The Tim Dillon Show - 233 - Airbnb War

Episode Date: January 3, 2021

This week Tim is at war with an Airbnb host, questions the pig head found on Nancy's doorstep, explains why the police couldn't stop the Christmas Bomber, and defends Hilaria Baldwin. Bonus Episodes every week: ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE ▶▶ https://www.bonfire.com/store/the-tim-dillon-show/ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬   SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS:   🩳 UNDERWEAR: Order with PROMO CODE Tim30 to save 30% ▶▶ https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ 🔒 VPN: Get three months free ▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon 🥣 CEREAL: Use code TimDillon for free shipping! ▶▶ https://magicspoon.com/timdillon 🔵 BLUE CHEW : Use promo TD ▶▶ https://bluechew.com/ 🤖 MANSCAPED: Use code TIMD ▶▶ https://www.manscaped.com/ 👨‍🦱 HAIR LOSS: ▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon 📦 SHIPPING: Enter code TIMDILLON ▶▶ https://www.shipstation.com/ 🎧 HEADPHONES: For 15% off! ▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim 🤳 COLOGNE AND SKINCARE: Use code TIM ▶▶ https://hawthorne.co/ 🛏️ BEDS: ▶▶ https://helixsleep.com/timdillon 🚗 INSURANCE: ▶▶ https://gabi.com/timdillon 🚬 QUIT SMOKING: Use code TIM: ▶▶ https://lucy.co ⚓ NICK DAVIS'S PODCAST (BELOW DECK) ▶▶ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/another-below-deck-podcast/id1216741721 💆THERAPY ▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMD 📦 BOX OF AWESOME ▶▶ http://boxofawesome.com use code TIMDILLON at checkout for 20% off   ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬   𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ 🐦 Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon 🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows 📹 Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC161r7ShBvMxfyzCtiSMRbg Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds   ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬   ▶▶ Ed McMahon [e-mail] https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood   ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ #TheTimDillonShow   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. I feel I have 104 fever. I have a dry cough. I have shortness of breath. I have blood clotting. And I refuse to get tested. And I refuse to change my behavior. And I don't know if I have COVID, but I have a dry cough.

And I have blood clots. And I have tightness of chest and shortness of breath. And I have 104 fever. And I have blue toes. And I'm speaking perfect Mandarin, which is amazing. I wake up every day. I speak perfect Mandarin. I don't know what I have.

The jury is out. No, I'm kidding. I do feel horrible, though, because Ray has been here for a week. And I mean, this has been, this week I've been so, I've treated myself worse this week. It is ballsy in a pandemic. People don't realize what balls is anymore in this country.

It's ballsy during a pandemic to eat ice cream cake and smoke a pack of cigarettes every day. It's ballsy. There is no ER, like OR, whatever, ICU. I don't even know what these, but no one, there's no capacity. If you show up to a hospital in California now, they just smack you across the face. And every day I'm eating ice cream cake and cigarettes

because Raymond is here. And I mean, it's just a celebration, you know? He drinks, what is that, a liter, what is that? A two liter of the diet sodas. Like three times a day. Diet coax, yeah. Well, and he loves the ciggies. Loves them.

And it's hard. It's hard. I got, we went to Coldstone and got two ice cream cakes for New Year's after the New Year's thing we did. A lot of fun. Thanks to Tina 40. Alex was dark. It was dark.

Some people commented. It was a little dark, you know? He said the vaccine had jellyfish in it. I don't know. People are going to get mad. You should have pushed back. You didn't debate them. Yeah, man, I don't know.

I don't know how to have that argument. Imagine you were sitting there and a guy turns around and he goes, that vaccine has got jellyfish in it. Really the only thing you can say is, fuck, really? Is that, is that okay? And then he started talking about the Lazarus gene and a woman whose cells kept replicating at a lax. Yeah.

Henrietta lax. A black woman who was, was eaten by the blob. He was saying. Yeah. Where her cells turned into like, her cells are still alive. Yeah. But this has something to do with Fauci. Yeah.

I was confused, but I don't know anymore. I just don't know. I just know that I got to really stop eating ice cream cake and smoking butts every day. I mean, just, I burnt my mouth. My mouth feels horrible. My skin feels like it's cracking off my face. I mean, it's just bad. I just feel so unhealthy.

And that's why I'm making a change this year. I'm making a very big change and I'm switching to ultralights. I'm going to do a pack of, no, I'm kidding. My friend's father used to smoke those Marlboro ultralights. It was like air. Yeah. What's the point? You know?

They're like basics. Yeah. I just feel like garbage. And I mean, do they still make them? I don't think so. They still make the ultralight. I don't think so. No.

Yeah. It's an old school pack. I'm getting a personal trainer in here. I mean, my personal trainer got COVID. That's his level of commitment. He's that guy got COVID. I hired a trainer. He got COVID.

So this is where we're at. My personal trainer is sick. What am I supposed to do except go to cold stone and get two ice cream cakes and a pack of Marlboro lights and eat ice cream cake and Marlboro lights in the back? And that's real ball. That's badass. Shit. People think badass shit is throwing parties.

I'm, I'm taking as many chances as any of these tick talkers throwing a big orgy. I'm sitting in my backyard smoking cigarettes with my morbidly obese friend. Who's what? Do you see four? Five? Four or something. Yeah. I mean, what are you going to do?

It's, it's you're, you're, you're really taking a risk with your life and I can't live like that. I feel horrible. You feel really bad when you eat like the worst food ever. You feel bad. I just feel bad. My throat, my nose, I just, everything about me. You felt kind of bad the other night.

Yeah. I felt bad this morning. Yeah. I mean, you just feel like shit and you want to do yoga. I mean, I'm living in LA. I should be doing yoga. I should be in the sun. I should be outside not to smoke to fucking, you know, I should be spray painting Nancy

Pelosi's garage. What did they say on her garage? No one's canceling rent. I mean, you know, listen, all these things would be nice, but 2k cancel rent. We want everything with a pig and some blood. Well, it's nice that these people calm down after Trump lost, huh? That was what I thought would happen. By the way, hey, egg on my face, but I get it because this, you know, these people have

done nothing for anybody. So if this is real and this happened and it's not Nancy Pelosi out there doing it with her husband, she paid some neighborhood kid to come over and do this. She's like, we're getting, we're getting a little heat. Let's just, let's put some lamb's blood on the door here so we can get some sympathy points from people. But I mean, I get the rage and the anger at this woman. I, you know, I'm not a fan, but cancel rent.

We want everything. I mean, well, what do you think you're going to get? I mean, I don't even know anymore, but the $2,000 checks, are they coming? Who's getting them? Don't know yet. It's hilarious Baldwin getting too grand. I hope she does. Who cares that she wants to be a Hispanic?

It makes you interesting. It's nice. When someone puts on an accent, I like that being who you are is stupid. Truly be another thing. If you're not interesting, make yourself interesting. And she's like, she wanted to be like Penelope Cruz or Catherine Zeta Jones or one of them. It's Catherine Zeta Jones, Spanish. Let me see.

