The Tim Dillon Show - 231 - Giuliani And The River of Gold

Starting point is 00:00:00 Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim Dillon show. We are live from an undisclosed location in Brooklyn, New York And we have a special guest. I don't know how we got him It's so tough to get people now because of COVID can't get anything go to William Sonoma You try to get a pan. They don't have it in the store. You got to order it online Can't get any furniture can't get any clothing everything's backed up because of COVID the same thing with podcast guests They're very very tough to get right now, but we have pulled every string. I went to my people at CAA I went to everybody. I went to every connection. I knew I twisted every arm I greased every palm and finally

Starting point is 00:00:41 finally It came through We're very excited to have this man on the show Ray Kump. Hello. Thank you for having me. Thank you. It was a process. Yeah No, it look I mean When I fit when I found out from my agent that you wanted to be on the show It took a moment to register. Oh, right. And yeah, we're old friends. So why not? Yeah, I feel like I went on We're old friends

Starting point is 00:01:09 So listen to this you get my agent calls me today he goes like this listen to this right Anybody who's not in this business and by the way, if you're not good Don't be and don't try to get into it but Anyone who's not in the business Isn't familiar with how in many not in all cases, but in many cases Agents in Matt. They're just becoming useless So they don't really call you anymore with like, you know, you like actionable intelligent

Starting point is 00:01:39 You know, they always say like things that can actually help your career They call you with things that they disguise as opportunities. So listen to this my agent calls me a few hours ago It goes like this he goes. Hey, man. How are you? He's like, I got Ryan on the phone to some other guys I got to meet Ryan on the phone. I just auditioned for curb. I thought like they were telling me I got curb But I was like, oh great. I'm so excited. You know, like I got Ryan on the phone They're like, all right, so we just want to go through a couple opportunities if that's okay with you I'm like, oh, yeah, baby. I'm in let's do it. I'm ready. I love the show, you know, and You guess so the other day we were talking apparently la Keith Stanfield seen you on Rogan and he thinks you're really funny now

Starting point is 00:02:16 There's there's probably nothing really to do, but maybe you want to write something with that in mind He is a guy from what Ben? Established guy, okay, cool, but they go like this. They go maybe you want to write something with that in mind I'm like, you want me to write a buddy cop film for me and la Keith Stanfield. What are you saying here? So he's a fan. Is he a fan of the show? He just saw me on Rogan and thought I was funny. It's like, dude, that's so that's millions of people This is like the friend who's like, you know, you Go pass the girl you want the girl you pen in high school and she's like, thanks

Starting point is 00:02:54 And then your other friend when you walked away goes like you should try to fuck her. Yeah But it's exactly right then they go like this they go and there's a guy at Danny McBride's company not Danny McBride There's a guy Danny McBride's company who works in the documentary division Who's also a fan of you and he said to us? I don't think there's anything to do right now with him, but we really like him and I go What is and they go so we just want to like set some time next week to go over some more of these opportunities I'm like, they're not opportunity. I want you to understand something Tim This is one of those moments when you have to strike iron. It's hot. You got a strike. Okay

Starting point is 00:03:33 There's no there's no time to wiggle waggle about this Tom Hanks his janitor So it's signed up for your patreon. Yeah, that's literally what it is. It's like these are not opportunities at all They have nothing to do Look, I've never understood That side of the business and they understood me right? Well, yeah, but Look, it's like calling me gone. Listen. So Sharon Stone is drinking heavily. She's into QAnon and thinks you're great

Starting point is 00:04:06 We don't know what if there's anything there yet, but we just think we should explore it later on It's like just like saying Look, I want to hear something Kevin Spacey he's just lost custody of his children This is a big People spiraling it's not it's an opportunity. It's people who's on the career down You're seeing you on the way down. It's it's it's one of our favorite phrases really it's less than nothing You know what I mean? It's absolute to call someone to just say hey somebody famous thinks you're funny

Starting point is 00:04:39 I'm like a lot of people do Who cares unless there's something to be done. That was like eight years ago when you got excited about that Yeah, yeah, like dude, I got bills to pay. I wanted there's things I want to do that requires money like Creatively it's like it would be one thing if they were like, hey You know, they've got a real great idea Why don't you hear them out or they think you could be plugged into something or there's something going on But to just say hey, they saw you on Rogan and they think you're funny and they want to I think they said like he said If it wants to talk to me, which I'm like great, but like I'm like, I'll talk to anyone, right? That's what I do

Starting point is 00:05:14 I think it'd be so funny. It's like I sit down with them. He's like, hey, man. Why do you put can to someone's on there? This is what we had to get CAA just tweeted me like everyone else to go fuck myself. He's like, I think he's had a lot of great ideas I can't say that yeah He's like, I want to thank you for Exposing me to can to someone who I now love So it's just weird a point now where it's like the level of insanity you get to play I was kind of a dick to them on the phone They were like, we want to set a time to talk about some opportunities

Starting point is 00:05:49 I said if we have real opportunities and not like some crazy idea like some crazy like non specific Hey, why don't you write a pilot for you and lakid stanfell? You know on spec. It's like yeah guys if there's real opportunities, let's discuss it because the reality is it's like You don't start writing the pilot you This is what you want from your thing until like the money's changed hands The whole thing is that this is It in lieu of there's just no good news right which is fine right because there hasn't been any in years Just call with that like I'd respect that just call and go

Starting point is 00:06:27 So you didn't so the role I auditioned for and kerb was like a plumber They go they're going another way. They're going another way on that. I'm like, of course they are Also, I don't know if the casting director is going to look at my twitter and go Yeah, this guy was on a podcast with Alex Jones. Yeah, can to someone's out. We don't want to we don't need that smoke We don't need that heat Who needs that smoke? What is there's no other fat guy to play a plumber? We got to get this guy For what?

Starting point is 00:06:51 You know, so I don't know. I just have no I would respect that if they were like listen There's just nothing going on and it's just like when I used to work retail and some cameras And they'd be like when it was slow the boss would be like, I don't want you to go through all the old sales Bill you sold cameras to a couple years ago and try to sell them another camera It's just such a crazy idea because I know sales and I know that like when you have somebody there's a mortgage It's like maybe the mortgage is going to like adjust or maybe circumstances have changed It's such a nothing could be a colder sale Then calling a guy that bought a camera three years ago, you know, you're like, hey, how's that?

Starting point is 00:07:27 How's that doing? How's that nigh con doing that thing? I sold you break yet How are you feeling you you want to re up? Why don't you come down to the store? We got some new models How's that kind of treating you good? It's just let me be honest with you. I got a coke problem. Yeah I gotta be real honest with you. I need $70 which is the commission on this $8,000 camera that I sell you I will make $70 I need it or I'm gonna get my head busted in when I walk out of here So please come down here and look at these cameras I

Starting point is 00:08:10 It's so crazy And I think These agents are all usually rich kids because who would ever get into the business of selling clouds No one that needed money There's no like what's the kind of thing also, uh, we're like It's one of those jobs where you could be float like you need someone to float you for a while because they don't make money The first few years. No, they're they're like, uh, you know, they work on somebody's desk and you know, their parents are just happy They're not, you know, like, you know in jail

Starting point is 00:08:37 So they're like usually it's the black sheep of a wealthier family where it's like my brother It was at Johns Hopkins medical center, you know, my sister's works at a big ad agency My other brother works at Goldman and I work at WME because I you know, obviously I'm not going to be a tour guide like tim dillon My aunt by the way sent she sent me like little presents, which is nice, anthony She sent me a a present for my christmas tree And it was the the greyhound tour bus from new york city and it just kind of rubbed me a weird way Like she's trying to take the piss. Yeah, it's almost like no matter who you are. Yeah

Starting point is 00:09:13 That's exactly what it felt like That's what it felt like is just a double decker bus like basically when I think of you. I don't think of a range rover I think of a dirty bus You can run as far as you can run as fast and as far as you want But when you look back, you're gonna be smelling bus fumes big That's what it felt like. I'm like, why would I it's like giving a recovering heroin addict an ornament of a needle You know, like you put this syringe on the tree You only once you only ever one step away. Yeah

Starting point is 00:09:43 Yeah, it was just such a weird game You've always I She's very nice to me when I see her, but you I've always observed a certain level of uh, But what the kids say salt She just remembers when I was a drug addict sure she puts a little salt on yeah, she remembers when I was a drug addict And it's like, you know, what do you want me to do? Yeah, you know, you gotta go back and fucking I'm sorry stole from your house. I never stole from out

Starting point is 00:10:11 But I was like, I think it's just the idea that like she's like You know trying to do the right thing. It's not it was nice that she sent the ornament I just I go I say to myself. I go wait a minute Right. She also sent me a conspiracy board game and I was like, what the fuck is this What what what has this worked this game? Do you even look at it? I didn't even look at it It was just a conspiracy board game and I'm like, is this what we're doing. How about no presence Was it just like a mr. Potato head, but it's candy. Yeah, just keep hitting that I don't know what it is, but it's just like, oh, it's a fun like conspiracy board and it's like

