The Tim Dillon Show - 208: 208 - Let's Have A Party

Episode Date: July 12, 2020

Tim talks a big party he's going to throw, why he loves AOC so much, a yummy baked beans controversy, and why a corporate steakhouse is in trouble. Bonus Episodes every week: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow Merch: https://www.bonfire.com/store/the-tim-dillon-show/ Please Support Our Sponsors: WALLETS - http://www.ridge.com/tim to get 10% off a ridge wallet. UNDERWEAR - https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ and order with PROMO CODE Tim to get 20% off your first order VPN - https://www.expressvpn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Tim Dillon show everybody summer in full swing here. The kids are at camp. No, they're not Camps are closed. They're out overthrowing the government. They're fine. They're making their own fun They're making their own fun. Get a Chardonnay and go by the pool. You deserve it You deserve it. Get some salt water some fresh air that's salt sea air take a nice deep breath hat make some s'mores Throw a burger on that grill. I left the desert today to come to Los Angeles to record and

In the it's about a two-hour drive and in the time I had left the desert to when I got here a viral human trafficking conspiracy was born Isn't that 2020 for you? Isn't that 2020 When I left the desert Wayfair Was just an overpriced shitty Boston based You know online retailer halfway through my drive. I Found out they were potentially selling overpriced cabinets named after human trafficking victims

about 72,000 people had tweeted about it on Twitter and Newsweek it's prompting newsweek and other Media outlets to contact Wayfair and get a response Wayfair of course claims that These cabinets are not placeholders for missing children, but they are Industrial storage cabinets that are priced accurately. I mean these cabinets are 13 14 15 thousand dollars But it is very creepy the names of the cabinets are missing girls Like it says Samaya five shelf Yoritsa storage cabinet what what is that?

but Somebody on Twitter said these are placeholders They're priced very high because they're not supposed to be sold yet and that the names you could find almost any name because Similar to the way they sell key chains with everybody's name on it. They are trying to establish some type of Um Database with names or something. I don't understand online commerce that much But it is a little creepy that you can find, you know, and they're doing it with pillows, too

Where you can find a pillow that's being sold for ten thousand dollars And then next to the pillow is the name of somebody who went missing that's strange Supposedly if you put in the serial numbers to these ads it goes to a Russian Goes to Yandex, which is a Russian search engine and you get pictures of children. However This supposedly you can do that literally with any group of numbers will take you to Yandex and to Pictures of children. That's nice. Isn't it any group of numbers apparently leads you to I inappropriate pictures of children on the Russian search engine Yandex So isn't that 2020 for you? You leave the house

You leave the and you're in a viral human trafficking conspiracy on the way Down to Los Angeles. You can't even take a summer drive Without falling into a rabbit hole of human trafficking. You just can't do it Don't even try to do it. You won't be successful. How are you supposed to enjoy the summer? When every way you turn as a human trafficking conspiracy and some of them are pretty fucking creepy and maybe they're weird I don't know what's going on I'm asking questions These are fucking creepy

Coincidences now somebody on Twitter was trying to explain it to me and Maybe they're right. I don't know. I asked questions. I withhold judgment because a lot of people on Twitter are wrong They are wrong About a lot of things I Just asked a question. I said why is Wayfarer selling $10,000 cabinets named after girls who've gone missing and Why when they're a question? Are they removing all of those items from their online store and And Somebody responded the cabinets have serial numbers that bring up suspect images of kids when plugged into sketchy rush and search engine

But the same person said basically all of the names Next to the cabinet you could pretty pretty much find any name Because they're trying to build some database with names direct marketing whatever Who knows? I just know it's summer And it's just you got to just go out there and enjoy some some fun summer activities Can't be cooped up with a human trafficking conspiracy for the entire summer just can't do it got to get out there and enjoy yourself Go out to that, you know beach

Maybe open. I don't know if it's open or not. I I've rented a house for two months in the desert and the desert, you know hundred and ten degrees every day a lot of UV light Coronavirus not living many things not living The only thing that can live there is gays and Jews and tarantulas. Those are the only things that survive lizards Jews and gays not saying the Jews are lizards. Don't go and play with the words Saying those are the communities that have thrived in the desert historically But I'm out there and I've got a nice home there for two months and a friend of mine called me goes you should have a party

You can have a party what? Party forget coronavirus forget the pandemic forget that somebody ate a bat or a Chinese nano robot escaped from the defense Biodefense lab in Wuhan level 4 security. Whatever forget all of that I'm 35 what Party am I gonna have? What gathering of people would be appropriate at my age given the current climate of the world?

Parties are supposed to end They're fun in the tiktok days when you're in your late teens in your early 20s your mid 20s party on fuck. Yeah Be your pond. Let's get fucked up. Blast the music. We're gonna live forever Have you seen or been to a party where people are in their mid 30s? It is a nightmare it is a nightmare of Anxiety ridden people walking around all armed with statistics like their cable news anchors trying to get their point of view out It's an absolute utter Nightmare to have a gathering of people at your home when they're in their mid 30s

Because there's two option number one if it starts to go the route of like everyone's really hammered and dancing and having fun It's even worse Because you're looking at all these people and you're like God these people are on the brink if you ever see somebody in their mid or late 30s Really partying really fucked up Really getting into it. It means they're on the brink It means you're about to get in their car and drive it into a school bus And if they're not fucked up and drinking they're like They're like feeling each other out seeing who's done what with their life

It's this weird anxious Jockeying for position. How are you doing? How are they doing? And now everybody's all about politics. Everybody wants to talk about politics If you invite them into your home, they want to talk about politics for hours and hours on end They don't want to shut up. They come armed with it with with uh talking points So while you're cooking a burger you listen to your friend's girlfriend rattle off statistics about unemployment You don't need this. This isn't fun. There are no parties anymore Go away

Everybody talks about well wearing masks. Uh, not wearing masks. What about your unhealthy addiction to people? How about that? How about your disgusting? and Filthy need to be around other people all the time. That is the problem. Forget the mask Don't wear the mask and leave everyone else alone It is your fucking need to be in a group of people all the time that is impoverishing this country you You can't be alone. You can't be uh in a relationship. You can't get a hobby. You can't do something

Without anybody else. You need to be in groups of people talking about what movies stay home Or go somewhere alone A party It'd be my worst nightmare A party of people In my backyard that i've rented to be alone and sit out in the desert and die That's what you pay for You pay to get the fuck away. It's end times. We're gonna have an event

We're gonna grill hot dogs And talk about uh anarchists in the streets There's nothing to do anymore folks get laid get food and get away The problem with this country is nobody can nobody can be alone for five seconds That's why coronavirus is spreading all over the place because nobody has to nobody can just sit Everybody has to be in a large group of people I don't want these people in my home I don't want them coming in

Forget their disease their vectors of disease forget all of that. I don't want their I don't want to be bombarded by their thoughts When you're on the phone with somebody you can get away go i gotta take a shower i gotta go call drop sorry Easy boom they're they're gone The phone ends they're gone. It was like they were never there if they're at your property It the whole the whole things A fucking process of getting them in and then getting them out again Oh good. No, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What were you saying? Yeah, what were you saying about the cops? You know racism? Yeah, go on about that. Was that?

Yeah, I know the potato sounds good and what were you saying about the uh, the prison industrial complex, right? Right, right? I enjoy the party party time Right now, I understand drug legalization. No, we do need it. I'd be right. No, yeah No, we need a multilateral coalition. Yeah pickles, please. I want pickles on that How about no? How about no keep them at bay Keep them at bay Do a nice little summer alone. I'm telling you go go get a shack somewhere in shock oysters

For three months alone read a book All the shows are canceled by the way all my august shows are canceled salt lake, uh, ontario And cleveland sorry about that. It's the way it is those counties are are spiking. I'm not gonna go I don't know if those clubs are gonna be open, but I'm not gonna promote shows confidently Uh, where I think there's a good possibility they won't happen So when I go back on the road, I'm gonna go back on the road with a new tour name Dates that I know are actually gonna happen and it's gonna be an official thing. It's not gonna be

Uh, like dipping my toe in the water and coming out and also comedy Only works if you're doing it So if I'm not getting up every night at the comedy store and I'm not working the improv and I'm not working with these other clubs I'm not I'm not, you know in in the right type of shape comedically That I need to be in so it's not fair To ask you to pay for tickets now I know a lot of people are performing on porches and the backs of pickup trucks

And outside diners in parking lots because they are mentally ill This is unmasked a lot of people as insane Okay, heroin addicts Have more dignity than comedians right now performing in parking lots. It's the fact It is a bad look. It is fucking tragic Go on stop with the imaginary gay keeper that's keeping you from succeeding Go online all these female comics who I want the best for I want the best for I don't harass you. I don't try to sleep with you. I talked to

very few of you Only millionaires that's the rule because I don't want to harass anyone sexually So What I do many of them go online and they're like I wonder if when comedy comes back to gate capers They're gonna be the same The gate keeper is your phone. It's the internet What's going on is when you're about to do something funny online Does a man come in and smack the phone out of your hand?