Well, whatever it doesn't matter. Let's not lose our fucking minds here. The point is that she wanted to be a Spanish lady. So what? She wanted to be a high class immigrant. Let her, let her be it. Stop getting mad at her. I'm, I defend her.

I defend her right to envision a different life for herself than the one she had. She married this psychopath millionaire and she goes, it's not good enough. Cause I go to parties and everyone goes, Oh, you're just this guy's bitch. I want to be something interesting. And you know, those white bitches love as someone is slightly different. White people love when someone is slightly different, which is what she is. It's slightly different. It's not that different.

She's not an MS 13. She's not in La Raza. And I'm not equating those two things. I'm just saying she's not selling, you know, mangoes. She's selling a, you know, a mango with paprika in Soho. She's slightly different, ever so slightly is she different. She's a few degrees away from a basic white bitch. Let her be it.

She's not sister soldier. She's just different enough to make upper class white people. It's a little spice. It's a little spice. I don't see the problem with it. She's not going all the way here. She's just doing that. I don't know how you say cook.

It's cute. It's kind of cute. It's endearing. It's cute. It makes me like her more. The commitment to that is, is impressive to me. I'm impressed by her that she goes, I just want to be a little, she's clearly not Hispanic at all in any meaningful way.

But she just wants to be a little bit, people don't realize how hard it is to be rich. That's the problem. Too many people are focused on like, Oh, I don't have health insurance. My mom's dad. There's no appreciation for the struggles of the wealthy in this country. None. It's true. You know, it's too much focus on people without and not enough about people with.

Hilaria Baldwin is thrust into this world of very interesting, capable, intelligent people. And she's got no way to differentiate herself. She's a basic white bitch. She's a live, laugh, love, Chardonnay whore. And she just fucking lucked out with that Alec Baldwin, who's, you know, always, you know, telling his daughter, she's a pig and punching photographers and doing a horrible Trump impression, by the way, on that horrible show on Saturday night. You should watch this.

And she meets these people and they're endlessly fascinating. And they've had distinguished careers in the arts and politics or whatever. And she just wants to be a smidgen different, just a little different than a regular white bitch. She just wants to be a little cool and have people ask her, what was it like in Spain? What was that like? You're different from we are. Did you sit and paint little tiles and make tapas? Did you eat a jamon?

That's what she wants. She wants people to ask her and she would tell stories, probably fake little stories. And me and my grandmother, I'm not speak to her. And we go to the village and we make, we take the pig and we carve the pig into the jamon. That's all she wants to do. I'm in full support of her. Would it heal the country if the cops shot her? I'm a dude.

The aisle. I'm a dude. The style you like 41 times against Saks Fifth Avenue. Perhaps if the cops just shot her 41 times as she drops her bags at Bergdorf. Goodman and just empty, emptied into her. I mean, would, would people be happy with that? And perhaps, but I don't know. We don't have to keep shaming this woman for wanting to be slightly different.

What's the problem? I like it. Go right back to it. I hope she's Asian next. How interesting it would be. What if one of your friends just became Asian? You wouldn't respect them more. If I had a friend that became Asian, I would respect them so much more than I currently do.

Just found a way to like be Asian, like start looking Asian, dressing Asian, creating an entire identity as an Asian person, saying they grew up in Asia, saying they grew up in Japan when it was just provably untrue. That would be your coolest friend. Cause you'd be like, this person's Asian now. I knew her when she was an Asian and that's where we're going to add. I mean, somebody tweeted on Twitter the other day, gender is not a big deal. That's why nobody cares about transgender.

Why we all have to be the race we're born. Let people switch. Yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Let people be fluid, baby. Let people be. You want to be black and be black. You want to, you know, there's, you know, that's a mixed bag.

According to black people, they'll tell you, it's not all nice. But let people be Asian. I would like to be another race. Why do I have to be an Irish prick for my entire life? His red face, Irish, ranting goblin for my entire goddamn life. Why can't I be Castilian Spanish? They call him nice white Spanish. Or why can't I be Asian?

Why can't I be Russian? I don't understand that. And I think it's a stupid kind of fucking outdated thing. So I applaud her and, and whatever she wants to do, I support her. I think that fuck people get angry about this shit for no goddamn reason. I mean, she's just a little different. She's not, she's not like walking around trying to be a maid. She's not trying to be a lower class person.

She's trying to be upper. She's not, she's not stabbing our class in the back here. She's still going to garden parties and drinking fucking Viv Clico. She just does it with a little accent. It would be really gross if she like was pretending to be a maid or something, right? Cause we'd all be like, you don't have to do this bitch. It would be really bad if she was pretending to do something like that. But she's just putting on a little accent kind of the way Madonna did.

It's really not that big of a deal. Speaking of maids, my maid is as fat and as lazy as I am. What's the point of having her? She come the other day and I can't, she's in here, no mask. I don't know where she's been. She's in here the other day in my kitchen and we're both silently eating a pumpkin loaf. Not no one's cleaning. If I want it, I'm fat and lazy.

I don't need another fat and lazy person to just stare at me. You know, I mean, I don't know what to do with this woman. I like her and I tip her and I give her a lot of money, but she's slow and she just doesn't do much. She talks on the phone. She's on the phone. It's literally me. I'm bringing in another me to my house. She's on the phone all the time.

It takes her forever to go through, go through the house. I'm just, I'm importing another version of myself here, but that's not what Hilaria is doing. Hilaria is not, cause people ask me to talk about this. They're like, what's your take on it? I'm like, I think rich people should be able to pretend to be other races. I believe that. Sorry. Maybe that's not a popular take, but I believe it's fun and they should be allowed to do it.

And I think many people are going to disagree with me cause they're like, but she's not pretending to be like a poor oppressed per if she was doing black face and had dreads. I get it. It would be a little offensive. It would be offensive if she was in full black face with like a Bob Marley wig. And she's like, Hey, man, watch a duel. Like I understand that. Okay. But she's not doing any of that.

She's just pretending to be an upper class Hispanic person, which is just a few degrees to the left of what she is, which is just a basic white bitch. There's nothing wrong with that. I, I am for the ability of rich people and poor people. If they can pull it off. It's like Martin Norman has a joke about transgender people. It's like, you know, Caitlyn Jenner can do anything she wants. She's got the money. So I was like, if you're poor and you could pull off being another race, good for you.

But rich people should be able to, to try on another country's history. If they so choose. I don't see a problem with it. I don't see any problem. It doesn't bother me at all. I would love someone. If in the middle of a thick Russian accent, they whisper to me goes, listen, I decided to be Russian three years ago. I'm not Russian.

I decided to be Russian three years ago. And I came up with this whole backstory and it's, it's just fine. Life is too short to enforce these rigid roles on people. It's crazy. Many of you were offended by it because it's you. Why don't you cook up something good? You figure out how to do something. You know, what else is going on?