Starting point is 00:10:44 That's not What we're doing here David Dobrik, by the way, we talked about this talking about puzzles and games David Dobrik came up with a game called a hundred thousand dollar puzzle He sold 17,000 of them in an hour And people that buy the game can win up to a hundred thousand dollars. He didn't sell a board. He's he's selling gambling He's just selling lotto tickets What is this? You made a great point. He really is like the willy wonka for poor people Come with me

Starting point is 00:11:14 And you'll see I mean like give like I'll give was he given portions or something And he shows up with lambos occasionally. Yeah, look I don't even know if he is a good guy. Yeah He's the thing It's the last thing you want to give to someone who isn't financially stable and like financially literate with money Like someone who's actually like in the grips of poverty There's things you have to work really serious tax implications and like do you think they let them keep the cars? Or like right after the cameras are off somebody comes in it takes the car and the guys like what they go

Starting point is 00:11:42 You knew what this was You know, what do you think you're being given? Here's your appearance fee. Yeah, yeah Here's 250 dollars But there's something funny about like this whole thing whether it's him or jeffree star and I've talked about it on the show before This idea of youtube philanthropy like these guys and the way that they Like a lot of they they're just like hey, I'll hit your venmo and it's so sad Watching people on twitter be like listen, you know, my wife is out of work. She just had an operation. I have covid I can't really and it's so sad. They're like tweeting at these big people to pay their bills

Starting point is 00:12:17 It's fucking terrible. And what's so sad is there's like I'll see that But also in that same fee people I knew from comedy You're like, hey me my roommate really we lost our waitressing job sort of and we really use help with the rent Like it's just the stacking of like Yeah, you can't vet these people. So it's just no, I mean, that's why it's so Devastating to watch and sad and it's also like a lot of these people no one quite knows why they have money Like nobody knows why david don't like we all know why but nobody knows like I'm confused right as to why he has the amount of money. He does. Yeah, but it probably doesn't

Starting point is 00:12:57 No, he does how much money do you have what a 10 million or something right? Oh 10 million is not enough to be giving away lambos though. Well, they spot companies sponsor it and they get they buy the car Well, that's what this is again. Okay. That's my point. Yeah, what is he have? Yeah, 15 million. She's a lamb. He's a lambo. He's a lambo salesman. He's a slambo And listen good for whatever but he made the money, you know, he gets a lot of views and stuff like that He's not looking but you watch it and you go. I don't I I don't get it, but it's not for me to get here's the thing when I don't hate the guy Oh, it's a good grift whatever but you go. He's bringing more positivity into the world. There would be other ones

Starting point is 00:13:35 I don't know if he is it's just It's just yeah, it's it's it's it's it's always this weird grift where it's just like who's just actually helping you probably Like the lotto I mean the mad people who get lotto like when they wouldn't bake and just There's a certain amount of success which I'll probably never reach where you just have to start saying things like look under your seat Today like there's a certain amount of money where people just expect you to give them things No matter what they're like, okay I'm gonna go get a free like water fan if I if I sit through Two hours of oprah like that was a big thing oprah started it like look under your seat

Starting point is 00:14:11 Then ellen did it and they give everybody like there's just a certain amount of money Wherever you whenever you hit that amount of money people expect you to just walk around and give them shit Yeah, this is kind of thing you should do when you're a criminal, right? Like you'll legit like my boss. Yeah, right You're just buying loyalty from people Ellen should have given those cars to her staff who she beat the shit out I like yeah, give them to the people that are genuinely hurting give them a fucking hunday sonata Yeah, yeah, and it's always you look at people in the audience at ellen or oprah and you go

Starting point is 00:14:38 There couldn't be anyone less deserving than these middle class pieces of shit Upper middle class have nothing to do but watch a television when I was broke I there was nothing less important than going to watch a tv tape it like the idea that like Anyone in that position needs anything other than more work Like it should be look under your desk. There's more work for you to do Don't come back to this fucking studio to watch me interview kirsten bell kristin bell or whoever The fuck ellen's talking to but yeah, it's interesting the dobrik game. What did you find anything about it? It's it's See he made 350 grand, but yeah, but a lot of it's a lot of games to sell in an hour

Starting point is 00:15:23 It's why we need a product, right? We can't keep fucking around entertainment man. You you know You could you could really go scratch with it. What about something you could fuck You know i'm listening like a furby that like because the flashlight was too big and it's too gross You need and it doesn't look like a living thing you need like a like a free or own version of a furby like but it's like maybe uh You know a face Like a like a non what about a furby with a very small mouth for pedophiles Look, I mean it's better if they're doing that than if you're you know with tiz, but that's exactly what we'll say sure like a small mouth

Starting point is 00:16:03 for a pedophile to face fuck Why are you pushing back? I just don't know if we should lead with that I mean look pedophiles are or if nothing else resourceful, they'll figure it out Like you know they'll share it on there before I don't want them to I don't know but we do because we don't want them to fuck the actual kids But fine, but I don't know if we need to like come out in the advertise in the press conference And so we'll just say it's a child's doll, but for a million other things

Starting point is 00:16:30 Well, it's all you know, but the dildos that women use in massagers, right? Right. Sure. Yeah No, this this is it to practice if your child falls in the pool Yes giving them giving them uh chest compressions and mouth to mouth This is this is problematic This is complicated. My agent calls me. He's like, uh lakith stanfell sees you a pedophile doll Thinks it's great Now he doesn't want to go into business with you immediately, but just keep in mind That lakith stanfell thinks your pedophile doll is great. Are you guys been pedophile for me?

Starting point is 00:17:06 Oh, shit that's right Somebody Danny Mcvry's company who is a pedophile is really likes it doesn't want to say who it is They sent us a message through discord that they really like the doll I mean could yeah, I don't even want to like, you know, keep this going but like You could have a thing where like The problem is only kids would wear it so it's not good But you'd like it'd be a fucking thing that you could wear but also fuck

Starting point is 00:17:33 But then it'd just be a thing of kids wearing high schools. I mean, I'm getting trouble for it. Yeah We don't want to get in trouble. Those bracelets that kids used to There's those snap bracelets Remember snap bracelets. Yeah where you would snap it on your wrist And we're like, do you remember Ben? Wow kids we got cut because it's a metal thing in there And they were like, yeah, and then there were pogs. I had pogs. I had oj OJ slammer oj simpson slammer. Yeah, wow Is that keep oj out of the slammer or something?

Starting point is 00:18:01 And the back of it had a picture like an engraving of a gun to his fogey And I remember more recently was the fidget spinner. I never had those I didn't care But apparently they were like a thing and then now they're nothing Now they're nothing. Yeah, like for like a year there everyone was claiming to be like the kind of ocd maniac who like Had to like fucking the whole time be honking 15 different things. Right You see these like advanced fidget spinners that have like knobs and like riding gears And they see these youtubers go. I like this. I have to fiddle with things like it's I love it's like you could show somebody a picture like you go go back in history

Starting point is 00:18:34 You show somebody a picture of the future and you see all these people fidgeting with all these things like Oh, what are all these gadgets do? It's like, oh, nothing. They're just they're just For something for people to do that are on too many SSRIs to get their dick hard So they just want to play with a fucking weird fucking What is going on with bitcoin? You know about bitcoin. You're a financial analyst I know when I know about bitcoins. It seems like it's going high I don't know. I know as much as I knew five years ago, which is that it's nothing It's bullshit raise a bitcoin hater

Starting point is 00:19:05 What if this is a controversial stance? I think it's possible It could grow over time into a thing that people use but no one's really using it yet And again, I don't have all the numbers if you're some bitcoin nerd out there And you're gonna tell me but I've had people hate hate text tweeting me for years now because I haven't been up on bitcoin for the old show And and going back on like, why don't you like bitcoin? It's gonna go up and with it It drops and it drops and it drops these same people around. You don't believe it's look. It's a bubble Now can these blockchain currencies work? Yeah, maybe like, you know, people if they get adopted and they'll get You know, uh

Starting point is 00:19:43 Get the kibosh from the Fed and all that, you know, if the banks don't keep them out, you know By the time the banks get, you know, actually allow them if they do they're gonna actually be You're gonna get so much hate from that and not not only because I am starting a cryptocurrency with David Dobrik Should David Dobrik start his own bitcoin? How great would it be if he just literally one of the youtubers started issuing currencies? Like just pay with doughbox Just pay with doughbox He goes to like the most like economic press areas in LA. He's like, we'll give you a million dollars

Starting point is 00:20:16 In doughbox, yeah We're I'm going to copton and I'm handing out my new currency doughbox If you're fucked line up right after you get your coven test, which is fake not coven But the test is fake come and get doughbox and we'll see. I mean that would be great if like let's keep the griff going Moving to other things moving to bigger arenas Like yeah, like like currency arbitrage. Why don't we just somehow Get you installed in a foreign government And like literally take a bribe but because of the way I look it would have to be like the shittiest foreign governments like Ireland

