The Tim Dillon Show - 243 - Best Of Patreon Vol. 2

Starting point is 00:00:00 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show special treat For everybody this week. We have a best of patreon. We're opening the vault and taking select rants from our patreon episodes like Maid I want to fly a plane to the capital and Many other of our hits and we're doing that because last night We went out to dinner with Rogan and I was plied with pasta against my will and bone marrow and garlic bread and porter houses and and and chocolate cakes and

Starting point is 00:00:34 Cream-filled donuts, and I just woke up today, and I'm like and I Red-ass restaurant in fucking Austin killer killer food and I I just tossed and turned all night because I'm I usually eat really really healthy and Joe does not and this is a problem, and I get on them all the time about his diet I go you gotta you gotta cut the carbs get the sugar do the more of the but you know you can't reason with him But so we had a real Meal and a half last night, so I just can't there's not a full show in me right now

Starting point is 00:01:10 Things are still gurgling and whatever So what I'm going to do is we're going to open the vault and release some of the great patreon stuff that we've had and Where we talk about bends upcoming wedding We talk about Lots of different things Ben always selects these rants from the patreon's we haven't done this in about a year About a year and and again you don't have to join the page. This isn't like a come join the page. Yeah, it is fun But it's it's just good content to put out there for for everybody that you'd like it I mean there's there's there's no agenda here, you know what I mean

Starting point is 00:01:47 We're really not even in the comedy game right now. We're in the VC game Because you don't have to be a venture capitalist all you have to kind of be is a schizophrenic and my mother is a schizophrenic Which means I have just a certain amount of latent schizophrenia Which is that that's like somebody said to me the damn like a roguin and those guys they have money Ron White They have money, but I have real money now what real money means is my money It's does there's no cap to it because it's in my head So guys at ground wider Jeff Donner major rocket their money's in the bank or in investments and there's an end to it Mine there's no end because it's a creation of my own

Starting point is 00:02:26 It synapses firing in my head that aren't linking up with other synapses So I have as much money as I want to have this is the era of fake business I go on clubhouse everybody on clubhouse is very successful and they spend 19 hours a day on clubhouse telling you All the interesting projects. They're working on they apparently don't have to actually ever work on any of those projects because they're on that app So we're in the VC world. So it's not even we're not even really trying to you know Do comedy anymore? We're just looking to To work with founders

Starting point is 00:03:00 Who are the founders of the company? I want to know who the founders are. What's the monetization strategy and who are the founders? Where are the founders and what is their strategy and am I gonna put my war chest? of a zillion dollars again in here everything's money so You know what you're looking at that side. It's an NFT right there that sign That's a million dollars that sign. So what are we talking about money means nothing?

Starting point is 00:03:32 So we're gonna do the best at Patriot episode. What did you think of that restaurant last night? It was amazing. It was really good I was really impressed. I Was truly impressed. I'm I'm a little bit of a I know what I'm talking about And I'm telling you right now in terms of time food. They kicked fucking ass last night And I was shocked at how good it was. I was ready to like you say hey fuck this But I was really Impressed by the quality of that one woman was throwing a ravioli at the table to get Rogan's attention. I Thought it was Antifa, but it was just a woman

Starting point is 00:04:10 Who I feel like Antifa is attacking him with carbs, which is really that's what you would do to weaken him If you wanted to weaken him you would you would tempt him you would throw carbs at him But it was just a woman that wanted to say hello to him crazy We get recognized every now and then but that guy's just getting recognized all the time, you know Which is crazy because I feel like we are more successful and more famous. Yeah, I've always felt that way I thought I was doing him a favor by going on a show, but apparently it really is the other way around when you look at the numbers interesting

Starting point is 00:04:48 And yeah, it was fun and Ron why came in hinge cliff and for him and You Lex Lex Friedman was there sitting next to me. He's a very interesting dinner companion He's like a brilliant child that someone brought to the dinner like kind of an awkward brilliant child like one of those children from like a Don't know like C.S. Lewis novel that just sits there and he's like hello He turned to me and he goes do you think you have a serious movie in you he goes that wallet trailer I liked it, but I didn't want the jokes. I wanted the darkness. I'm like, thank you and Didn't he have a bite of pasta too? Yeah

Starting point is 00:05:32 These people they always talk about keto and then go out with them. I'm the only one that does keto I'm the only one that actually does it I'm the only one who works out. I'm the only one who knows about fighting I'm the only one who knows about robotics. Everybody else is kind of like it's just they're just spinning a yarn Just me and the wine steeds we're the only people who know the deal in this world So if you're gonna listen listen one of us Brett Eric or me You know with the three that have been exiled from academia

Starting point is 00:06:08 Because of because we told the truth so So enjoy The best of patreon we have a guy coming. Yeah, we have a meeting at 10 o'clock. How do you feel like this will go? It should be good. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah meeting at 10 o'clock Tim DeLaComedy.com old at the live shows me and Dan are on the road and

Starting point is 00:06:35 That should be a lot of fun Getting a little skirmish just here and there and It should be enjoyable for you guys to come out and see What we've got happening Thanks to everyone that's bought tickets and come to the shows. We've had a great time. We had a nurse get angry at me In Pennsylvania when I was performing in a tent a nurse got can you imagine these nurses? She she took a night off the plague to come to a comedy show and

Starting point is 00:07:07 And then she got angry at me because I dared to make a joke about Nurses and she didn't understand that jokes were not serious. They were absurd things that are said to make fun to make fun, you know That's a stand-up thing I think recently talks about he's like, why would you make fun like stand up? He has a whole thing where he's like, yeah, you make fun. It's like we're making fun So she got angry and she was sitting in the front row with her face all stern and she was like I'm a nurse and people are dying imagine imagine having a job

Starting point is 00:07:42 where you describe the literal fundamentals of the job as Something that is completely alien to you I'm an air traffic controller and there's so many planes trying to land at once It's it's almost like my entire job is predicated on that fact that planes are trying to but can you imagine that? There the planes not one not a hundred I mean thousands of these things in the air at once Trying to land on for runway. I mean Who knew who knew when I took this job that planes would land who knew

Starting point is 00:08:31 We got a nurse that's going by people are dying and way You're a nurse Right, that's what you dare. It's not what you do. I Know it's sad that people are dying and I tried to explain that to her Maybe we should throw in the thing now The video yeah, I'll put it up right here. We'll put the video up and here's the video of what happened Langry, I'm sorry. You seem very It's couple here. You seem very yes you you seem very you were dragged here. I got it. You would drag you were dragged a little bit

Starting point is 00:09:12 You're slightly disappointed. What is it some of the language? You're a nurse Why aren't you at work? I mean I've got to think very legitimate Okay, well, let me ask you when you when you signed up to be a nurse it Did you understand that at one time people might get sick? Like I understand as a comedian that when I say things people can get mad at me even though they're jokes I understand that in the same way that you would understand people would get sick Right

Starting point is 00:09:57 Right, I Know and it's very very sad, but there's all I'm making jokes and there's a lot of people that have been dying There's people dying because their businesses are closed. There's people dying because they can't make any money There's people dying because they they're suffering from drug and alcohol addiction There's people dying because they're alienated from their communities There's people dying because this government that shut everything down is not giving them checks and I know that's not your fault I know that's not your fault, but I've made fun of all of that tonight. I've made fun of all of that tonight It's not just about you. I've made fun of everything that's fucked up that's happening

Starting point is 00:10:38 Everything including myself I made fun of everybody You know And listen if I collapse up here, I want you to remember these are jokes So if I collapse come up here and be a hero But I don't want you to be offended. These are jokes You have to understand that jokes are to say ridiculous things so that people can laugh at it Nobody thinks nobody's ungrateful for what nurses do, but these are jokes if they were serious They wouldn't be funny

Starting point is 00:11:05 Do you see what I mean? Like if I was making serious statements, no one would laugh but because they are absurd Because they are ridiculous They are jokes You know what I mean? That's what it is and I know that people don't understand jokes anymore People don't understand jokes, but that that's what they are. They're just jokes. They're not meant to be hurtful They're not meant to be rude You know, and I understand that you're probably offended

Starting point is 00:11:30 And there is an internet and you can go to it And write a lot of mean things about the many have before and they will again And that's okay, but I'm sorry that you're offended, but these are literally just jokes They're just jokes, okay That's what it is. That's what it is. They're jokes They're jokes, you know Except the part about the nurses. I'm serious about that. My name is Tim Bell. Thank you very much everybody. Thank you All right, so you saw that video

Starting point is 00:12:04 and uh now enjoy the best of our Uh, Tim Bell's a patreon. We're back in the studio next week, or I don't even know I might be in florida I don't know I might have to fly you down to florida. You people don't care where the show's from It gives us shit Spend all kinds of money on this. We never see it. Put it on a sweatshirt. It's an nft But we might have to do it from the beach in florida. I need to go somewhere where there's a beach And I need to swim in the ocean. I don't know if I'll be able to swim in the ocean

Starting point is 00:12:35 Go to the temperature right now the water in florida tampa. I need to go swim in the ocean I Really am uh Right now Looking at 69 degrees. I can swim in that, right? Yeah, you could do that, right? It's a little cool, but it's not horrible I might have to just swim in the ocean down a temp for a few days You have to get done with houston And then I'll be back and I have a show in austin at the power mount. I don't know how many tickets are left

Starting point is 00:13:08 I don't know if there's any tickets left, but what's happening now with all these shows is the clubs are opening up at higher capacities So check even if they've been sold out check a lot of these dates I have coming up in denver and miami and places like that because what we're seeing happen is More tickets were added because we are at now a higher capacity than we would have been Now the patreon is not video Okay So we know that I know that so much of the humor is in the way He more says it and the moves in the hands

Starting point is 00:13:41 Calm down A lot of the humor is just in the what's being said. So enjoy that You know, you could google image me and put a photo of me and the google image him and put photos of us If you are upset that You cannot see us, but I love the patreon episodes. I love audio only. I mean, I love the obviously doing the video too But I grew up with uh, you know audio only that's kind of the way I The ads will be video if you want to stick around. Hey the ads are video