I just wanted to address that because I feel like people are being unnecessarily harsh. Immigrants are heading back to Mexico now. See, this is what I mean. If I saw Hilaria Baldwin with a bunch of coyotes in a van heading back to the border going, it didn't work. I would say this is a bit much, but she's not doing that. Years of anti-immigrant policies from the Trump administration have been magnified by insecurities resulting from the pandemic. I think it was more the pandemic. People are going back.

They're saying, let's go back to Mexico, which is a narco state on our southern border for good reason. It supplies us all this blow, by the way. There's no reason to have just a narco state on our southern border if we weren't propping that up and getting everything we want from it. It's our personal pharmacy sitting below America. And I'm sure somebody else has said that, but it's absolutely true. That's why we have a narco state there. So people can go and get there, go down to fucking Tulum and have a nice weekend. That's exactly what this is. So they're going back there.

And, you know, it's unfortunate, but, or I don't know, I don't know. It's, it's, it's all about, I don't care anymore. This is the problem with the news is I can't care anymore about any of it. It's like there's nothing going on to even care about anymore. Go come. I don't know. There was this that was interesting. National police defend response to the, yeah. Why? Because everyone's going to say the national bomber was white.

Yeah. And they knocked on his door twice and they gave up. Yeah. Listen, everybody, everybody in this country, here's why I'm not saying that police aren't racist, but here's the problem with this. Everybody in this country is, is, is, is three to four days away from detonating a bomb somewhere. That's every person. If the cops went to every, that's every commenter on my YouTube,

every person in America is three to four days away from just getting a fucking gun and going hog wild somewhere. It's just, we're on the edge. Everybody's on the brink. So they can't waste their time with every tip for every crazy dude who's fucking on the brink. I'm three to four days away and I'm doing okay. I'm doing well. And I'm three to four days away from building a bomb and detonating outside. It's Billy Eilish's house.

So what are you going to do? You're going to check me out on that. I'll probably get up on that fourth day and decide not to do it because I've had a McGriddle or something. I don't know, but most people are in lurid fantasies of murder. People in this country are only kept alive by two fantasies. One, getting really rich and two, burning it all down. Those are the only things people go to bed at night thinking about. Murdering everyone they know and having a fucking Lamborghini.

Those are the two things in America that unite us as a culture, literally the only two. That's the problem. It's like they tried to enforce that thing with kids, school shooters. Kids make lists of people they're going to kill. And they're like, we should, but yeah, but you should be allowed. You should be allowed to sit there in the back of your marble notebook and go, you know, I'd really like to blow their heads off. Steve, you know, Sharon, Paul, you're allowed until you do it,

until you load the gun and go in there and do it, this preventative shit gets a little creepy. Because most people are just fantasizing all the time about killing everyone that they know. That's absolutely true. And if you're not, well, God bless you, but you're missing out on the whole experience of America. The whole experience of America is thinking about getting away with the murder of your spouse, going nuts in your office and blowing everyone's brains out, or finding a way to fucking invest successfully in a timeshare. That's it. There's really nothing left to do psychologically in this country.

We are so drugged up on cheap food and booze and pills. We can barely see straight. We have no idea what's going on. We have no healthcare. We have no insurance. There's no education. People are fucking stagnant. Wages have stagnated for fucking decades. And you know, people have just jerked all the come out of their dicks. There aren't too many fucking pills to even come. They're just coming air. They can barely feel the sensation at the tip of their penis. Women have to shove fucking hot pokers in their vagina to get an orgasm.

The only thing we have left is to fantasize about the murder and destruction of our communities. Let us have it. You can't respond to everybody who talks a little wildly at a bar about settling scores. Because every day you just... Yeah, did you say you were going to show everyone at your office that you're a real fucking man and you were going to end this once and for all? I quote. You're going to get respect one way or the other? I quote. And you're not going to be happy? I quote.

And when you see what I'll do to you, you won't be happy. You better run, run. I'll kid. Like, it's just every day. So many fantasies of murdering people. And you can't... Now, obviously, maybe they should have done more. It clearly seems like it now. I mean, hindsight is always 2020, right? It's 2020.

But the fantasy life that we all have has been magnified by the internet. It's been magnified by our ability to tell other people about these fantasies and have them go, that's a good idea. But that's why you need comedy and that's why you need freedom of speech. That's why you need all of these spaces for people to release tension and say all this shit and get it out. So that they don't do it because a percentage of them are going to do it. But it's important for people to have these fantasies. You know what I mean? It's important, probably porn, even though porn has so many negative effects.

It's important to have a little porn so people don't, you know, put their wife's head in the bag. So they go, let me get off to something instead of making my wife do it. I shouldn't choke my wife till she turns blue. But if I watch somebody get choked till they turn blue, maybe I get it out of my system. That's porn. It's a fantasy life. It's not real. Sex doesn't feel like porn ever, really, unless you're amazing at it in great shape. Sex is different than the depiction of sex. As is murder, I've never murdered anyone, but it looks amazing.

Watching the life leave someone's eyes looks great. It looks amazing. You and a buddy, you and your best bud go and just fucking murder someone, you know? Just fucking blood everywhere and just fucking stabbing someone. But in real life, that activity is probably different. It feels different, right? But you should be able to fantasize about it. You need, you need these things. So it's hard to live in a free country where the cops are always supposed to respond to every fucking utterance of a person who's on a break, you know? How many people said they were going to spray Peyton Nancy Pelosi's garage and leave a pig head on it? Many. Probably many. But only one person did it, and her name is Nancy Pelosi.

You see? Many people wanted to do that, but Nancy Pelosi finally did it. Do you see how that works? So that somebody could be sympathetic and go, yeah, yeah, they're stealing all our money and they've destroyed the country, hollowed out many of our important institutions. But you can't leave a pig head on the fucking dude. You left a pig head in the driveway. It's too much. I mean, listen, I get it. I never advocate violence. I never advocate anything, but I understand why things happen. I don't have to advocate violence, but I understand what happens. When you make people desperate and scared, they respond like you have a corner in animal. You have a corner of someone without realizing it. You try to get, you try to approach a dog the wrong way and it bark and it bites you. This is what's happening with the American public. You're, you're, you're forcing them into a corner and they're scratching and clawing and they're going to come out and bite you.

I don't know. Did that to Pelosi's house? Have a good idea. Maybe. I don't know. You know, probably Oscar. It'd be funny if they arrested Oscar cat for that. San Francisco, he could have gone up there. Yeah, absolutely. Could have. He's a real problem or a solution. But I just got to stop eating ice cream cake. I've still got it left. We went to a cold stone, which is not as good as Carvel, but it's still a decent ice cream cake. It is good. It's a, it's a fine ice cream cake. It's got the cake and the ice cream layers of the cake and then the ice cream.