Starting point is 00:20:51 Like the only the only government where I could literally Probably assimilate get into and they're so dumb over there that I could get like they Did you think we were gonna make you the king of england does Ireland even have a CIA? No, yeah They have like guys who sort of like literally just throw them all off cocktails to cops They have guys that just like like like just literally like light protest and baby strollers on fire That's diversion the CIA, but it's like that's the only government I could probably get into Hello, I'm patio flanagan. My name is patio flanagan. I'm the new senator from dairy

Starting point is 00:21:23 I'll tell you a few things about this country. I believe in the future of ireland. I believe in a free ireland I believe in a free ireland I believe that that we have to we have to fight for the church of rom Oh What I mean Even if it's not you but we do is there an angle we can get with the politician? No Why not? Why why can't we Although we sort of small but you need you need like a low-level senator

Starting point is 00:21:52 Also, listen and ask you're gonna love this So I'm first of all, I'm in new york right now The reason that I'm in new york is because a seafood restaurant open. I've told you about arty's fish South shore fish. Yeah Now we never went never had bad guys chance like we went to other ones near there, but yeah arty's closed I was very depressed. You know how much I like restaurants. Yeah, and you know, I don't really have a family You know nothing you like right? So I love restaurants So like I was like let's go and I did get to see my mother through the window of the mental institution

Starting point is 00:22:23 Which was lovely. It was very nice, you know, it was a nice kind of visit. I was it was like sorry trump lost She's like, I know it's bad. I'm like she goes. I hope the new guy keeps giving me a stipend She goes trump gave me 1200 it went into my account. I hope the new guy gives me a stipend and I'm like, well, I hope so too I hope for your sake and everyone else's sake. I I also hope so So we go to arty's because they contacted me on instagram. They're like we're back and we're doing fashion I'm like bad. Let's just get on a plane and come here, which I did and there's no quarantine There's nothing I mean everybody's like there's There's I guess is this this thing that the media is doing to scare people that which I get because I guess

Starting point is 00:22:59 I don't want people to travel but like they're putting all this information out There's like there's checkpoints at the bridges and tunnels and the militaries in the airports It's like there's none of that. Okay. Yeah, I don't even know but I mean there's none of it But what would they do anyway tell you to go home like tell you to go Go quarantine. Okay That's a great point Son, what the hell are you doing? I don't know. I'm getting pizza. You go on home Just a big military guy. You're gonna get sick boy

Starting point is 00:23:28 You stupid fuck Sir, yes, sir, I will go home firing gun to the air. Yeah I'm not powerless The empire indoors Just screaming. It's like, who is this? Who did you hire? um So we're sitting in arty's today alphonse domado walks in 82 year old

Starting point is 00:23:52 Senator from the town I grew up in island park. He's from island park. He's from island park He's from brooklyn. He lived in island park domado's like read Can you on mic read a little bit of a domado set this up for people because it is truly amazing Okay, so domado was of italian ancestry It was born in brooklyn and raised on long island in the small village of island park Which is great. Um, he was the last republican senator for new york from 1981 to 1999 um, the only charity he is a part of is the poker players alliance

Starting point is 00:24:27 Which is a it's a nonprofit organization set up to help protect and fight for the rights of poker players in the united states It's a lobby for the online poker. Yeah. Yeah, so So the charity, oh, please tell us the book Tell us ben. Can you tell us the title Find the title of his book and then tell us the title of domado's book and then we'll talk about the motto Because the lunch was amazing But you got it This is if you if you didn't learn enough about him

Starting point is 00:24:53 By just and shout out to him. I might see him again at this restaurant. I'm not trying to make things weird but The name of the book he wrote is absolutely perfect. The name of the book is power pasta and politics The word according to the world according to senator out the model. Look at the look at that, right? He looks like he's like he's like he's an old timer. So listen to this. He hates trump He goes like this, right? He sits down. He's talking to the owner of the restaurant. He goes listen He goes, you know why he lost this election?

Starting point is 00:25:24 He goes he's got juliani in there juliani's going over to ukraine hiring a bunch of crooks. He goes juliani's a snake He goes, I made juliani. I put juliani on he goes juliani's gotten a loyalty to anybody but himself but himself And he goes the guy's a scumbag and he goes trump souls were scumbag. He goes, you don't think trumps to you and everything The model goes trump doesn't pay any of his fucking workers and the guy that owns the restaurant goes Yeah, he owe my buddy 80 grand. He only gave him 60. The model's like you're lucky. He got 60 You just have to sue him to get money and then it was so funny because i'm sitting there with ben and we're listening to this whole thing and i'm like Ben don't you get it now? Why I don't get invested in any of this shit emotionally because this is just they're all criminals like the models are criminal

Starting point is 00:26:01 The models are criminal like juliani who prosecuted the mob is like hiring mobsters to like help trump like they're all full of shit The whole thing's a grift And like it's just so funny listening to demado talk because anyone from new york who knew trump knew he wasn't Like to say that donald trump cares about their working man is like saying tim dillon cares about the american vegan I uncle's telling me that like over Thanksgiving dinner when I was 10 about trump. Yeah before he was even like a guy Yeah, it was a known thing forever. He has no empathy. The guy doesn't care at all But it was so funny how just just uh demado unloading on juliani for the majority of the lunch

Starting point is 00:26:41 I mean look What did juliani even do in 1911? That's what i'm confused about. How'd he become america's mayor? I think he was he digging people out of the grand zero. I think he stood there and I think he was the mayor I mean he I mean he was um, he was He performed his mayoral duties and he was you know, I think he maybe gave a few speak I don't remember any juliani speech. I remember the famous bush thing Yeah, where he got on the microphone and he was like we're gonna find the people who did this I'm just saying this guy's got he like he fell far from grace, but he was built up so hard

Starting point is 00:27:14 F9 11. Well, he did a good job in new york. I think Yeah, and and and there was a lot of reasons new york cleaned itself up, you know the infusion of Foreign, you know, not foreign but but capital disney world all that shit, you know made change new york as a city But like the economy got better the economy 90s just got better. Anyway, people remember sure um, but juliani certainly should get some credit for that because he did do a lot Of of good things for the city of new york at the time, but then he just has become a Goon and then you see That

Starting point is 00:27:46 This is who he was the whole time is just a goon. Remember when he ran for president It was like it was an absurd to that but that was when you realize he wasn't like as For reason about it, but he was just an app that was when he first started to think of the armor when he's just Oh, he's not good at this like he's just he kept bringing up 9 11 every every question was 9 11 He's like, well, I was from a I ran a city that was attacked. I allowed Destroyed the soul of my city. He's like listen to me Bernard karak in the saudi government wired those buildings and I sat there and I didn't say goddamn Do you have any idea what that's like going to bed every night with the deaths of 3000 plus people on your hand

Starting point is 00:28:28 he got like shit because like apparently firefighters hate them because uh There was there was something where they wanted to like At one point and there was day two or three f 9 11 They turned like they realized there's a river of molten gold under like tower seven or some Under the rubble what a goddamn hell all this country. Yes, we keep going And so Giuliani goes we have to like you know secure this I guess we can't have the the gold will swim away So he pulls people off of like Looking for like firefighters bodies and victims and all these you have to go

Starting point is 00:29:00 I don't know collected molten gold with like pale. I don't know what he did But they He's like listen. You must find the river of gold. It's like my brother is in that building. He's gone Nothing to be done But there's a river of gold Causing through the veins of this city and you got to find it. What is sick sadistic? Society this is that's america's mayor. That's what he did, right? You're like, what did juliani do? He directed the effort of the fire department to find the river of gold

Starting point is 00:29:36 That's what he did That should be a children's book. Rudy. Julie 9 11 in the river of gold to go weird harry potter book Rudy Giuliani in the river of gold What a fucking Creepy fucking dude. I mean that is hilarious. Yeah, he just never He just but but damada was unloading on him on lunch lunch today And he's like and then he got mad at jimmy haze. He was the steakhouse across the street. He's like that cocksucker Damado goes like going in with a gift card. It's not working jimmy's like giving me shit. He's like that cocksucker sitting there drunk

Starting point is 00:30:15 He's sitting there drunk and jimmy does like get drunk and just sit at the bar and yell and shit and like he's in jama I was like, I've been going there 40 fucking years. It's fucking cocksucker Whatever it will go back to this restaurant tomorrow and eat and so good everyone go there Soundproof fish Nile Park and then listen if nobody if I can't ever go again. I at least I had these Oh, we went all out. We got tuna tartare and buffalo calamari and and the tuna tidbits and swordfish and soul And I mean we just it was really good. I mean we're staying in a dump. What was the motto eating? Swordfish, uh Seems kind of lame. Yeah, it's good. It's good. It's just seems like uh, he's trying, you know guys 82. He had covid two weeks ago

Starting point is 00:30:56 What's it for all these people? It's just you're all just getting covid eating fish. I don't know. I don't know what they're doing They don't give a shit my my friend michael has covid. I'm like you doing Anyone died from this anymore? I don't think so. I gotta be honest. I don't think I don't think so. There's always a freak cake There's always like a thing that happens like my aunt Donna collects tragedies So she'll be like she's always at the ready with like some like well one guy turned blue like I don't want to be insensitive But I mean do you think this year is a kind of a gimme for people whose kids died of an overdose? What do you mean? Like

Starting point is 00:31:27 We'll just tell people it was covid freak case Yeah, but that's got to be horrible if they don't believe you like Like i'm like, yeah, you know, um John lost his fight with covid and you go covid It's 24 years old It can it can affect young people it can affect young people, you know, it was shocking for us and uh It was very you're like, where did he die?

