it just people that have been to his island that go down? Or does he hold the key to a lot of nefarious activities and a lot of bold face names and a lot of powerful people that are beyond the scope of even that island? You know what I mean? And I think the reason that you can't let Jeffrey sing, obviously, you can't let him talk about politicians diddling children on an island. That is no good. That is a problem. But the other reason is because I don't think the press can truly get a whiff of how insanely corrupt the financial system is, how many people are benefiting from it. And the role of guys like Jeffrey Epstein are kind of these cowboys that are somewhat rootless. He blows around the

globe. He's friends with everybody. He's friends with Mohammed bin Salman in Saudi Arabia. He's friends with political leaders in the United States. And yes, a lot of it is probably pedophilia and stuff like that. But you're going to realize nobody's a pedophile that's also nobody's a pedophile, but doesn't cheat on their taxes is what I mean. Like if you're doing that, you're probably open to drugs and cheating in any way that you can, you know, and illegal arms dealing. That's why he's friends with Kagashi and you know, Kagashi, this huge arms dealer, Epstein was good friends with two. So there's this whole underground economy where you have illicit streams of money. You have capital that needs to find a home and you have guys like Jeffrey Epstein.

So as much as it is about this island and it is about the appetites of the wealthy enough, these people are getting out of control because now we're back down in the area where you have, you know, some of the poor here. And you know what I mean? Poor meaning BMW is like three in five series. No good. Very aggressive. They're striving. They're climbers and trying to get to the top of the hill and they're in a rush. People at the top of the hill aren't even a rush. They're not even home. They don't even exist. Go to a rich area. You never see the people because they maintain multiple properties. They're somewhere else. Here's a couple of just nice autistic brothers walking around

counting blades of grass. God love them. Jumping to bonus episode 26, Steyrstan. In this segment, Tim talks about the health care industry and what we'd have to do to actually get people to be healthy in this country. This is my, I'm literally, this is me now. I'm going to run. I'm going to run, Ben. And I want you to ask me questions that you hear people asking. I'm going to give you my real answers. I'm on the stage. I'm, I'm running. Tim Dillon is now running for the presidency of America. I want you to ask me real questions. Okay. Tim Dillon, what is your proposal for our immigration policy that we have right now in America? Here's a reality of the situation, folks. There's a lot of boomers that are retiring.

Somebody's going to need to wipe their ass. We're going to shove them into assisted living facilities, hopefully immediately, hopefully by force. We're going to need people to go in there, drug these boomers up. They're going to be drooling and shitting all over the place. And we're going to need somebody to do it. I don't really want to do it. Many of my lazy friends are probably not going to do it either. So we need some immigrants to just chain my parents and your parents to their beds so that they can piss and shit themselves until they die. Now that being said, we can't let everybody in because that would break the economy. So what we're going to have to do is we're going to bring immigrants in that have the skill set

to chain my Aunt Kathleen to a chair and an assisted living facility and beat her. We're going to give them all Facebook. We're going to give them all Facebook and let them scream into the void. So we need some immigrants. But we can't have everybody. Next question. What is your plan with health care in America? It's a real ongoing issue. A lot of people aren't covered. They're in medical debt. How do you seek to rectify this whole situation? Here's what we're going to do with health care. Here's what we're going to do with health care. We're going to... Here's what you really have to do, by the way. This is what people don't want to hear. You're going to have to outlaw Denny's and IHOP and Carl's Jr. You're going to have to put

the military around Carl's Jr. I'm actually dead serious now. You're going to have to put people with guns outside of Popeyes and Carl's Jr. You're going to have to outlaw like buffets. You're going to have to outlaw breakfast cereals that literally deliver more sugar to the brain of a child than they should have in their entire existence in a sitting. We could give you free health care folks and you should get it. Health care should be a right. But I mean, if we don't... We're going to have to just go in there and we're going to have to tell people that they have to stop with the food and the booze. I mean, I don't know that anybody wants to hear this. You're going to have to get like a card where you get to go out to eat.

You get to go out to eat. We're going to have to run the country like Weight Watchers except it's going to have to be enforced by the prison system. If you go over your points, we're going to have to put you in jail. If you go over your points of Weight Watchers, we're going to have to have a stasi like police force drag you out of your house and throw you in prison. Because all the health care in the world is not going to work when Denny's is slinging salted caramel banana cream French toast to 400 pound people in San Antonio. It's just not going to work. Literally every theme restaurant in the country is trying to kill everyone that lives here. Literally every single... I mean, the menu... Get the menu. Get up the menu at Denny's.