You see? And after a cold stone ice cream, you wake up and you go, I want to kill everybody because I didn't have that discipline to not eat it. It's the lack of discipline that builds the rage. It's the lack of discipline that makes you angry. You're really angry at yourself, but there's so much to be angry about in this country justifiably. And sometimes you need to blow off a little steam. You got to go, you know, I'm going to bomb. You know what? I'm going to bomb. You're sitting there with a friend. You go, you know, you know what? I'm going to bomb. You know, hey buddy, you know what? I'm going to bomb. You know what? I'm sick of. I'm just kind of fucking, I'm going to bomb. I'm going to bomb.

Where did he even bomb Nashville? What are you even doing? What's he even doing? He put a van in Nashville. Who cares? Who's he bombing there? Miranda Lambert, some country singer. What's he doing? I don't even understand. What kind of shitty half measure is that? How many people did he even kill? No, just a couple of dogs that were in the van. What even was this? He did it on Christmas morning and he played a warning to let everyone know to get out of the area and then it exploded. Is this some sloppy false flag at Langley? They're like, okay, this didn't work.

Next time we got to take out more than a few dogs. Guys, this is a real embarrassment. Are you nuts? We took out a few dogs. That's not going to get them to take this vaccine. You killed a couple of fucking golden retrievers in the middle of Nashville. We need them to take this goddamn vaccine. They got to be scared. This is supposed to be a guy who COVID drove to terrorism. That'll be the next thing they'll go. COVID is now driving people to terrorism. That'll be one of the symptoms of COVID, by the way, blowing up a van in Nashville. Do you have shortness of breath, a fever, symptoms of the flu? Have you thought about blowing up a van in downtown Nashville?

You might have the novel coronavirus, whose symptoms now include any type of anti-government behavior. If you don't want to turn into a terrorist, get the needle. We're going to need people to get this vaccine. I mean, I don't need to get it right away. I want some other people to get it first, you know, the majority of the country. And then I'll get in on the last round. But by the way, that's how respectful I am of the heroes. Do you understand that? Because I believe that the first responders, heroes, nurses, teachers, all of them, give it to them. And I'll get it later. I'll get it later.

Here's what I will, this is the pledge I'll make because I care so much about this country. I will take it last. I will take it last after 350 million people have gotten it. I will take it last. As COVID vaccines come online, fewer Americans want to take them. Here's one of the problems. It's not one COVID vaccine. It's like there's now multiple ones. There's like, I got the Pfizer. I got the Moderna. Nobody knows what the end is at. There's no authority in the government. Nobody trusts any of this shit.

And I'm not an anti-vaxxer, but this vaccine is pretty quick, right? It's too fast. It's too fast. Asians will all do it. When asked recently, 80% of Asians will get COVID. Well, they're gangsters. They're taking over the world. They're like, this is how we're going to do it. I think women are the lowest. Well, many of them are having babies, right? They want to get pregnant. They don't want to affect their children. I get it.

You get it. Now, this is crazy. When you and your wife came over Christmas, she had a needle of the vaccine for me. That was my gift, which I didn't take, but it was odd that she came over. Where did you get that? She got it from work. No, I'm kidding. Ben and his wife got me a candle for Christmas, which is very nice. What's some other stuff? What's from Target?

No, the candle is actually... Whitney would be impressed with that candle. That's a candle from Nordstrom. That's a nice... I mean, Whitney's probably in a youth hostel. She'd be impressed by solid food. I haven't heard from her in two weeks. What colors are here now? I have no idea what she's doing. I mean, Whitney's impressed if she gets an hour of sunlight. They let her out. Of course, this is a joke, but he isn't. I don't know. I haven't heard from her in two weeks. I showed her about her house on Christmas to give her a present. She wouldn't let me in.

I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea what's going on. I mean, maybe someone will hear this and get to her. I mean, I hope she's okay. I mean, I don't know. Is she driving around Nashville in the van? I don't know what's going on. I just know around the third hair color change, people started to go, uh... Where's this going? What is this end? Have you ever known someone who's dyed their hair four times and it ends in a good place?

I'm just asking. Have you ever met somebody who's had four hair color changers and then the fifth change is like back to normal and they're like, Hey guys, welcome. Good to see you. Things are good. You know, I don't know what's going on. She doesn't call me anymore. It's okay. I don't need friends either. Unnecessary. Unnecessary. You know, especially ones in the midst of a Timothy McVeigh style breakdown. By the way, you want to, the cops want to follow up, go to her house.

Who the hell knows what she's going to do? She's like gonna, she'll find a way to bomb the virtual Emmys or something. I don't know. She'll bomb Jimmy Kimmel's house. It's a comedy podcast, everyone. The comedy show. We're all having fun. And there's nothing but love here for everyone. I just got her a present. She didn't answer the fucking door. I thought it was a little rude.

What'd you get her? What? What'd you get her? I didn't really get her anything. I just wanted to say hello. I was bored. What am I going to get her? Another horse. She's fine.

I'll tell you this though. No, I liked it. You and your wife got a candle for me. Where was it from? Where? Nordstrom. Oh, nice. Good. Yeah. How much? It was expensive.

How much? I'll ask Katie, but I think it was in the realm of like $80. $80. An $80 candle. But that was not a Christmas present. That was a housewarming gift. The other gift was the Christmas present. Yeah. How much?

The crew set. How much? I think all in all, William Sonoma, I spent like $480. $480 on the crew set. Well, I got the crew set and then the nice big cutting board, which was nice. For who? For you. Okay. So $500 at William Sonoma.

I think about around $500. Okay. That's not horrible. Not bad. That's pretty nice. And then the candle. Oh, and we got you flowers too. The little flowers from a floral shop.

Well, what a treat. And the vaccine. And she gave me a needle and said, a nice needle. And she said, and check this later tonight. So she handed me a paper to sign, which signed, she said it was a power of attorney that you and her would have power of attorney over all my financial decisions. I thought that was odd. New Year's resolutions, folks, you got to stick to them.

You got to stick to them. What a stupid economy we have a New Year's resolution based economy. Like every, every company advertises the first of the year. Like, are you sick of being a fat, lazy, low for shit? Are you sick of being a fat lump of shit with no money? How about you get involved, give up carbs and start investing in Bitcoin. I'm doing Michaela Peterson's podcast. By the way, she reached out to me.

I guess we're going to talk about eating meat. She's on a carnivore diet and it's cured all of her diseases, which is very nice. I appreciate that. She has an autoimmune. That's a weird autoimmune disease. Do you know the symptoms of this? What is it? The symptoms of it are it's like inflammation, like you have inflammation all over your body

and then you try to kill your father. It's folks. What I do with this show is I clear my schedule. I clear my schedule so that now I don't have to do anything. That's obviously a joke. What is she in a lobster costume? Get her out of here. I hate women.

Oh, yeah, that was on Halloween. I'm kidding. Ah, la-da-da. California hospital stress to the brink of catastrophe by coronavirus surge. Let's play with this woman is saying. Okay, let's see what's going on here. Let's get the emergency room nurse Tony Katano says her hospital is running out of oxygen tanks and space in the morgue.