Starting point is 00:31:51 jail died in jail covid No, but it's like it's like somebody been like hey How do you die to covid 25? Yeah, don't you watch the news it can happen. It can happen, you know He started to have all these weird symptoms and lesions on his forearms and wrists and uh, you know

Starting point is 00:32:13 He started stealing all of our money. Is that part of covid? Yeah It's one of these new symptoms they have where the kids start stealing your money And accusing you of molesting them always Always sweating and cold. He was sweating. You're saying I I know what you did to me. You touched me. You let people touch me Like it was weird covid All of these odd symptoms are good But it's just so funny when you're listening to domado

Starting point is 00:32:36 And then uh, you listen to trash all these people just talking like really kind of that Accurately about his perceptions about things whether they're right or wrong and he was also trash in biden He's like they got Biden on tape Telling the council of foreign relations that he's into ukraine His son's getting a lot of money because you're gonna see a thought it's like real prestigious. You get in there You gotta spend all this money He's doing all the but I mean he gets it man. He's not wrong about anything. He got it and I was Ben was hearing and I'm like that's

Starting point is 00:33:06 Politics in america. You want to know what it is? You might not like it. You might want it to be something else Maybe one day it will be I'm not telling anyone not to organize go force your floor vote for medicare for all do whatever you want to do But at the moment as it stands politics in america, it's a goon squad Do you think to see if our didn't back in the day didn't fuck with him? They didn't like reach out to out the motto. I don't know. I think he was probably a guy the day fucking lied to a criminal Yeah, these are all criminals. I mean like these people if politics is is crime. It's like it's legalized bribery and corruption It's what it is. It's like political parties used to literally be they ran gangs. They rang out. Yeah. Yeah, so I mean it's just like

Starting point is 00:33:47 This is who these people are the direct descendants of and in in every meaningful way And you know, you can hear that when they're at launch in just the way he's 82. It's so funny He goes this cuckucka I go in there with a gift card and you know like jimmy's being like this motherfucker tried to rob me You know like on the other side It's just jimmy's probably you know, he's already been used No, it hasn't keep running it Keep running

Starting point is 00:34:11 He's just trying to get a scam the model trying to get a scam trying to get a few free steaks That's really all it come politics in america comes down to a few free steaks Can you get a few pieces of meat on the arm? I mean, can you imagine how much How much better it tastes than when you fucking like put your wallet out like just getting getting like someone like a grip It just tastes I want to go back just for a minute to 9 11 the funny and I've told this anecdote on the show before But the funniest thing I ever saw in like three years of doing Leading tours in New York City like on and off for three years on a double-decker bus There was this guy named frank. He was like just kind of intense guy, but not like a conspiracy guy, right?

Starting point is 00:34:46 Never like you know, we spoke butts and shit good, dude Never really like did tours never really got complaints. He just got really He just like got really fucking like heated one day When and I never I was taking his bus because I was just sitting on the bus to dead head to where I was taking To sell way back to my house or he was just doing like this, you know downtown route and I lived in brooklyn at the time And I was sitting there and he goes somebody on the bus goes Uh, you know the fire, you know the band if the fire department they were all heroes, you know running in those buildings And he goes frank goes that's what you think he goes. I was there

Starting point is 00:35:25 He goes those firemen were cowards. They were running out of those buildings He goes they didn't save anybody. They were running out of those buildings He goes the cops to firemen. They were cowards. They were crying. They were running away And the faces of the people were so disturbed By how matter of fact he was he's like I saw it because he was not characteristic for him to flip out like this He literally saw it or believed he saw it like he was like I saw it the cowards They ran out of those buildings. They didn't go anywhere near them They couldn't be running out as they were collapsing. Yeah, he goes

Starting point is 00:35:59 He goes they didn't go anywhere near those but I just never seen someone just flip so great. It was just fucking phenomenal It was phenomenal, but I'm glad I came across the country for the new york city now. We came into the city The the the city now has outdoor Dining in buildings they built wood and plastic like sheds like sheds like horse stalls It looked like they're part of a stable like it looks like those things that like we sell Christmas trees out of It's the strangest. It's exactly what it looks like It's so odd and then they have these big tents like in Long Island

Starting point is 00:36:33 Some people have these tents and I go What the fuck's going on like how is it not? transmissible in a tent or in an outdoor building without insulation Yeah, I would think you know, uh I look I guess you're still airflow. I mean Can't we just put better filtration systems in the fucking building? I don't know. I think they're allowed to this is dang I think there are like there's a lot of companies that like can open but don't

Starting point is 00:37:01 Because like you have to build negative airflow things. They're expensive. Like that's right You know a lot of people a lot of people's jobs just are just working from home Because like what we're gonna do spend like 10 million renovating the building right, it's like it's um Yeah, look, I hear you. I mean, uh, are they still doing like, you know, do you want the truffles only on your macaroni when you're sitting in a shed? I mean, I don't know what they're doing. They're just I mean, we we had dinner in a place tonight. It was like whatever The quality of everything here is just no it's just climbed precipitously. I gotta be honest with you

Starting point is 00:37:33 I mean the quality of new york city dining is it's just dipped And they're just slinging food to high on tourist even on the one on your way out of the city like You're gonna have two years to go. Yes We were having some bad nights. It was noticeably different. It was noticeably different. They're They're just pounding money out of foreign tourists. It's not over the head just beating them over the head It's expensive count money. It's people that are sprowing this throwing their company card out They don't they're not going out anymore. They're not saving up and going after the special occasion that they want to be amazing They're just throwing corporate money at some forgettable night. They just want to get plastered

Starting point is 00:38:07 And that's what it is and you go to a lot of these places and you go the food is just Not really what it was. I came up in the era of 90s to new york city where it's like It's some of the greatest chefs that you know now as celebrity chefs were actually cooking in their restaurants in the 90s That's the other problem Chefs got famous and they left their restaurants, right? And now we're just replacing them with line cooks who are good or sous chefs But like chefs are now running a little mini empires instead of cooking Are the it's part of the problem that the money can I imagine that like the med man era in the 60s and 70s

Starting point is 00:38:39 It was pretty easy to hide strip clubs and whores on the company You know expense account and this you know things have probably gotten just in general a lot harder to do that kind of thing later on So did that money get diverted into restaurants is my question like is that part of the boom and the I don't know or like on the same note can we restaurants just get you a hooker and put it on their bill They used to be girls that would hang out in the big steakhouses in new york and there might still be but there were girls It would hang out a hundred percent. I want a whore. Yeah. Can you just call it a big potato? Now you yeah, they just put it on the bill as a big potato a thousand dollars He got the thousand dollars, but now it's like there's an actual big potato. That's a thousand dollars in this caviar and some garbage

Starting point is 00:39:22 Certain nights girls was certainly hanging out at the things. I think a lot of the problem was it's just like everything else It's like chefs now run empires and they have tv shows and they have You know gourmet delis in addition to their restaurants and they have outposts in vegas and everything else And you get to a point where the quality ultimately suffers because it's no longer about doing something really unique and good But it's about you know being this you know massive mogul And you're just I mean, I remember I went to wolfgang pucks restaurant in vegas lupo. It was so Grotesque I was embarrassed. I was with this woman I'd gone out with this girl nicole

Starting point is 00:40:01 In vegas. He was like we were kind of like dating I guess on years ago years ago You know senior year of high school 2003 and we went and We went there and the food was so bad and i'm just like wow wolfgang put pucks slaps his name on this But now it's like you get it. You're like, oh, he's just making a shitload of money Yeah, he was julia child's like weird creepy friend, right? I don't know I think you I think i'm i'm just saying these people. No, they're shocked pepin. Oh, that's right. That's that creep. Okay Why is he a creep? They're all creeps to me. You get shocked pepin. It definitely is a seller of children

Starting point is 00:40:34 Oh, yeah, that guy's a freak. Well, so many these people my name is juke pepin You'll learn to make a couple good look he put it this way. I mean Zeppelin uh the who I mean The great bands the what are stones doing now? What's the last time stones? I agree that let's take them down a notch Fuck them. Fuck. I don't agree But we're like but these chefs just sort of keep going It's like you have a hit early on but they trade on his name as if like your food is like You put goat cheese on a pizza. We get it. Right. Yeah, you did it spago. You did it

