The Tim Dillon Show - 205: 205 - Well, LA Was Fun

Episode Date: June 21, 2020

Tim discusses his favorite comedian from the hit Netflix show You, talks his love for JP Morgan and their new interest in equality, and offers his take on all the wonderful and talented people in and around Hollywood. Bonus Episodes every week: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow Merch: https://www.bonfire.com/store/the-tim-dillon-show/ Please Support Our Sponsors: WALLETS - http://www.ridge.com/tim to get 10% off a ridge wallet. UNDERWEAR - https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ and order with PROMO Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. We are here is late Thursday night early Friday morning in the studio. We are doing a lot of stuff. We got the TBS tournament of laughs coming up that we made a video for me and Benjamin. We're going against I don't know. I think Godfrey was a phenomenal comedian and Maybe we'll advance. I don't know if that's the audience vote. I don't know if they're a judge I really don't know. I didn't I haven't paid attention and TBS executives have tweeted they've called me and they're like, why aren't you tweeting anything out? And I just I'm like, listen, it is what it is. Don't you do any of the marketing network?

Do you do any of the marketing for the show? One of the executive producers like maybe Joe Rogan will talk about it. I'm like, maybe It was that are you trying to tell me something? Maybe he will, you know, if he likes a show, maybe you'll bring it up. I don't know Let's get to the most I want to say pressing matter, but it's really not in the world of You know civil unrest pandemics and Economic catastrophes

But it is a pressing matter and it is something people have a lot of interest in and it is something that everybody's kind of talking about this week And it does affect LA and it is serious and it is something that I want to talk about and It's something I've talked about before on this show And then it is that ocean prime is back open the Steakhouse ocean prime Which is a lot of good seafood and it's in Beverly Hills and I think that it's back open on the patio now They do have inside dining, but they're encouraging people to go on the patio, and I think that's important It's important that people go back out on the patio and be careful, but also enjoy yourself Ocean prime is also of course offering curbside to go

That's I'm kidding That's a joke That's a joke. Of course story. I'm talking about is a lot of people are trying to recall Gavin Newsom the governor of California and People said to me, where are you on this and you know, he's you know, he's decent looking and he's done it fair You know whatever he's a little drunk on his own power, but who is it? You know? I Was watching this there's a great this is show on Netflix called you have you seen this? Why are you laughing have you seen this show on Netflix? Yeah, yeah called you saw both seasons

It's the guy from gossip girl pen Badgley Bagley, I don't know how to say his name and and he plays a serial killer and The first episode is in Brooklyn The first season is in Brooklyn and the second season is in Los Angeles, California, and I was watching this show and This show is very fun to watch I Mean it is you get it's I mean, it's not fun to live I imagine But it is fun to watch. I mean it is a very watchable show

It's a very watchable show and You know who's in it? You know who's in the show comedian Do you know who's in the show is it crystal? Yeah, no, it's comedian Zach cherry Can you Google Zach cherry? Google Zach cherry Chris is in it as well Google Zach. This is the big guy comedian Zach cherry. You know say he's a big boy

But he's a fun man Chris is in it as well. What is Chris play in the show a Pet a file well, he plays a comedian who is Into an underage girl Here's a thing folks He plays a character named Henderson I Spoke it a Chris Lee about three times in my life They've all been to the comedy store and he's been very pleasant to me now

That is not a defense and that is not me trying to qualify Anything I'm gonna say here, but I will say that Chris has been very kind to me And he's said that I'm very funny and that does count a Little bit it does not a lot not it doesn't excuse What is shaping up to be some very disturbing allegations, but he's always been very nice to me Chris is one of those guys who's like a real famous comedian like when you look at his Instagram It's like machine gun Kelly would comment. He did the thing with Eminem. He's like the LA comic, right? He's like Bieber's favorite comic, right like Bieber will go to the store, right? Yes. Yeah

It's everything in comedy that like I am I am not that Like I am not like the guy that's cool who has a fan base that's cool You know what I mean like the last person to retweet something. I did it was really big was Candace Owens So let's just You know, I'm like not a cool comic and Chris is a cool comic No, not dead dead has done uncool things, but I mean like but he's very sweet to me. Listen Everybody knew the dude got laid We just knew he got laid because his fan base was women women would attack him in the hall of the comedy store

They would run up to him. I'm not saying I'm not saying That they are but I'm saying from my own eyes I would see like women go up to him and like he was like women don't come up to me after the set and Go Thank God, I saw you on info wars with my girlfriend. You're so hot your tits are so hot I Say it in four That doesn't really happen like that's not the type of comic I am sadly

It would be nice if I was like, you know pulling up in the hot car. Yeah, I usually get out of an Uber It's usually a frustrated Asian man. I don't know. I don't know if the minivan Doors automatic if they're all automatic didn't why even have a hit But that's so listen If you're just fucking a lot of chicks that are of age and they're mad at you it's it's on them, right? I mean, listen women have agency women are smart women can make choices Now if those women are underage, that's a serious problem. It's a legal problem. It's a moral problem

it's an ethical problem and I Imagine if more of that comes out it's gonna be dealt with in a court Which is where you know, unfortunately You know should be dealt with because that is criminal activity um, if you're 19 and you're mad because you know You know the guy whose hotel room you went to at 3 a.m. Turned out not to be a gentleman This is a learning experience for all involved But if you're underage and you're messaged that is fucking

Not right and that'll be dealt with In a court of law I would imagine or you know, it's it's also dealt with in the court of public opinion where people go somebody who's doing that It's just not somebody that people want to do business with anymore or establish a friendship with You know I you know I hope that stuff isn't true But

You know, I When I was on keto I hoped that that would work Do you see what I mean? You know, obama used to say hope was is a powerful thing not really It's not that powerful facts Gravity immutable laws those things occasionally fly in the face of hope

So I hope That that is there is no truth to the allegations that he was messaging underage girls Now it does seem that Sadly My hope Is not going to stand up against and by the way, I hope that for everyone involved. I hope it for the girls I hope it for him. I hope that like That's not going on