Our morgue is full. It's only a matter of time before they start breaking up the butcher trucks throughout the pandemic. She's used her butcher trucks to warn residents of what's to come. She said it's about it's a matter of time before the butcher trucks come out for the bodies, I guess. Is there aren't there any vans? Do we have to go right to butcher truck?

Do you have to go to the butcher? It sounds like a threat. She's like, it's only a matter of time before the butcher trucks come out. Then it's the fire pits after the fire pits. I mean, listen, I think it's bad what's going on in LA now. I feel fucking horrible about this. I don't want anybody getting sick and I don't want these hospitals overloaded. My question is why we didn't prepare for a second wave.

And I've talked about it at nauseam and maybe there's only so much preparation you could do, but there's got to be more, but there should have been field hospitals and tents and like, there should have been increased ICU capacity, hiring more nurses. I don't know. But the whole thing's a mess and I feel bad about it. Let's watch a little bit more of this. You know, it's fucking hairy. Current trend of COVID cases continues.

10 hours later, yes, there's still just as many ambulances. They don't, they don't stop coming, they'll stop coming. Cases in the state have surged in spite of strict COVID-19 protocols, including a stay at home order. While California's Governor Gavin Newsom pushed for a lockdown in parts of the state, shutting down theme parks, limiting dining at restaurants and shuttering movie theaters to flatten the curve. Meantime in Florida, a state that's been wide open for months.

Things are still faring better for rate of new COVID cases. Why? Public health experts say Los Angeles was uniquely susceptible to an infectious disease outbreak. What? Los Angeles County, I think, is home to some of the most overcrowded housing setups in the country. Yeah, true. And because of that, you're seeing a lot of health transmission of the virus.

Shut her up. Get your own spot. What the fuck's the problem? Get your own crib. Dude, I see some of these people living together. They're like 80. There's like some 80 year old old woman living with a bunch of people. I'm like, yo, bitch, get your own fucking spot.

What are you, 80? You're still living with people? Bitch, do some, get a studio apartment. How gross. Get your own fucking spot. This bitch is right. She's like, there's just too many people living together. It's time to spread your wings.

Get out there. Live your life. God. It's not hard. What's the average cost of a house in California? In LA. Average purchased home. Buy a fucking home, dummy.

650 grand is the median price. And by the way, I don't know where the fuck you get that. This is all fake. But you know, what's the problem? I think they're counting condos in that. There's no way. So what? So just get your own spot.

It's 650. 650 K. I don't understand the problem. Get a new investment guy. Is that the problem? Probably. A lot of these people in LA dying of COVID right now, because they live in crowded spaces,

they need to get a new investment team stat. I don't get it. Whatever. I just, this is, this is what Ben Shapiro thinks. And turning point USA. They're like, they're like, just get a new, just like, what's going on? Are you not like invested?

Are you not in the market in a healthy way? So this is very sad. There's a lot of people in LA. They're taking the bullet. They're dying of coronavirus. They're dying in the hospitals. And now apparently they're going to bring butcher trucks for the bodies because there's no more mobile morgues or something.

Dude, it's very fucking. What's the word? Ghoulish. It's very ghoulish and sad. And I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I think it's still a little nutty. People can't sit outside on a patio and have a salad,

but they can stand arm to arm in Costco and buy a big joint and buy a big jar of icing to eat with their family. I don't understand it. It's a sloppy enforcement. It's uneven. It's selectively enforced. It's bad for everybody. It's bad for the economy.

It's probably not bad for it. It's probably not good for people's health. I don't know the solution. There's a lot of overcrowded housing in LA. There's a lot of people that live together in LA. Most of them are tick talking. You walk into these houses, these large Mexican populations.

It's like at a job. None of these Mexicans work. They're all tick talking, trying to be famous. That's the problem with LA. You go to these densely populated Mexican-American communities, and it's like, oh my God, they're never working. They're always just tick talking. It's crazy.

Because that's what they're talking about, by the way, when they say densely populated communities. They're talking about Mexicans. They're not talking about the 800,000 people in the Hollywood Hills right now shaking their ass on camera every fucking day, by the way. Every day, there's evidence of just 19 people. Right.

So many of you didn't catch that. You don't catch the levels of irony on the show. It's not my fault. I'm just going to hold the mic like this. What if I just broadcast it like this? What if I did that? What if my whole thing was this? And I was like, do you not like it?

Alex Jones went in little nuts on the live stream. That could not have gone on YouTube. He would have lost our channel. He went on like a 45-minute anti-merks rant. And I just don't think... We were waiting for that company. We used Rush Ticks to shut us down. We were waiting for them to go,

hey, man, we've aired a lot of stuff, but this is too much. Calling the vaccine jellyfish. It's an mRNA vaccine. It's jellyfish. They're putting jellyfishes out of you. I was like, okay. And then he left our show and got in a tank

to go yell at the mayor of Austin, who lives in the W Hotel. It's literally true. Literally, he left our show, got in a tank. Tina Forty was on the show. You know, the woman was always like, motherfucker, Cuomo, Yukami, Cunt, motherfucker. Tina Forty, we found this out during the live stream.

Almost died of coronavirus in the hospital. Literally almost died. And now is going to be leading flash mobs of anti-maskers to run into grocery stores without masks and just scare people. Question. Why does the country deserve to endure? Think about it.

Think about that. If we did make it, wouldn't it be a weird aberration? Like, if this country figured out a way to limp into the next century somehow, wouldn't that be odd? I'm not saying I'm not for it. I live here. But with the behavior of people, isn't it, we do have a little bit of a death wish.

I'm not saying you should wear a mask all the goddamn time, but to be like, hey, I'm going to lead flash mobs into Starbucks. It doesn't seem like a good idea. And she almost died of the COVID. She doesn't care. Hospital two weeks, she said. She's a real warrior. Americans just want to fight for something.

They don't even care what it is. They don't even care what they're fighting for. It's time to fight. God bless her. She came on the show. We respect her. And I appreciate it, but, you know, it seems strange. If somebody spent two weeks in the hospital coronavirus,

I don't think their next thing would be, I'm going to lead flash mobs of anti-maskers to run around CVS. That's an odd reaction to have. No. Also, what does that prove? And whose mind does that change? You think anyone's like, well, I took COVID seriously until I saw 100 people running around this grocery store.

Now I realize the era of my ways. You know? Just open up ocean prime outside so I can get the truffle deviled egg and I'll be fine. Everybody's interested personal. Open up ocean prime on the patio. I want truffle deviled egg, which is not being offered as part of the takeout menu.

One of the biggest problems people are having now is the takeout menus and the in restaurant dining menus are very different. And this is big source of consternation to a lot of people, including myself. We're like, what's going on here? I want the thing that I get here. And they're like, well, we don't do that anymore. And I'm like, well, we're going to, we're going to, you know why?

Because the butcher trucks are coming and they're taking everyone out and butchering us up. I'm going to sell us from meat on the street. Before that, I would like the deviled egg. Is there a way that we can do that, please? Because we're clearly all living at the end of something. And I'd like a little before the end. We had a big problem with Airbnb.