Just get up the menu at Denny's. This is the real... Nobody will do this, by the way, on stage. Nobody will go, let's take a look. I want that candidate who goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, great. Yeah, health care. That's all bad. But let's look at the menu at America's Diner. Quote their words, America's Diner. Let's see what we have. You want to see featured items first? Let's go to Fluffy Pancakes, how we start our day. This is how America starts our day. This is how we start the day. Please read us some of the offerings, Benjamin. Classic Trace Leche's Pancake Breakfast. The Trace Leche's Pancakes. Cinnamon Roll Pancake Breakfast. Salted Caramel and Banana Cream Pancake Breakfast.

That doesn't even sound good, by the way. Go to Salted Caramel Banana Cream Pancake Breakfast. Let's view the item now. Buttermilk pancakes. Now, read this. By the way, in Europe, like this would be illegal and people would be sent to jail if they would fire a bomber restaurant to try to serve this. By the way, it's almost hilarious discussing health care and leaving out all of this, right? Let's read the description of the item. Buttermilk pancakes cooked with shortbread pieces and topped with vanilla cream, banana, and even more shortbread pieces. By the way, that is literally their quote. Serve with a pitcher of warm, serve with a pitcher.

Serve with a pitcher of warm salted caramel for drizzling. Serve with two eggs, two eggs, two eggs, hash browns, plus two bacon strips, or two sausage links. And I bet you could turn that ore into an end. Nutritional facts. How many calories, Benjamin? 1,430 calories. Okay. Let's look at something else. Let's look at something else. Let's go to the double berry banana pancake breakfast, because this looks good as fuck. Buttermilk pancakes cooked with blueberries, topped with fresh seasonal berries, bananas, and whipped cream. Serve with two eggs, hash browns, two bacon strips. Okay, this is their healthy meal. It's only 1,000 calories.

How much does the cinnamon roll breakfast clocking in at? 1810. 1810. Let's see what 1,810 calories are. Buttermilk pancakes cooked with cinnamon, crumb, topping, and topped with whipped cream. Serve with a pitcher of warm cream cheese. Serve with a pitcher of warm cream cheese icing for drizzling, plus two eggs, hash browns. Guys, what healthcare, let's be honest, what healthcare program is going to compete with America's diner? 1800 cinnamon roll pancake. Everybody in this country should be forced to smoke cigarettes in a health initiative right now. There should be a health initiative called light up. If it even saves your appetite off for a minute.

Now go to the Grand Slamwich, Benjamin. Find the pièce de résistance, the Grand Slamwich. The Grand Slamwich. By the way, this is a bigger threat to our country than terrorism has ever been. Has ever been. Let's find the Grand Slamwich. The Grand Slamwich is my favorite. So it might not be in Super Sandwiches. It's not there. Oh, it's not in Super Sandwiches? No. Maybe featured items. Classic breakfast faves. Go to classic breakfast faves. Right there. Yeah, I think we're gonna, I think we're getting to the, yep. Now go to the Grand Slamwich. What do we got here? 1150 calories. Listen to this folks. Listen to this. By the way, it looks like someone vomited on bread. Scrambled eggs. This is my favorite.

Scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, ham, American cheese on potato bread. Grilled with a maple spice spread. Served with hash browns. So here's the thing with healthcare. I mean, folks, well, what are we doing? Like Denny's IHOP. Go to Carl's Jr. Google Carl's Jr. You want to talk about healthcare? Like it's one thing. It's an immoral healthcare system. But I mean, I hate to say it, but we're going to need to put the military outside of Carl's Jr. Let's see the different burger options because I think one of them has five, four or five patties on it. Okay. All right. Let's see. Sorry. It's a little, we have a little traffic here. We're sitting out on the the new porch.

Let's look at the Western bacon cheeseburger. What are we looking at on the Western bacon burger? Do they give you calorie counts? No, the thing isn't loading on their website here. That's convenient. This website is run by acronym that brought you shadow. Oh, here I got it now. You have to add the item. Okay. But go find the one that has five patties or whatever it is. The big Carl or the really, it's the really big Carl. Go to the really big Carl. How many patties on the really big Carl? This one's got three. Three patties on the really big Carl. Let me add it to my cart. Add the really big Carl to the cart.

Okay. Okay. Hold on. This is great. How do you add it again? This one is not letting me add it. Here's what I think people need to realize here. It's like people talk about like the weapons industry and the pharmaceutical industry, but the food industry, like fast food and fast casual food. Now, many people know about me. They're like, Oh, Tim, you're fat. I'm steakhouse fat. That's still bad. Still bad. I'm not called junior fat. Like I didn't get fat. It calls junior. I got fat. If you come to my live show, we'll talk about Wendy's. We'll talk about the hot. But I mean, this is the problem with healthcare. It's like, this is, and dude, forget soda. Forget that. I don't drink. So I've never drank anything with bubbles. I just don't like carbonation.