Am I gonna get a better spot at the store because he won't be there? Let's be honest. Yes I'm not I'm not gonna lie I mean the week ain't over it might not be a few people don't be there but I'm kidding. We're kids a comedy show. We're doing a comedy podcast and I wish everyone well um Here's a reality It's a bad situation for a lot of people that knew him that are very disappointed and disgusted

And you know, there's a lot of fucking. I bet that guy sadly Has a lot of demons a lot of things that he's fighting and it's a whole thing's bad Whole thing is no good No good, but everything I'm involved in is destroyed. I got into subprime mortgages. They were we you know, we had a recession um Adam mckay was producing a show of mine and then he dissolved his company with will ferrell gary sanchez Anthony bourdain's company was producing my travelogue with comedy sensual and he hung himself in a room several days later Uh, my agent who signed me in 2016 is no longer working at the agency

That signed me. I mean I tend to get into the party as the party is break it up I tend to arrive at the party as the cop cars are being seen through the um Window and this is maybe literally now, but that's when I get to the party and that's unfortunate. So if I walk in I mean it's countdown till something is gonna go down and it's not gonna be good So again I feel for the for for the victims of this like the women that were

Messaged and were made to feel uncomfortable that were underage That is illegal and that is wrong. I do not feel for the comedians who are complaining that They don't get better spots. I I think it's a little disgusting To try to weave your own personal narrative into this and your own gripes and your problems chris kill Whether you like his comedy or not chris killed. He killed harder at the store than Anyone I've ever seen. I mean he earned his spots at the comedy store He had theaters of thousands of people coming to see him I mean whether you liked his comedy or not. It doesn't matter people did and they came to see him and he made money

So the comics that are out there now and they did this with louis. They did this with everybody that come out That guy just sucks. He's stuck. There's not even good at comedy like me It's not good at comedy like me All right, man get online create your own shit then, you know, it's fucking stop whining You know, but I mean this is uh thursday night early friday morning more may come out more is may come out um I would imagine that

This rocks things a little bit here in this town Um, I've only been here a year Seems like it may be time to start thinking about pizza again in the hudson river If we could get de Blasio out of there Get the coven out and the de Blasio out. Maybe I'll waltz back I think rogan's teasing that he's moving to another state Chris seems

Unfocused at the moment because he'd be the next biggest act So I don't know what's gonna happen out here, but you know See me. Here's me There he goes. There we go. See him Just one taco one last taco You know, I feel bad for Um, you know the the women that were affected, you know, I mean this is shitty and I don't know facts This is the other thing. I've not done a deep dive on the facts

Doesn't mean I I'm doubting people are not believing them. I'm saying I have not personally looked into this At all. Have you looked at any of the facts really? I mean facts. I mean, I guess anything could be photoshopped, right? I mean, these are just screenshots. I mean The idea that all these people are coming together and photoshopping a bunch of things seems To be do you think it's the russians? Do you think it's the russians? It's russian bots. Do you think it's do you think it's the chinese? It would be and I'm not saying that he should do this

But it would be beyond funny If he came out And said this was russia. Yeah Like if he came out and he said first they installed donald drop the puppet then They manufacture a bunch of screenshots

And take me down God damn them the russians Putin fuck you, Putin I don't want to laugh folks I don't want to laugh because people are getting angry with me for laughing and they're gonna go to sir I know it's a serious situation, but I deal with serious situations with humor. It's you know, I just have to laugh but and you know, but

It's it's you know Wherever it goes it goes. I don't know what to tell you, you know You know, it probably was not russia. I don't know or china Yeah, I imagine it wasn't china I mean it seems legit It it's it's unfortunate That this is happening

You know There's so much good news in the country By the way, this is like the entertainment news, right? Except that the news is so bad now. They're like this is entertainment news, you know They're like and in the entertainment corner This is the fluff, right? This is the lighthearted fluff news that you get If it was doing that it's so weird to take that role on that show you on netflix It's very strange to take that role

Can you imagine like taking that role if you were doing that like it as if to say how could I be doing this if I did take this role? Yeah Can you imagine that you have the script and you're like Jesus Jesus this is good But that's you know, that's kind of what we're gonna say about that. There's no no new facts about it yet um And you know, we're gonna withhold

I'm not the judge in the jury but I am someone in the courtroom sitting around eating potato chips Who's gonna talk shit after the trial? I'm like, what do you think of me? Yeah, so that's what I'm doing. I don't know the facts I haven't done a deep dive

The facts are disturbing that are coming out. You know um And that's where I'll leave it You know A lot a lot bigger people are gonna have something to say about this. I'm sure people that knew them well celebs and friends and whatever, you know I don't know. It's like What do you think the implications are about this? Why don't you make a statement?

Why do I make a fucking statement? I have to make a statement. Why don't you make a statement? Where's jayme vernan on this? Where's all the other producers? You guys fucking sit and listen everything everybody says and then you don't have to have a goddamn stay We all got to come out with statements You're in the fucking room for everything that we all say and Nobody says anything, huh? So you want me to have a take on it? Well, what's your statement? What's your take? My take is that it's bad to be a pedophile

That's it But he's not a pedophile a feeba file. It's bad to be at a feeba file. Get the word up, please Now i'm not gonna correct people on twitter. It seems like an odd hill to die on I think neil I think neil brennan was doing it. Neal brennan was like in the middle of the night being like it's a heba file I just woke up. I looked at my phone. Oh my god. What's this guy doing? Neal Put your phone down the fuck are you doing? It's actually a heba file

Hey neil kind of bad A heba philia is a primary sexual interest in mid to late adolescence generally ages 15 and 19 It's a number it is one of a number of sexual preference across age groups Subsubbed under the technical term chronophilia. I don't know that means What is a heba file is that somebody likes jews A heba file is the what's a heba file just somebody likes jews Somebody who's attracted to men in large hats with beards who own who own projects in brooklyn