And I've been a big proponent of Airbnb and Airbnb is a billion dollar business and it's valued at how much? I mean, they just had a IPO, right? Airbnb is this massive. I mean, it is just, it's $68 a share. I mean, it's 33 billion dollar valuation as of November 30th for Airbnb. Okay.

Now it's targeting that is December 7th, 42 billion dollar variation for Airbnb. And we had a problem with Airbnb. We had a real issue with Airbnb. I have done nothing but be respectful to the people, to the homes that I ran. I've done nothing. You understand?

I do not get bad reviews on Airbnb because I treat people with respect. Now let's describe, let's describe some of the issues. Number one, I was told I was going to a luxury compound in Joshua Tree. Luxury means something very specific to me. Okay. It doesn't mean necessarily stylized, high concept and artistic.

It means luxury. It means fluffy couches and nice carpets, luxury. I feel luxurious. You understand? Yes. We went to a nice thing in Joshua Tree, which is the place where all people in the tech industry go to take mushrooms and people that work for ice go and have, you know, to take DMT and

figure out how to build stronger cages to put kids in. You know, it's great. It's for people having revelations. So we go to Joshua Tree, which is really just, it's a litter box for drug addicts. Let's be honest. It's a litter box for drug addicts. And I know that a lot of people like it, but that's what it is

and that's who you are. So we go to this litter box for drug addicts and they, you know, they've stuck a little house on the edge of the cliff and we can all go see the desert and, you know, take a bunch of drugs and see Satan or whatever. And we get into the house. The house, the furniture in the house is like, it's all, it's all, of course these are two white women.

I believe they're lesbians. I don't want to say that they're lesbians. I don't know, but their names are stupid. Like one of them's names is Mila. It's like, it's a stupid name. You're a ridiculous person. Okay. You accuse me of breaking a cactus.

How do you even do that, you goofy bitch? Shut the fuck up. Okay. You slob. So I walk into your fucking house, which you can't even sit on the fucking front. I got fat people here. They're 400 pounds.

How are they going to sit on your cow hide chair? That's a little thin thing of fucking leather. What are we supposed to do? This guy's 900 pounds. What are we going to do here? Okay. Every piece of furniture can't sodomize the guest. You have to have some fucking chair that works like an actual fucking chair.

Throw a bean bag in there. Okay. Not everybody's a 90 foot, 90 pound lesbian on ayahuasca that can perch on a fucking bird cage for the whole night. Okay. You freaks. Listen to the fuck up. Talking to you.

People are going to rent your house to the actual people that need actual furniture to actually sit. Not everything's a fucking trip to hyperspace. There's actual 3D reality that some of us have to fucking live in. So we went there and I was not thrilled with the decor. And I told you that it was very white. And you know these white bitches, they just steal Native American culture. And I'm not even a culturally appropriation guy, but they just steal this fucking culture.

They put these weird little buffalo heads, skulls everywhere and, you know, lavender oil. And what am I going to do? Lube my ass with it. What is this? So we go in. It's all white. The fireplace doesn't work, of course, because the insurance company won't insure them.

Everything's freezing. The hot tub is freezing. Unhappy, right? The fucking lock box. We got to fucking attack it to get the key out. So we're there in the house and we do nothing to the furniture. We literally don't damage any of the furniture. They have these kitchen stools that are concrete slabs.

Mila, Mila, we work so hard for the shut up. Get a job. They're a concrete slab kitchen chairs, high top kitchen chairs, okay? That are like art pieces. These are not chairs. And they have little stools that are made out of what? What was that? Like hollowed out?

So like marble? Yeah, the marble petrified wood. Petrified wood. I don't know what it was, but it's a little stool that you're supposed to sit. It's a tiny little table where your ass can't even fit on this small little thing of wood that you have to sit on and eat. I don't even know what, right? So they just want you doing drugs.

Do you walk in as a big mortar and a pestle there? And they're like, just crush it up. Just crush it up and do it. Get it into the butcher. And that's fine. Listen, I got it. I got it. I got it.

Take the shrimps. But some people want to have a nice meal there. We treated that house like it had never been treated with wholesome American food. We went to Vons in the desert and we got burgers and bushes baked beans. And we cooked baked beans. And yes, beans explode when they're hot. Whose fault is that? I didn't come up with the idea for the bean.

They explode when they're out. And then we wanted a Gorton's fish. We got the Gorton's fish, which is very nice. The breaded, pre-breaded Gorton's fish and some tartar sauce. So baked beans, Gorton's fish with tartar sauce, cheeseburgers, and then seven pints of ice cream so we could try. Just have a little ice cream testing. And we left a few dishes. In the sink.

In the sink, a pot of exploded beans, an extra tartar sauce I didn't even use that I said you can use. Some ice cream. I mean, the smell of the house was fish and bean. But that's not my fault. You can have a cleaning crew. She's like the cleaning crew complained. What is it? My fat maid over there probably complaining, but it's like, well, why are they complaining?

They're supposed to be cleaning their job is to clean. Okay. So this bitch then texts me. She goes, our cleaning crew had a heart attack lol. So I'm like, okay. And then she goes, but please give us a good review. So we stay on Airbnb. So here's the deal with Airbnb.

We review each other. We don't know what we've said. If you're going to come reach out to me and ask me for a good review and acknowledge that the cleaning crew was like, Oh, we got to wash some dishes. I'm like, okay, they're not mad. We didn't do anything. There's some dishes in the sink, but it is what it is. I paid a $400 cleaning fee.

You stupid cunt. Jonah and Mila, you fucking pigs. I'll burn your fucking house down. By the way, anyway, I texted them that I texted them. I was going to burn their house down and I sent them a gift of the Simpsons house burning. I'm like, I know where your house is. They're like, are you threatening me? I'm like, let's just see what happens.

I'm like, stay safe out there. You stupid desert dykes. I will have God hates fags church outside of your fucking house every fucking day. I will call. Who is the people in there? Westboro Baptist. Yeah. Westboro and who are the names?

Fred Phelps. The Phelps family. I'll get the whole Phelps family. Not the cock that went on rogue and the rest of them that stayed true. I will get them out there every fucking night to fucking yell at the people, renting your stupid drug den. Anyway. So I responded to her by saying, no one broke anything.

Your house sucks. Because she said I was a bad gas. And then people are like, did this really happen? I said, it can't really happen. I said, the furniture is unusable. You're not artists. Your home is wildly overpriced. True.

You beg me for good rating and then trash me. The cleaning crew complained about cleaning. Who's your cleaning crew? There were some dishes. That is all. I don't really care about your reviews. I don't rent out my home to strangers like an animal. Good luck with everything in the future.

The place is a dump and it looks like it was furnished by drug addicts, which I imagine you are. Please get the help you need. If you want me to take you to an AA meeting or an NA meeting, I will go to IKEA, get some actual furniture, which hopefully you can afford. Not everything has to be an art piece. And feel free to use the tartar sauce I left behind.