Is that what's happening because that might be a bigger problem? That's a home invasion. That could be battery But I think maybe some of you just aren't being that funny And you're angry because in your head there's an imaginary person That's keeping you from the level of fame you feel you should rightly have Take some responsibility for your own life and do something enjoyable Do something for christ one fucking time that other people enjoy Try that Try it. Just try it. It might be a bountiful. It might yield you some real good results

Just for once in your fucking life Do something that someone else giggles at And perhaps that will take you to the the place you want to go. I don't know I'm just throwing out life advice because I wanted the best for everybody. That's not only female comics Male comics feel that way too. We all know male comics are losers. We all know that Trust me if you doubt that you can see I'm performing right now You know on on a literal pile of compost. We get it But I just this was specifically I saw a female comedian tweet that about the gatekeepers. Everybody's with the gatekeepers

There are no gatekeepers Go online and figure it out or don't It's not it's not It's nobody else's fault. You don't get you know cameron caskey one of the children who Uh, we are listening to now, uh because they were involved in the parkland melee Uh cameron caskey, uh go to his pinned tweet This is amazing His pinned tweet is this cameron caskey again. He goes. I've always wondered what a quote real job is when people tell artists

Slash creative people to get one. I think I've boiled it down to a job. You do not enjoy correct Yes Get a job that you don't enjoy until you can have a job that you do enjoy That is pretty fucking simple cameron We all can't pay for a bunch of delusional psychopaths who think they're creative people If I thought I was a model It would be wrong of me to force society to subsidize that pursuit

It would be wrong I think I've boiled it down to a job. You do not enjoy correct. You do not have a right to enjoy your job Okay, that's not part of the the game here I just want to enjoy my job I just want to make a difference and enjoy my job I was watching that show and this underscores what's wrong with that generation of zoomers is that it's it's some of the right ideas and absolutely

none of the fucking grit And and and determination that you would need to make any of those ideas a reality at any point And and and this is just a problem with that generation And I don't want to sound like that guy. I don't want to be like that guy. That's why I don't shit on tiktok I don't shit on tiktok Because it's not my place To shit on tiktok tiktok is uh 19 year old kids. They're jumping around their debt. Do I get it? No

Do I understand why people are are lip syncing? Uh songs that other people wrote or they're lip syncing donald trump and hollywood is saying that they are Uh a genius. I don't get it. I'm confused But I don't shit on it constantly because nobody needs a fat 35 year old Shitting on what kids are doing. This is just what kids are doing Okay, and a lot of my friends are like so excited about the tiktok band And All these like failed comedians are like oh the tiktok band

The tiktok band ha ha kids. It's like those kids never have to work again for a day in their life Like the tiktok kids that really established themselves on that platform Have so much money That they don't have to do anything. They have six Figure deals, maybe seven figure with brands. They have endorsements Uh, they're good They're good Like one of my friends from long island said kill those tiktok kids. They're gonna have to get jobs at mcdonald's

I'm like no, I don't think so many of them have more money than you will ever see in your entire life This is the same friend who was asked me if I was getting unemployment. I'm like we're doing okay The show is doing okay. They don't understand what podcasts are in long island. They have no idea. They'll figure that out in 10 years I'm like we have a podcast. It's doing well. What are you doing? You can't perform So you get do you get the unemployment? Like yeah, we don't I don't need it Oh these tiktok kids These tiktok kids they they're gonna learn a lesson. Yeah, they're gonna learn a lesson, huh? Many of them have already learned the lesson and is called they are rich

And some of them will migrate to some other platform where they'll do more meaningless horseshit and make more money This this the very childish notion That people seem to have that it all evens out That's my favorite childish notion that people have. Yeah, it all evens out in the end Uh, no, it doesn't In fact, statistically, it does not that's a case you could win in court provably, it does not all even out in the end uh, no

No mediocre talentless hacks thrive make millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars Talented people die alone in the street like dogs and somewhere in the middle You figure out where you can etch out a career But this whole thing like it even it just evens out in the end These tiktokers are gonna be at mcdonald's Yeah, I I bet you're gonna work at mcdonald's before they do Trust me I can't you know, I can't understand I didn't start a tiktok

people upload Clips from this podcast and put them on tiktok. I did not start one I did not really go on snapchat. I had an account for a minute and I didn't use it I didn't go on vine I I don't always jump on the new app Some people do some people get a a following doing that christu lea got a following on vine before he moved to Um

Stand up and and whatnot um I'm not saying him because it's I'm saying he got a following on vine. What do you want me to do? um But I I haven't gone on those apps and I and I stay away from those apps because I just don't I don't if if something doesn't strike me immediately as funny I'm not going to do it. Nothing really on tiktok is that funny other than just crazy people like random crazy people They're funny

But you know people with the dancing is not you know, it's just not funny Shut it all down If you're gonna ban tiktok get rid of all that ban twitter ban facebook instagram snapchat Band it all Let's go back to fighting with our families people that we know I'm for it. I'm for a social media ban if we're gonna ban tiktok because it's chinese spyware Let's ban them all because they're american spyware

Get them all What is it for I I like mark? I like mark suckerberg to spy on me and not these goddamn chinese I want to get spied on by mark suckerberg that creepy alien I want him to sell my information not these chai comms Chinese communism is is evil, but I like the american surveillance state just fine. Thank you very much I like my surveillance american Yeah, great Of course very happy again that the the show is brought to you again this week by fucked

Dot com which is decided to send these things to us To show to you which is great. I am a skateboarder Many of you don't know that about me, but and what's cool about this is actually cool uh there's a a um A syringe going into a rat and the rat says oh shit not another fucking test Which is kind of fun

So that is fun I imagine that as as a person and that's bill gates see We kid bill, uh, but i'm a big skateboarder. I love skateboarding um dad venez beach and skate park with my uh Friends, uh, it's just silk how life has grown up skating surfing Then there's this bandana. Can you open that? um They sent us a bandana too, which is great and the bandana

Is for this is for the crypts. There's the bloods and the crypts the crypts are uh blue and this is uh The bandana Uh sex cannabis alcohol raspberry snapple bruce lee cream slices linda lovelace street fighter lsd masturbation It's a bunch of cool things on this and uh So I mean i'm happy with that and then they have this so

You know This is hype beast culture and uh You know, I mean it's every every every uh every moment of my life has been on a skate lived on a skateboard Every single moment of my life every meaningful thing that's ever happened to me I've been skating Love skaters love everything about them Love surfers Love people that wear bandanas. They're some of my favorite people

um you know white guys with dreadlocks Sitting in venice beach wearing bandanas skateboarding many of them in their late late 40s Love those people there's there needs to be more of them and um

So if you go to fuck.com, which is a site where they sell this stuff Um, it's sold out. They sell out all the time because people want this stuff, you know, people really like it. They get into it Um, there's no promo codes. No free shipping. No discounts. I mean, that's how elite this stuff is But you can subscribe to the newsletter and follow on ig or twitter. They have some cool stuff on their website And we asked them to send us some of it and then this is what happened. So But I would still go to their website because there is some really cool stuff. Maybe we'll in the future Make some cool stuff with them. I don't know. I mean

Where are the wheels? They don't they don't come with the wheels. That's just the deck and then you put whatever kind of wheels you want on it Oh, I see. I do like I do like the rat. Yeah, it's cool getting the syringe I almost wish that was on the front, but I guess he can't I guess the cooler stuff always goes Every skateboard I had was was a board the tony hawk gave to me because he thought that I was going to be the biggest name in skating And it's kind of a cool joke and a twist that I am not the biggest name in skating but I