But think about the amount of people that are eating this food day in and day out, you know, it's just, it's kind of a nightmare. And I'm a freedom guy. I want everyone to have freedom. But at what point do you say if we're all on, if we're all on a program, right? Like if we're all on a healthcare program, a public option, at what point do you say like, you can't go out and have a big car every day at lunch? You can't have a big car? Should there be a car that you go to use? And they go, no, you've had two big carls. You've already had two big carls. And a really big carl. Yeah, you've had a really big carl. Yesterday, you had a really big carl. Today, you came in here to have a big carl.

Like it's, you can't do it. You can't eat trace leches pancakes in the morning, you know. Go to the unhealthiest items in America. I mean, the cheesecake factory's got a bunch. I mean, we won't do the whole episode talking about this, but like there is just this idea that personal responsibility is completely vanished from like anything and that nobody's responsible for anything. Yeah, let's read some of these. Okay. 15 highest calorie restaurant meals. Buffalo Wild Wings. We got 15, the cheese curd bacon burger. Dude, that's vomit inducing. Jesus,

Christ. Dude, cheese curds are disgusting. I'm sorry if you're from that frozen tundra up Wisconsin with all those cocks, but they're disgusting. And they put a deep fried cheese curds on top of a bacon cheeseburger 2000 calories. I mean, dude, it's not even good. I love outback steakhouse herb roasted prime rib is next. Look at that big fat slab. My mother loves that 2400 cows. I hop cheeseburger omelet with pancakes. I mean, if you go to another country and you showed them this food, literally, if you sat down with someone in Belgium, if someone started to make this food, like this is why Asia is getting fat because they're now getting our fast food and you're seeing like fat Asians for the first time. But like other European

countries, everyone talks about these socialist countries like Denmark and Norway. Here's what they're not doing. They're not slinging cheeseburger omelets and trezeleches pancakes to the population. By the way, for a very like low price, this is not expensive. You can go in and kill yourself for $9. Shake, Shaq, keep going down. Listen to this, Sonic's pineapple upside down master blast shake. By the way, gross vanilla ice cream, pineapple, salted caramel and pie crust pieces. This is the thing, folks. This is not even good. It doesn't taste good. Like that's what I think people, and I guess people are just so upset and they don't realize that literally you're ingesting poison that isn't even enjoyable. It's a literal drug and

Dave and Buster's Carnivore Pizzadilla. It doesn't, it sounds like an attack. It doesn't even sound like food. 2000 calories. A giant quesadilla stuffed with manchego, cheddar cheese, pepperoni, sausage, some other than more cheese, pepperoni, sausage. Me and Ben were in Vegas and we walked past the heart attack grill, which is where people die while eating there and they're proud of it. And you're looking at people sitting in this place eating butterfat milkshakes and like six patty burgers. And it's like it's become as big of a problem as the opioid crisis. Now it's not as expensive as heroin. So no one's killing you. No one's stabbing you in the street to go get trace leches, pancakes. But remember when Michelle, you know, Mike Racine, funny comic out of New York,

had a great joke about this. He's like, remember when Michelle Obama was like, we should all eat salads and then one fat white woman was like, but I feel beautiful the way I am. And we're like, all right, yeah, fuck the salad initiative. Lena Dunham's like, no, but I'm booty full. Everyone's like, okay, you're right. Everyone gets so mad that Michelle Obama was trying to feed kids broccoli. Remember that people like she's a communist. She's trying to make these kids because she just didn't want like people eating whoppers for lunch. Bonus episode 27 live from Toronto. This was recorded last week. Tim and the great Raymond Kump perform the podcast live. I hope you enjoy this segment. I mean, would you prefer royalty to

what we have in America now? I mean, what do we what do what would you even call what we have? It's like rape royalty or something. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what we have now is it's kind of close to professional wrestling. Yeah, as it's ever been. I mean, it's it's pretty just people hitting each other with chairs up there. Right. I mean, how great would it be though if like, we had to like, literally put a crown on Trump? Yeah, I mean, that's yeah, that would be fun. What people don't get is it's like, it is the ruling class is just losing power. Yeah, and it is wild to watch like, they don't know what they Michael Bloomberg's trying to buy the elect like everybody's just,

they don't know what to do anymore. They're just spending all this money. They don't know what to do. It's there's nothing to do. I don't know what people think is gonna like, this is fucking over. The West, I'm not saying like, you know, we're like, all right, the Chinese are taken over like, and like white men can't not that shit. I'm just saying, we've been scamming everything for 200 years now. It's done. Yeah, we had a run. We had a good run. We had a nice run. I don't know how you're gonna balance the books. It's like, like I had a kid last night in the show, he's like, I'm majoring in social work. I'm like, what are you going to help? What are you doing with that? Like, social work, putting people in a mass grave. Yeah, I don't even know what it is.