People attracted to people I'm attracted to men with beards who own low-income housing in williamsburg. What are you? Oh, you're a heba file Um I don't know. Okay. Well, listen there you have it folks. I mean that's ben's fucking statement, you know nice and simple Is it all over the news? It's all over the news, right? Yeah, I mean when you type in his name into twitter, it seems like there's still like 20 tweets a minute I'd say and there's still news articles about it. So It's up there, but you know, he was trending at the same time that world war three was trending. So

you know Right There's just so much going on There's a lot going on Here I go. I grabbed the the burrito and there it goes Delta Is that you going up the plane? Yes walking up the plane As I leave Los Angeles just gets bombed by china

I just wave I land in york. I just put a pizza. I just take a bite of pizza and I'm like, it's new york You know, what are you gonna do? Well, all right, everybody we're gonna continue to record the rest of the episode tomorrow I just I felt like I should address this tonight And uh, you know, maybe tomorrow everything I said will be What if they start finding bodies, you know If they find like 10 bodies, well, we just won't put this out. No, we will What if they find 10 bodies? I'm sitting there like tomorrow I have to come in like this. I'm like

Uh I What if the Andrew Santino kills his wife tonight? I gotta come in and I gotta be like, uh Tony hinge cliff gets drunk. He kills a family of four on the 405. I'm like, you know, uh Whitney coming bludgeoned your dog to death. I'm like, you know, uh, I have to make a four statements To make four statements today All right, folks, we will continue this shortly All right, everybody. We are back here

Uh friday The next day we did, uh, we did a little intro the beginning of the show we shot last night thursday night. We covered the delia situation and uh, not much has changed, uh In 24 hours Now, of course, we are digging up podcast clips from joey Diaz and Rogan and we're trying to you know, we're doing what we do as a species which is try to Try to see how many people we can put in the net This is how we emerged from quarantine. We emerged from quarantine not stronger

not stronger When was my favorite thing is when we shut down the entire economy there were people on tv going We're all gonna come out of this much stronger We're gonna really realize what's important And by what's important, we mean what was said on a podcast in 2011 That's what we mean when we get out of this quarantine. We're gonna we're gonna really focus on what really matters What really matters, you know, your family your health

And what joey Diaz said on a podcast seven years ago That's what really matters That's how we came out of quarantine very strong, you know Comedy is is is getting to the point where I you know, I was talking to louis gomez the other day and louis made a really good point he said he's like we got five years left in the business and What he meant by that and I think he was right is that within five years

The type of comedy that we do Is just going to become it's gonna fly in the crosshairs of google and youtube and a lot of these big platforms and they're going to just kind of do everything they can to get rid of it And at that point you'll you know go to a smaller platform You know or you'll just say fuck it You'll go, you know, I had my run. I had fun made some money, you know, but the tide is is turning when it comes to The types of comedy that people even want, you know, younger people don't want

The type of comedy that might upset anybody And I don't really have an interest in doing the type of comedy that you know, younger people want right now I don't you know, it's not for me. So I'm just gonna keep doing what I do until it's uh impossible to do But but that could be coming sooner rather than later And I mean, I'll always have some level of you know podcast you can broadcast or I'll go on the road You know to the extent that I want to go on the road. Um We do have new dates on sale right now in august. We have

I'm gonna be uh at the uh Sacramento punchline. It's the last weekend of july Into august sacramental punchline. Okay, so friday july 31st Through saturday august 1st sacramental punchline. I'm gonna be a wise guys in salt lake city, utah friday august 7th and 8th cleveland hilarities thursday august 13th through the 15th And then the ontario improv the 27th through the 30th of august if you're healthy and you want to go out And you're sick of sitting at home and you're sick of sifting through the podcasts

Of you know people to try to find things they've said that are upsetting Um, and you want to get out and breathe some fresh air in a mask um Which I love now the way everyone's getting made at rogan because of the mask and it's like How many things about this virus have been reversed? How many? Uh, they said it lived on surfaces and then they said no didn't

Sorry, we didn't mean that they said asymptomatic carriers could could Really transmit the virus now. They said well actually not really It's pre-symptomatic, which means you'll get symptoms eventually and for a few days you may not have the symptoms But in terms of asymptomatic people people that never have symptoms. We don't know how much that You know, they've they've revised the mortality rate a bunch So i'm not saying, you know, don't wear a mask in a business or if you're around other people that seems smart, too However

It's very possible they come out here in a few weeks and go. Oh, yeah, by the way Uh, the masks were you know, no good or the masks were not as effective as we thought Yeah, we thought ventilators were great in the beginning and then we realized they were killing people You know, who knows who knows what they say about the masks, but like let's not treat anything as dogma Because we love doing that. We love hearing something and going god. This is the way it is now And then a week later We realized that that wasn't the case and then we you know, we just throw it away and pretend it never happened Just forget it pretend it never happened like when these protests started happening

We just pretend we weren't supposed to not gather in groups of 10 000 people Just forgot that we pretended that that it wasn't a thing So Yeah, but I will be back on the road in august unless the spikes are crazy and like, you know, it's dangerous to go out I don't I don't know. I can't predict it. I'm not going to predict it. You know, I I'm not going to predict it um, but you know, this is You know, when you when you go on twitter and and most of you don't and you shouldn't but The amount of people that call themselves comedians is hilarious

Like does any other group of people? Have such a lax definition of who is and who isn't a comedian? How many people out there are saying they're a model with no evidence of it? I'm sure some but how many people call themselves a model and have never modeled and are grotesque

You know disgusting I mean, how many people are doing that maybe more than I know Are people doing that? Maybe People would like lesions on their face sit down with a group of other people go by model actually I Because there's so many people that are comedians and all of them have been robbed. They're all geniuses one at all They are phenomenal No one better than these guys and they've all been robbed by somebody somebody