Starting point is 00:14:12 Isn't that nice? All right, without further ado patreon Devin costa and ida are with me. He's a very attractive girlfriend They've been car shopping with me. We're attractive. I know women don't want to hear that anymore. You they want to hear that you're Yeah, I know everybody want every all the women want to hear now that they're gonna be margaret thatcher or something But and I don't even mean politically. I just mean that they're all gonna be accomplished, but It's nice to be hot trust. It's a nice thing to be attractive. I don't know when I don't know how that got flipped Somehow that that's actually not good or someone should notice that

Starting point is 00:14:49 Don't notice me being attractive Um, they've been out here car shopping with me in the desert for the past few days How many dealerships will we go to yesterday like seven? I think seven. Yeah Yeah, and and and and we went to bemer and mercedes and ranger over who just go to all these dealerships And I don't really know a car. I'm gonna get I want to get a lease and I don't want to spend that much money, but I just am addicted now To car sales people. I can't Quit them. I want them all the time. Yeah

Starting point is 00:15:21 Because it's so it's such a weird sale You walk on the lot It's like anything else. I got to be your best friend within a minute They got to be they got to turn it on And some of them do and some of them don't Some of them just really don't know the range Rover people the range Rover people Act like you're doing the wrong thing They act like they're doing you a favor

Starting point is 00:15:48 And now I'm trying to get a range Rover and I have no credit And it's a whole problem and this this desperate fuck who's trying to sell me the car First of all, I took a road test. I think about this. I went I looked at a range Rover. I don't have a license I the guy the guy thinks he's selling me the car. I got to tell him afterwards. I don't have a license I don't have a license. So I got to take a road. You know, this guy called his wife. He's like I got I got a good prospect He's interested his friends are here. They love the car And you know, he went in told the sales manager. He's like, hey, Bob Bob Bob and he's like allen what allen what?

Starting point is 00:16:25 I can't take any more money off. He's like, no, no, no, Bob. I got a guy. I got a prospect He's just got to take his driver's test. He go allen. You get the fuck out of the office. You fucking piker He's just got to take a road test tomorrow. That's it. But he's bob. He loves the car Bob I did good Allen, why don't you go home and cry to your wife? You know, he went home and he sat with his wife And his wife's like, so you think that You're gonna get any of these off the lot and he's like, I got a guy I got a guy

Starting point is 00:16:57 And then he's like, but he's he's taking a road test tomorrow morning and she goes she probably just looked at him because Jesus christ allen Jesus Son, how fucking allen looks like he's gonna kill himself so So allen looks like he's gonna he's gonna kill himself So we go into because i'm too fat for every other car. I've sat like nine of these cars

Starting point is 00:17:19 They're like wedging me in with plungers It's crazy How small these cars they're all for europeans They're all for european This is the fattest country in the world and very little is made for fat people on in the high end It's like or even the mid end. This is not really that high end. It's whatever But it's this isn't like rolls Royce or whatever, but it's like a nicer car and a bmw You have to buy these sedan

Starting point is 00:17:44 Like I can't fit in anything but the old Dentist sedan, which I don't want. It's the only thing I fit in I can't fit in anything else. I imagine me and ray kump In like a a mid-size bmw would be absurd You have to call the fire you'd have to get the jaws of life to get ray out just to if we went somewhere for launch Listen get call the fire department. I want us to keto So allen i'm like, all right, we're gonna do it. We're gonna get the fucking car and Allen

Starting point is 00:18:17 First of all allen, you know, he's in trouble for this. He puts sold And my name on the car I don't have a license and my credit. I have one credit card for 800 dollars allen puts sold on the car You know, he's being reamed out for that Like they take him in the back to go You're coming Before you're even inside of her

Starting point is 00:18:44 You got this guy's name on the car this fat fuck doesn't have a license and he has no credit He's talking about patreon and ad revenue and that he just sold out some shows in dallas What are we doing here allen allen? We're trying to deal with real rich people And i'm fucking so he puts sold on it We go back Like you know, I give him all the credit information and then you know, here's the way I live I just give him the information and I go out have butt and I know what's coming next Like I know what's coming next and by the way, it ain't the keys

Starting point is 00:19:21 It ain't the keys. This ain't a rap video Nobody's throwing the keys like hey partner. Drive it off the I know what's coming next and it's a lot of pain So allen comes out he goes, hey, uh, you've never had car credit. I said, yeah The last car that I had I bought cash. I spent $10,000 in 2007 on a on a 1999 chevy suburban the one from patriot games or clear and present danger the I called it the executive vehicle It's the one that harrison for drove a woman named gloria at susuki 112 and patchhog sold me it somehow somehow Oh, I think I got a loan for that. They got me a loan for that one. I think

Starting point is 00:20:07 And that was repossessed Okay, but I don't want to go into that but that was repossessed because I remember the towing company called me and it goes It's gonna cost you have so many leans. You have so many problems so many tickets. You're gonna have to pay A certain amount of money to get this out of hawk and I went Congratulations and I said what I said on the purchase of your new suburban and I hung up the phone And then I just didn't have a car for 11 years For 11 years

Starting point is 00:20:38 Hey So the problemo is that uh, so then alan walks out alan at this point looks like His son was just killed in iraq He's going hey, uh, we got He goes so then the the manager comes out the sales manager comes out. He goes All right, he goes he goes. I just did a deal for a russian gangster who just like he he just paid all the least payments up front I go well, that's not gonna happen. So

Starting point is 00:21:10 How about we well, let's pretend we're dealing with a non russian non gangster How would we do that? Like he's trying to be cool all these car guys trying to be cool He had you did a deal with a russian gangster And he just sold the house for 28 million dollar and i'm like, hey, hey, hey None of that Calm that the fuck down Take that testosterone down Put a finger in your ass

Starting point is 00:21:32 Stimulate your prostate and get in touch with your femininity because none of that hard cock shit Is gonna happen right now. I don't know what movie you saw Where you think i'm gonna throw a bag of money at you and drive like what are you, you know? You better let your wife fuck you tonight You understand alan you're getting fucked tonight. Tell her to put on your strap on tell her you're trying something different Say I want to get fucked and come from my prostate tonight, honey So I can better understand how to put together this deal So the sales manager there goes, hey, i'm gonna work real hard on this

Starting point is 00:22:09 They didn't hire me for my good looks and i'm like they didn't hire me for my good looks and alan goes They didn't hire me. I know we just both look at him like you shut the fuck up. You fucking piker You fucked this whole thing up. I shouldn't even be here So now chase is land Rover financial is like run their bank is chase So he goes Well, you have an account at chase so this should be easy. I'm like, I actually think it'll be much harder I would prefer the bank to never have met me and have no idea who I am What my spending habits are or that I even exist

Starting point is 00:22:45 So then alan's trying to get the deal My business manager god love him, you know, he tries he really does try and you know, this is not This is not uh, this is not a shark Right, but he sees those who are representing me. He's didn't have a lot to work with right So he's calling these it's three. It's uh, it's it's it's the it's the hopeless here I mean, it's oh, it's just a bunch of hopeless people It's the three stooges on a conference call trying to put together this deal But I'm into it now. I'm like feeling it. I remember the ball because this is the mortgage days

Starting point is 00:23:19 I used to go and go listen, man. I got a real good like I remember I was trying to Howie who I talk about a lot Howie was um One of the most cutthroat and cutthroat meaning Dishonest and immoral people I'd ever met but he was also very bad at sales and didn't know anything about the products was completely uneducated, but only succeeded by his his um ability to lie In circles like if you ever met somebody who lies in circles To the point where you have now bought into some of their lies

Starting point is 00:23:52 And you have to help make some of their lies true unless you're a liar It's actually a great strategy If you lie so much and get people to believe it They are now in that they're like, well, I can't go down with the ship We got a right. It's somehow right this wrong figure and how we used to do that all the time Right. So how we how we used to try to refinance these homes They were called modular homes in like south carolina because he would call up these Retards and no offense if you live over there, but not everyone there's a bright

Starting point is 00:24:25 They would call up these people and they they own modular homes, which means it was driven down the highway on a flatbed truck And put in the dirt. Yeah Now modular has a foundation. It has a concrete slab. It is a foundation So now how we would also just try to refinance double-wides That could be driven away and the bank doesn't want to lend the double-wides because you could just say later Hey, this didn't work out. I'm out of here. Right. So how we would then lie and say it's a modular And it's clearly a double wide and then how we would then claim the borrower lied to him And then the sales manager so he'd go in he'd go into the office. He'd go listen. He goes. I got a good one

Starting point is 00:25:05 It's a modular. It's on a foundation. I've done all the homework. Don't worry about it. It's all fine And then they would find out they'd send the appraiser out The appraiser would go this is a double wide and how we go. This is not a fucking double wide I'm telling you these people are honest and then the people don't even know what they live in like the people don't know What they live in right? They don't know the difference. They have no idea They're more honest than he is So like and I used to go in with deals that could never get done I would walk in, you know, with some shitty deal and I'd be like, hey man, listen

Starting point is 00:25:39 You know, they they want a half a million dollars, but they've paid back They have a kmart card That they've paid back And it's got $1,200 on it and they've They've paid that back at every month and they'd go The sales manager go all right. We'll try to get it done, man, but this is not this is nothing

Starting point is 00:26:01 This is literally nothing. So that's what alan is that's what alan's doing He's like this guy's the comedian. He's on the Joe Rogan show and they're going alan I swear to christ if you don't bring a real if you don't bring a real buyer in here I swear to christ alan We're gonna put you on the street and he's like no no no this guy's on the Joe Rogan show this guy's a comedian He's funny and they know alan I swear to god This is the third god only knows who walked in there before me like who he walked in before me You know and so this poor guy is trying I mean we're trying to put this guy and we're gonna find out tomorrow

Starting point is 00:26:37 You know at the end of the day like he looked into the expedition like alan looked at me Looked at you guys and goes I can't tell you we're gonna get this done And this is not even fake business. I want the goddamn car he goes You know, I'm not gonna tell you we're gonna get this done He's like but we're gonna try we're staying extra late tonight when the banks open up tomorrow That's fun because by the way the banks aren't even involved yet The bank think of all the problems we've had the banks aren't even in it yet