It's done. Yeah, it's done. It's some kid getting burned with cigarettes and then you walk in. We would just mean you would make it so much worse. The kid would be like, my parents hit me. We're like, 9-11 didn't even happen. You're whining about your parents. I mean, like I said, I have some fucking homeless heroin addict and be like, let's do your taxes. We're just all like poisoned. Because that is what social work is. It's like some junkie on the street and it's like, this is a deduction. Let's do a questionnaire to see what we're good at. Let's do a questionnaire. What would you like when they have to sit down with them and be like, what do you want to accomplish in this program? Really itchy right now. What would you like to accomplish in this

program, sir? You know, listen, we kid, but God love everyone. It's a real problem out there. It's a real problem. Trump will probably win again. I'd imagine he would. Look, Bernie Sanders has a messianic thing going on. He's good. We like him. I like Bernie. He's lovable. I don't think he'll get anything done, but it's not his fault. It's just him. It's not his fault. They'll kill him. It's what it is. It's what it is. I mean, it's what where we live. I don't understand about the left is that you have, it's like, you have the institution of whatever you want to call it, the deeps, whatever the fuck you call it, you luminosity. They start wars whenever the fuck they feel

like it. And you were trying to give away your assault rifles. Right. Like what I don't understand, because then you think like, I'm so sick of seeing like, resist on Twitter. Yeah. Resist, vote Bernie. It's like, they got, who are you resisting with a fucking tweet or a fucking like Antifa? Shoot people, right? That's what we're saying. I got a fucking dustpan. I'm going to hit you with it. Like, no, like, but the other problem is that all the pro-gun nuts say they don't want to give up their guns because they're like, well, it's, if the government gets tyrannical, it's like, it's tyrannical now. The only reason you're going to shoot anyone start now. This is an entertainment show. The whole show's entertainment. It's an entertaining show. It's entertainment.

It's not the only re I don't care about home defense. I think I think you shouldn't be able to have a gun for home defense. I want you to be home invaded and be cocked in a weird scenario. I don't care about that. But I do, I do like the idea of like overthrowing the government. I think it's nice. I think it's, you know, at least in America, I mean, I don't know what you guys feel about it, but like, that's how we were raised. Nobody's going to do that in America, except everyone's too fat. Exactly. And the only people who are doing it are like defending racist statues. Right. Like they're literally like malicious. Yeah, three percenters. The only thing they care about is a racist statue like the Robert Lee statue. They're like, you can fuck our kids,

but don't touch that Robert Lee statue. Don't you dare. That's our heritage. That's our goddamn history. If these fucking hillbillies just marched for like health care, they would let them keep the guns. It's so true. They never bring the guns out for anything good. Yeah. They're never like clean up the planet with the guns. They never marched around with AK-47s. Get Beyonce Grammy. Yeah. She deserves it. What about the state of popular culture and music? I mean, it's you were making electronic music now. Many people don't know this. Oh yeah. I mean, I dabble with it. I'm not, you know, actually, that reminds me when Diana died, I was listening to techno music on a radio station. It's like the princess is dead and they just started back into like

fuck, shit, piss, cum, you're a piss pig. The princess is dead. But yeah, I dabble on it, but no, look, I do see yourself becoming a DJ like Skrillex. I need to find maybe I mean, the mouse head. Armin Van Buren. I don't know these people. Steve Aoki, the, the, you know, the guy who looks like a wizard. I feel like I have this vision of me like DJing and I'm like, you know, I'm dressed like a baby. And how do you dress? How do you dress like a baby diaper and just say you're in a diaper? I mean, if I have a bonnet to, but I'm like, and I'm like, I have a, I have a set up where I'm like, my arms are going through a thing. So I look at it in the crib, but I'm spinning records. I gotta be honest with you. This sounds amazing.

Cause you need that. That's the thing where if that was happening in LA, I'm not even kidding. If you walked in because LA is so nuts and everyone's on so many drugs that if they, if they just saw you in a big cage doing that, people would be like, yo, that's baby comp. That's DJ baby comp. I mean, like, fuck, really, man. Whoa. There's a guy with the rat head. Yeah. Or dead mouse or whatever. He's rich. Yeah. He is rich. Uh, so yeah, I mean, but the state of music today, I mean, it just seems like a Gregorian chant for like molesting children. It's like, oh, I want to fuck your dad and suck it on his tits. Use me like a toilet and then like, I'm your toilet. Would you like Doja Cat though?