What I did was important for the culture So if you go to their website, which is fucked.com just sign up for the newsletter What is fucked fucked is a company? You know it's company sell shirts and skateboards and cool stuff. I mean, you know People buy this and then they resell it a lot of kids making money reselling fucked because of the high resale value Noon store opening equals wall street opening bell for our buyers. So they're buyers When when when that store opens at noon Everybody rushes to it

And if you buy a thing You probably sell it for for a big markup, right? Is that what this is? Yeah So you sell it for a big markup and how cool is that? Why not? You know So this is not what this is not one of those things where you're I'm like, hey guys Here's how to get it for less money. This is a great way to maybe get into the online e-commerce market by buying, uh, bandanas And then reselling them You know and you could strategize like a lot of people figure out how to strategize on how to on how to cop an item

cop in Quotations meaning not the guy who shoots the unarmed black person cop meaning just to get Uh items while everyone else is in a frenzy Getting cartjacked by supposed bots Everybody complains that the bots jacked them. But what really happened was they lack strategy And they went in and got fucked over. You don't want to do that you can figure out This is you know in all in all seriousness. This might be one of the only jobs left

Is buying these things and then selling them to like rich kids So it might not be a bad idea Sounds fun. Maybe I'll do it live in the air one day. We should do that live in the air. Yeah, we'll go into the fucked Because these people don't know me I I I know beasts I know beasts those those fucking little kids. I used to live up the house. I'll grab a few of the beasts High beasts are like, what are they like? They're like 12. They don't speak They just have they just have these big big sneakers and like hats

And they just stand on a line and they wait to get in To these stores So I'll just grab a few of them and give them like Adderall or something and fucking have them just run this whole table Yeah, have them run the table Um, but we should do that live we should literally go get a few beasts And then and then go to the and go on to the fuck store and tell have them show us how to do it The high beast they just stand there. They don't say anything Fascinating type of person. They don't really talk. They just stand in a line. They're all very like they're like scared

They're just like running through in their head what could happen It's like before I get on stage to just stand up or before like, you know A runner or swimmer you're on the starting block You get it ready to go these people are thinking about that but on the other end of that bell is shopping And they're like, how do I shop effectively? They want to make sure it's fucking crazy We've it really is consumerism on a level that is It's amazing when you see people with that level of dedication

Standing in the street getting ready and it's like and they're off. Here they go. Here they go. Here we go All right, we got we got a little white one with an Asian one They're working the back of the store and then we got one coming to the side We got one whose father works at paramount and he's having an affair and he dropped the kid off two hours ago That's we got and then we got another one coming in his mother dropped him off As long as he's not doing drugs, she's happy and she encourages this because he's learning about the internet. All right. Here we go We got another one coming now It really is you could call it like a horse race when these little bums going to supreme

It's insane It is in uh sane Um while we are talking about companies Dickey's barbecue pit in Rancho Mirage is running a human trafficking ring That is neither here nor there Go to fucked dot com f u c t dot com Okay, and uh a lot of kids making money reselling the fucked merch because of high resale value The fucked pop-up got shut down by the po police That's how hot this shit is

The beasts love it. It is their life. It is why they exist on earth Is to go in and to get this cool shit. They do have some cool bin Laden themed Clothing which I like I like that So go to fucked.com and is there a promo code or anything? Just sign up for the website Sign up for the newsletter. We did that you could read the newsletter. I'm interested in this culture Get interested in it. It's fun. Why not even if you're Older and you can't relate to it Understand what's going on out there because there was some real economic opportunity is arbitrage. This is arbitrage

okay You might not be able to get into the natural gas market in Kazakhstan, but Maybe you could get a few bandanas and flip them All right fucked.com These these are the dumbest like if you if you if you know a dumb person You can I can I can tell you the three things you're gonna say this week TikTok is Chinese spyware. That's what dumb people say because we've all known that for months They'll say something about glane Maxwell again dumb people. We've known all about that for months

I don't know what to tell you I'm so tired of talking about glane Maxwell. I'm gonna fucking kill her at this point Stop asking me about I know as much as you we're waiting and watching together. Isn't that the fun of it? No, nothing's gonna happen. Nobody's going to jail. The royal family is not gonna fall It's not going to be uh, you know an unmasking of every elite pedophile in the in the world. Sadly, maybe you know You know people like, oh, I don't know. It's 2020. It's like well sure, but I'm just skeptical about that, you know I'm just skeptical because I've been waiting for that and everything else for 20 years I've been waiting here for 20 years for anybody to get

Caught doing anything Again, what whatever you want drug running Terrorism, I mean literally anything you want anytime. We've ever been lied to I've been waiting for Any comeuppance at all and nobody I mean nothing People just don't care after a while the Q and on people aren't gonna care They're already trying to get rid of trump the supreme court ruled That he's not above the law and then he's got to put out his tax returns money has turned on trump

Money for a while was riding with him because everybody's 401ks are fat. The economy was okay He was navigating us. He kept us out a few wars. They had people were kind of like, okay um You know now they're dumping him they're dumping him because the economy the response to this pandemic the economy is just in a state of of Just it's like when you when you're when a wave smashes you into the The sand and you keep trying to get up and then the wave keeps hitting you and keeps hitting you

That's the economy right now restaurants are opening Buying a bunch of food then having to throw it out and closing again and so Money and the suburbs I talked to a lot of people on the suburbs. They're starting to sour on trump too Because they're going this is not good. They're like, this is not good Trump will keep his hardcore supporters And I mean biden is a corpse So the only thing that might turn this around is a debate where biden

you know Is is in such a state state of cognitive decline That he has to be taken out of the race But other than that trump is in trouble. He's in deep trouble um Because I think the institutional Money and even the top republicans. I think they're saying like okay Oh, we've had enough

We've had enough here You've had your fun You've had your fun We have the pandemic and the civil war and the unrest And americans can now not travel anywhere. They can't leave the country. So um Thank you for coming. We appreciate it Uh, we did have fun. There were some moments of genuine levity. We enjoyed it You you seem to be enjoying it at a at a few points as well, sir

But now I think it's time to move on and uh go back to someone boring and half dead And we can all agree that joe biden is boring and half dead And that's what we need to go. We need to go back to where every situation in life is not a 24 hour cable news show Where a conversation with my aunt is not a 24 hour cable news show Where I have to have statistics and talking points every time she picks up the phone and I'm like, well actually In texas the hospitalization Um, it's decline, but the death is we can't do it. We can't go on like this forever We have to go back to something

That's more like normalcy. We have we can't do it People are exhausted Everybody you know now is is a pundit Politics is for losers Haven't we explained that? Is could that not be more clear to you? Every now and then in politics somebody gets in who's like a good-looking winner And then they become the president and then they try to change things and then they get shot in the head while

Him and his wife drive through Dallas But for the most part the people that write about politics the people that obsess About politics all they are losers. They cannot get laid. They have no friends. They don't make any money They have zero capital anywhere in their life financial social and they spend their time figuring out why Why am I a loser? And then that leads them down whatever rabbit hole whichever wherever they're gonna go And they're just losers. Nobody wants to be these people. You don't So we need we need to get away

From the idea that like people should be consumed all day with with their Political identity. There's more to life. There is more to life than politics truly Not saying you you shouldn't fight for things you believe in but you're also not fighting for anything you believe in You're pretending So there's more to life go out Take a bunch of shrooms sit on a hill have a good grilled cheese sandwich Pay someone to jerk you off at a bus stop. I don't know. It's not my business But there's got to be more to life

than debating obscure German philosophers and we know what you're doing there or fucking you know Talking about critical race theory. I'm sick of the free speech to bam sick of that I'm sick of the cancel culture horseshit On both sides. I'm I'm I'm I'm sick of Idiots like Ecasio-Cortez being like real cancel culture effects anti-imperialists and palestinian advocates and I'm like bitch. You don't think google and fucking facebook are gonna censor them You don't think they're gonna censor palestinian advocate. What do you what is wrong with you?