Starting point is 00:27:08 They get in it tomorrow like they're probably talking to like some underwriter or some processor and they're like hey Got a guy's got the money his credit sucks. He wants a lease you write it off whatever But I feel bad for alan. I hope this comes through because of alan Why do you not like alan alan sucks He should have he was not a good car salesman. He was the first place we went to He did nothing. He comes out. He's already out of breath the second He walks and sees you for the first time right doesn't offer you anything nothing. Um, what you know, you either loves a cappuccino She wants to really get we're in a luxury

Starting point is 00:27:44 Car dealership. Yeah Devon made a good point. He's like he's like what what are these people lose by putting in a fucking coffee machine Yeah, I mean navigator gave you cappuccino the people who did people link and navigate much nicer couches But then you made a great point too about how when when you have a certain level of money You don't need any of the shit the guy looks at me at navigator. He looks at me the guy goes They call it the land yacht I wanted to turn around and look at him and go I have covid You guys they call it the land yacht. I want to look at him and go

Starting point is 00:28:18 Man, I just tested positive for corona virus I Nobody at Lincoln wanted to show us the cars. They were just handing it off to like Dude, we call my aunt we call my my aunts worked at like four car dealerships. They've all fired her She didn't know anything. I'm like so tell me what kind of car to get she goes She goes I don't know about bmw. She goes. What's the middle one? I'm like, do you know anything about your business? Do you know I said it's the five series. Do you know anything about your business? She goes. Yeah, she goes. Well, they fired me at Mercedes

Starting point is 00:28:51 She goes they're good cars, but they fired me and now she's working for jaguar and she goes They're gonna fire me too. I think They just fire her because she doesn't know anything about the cars. Yeah She like doesn't know none of these cut and then there's a sad little guy in Bentley This sad little british car is like, hello, mr. Dillon And I'm like, I'm giving them the number I could pay every month. He's like we can't mr. Dillon There's no way that's going to happen I'm like, I know but is there any way we could just finagle it and he's like mr. Dillon

Starting point is 00:29:18 It's not going to happen It's a different league. He keeps telling me slow. It's a different league. It's Bentley I'm like, yeah, I know but and I know it's completely unrealistic. I'm not getting a penny But I've been there like three times in the past week So I'm like, is your juicy anywhere. He's all argue as a person. It's like all argue This is how crazy it is. It's all argues a person, but he's like, I can't He's just this little emaciated small guy. They all suck so much ass. I mean They all suck

Starting point is 00:29:50 He was cool. He was cool because he's like, hey Hey, I got pulled over my helicat doing a hundred. He goes, hey He goes, hey, I had my kid in the car like they none of them care about anything He's got my kid in the car. The cops know who I am. He said, what are you doing? I said, I'm trying to go home Doing a hundred. So what? I said the BMW 7 series is big I'm like, it's the only one I fit in but people say it's uh, it makes me look too old You know, if you buy a car like that, I mean, you lease a car like that. He goes, hey, fuck them

Starting point is 00:30:15 I bought a Cadillac El Dorado and I was 24 years old Like, all right, Tommy. Well, that's he kept telling us to take our masks off Please take your mask dude. Alan Ben. Tell us what Alan said. We're sitting in Alan's office as he's putting together this doomed Deal, I don't know you guys is politics But uh, you were public as a democrat because I listened to oan in yeah, and I go they got they got a suspended on youtube Because yeah, it's because they tell like it is. Yeah, by the way, they got a deep platform for I think pumping a fake coronavirus cure They're selling an elixir like gypsies outside of a tent carnival and they got deep platform for that So that's where they're at. He goes he goes you watch one of I thought it was like a joke

Starting point is 00:30:59 Like he's like you watch one american news network. I'm like everyone's full queue now This is a retarded he is so I'm trying to curry favor with him. I go I go, hey, um Todd just texted me from uh Sherman oaks Bentley can't wait to meet you. I'm like, I'm not coming I cannot afford this car. I So then this guy goes, you know, you watch one american news network and I just said I thought kandace owens on my show I wanted to like try to curry some favor like let's chop a little bit off the price

Starting point is 00:31:28 We give kandace a platform even though she's got three million view a three million subscribers dummy She's platforming me. I'm not platforming her. Is anyone Think with their fucking brain Any she gets more views on a fucking instagram live than my show whatever whatever So we tell him that he goes I've heard the name kandace owens. Like he doesn't even know we get a like she's too mainstream for him He's like no if it's not on o own if it's not an oan Which rogan called the qanon network He's like because a guy like that comes home all day tired from not selling range rovers

Starting point is 00:32:02 And and needs to watch oan To buy the fake coronavirus cure. You know, he's ponied up some money for that. Yeah Some fucking died dude. My dad wants this is going all over this episode But my dad my friend melanie realized this my stepfather almost died She ate like chicken that almost killed her and might when my dad re told the story to me and my friend melanie We're standing in a driveway. You could see the peace in his face. He was so ready to not be married anymore and Then he was like, yeah, and then our neighbor saved her but he said it was such regret

Starting point is 00:32:36 He's like, yeah, our neighbor saw her and saved her. She you know But my dad's like, but we almost lost her she could have been gone And the the peace in his face When he said she could have been gone Versus the horror Of the neighbor Saving her I mean my my my friend melanie knows I see if my friend melanie is awake

Starting point is 00:32:58 She's probably not but she knows it was better than anybody My friend melanie was there for this whole thing where my father was literally like, oh my god Because you know, he was married for Most of his life and then he's got divorced and he goes, I'll get married again And then you start realizing halfway through the second mat you go. I don't what am I doing? I could just be single What's going on? How are you? Pretty good. Listen to me. Yeah

Starting point is 00:33:29 What's up, so you're on my podcast I wanted you to tell the story real quick if you can remember when my father Told us my stepmother almost died and he was so happy Well, there was some there was some guy who saved her like he I think he's able to melodo or something like that And I remember your fault like so he's you know, you grant your stepmother's almost dead And this guy named melodo a neighbor's like that came over and like saved her life and I remember your father like Gritted his teeth when he mentioned this guy's name

Starting point is 00:34:04 Melodo came over and And saved her and brought her and brought her back and He's telling such as well his teeth like gridded and it was like, you know I'll never forget your stepmother man. You can make a podcast out of her. She's a real She's a cold bitch Now because we're kind of trashed her on this episode because I've had about enough for She said today. I showed my father to FaceTime at a house. You know, she says she goes

Starting point is 00:34:33 How did somebody who never made any decision any right decision in his whole life end up there? It's like shut up. You can't but remember the horrible dinner she made for my birthday. Remember that Yeah, that was too Yeah, it was like it was like bold cold cuts and shit like that. It was the worst It was the most embarrassing Like the play of food for any occasion ever She's a horrible. Isn't that good? I love deli food during a celibacy. Yeah, we love we love we love wrote thanks for the Lunchables for bird deck. She's a disgusting person

Starting point is 00:35:09 I know right. Yeah, Oscar Meyer special. I mean, she's she's a repulsive witch I think he's failing from it up with a dog. Yes Your dog dying like it's all you've had for years And and she said I think he's failing and your dad was like you're failing. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, Christina goes. I think the dog is failing. That's the way she speaks to human beings That's the way she talks about living things. She's very uncomfortable the way she prefers death Like what my uncle called her late stage brain cancer She went to the house to be around and when he died because she prefers death to life

Starting point is 00:35:48 What we're gonna house they got out in like Huntington Yes, the witness protection program Yeah, it really was. I mean, you know, I mean your dad's funny. I heard like Something like you were like sorry, but you were practicing like living on the street And he got your coat because I got your coat on and it was that blue coat with like Bird shit on it that he ripped off some dog work or something Yeah, he found was like a whole it was a it was a coat that was literally from a homeless shelter from Goodwill That had that had bird shit on it and he gave it to me

Starting point is 00:36:20 This is the his wife when she moved they got married in 11th grade I was in 11th grade and she tried to convince him to take me out of catholic school They I I would drag to catholic school kicking and screaming holy trinity and then she goes take him out in his senior year Now by the way, the school That I would have gone to was Lakeview, which is the school of old gang members And then I went to summer school there once it was this Italian woman miss rwisi Who used to take a tit out and breastfeed her kid in the back of class? So that's where my stepmother wanted to send me to school to like dain to school from dangerous minds

Starting point is 00:36:58 And my grandfather had to step in and pay the money. So like this woman was always like let's get rid of your kid So my daughter Cinderella She really is like, you know, you could you could put a picture Actually, I should go into wikipedia and upload a picture over the stepmother And just like your average stepmother face. I mean, you know This laugh she basically isolated your dad from everybody who he cared about It's very true. She took him away from his friends She took him away from his friends and so they they moved into some little bungalow

Starting point is 00:37:31 And now they're selling that and they're moving to a bigger house up the block They're just they're just in that era of life where they're bored and they need to shuffle things around before the end Yeah, no, it's true. Maybe boomers either get around 70 they start to get bored and they like to buy stuff because they have money Or they die that it's really what happened. You're a student of the boomer. What is it about these long-run boomers? They are fascinating people. What is it? What is it about them? They they're fascinating to me They literally get anything they wanted they used to it They got everything they wanted. I mean trump's the last boomer president. It's true. Obama was a fake boomer Obama was more generation X even though he was born in 61

Starting point is 00:38:12 But trump is the perfect example of what happens when a boomer is president, right? That's what happens. So, you know, yeah But um, which of a call it, uh, I've got it. I could go on and on about About boomers. I mean, you know, high school diploma you own a house like as the age of 20, you know what I mean? And they're always aggrieved they're always aggrieved like when you speak to them they Act like they're nothing went right and they suffered for it Like I remember when my aunt was talking about covid my aunt thought it goes She goes, you know, I just I want everyone to stay inside and put mask on she goes Because you know, I want to travel because she goes I deserve it because I've worked hard my whole life

Starting point is 00:38:54 I'm like and the way she said it then I realized I'm like everyone's worked hard their whole life Yeah, everybody's worked hard their whole life. You know, not all of us get like a new car when we're 18 You know, I mean my mother got a new car when she's 18 She put by the way, she worked at a place called the farmers market And she managed to save up enough money to buy a brand new car when she's 18 Now I have never bought a brand new car And I like worked like a slave my entire life Right, so my newest car. I just bought my newest car from 1995 the truck. It's like old rusty. What'd you get?