Look, Doja Cat is just like the whole thing crashing. Yeah. It's like the simulation just being like, it's a good song. That juicy song. Keep it juicy. Do we have, do we have the ability here to play music? No. No. Good. Phenomenal. Just out of curiosity. I knew the answer, but I was going to treat everyone to a song, but I mean, we, I don't want to be the old Foggy or whatever. Is that offensive now to say? Hello. Don't worry. He bites. I'm a photographer. Got cameras that I'm scared. I'm a photographer. Do you want me to show you how to take a pretty picture? I use the photograph of weddings and bar mitzvahs, sweet 16, everything, anything you want. Bar mitzvahs are great. Were you into somatic? All right.

That's not mutually exclusive. I bet plenty of self-hating Jews. We found a self-hating Jew. And I love all because she doesn't want to photograph bar mitzvahs, which no one wants to run around a party and photograph another family. I knocked over a woman at a bar mitzvah once. I know. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, I don't know. I mean, like, yeah, what's her name again? Billy Eilish? Billy Eilish. She's no Whitney Houston. No. Uh, Whitney Houston was maybe the greatest singer of our time. Right. And you still end up dead in a tub. You'll never not die in a tub. That's the point. You go to Hollywood with all these big ideas, you die in a tub. If you're lucky. We don't want, like, there's no aspirational art anymore. No. We don't want that. We want,

like, somebody that we could do it. I want, like, some amazing, not an amazing song. I want something decent that randomly came out of a dying cancer patients, like, no book. Right. And then, like, oh, that guy is also a junkie. I'm doing fine. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we want. No one wants to be like, oh, I have to, like, spend 10 years, like, doing vocal lessons. It's like, even Lizzo, who's good, but she's not great. No. She's not great. It's all like, look, I don't care if she's fat, but, like, it's the whole thing. Look how proud of her fat body she is. She's a gem. And, like, I don't care, but, like, who gives, like, no one's, like, what is this for? Like, what is this? They're trying to keep us as, like, cattle or something. Like, fat cattle. Like, the government

wants me to be fat. Yes. And, like, wants me to have rotten teeth. That's why they fucking made me drink Diet Coke every day. Lizzo's going to have a song soon. My teeth are rotten. Do you have dental cement? I want to perform my own operation on my tooth. Why my tooth all fucked up? I also need two more. Whatever. At McDonald's, what is a good thing to get that we cannot get in America? What? No, not to... Would they have poutine here? What'd you say? Here's the thing, guys. Here's the thing with the poutine. I'm not getting it at McDonald's. I mean, that seems fucked up. Yeah, Montreal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, that's the other festival that's not in the homeless shelter. What is poutine? Like, french fries

with cabbage? French fries, cheese curds and, like, gravy. It's pretty good. It's not the greatest thing. What else is Toronto known for? A lot of Middle Eastern food, right? Steak. They have a lot of steak houses here. Oh, nice. They do have a lot of steak here. A nice well-done steak. Nice, nice well-done grizzled piece of meat. Charred piece of beef. What's up with smokes into your fucking eyeball? Yeah. Fuck you. Here's your, yeah. Yeah. Here's your, here's your charred beef and don't, and you'll put you in jail if you say the wrong thing here. They'll put me in jail for fucking being fat. Yeah. Well, they should. They absolutely should. I just want to be in a cage. Yeah. He was so excited. I'm like, you might go to jail. He's like, oh, good. He's like,

can we arrange this so that I do go to jail? I'm not, like, I'm not like into like, I don't want to be used like a toilet, but right. I don't know. The greatest part of the greatest part of that sentence was, but you're like, I don't want to be used like a toilet, but last but not least, bonus episode eight. It's a vibe. This was one of my favorite moments from any of the Patreon episodes where Tim talks about how easy it is to be a recording artist and he's just talking about Billy Eilish and this guy he met in Houston. I just love this little chunk here. Enjoy. A lot of people from my high school graduate, people seem to be closer with people they met in high school than college. Yes. Because you go back, I guess, to this hometown and stuff.

And many of the people that I am, that I was friendly with in high school, I don't really talk to anymore. They don't reach out to me. They're intimidated by my fame. And I remember the last time I went back to Long Island, I was trying to get a bagel and I was inundated with people that wanted pictures with me and they wanted my autograph. And many of them were trying to fuck me as I walked in to get a bagel. And it was just very annoying. And they were just like, Hey, can I get a picture and fuck you? And I was like, all right, fine. So I was on the big line. I was just fucking them. And they were taking photos with me like selfies. It was just awkward. But listen, I get it. It's nice when someone, you know, ends up being a famous star.