Starting point is 00:41:06 I say when You go there and it's low. You go do orleans And they come get these fucking charbroil oysters and his big and close to like 15 bucks. It's like oh, it's amazing As soon as you start telling someone you have to take a trip there You have to go here. You have to eat it very rarely is anything hold up Nothing's really that good in life for the most part. There are a few things But for the most part things are pretty good and people try to find their lives by them And then they tell you this is the greatest thing I've ever had in my life

Starting point is 00:41:33 Well, there's nothing there's nothing because I go to new ones I get the I go to desire oyster bar people go to act me Desire oyster bars are a regular oyster bar in the Royal Sinatra hotel. It is fine The weight is a lot less you sit there You get the grilled oysters with the butter sauce and the bread you get the whole a the whole thing is there Right, you want the Roy's you got and I'm sure it maybe act me is a little better, but the line and the whole thing I've been fine. It's the same shit. It's the same shit You know, so at the end of the day, it's like the hype

Starting point is 00:42:03 Around anything. Yeah destroys it. That's the amazing thing about the culture that we live in now The marketing hype the endless marketing machine You're not gonna have fun playing that Dobrik puzzle You just think you are like the hype around it destroys it How many people think he'll themselves we have to losing the dober puzzle This is my last shot Uh, David Dobrik dealing with bad PR as his puzzle responsible for a rash of suicides That's the other thing. It's like, what are these people going to just start uploading photos of themselves blowing their brains out like

Starting point is 00:42:35 Hey, Jeffrey star. You didn't pay my rent. Well, how about this? No hashtag no Lambo. Yeah Hashtag no Lambo or a guy that just blows his brains out in the Lambo I wanted red not blue. This wasn't enough. This wasn't enough. It didn't fill the hole And by the way, we're supposed to do some show where I interview these people like We're supposed to do a show like David Dobrik agrees to talk with me It is or the D'Amelio girls like I'm supposed to do this show like I'm in talks to do it And I'd love to do it

Starting point is 00:43:05 But like the idea that anyone is going to let these social media kids anywhere near me Like if these D'Amelio girls should have closed in like every store, they're like zillionaires They own tiktok. They've got 180 million followers combined or maybe more The if they are in a room with me There have been failures on every level of their pr strategy Like that means that nobody's paying a tech like nobody's done their job That means like you've not only breached the White House lawn. You're in the oval office with a loaded gun

Starting point is 00:43:35 Do you think someone gets fired or was it a course of the season if you do this season? Someone everyone If you're a pr company you use this as a way to get in with them and go Tat Dylan fuck up. I mean clean the fucking house. Who is this fat fuck? He's got 300,000 followers He's talking to your daughter about 9 11 Your daughter's america sweetheart. She's got fucking Ira postal jeans This fucking idiot's there doing bits about Rudy Giuliani

Starting point is 00:44:06 and 9 11 In front of your daughter's 9 11 more Going to different boutiques. I mean or like dope like there's no way in hell dobricks coming on a show Because my first question to him would be like You seem to be like a willy wonka for poor people. How did this happen? How did this happen and I don't well tim well, I'd like to talk to you about it What is he like? What is even his main is like this is all gimmicks, right? But what's his main gig?

Starting point is 00:44:37 He's a youtuber. Okay, so it's just like I just want to talk to you about my youtube show, right? What is even the content of dope? I think he made funny cute vine videos that people liked and now he does You know putting things in his mouth. I don't know what they do will sasso Listen every time I try to watch any of these youtube videos It's youtubers talking about what they're doing And none of them are ever doing like they're like, all right, so today it's day in the life super excited for this video So we're waking up today now. I'm brushing my teeth now. I have my guy Now I have my assistant and my I'm here in a mansion

Starting point is 00:45:11 My assistant is gonna take my dog for walk and I'm like, how did this all start like how do you get to mansion? Like every youtuber I watch I guess I got to go earlier because now they're also famous everything they're doing is interesting Because they're so rich right so like hey, I have a golden toilet and then that's the video But I'm like, how did this all come together like what's the early work? Show me your early work before he did level you go. Well, I gotta be honest with him. I led a wealthy rich men pistol over me Yeah, but I don't but I would I would I would understand right but no, I think I think these guys are brilliant. Listen at some point On this planet talent became offensive I don't know when but at some point somebody who became you could almost you know, maybe it was these like american idol type shows

Starting point is 00:46:00 Maybe it was something where talent became like weird like maybe it was like looking behind the scenes at talent Nobody wanted to do that Everybody just wanted to see judy garland come out and sing somewhere over the rainbow Nobody needed to know she was a pillhead and a drunk and beat her daughter Like there's a certain point when the e true hollywood story got too much people like, you know what enough We don't really need to see all of the shit that went into this I always think about it like I'll be laying in bed at night going at what point did people just decide We don't want talent to be plenty more, but it said happened at a certain point people go

Starting point is 00:46:32 We don't want any van halen. Yeah. Yeah, you show bogey. Yeah He's fucking It's too fast You didn't like it and it was coked out. They finally came to him. It's like enough. We'll just we'll have a who you know But at some point I maybe was susan boil when she came that was like this ugly woman who sang No, she's so down. We don't care. It's just melted everyone's head. They're like, we don't want any of that I don't know when it was but at a certain point people like we don't want to so what they wanted was like this

Starting point is 00:47:05 Relatability make me feel comfortable Shane Dawson like Not great looking decent looking not like not not horrific looking but like very average across the board guy Not that funny not that talented idea But was open and let you see everything about his life And and you they were selling access to their lives and all of their thoughts and all of their feelings and And how they interacted with the world and I guess that's what people at a certain point That's when people started to find interesting. They're like, I just want a friend. I don't want somebody's talent

Starting point is 00:47:39 I don't know when that happened and not to take anything away from these people right not take anything away from dobrik I'm sure there are talents there. You don't get that big with that certain kind of talent But I think the main thing was that these people just had a real Insatiable need to post their lives online and the people connected with I think it's also I look at it They're proud of the time But I think that the it wouldn't exist if it wasn't for the weird appetite on the people Well, of course and like it's like they were at some point you could your dad couldn't yell at you You couldn't make you feel stupid and like it was like everything had to be soft and like I'm not put

Starting point is 00:48:16 I'm not trying to go nerf the world everyone can I'm not in cell I'm just saying but there was a certain point where like you had to kind of take it on the chin a little bit right and my these kids don't it's like it's like variations of the whole You know Participation trophy horseshit. Maybe we want to call it and so like this coddled. It's kind of never worked when we were kids I mean we would have uh, no, it's it's coddling, but it's something deeper than that something strange I don't know what it is. I I I think about it all the time. It's not simply that

Starting point is 00:48:47 Um, I think that plays a part in it that sets a cultural 100 tone But there's something there's something going on Where people are watching other people open gifts that they didn't get right? There's something going on where people are watching someone eat food like a muck bank just Gorge themselves with food And they don't care about literature They don't care about movies. They don't really music is whatever but like they're they're they're

Starting point is 00:49:16 Passing your time by watching someone gorge themselves With large quantities of food And I don't know if it's sexual if it's a repressed desire I don't know what deep dark weird shit is going on in our minds That this type of content is appealing to people, but it really is appealing to people It's like a blanket a muck bank is a blanket. Is it I don't I never got into them. Are they good? They're not cool. Look, here's the thing about muck banks at least ones I've watched Is they're done by these guys like stony shout the stony who was just a small guy who's a competitive eater

Starting point is 00:49:51 Stony from one guy in the comedy scene. I don't think so. I think it's just some dude Who's like a pound like a hundred big guys paid us used to do a ton of them Oh, yeah, you know, he's just got to think one like he's one of the he competes in the coney island kind of I'm just saying like It's not so it's not it's the guy doing it doesn't seem sad. He's a skinny guy He's doing it competitively quote-unquote whatever that means You know just life is like but I mean there's a whole but the person watching it is some like either fat person or like person

Starting point is 00:50:20 Is fat at heart and they like it's it's the lack of Filter it's like it's like, you know when they go to mcdonald's I can only have if I even go I have one big mac maybe two but this guy just it's it's the lack of No one's telling them. No is that there's a deep Something's happening where it's like we're allowed to see this now And I think maybe before we weren't allowed to see it, you know, there wasn't this community of people There wasn't this platform to view this stuff I mean a lot of it's like the smr is sexual for people the sounds the feelings the way they feel

Starting point is 00:50:56 I mean, I feel weird sometimes when I hear them, but I don't know if it's sexual Like but I feel like a weird chill sensation whatever people claim Like however many people claim it as a Omni ass I think it's like 1% of them are actually Like it's one of those things where it's like people like because look it sounds pleasant, right? It's not like you you're fucking playing with like, you know razors in your hands and you're cutting your hands going

Starting point is 00:51:19 No, it's just weird, but I like this. No, it's a pleasant thing They go this doesn't for me people don't understand people self self-diagnosing themselves Well, tiktok is fascinating right because tiktok seems to be divided into Two camps you have the the cringy tiktok where it's just crazy people doing shit, right? And then you have like the young hot kids dancing and mirrors, right? I mean We understand that like that's just kind of a rebranding of teeny by here's my thing Culture now seems more than ever Generated or determined by 12 year old girls