Took their opportunity away I had nothing to do with them I had nothing to do with the fact that it's just a very difficult thing to pursue It it it was all The cards were stacked against them and all these people do all day Is attack people that have succeeded? I mean it's it's boring at this point. Yeah. I mean you read it You go through it. You scroll through it. You're like

guys You see where these people live. They don't even live in new york or LA. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in denver I'm in denver and I didn't have the career I should have had the fuck out of denver But it doesn't matter It's not rational You know But it's just it's why maybe there's me and me loose. We're talking about it's like five years left

It's like you almost want to just say to some of these people and some of the people that are losing their minds Could buy and sell me some of them have so much money. It's It's wild How much money some of these people have and they still are oppressed It's I I I I I don't know how it happens Like they're still oppressed With all the money in the world. It's still a tie still can't get out of bed They can't go to a comedy club. They're everything because it's just

You know, they have to just if they go to a comedy club on their way into the comedy club They just have to fight off rapists To get inside these people you know Tens of millions of dollars Nothing's enough It's never enough for anyone here never enough

From the open miker that doesn't make it to the person who lives in a mansion Nothing satiates anybody Everybody's constantly battling this invisible force that is keeping them down at all times And this force, you know takes many different names, you know Eventually it gets boring. I mean, that's really what it comes down to it's like I've been in this business about 11 years I've seen all of the cycles of people You know, I've seen the people on the outside

Become people on the inside and then the you know, and then they become the enemy. I've seen that You know, I've seen the people that have all the big opinions get the jobs and then suddenly they don't have those opinions anymore You know It's just not interesting. You're just like, okay, you know um You know because now, you know, obviously what what chris did was abhorrent and you know more and more comes out about that all the time But like there's this idea that like there's a a crew of people that like support this kind of behavior

or Like protect him And I don't know the guy well and I've never hung out with him and we've spoke less than five times but This idea of how close everybody is is kind of I don't know where it comes from like I watched this great documentary about surfing called Generation momentum generation or generation moment whatever and it's about all these surfers that they'd essentially grew up together in this house

In oahu. Yeah momentum generation and is about all of these, you know, uh, kelly slater rob machado Shane dorian these guys are The best surfers in the world, you know, some of them that have ever lived and It's about how they started out as teenagers in hawaii in the small house in oahu And they know each other inside and out and they're all like best friends it's like a brotherhood And they they grew up together and they're they're fiercely competitive And of course there's they have issues with each other

But they all become great at this thing together and it's like I was watching that and I'm like well comedy is just not this It's just not this it's just the reality, you know There are people that are doing comedy. They're very good at it. There are people that are doing it where you go huh It doesn't matter. I mean, it's just it, you know, some people get very good at it Some people are making millions of dollars and are still not good at it And it's just not it's the market decides right and then that's just what it is And everybody gets upset at you if you instead you you have to supposedly call out everyone who sucks like what job does that work

What job could you do that? You just go into the office you sit down and you go. Hey, sarah, you suck You suck Sue is much better At accounts receivable It's not a work environment. You can't do that. You just go you worry about yourself You do your own fucking thing and you're done Really and then you see people every now and then but this idea that it's like

Everybody's super tight And everybody knows what everybody else is up to it's like it's not really the case. I'm not saying nobody knows I don't know how things work, but like the idea that like there's this group of men These podcasters are keeping me down They are keeping me down I wouldn't Not really Not really

also You can start a podcast or you could do something, you know So It's kind of all I have to say about that. It's a great documentary the momentum generation it is It is really cool. You know, it's such a Unique job to have professional surfer. You know, it is a very interesting thing to do. I'm not a surfer And I don't know anyone who surfs, you know, because I tend to

I tend to usually only Talk to people that have brain cells So I don't really speak to people that surf and I mean, they're there's very it's a very impressive Athletic feet, but these are not the brightest people. They are just not it's the reality. They stand on a board and you know Surf on a wave. It's great, but you know, this never a surfer's never said something where you've went wow You know what I mean, unless it was you were like, wow, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. How are you that dumb? but

It's fascinating. It's fascinating to just give your entire life to something like those guys did That's what's great about the documentary. That's kind of where it overlaps with comedy You know, not in the sense that we all respect each other's talent and enjoy each other's presence but In the sense that for lack of a better word some of us many of us We we we have dedicated our lives to a thing, right? We just got good at one thing It's kind of crazy when you think about it like you have your entire life And you just get good at one thing, you know, these surfers got really great at one thing

They woke up in the morning surfing They go to bed at night fucking, you know spitting up salt waters everything they did in their entire life Everything they ate everything they did every workout they did every relationship they had Every friendship it was all fit around surfing That is similar to comedy in the sense that when you get in you go all in you go ahead first And then if it if if it works If it works and that's a big if okay If it works it it rearranges your entire life where you live who you're friends with

You know your habits What you do every day because you have to do it all the fucking time. So it's interesting watching that Um It's like any sport if you're very good at it. It's it's a culture As well as it's you know something you spend every day doing And it was just interesting watching that there's I don't believe the healthiest way to live life is that way by the way I don't believe that to be but to have a balanced life Is you know the antithesis of what I just explained, you know

When you are Dedicated to something You cannot have any type of balanced life. You can't Just got to decide how much you love that thing How much you need to be a part of that thing? And it was interesting watching that documentary because you could see that there are these people That spent their entire lives and it defined their lives and like They they they'll they'll never be more at home than when they're on that surfboard in the water. That that's where they live

Truly where they live like a comic being on stage or That's where they're they live and like most people don't have that kind of passion They don't have that kind of passion or if they do they're not good at it And when you see all these people on twitter complaining about how bad everything is You realize that like many of them don't even want to be comedian. They don't even Get it. They just want something right? They want that community. They want something like I guess there were guys in generation Like that crew that would just get out in the ocean and like not even get up on the board and like After a while you'd imagine that those people would leave the beach

They just leave like You know They go have a california burrito and figure something else out but In the entertainment business, you know Not everybody leaves a lot of people stay They stay And they're angry

And they don't want to do it like most of them don't even want to do they just want to have Some somebody needs to tell them they're good. It's most people aren't good at anything I don't know what to tell you. You're not good at something A lot of people waste their lives trying to get good at something And they still don't do it And it's like well, what'd you do that for? Why'd you why'd you waste your life? I mean, it's crazy, right? You get one life. It's great. What what are you doing?