Bitch, weren't you fucking saying you were Jewish the other day? She pull up that clip where AOC. I don't know if you can even find it She's talking to some group and she says she's a little Jewish. So it's like cut it out AOC Yeah, welcome to the tribe AOC's Jewish background like can we stop? Yeah, she's she's she went and she was talking to I think a Jewish group and and she says, um You know play this clip here this fraud People don't know about

One of the things that we discovered about ourselves is that very a very very long time ago generations and generations ago My family consisted of Sephardic Jews And it is I do it Like she's chewing it up She's like, you see he's I stencil. He's stencil. These people are frauds What is wrong with you? They are actors. They are frauds

She's claiming to be a bagel And then she's going to hang it out with Ilan Omar and reading minecraft. They don't believe in anything They're frauds You people put your stock because she's hot if she looked like me She'd be another loser socialist in a basement right now talking about kapital But she looks like her so she's on television every 36 seconds Let's not get it twisted She's full of shit. She's in front of a Jewish audience and all of a sudden it's Jews and then the next time she talks

It's like it's about the palestinian advent It they it's stop it You're gonna let these people run your life You're on earth for a certain amount of time and you're investing in that You're investing in this These are the types of people you're investing in Or trump who say dancing with Epstein like this for 30 years and then decides that he doesn't know who he is These are the people that you're gonna spend your time investing in

What what kind of Perpetual state of fucking childhood Peter Pan syndrome is this Where you spend your entire fucking life listening to these goons All the fuck they want to do is get power and you give it to them so easily They all thrive on attention. She then complains about Cancel culture doesn't exist. She's like, I've got a white supremacist Network Shitting on me every day. That's what she said on her twitter. You know, I've got a white supremacist now

She goes I've got a cable network And a white supremacist tv host that uh and all of their fans threaten me with death and everything like that Okay, and I want to say something it is it is fine here I'll tell you exactly what she wrote she goes I have an entire tv network dedicated to stoking hatred of me a white supremacist with a popular network show Regularly distorts me. This is fucked up. Do you know what she's talking about? She's talking about hg tv That attacks this woman constantly go to hg tv's website right now

hg tv Has engaged in a pretty sick white supremacist campaign Against aoc it is disgusting And I don't want to be a part of it anymore and if you watch hg tv You're part of the fucking pop. Please stop doing screenshots at the audience getting here. Jesus fucking christ Look at the lineup of shows on this this fucking dog whistle white go to shows, please Can you handle that go to shows? What's on tonight

It's all white supremacist television all they talk about is houses You know who owns houses white people and they bring decorators in to make them look even more white Okay, let's my lottery dream home. Let's look at the let's look at the fucking Let's look at the titles of the shows Utah mountain dream home Huh Nellie and Pablo were married for just a few months. I bet Pablo is white

Nellie and Pablo were married for just a few months when they won one million dollars in the wyoming powerball Now the wyoming powerball is run by the clan Now they're gonna afford their dream home in the mountains of utah Diverse and they're looking for places picking up for their whole extended family militia Interior designer David Bromstad white supremacist joins the couple in their house hunt Along with their teenage niece Shania who has some ideas about what kind of house is suitable for her millionaire relatives Oh, I bet Shania has ideas This is the network

That has been attacking AOC Since she declared her candidacy to run and it's a little disgusting and I sympathize with her I sympathize with her Who is the white supremacist host? That she's talking about on hg tv. I'm trying to find out who it is Is it the property brothers? Is it david bromstad. Yeah, this is yet He is the host of his own television show color splash. What?

with david bromstad As well as color splash miami where they just you know what that show is They they go up to people they go what color do you like and they go what and then they go too late and then ice puts them in a van That's color splash miami It's called ice puts you in a van He also hosts hg tv is my lottery dream home in which he helps the lottery winners See this is funny because obviously i'm trying to kid around because I know the aoc is talking about fox news And i'm saying she's talking about hg tv

But what's even funnier about this is there is actually a show ben. Why do you why do you always? Fuck up. Stop touching it. If i'm talking about something. Why are you clicking off what i'm talking about? If this is your one thing here, please jesus christ Um ben was working at a pet store two years ago and he's gonna go back there He's gonna go back to getting people fucking kibbles and bits stop touching the fucking computer christ He also hosts hg tv is my lottery dream home in which he helps local lottery winners find their dream real estate That's how bad things have gotten

That they literally have to go to lottery winners now because no one has any money to buy Any property so it's like david bromstad is is now going to be showing lottery winners How to buy a property because these are like garbage white trailer trash Who want to scratch off and now this guy's gonna take them around and help them get a lake house? They've probably got nine years left to live and david bromstad Is going to show them how to get a property my lottery dream home That's great. It'll be my lottery leg soon Dr. David helps you choose your leg

Congratulations, you get a new leg People are going to sit home and eat popcorn and watch other people get operations My lottery kidney next on hg tv my lottery pancreas Or you get an operation you won the lotto you're entitled to a life-saving operation And we're all going to cheer and go isn't that great? Isn't that phenomenal? But aoc is just a fucking i mean listen man. I respect the hustle. I don't hate her. I respect the hustle I respect what she's about, but she's uh full of shit Hopefully you are uh voting for us on tournament of laughs

A show we are embarrassed to be taking a part of And uh an omen about what is to come on network television I mean tournament of laughs is is really the worst thing i've ever seen and that is saying something I mean it is terrible and it reveals how stand-up comedians Really outside of stand-up the majority of them have absolutely no talent and should be kept in their home By an armed guard So many of them don't understand what sketches are They don't get it. They don't understand the concept of a sketch or the concept of doing something funny outside of

Standing on a stage getting draw, you know being drunk on a stage and asking somebody in the front row if they like black dick Which is again the that is the you know, that is the trade of many stand-up comedians. That's their act Yeah, you have a fucked up. You have a you like black dick You have a men with a black guy So now that they can't do that although I imagine some of them are trying Uh, they've submitted sketches to tournament of laughs, which is bad So if we win it's going to be very embarrassing vote for us or don't I don't care, but I think it would be fun if we win and then something I've said comes out

And truth is he has to take the prize away and the executives that green lit the show are homeless That would be very funny to me Only because I like goofy things. I like fun. That's all so if you want to vote for us on tournament of laughs you can and uh By all means you don't have to it is the summer. I know you've got a lot going on We're in what round three now. Yeah round three. Yeah, we're in round three imagine that name tournament of laughs Imagine the work that went into that name

Those hard-working executives going let's call it Tournament of laughs. How many zoom meetings did that take before they came up with tournament of laughs? tournament of no laughs more likely tournament of laugh because maybe there's one funny thing that happens So we're just submitting sketches. Most of you have already seen before and if we advance we'll have to make We'll have to make another sketch. We we we were driving around an area of the desert Thinking about a sketch to make and we drove down a long winding road

And there was a guy sitting on top of a mountain with a rifle and it looked like he was a lookout For something and I wanted to know if maybe there was a drug drop Something going on it did seem shady, right? Oh, yeah He had he had a brand new Uh, or new enough pickup truck and then a tent So if you didn't have the pickup truck, I'm like, oh, maybe this guy lives here In that tent But because he had that pickup truck and he had the tent

I imagine that he was trying to Maybe keep some things cool out of the sun And he was just sitting there with a rifle and then you got a look at him. What did he look like? He's half white half Hispanic wrangler jeans and he was sitting on the highest rock with the rifle and there's no animals So he's not hunting. There's nothing alive out there. Yeah, it's nothing to hunt. So it has to be I mean, we were what a mile down. It was a long I mean, there was a winding road. It was a private road. There was all kinds of signs And we stayed on it because I wanted to see the end. I wanted to see

Where it led to you know I wanted to see At the end of that where You know What's going on there? But but we were dissuaded by the fact that we we did see the guy we got to the gate We turned around and there was just a guy there and I think he had a rifle He did

interesting Anybody with any information on that? Call crime stoppers Can I just people to call crime stoppers? New York City now descending get some new york city stuff up. It is descending into a hellscape Very quickly apparently abolishing the police not the greatest idea Or cutting their funding which is essentially just cutting the amount of cops that are out at any given time Yes areas are often overpoliced and the police are poorly trained and many of them are idiots

We've discussed that at nauseam But a 19-year-old man was fairly shot and another man wounded early Sunday in brooklyn part of a violent weekend spree that saw 64 people shot In new york city 64 people shot over the weekend in new york city It surpassed 400 shootings in the first half of the year for the first time since 2016 And with 528 by the end of last month the 205 shootings in june were the highest for that month since 1996 so in a month. We're back to 1996