Starting point is 00:39:26 So it Oh, I had to get a pickup truck because I'm like, I'm almost full of hillbilly at this point I love the gun rack in the back windows the next thing you better get the you better get the guns, man We better all get the guns because fucking I'll tell you right now. Biden and Kamala, man I don't know what they're gonna do, but I I'd feel a lot better with an arsenal Uh, yeah, actually, which of the coal well, one of the flooding is that all the gun stocks like smith and west and everything like that Took a dive after buying one because because people were like, all right Well, we only have to get like military gear and deal with riot

Starting point is 00:39:59 I don't know if you noticed all the rise that disappeared all of a sudden, you know, you don't see a lot of republicans You know, you don't see a lot of republicans buying or anything like that Oh Biden and I just you know, they gave him a soulful interview today. I I'm constantly watching it where you can end the gap or something like that It'll be fun Uh, you know what? The country will go back to sleep and that'll be good. Yeah, I mean, I agree with you there I think it's very impossible the country just goes back to sleep

Starting point is 00:40:27 But I think this is what these people want when you see them all out cheering and dancing and stuff even though Supposedly according to them, there's a huge pandemic that's killing everyone and then they go right back out to dancing in the street It's like, oh, what are you people on crack? I mean, what was the last time you danced in the street about anything? Never Never a memory Maybe scoring drugs is tough like that back in the day after waiting in my car for an hour. Yes I mean, we're deeply childish country. How childish Forget it. I know right

Starting point is 00:41:02 It's what like one old a 78 year old man wins the presidency And everybody's in the street dancing season on each other, you know, the disease and everything like that It's like go in your fucking house Get going in your houses and and celebrate and shame like all of us should right There's no more shame anymore There's no more, you know, nobody has any shame Everybody's addicted to having friends and all these disgusting

Starting point is 00:41:29 It's disgusting If I see somebody over the age of 30 and they have 20 friends I go that person is severely mentally a if you have more than five friends over the age of 30 You're severely mentally ill Totally and it's because they were always bullied when I was a kid I didn't have any friends. I'm like, give me who was it, you know what I mean? Yeah, who didn't get a wedgie when they were like 10 right like some teenager I mean, I just need to do one time this this guy named robber

Starting point is 00:41:56 He grabbed me and my brother. We put him in the trunk of his car And he drove around in the freezing weather for like an hour And he dropped this off at a place. He had no idea where we were. It was like a kid. It's technically with a kid that And uh, this guy this guy later died at 9 11. I'm not kidding. He's got a 9 11 Wait a minute He became a soft smoker and he died at 9 11 Every time I see his photo in the lawyer, I say, yeah, I know that guy He packed my brother and I took it back with four bad. I could go around for an hour. Well

Starting point is 00:42:31 You get what you give Melody I you are the best. Do you want people to follow you on social media? I always give people you're a human being so I always give people the choice. Tell people where they can follow you I'm on uh, what's the instagram melody angler? Yeah, Melanie Uh Yeah, that's about it. Why eah? Yeah

Starting point is 00:42:59 I mean, I'm into a podcast right now I don't even want to talk too much about it, but I'm into this podcast. I got to talk a little bit about I know We've just been avoiding talking about it. I know I know but it's like here's the thing I get into like I don't get into a lot of content out there But there's a podcast that has no views if you go to youtube it has one view two views I'm the only one I feel special. I'm the only I'm the only one consuming this content And it's a guy who's like 500 pounds. He does a weight loss podcast on a long island He's like a comedian in every episode as he just talks about what he ate

Starting point is 00:43:31 Literally and he just goes. Yeah, I stayed on my plan today. I stayed on my points. I uh, you know You know today I had an omelet and Are you doing away in tomorrow? And it's not funny at all. Like he's a really fat guy and he does a weight loss podcast You think there'd be a lot of opportunity there for you know levity You know comedic, you know, nothing. I mean just nothing just dry Just kind of like he's talking to a friend like and then he goes every now and then he's like Hey, the live podcast is postponed due to corona and I'm like the live podcast. You're gonna do this live

Starting point is 00:44:07 Like you're gonna sit there live and tell people about your weigh-in. It's like the craziest It's the craziest thing And I knew this guy a little bit like he wasn't a nice guy. So I don't really care But I'm also like If you stumble upon what this podcast is don't shit on the guy or whatever. This is just what he does I don't know. I'm not shitting on him. It's just fascinating to me That someone it just does and I'm a fat guy like I get wanting to lose weight And if I you know when I try to lose weight, I talk about it, but like

Starting point is 00:44:42 This guy just it's every episode. It's very dry There's no humor and he just like he had one guy on He had one guy on you got to play that Ben Can we find the way to play that? Well, then they'll be able to find it. I don't think we should play it Found it anyway, but so he has one guy on who's like a health No, by the way, he brings on like a health food guy like a natural food chef. This guy's 500 pounds Can we stop with the natural foods like just Just like don't let the perfect become the enemy of the good here. Okay

Starting point is 00:45:15 So he has this natural food chef on and he goes Hey man, so what started eating healthy? This guy launches into a 10 minute tirade this natural food chef about that he used to shit 50 times a day and he had crones and His skin was bad and he had rashes and his friends were dying His friend died his stomach cancer at 40 And the other guy doesn't and then he and the natural food chef goes and listen man You know, I used to eat and then this the guy's hosting the podcast says nothing He says nothing. He's just going through tragedy after tragedy

Starting point is 00:45:49 Like I've never heard it and the host of the podcast doesn't say anything until the guy goes You know and I used to eat like shit, you know, I like donuts and maple bars and the host of the podcast goes Who doesn't Slowly say goes who doesn't this guy is just detailed One of the craziest things I've ever heard just everyone he knew died he just He like he was failing at a school because he just kept shitting And apparently it was because of his diet and this guy hosting the podcast is just like not even

Starting point is 00:46:20 Aware of what's even happened like it's just I can't list anything even remotely good So like when people ask you like, what do you listen to him? I try to find like the worst things To enjoy like the word like to understand like I need to be constantly befuddled Like if I understand something I'm almost out immediately like I get it right like I'll enjoy it But like I'm not I'm not a freak like I like funny shit, right? But I am a freak because like I I

Starting point is 00:46:48 Salivate when there's a new episode of this podcast. Yeah, I'm like this is my podcast and literally if you look at the views I'm the only one listening to it. I'm the only person Really listening to this podcast in the continental united states and every now and then he'll come out and he'll be like Hey, uh, we're number four in a health and fitness podcast in cameroon So I want to thank everyone at cameroon fullest. I'm like cameroon like it's it's so crazy It's gonna be all over the reddit. I don't know what to do I mean whatever I mean whatever happens. I just it's more viewers right than the guy gets like is it is it It's more listeners than he would get

Starting point is 00:47:25 It's more listeners than he would get right I just don't understand like I don't understand what he's doing and I listened to it I'm like, is this a call to a friend you should be having like he's putting this out as a putki. It's so bad That it's I can't stop It's so bad. It's good Like it's so so bad like he'll be like, yeah, I can't wait to go back to the regular weight watchers meeting with shila

Starting point is 00:47:52 Shila lost 50 pounds. You worked real hard Shila worked real hard and I'm like Why am why can I not stop listening to this? Why can I not stop? He goes he says about thanksgiving. He goes, you know, some people make a plan for thanksgiving. He's like, I'll tell you what I do I eat Because I eat on thanksgiving. I make it a day

Starting point is 00:48:14 Because the family's there He talked about that he was too fat to watch his nephew That he and then he apparently people started letting him watch his nephew. So he's like, I know I'm turning the corner and I'm happy about that Again, you can't put this stuff out as a comedian and not Expect people to have a reaction To that like it's I'm happy. He's not watching his nephew It's just a crazy thing to hear and I'm happy. He's losing weight like I'm not hating on it

Starting point is 00:48:44 but when he's talking about Being too big to watch to nephew and now he's like now I can watch to nephew Because I've turned the corner and he's lost like 200 pounds. God bless him He was always a dick to me and to everyone else when we did comedy But I still I want no ill will I want this show to like be bigger because it's my favorite podcast No, it's truly my it's it's truly like the only podcast I listen to a portion of every episode I've gone back to the archive I'm I'm I'm shocked by it. It's shocking

Starting point is 00:49:19 And maybe it's like one of the greatest things ever done It's just there's never an attempt at humor And it's just a serious solemn accounting of his week in losing weight And I'm like, there's nothing Even remotely funny about this but yet this is how cheap and hollow comedy is I would so much rather go see his live podcast than 99 percent of Anyone that I know To sit in a room and hear him do that just sit on a stool and be like

Starting point is 00:49:50 Well, today I was even on the scale again And sometimes you go, you know, I weigh in naked he goes, maybe this is tmi But I weigh in naked. I'm like own it Don't tell me it's there's no such thing as tmi. It's put it out there But it's so strange. I mean, what are your impressions of it? You've you've heard it It's so tragic I mean, it's it's it's tragic But listen, my life is tragic. Everything's tragic. I mean, listen, my life is tragic

Starting point is 00:50:20 Not coming out of closet. I'm 25. I mean, listen, I have a rough life Like I mean not now because I'm making money and everything and I get to do what I love I'm not trying to get on a whole thing here But like I don't see myself as less tragic than him. I mean, I guess whatever Now I am but like I I I come from tragedy I come from like a sexless Loveless life or the majority of my life like being ashamed of who I am and all this time I mean, I'm not trying to play to fill here, but I'm not trying to shit on someone else. Go your life is tragic

Starting point is 00:50:49 I mean, I've listened to the his it ain't great But that's his it is but can you use a different word than tragic? Uh, uh, it's like it's funny not every good buddy gets to be a good-looking golfer and falls in love with a chicken college Some of us have problems It's like when I listen to it, it's like it's like funny to your bones Like it's the way he just deadpan delivers like every Like just the minutiae of his life from every way. It's either he doesn't know what he's doing Or he's an underappreciated comic genius in a way and I don't think it's choice b