Like me or Billy Eilish. Satan is my father. In the night, he comes in my room and he gives me a baby. And when the baby is born, it will enslave the world in darkness. Jimmy Fallon's like, that's great. You're such a talent. I'd hug you, but I'm chained to my desk. We don't want another incident. You know, that's all I'm saying folks. I don't know how to tell you how to live. Just go to, if you're a kid and you want to go away to school, go away to school. Have some fun out there. Enjoy yourself. You know, go away. Go somewhere different. I've only lived in New York or LA. I've only lived in New York or Los Angeles. You know, it's crazy to think about. And I'll probably

never live anywhere else. You know, I can't envision, maybe when I'm older, I'll move somewhere else. I think about that often. But these are the only two places I've lived. It's very unhealthy. Too very unhealthy environments, you know, but they're really the only two places that I can do what I do, you know, which is inspire people all over the world to really live. I got a message the other day from a child in India who watches the show. He's four and he said, Tim, I don't know. I can't do an accent. Stop. I just can't. It's not that I'm against it. I just can't even I'm so bad at it. Why is it? Why is it? It's not, I don't, I'm not disrespecting anyone if I do it. But I just, they've smoked a few cigarettes. I can't.

He says, four year old wrote me a letter. He said, Tim, he said, you know, things are not great here because I live in a slum and he goes, I think I, you know, you know, I think that it's very hard to, you know, we don't really have Wi-Fi. We have one little computer here in the whole small village and we all get together and we watch the show. All the villagers will watch the podcast every week and we, they canceled their subscriptions to guest digital, many of them after I left. I didn't tell them to do that, but they did that because they were, they were, they were, they were, he goes, we're eating literal garbage here. We're eating garbage and we're living in garbage. We're living, living in towns made of garbage.

But when we watch your show and you tell us that it's not going to get better, we get it. And we connect with it and we understand it and it makes sense to us and we laugh because we laugh because my brother was eaten by a tiger and he said, but watching you just kind of smoke cigarettes on a porch in Los Angeles and scream made me understand that even though there probably is no God and we live in an unending hellscape and literal demons run this earth and this reality, reptilians from another dimension suck joy out of people and then they feed off negative energy and they use it to create this paradigm that we all live in and we can't get out of it. We don't know how. The only way to do

it is high doses of psychedelic drugs, which I can't even afford. He goes, even though that's all the case and I know that this guy's four is great. He goes, but even though that's the case, he goes, I still just get enjoyment from watching you blow smoke into the Los Angeles sky. That's why I do it. It's why I do it. I don't do it. I don't do it for the money. I don't do it for the fame. I do. I do it for both. I do it really for those two things. That's predominantly why I do it. Those are the only two reasons I do it. Literally, those are literally the only two reasons that anyone does it. Anyone that says they don't do anything for money or fame is a liar. They're lying to your face. I just do it for the kids. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But you know, it is one of my

regrets. If I had gone to college, what kind of life would I have lived? Would I have been a swimmer and good looking and not funny? Then I would have really succeeded in comedy. I live in a small little liberal arts, ecology, bullshit town, and I maybe I would still drink and smoke a little weed and get in front of a room of dumb kids and inspire those losers and say, I'm a teacher. Aren't I cool? I'm the cool teacher. Maybe I would have been the cool teacher. Hey, I'm the cool drama teacher. I'm the cool, you know, I was in Houston with Christchurch and there was a couple of kids who were volunteering. I love cutting kids down. It's one of my favorite things. Like just, just look at Adam and go and you're a fraud. You know, I see that the baby sometimes I look at him

and go, you're a fraud. But then some babies are like, fuck you, faggot. And then I'm like, interesting, I respect you. There were these three kids that were, they were volunteering at the theater. And I said, what do you guys do? They're like, we're in the theater program. I said, oh, that's good. And I said, so what happens? Like after you graduate, you moved to New York or LA and they go, no, actually, they go, no, actually, Houston's got the third largest arts community in the country. And I just went, and I laughed in their face and I went, guys, come on, don't be stupid. As soon as I told that to Bernie laughs, I said, and they said, no, Houston's got the third largest liberal arts

community. The third largest arts community in Brent laughs so hard because you don't have it to go and fucking get kicked in the face. And there's nothing wrong with that. You know, but don't pretend that you're going to make some kind of career in fucking Houston, Texas as a theater major. Can you stop? Cut it out. I just looked at my laugh right in their goddamn faces. And I said, that's it, man. I was a theater group on my tour bus one day when I was doing the tours and they were like, yeah, some girl that graduated, she moved to New York city. Now she thinks she's better than all of us. I'm like, she is, she is. I went to a Long Island, a Holy Trinity high school that we had one of the best theater programs. We were one of the first high schools