Every indication He's showing you you shouldn't be on a stage telling jokes And you're not gonna get paid to do that and whatever you thought this was gonna be it's not And it doesn't matter and they still just go fuck it. I'm I'm in I'm in When this quarantine ends they will flood the clubs again After three months of no income they will flood them again They will just go in because they truly believe that it's gonna now it'll work

Now it'll work When half the clubs are not even opening. They're not open And uh, you know the rooms are socially distanced And people can't even sit next to each other And yeah, now it'll be now we're now now i'm in Now it's gonna fit the pieces are all gonna fit together now It's a crazy journey When you dedicate your life to something because there's a chance that you won't be good at it

And then there's a chance that you will be good at it And it won't make you happy even if you're good at it Which is even what many of these people don't realize even if they were good at it They wouldn't be happy Because that's not really where happiness comes from the people that are doing comedy. It's like they're not doing it to be happy They're trying to be happy, but it's not making them happy. You know Anyway, it's just what it is Ansel Elgort uh being accused of being a pedophile now. He

Had sex with a 17 year old when he was 20. I mean, what are we doing now? You know, I mean I always do that joke on twitter where I said i'm dating ansel elgort and then he go ansel elgort broke up with me I just want to get I just want to always get him to respond or You know call you call a lawyer or something Uh gabby who did not reveal her last name tweeted a statement on friday and made an unverified claim that the actor now 26 sexually assaulted her when she was a teenager gabby described sobbing and being a pain it said I didn't want to do it the only words that came out of his mouth where we need to break you in

Well, I mean, that's you know, I want to get a I Mean here's a deal man was a kid 20 and yes sex with a 17 year old I mean Is that legal in new york? I don't know. I mean, I you know, I didn't want the show to be about the age of consent But it seems a little wild. I mean, it's just you know, what are we doing now? But uh, it seems a little wild to just say the dude's a pedophile I mean, he seems like a piece of shit ansel elgort. He always has he's just from a rich socialite family new york city

His dad's a photographer. I'm not holding any of that against him But he just has a face of a guy that's you know a piece of shit, you know So I'm not like I'm not defending him per se But I'm just saying that When someone's 17 and somebody's 20 and they hook up Calling one of them a pedophile Calling the 20 year old a pedophile

Is crazy. I mean that seems crazy It's like race everyone's a racist now if you're white you wait you're a racist You wake up you're racist How you like your pet latch I mean wait what? I mean, it's just like Nothing means anything anymore

I don't know. Maybe it comes out that ansel elgort is doing you know that he you know sexually assaulted the girl I don't I believe her I would say I believe her I've never met her I don't know her and I never I didn't even see the screenshot, but let me just believe her I just want to I want to say that but not the woman that accused biden you lying whore Not you Not you Okay, terror read You lying you lying whore

I believe but I want to believe I'm going record I Believe the screenshot We're not the screenshot. I believe the the the the the woman who tweeted about ansel elgort. I don't I believe her because I believe all women. I believe all but not Terror read will accuse biden of I that no no, I don't believe that I don't Now we have photos of biden sniffing the hair of children and doing all kinds of weird things to them, but Let's not call him a pedophile

Let's call ansel elgort pedophile because he looked up with a 17-year-old, but not not Joe biden who was on camera Sniffing the hair of children and like massaging Children I look but let's not Let's not jump to any conclusions about uncle Joe You know And I'm sure the woman and I'm sure the woman terror read Who's accusing biden is a lying whore

I just want to I want to I just want to be clear on this because I support women Met's got a great tweet about this where he said Are we I forget the way he worded it, but it was great. He goes Quick question are we de Instating the concept of due process for chrystalia that we literally just reinstated for Joe biden after previously de-instating it for old men Please someone I just want to be on the right side of history. He's got a point. He's got a point

I'm not saying that the li is innocent or whatever or should even be You know people should think he's innocent. I you know, but It's just funny that the the democratic front runner Has been like very credibly accused of sexual assault But then I guess so is trump. So I guess it's all like it's a wash Right if you get to run for president or be the president, we just let you rape

We just let you go at it. Does it really matter? It's actors and comedians and people like that But if you're leading the country, you can write below you can grab a little right below. It's okay But if you're the guy in baby driver It's a problem But if you're the president of the united states or you're you're going to be the president of the united states That's you know, let's not get nuts There is a toxic culture in hollywood 100 percent

It's bad. It's bad for women. It's bad for children. There's a lot of powerful people in la that Are predators and that prey on vulnerable people and Those people have been protected and many of those people have built fortunes Okay, and they have mass mass great fortunes and with that amount of money and clout and power Comes the ability to continually shield themselves from any accountability We would know more about who those people are except for kory feldman

Tends to not ever get to the names kory feldman is now promised to out all the hollywood pedophiles Forever and then every time he's supposed to do it. He just drops a new single with the angels So I could be wrong on this We I guess we would know who those people are. He's always like and I'm gonna announce every big pedophile in hollywood But before we do that We got a new song and then he just starts going into like, you know So

Well, I was a child actor I never succeeded And I was great looking as a kid. I was top notch, you know um and I never got to a point where I was like in in in in in or around like these predators because they would have went nuts They would add a field day with me not now But then then they would have had a field day with me

Now they would just be like, you know park my car or something But back then I would have been a man about town In this place, but my parents were inept and I truly believe that they Could have they would have sold me into sex slavery but being lazy

boomers and Incapable of closing a deal They did not I don't believe it was immorality. I believe it was that they were literally stupid Lazy and good for nothing And that's probably the only reason I was not passed all around Hollywood. I imagine that they they probably Were going to hand me off to a director and got lost