Starting point is 00:51:53 Like that's what's very interesting to me some of the Beatles No, yeah, no, no, no, of course. Of course. So what the fuck's wrong with our 12 year old girl? That's my call. Yeah That's my question. That's the interesting question. That's the question. Yes. Yeah, it's because the beat from the Beatles to somebody dancing In a house when the kids have such low standards Yeah, exactly and was it really 12 year old girls that like the Beatles or they're a little old But I get what you mean. You're not contingent of that. You're not wrong. It is that's what I mean like the culture

Starting point is 00:52:25 Like adults seem to don't really determine much of the culture No, I mean it was the extent that they do it was like beloved underground, which was their influential But no one's chasing them down the airport. But I mean like the people right now in the 30s. What are they determined? I guess podcasts I guess that's huge the MMA stuff the fucking you know, who's watching right, you know supplements and the You know, whatever and like the the weird political discourse the smbc that goes nowhere that's look Is it any better in the day? Is that even better than the fucking kids dancing in the mirror? I think that's a problem. The problem is the futility

Starting point is 00:53:00 That is out there. Like there really is no hope. Right. I don't I think It's a new theme for the tim dillon show everybody. We're breaking new ground. It's another tell them what they want It's another there is no hope. No, but I really feel like it's just apparent that even the least of the people that like Oh, yeah, like people have been talking about how screwed up this whole system is for decades now and nothing changes We had we had Obama who seems like he would be the guy who changed you didn't change Like it's even they don't understand why or how or they don't understand the power structure per se But like they get that they're like, oh, it's all kind of fake. It gets more fake every year and so

Starting point is 00:53:38 It breaks the brain in a certain way where like you don't like why would you care about it? Right, you know Some guy who's just you know part of the record companies. It's all well something happened to me I bought that dumb babe hoodie for the sketch. I did where I played the rapper was not a rapper. What was I playing an influencer? And I put the hoodie on I'm in the babe store You know, nobody treats you nice as a plus size man buying clothes unless you're in the babe store And you have lovely black man came out to me He goes you you look fresh as fuck right now and I was like, thank you. That's the first compliment

Starting point is 00:54:08 I'd ever gotten in a clothing store And I put that hoodie on and I look ridiculous, right? I look like a candy cane. I got my rents with and I something happened to me As soon as I put the hoodie on like I didn't I was like I still have it I'm still gonna wear it occasionally. Sure. I I put it on I started saying life is meaningless But why not like look like a ridiculous person? And walk down the street and be a hype beat like I almost understood hype beasts Right because I'm like, oh, here's a community that I'm now a part of I wasn't a part of it

Starting point is 00:54:38 Then I just put on this dumb sweatshirt and some guys like you look good and like I could have started talking to him I could have been like, what are you getting? What are you thinking about? Who's got what drop and you're like, oh, I kind of understand Why you know that culture is appealing to people the the alternative is the same the alternative, right? No, I I will find out who did 9-11 I don't care how many decades it takes. I love that's the world that we've decided It's hype beast or who did 9-11 like those are your two choices like being right like all right kids So you could grow up to be a hype beast or you could launch an investigation to 9-11

Starting point is 00:55:14 your choice The old the difference the alternative is I'm gonna fix it or I'm gonna buy this hoodie, right? so that's the thing because there is like at a certain point It's not even giving up on the conspiracy thing It's like at a certain point Did they figure out that if you can kind of create a binary that like good Things change in this country, you know in the first half of the 20th century and like in the 60s to 70s They got real changed on to a certain extent and I think but it was like slower or incremental people like, you know

Starting point is 00:55:41 Didn't make it. It wasn't like kind of led by You know a lot of like lawyers give up their time and like and then and people were activists for years You know it's like and now it just seems much more like all at once You have been you fizzle out and lose and then just kind of You don't have the in-between of just kind of it's normal. It's normal that we all kind of like patiently work for things No, it's just like everything or nothing So it's like yeah It's just how they keep a grip. It's like, you know if you want to be uh, you know go

Starting point is 00:56:09 You can go on You know in public and be a fuck, you know, you can kind of be a loud mouthpiece for a while But it's not gonna sustain the world is so ridiculous and when I put on that hoodie I'm like, oh, well, I'm just taking my place in insanity now Yeah, you know in the way in a way that I kind of like understood and it resonated with me immediately because I'm like You know, you're listening to the motto talk is cock sucker this crook. This motherfucker truly, honey This motherfucker and you realize that really is what it is

Starting point is 00:56:38 Like, you know, Trump doesn't pay anybody a body needs a cock sucker crook like and you're like, oh, there's that which is kind of the way it is and that you could either live in that and God bless you Try to wade through those murky waters and keep your soul. God love you Or you could just kind of buy a ridiculous hoodie. I mean, how many people are even capable? Like people this is myth that like life is more than the nice meals and the cigars and the women and the men and whatever the Fuck it is the sensory things that like

Starting point is 00:57:10 Even if you are Jimmy Page or David Bowie, I mean, how much more satisfied is David Bowie? I'm sure he's a little he's something more to look at. Um, of course, he's more accomplished than but like how much happier Or even just if you're not happy, it's just like how much more like fulfilled is he? I don't even know like it's like people are often like kind of unhappy I guess people that feel, you know, when you think about honor and bravery and risk and all these great virtue and all these things that life is supposed to be about but then you go in in the In the world that we've created, you know, I'm not saying it's impossible to display those virtues I'm sure there are ways to do it. It doesn't help when veterans like can't get health care

Starting point is 00:57:51 Right, right. You know your wheelchair. Why can't your wall? Yeah, what happens to your leg? I mean like it's just like we're subliminally like There is and then you have like tina 40 my favorite out there. Motherfucker trump 2020 motherfucker She's my favorite person because like She's just selling stop the steel hats and trump forever socks and like she's just like go to my online store Everyone's got an online store like I get it But I mean that's why it's like my thing. I'm like I do a podcast and think it's funny By the merch we come up with funny merch and shit like that

Starting point is 00:58:27 But like I'm never going to tell you like hey guys It's going to be okay And it and here's why it's going to be okay because you're going to go to the online store Like tina tina 40s like her like everything dovetails together. It's like go to the online store the revolution's here We're packing the streets. We're going to every state capital trump 2020 motherfucker. I'm like there's no There is no trump 2020 was a little trump thing just seems to sell hats I don't I don't even know if we find out he made a like a few billion selling those hats Maybe the whole thing's merch

Starting point is 00:59:03 What if the entire trump presidency was a merch operation? Just a crazy merch operation like he should he showed melk. He's like i'm the granddaddy of merch What is his post presidency look like if you could guess? I mean you got look you buy into this shit He's going to be like this big, you know figurehead in the republican party. I don't know what no Look, he might still run for years. He's crazy. No, he might but either way He's either going to live in trump tower Or he might I don't want like fall for like the the the grift that like oh

Starting point is 00:59:36 They're going to actually arrest them and do all this shit But they might and like he might be smart to get out of here and go like to somewhere With you know less extradition. I don't think he's going to do that. I don't think biden Wants that and I also don't think I mean, I don't think they're going to do that. I think that I think he Decompresses yeah sobers up not from booze. He doesn't drink or any of that But I think sobers up from the idea like I probably moved to like permanently tomorrow lago I think i'll move permanently tomorrow luck. I think what'll kill him is not going to those rallies I think those rallies were everything they were they never had that before

Starting point is 01:00:10 He never had those you know He's like it's seen like he was always a grifter and like a He became a god. Yeah, but he never had the like in person like fucking like the crowd Well, he never became a god and you know me and you touched on this years ago The the greatest thing about trump I think or the the magic was the implausible becoming the plausible The idea that he was winning the idea that he won the idea that he was the president It's a fairy tale. Right. It's a fairy tale. It's an american fairy tale, right? Now when a guy like him is not the president. Yeah

Starting point is 01:00:47 It's almost like what are we doing? You know You seem more and more like a crank And it's not fun. Yeah because the crank is no longer the president Like you're just a guy yelling. Oh, yeah In people kind of gonna be like how are we gonna be invested in this because there's you know Well, like I don't think he does trump tv I don't think he does. He does think he's running in 2024. He does think that he's not gonna but he thinks now

Starting point is 01:01:14 I mean like I hope probably be dead by then like he's good. Look, he I really do feel like he What's keeping him going is like adrenaline and like he's taking a lot of ad role allegedly uh And look, I'm just saying like he doesn't seem If trolling if trolling we've always about how like these some of these guys these deep state guys always seem to live And they're like well, they eat the good food and they they take care of themselves with great doctors And then we have a guy like this who's just eating trash every day. He's just taking drug stuff