It'll be fun to see how far back we can go. Maybe we can go back to 86 maybe 76 But I mean you're erasing 20 years of progress there There's a lot of factors you have a you had a lockdown I mean The economy is in the worst place it's been and the stock market obviously is fake. So it's not reflecting that

But I mean the joblessness is is I mean every day look at the unemployment numbers in new york only just just google new york unemployment. I'm curious Because there's also An economic reality here that's is pretty unescapable Um, is that millions of percentage? So new york state in in may and april they have the numbers that we're looking at 15 percent of the state unemployed New york city 18 percent in may 15 percent in april

This is a big problem and then there's a wave of evictions coming to get on that just Look at the evictions. There are millions of people. I think there's seven million people in america that are about to be evicted I believe that Uh, if something isn't done to either extend. Yeah U. S looming evictions may soon make 28 million homeless. What did I say seven million? Well, that was a lofty estimate, wasn't it? What are rows? Let me take off my rose colored glasses 28 million people homeless in the u.s. If they don't do something if they don't freeze these evictions or you know Put out universal basic income

10 million people lost their homes in the great recession. So just to give you an idea This is almost triple that and we're just getting started So 10 million people lost their homes in the great race and I should have a party We should have a party Who's gonna bring the dip? Are you gonna bring the dip or should I have it? Let's grill some dogs 28 million americans being evicted one act. Are you gonna throw rager?

Let's throw rager Yeah, that's what we'll do. We'll go to all the 30 million foreclosed homes and have a rager in the backyard Go down a little bit here Ben's now afraid to touch a computer because I yelled at him But he has a habit of doing it where I'm talking about something and he just he moves on to the next thing Because he's lost interest in the thing that I'm talking about But his job is to anticipate what I'm going to do and stay there like Jamie Vernon. See Jamie Vernon is the standard for podcast producers

He's never wrong and now joe goes is a little joe goes At a more relaxed pace than I do my pace is frenetic So I need somebody who's a little bit more frenetic Jamie But joe also goes to a lot of different places and Jamie's very very quick But what ben does is ben just decides in the middle of the hctv thing that what that i'm done talking about it And that I have to move on because he's had enough Is that is that what happened? I thought you were going back to the aoc thing So I was trying to stay with you now. Why not why not open up two things at once? I did I went back right here

And then I jumped back. Yeah, okay, but you had to be yelled at To go back to what we were talking about. I was being very bad. He's He's just he's gotten very very comfortable and he doesn't understand that He needs to always focus and be at the top of his game He doesn't understand that every every minute. He thinks he's on a golf course. This isn't that situation here

Okay, you got to be tough to get a come for us at any minute these motherfuckers That was the eviction crisis brought on by the pandemic compared with the 2008 housing crisis This woman says we've never seen this extensive eviction in such a truncated amount of time in our history Just let okay, we can go just let the people stay in their homes The government should come in pay off the mortgage banks Pay off the homeowners And let them stay in their homes and for all you free market capitalist libertarian types That are against that type of action. I hope your home burns down

Because when 30 million people are in the street, I hope you enjoy what happens next Because I bet they're not going to talk about what went on at the mesas institute I bet they're going to have a little fun. I bet they're going to grab some weapons and have a little fun light it up Park it up If you make 30 million people homeless in this country, they're going to burn the country down and they won't be wrong So if you don't think it's necessary to help keep some of these people in their fucking houses You're out of your fucking mind and you you have a very short-sighted

View of things your theories don't matter at this point Soon it's going to go back to the old theories Where it's like if somebody clunks you in the head with something and you don't stop them You're dead Those were the old theories when a guy would just hit you in the head with a rock and take your wife and whatever you had Not the out of wife, you know my point, right? Those are the old theories that we're going to go back to and no amount of You know economic theory is going to stop that people are tired and they're really tired of debate

They're tired of debate You're going to get canceled the old-fashioned way Uh because people are going to start burning down The suburbs are just going to start burning down homes If you make 30 million people unemployed, I mean am I wrong? Maybe I'm wrong. I don't think I'm wrong That's coming It's coming we're heading towards civil war, but are you going to have anybody over? Are you going to have a party?

Do you do you want me to bring anything to the party? Yeah, a gun you bring a gun to the party and give it to me so I can keep it please And bring jobs for 30 million people If you're on the way to the party Bring jobs for 30 million people if you have them and some ice I had a goya beans when out and said he liked trump by the way Who the fuck eats goya beans? Mexicans, right? I've never eaten a goya bean in my life

Oh Yeah, they're all upset because the the CEO of goya said we're lucky to have a leader like trump Listen a lot of Latinos like trump. I don't know what to tell you I'm sure I've eaten goya beans that others have made for me. I just have never made a goya bean This is a Latino community issue completely. This has nothing to do with me I eat the bushes baked bean the grill the grilling bean The grill style. I don't eat the goya beans Okay, well, how do you make them? What do you put them in a bucket with lice all racist joke?

It's a racist joke. What'll it mean for my career? Um Yeah, goya. He loves trump. Let it be whatever After experiencing a tremendous surge of popularity during lockdown declared by the cut as boom time for beans Beans now face a devastating setback goya Notorious and beloved girls restore bean purveyor creator finely crafted legumes that you don't have to be on a waiting list for us Now the subject of a boycott after the company's ceo lavish praise on president trump Can we get the video up of him lavishing praise on trump?

By the way, if you think goya beans bad the guy that runs bushes baked beans is hiling hitler somewhere You You want to give him a white supremacist the guy that's running bushes baked beans is 100 percent at charles fill with a torch If the goya bean guy likes trump the bushes bean guy thinks trump is a liberal cock Mr. Goya All he said I don't think we need to get it all he said is that we are blessed to have a leader like trump Make your shopping decisions accordingly so hey all you poor maids that were buying goya beans now buy lobster Go to the butcher and get a nice cut of meat because that's how boycotts work

So next time remember when you get off the public bus and walk into the grocery store Don't purchase the 99 cent goya bean Go and get some Chilean sea bass And eat that instead Maybe goya beans are tasty I really never had I've had them. They're pretty bland. It's just a red kidney bean style bean A lot of protein fiber. What the fuck are we even talking about in this country? What do they do with them? They do they dress them up? They the the latin cultures must do something to them salt pepper

What is the CEO of bushes baked beans saying about trump? Jesus christ CEO of bushes baked beans is definitely like v gets invited to the rose garden. He's definitely gonna be like mr. President We are a white country I love my white brothers and sisters Duke come up here and then the dog gets up. Yeah, they're like duke. What's going on then the dog puts his little paw up I wouldn't I'm not gonna do the hitler thing because then they're gonna throw us off youtube They're not gonna understand that it's a joke

And then I'm gonna have to explain to a lawyer that I was pretending to be the duke duke the dog from bushes baked beans Saluting hitler in the rose garden and I'm gonna have to explain why that is We're gonna have to contact people and it's gonna go be a back and forth and be a real issue So i'm not gonna do that, but just imagine just imagine that how satirical and lovely that would be the dog from duke the dog from bushes Hiling hitler in the rose garden and Then the bushes people having to address that I have to go. Well

Duke is no longer our spokesperson We don't know what duke was doing and then a lot of people can be like I think duke was raising his hand to ask a question duke was just trying to ask a question And they're like no, it was pretty clear That duke was hiling hitler and they're like no, we don't think so duke was asking a question And that's what he was doing And then it would be a debate

But I wish everybody at goya foods the best and uh, you know, but a lot of latinos like trump I don't know what to tell you. I think he got 30 percent of the latino vote the latino latin x latin x latin x lat latin x Sounds like a slur latin x Latino support for trump is a problem for democrats. That was from february He got 28 percent of latino voters supported trump 30 percent support him now

30 percent of latinos are apparently white supremacists Man What are you gonna do folks? I extended my rental now i'm there to uh I'm in the desert till september 1st. We're gonna try to do something fun We'll do maybe a live live in the desert show or something I don't know like something something we want to get out of the studio for a minute. We're we're thinking about a studio redesign It's a little bleak. It's a little dark. We know we're trying to liven it up a little more fun a little more pep in our step