My mother had a horrible sense of direction And I imagine my boomer parents in Long Island fighting all the way home About not making the drop where they were dropping me off I don't have any proof of that But I imagine that both of my parents were pedophiles Who tried to sell me to Hollywood and failed even said her I don't know. I don't have proof of that, but let's not get lost

in that I would have done better With competent they were not good stewards of my career is my point They actually they actually to their credit Shielded me from a lot of that stuff Like I remember I was in a play in the city and my grandmother used to stand outside the bathroom So like nobody would come in and molest me, which was very nice of her, you know

The play that I was doing was about There's more molestation going on in the country than I had realized Everybody's getting molested. This is a big problem and The the statistics on it are like staggering Did you know that? Especially during quarantine. It's highly under reported right now. It's it's fucked up if you really look into it What do you mean? Teachers were the ones who are really reporting kids getting abused

But now a kid doesn't they don't discover that a kid's abused until he's taken to the emergency room because it has to be so bad Wow. Yeah It was pretty depressing reading about that the other night, but it's it's just skyrocketing And highly under reported. I mean, it's a depressing point. Sorry. It's not funny Well, no, that's what you add to the show often. It's funny. So it was a good It's nice to take a break from what you usually add, which is non-stop hilarity. It's why you're here And I thank you for coming in with something serious and sad as opposed to your usual festival of gags I didn't give you a good you couldn't really

Oh, wow. I you didn't you didn't really get you talked about the children that uh, it doesn't get reported until they're in the emergency room From the abuse. What's not funny about that? Well, was it did I not uh, was that not I didn't oh you spiked the ball you set it up for me I fucked up I fucked up by not making that funnier The children who are regularly abused now needing to be abused severely and put in the hospital

So no, I thank you for that and I I apologize that I wasn't more prepared to take that and run with it Because there's so many directions that I could have gone to make that funny And I I appreciate the way you brought that out. It's true You know So moving on but that's okay. You you're funny enough on the show Where people they don't want more funny out of you They get enough funny out of you. Sometimes they want you to have a fun fact about, you know, the hospitalization rate of abuse children

But it's a good point what that you make is the kids during the quarantine run their mouth And some of them need to be dealt with not raped but beaten No, obviously we don't we don't believe that these are jokes and I know that see in five years They're gonna get the podcast and when I call my parents pedophiles or when I say the kids need to get beaten

In five years, it's just go or before that. They're just gonna be videos on twitter and people could be like see See, I mean We're losing the whole idea of jokes And that things are a joke. You know what I mean Like chrysalis was doing a bit He's doing a bit And we've lost the idea of that

He was just doing a bit. He's gone. Hey, what are you in high school? Show me a dits lol. It's a bit He's doing a joke. It's uh now. It's a performance art piece Yes, because it's not in the comedy club But many great artists Andy Kaufman and others Tested the limits of art and that is what chris was doing He was doing a performance art piece where he was seeing what it would be like to kind of be a pedophile He was saying if I kind of if I were to ask a high schooler What would this be like and I he was probably doing it to raise awareness

because it is a problem And that's what he was doing. He was probably doing it like that But we've lost the ability to take a joke in this country No one can get get the idea of what a bit is He was doing it. It was a gag He was being a buffoon He was being a clown his bit

Was he would message a girl and if she was underage he'd go oh sad face And then you know a few days later be like are you still So are you still? It's a bit a joke Do you see what I mean? We're so crazy kevin space. He was kidding He was it was a joke like what? No one gets bits anymore Harvey Weinstein was it was a prank

He was trying to make the actresses feel comfortable By raping them Because they were many of them Maybe it was their first big movie and they were a little nervous And he said it would diffuse the tension if I if I pulled my dick out and wrestled this woman in a hotel room Do you see what I mean that we're losing our ability to to really process good material? Who did the best bit of the last century? O.J. Simpson

O.J. Simpson did the funniest joke ever He cut This is how funny he was He decapitated the mother of his children And a waiter As a as a bit and then got away with it The ultimate punchline set up A year later

Punch Not guilty. Yeah You want to talk a bit a bit So that's my worry My worry is that we are now involving the FBI In something that should just kind of be a laugh fest And You know

Obviously, I've not looked at the facts. I want to let everyone know that I've not looked at the facts about anything Um, it just you know, things seem to trend a certain way So I've made I've made I've made some jokes about the whole Delia situation You know Which is what you have to do, you know, but it is Shitty listen, if you're young and you're getting messaged online and asked for photos, it's like It's a fucked up thing if this is what really happened, right, right if this is really what happened I don't know what happened. I'm not, uh, detective

But I believe all women but not tower read But but except For her but all of the other ones And not one need a broad rec who accused bill clinton of rape I don't I don't believe her I don't believe her because what I know about the clintons is they're Beautiful people who

care About other people and wouldn't rape them Okay so That's where I'm at. We don't know the facts on this but there, you know, there are things that are not looking great And that's where we are landing on this is that things are not good All is not well From what I understand, you know

What are you gonna do? There I go, that's me leaving The plane goes I look down I gc china blows up los angeles What a fun season finale for the show China blows up la china

I mean these ddos attacks that are happening one of them happened in australia one of them happened in america People think it could be china. They're speculating. Maybe it's china Compromising all these systems Could it be china? I think so. Yeah, who hacks sony? Was that china? Yeah, I believe so or korea north korea Do you think that they're just there? These are little tests little stress tests on systems? I do I I've From what I've read china has tested, you know shooting down satellites things like that wiping out communication systems for like air force bases to talk to each other

Things like this. Yeah This is what they do. I mean they want it all china wants it all And they're gonna get it probably. Yeah Before I go, let me say this about the black lives matter movement Many of their things I agree with by the way, police reform blah blah blah. We all know this Be a little skeptical Of a movement where a lot of the leaders are avowed marxists in their own words They say that but it's being supported by jp morgan and city bank and all these big corporations