Starting point is 01:01:41 It's like but maybe it's the greatest drug is narcissism like you realize maybe we realize that's the ultimate survival Nobody wants to hear that right but the ultimate survival mechanism is to just be a soulless narcissist for your entire life You know like that's just gripping to life. That's the way to survive everything from covet to fucking everything He's just gonna he's gonna fatter. Right. He's gonna play golf every day. Like it's not gonna be remarkable He's gonna still gonna play golf and get fat Uh fire off a tweet every now and then he'll probably tweet all the time. It'll probably cranked out. Yeah, and people are gonna ignore him now Yeah, it's just gonna be like We're gonna remark how we're gonna at one point say wow

Starting point is 01:02:19 We underestimate how much damage you could still do We'll have to say that at some point. Yeah, maybe he will. He will call something I mean, maybe I don't know. I'm I'm really wondering what's what's that still from? I don't these are my work makes me have them the butcher shop I work at. Oh, yeah, has me a screen savers on my computer. I mean I just don't know But you know Biden and Kamala man They're gonna They're gonna put people in jail. You think oh

Starting point is 01:02:50 I don't know what they'll do. I think we'll probably go to getting into a war soon We might need that You know, we need that We're not getting out of this economic thing without a few little skirmishers That's a pretty huge problem. We don't get out of a war. There's the myth and I'm talking about the Henry Haslett like Window fallacy. Yeah, that's a different thing. I'm gonna we've had perpetual war for like 60 years now 75 years You don't get like he doesn't really juke the economy anymore Like it worked in World War II because we didn't have all the stuff right to build it now

Starting point is 01:03:20 We like we we keep well it does juke the economy for certain sexers, right? So I mean, look He's the thing you we had it's kind of getting it backwards The economy is set up in such a way where you have to fight wars every 10 years or so Just to pleat the stock pile so that you can these companies who run the economy That's what I mean. We got you gotta you gotta play that's just to keep the status quo You gotta it's reverse. It's reversed. You got to play to pay It's not pay to play you got to play to pay and I think we got to play a little bit So we're gonna pay later. I mean, I don't know but that's just to keep that sector from imploding

Starting point is 01:03:54 That's not even to get it like going. How do you feel you'll get old? I thought about this the other day. Do you go to the woods to you know? I was thinking about this the other day and I go, how am I gonna get old? I'm an Eagles guy, so I'll go to the woods. Yeah Do you ever think to yourself like getting a nice house in a wood like how do you I would love to have like an upstate in york or right You know something more like Vermont. I mean, it's a little cold. I mean, I prefer somewhere It's super cold, but you know me and ben got to decide what we're gonna go if we're gonna stay in LA

Starting point is 01:04:18 Go to texas wherever we're gonna go texas can be nice. I mean like I like to start hunting Yeah We're just having like I would like to do more shit in nature. I would like to get out of Like I'm in new york for the last couple of days and man, I love new york to death But like I walk around the city and I go there's no part of me that could even ever consider living here again Sure I just think can you I look at these people running down the streets and coats and hat and I'm like god Whatever this was it felt it. I'm done with this place in in every way. You can work as an omni corporal over the

Starting point is 01:04:50 But when you're hunting out there in the montana, can you throw grenades at deer's? Yes, that seems fun. Yeah I might want to do that. I would like I would like to use a good like a grenade launcher Yeah, so we could kind of really get some cover some ground Can you shoot a deer with a potato gun in the head like we kill them probably right your potato gun is I don't think there's much you can't do to it. I think if you want to fuck a deer to death, you could I don't know if I have the stamina for them. I need to I think dude, what if you went on rogan and that's all you asked her You're like, can you shoot a deer with a potato gun? I don't think so

Starting point is 01:05:22 Oh, what happened? I don't know ma'am You know think about deer's ma'am You could hurt them, but they're very strong animals and uh, what if I made it eat a rock would it die? Wait, the problem is you can't get near the ma'am Can't get near the ma'am It's very tough. So I don't bring marshland to the woods because it's very hard ma'am. You can't get near Can't really get near them. So I mean, I think what you would have to do you set a little fire. Maybe can you set a deer on fire?

Starting point is 01:05:48 Well, there's definitely local laws That will prevent that ma'am like there's definitely Laws that are you know specific to each region They're gonna prevent that activity because what they want to do is create um You know a kind of a safe environment for hunters to keep these animal populations thriving So let me ask you a question. Have you ever been out there and let me ask you a question

Starting point is 01:06:13 You're you're incredibly fat ma'am Have you ever thought of getting on a ketogenic diet doing very high protein low carb low sugar You know start doing interval training, you know kind of building muscle doing a lot of cardio heavy cardio things like that No, uh, not really Now let me ask you when you go out in the woods and you see what you see do you ever say I hate this particular deer? I hate it. I wanted to die I think emotion is a huge problem when you're in that situation and what you have to really do is remember The mechanics of what you're doing

Starting point is 01:06:48 And I think anybody that gets too emotional ma'am. It's bad. That's a bad idea, ma'am Because what really happens is it just clouds your you think I can still do the show after I've done this invitation It's not even a good invitation You think you think you think you can I do the show you think I'm allowed to do the show now I don't know ray kump. It's always great to have you on we're gonna try to do a new year's live stream You're still down to come out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely We don't know how we're gonna do it. We're trying to figure that out. It's difficult Uh, we may just end up doing it on youtube

Starting point is 01:07:23 um I think we'll probably do something like that. I think At this mall, I don't want to hit people over the head for more money Right now because we just did merch and people supported that and I appreciate that And people support us on patreon all the time support ray kump on patreon 2 We'll put we'll put his links in the description of our user help. Thank you, but I I was just he doesn't he's i'm sitting right now. He's he's a massive Small part kidding. Well, no one thought it was massive. No one thought I wasn't doing it. I'm not rich

Starting point is 01:07:55 Yeah, no one thought I wasn't doing it bad. No one was like, I knew it Nobody thought you were living in the money the vault from duck tails Um Yeah, I can't I can't reach the top drowning in the gold. Yeah, I was like you would launch pad maca doing backstroke and gold coins But I think we might just do a youtube, you know two two and a half hour live stream on new year's eve And then maybe we'll turn on some super chats. Maybe people could throw us some money, but I just I want to kind of Give people a break. It's been a shitty year. It's been very hard There's a lot of people out there that don't have money and I just don't want I don't want to like fucking ask people to pay

Starting point is 01:08:32 I think if people don't have any fucking money and everything that we do in the future by the way It's like even if we do do any of these live events with tickets We're also going to have a situation where if you don't have the money you can email And watch it for free, you know, which is the right thing, you know, but I mean My agent told me that he goes we got a he goes sam harris does it like this We're like his fans if they can't afford it. There's an email and I go listen You know how many people are gonna do that I'm looking at you like what what are we doing here? My fans will do that for the sake of doing it

Starting point is 01:09:08 They'll be like, yeah, doing some fake business But yeah, I mean, I think we're gonna go that route of the life It's just too complex to to get anything else ready But I do think we're eventually gonna start, you know, put together a platform where we can do You know taking it events kind of like Segura or Bernadine or we can do a three other thing that I hate about youtube is that we can't Stream what we want in terms like we can't play clips from things can't play any Music or really clips from pop pop culture bullshit or any other youtube channel

Starting point is 01:09:39 But I think on certain platforms you can do all of that stuff But it costs a lot of money To build out those platforms or whatever set them up So you do, you know, you charge people it is what it is people buy a ticket and then they get like a three hour No holds barred completely uncensored live stream where we could play any clip Do anything talk about it and it makes a lot of sense I just don't know if we're gonna have that together by new years. I imagine we're not So imagine we're just gonna kind of have to do it on youtube and deal with the content restrictions

Starting point is 01:10:10 Yeah, we should be playing anyway Well, we we say we're gonna play clips and we play like a minute But we could I think it'd be really fun to play a certain show eventually we'll do it But I'm saying like we'll we'll still be good without the clips. It'll be great without What are you doing on new year's eve? Anyway, folks, who are you gonna watch? I was gonna I was gonna separate time and rate, but uh, no, they can't play. You know the beaver. What are you gonna play at? Can you imagine we do have one fan It's like totally like we always think of a great character

Starting point is 01:10:39 It's like hype beast chris hedges Like a guy that he's like our corporate overlords, but he loves sneakers Like he's a hypey. He realizes everything's fucked and why he's like the oligarchy and the plutocrats But he just loves sneakers and hoodies. He's a fresh. Yeah, he's fresh. He's like I just look so goddamn fresh He's like, I know I'm I'm serving the plutocrats and the oligarchs that have hollowed out all of our institutions, but I look so fresh um but um

Starting point is 01:11:07 Yeah, but what are you gonna do play the dober puzzle on the years you're gonna what you're gonna you're not going out You're gonna need to fucking do something cool. We'll just get some kid who's dead is no longer with us because the dober puzzle So what was your last memories of your dad? He was playing the puzzle Did he dead win He's winning What was his last He fired off one final tweet to jeffree star