Uh, it's just been a little difficult to get everybody on the same page But uh, we're gonna we're gonna definitely put together uh a A little bit more of a vibrant color scheme Maybe we'll go to the guy from hgtv And he can he can show us that we should sign up. We should sign up That would be a great show

hgtv guys remake Nazi podcast studios What a fun show that would be And it's just like these guys from hgtv that come out and they're like So we really love the space and they're like what's the show about and then these like these guys in their basements are like politics It's about politics And they're like, oh, okay. It's like what about politics and they're like

It's about some of the things we believe not being true We'd like a lot of red because we've taken the red pill Yeah, Nazi podcasters Getting a makeover from hgtv They're dealing in questionable content hgtv is here to give their Nazi podcast a push in the right direction With just you just need a splash of color You just need a splash of color

You can't rant about the shapes of skulls in this musty den Make it nice Why not? I do like hgtv, you know, if you get into a real groove with hgtv You can really just kind of watch it because you just imagine yourself living a bunch of these different lives You know, you're like you can watch an afternoon of hgtv and basically say, I you know, what if I lived in in uh south carolina beach town What if I lived in charleston? You know, what if I lived in michigan by a lake and I was that guy

You know, what if I lived in the the desert of arizona? Like that's kind of what's fun about hgtv is like you get to see These real people go and see real houses, you know, this is not million dollar listing This is not like come see a stunning estate This is like real people that have choices and they and they live in these like somewhat decent communities And you kind of see what's out there you see what's out there and it's um They're not a sponsor. I'm just giving them a free ad but they but too much of it is now

I like just watching the show where they go in Too much of it now is like let's flip a house. It's like who gives a fuck Just show me things Stop telling me how to do something. Stop telling me. I'm gonna start flipping houses, please Just show me different things Show me things while I eat an oreo stop instructing me how to be a real estate investor Just get me in and out of the houses. Let me see shit. Let me see shit Let me get to know these two pieces of shit that are wandering around

You know winnetka illinois trying to find a property. Let's just get in and out here I don't I don't need for you to tell me how i'm going to take on a A six month long renovation project I don't need that HGTV but I do think it's fucked up the day attack acacia cortez And I hope she remedies that I hope uh, well when she's our queen, I'm sure she will we will only have the networks that uh She likes you know Just be I don't know what it'll be but it'll be something

It'll be fun AOC She's a fun woman. I'd love to have her on the show I'd love to have her on the show. I I do I am disappointed in her a little bit like synthia mckinney. I like because synthia mckinney Went like hardcore like we did 9 11 She was a congresswoman and she's like we did 9 11. She went wild Um, and she just fucking I think she lives at google where she lives

Where does synthia mckinney live? This is what happens when you go wild. You got to like leave the country Where does she live now? I Feel like she lives out of the country, but I could be wrong Maybe I'll get maybe we'll get synthia mckinney on the show She's wild She lives at cali saying she lives in stone mountain california That links dead dude. I think she's like somewhere else. I don't know why

She is a controversial woman. Look what she's tweeting right now go to her twitter She says she's in atlanta She's tweeting about apstein the other day. I forget I forget what she was saying. Um Like go back up go back up she retweeted trump She retweeted Trump goes who thinks we should fire dr. Fauci and mckinney retweeted that Oh, it's a fake account. Oh is it? I think she thought it was real though Yeah, okay, that's a fake account

Keep going down say the mckinney is interesting man She's right. She's right at the point with the far left and the far right meat And you know what that point is it's fucking awesome She's just awesome I don't know what she's what she's saying. I'm sure she said a lot of wild shit. Don't act me on twitter and be like You don't know what synthy mckinney said about She's saying don't take the vaccine for cova 19. Yeah, she's wild man. synthy is wild. She ain't don't take that vaccine She's a little wild

Listen to this she was Alan Dershowitz wins the lawsuit that seals forever the files Containing the names of eppstein clients protecting all who are blackmailed by eppstein and massad as a result of sexual trafficking pedophilia and worse That's interesting and worse Thrown a few bones to the cute people She goes, uh, they were blackmailed by eppstein and massad as a result of sexual trafficking pedophilia and worse What could be worse? Obviously, it's the murder. Oh, yeah of the kids

Synthy and mckinney go down. What's that? What's that fucking photo? Just a picture of it, dude, she's going full cova truther She's full cova truther now. Yeah, she is full cova truther Is this her website true news.com go to true news.com is that synthy and mckinney? I'll subscribe to this site every day of my life if this is true Please tell me it's like synthy and mckinney interviewing rosanne I'll never watch anything else Is melania trump a silent victim of eppstein's child trafficking network already i'm like great. Let's let's let's read this

Already i'm in i'm already in Who's true news I don't know. I don't want to play their stuff though. No This is the book they're promoting final day Final day ten characteristics of the second coming of jesus christ. Yeah. All right. Well, we know It's all a scam that goes back to religion Yeah

The q anon shit Is all a scam That goes back to lining the pockets of megachurch pastors And a lot of those guys are only on the internet now, especially because of cova 19 So behind all the q stuff is this real religiosity And a lot of it lines the pockets of traditional kind of right wing christian groups or people Very interesting. It's just a new hustle. They're like, it's not enough anymore to just tell people about the 10 commandments We gotta we gotta start weaving together this this meta narrative some true some false

Build this big political arc make them feel like You know, they are soldiers in this war and then they're gonna buy these books and give us money And contribute to the cause and I guarantee you that a lot of this q shit Is being backed by mega church guys It's smart See that's where you gotta get to in life folks where you're not outraged by that you just sit back and you go It's smart

Go. Yeah If people were idiots and they needed something to believe in and I could Rebrand what they all believed in as something else and keep finding a way to fleecing them out of their money You you don't even get mad at it anymore. You just go, huh? Huh? That's the reaction. You don't you don't get outraged. You don't start sputtering and screaming like a crazy person You don't show up at somebody's house and did tell them you just say you go You know, it's interesting you tell one of your friends at night. You know, it's interesting

Here's what I think and that's that and that's where it dies People that want to get involved in this are just gonna get involved People want to give their money to these people or the black lives matter people You know, for example, you want to give your money to them? Give your money to them. It's all They tell you what they want to do. They're like, all right. This is not really about police. It's about uh destroying the nuclear family and instituting uh Marxism and uh, you know, we want to do that

uh through controlling speech and uh you know We want to abolish the police We want to let vigilantes run through the streets. We want to take everybody's pride. I mean, that's what the abolished police is about Instead, let's start taking people's shit. That's not ours Everybody's like, I wonder what the abolished the police is about it. You won't work. It's not supposed to work It's gonna work for the people who are gonna take your shit It's gonna work very well

For the people who are gonna take what they feel is theirs dummies I don't know if it's gonna work this abolish the police. It may not work Oh, it'll work. It's working already in new york. They're not even abolished They just cut their money and crime is up The abolishing the police is about creating enough chaos In the streets that you overthrow the government and replace it with a marxist Uh government where everybody is bought off

Everybody gets a certain amount of money And everybody embraces some type of surveillance state And we all do this because we want the chaos to end Now the people that want to bring about this revolution Are they gonna be the people that survive to the other end of it? Who knows? But that is what they want They want to totally destroy capitalism and everything with it private property Um

You know, you're right to bear arms. You're right to speak. You're right to You know Own and operate a business. They want to get rid of all of that. You're right to worship freely Your religion. I mean that that's what they want to get rid of that's why I don't give a shit about this q and a q If you want to worship the the church at q and on as long as you're not going and kidnapping people Or fucking doing crazy shit. I don't care what you do. It doesn't matter. I'm only on this earth for a certain amount of time I can't worry about you That's your journey

That's your journey of whatever you want to believe and I can't tell you I'm sure there's a lot of people that are thrilled believing in q and on. They love it Makes them happy Who am I to say what what you're allowed to believe it but the the blm stuff does Uh come from a place where they they they want everybody to be controlled And they're using racism as a way to suggest that nobody can have any freedom because the only freedom, you know, the only reason Are the only way people use their freedom now is to be racist and to oppress other people

So if you want to give them your money do that go ahead and give them your money I don't care. You want to give the q and on people your money give them your money. You know, it doesn't matter to me Doesn't doesn't matter to me What you do is completely immaterial Um, but just know that that's who you're giving your money to you're giving your money to old school marxist And you're giving your money to old school, uh tent preachers, you know mega church pastors That's that's all this q shit is it's just a rebranding of that and they're just going to suck your money The way they've been sucking it they're going to give it to a republican country club guys that just fucking