Later pig. And that's what I wrote to them on Airbnb in no response. And then I sent a few that could have been considered quasi-threatening messages, but they were not threats. They were an art piece. Like your furniture. They're not meant to be sat on or taken literally. I was doing an art piece.

You see? It was all a metaphor. And it angered me because she shit on me publicly on Airbnb, which anyone can see. Truly. And now I look like the bad guy. I look like the bad guy. Jonah and Mila.

Fuck you. We didn't do anything. Dishes were in the sink. The hot tub wasn't hot. You already paid $400 for a cleaning. If we're not supposed to eat the Gorton's fish, why would they sell it at the supermarket? I'm not getting fresh fish.

I trust the Gorton's fishermen. And it's a lovely. If you've ever had a Gorton's, they're lovely. Very good. And then the McCormick tartar sauce goes very well with it. It pairs very well. I thought so. I'm sorry I wasn't doing speed balls in your bathroom,

like the rest of your guests. You fucking pigs. You've done nothing but create a fucking satanic vortex for people to sin. And I didn't take part in it. I made balls of baked beans. I will not tolerate being disparaged publicly like that. And this good man, he did nothing wrong.

He slept in a room where the sun hit him directly in the face. As soon as it came up. Because there were no fucking curtains. Because curtains are too basic for these fucking hoes. And I hope they hear this by the way. I hope someone in your garbage life shows you this podcast. You are nothing. Do you understand me?

You clowns. Look at your Airbnb picture. You pose with your fucking dogs. You're clowns. You are not interesting and you are not an artist. You are failures and you are drug addicts. And I'm telling you right now, if you had any clue the holy hell that was about to rain down on you, you would fucking run.

You would run out into the desert and sacrifice yourself. Because every day I swear to Christ, every fucking day I wake up and I think about how to destroy you and that shit all. And I'll figure it out. And see this is what I mean about the cops can't call me out on this because it's my right to kind of vent these frustrations. And I can't because they can't knock on my door and say, hey, did you say you were going to kill these two dykes

and Josh retreat? I can't. This is what I mean. Do you see in real time I'm proving my point from the beginning of the show? That's why the show is entertaining and it's informative because the reality is we're all having these thoughts all the time because what I really want to do is gas these two in their house

and watch them just, I want to watch them fucking climb over their shitty art house furniture and get to the fucking door and just, they can't get any breath and then fall and then just walk in and I want to piss on their corpses, but I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm just going to talk about it. Do you understand the difference?

And if putting on a Hispanic accent made me feel a little better. If being a little exotic made me feel better if pretending to be an Eastern European or pretending to be a Russian or pretending to be Asian, if that made me feel a little better, if it got me through my day, if it decreased the chances that I was going to go back and burn this fucking shit hole down in the conservatory because they've wronged me. If that made me feel a little better, then what the fuck's wrong with that?

What is the problem with that? I'm not putting pig heads on Pelosi's door. I just want to go, how do you say cucumber? I don't know how to talk in English. I don't know how to do it. So what's the fucking problem out there? Pick and choose your battles, do you understand? And I hope, and this shows a big show,

I hope to God someone shows it to these people and I will get in a high profile war with both of you ladies. Okay, because I'm a faggot too. Okay, you can't do that straight white man shit on me. Okay, I will suck a cock in your house and then burn it down. I don't know what that'll prove. It sounded more progressive as I was saying it. It actually sounded quite hateful as I was saying it as well.

My point is this, stop. There's nothing worse than lesbians who think they're artists. You're not. Just build a fucking shed, you apes. Katie Herzog's not trying to be an artist. She's fucking sitting in her backyard with her dumb dog and fucking trying to figure out why her neighbor identifies as a fruit loop.

By the way, I've been having a conversation with a 17-year-old dude who's on the track team in where I live thinking he's Katie Herzog for the last fucking month. He goes, dude, what's your problem? Why do you keep asking me about trans issues? Katie Herzog? He goes, no, I'm a 17-year-old track star.

I said, oh, well, then I'll move on. I just got a message from McKayla Peterson. She's like, we're booked up for the rest of her. I want to do Lex Friedman show. I like Lex Friedman a lot. There's a few shows I want to do. I'm trying to put together a few shows I want to do. You know, Marin's never had me on,

but I guess that's just part of the thing now. That's okay. I don't care. It seems he only has people on if they're promoting something, like a show or a book. Okay. Well, I've had two specials and multiple things to promote. He probably doesn't like me.

Probably. That's fine. I'll live. I actually want to get out of comedy. I really don't care about comedy anymore. I love it, and it's my lifeblood, but it's also destroying me. And I want to do this show,

and I will be out live and stuff, and I will be doing comedy because I don't have a choice. I have to do it because it's the only way that I don't go back to Joshua Tree with a fucking bow and arrow. But I, you know, I just have gotten, it's gotten slacks to the point where it's kind of like, I don't even care anymore.

I just want to open a restaurant. We're going to do a lot of cool live shit when shit opens up. We're going to take over a restaurant for 48 hours. We're going to do this. We're going to do a pop-up restaurant just to fuck around, do a menu, all that shit. We might do a food truck. I just want to fucking do shit to not be bored.

I can't be in some comedy club forever. I need to do crazy live shit. We're playing around with the idea of doing like, this is your down the line or whatever, a fake business convention. You go to this hotel. We get all these crazy comics to do shit about fake business, you know, sexual harassment training with Martin Norman.

Just funny shit. You know, like a two day fucking crazy type of event experience. I want to do these weird experiences. I did it in New York where I rented this tour bus. We went all over New York City doing the same crazy shit. And I think that's what I want to start focusing on. Like obviously I love stand-up. I'm always going to do it.

It's a, you know, it's a jam. You work out. This is what you do. That's how you stay funny. But like, I want to create these crazy experiences where people are like, that shit was fucking wild. You know, whether it's like doing a pop-up restaurant where people could come and they have this restaurant

experience is also a comedy experience. Or they could come and do this fucking crazy sale seminar where we put real motivational speakers with fake ones. You don't know who's who and everybody's just fucking crazy. Here's another thing I want to do, which I think would be really funny. I want to do a show out in Joshua Tree. Like do a comedy show in Joshua Tree

with like a hundred people and then lead them to this fucking Airbnb where we burn it down and we take both of the women who own it out of their house and we rip pieces of their skin off one by one. We de-skin them outside of their home and then spread them with honey and then let African bees eat them. Because that is a, that's a thing in Africa where I like,

that's like a punishment in Africa if you're caught like, I don't know, trying to steal someone's Bitcoin. Something, I don't know. I vent my anger here. It's important because, listen, and here's the reality. If anyone's watching this from the FBI, I love those women. I love, I love people that take risks to make beautiful art.