Starting point is 01:11:36 Said favorite discs is giving me money Dude, should I start tweeting to jeffree star like under dummy accounts like Horrific things like hi jeffree I was right when I was nine years old I've the trauma of that Has just made me unable to You know, I worked at a factory. I lost my arm jeff. Let go. It's what's it's what get a car Who did you see feel give me five grand? Okay

Starting point is 01:12:07 I was ripped by a bunch of animals literal deers Hey I mean like it's just funny because like jeffree star looks at those things. He's like, yeah, I don't know that doesn't really But I think That doesn't speak to me. Your tragedy doesn't speak to me today Is he like a makeup guy? Yeah, they're all makeup guys. Everybody's a makeup guy Everybody's selling fucking makeup, man. It's amazing You know, we've talked about it on the show before that just I could use some makeup

Starting point is 01:12:39 Tell the people where they can find if they want to find you and they haven't found you already You need to listen to the cump podcast. It's become a It's getting a much bigger following people are loving it. It's grown into something You know a slightly rocky star, but it's grown into a really great absurd. This is the point the judge goes, sir There's a missing woman There's a missing woman and there's physical evidence connecting you to her disappearance Listen this podcast has become a linchpin of satirical, sir Once again, listen to me the cump podcast

Starting point is 01:13:15 So tell them about cump and then our love is disgusting. All I was discussing also I do with lucy steiner. There's something out out there like this. I mean tim's got a great thing going I do something different. It's not that great. Uh, also great. Um, but it's it's very funny. It's on different frequencies He's great. He goes tim's tim's got a good single, but he doesn't have any love in his life So he doesn't they can't even have love even if it's disgusting. He doesn't have it Well, uh, yeah, you saw for the cump patreon patreon.com slash raycump Uh, go to twitter merch. I am a wine princess bitch I am a wine princess bitch shirts available in cruise sweatshirts and t-shirts all that stuff people love them

Starting point is 01:13:50 Get for your I mean, it's it's a wine bottle with a machete and it's just Your wife loves it. I should get her own shirt for that phenomenal What do you Fuck his wife She has this shirt, what do you say? I should get her own shirt You keep your hands off his wool. Well, I don't know if like she wants a more form fitting. Yeah Will you leave her form out?

Starting point is 01:14:21 I should come over your house We measure her listen. Would your wife shit on me? Maybe she should poop on me So, you know twitter instagram at raycump, uh, yeah, you know, there's a whole world of comp out there come join Come join the world of comp. Yeah, I mean, what do we have to plug Ben? Do we have anything? Patreon account of Tim Dillon show for uh additional bonus content Uh, the merch is closed. We appreciate that. We'll be back and maybe the spring will do a drop We have some cool ideas cool design shit like that new studio being designed

Starting point is 01:15:01 We do apologize that this is another non video episode our next episode will be video from our new studio Will our sign be ready? So we'll that's going to be a new episode from our new studio very excited about that that was just built and designed And this is our episode from new york city with raycump in Brooklyn parting thoughts closing words. What are you telling people the holidays are coming up? You'll be around for new years. You could give them some thoughts on that but I mean for that for the christmas holiday

Starting point is 01:15:32 What what what what are you telling the people for the Hanukkah in the quonson? stop looking for meaning in corporate entertainment And in corporate sex, you know these corporate models find someone who will touch you willingly And just in caress them and sing to them let them sing to you like me and by the only by shirts Beautiful by merch if you want if that fulfills you but just Find out who you are at your core and then just you know as gross as it may be

Starting point is 01:16:03 You don't have there is there's no more the patina is gone. You don't have to hold yourself towards there's no don draper There's no tom cruise You know he tom cruise is screaming at some guy because he's you know not wearing a mask and on the submission impossible Just be who you are eat buffalo wings, you know yell at your kid And just you know like love your wife love your husband who gives a shit Were you instructed to defend it to answer the question when he saw when he last saw the victim alive? When did he last see? the victim alive

Starting point is 01:16:35 He could stop all the talk about the patina And everything going on When did you last see the victim alive? Was she in your car? advice of council But then you just started going right back to me like Who we are so important Francis got key once you know, it's interesting. We've never been a jail. I've never been a jail. I've never gone to prison

Starting point is 01:17:01 Uh, like you as a prisoner. You mean you're just been I've never been in no I've been in a jail. I've been in a salve. Right the lessons by the license But like it's gotta be something interesting about doing a doing time in prison. I don't want to I don't want to do it I mean, I've had like I spent you know a day You know the better part of a day in prison or jail And you you get a taste of that. I don't know. It's just it's kind of crazy how it's something where Like you spend your whole life thinking of it. Something's always in your head even though like we Privilege and all that we didn't have to it's not but like it's still it's something that hangs over your head

Starting point is 01:17:32 And then when you're actually there though, it's something about the like the tedium of that day It's like, oh, this must be the worst thing in the world for like for you know, two years if you're there for you know prison's bad is my point Is it No, I know I don't know where I was going with that. I'm just I just try to like to work out ideas and I thought maybe I just can't you think maybe you'd like to go to prison. Is that your point? No, I just think that like white Women will eventually start going on vacations to prisons like they'll make angola into like a bed and breakfast And the like people just have like they'll be eating it like, you know, you know, I've talked about this before in the show

Starting point is 01:18:07 But like there's definitely gonna be a time when they like Like debt the the the the the electric chairs like people doing selfies in it and like, you know They did that in Alcatraz prisoners. Yeah, they did that. Absolutely. Prison is so weirdly inhumane. Obviously you need prisons but like it's just one of these archaic things where you know It really does just destroy people. Oh, yeah, look, it's just You you need them for a certain percentage of the population Which is a fraction of what it is now like it's just you know, I mean like it's just it's so obviously like

Starting point is 01:18:38 It's run for profit. It's run Like, you know This lobby is to keep certain laws in place to keep certain people into prison. It's not not just the private prisons It's just a whole it's a it's a huge racket. Um It's just another you know segment of the economy and the government in the middle like like the military You know, it's like once the military industrial complex became a thing Then you had to find the reason to fight wars and once the prison thing became it You had to find reason to keep you know people in prison

Starting point is 01:19:05 It's just you know and like the the police Uh guard lobbies will like lobby against like, you know pot smoking being legal There's no even like yeah, there's no correlation other than you want more prisoners. Right. I love that The the the what is it the corrections officers would be like we want we don't want poppy and legal Right. Yeah, it's like it's just literally like the only argument you can make is like well, it's really less jobs for us It's just when the pope every few years the pope, uh, since people did you see the pope liked at instagram? Like he liked some chick on only fans or something some instagram

Starting point is 01:19:38 Yeah, and he's like a kind of trouble. Why does he even have an actual like account? No, dude There's something happened the pope uses the pope account unless it's a total fake story the pope liked A girl on instagram or something There's probably honestly some dude who runs the pope's account Who also has another thing on his phone and he flips the profile right because I don't imagine The pope being allowed to use the I don't think the pope dates women or you know, yeah, yeah, that pope is uh There's so much about how good of a guy he is. That's why I think the pope's like a little hoodie But the pope the the vagabond sends what if the little honey started dating the pope?

Starting point is 01:20:17 Is that allowed what we're going to such help and what is it? Yeah, the pope liked an only fans bikini fan, yeah I thought of one instagram. I don't think the pope by the way. Here's what's crazy. That's the healthiest thing that's ever happened to the catholic church What's about to come out about the pope? Yeah, the how many he's a heterosexual that likes women Like that's that that's the healthiest thing the catholic church has ever had Uh, this whole school is about to whistle blow on the pope. All right. Go like some, you know, panel Anderson Yeah, yeah, go like some. Yeah, imagine that right? That's so funny Yeah, uh, this pope is involved in this horrible rape scandal with this, uh, girl school in Sierra Leone

Starting point is 01:20:58 It's like, hey man, just go like a couple of some gash on instagram. I love Bella Donna. Yeah, she really gapes Throw him off the set. What's the pope's name? Pope Francis you got to throw him off the set Go like Bella Thorne's fucking bikini picture right now Throw him off the set so when these 19 kids come out and say they've witnessed you fucking sacrificing their friends You have a fucking alibi Like the pope's like, oh, I'm just a man trying to get my dick wet You know

Starting point is 01:21:39 Wouldn't it be great if that was the pope's instagram like, you know, I would be This is just a pope. Dude, what about hype beast pope? He just starts coming out like bathing ape like pope clothes He's like, man, he's like, listen, he's like, I believe the salvation Then I put that fucking bathing ape hoodie on and I just said to myself The dude, what a great Futuristic novel where the pope is just a hype beast walking around Los Angeles just drugged out of his head Like that's like a brilliant novel that would win a pollitzer like the pope like like 200 years in the future The pope would not even like 10 10 years in the future. Let me calm that down

Starting point is 01:22:16 Four years in the future. The pope is a hype beast Who's just walking around Los Angeles getting high With a cannabis company All right, everybody. Thank you for listening. You guys are the best. We appreciate you and have a great holiday and play that doberk puzzle

The Tim Dillon Show - 231 - Giuliani And The River of Gold

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