Starting point is 00:51:28 But I I don't know But I will tell you this I laugh on that show. I don't he's not trying to make me laugh But what he's saying sometimes is like brutally funny And I I think if he knew it was funny, it would ruin it. Yeah, it would He's like an Andy Kaufman type thing. I don't know what's going on I just know I don't know if this means anything to him. I've no idea. It's a hundreds of thousands of people and you You are my favorite podcaster

Starting point is 00:51:55 It's true though. It's my favorite podcast. It's my favorite podcast. I think it's very funny It there's a brilliance to it that I don't know if he understands or that I'll ever understand He had his sister on and she goes We've been with her anyway. He has his sister in law and she goes He goes, you know, I'm not really losing because you're eating too much food. He goes, but you don't understand He starts to get mad Again, there's no comedic bone. Like he's not going back in her in a funny way She goes you're eating too much food. He goes. No, you don't understand

Starting point is 00:52:28 He goes a lot of those times I'm under my points like on weight watchers have the points. He goes, you don't understand like, uh He goes a lot of those days when you look at the points. I'm actually under eating And she just shoots him a look she goes, you don't need the pancakes and the eggs and the he goes But no, no, no, it's under my it's under my points And he goes, I'm under eating He's arguing with her that he's under eating And he's like 400 pounds and she's staring at him and to me

Starting point is 00:52:57 It's some of the greatest comedy I've ever I've truly ever seen in my life Like I've never seen like you have a 500 pound guy arguing that he's under eating dead face straight face Like not a scantilla of irony not a joke Not a moment of levity to be had and he's getting mad and you can see it and and and you feel the tension between both of them And to me, I'm like there's this is real. This is funny This is what I like

Starting point is 00:53:29 You can wind up and throw out all kinds of jokes at I don't even fuck right But there's something about a big guy. Yeah Going you don't understand. I'm under eating That's the problem if there's any problem instead. I'm under eating. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a christopher guest like sketch almost Yeah, yeah, so I'm just saying that's my favorite podcast do that do with do with it. What do you will? So the king of comedy and that Those are my favorite podcast I'm not attacking the guy. I enjoy it. I just he's a he's kind of a nasty guy. He admits that he's a nasty guy

Starting point is 00:54:07 He says I'm kind of a prick He's a prick, but I like that he kind of owns that and I think the show is actually Very strange So if you listen to this you find out figure out what it is which you all willing him 30 seconds Probably you're gonna be like why does Tim like this? But then maybe you just don't understand the wavelength. I'm on I think it's funny I mean, I just I think it's funny. I was just waiting for you to talk about it. I had to talk about it I'm making Ben listen to it now. It's so good. It's so good. I mean, no every week

Starting point is 00:54:47 I want to know about the after Thanksgiving way in All he took you by the way, I don't think he's mentioned the pandemic the the race war the civil war the economic collapse Donald trump It's just weight loss Every week you would think that he would just go like hey those riots, huh? Just an aside, but he never does he just stays And he just does that stuff. He goes, you know, if you believe it it can happen

Starting point is 00:55:18 He goes, you just got to put in the work and you got it and it's like I don't know man. Every comedian is tragic, right? We're all tragic That's the whole point and then when the cut there's comedians that aren't tragic and they're you know, whatever It's like is that I don't know. It's never the comedy. I've enjoyed right Doesn't mean like you could see a really good-looking comic and you could be like Oh, what is why is that guy have to be funny that guy's got it all but then you meet them and you go Oh, they're tragic. Yeah, they're like deeply tragic. They can't feel it's horror. So I don't not ever judging anyone I guess I am a lot though

Starting point is 00:55:56 But what I'm saying is take this for what it is Understand what I'm saying here. This is my favorite podcast I Love it. I love it I'll be driving in the car and I eat a flan fishing. I wonder how many points this has And he just goes on he goes. Yeah, you know this week I'm down 0.02, which I don't even know what that means Some like fraction of a pound 0.02. Okay. It's like a fraction

Starting point is 00:56:30 He goes, but we're still down But I wanted more and next week I'm gonna have more But again, nothing not like it would be so easy to throw in a joke. I think that's what's interesting Yeah, but he doesn't do it and I almost like that. He does if he tried to be funny on this thing I would hate it. Yeah, it would be like I can't even do it. But the fact that he's just Day in and day out just doing it I like I respect it. I like like the show

Starting point is 00:57:00 I mean, maybe he hears this or something. He thinks it's like an attack. It's not an attack I'm confused But I also enjoy it and I think it's awesome. You lost so much weight. I mean, it's incredible Yes, yeah, it's a lot of weight. I mean all the disclaimers here that we can make. Yeah My point is that when I hear the show, I don't know what I'm listening to But I can't stop listening Now if that's if that's bad, you don't understand what good is Because if I'm not stopping listening, I was gonna buy one of the meal bars that sponsors him

Starting point is 00:57:36 He's also sponsored by a deli. I was gonna go there, but it's in new york But my point is that if the test of anything is just that I don't turn it off It's hard for me to turn off I don't like when he has guests. Sometimes the guests are really good. Yeah, but I like him solo He's just gotta go solo. Yeah He's just gotta do it solo This is the type of These are the type of podcasts. I really enjoy like podcast. It shouldn't exist and do

Starting point is 00:58:09 Cause what a podcast is just somebody with a mic going. Hey, here it is Here it is now This is uh what we're doing. I mean, they're so bad. Dude, so many podcasts are so bad Yeah, I mean, they're just bad because these are the same people That wouldn't know It's like there are people out there that are really under the impression. They're attractive And I guess that gets the mask because people like confidence, right? Yeah, but then there are the people that are under the impression that they're interesting that gets you nowhere

Starting point is 00:58:44 Like if you if you can't hold someone's interest with what you're saying and you think you can That just gets you me That just gets you me as a fan because I want to like Just I I want to know why what this is Because that to me is fascinating. I like authentic and real and there's nothing more authentic and real than this podcast There's nothing in it That should happen There's not one choice made. That's the correct choice

Starting point is 00:59:15 But here's the thing how many podcasts fail miserably making all of those right choices, right? Right So no no comedic choices are made that are correct. But that being said now we're getting into what makes it truly great because it's Crazy It's not I couldn't even call it bad. It's just I don't know why it exists And I can't stop listening to it and I don't want it to end

Starting point is 00:59:49 I want up to lose enough weight. I guess where it doesn't have to do anymore, but I can't not listen to it because of the severity and the seriousness And he's not like an unfunny guy like he's not the funniest guy like at all but The choices he makes to not be funny at all. I think it's phenomenal I think it's absolute I think it's kind of brilliant in a level that no one would appreciate Outside of me. That's why I am the view

Starting point is 01:00:20 He puts in an episode that has one view. I am the view every time I get mad when there's like four views I'm like, who are they? This is for me He refreshed it twice Someone hit it by accident and then I'm the view my average listen is the whole episode. Oh, I do the whole episode Sometimes I do it in bits You know, I'll be rocking out in a car and then I go let me get 50 minutes to him and then I go back to music And then I go back to listen to something I did to see if I use the word I'm too many times and then I go back to him

Starting point is 01:00:51 And he's talking to somebody from his way watchers group And I'm like, I'm like, I don't know why Maybe I I am a fat guy. I get it. I get how hard it is to be to be a fat. I mean, it's tough, man It is hard to lose weight It's difficult. I'm trying I've been trying. I think if I really focus I could pull off like 40 pounds I'll never be thin There's a certain time in your life when the six pack like You got to give that up that people go. No, you can still have hey shut up. Hey. Hey. Hey

Starting point is 01:01:23 Go preach that shit with gary v. I don't have the time I do real fake business but I do want to survive. I'm a godfather to a kid now You know, and I mean Dan But no, I'm a godfather to my friend's son and my friend and his wife. Let's be honest to degenerates I'm gonna have to raise that kid. I mean these two are like and I respect them, but they're they're they're animals You know, I mean they're animals

Starting point is 01:01:50 and I want to survive because I'm like This kid I want to I want to do the right thing and and be able to help the kid out or whatever and like She want to lose weight like I got to get healthier. I gotta survive this covid shit makes you think you're like, yeah, man I gotta I gotta pull together. So as a fat guy I know let me light a cigarette as I say that I want to survive I just want to throw me the lighter. But as a fat guy, we're gonna go long here. We're gonna go a few minutes longer folks

Starting point is 01:02:21 I'm sorry We're just gonna have to do a little longer for your five dollars or 20 dollars for the Rothschilds Remember that daily show cunt jennifer edmund was like, uh, it's anti-semitic that you have a Rothschilds here I'm like, bitch. Will you shut up? She said that she made some allusion to it on twitter I'm like, bitch. No one thinks the old Jews are the Rothschilds. Jenna. That's absurd. Okay. That's like thinking all comedians are you As I like my morbler light, which I think is not bad for you But I do and please don't I don't have patreon on my phone So I don't really know what your comments are. I can't because I'll fight with you people all day

Starting point is 01:02:59 I can't be involved And I won't get anything done. It's not even that I don't feel that you're worthy of fighting I just call I won't get anything done. That's why I don't go on things. I just won't get anything done And I'll just end up Fighting with everybody all day. That's like, well, why didn't you say this? I'm like, I did Listen to this like And at a certain point but I've hired a trainer Who's dead of covet

Starting point is 01:03:29 Oh Now that is sad No, but I I'm Trying to get it together. So as a fat guy when I listen to this podcast, I get it I get the yo-yoing and the bullshit and the going up and down you do keto you lose 30 You look a little better. You start going at the ego. I'm gonna get a handful of calamari and I look good You hook up with an attractive person If I hook up with an attractive person the day after I hook up with them, I eat like you have no idea

Starting point is 01:04:04 I mean, I just go, okay got that in Now let's really get like abuse myself and I just eat like, you know, bad So I know what that feels like because you can't get rid of food. You can get rid of drugs I got rid of drugs and alcohol so like But it's just so funny to do it the way he does it It was like deadly serious I like it so much better God don't ruin it with jokes. Don't ruin it with jokes