Everything I have said is comedy. I love those women. I love them and I respect them. And I'm sorry that we had a difference of opinion as relating to business. But I am hoping that in the future, I'm hoping in the future that we can come together. They're welcome to come on the show.

You're welcome to come on my show. I'm kidding about skinning you. You're welcome to come on the show because we didn't do anything wrong, right? I don't think so. We have the truth with us and the people that have the truth are close to the light of the Lord. Okay, ladies?

So when I have the truth with me, I proceed with confidence. So you are more than welcome to come on my show to zoom in or Skype in and tell me what you think I did. Because I did nothing. I did nothing but infuse your home with love and laughter and light. And I was shit on. You took a big shit on me publicly on Airbnb, which is fucked up.

It's fucked up what you ladies did. And I hope you live with that. I hope you live with that every day of your life. And I know you're watching this right now. I know you two are watching this right now, right? And you're going to call your friend as a lawyer. He ain't that successful, is he? And you're going to call him and you're going to say,

can we do anything about it? You can't. I've got lawyers to piglet. And I'm telling you right now, I'm telling you, I want you to look at my face. I want you to look at my eyes. Are you both sitting on a couch with your dogs and your loveless childless home? I want you to look at me.

I will never let up for the rest of my life. You were the one bad Airbnb review I have. I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever let up. And it won't be just a pig. It won't be just pigs blood in the driveway, okay? It won't be just a mantifa scribbling with a spray cam, okay? When I decide, when I pounce, it will be Hiroshima. It'll be Nagasaki.

Ladies, I'm kidding. Come on the show. Come on the show. Literally, literally come on the show because I am kidding. I don't care anymore. I'm not going to blow up your house or kill you. You both could probably kill me. You're, you're, you're, you're, you know, I don't know.

Come on the show. We're just having fun here. This is what I mean. I'm illustrating how you got an event. You got to, you got to let loose because we don't care anymore. I really don't care. It doesn't matter. I'll still get Airbnb's.

But I just, I want you to come on the, I want you to come on the show. I want you to come on the show. I'm going to blow up your car. I'm going to blow up one of your cars. I got that, but that's it. But I'm going to blow up one of your cars. One of you is going to get thrown out of a car with third degree marks. Only one, only one of you.

And then you're probably going to get out of the Airbnb business. Aren't you looking at your wife with a crusty face and you know, man, man, we should have just tolerated that smell of good Gordon's fish. But I'm kidding. Hey, dummy, I'm going to blow up your car. I don't even know how to do that. I don't even know how to do it. Just come on the show and, and, and you can, you can yell at me.

Get my Instagram down, please. Leave this up the whole time. Are you paying attention? I didn't put it on screen. Okay. He's very vicious. He's very vicious. And he always has a plan and he never really is out in the open with his

thoughts and feelings. And he buries them very deeply. And then he lets them out months later. And you know you do. You know you do. You let them out months later. There's deep seated anger and rage you have towards me. And you have to work that out.

I'm not the one with the anger problem here. You are. Because I get all my anger out on the show, but you sit and stew with it. And you and that woman, uh, sit there and you, and you just, and you just sit there and stir your little pot of hell. You stir your little pot of hell. You know, and you try to, and you try to, you try to, you know, and I watch, I watch you closely as I watch her.

Okay. So just know that you're being watched to understand that. I'm going to. I'm going to. I like to rent. I'd like someone to rent this Airbnb under their name and have me go and then take photos in it and then put them on my social media and be like, can't keep me out, bitch.

That's kind of funny. Right. That's like a happy medium. I'm not hurting them or blowing their house up, but it's just funny. And I'm like in the Airbnb. So if you live in California and you want to rent an Airbnb and just throw a straight up party, just a COVID party. You have to be an essential worker to rent right now.

So as long as they're essential. Not in there, not in the Joshua tree County. Oh really? Interesting. They told me that because I threatened to rat them out too, which I never do, but I'm like, I'm reporting you guys. I said, I literally text them. I'm like, I work for Gavin Newsom.

I'm going to get you. And again, it's that laugh and you're like, not an or county. I'm like, lesbian, no sense of humor. Very, very telling sign. When I do the wrong thing, I don't like, I'm not getting my Palm Springs deposit back cause Duncan ate the couch. That's fine. The bottom, the under black and I paid for a pool heat.

I wanted to heat the pool. But my point is that I don't want to belabor the point. We're going to get out of here in a minute. And we do appreciate everybody. You enjoy the live stream and it was a lot of fun and it's up on Patreon now or whatever. But at the end of the day, I feel like we must always fight for what is right and true and just.

Truly. You know what I mean? That's why I have to watch you because I want you to be always with the purest of intentions. And sometimes, and even you would, you would, you would, you have inside of you a little cauldron of rage, just a tiny bit and you don't get your feelings out because sometimes you then come back to me three months later with something.

That's true. You're not, you're not saying that's true. No, it's true. I'm bad at being honest or expressing myself and I have a little bit of anger and that's why I vape constantly. It just keeps it all down. And you're angry at me. Sometimes I've been angry at you.

Sometimes you've been angry at me. Yeah. At me. You've been angry at me. Angry with, with you. You've been angry with me. Yeah. Why would you be angry with me?

We've had, I mean, we've known each other a long time now. We've worked closely together. Sometimes there's fights, you know. But you think you're right. No, I get upset. You get upset because you're wrong. Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes I know you're right and it upsets me.

And then sometimes I've been wrong. Interesting. But you apologize later. Perhaps. We just, I feel like we must start the year on a good foot. Yes. I can't have you and your wife trying to kill me all the time. Do you understand that?

You know. See, he's laughing because he knows it's true. You're laughing because you know it's true. That we want to kill you? The depths of hatred that that woman has for me are, it's like the Mariana Trench. It's the deepest part of the ocean. And all you try to do is, you know, mitigate that to the degree that you can. That's okay.

I am always with God, with love and light and truth and justice. You and her have turned from the church. I have not. That's the difference between us. Wow. Does it make sense now? Yeah, we've turned our backs on God and you're an example of what it's like to bathe in Christ's light. That is exactly right.

I can't even yell at you because you said that so perfectly. Do you understand? Many people will never understand that. So even though we have our struggles, our trials and tribulations, we come out on the other end because I think you understand that I am your way to the light of the Lord. I open the gates up for you and for her to come in. Oh, I shut the gates. You hear that, Mila Nkenna?

My name is Mila. My name is Mila. I work so hard on my Airbnb. I'm Mila. How'd you work hard, stealing the culture of Native Americans, you genocidal bitch? How'd you work hard again, giving a family of Indians some smallpox blankets and then taking their fucking art and adorning that shed in Joshua Tree that white pigs can go there and drink ergot wine?

How'd you work hard again? How'd you work hard again? The only part of the Airbnb I didn't check before we left was Ray's back house. So I didn't check that. Did you check that? Interesting. No. We may owe these two women an apology. God only knows that Ray did in there. I got to be honest with you.

We may owe these two ladies an apology. John and Mila, hey, I'm sorry. Good night.