You know make money and they don't really give a flank fuck about you and that's just a way that It's the same old story folks Ain't nothing new That's the other thing is frustrating about people that just really dive hard into politics If you're smart enough your political arc should last about five years About five years It's really smart people get it done into They go, oh, I believe in things. I believe in things. Oh, so do these people. Oh, whoa, whoa, things gonna happen

Oh, wait, what's gonna wait? Whoa? Whoa? Whoa? Whoa? Whoa? What's happening? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I don't understand I don't understand this doesn't make any sense. Why are they doing the things that the other people did? Oh my god Oh my god. I don't really care anymore. I met somebody. I like good a sandwich. All right. Yeah, people do that shit Ha ha ha. Oh, that was funny. Well, you know, fuck it only got a few years left on this earth done That's the arc if you have any semblance of intelligence any Go go go bang pots and pans for the nurses That's what you're doing

All your political tweeting and talking you're just essentially banging pots and pans for the nurses You're just banging a pot in a pan for aoc That's all you're doing Keep doing it. Whatever makes you happy, but I suggest I'll make a suggestion to you At a certain point in your life, you just turn it off turn it off mute Turn it off Go do something else because you're not going to want to get To the end of your life

You're not going to want to get to a point in your life where you've spent all of your time Invested in in a world that was created for you By algorithms, you're going to want to turn that off and go somewhere else and I don't know go kayaking. I can't tell you what to do Go get murdered Doesn't it sound like it's more fun to get murdered Go get put in a burlap sack while you jog Go get tortured in a cabin and murdered It's better than tweeting at Nancy Pelosi

Go get disemboweled by a really evil person I was going to say dude, but I don't want to gender the murderer It's more fun I Can't worry all the goddamn time about politics It's boring. Trump's gonna lose. Biden's gonna win Ellen's not going You're gonna keep doing

All the people that get involved with politics lack any other discernible skill So what they do is they review up they take your money and then they don't do anything because there's nothing to really do The country's ungovernable And the only thing after this is gonna look a lot worse than what we have right now That doesn't mean that like you shouldn't get health insurance and things like that. I think you'll eventually probably get those things I'll think you'll get national health insurance. It won't be good But you'll get it as you should get it and there should be you know coordinated attempts

To to get those things but you can just Vote you could donate money and you could vote you don't have to live in a 24-hour cycle of You know opinion and rhetoric every single day of your life You can just vote for people that you agree with and then step back and then You know try to get things for yourself get shit on your own. Don't wait for the government to get you something Don't wait. Good luck. Talk to the people that are waiting still waiting for checks for the beginning of this quarantine You know good luck Go out and do something on your own. Maybe you can't

And you know and that sucks and that's okay, too But like you know, you're relying on this incredibly corrupt government of morally vacant human beings I mean, I don't know. I don't know what I don't know what to tell you if you still think this is all We're still waiting on the check Like well, yeah, it's just we just abolished the police I don't fix it I don't fix it

Just get rid of the police Yeah Society won't come apart Don't think it will Oh, we'll just We'll just get rid of the police. We'll let everybody solve their problems on uh twitter social media Twitter will become real life and then people will the the reply guys will be eaten real life And they'll reply with a knife to your throat

That's the way the reply the reply guys on twitter will become real and that's what many of you need Many of you need like we need to start seeing blue checks on twitter who all live in cities get disemboweled We need to watch a video of some of our faves Some of our blue check favorites get disemboweled and when you see their end trails on the street you go Isn't that working well But they're the ones that keep clamoring for it. So let it happen. Let it happen in new york. Let it happen in these cities Let these cities burn And let these people that have all

Embrace this idea. They gotta live in those cities, man. I don't give a fuck. I'm the fuck out of here a fuck out of california I'm not gonna pay 12 percent Uh so that one day I can own a six million dollar house that's the size of a storage shed On in in the hollywood hills. It's stupid. It's stupid if you're living in new york city now, you're stupid Just leave If you're in la you're almost stupid just leave We're about to see a resurgence Of other parts of the country right now. Let these people stay in new york and la

Let them Go to a place take it over start a scene You know Go to fucking I don't know Go to uh trying to think where you should go Go to Omaha go hang out with uh You know go go ask questions about the who took johnny disappearance go try to solve that case People DM me new leads about my guy guys

Whatever happened to johnny gosh a good question. I don't know where he is wherever he is right now. He's tweeting He's probably retweeting aoc I don't even want him to come out of hiding. I'm gonna be mad. He wasn't killed I'm gonna look at his twitter and start throwing up and I don't even feel bad for you anymore. You know Guaranteed and I get it. He's probably tweeting apologize to police because he's probably where the fuck were the cops Because the cops, you know, we're you know are bad So I get it I get it man. Rogan made a good point. It's like the the the real woke people

are like those Religious people at game of thrones remember the last three seasons game of thrones everyone were those religious people were like The black hand or whatever they called it. They just came in and they were like Forcing everybody putting everybody through those purity tests It's just getting boring. We're talking about the same shit Every this this culture has gotten nowhere It's just a death spiral of the same bad ideas Over and over again. So if you want to keep your sound you got to get out you kind of got to get out

You have to just turn the key You know and just get out of here because people are going to be talking about this shit in five years The only difference is is whether you are listening to it or not That's it It's the only difference The only difference is going to be are you going to be listening to it with a business or with a house or with a relationship? Or uh in in a town you like or you're going to be listening to it in uh in a disgusting apartment with roommates and no money alone Uh, you know, that's the only difference. Nothing will change. Nothing is going to change things are going to get worse

Still steadily get worse. They'll have they'll have bounces of better like will bounce better worse better worse but um I you know, we've been talking about like I said, I was you know, I was I was started listening to alex jones and maybe 1999 I was on alex jones in the year 2020 um Very little has changed. I think in 20 years I mean, it's still some version Of the same arguments that people have been having over and over again

You know, if you go back and look at the issues in in the 2000 election They're similar to the issues that we have now economic and wealth inequality cultural issues gay issues abortion You know foreign policies taking more center stage now than it was then That that I will say because we had a little break in the 90s from foreign policy being this dominant issue And then I kind of came back again after 9 11, but for the most part it's been the same types of people Making the same types of arguments over and over and it's the same power factions rebranding themselves

You know, it's the same far leftists that are now pushing You know that have rebranded themselves a bunch of times and now they're pushing the black lives matter stuff And it's the same people on the far right that really the religious right christian right that have rebranded a bunch and they're now pushing Q and on I mean, this is just where we're at which probably not gonna I don't know what the only thing that will change any of this is technology It's the only thing that has the only thing that's changed anything Substantively is the fact that we now see the effect that social media and smartphones have on society but

But other than that Electually the ideas are the same for the most part not any new ideas Floating around here. It's just the mechanisms by which they go out into the world are different You know, I can't if I see one more fucking if I see one more shitty Cell phone vid put your phone away, please You rat Put your phone away Let people say something offensive to you

Either punch them or go and fuck it. Have a drink Realize they're mentally ill stop taking your phone out to try to video Somebody that's being mean to you this girl by the way that I went to high school with Uh did an article about how racist Restaurants are Nice girl black girl dated a white guy for years make of that what you will but she wrote an entire thing about how Racist restaurants were and they're not that racist. Go go to eater.com

I'm sick of restaurants being racist or something and I read this and I and she's like a nice girl But I'm like I don't understand any of this Um, she's like I'm sick of um She goes I will not keep but yeah, this is her I'm through being silent about the restaurant industry's racism. Keep going down here a few weeks ago I watched my tattoo artist post an instagram video about the racism in her industry And I saw this other person get up on her horse and demand change in the equestrian world

And it's imagine that racism in the equestrian world. No I can't am I are you saying that the equestrian world has some race and class issues? Um as I wrote my facebook quote to risk the restaurant industry is extremely racist Its racism is inseparable from the history of dining out in this country Restaurants here flourish after the civil war blah blah blah. Yeah, we all know this and I agree with her She's right about this the effects of discrimination have been everlasting And you know, I got it the people were denied loans blah blah blah But so this is where it's weird because a lot of her examples don't strike me as racist but go on