Starting point is 01:04:32 And listen if I'm the only fan, let me be the only fan It's a better fan and so many don't have 2,000 fans that are nobodies. I am A big podcaster and I'm telling you right now. This is my fucking. That's my show That podcast is my show When he comes on And he starts talking and he's got a guest on talking about somebody's asshole bled and Some guys bleeding out of his asshole all day and that's why I decided to stop eating Doritos

Starting point is 01:05:03 That's my show Because it's so crazy. Like patrice and y'all had a good point once he's like, it's funny to say I'm dying from sugar Yeah, it's like funny You know But it truly is one of those things where it's like people struggle with their weight their entire life And then people my mother was overweight People don't understand what it's like to struggle with your weight go back and forth you you were a little chubby when you were boozing But you do you 235 at my biggest. Yeah, when I cut the booze though, I lost like 30 pounds. Yeah

Starting point is 01:05:30 Yeah But that Is that's big 235 is pretty big for you. Yeah, because I'm 180 now 185. Yeah, so yeah But I think my biggest I was like 340 330 I was big I was big and it's like it really is tough When you are somebody that just goes back and forth by listening to this podcast and I'm like There's just nothing better out right now There's just nothing better When he goes he goes Thanksgiving he goes I

Starting point is 01:06:09 He goes Thanksgiving he goes I eat I make a day of it with the family I get there early they're cooking I eat It just it takes over your life It's why I stopped going to AA and I'm not telling anyone to stop going to AA by the way if you go to AA But I went to AA for a while, but I also got to a point where I go Do I want to sit in a room and talk about booze for the next 40 years and the answer is no And by the way, that's not what AA is and I'm gonna try to Delegitimize AA because I think it's great in the beginning and for many people throughout their entire life

Starting point is 01:06:39 It would not hurt me to go back to meeting at all ever Um, it's good But you know, I got to a point with it where I went You know AA has got a five percent Rate of success meaning that I think five percent of people stay in it I think it's got a much higher rate of success when you look at how many people have utilized important skill sets Uh an important skill set or a knowledge base from that about themselves And then they just move on and it doesn't mean that they're

Starting point is 01:07:07 Means you can move on you don't have to you know But I moved on because I'm like I don't need and that doesn't mean if you're in month two It's a variety. It's time for you to move on. Don't listen to this podcast. You're like, what's time for me to move on? um But I got to a point where I go I didn't you go to an AA meeting once and you're like, it's super depressing. Well, it reminded me of uh church Everyone had the crosses and the praying and I did that for 21 years. It just right. Yeah. It was upsetting. Yeah, it was really upsetting Here's the thing about an AA meeting when you go to one

Starting point is 01:07:37 You better make sure you're done drinking because drinking won't be fun It'll ruin drinking for you if you're just a casual drinker. This may be drinking a little too much Don't go to an AA meeting if you're an alcoholic like I am and like Ben is You know, it's good to see you can't ever drink again. No, no never no No, and at the AA meeting, you know, I saw people that got sober really late after they've lost everything They've like I lost my house and my family and it's like Jesus Christ It's heavy It's heavy they they've lost it all but it's still good to be sober. Yeah, those people dying sober is a gift

Starting point is 01:08:11 to die sober as a gift you know And I mean, I'll die sober. I will never drink again. I'll never smoke pot again. I'll never I don't really want to do psychedelics or shrooms or DMT. It doesn't I had my time for that I had my time. I you know, I don't need to go on ayahuasca retreats and all these fucking losers in LA that are I'm sober. I used to have a joke in my act. I still do but I just a joke I do in LA where I'm like It's LA sober if you ever ask anyone who's sober in LA. They're like, yeah, I'm sober, man I'm not drinking they're like I still smoke pot a little bit. I do shrooms and xanax. I was on an ayahuasca retreat

Starting point is 01:08:43 I'm a shaman actually I lead them, you know, and I'll take pills every now and then some painkillers and barbiturists a box And methadone I have a car to go to the clinic, you know and heroin, you know in trivenus though You know, I don't snort that shit. I just I do heroin You know, there's nothing wrong with heroin really other than the you know withdrawals in the addiction But you know clean heels go down a needle exchange, but I you know, but I don't I don't drink beer I'm not some drunk So yeah, I mean I don't want to I don't want to plug the podcast because I've said only nice things about it though

Starting point is 01:09:21 That's a thing. I've only said nice things. So I feel I don't know what You gotta find a rug outside for this fucking I've only said nice things about and I wish everyone the best. I hope he keeps losing weight. I will keep listening to him Yes, I love new york. I don't want it. I'm just in in terms of pure comedy There's nothing funnier than a 120 pound white kid from vermont Tweeting that we don't need cops just getting raped to death on the williams bird bridge Here's a problem. There's nothing funnier than that. I think what's gonna happen is like those people will leave and like

Starting point is 01:09:56 The new york that sustained all that violence like was like actual people who lived here It wasn't like people who like, you know came here to be a clown and and then like Bounce as soon as you know, like, you know, applebee's clothes, you know, whatever the fuck I mean, well, there was a lot of people that came here to be artists It just stuck it out. They were tough back in the day But me and you always talked about you're gonna get all that violence and all that poverty and none of the art Dude, none of it. I my boss You know, it was saying when trump got elected, uh, he was like speaking to the company going like, hey, you know, uh,

Starting point is 01:10:30 this is not great, but uh It might be the silver lining might be that, you know, we return to, you know, an age of great art You know, like punk and fucking this not not one not one Fraction of that came true Not one thing for all turmoil on both sides both sides Neither, you know, there haven't been time in recent in decades when both sides have been this Amped up and felt like, you know, whether whether you feel like you're

Starting point is 01:10:57 You know, white supremacist who feels like your country slipping away or or the other people either I mean, no one's made anything of substance on either side It'd just be great to like bring these guys back and like bring Duke Ellington back and go Put your horn down his hand the microphone. Go. What'd you do today? He's like, what? Like this is what we do now for eight hours every day He goes, what are you talking about? I go, that's the only way to make a living now. What do you think? What do you think about things to count because I just want to play the fucking, you know Whatever the a-train or whatever. I don't know what he's fucking

Starting point is 01:11:30 You know, we're like, no, no, no, just talking about your wife. Is it a pussy smell? What about your wife talking about your wife's pussy for three hours? He goes, what? It's just like you want to talk about art. This is the collapse of art in such a total and absolute way You can't even imagine it coming back. Can you imagine if someone did make a seminal work of art right now? Like no one would give a shit Who would appreciate world morons Like there's nothing I mean, if you imagine one of the like these random movies that amazon produces for like, you know

Starting point is 01:12:06 Just streaming on prime was like the next godfather. We wouldn't even know it. Who gives me? Yeah, we'd be like this sucks This thing sucks I want to watch Cobra Kai season four. By the way, I'm really excited for the Season four of Cobra Kai because it's people are like, it's too white. I can't I just hope there's a like a third There's got to be a fourth dojo now ran by like a morbidly obese black chick Who's like, I want to learn karate. Yo, I want to learn karate And they're like, who's this and they're like, this is Shamika's dojo Shamika's like, yeah, like I love karate

Starting point is 01:12:44 And the show is already pretty diverse, isn't it? I mean like it's got a lot of different Not enough not enough. I thought the problem was because like there was no like specifically that there was no Japanese Main character. No, no, no. The problem is that Lizzo isn't running a dojo They the problem is that they haven't injected a storyline that makes no sense And is completely not grounded in reality and is laughably cartoonish, you know It's rake. It's it's like me and you saying there's not enough fat people in Baywatch You know We're fat. We don't want to watch fat people in Baywatch. What the fuck's that?

Starting point is 01:13:26 Like you want to watch lifeguards be hot and save people It's like a I never watched Baywatcher went but there there's no one that looks like me I think I think it helped you though You could have you could have been think about how much more confident you would be if there was a fat kid on Baywatch Who looked like you you could I mean, but that kind of confidence would be so destructive You know It would you by the way, you're right and that kind of I could see of no way To getting to be a true sociopath

Starting point is 01:13:59 Then if I grew up watching fat kids on Baywatch jump around in the water I mean, I would be a I'm pretty confident now For for for like no real reason the idea that if we just watched fat whales Frolicking on a beach. Can you imagine what monsters we would have become? I don't even know what that I don't know where this ends. Honestly. It's like I think what just yeah the kids just like I

Starting point is 01:14:30 Who who was looking at like when is the when's the answer become like Mainstream culture like wasn't the whole point of like everything we learned even in school was like, oh, don't don't follow Like when you jump off a roof when you jump off a fence or whatever cliff like yeah, you jump off a bridge. Would he do it? Yeah, and it's like what's no idea like to be I have spoken When did we start going on like if you if you're not represented by corporate like things that we still use to sell french fries Then somehow you don't matter like that's the weird that that's like a bizarre angle of it I get like I'm an idiot. I get the other point like Yeah, if you don't grow up seeing black you don't grow up seeing black

Starting point is 01:15:09 Yeah, I get that to a point but at a certain point. We're just like Asking who can sell fucking them shrimp fest every year but it's also like It's just like What did we grow up and what like home improvement? We grew up and watching the idiot go like I like tools like there was no I don't know like what what did I learn that I could be an idiot Oh, I learned that I'm gonna get cucked by my wife every every week

Starting point is 01:15:35 Yeah, we're gonna learn that I I'm gonna have a show called tool time about sauce Like we're like what I don't understand like the drew carry like the drew carry should I give me some fat idiot with some Like I don't even know what he did like I don't even know like what were these shows supposed to inspire us to even do He I don't even know some random company I don't do it one but then his she and his friends in season four or five Started their own like, you know micro brewery or something and they would just make beer and caffeine in it Uh, that like it's also like dude. It's like roseanne like most shows we watched the families were like fucked Yeah, like roseanne's family was fucked. They were four two pounds and had no money

Starting point is 01:16:16 They tried to they tried to start a loose meat restaurant. Remember that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Yeah, it's like wait a minute. What did we learn for watching roseanne that you could work in a diner? And eventually And eventually like a fall for Q and on like I what what exactly What exactly was the great lesson from all these what like I guess you had to go back to like family ties Alex p. Keaton like there was like a few shows where like they were but like But every show is what mr. Bell better if it's just big jay-z and Beyonce like isn't that better Isn't that like a more right a kind of more concentrated like