in Long Island. I wasn't in the theater group because I'm not a loser. I'm in the real theater. Okay. Okay. Tough guy. And one of the, one of the, you know, that theater group produced the best theater group on the run produced a lot of lawyers because you're all full of shit. Every one of those theater kids should have been made to play gym and made to do what I did, run around a track being chased by a fire breathing dyke and look at penises while pretending they weren't. That would have been a much better skill set for them to fucking have then fucking this fake bullshit theater fucking thing that nobody, you should, you should sign a pledge if you'd get out of gym for four years that you have to do theater for 10 years and ruin your life. You should be

living in a, in a fucking, in a, in a fucking dirty apartment in New York with no hot water going on auditions with your fucking clunky ass trying to dance around and trying to do it. Broadway is a hell. If you get on Broadway, it's an absolute hell. Nobody gives a shit about you. We went to go see that ferryman show. So great. Nobody gives a fuck about those people. Spit on them right in the straight. I love the shelf. I ever saw one of those people. I would just spit right on them. I saw that show three times. I liked it so much. So good. I, I, I found them in the opera, which sucks now. It is just, it is so bad now. Dude, it used to be so good. There was a guy who was clearly

trying to get no voice and he was like one of the principles. It was like $600. It was like so expensive. And the guy's like, the guy was singing. He's like, people looking at your like, is this guy out late last night? Probably going to victim. He's probably homeless, but that show, I knew the, the lady that played Meg in that show who's not the lead. The lead is Christine. The other one is Meg. Meg. I knew she used to sit in the food Emporium and drink clam chowder and stare at the rain every day before she had to walk into the theater. She was a cat-like woman, very pensive, startled easily. And you see these people who just dedicate their lives to theater, like three people succeed.

My cousin, my third cousin is one of them, Bobby Lopez. He wrote the music for Avenue Q, Book of Mormon, Frozen. He got winner, Emmy Grammy, Oscar Tony. Two, two of each is one that he got twice. He's won two Emmys, two Grammys, two Oscars, two Tonys. He's in the most elite, where he deals with like Bob Michael Eisner, who's the guy who owns Bob Iger, Disney. I don't know. He deals with those people personally. He's like, why do I have an agent? He said, what? He's like, I don't know why I have WB. He's like, where are you? He leaves people directly. His agent called him once. I like, we're going to get you more work. He's like, more work. What? There's no more work.

I'm doing frozen too. Like I'm doing it. Like the guy's got money. He's like theater royalties, best friends, Lin-Manuel Miranda. He came to my grandma's funeral once. I'm like, Hey, come check out one of my comedy shows. He's like, well, your grandmother was a good woman. That was it, which is fair. I get it. It's theater royalty. But there's guys like him, his brother, his little brother ended up getting fucked over. He went into like Nickelodeon or something and they stole his idea or maybe it was adult swim. I don't know. One of those places, maybe it was MTV or Nickelodeon. One of those things that he just went in and pitched on and then three months later, they started to make it and get lawyers and everything. Yeah.

Dude, people don't care. Let's steal your shit. But most people in theater are damned. So I think if you get out of the gym for four years, you should have to at least give it a shot. You know, it's a tough profession, man. It's fucking hard as fuck. There's some very talented people. It's very hard to... Idina Menzel became super famous. She was in rent and then in wicked and then in frozen. She became super famous. But dude, the amount of people that become super famous from Broadway, it's like three of them. It's very, very hard. And I don't care, but I don't care. That's what it's supposed to be. But it's what it is. It's a calling. You believe in it. It's religion. It's like everything we talked about. But those kids in Houston were hilarious.

Well, actually, Houston has the third largest. You shut the fuck up. You clown. Houston is one of the fattest cities in America. The only thing they have the third largest of is people having coronaries at fucking Arby's. You have the third largest people in America, not the third largest art scene. Maybe they do have the third, but it's like that Bill Hicks joke, you know, when he goes Iraq and the fourth largest in the world. But yeah, after the first three armies is a real drop-off. After New York in LA, buddy, is a real drop-off in art scenes. Lizzo's ass has the fourth largest art scene in the country. Shut up to Lizzo. I'm collabing with her soon. Doja Cat, Eilish, Lizzo, Dylan. That's magic. What if I, what if I somehow became