I began working in restaurants in 2009 while attending grad school The first place I served was a corporate southern seam steakhouse on long island The corporate steakhouse is she saying the corporate steakhouse is racist? Oh, no We will hold her to a high standard of proof here because she is attacking an institution near and dear to our heart Not long after I started there a co-worker was fired for using racial slurs about a black family Who was dining with us a restaurants owner individually apologized every black employee And the swiftness of his actions assured me that racism would not be tolerated nice Corporate steakhouse good, right? That's good

The following year I began my career in fine dining at a popular seafood restaurant on manhasset bay I know exactly which one this is louis in port washington. I used to like louis food was okay I used to get really hammered there and drive home drunk all the time the staff was mostly BIPOC what does that mean by people of color? I think so. Yeah by meaning Black indigenous people of color Uh, let me see what that stands. I'm just curious Or does it mean they were all bisexuals because that sounds like a fucking amazing restaurant to work at It sounds amazing if everybody in your restaurant is bisexual and everybody literally fucks everybody else

I don't know why you'd write an article complaining about okay. Yeah, I was right black and indigenous people of color The restaurant had its issues but during the two years I worked here diversity was not one of them But when I returned to the so so so So 2008 now everything's okay when I returned to the industry in 2018 after a six-year hiatus I discovered that my previous experiences were anomalies One evening while I was training as a server at a farm-to-table restaurant I asked a trainer how she made recommendations. She goes well, they're Asians So I recommend the octopus because Asians eat weird food. Why is that racist?

No, I'm genuinely asking Why is that that racist? I'll I understand that you're making An assumption about people based on their culture, but is it completely incorrect Why is that why I don't understand that's a big deal if she had said If I if she said I asked a trainer how she made recommendations and the trainer turned around at her and goes Well, I just take the child they threw in the water and make them eat that

Because they drown their own children That would be racist Do you understand? So if the trainer said that that would be a little racist If the trainer said by the way if she goes, how do I rate make recommendations? And I go just take a fucking filet mignon and stuff it with fireworks. They're not people That would be racist Do you understand?

If I said how do you make recommendations and she goes who gives it they're fucking insects That's racist, but by saying hey, they like octopus. They like weird shit. I don't get it. Okay Excuse me. I replied sternly what she didn't do again. I love when people lie She tried to backpedal saying something about how Italian guys also loved octopus Months later. I caught one of the managers and two servers discussing the treatment of black people as it relates to our work ethic The manager applied that there were times we were treated better Then we deserved because of our skin color the two servers look shocked But neither corrected her being the only black employee and server of color

I quit immediately but that you know, listen that shitty to do and the manager should not have done that But that evening the restaurant's owner and I had not his conversation She advised me to not let ignorant people affect my wallet and she had a point. I was broke and living Yeah, that's the thing man By saying that this is like the restaurant industry's racist. You've had a few uh, you had a few um run-ins with racist people But it's also like yeah, they're waiters

They're waiters and waitresses. They're not happy They're not killing it in life They're they're away. I know where this chick works. You work to texas roadhouse Yeah, yeah, I'm yeah Yeah, this is not the best and the brightest all the time. Sometimes it is sometimes people are but a lot of servers Are just they're working other jobs. You're going to school. They're I mean, I'm not excusing their racist behavior But when we say the entire industry And then we use examples from one

A few chain restaurants in long island Everyone's racist in long island. I mean Shortly I stated the restaurant for a year and a half shortly before my departure one of my customers a senior citizen grabbed me He goes, you know what they say about black woman. He whispered in my ear. You taste like chocolate He then attempted to kiss me Well, this is uh, this is out of hand I pulled away But I didn't want to hurt him

What? But I didn't want to hurt him I could already imagine the headline black server abused elderly white man at a long island restaurant That's what they would write in long island So again, I walked away, but this time I cried in the hallway while my co-worker consulted me Let me use an old dirtbag use an old horn dog Black women are neither fetish nor fantasy and intersexual harassment. We offer experience Okay. Yeah, but if there was a hot white chick with her tits out and she looked good

Do you think this guy wouldn't have said something inappropriate to her as well? Maybe not or a hot asian. I don't understand Yeah, again, this is again she bumps into people that are racist here One time when I defended some guests Whom one of these co-workers presumed were Jewish. He asked if I was a black Jew And this is a long island man leave move In response I referenced first they came What oh And expressed that I stand up for everyone and then politely told him to shut the hell up

He did but he continued to be openly racist towards me While the restaurants clientele was generally kind they were still middle-aged white men thinking they were too pock Telling me I was a prettiest black girl they'd ever seen Is that racism? And the white women who felt the need to be down when I approached the table. Hey girl one of them told me Okay Hey girl Hey girl is racism

Now I understand as you went to the table and I'm like, yo, bitch, what's up? Yo, where your man at? Like Okay One said your makeup is on fleek. We're trying to get lit And that's stupid, but it's funny. It's like I don't know What what I mean, they're drunk white middle-aged long island women that are trying to relate to you Is this really that bad?

I mean is that Aren't the the Uyghurs in a in a pre-education camp in china imagine them reading this article Somebody's saying hey girl. I'm not saying that there isn't real racism out there that you're not a But but I mean this is great. This is like if I Said that I experienced homophobia and and and then my example of homophobia That somebody asked me if I had a boyfriend or somebody tried to relate to me Or I was like, hey, yeah, it's bench or something annoying

But I don't think I think we're just reading too much into it You know Well, I wish for the best. I mean, I don't want it. I don't want we can be we can get rid of that I don't want her to go through any problems, but I also just don't know if that's a Is that real racism somebody says hey girl I mean if she had said I walked up to a table and there were five white women with Treadlocks and do regs

Okay, and as soon as I approached the table they made these gun signs like this and they were like That's a different story That's maybe a different story here Maybe that's a problem Maybe that's a problem You know, I guess it would be annoying If I was working at one of these restaurants and I went to a table of straight guys And they all started acting gay like they were like stop it

And they just like yes, that would be annoying to me, but my still My bigger problem. I would go. Why am I a waiter? Bigger problem. Why am I? Why am I a waiter? What's going on? But yes, I'll be annoying. I'm conceding that'd be annoying But that's not what it sound like happened if somebody just went. Hey girl your makeup's on fleek. It's just some old white bitch Try I mean, oh we Your makeup's on flat

You know Now if they if if she went To over to the table and they were singing like spirituals, you know It would be a problem Or if she went to the table and said hey, can I tell you about some of our specials? And one of the white ladies started singing Old man river That old man river

He must know something But don't say nothing He just keeps rolling Yes, that would be racist that would be wrong That would be odd Old man river like she walked over and they all just started singing old man river Old man river that old That's right. You got to learn the difference between what is racist and what is not racist

Like if I walked to a table and somehow knew I was gay Maybe they just see me sucking someone off and like I walked up to the table And they went into like a choreographed dance routine And just just started stuffing like cocks in their mouths like Yes, that that would be homophobic. You have to really pick Hey, we got it. You got it. We got to not hyper analyze every situation. Somebody said hello to you the wrong way Hello cannot be the problem here. It just can't I was so nervous. I was in that article. She'd been my server multiple times at all of those restaurants

I was so nervous. I was in that article I thought she was going to be like a pretty well-known comedian who used to sell mortgages went to my restaurant drunk and said, hey You want a house? You'll sign anything. You know how you people are Like that I understood like I was so worried that I had said something like that, but I didn't A decently well-known comedian Had made very inappropriate comments to me asked me to get him cocaine And then said quote. Can you call a cousin or something? I was so panicked I was in that article. I'm like god. I hope I'm not in that article

She's a good woman. I wish for no will will there's racist in Long Island. I guess the best thing would be To leave Long Island. I mean that would be we did long today folks We went an hour and 45 minutes you really get you get more than you should get here Join our patreon. You get a free episode every week if you are a Rothschild member You get not only the extra week the episode but we do a jumbo episode at the end of the month for you as well The patreon is patreon.com Slash the tim dillon show we have merch stuff Where they were working on right there life in the big city ben is wearing the shirt. It's good. He he did that part of the job today

Ben is wearing the shirt and You know a lot of cool stuff happening. There's no live comedy happening folks But you can always find this digitally new sketches coming out go vote for us on tournament laughs if we want It's such an embarrassment, but do it anyway. I'd love I'd love to win that show and then they cancel tbs And it goes out of business. So that would be great Enjoy the summer. It's in full swing. God bless you. Good luck. Goodbye