Be a little skeptical of that be a little skeptical of a lot of corporations embracing a movement that should be 100 antithetical to what those people believe Um, I'm not a marxist and I don't agree with that. However, I have friends that are and I I Understand their you know critique of capitalism. I think it's very valid Um, I don't think any of their solutions or the majority of their solutions are valid, but When you start thinking about why corporations are on board with this movement and why hollywood people are on board with this movement um You start realizing that is this is this the way to usher people into an even worse

police state than the one that we were in before and in police state that where you have massive surveillance technology big tech You know, will the police be just new police potentially? I don't know. You know, I mean, this is Something to think about, you know, I mean, you know, the idea that Any of these corporations or any of these people that have millions and millions and tens of millions or hundreds of millions billions of dollars are going to You know, adopt some type of you know, an arco-communist reality is just not the case. However

Who knows where this will go and who knows where you know, where you know, what form This ends up taking and what freedoms you lose In the process of thinking you are You know Being a revolutionary what freedoms you're willing to give up and I think that that that becomes the real You know, we've seen that under the guise of public health people are willing to give up a lot of freedom I understand that I gave it up. I sat home. I said, hey

This is what we have to do um But then you saw how contact tracing was then used Against protesters, right tracing people's phones who they were with where they were then that was used against protesters keep Keep in mind That these types of things

aren't necessarily going away um You rarely get those freedoms back That you so either that you give up And I I think black lives matter has a lot of very valuable important things to say and they're they're right about a lot They're wrong about some things too in my estimation. Of course. I'm a white guy I'm not going to believe that I know a lot of black people that don't agree with everything they believe either but

Just beware of a protest movement that is supported By all of the big corporations and hollywood Beware of that a little bit at least be a little skeptical beyond guard a little bit Because that means that that movement's probably to some degree been co-opted And it's it's it's probably going to a place That might not be what the original intenders thought And and and who knows in the meantime

What freedoms you lose And my interest is in the freedom to speak freely You know, which I think is is on the chopping block That's going You know, I hope that's not the case But it certainly seems like it's the case And that's important to me. It should be important to you even if it's not how you make your living

It should be important to you You know, you should not be you should not be fired From your job for an expressing an opinion that is unpopular or that people have decided that black guys matter and jp Morgan chase have decided is the right opinion to have and if you have a different opinion You are fired from your job. That is not A value that I think is American or you know, uh, any You know, there's no fairness there to me

You know, I'm not I'm of course within reason You can't walk into your job every day and be like, I don't think it was six million or what but within reason If you if you know one guy I forget who it was. I was just talking to somebody about it Had a gun he said if any of these looters get up to my house, I'm gonna defend my property and he got fired and then dick wolf You know, big Hollywood producer was like, there's just unacceptable and And I mean, you know, dick wolf made all his money with fucking cop shows, which is hilarious, but like Right there, it's like you're well, you're losing your ability to speak if you're gonna loot you could say that people have freedom of speech But if they lose their entire life and they're socially

Ostracized and they're for saying something and by the way, not I'm gonna kill somebody not a threat Just saying I'm going to defend like he didn't single somebody out and go I'm gonna get him It's just saying I'm gonna defend my property if people come to try to destroy it I'm going to defend it as is my my right or what most people believe is a right and then the guy gets fired You go you wonder when does that end? When will that end? Will you always have the right opinion?

Will you always be one step ahead of the mob that's requiring you to have the right opinion? Will you never slip up? Is that all of these people that try to cancel other people? And they try to wield the power of this mob because that's what jp morgan's doing That's what all these major mega corporations are doing. They're like let's wheel the anger and use the anger of the mob and take it and make money funnel it into something commercial

and let's support certain things And we're gonna, you know pay lip service to the movement and then at the same time We're going to figure out a way to brand Whatever the hell we're doing and and and keep it Keep our branding consistent with the values of this movement even though what we're doing might not be

In line with what they want, you know You know, we might We'll be paying lip service to them and at the same time Doing things that Are not in line with you know, what people would consider reform So that's just what you always have to be skeptical. I I don't think we we we live in a time of religious belief where people are

Really fired up and a lot some of that is good passion is not A bad thing. It's something that's good. It's why a lot. It's those surfers found something to be passionate about and had great lives but You know instead of doing that Instead of doing the work to figure out what you are passionate about and where you see yourself and wait a lot of people are just basically like I am going to just adorn myself with slogans You know, I don't put BLM. I don't put any of that up

Because I don't need to put up signs I put the black square on instagram up because I thought everybody was doing that I didn't know what that was and we found out five minutes later. It was like the cia did it uh You know for whatever reason but I don't I'm not always putting that stuff out there because like I'm a human being Right. I'm not like a brand

It's like people act like they're starbucks like human beings are acting like they are Like there are people That are just putting out stuff every day almost like they are Afraid of they're like For far too long. You know this ansel elgor kid before he got cancelled you look at his instagram. He's like i'm spending the day educating myself

I'm spending the day reading and figuring out what I can do I Mean this is this is so they don't come get you how did it work godsel? How did it work? Did it not work? As the great charles groden and cliford said has something happened But it's it's it's just a quell the mob you go i'm spending my day educating myself myself

I'm gonna stop carving swastikas into my arm for the day I'm gonna start educating myself And figuring out what I can do and and I don't mean any of that because i'm going to the beach But i'm putting it on social media. Don't come for me. Please Don't That's what it is. You can do those things. You can just do those things But there's a weird vibe now where you walk down the street and you see blm and it's painted On the outside of a business and it's painted because they don't want to break through the window, right?