Starting point is 01:16:55 Deluding it like we believed all kinds of shit like mr. Belvedere. It's like, oh, I guess I'll get a butler one day I guess my parents will move some fat british pedophile into my house They will teach me that guy. What was the story there? Why was he why are they I think it just fucked the kids Yeah I mean it's like Everything we grew up with it was like mr. Belvedere some dude just by the way the house wasn't even like that big They clearly weren't that rich. They just had this middle-aged british man That's the thing even though like he clearly wasn't there like normal

Starting point is 01:17:32 It wasn't a normal thing he'd be there about there. It was like he was just like living with them Like yeah, different Harry in the hand was like legit rich harry in the henderson's where it's like Oh, bigfoot lives in the house like a sasquatch Lives in the house like with any race have been better if there was a family that adopted a sasquatch That live with them like it's just when you unpack this you're like, what exactly Are did you want like step by step that blended family with susan summers and patrick duffy right on tgif We're like that the whole family hated each other because still like it was from just this weird divorce It was all tragic

Starting point is 01:18:16 I'm trying to remember like the shows That's sure they're probably they're probably cheating with each other before they got divorced like those kids probably hate the other one Yeah, it was a broken home. Yeah step by step. It's like that's what you say to drug addicts We're trying to get clean like And then there was like the shows like friends where it's like Yeah, you could live in new york city and be a failed actor and Live in a big apartment and earn no money and like all these unrealistic Horrible shows that like doom does to failure right they're like doom friends made it cool to have like nine roommates in your 40s

Starting point is 01:18:52 That's a great point. It's actually the most destructive thing is seeing yourself on the reflected back It's the worst idea asians didn't have it. They're doing great Like they're doing great. They didn't need to be an asian version of friends with seven asian losers They can't do they can't fucking remember to get milk unless nine of them go to the it. What is this? I just don't understand It's when you unpack it you're like maybe the worst thing in the world is that we saw ourselves on tv, right? Dennis france in nypd blue. I too can be a fat racist cop good Thank god

Starting point is 01:19:30 Beverly Hills 90210 Yeah, like oh, that's realistic. I could be hot and 35 and play a teenager like I can be in uh in a high school It's like well, no, he's not like the real world and these are the reality show They're growing up watching reality shows and getting on to reality shows like there's a cycle of just like And then they you know, then they have a kid and they get diabetes. I don't know how it ends But it's like it's just it really is already like a dystopian fucking novel. It's fucking it's grotesque Yeah, I mean it's like teen moms and it's like 19th season. Yeah, I think they're not even teen moms

Starting point is 01:20:09 But they're like 46 It's like crazy. I don't know if I'm gonna have this kid like you're a lawyer. We talking about yeah We went to go look at apartments today, uh, just to see them and you know, who knows I think I talked about it on the main show It's like maybe the move is an apartment. So we went to this building, uh in uh, Santa Monica, which is a real Citrus City, Citrus City real high-end Building just to look at it. See what's going on over there Really hot woman Walks, you know, first of all when we walk in these buildings like Ben walks in first and they're like, hello

Starting point is 01:20:51 And then I walk in I'm like, hello, and they're like, oh They're like, are you and I'm like, I'm the decision maker and they're like, right, okay Uh, so then they're all like, well, I guess we by law have to show you these things and I'm like, correct Correct. So we go on a tour of this apartment. The woman looks at me. She goes, we have a gym You don't need to see the gym, right? I'm like, no, I believe you there's a gym So then she goes you get free complimentary breakfast It's like when you're a fat person you just treat it like this all the time She goes there's free complimentary breakfast

Starting point is 01:21:24 She goes, it's a continental breakfast But she goes, we also have hot food because of COVID We don't have the hot food out, but she goes, don't worry about it When COVID's over we have eggs and bacon and bagels and locks She does that for no one else, by the way, and it's like they're slinging really expensive apartments It's just hilarious that the sales point is bagels. She's like, we got locks and bagels and eggs You like that you fat fuck, don't you? You don't have to see the gym, right? Because we don't want you dying in it So we have big bowls of eggs

Starting point is 01:21:54 We have a butler service They'll bring the eggs right up to your apartment and shove them in your fat gullet And you're like, okay ban, by the way, they're like you want to see the gym You want to see the lap pool with me? They're like, here's a nice room where you can sit Here's a theater. We have a screening room So you can sit here and it's you can reserve it and just sit in here alone So you don't have to be outside with other good-looking people We know that makes you nervous

Starting point is 01:22:20 So you could just lock yourself in our screening room for three hours and cry How about that fatty? We've rented to pigs like you before we know what amenities you really want She the first thing they start telling me about she goes We have a butler service that brings the food to the unit This is literally the first thing out of her mouth. She goes we have a butler service So the food comes in and then the food goes to the butler service and then the butler server brings it up to unit So you don't have to do anything. You don't have to leave your unit and have everyone see you

Starting point is 01:22:55 Storming downstairs like an angry rhinoceros trying to find out where the poke bowl is They just put it they open the door and they just shove it right at you She didn't she focused on like the health center for literally one minute. She's like here outside here are our chairs Here's the seating area. You like sitting don't you? So then we're walking around. She's showing us the units and some of them are nice But some of them are whatever. I mean, these are apartments, right? Every modern new apartment is the same thing every single one and if you want to read the best um

Starting point is 01:23:33 criticism of architecture and urban planning That is out there right now a a gill who is a travel writer For the sunday times of london and vanity fair Scottish guy who wrote some of the best articles on steak on cities on travel. He was politically incorrect Um, you know, like I think he said once he's like korean is this is this year's must have asian And you know like he just said things like that But he was a brilliant writer and he wrote one of my favorite articles ever written is called condos of the living dead

Starting point is 01:24:08 And it is great and it is really about The new high-end and I'd never been in one. I mean, I've lived in new york city for years I had really really never been in like a high-end apartment building and I'd never had the sales uh Team though the woman the hot chick Lead you around the apartment and show you all the amenities And I wanted to do it and one of the reasons I wanted to do it is because I love that article condos of the living dead And he talks about it

Starting point is 01:24:39 And I mean, it's just so good I mean, do you have it up? I do. Oh you have it up read some of it I mean, it's it's one of those articles that is so Pitch perfect when they talk about the people that sell you um You know these apartments and everything like that. I want to find the part of it that I really like And again, I would just recommend that you read it But it's so

Starting point is 01:25:04 Funny and he talks about how well this is about lifestyle, which is the word that they all talk about right? It's all about lifestyle and uh, and he talks about it and he really is some of these lines That really really get me here About these things Salespeople haunt the empty apartment spinning a life made of brushed steel and 12 shades of indian marble After a time the repetition of this lifestyle blends all the apartments into one apartment They all have minute hundred thousand dollar kitchens that no one will ever toast more than a bagel in

Starting point is 01:25:39 Which is just as well because there's no way to sit and eat anyway. There are hardly any dining rooms even living rooms No new new york style has a great room a place to plug in your laptop Prop up your flat screen suck starbucks and surf soapy asian babes The bedrooms are for solitary fear and chemical unconsciousness They seem to contain just enough oxygen for a single night's sleep These apartments don't have space for a family or dogs with hair or lives That involve more than the passive absorbing of electronic stimuli and emails So that's really the brilliance of the article. You gotta read the fucking article

Starting point is 01:26:19 But this chick comes out and she's hot Persian good-looking not an extra ounce of fat on her black hair Decent skin really good skin Some going on on the forehead. I wasn't completely in love with but it is what it is They're an oily people persians. Are they not? I don't really know But ben was like whoo like ben You know as a christian boy with a wife. So he doesn't really You know, but he noticed how attractive she was in like a boyish way

Starting point is 01:26:48 He kind of knows I mean she was an attractive woman the high hills the clicking and the clacking. Yeah It was very very very hot ben was like fighting with himself. He's like wow, this is I'm having thoughts that jesus doesn't like But this woman was hot now, of course, I don't give a shit Doesn't matter to me if she pulled out a big hog It would have been interesting like if she sat on one of these countertops and started jerking like a fat eight inch cock I would have been like this is kind of interesting and then she could have serviced both me and ben in different ways In one of the apartments who would have been great But she didn't do that. We're walking around. We're looking at these apartments and listen if you know anything about

Starting point is 01:27:29 10,000 Santa Monica, there's really only one question. I want to ask and the question is Where did steve bing Jump from steve bing friends with bill clinton ron berkel used to hang out with them hollywood, what was he screenwriter producer screenwriter a producer? Yeah, he hung out with rob low and all those guys hung out with all those guys rob low who also lives at 10,000 Santa Monica and steve bing Jumped to his death because he was broke Who knows or because maybe he called bill clinton

Starting point is 01:28:03 He's like we've done a lot of bad things and I just got to get some of them off my chest You know bill clinton made a phone call. He's like, hey, man. This is just not the same steve We knew and that's probably the code in those circles for like he needs to go It's just not the same steve. We knew man steve calls him crying going like I can't believe the things we've done We're gonna burn in hell for it. I just got to get him off my chest and he's like no no don't worry about it Steve listen, you're a good man You go to bed And you know and this sales bitch this hot sales bitch

Starting point is 01:28:32 Probably fucking turned off the cameras and let the fucking massage in there to throw him off the balcony And she'll do the same thing for me, but I said to her I said can we ask you an inappropriate question? She's like, of course you can I think she was she might have been down to fuck She was down to fuck ben. She would have let me watch She would have said listen pig you sit in the corner of the room and dittle yourself while this man fucks me She would have absolutely been into that She would have said we know what you're gonna get out of this You sit in the corner and watch him fucking beat up my pussy on this fucking tiny little kitchen island

Starting point is 01:29:07 With a great view everybody could come now Don't touch me pig, but everyone can come and then rent the apartment But of course I wasn't pushing that I just wanted to know where Steve Bing jump from I said and she goes Oh, I'm not going to tell you that and I said, okay, and she goes. Do you really want to know? I said, yeah, she goes the unit you're in right now The unit she was showing us on the 27th floor. Yes is where Steve Bing Jumped off the Juliet balcony, which means you can't put furniture on it Right, but you can just stand on it look outside and jump