a recording artist? You know, what, what music would I have to do? What kind of music? Hmm. Hic-Hop or something? That's for the blacks now. Oh, really? I think they want, I think that's what makes it cool is that it's black people getting into a genre of music they hadn't previously been into. Yeah. I picturing you with big black framed glasses, like Fubu, full jumpsuit chains. I really picture you doing it. I mean, there's so many people we know that aren't funny at all that are very successful as comics. Yeah, most. So it's a clear majority. It's not a hard for you to imagine. A big, a big majority. Do you have a beat? Can you get a beat up right now? Yeah, let's see. Like a beat where I could be a recording artist. I want to be like

post Maloney though. I'd be like, I've been in the rock star with my bitch. I've been in the club with this hoe. She be looking at me all night though. I'd be like, where you going, you hoe? She's like, I'm going to go and get the blow. I said, maybe you shouldn't do blow. Hold on. Yeah, this is where it's at. You want to see how easy it is to be a recording artist? I'll give it to you right now. Here we go. I pull up in the Bentley. She be looking for a long time. I'm really hard days, but I've got to make the song rhyme. This is ruining it a little. Maybe not. Hold on. I got a vibe with the beat. See me out on sunset. All my boys and my girls in

the car. Everybody like, this isn't even fun yet. And I'm like, society's collapsing because the corporate state is owning us. We're living in inverted totalitarianism. My boy Sheldon Rowland coined that term. He's dead now. Chris Hedges loves him. Where my hoes at? We might as well be hoes now. Because we can only come if it's violent. We need a lot of sexual violence. Our society is built on war and murder of the innocent. The torture and rape of the innocent. And the murder of children because you know they're killing children. And I'll be chilling in my rover. The American empire is over. Where my hoes at? Are you a ho for the corporate state? I am. I am. Spread my asshole. Exxon-mobile. Fuck me in my mouth, yo. Exxon-mobile. Fuck me in my mouth, yo. Fuck

me in my mouth, yo. Come that Saudi soda in my fucking mouth, bro. Put your oil in my mouth and my ass. Put your oil in my ass. Put your oil in my mouth and my ass, though. I don't even care, though. Jeffrey Appstein and Jess Lane. Killing people in a cult rituals. Whatever. It's all chill. It's a vibe. I turned the app scene once. We was at the island. Hillary was eating on a fetus. And she looked at me and she said, bro, it's a vibe. I was like, fuck, it's a vibe. And then I ate a baby foot. Hell Satan. Everybody now. Hell Satan. Exxon-mobile. Come in my mouth. Hell Satan. Hillary Clinton eating a baby. It's a vibe. I turned around the bill. I said, Bill, how you been doing? He said, good. And he was eating a baby too. It's a vibe. I mean, I think that's, that's now

the critique of that song would be that it's, it's, it's a little too, it's very lyrical. It's very lyrical. And, but it's a vibe. You know? Yeah. Patreon.com slash the Tim Dillon show. Please go sign up. It's only $5 a month. There's hundreds of hours of bonus content on there. It's a great way to support the show. Also go to timdilloncomedy.com. He has a lot of shows coming up. New York, New York, Carolines, March 12th through the 14th. Tim's going to be in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at Helium Comedy Club, March 19th through the 21st. He's going to be in Des Moines at the Funny Bone in Iowa, March 26th through the 28th. Funny Bone in Manchester, Connecticut, April 3rd through the 5th. Bloomington at the House of Comedy, April 9th through the

11th. Albany, New York, he's going to be at the Funny Bone, April 17th through the 19th. Dallas, Texas, Hyena's Comedy Club, April 23rd, 24th and 25th. Phoenix, Arizona, he's going to be at the House of Comedy, May 7th through the 9th. Columbus, Ohio, he's going to be at the Funny Bone, May 21st through the 24th. Omaha, Nebraska, May 28th through the 30th at the Funny Bone. He's going to be in San Francisco over the summer, June 4th through the 6th at the Punchline. He's going to be in Springfield, Missouri, June 12th through the 13th at the Blue Room. He's going back to Canada, June 18th through the 20th in Edmonton at the Comic Strip. And July 7th through July 12th, he's going to be in New York at Levity Live in West NIAC. Hope I'm saying that right. Also,

remember that we have merch. We have a store on Bonfire. I'll put a link in the description for that too. Shirts with Tim dressed up as Megan McCain on them. We have life in the big city shirts. We have mugs. We also have a growing subreddit where you can share clips from the show and talk to other fans, r slash Tim Dillon. Go check that out. Follow Tim on Twitter at TimJ Dillon. Follow him on Instagram at TimJ Dillon as well. And that's all for now, guys. I hope you enjoyed all this bonus content and we'll see you next week.