That's why it's painted there. It's just a strange Thing all I have to say I have to put these letters on the outside of my business unless something's gonna happen I got to put it out there and it's and that and that's odd to me and that that feeling Is strange where like you have to you have to agree to all of these things under the threat of violence And that that's being backed by mega corporations Something to think about Doesn't mean the police Are not out of control does not mean police do not need serious reforms doesn't mean you can't take some of their money and put it into

Uh things that will will will decrease inequality doesn't mean the elites of this country Aren't the real looters which they are Does it mean they haven't created this situation? by you know Fucking defunding everything and hollowing every institution out and creating a separate economic system and a separate justice system I mean all of that is true All of that is 100 true But I still feel very uncomfortable

With this idea that people can just be fired From their job and lose everything because they express an opinion You know that is pretty mainstream, which is like i'm gonna defend my property. It's a pretty mainstream opinion Well, no tim. That's not the real issue. The real issue is the the elites. Yeah, sure But if that was you and you lost your fucking job, that would be a real issue to you You know, I mean that's a fact You know, and I I could get accused all the time people are like, but are you saying that? That the sjw's have as much power as exxon mope. No

But that doesn't mean you can't criticize something that's absurd or that's it's going to an absurd place That's what i'm saying. I'm just it's uncomfortable It's uncomfortable to walk down the street and see boarded up stores with blm spray painted on the outside So that they don't get bricks through the window or they're not burned down This is why and I know some of the people that own these businesses. They're like, well, this is just what we gotta have up there It doesn't sit well with anybody that has any interest in civil society And if people don't have an interest in civil society and many of them don't If they don't have an interest in civil society, I just know that we're going to have a civil war and maybe you win and maybe you don't

But we're gonna have serious violence And uh, you know, it's and the state is gonna clamp down on everybody and that's when they introduce a police state a total surveillance state when we have Total chaos so the the forces that are marching us toward total chaos is what I was trying to get to The people that are bringing us towards total chaos on both sides, by the way The people that want that chaos that hunger for it that long for it. Are they so stupid? Do they think they're gonna win?

Or do some of those people know what will come next which will be A police state a surveillance state and the government will use this as an excuse To do a lot of things they've probably always wanted to do You know, and that that's when I when I look around I see that I see that We're heading towards a place where society is going to be even more closed

People are afraid to say anything And it's just a bad situation and if that's the only if we're if we don't speak To each other and we don't want to talk to each other the only thing left is violence and so many people right now Think that's a good idea They think it's just a time for violence And that we've exhausted all speech Okay Listen

That's fine. If you think that you believe that you you know You've given up on the whole idea of any type of society. You want to just get rid of it great, but Know what you're doing know that there will be a society that will emerge From the ruins of whatever happens and it will not it will be less free than it is now dramatically less free I don't think protesting is bad. I don't think economic boycotts are bad

I don't think putting pressure on the government is bad. I don't think any of that is bad. I think chaos Invites more chaos I think that'll ultimately the response to that will be Trump going full hitler or full dictator, you know and and having a a percentage of people in america on his side Because nobody wants chaos Nobody wants anarchy children do children don't want bedtimes and and you know, whatever and they want to you know

Eat candy for dinner, you know, and whatever You know, but most adults Don't want chaos I know it's not cool to say when the god Abolished the police, you know the same people that were saying it's saying abolish the police were uploading photos of bread Two months ago. They don't want chaos. They don't want anarchy. They were showing you they made a loaf of sourdough Two months ago and they were proud of it. They don't want anarchy. They're just too stupid to believe it's possible They think it's a game

They think it's a fun game and they can encourage people. They're not out thrown bricks They're at home tweeting and bacon bread So this idea that they want anarchy and chaos And and and it's just it's just kind of funny, right The types of people that are calling for no police and no order Are the people that would probably fare the worst In a situation with with no police and no order where you had literal vigilantes

You had militias you had warlords because it's going to be a power vacuum and who's going to fill a power vacuum, you know Who do you think is going to fill it? You don't think it's going to be filled it's going to be there's going to be order in society It's it's all about who's whose order it's going to be That's a fact, but so many people's country aren't adults You know when you're a teenager you're angsty. You're upset. You're depressed You're anxious and then you grow up and some people sometimes you grow up in an hour Sometimes you grow up in a day sometimes, you know, it depends, you know

But all growing up is is realizing that nobody cares about you that is all growing up is you realize no one really cares No one care I mean I used to left might leave my key At home all the time and then I'd get home and my dad wouldn't be home And I wouldn't have my key and I forgot to take it and my dad asked me five times If I had it and then I would sit outside my house to smoke cigarettes till my fucking dad came home and you know And eventually I just realized that like oh no one cares I'm an idiot

And I should just have checked before I left the house. I should have had my key. I should have prepared Whatever could be your homework could could be whatever All being an adult is is realizing that your feelings don't really matter That the only things that really matters is how you carry yourself in the world, right? Does it matter how you're feeling inside or what's upsetting you? Does it matter what your past is or where you came from? It really matters like How you carry yourself in the world despite all of those things And adults realize that and then they look back at themselves as a teenager. They were like, how was it cunt?

How does it cunt for no reason? Nobody understood me? You don't get you wouldn't get it You don't understand what it's like to grow up in the suburbs and be white And want people to understand you and then you grow up and you go, oh no one gives a fuck About me No one cares About me at all. I don't I don't have that many friends and I don't need that many friends People over the age of 30 with large groups of friends. I've said it before on this show. They're mentally unwell

They're mentally unwell If you're over 30 and you have 15 close friends, you belong in an asylum Because you don't have to I mean, you it's just crazy. It's crazy Having 15 close friends is is is is somebody who's in high school, right? You know what I mean? So The whole thing is when you look at social media, we've all kind of regressed We're children We're children everybody's a child now everybody's into feelings

and and themselves and There's no There's no idea that no one cares City bank doesn't catch if you morgan doesn't care so making these people you know put up your iconography or

Put up letters you find comforting or put up a pride flag Or whatever they can do the to present the optics that they're your ally Is utterly meaningless Fatuous means nothing And you would know that how do you grown up? You would know that how do you grown up? That's the reality and if you were a grown up you would do grown up things

You know and if you still want to be a teenager If you still want to be a teenager you can go on twitter You can fucking tweet You can fucking do whatever you want to do You know you could do everything to to make yourself feel good in the moment It's true if you want to act Like a 16 year old You can do all of those things

And I even know I know a guy That won't hold that against you If you're a teenager I know somebody That will hear you out And give you the time of day If you're a passionate

Youngster But everybody else grow up