Starting point is 01:29:43 and She's like this unit right now. I'm like really and she goes yep And I was like fuck And I looked at her and I said well At least he got a view of the pacific while he was doing it and she looked at me and without missing a beat She said you can also see all of downtown She was just perfect Absolutely perfect

Starting point is 01:30:08 You can also see all of downtown not missing a beach because yes, Steve was a good guy. I said, yeah People have problems, you know, so we're standing there and Steve Bing's apartment And by the way, that is how fucked Steve Bing was at the end of his life He lost all this money and I didn't realize it He lost so much money that some podcaster might rent his apartment Or is at least thinking about it. What a nightmare for Steve Bing How bad was it the last indignity? That a podcaster would rent that apartment and maybe I would kill myself in the exact same way

Starting point is 01:30:43 What if I took that apartment and killed myself in the exact Same way that Steve Bing did then it would just be the apartment where everybody dies We call this the suicide suite Tim Dillon threw himself off it before that it was Steve Bing Ben so funny Ben says he's such an interesting kid He goes, maybe we could you know, maybe you could try to get some money off if you know You bring up the Bing thing and I'm like, yeah, they'll they'll rent it to just some Chinese person Who has no idea who he is or they'll rent it to the guy that killed him

Starting point is 01:31:17 She'll look at me and she'll be like, will you shut the fuck up? I'll rent it to the guy that killed him She's like I pushed him Wouldn't that be great if she looked at me and I said, yeah, man people have mental problems. She goes I pushed him She goes there was a hundred grant there was a there was a bag of a hundred thousand dollars in my car That day I knew what I had to do There was a seven minute span of time the security cameras were off And I went up there. I took my top off. I said Steve I want to fuck

Starting point is 01:31:47 And he said yeah, and I said, yeah, fuck me up against the right up against the julia balcony at the window And then she just turned around and pushed him off somehow Magic she hears this like we go back in She's like so, uh, someone I know is a member of your patreon service and uh You did an episode saying that I killed steve being I fucked Steve Bing to death off the balcony and I'll go well, this is how I This is how I make a living and I

Starting point is 01:32:19 You did tell me all about the continental breakfast. Did you not what did you think of the building? I mean, it's a nice building Beautiful building beautiful building. Um We did confirm it is it is steve bing's room though because he did jump from the 27th floor by the way So that is a bing a ling that is a hundred percent true Bing a ling but they do everything what if I didn't stop saying that I was like bing a ling bing a ling We they do everything for you. They literally will wash your car. They'll drive you to the airport They'll give you a free car for two to three mile radius and they will turn off their security cameras and let the massage kill you

Starting point is 01:33:00 She goes you don't even have to kill yourself We will literally throw you off the balcony of your building at the behest of a crime family like the clans Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it one phone call. You're out of here Supposedly his girlfriend had killed herself a year before and then the quarantine was getting to him back in june That's that's what I've been I've been reading about it a lot today So it's a combination of he was broke the quarantine was getting to him He was coming off the an on the anniversary of his girlfriend overdosing on zanex. She got from his palm springs home Yeah, well these people by the way

Starting point is 01:33:38 A lot of these people are living lives and they're in the shit That you don't know what they're doing and you don't know why people are odian or they're killing themselves And maybe it's just because if you have that kind of money Everything sucks Maybe that's it. Maybe he just secretly wants to storm the capital Like maybe maybe that's what all these rich people want when they kill themselves They're like, I just want to get sucked into Something that makes me want to storm the capital

Starting point is 01:34:08 I don't know. Maybe they're just like I want to fucking You know, they're like i'm sick of being the target of qanon. I want to be in qanon I don't know He had a career. He had a run in hollywood. What did he do? Tell the people what he did? By the way, this is our r.i.p. steve bing episode. It will be titled r.i.p. steve bing How great would it be if I rent the apartment steve bing just appears every night to me? And he's like, listen you fat fuck. You know where the window is We're both kidding ourselves if you think you're gonna be here more than two months

Starting point is 01:34:42 Um, so he wrote uh kangaroo jack Uh, that was his like solo thing he wrote. Well, that was a stunning It was a total failure and an embarrassment. Was it not? He should have been thrown off the fucking balcony for that The last thing he did. Oh, so he how great would it be if they were just like this is for kangaroo jack and then throw him off This is for kangaroo jack um So he also he co-wrote conair, which that's impressive. That's a good great movie man

Starting point is 01:35:11 The last thing conair So the last thing he did is he were the convicts Take over the plane. Oh, wow, right. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Interesting. Why'd you say wow? Well, I There's a connection there, right? Well Conair, let's just go with it, right Conair the convicts take over the plane 9 11. Yeah the terrorists take over the plane See this is if I was a q and on guy, that's all I'd have to say That's what's so lazy conspiracies are now all you would have to say is that and people would just start nodding

Starting point is 01:35:45 And go fuck. Yeah, man. This super chat money just starts coming in like crazy. Did you start throwing you the cash? I'm like, I made that connection. I made that connection for you pay me um, so the film that he had produced and flopped was the Uh, I think most recently the rules don't apply. It's the Hughes biopic directed by warren beaty Betty on baby, baby, man Get it right warren beaty. I got a fucking legend. Sorry stick tracy, motherfucker I think he used to fuck madonna warren beaty. Really? Yeah

Starting point is 01:36:17 So he used to roll around with like james con and roblo in the 80s. He was part of the they called him the rag tag Yeah, whatever was things were good. Yeah, things were good Get a house in bel-air things were good and he was hanging out bill clinton Mick jagger and ron burkle and they used to have a plane called air fuck one Where they would take people on it and fuck them And I'm sure everybody on that plane had their license checked So steve being hollywood producer Screenwriter. I think he was good friends with tom hanks too. He threw a hundred million into polar express. Uh-oh

Starting point is 01:36:52 So, uh-oh, I don't know good friends with tom hanks Who knows? I don't know Isaac cappy said a thing about tom hanks, right? And by the way, like I said, if it was all true folks wouldn't shock me Would it move would not like I I haven't seen any evidence that is true But if it came out that it was true that tom hanks was part of some hollywood super secret pedophile cult I would be I would go like this. I go, huh. Yeah, well interesting

Starting point is 01:37:29 Wouldn't shock me after doing the who took johnny episodes and talking to nick bryant. Nothing would shock me I just still Nothing shocking you doesn't mean that you just run out there without any evidence and accuse people of literally the most horrible and heinous activity on earth uh Because it somehow helps donald trump I mean, it's the craziest way it's the craziest reason to free the children right because it helps donald trump by the way It's the crit. How many of these people are gonna just not care about kids after this? Oh, yeah, oh after trumps out. They're not gonna care about kids anymore

Starting point is 01:38:04 They could be like, well, I hope those kids are freed now because I don't give a shit They go if I can't if I can't I can't bash this over the head of liberals If I can't own the libs would save the kids. I ain't into it I'm gonna save the kids just to just to get The other side back They're just lifting the kids out of the tunnels now you realize why we're doing this, right? You realize where we're doing this good. It's so we can deregulate the energy markets for exxon We need enough political clout

Starting point is 01:38:39 So that donald trump can go deregulate energy markets That's why we're pulling you out of these tunnels. We actually didn't give that much of a shit Before and we won't after But I want to go in heavy to roblox tomorrow It's gonna be a massive. What is your version going in heavy? You're getting paid too much like 500 bucks Men's paid 30 dollars a month for the show What if I didn't pay you any money like the patreon's like so much money. I just didn't pay you any money No matter what I pay him. It's never enough. The wife goes, you know, it's not enough ben

Starting point is 01:39:11 I'm gonna give them a real good christmas I my goal is to have a wedding coming up and where you doing it like a taco truck, right? No in green Green hall outside austin don't tell people where it is your people show up What are you? What are you serving? You're serving like baked beans and so sausage links hot links We're gonna have the the the blue bell cherry vanilla as dessert. That is good We're gonna do some jalapeno poppers from a local restaurant. We're gonna do barbecue. We're gonna do brisket. We're gonna do sausage It's it's very small. I'll ask katie if there's room for a day. Yeah, sure you will Yeah, sure you will um

Starting point is 01:39:48 So what do you have and you have a blue bell ice cream? We're gonna have brisket. What's the main course? Do we have to get a main course barbecue? What's the cut? Oh nice? What's the cocktail hour? You got a little shrimp cocktail? We'll do some, you know, I'm sure we'll have wine and beer We're not gonna do liquor, but uh wine and you know probably shinor bach lone star texas beer For the people. Okay How many people are coming about 60? Wow. Yeah, pretty small kind of that's kind of big is it Who did you invite devin and ida? Uh, I mean we I told them that I would invite them

Starting point is 01:40:21 But I didn't want them to spend the money on a plane ticket because I knew they'd be you know Put out on the whole thing right the traveling you're the pudding. You have to fly people into the wedding That's if I got married to it. I have to pad it or fly people. I have to fly my family in Maybe they have to fly them into the wedding. I'll fly them into a To a fucking won't be a wedding I just want to get married so I could make a mess of it Like I would love to have a wedding just so I could relapse on drugs and drinking an hour before

Starting point is 01:40:53 And that's Kind of funny If you think about doing this is a bit now I know it would it would ruin your life maybe but it'd be a great bit to relapse an hour before And just be drunk and just be like screaming at your wife. Do you love me? Do you really love me? And then you look out at the people and you go fuck all these people they don't matter Do you love me?

Starting point is 01:41:16 Like that's what I want to do. I want to get real like sauced up before I get married someone And then I go, do you love me? Do you look at me? Look at me right now And I did the priest is going well, I don't know if I have a priest, right? I probably get a priest those pedophiles. They'll marry a couple of faggots I go, hey, will you shut the fuck up like the priest is like To have him to hold and go, hey, you shut the fuck up for a minute And I grabbed the person and go do you fucking love me? Um

Starting point is 01:41:53 That's that's what now is there going to be speeches or do you have the best man like how does it work? So we're doing it a little bit different because me and Katie are already officially married and we had to change some things around Right, so we're not doing like the actual boring church pews wedding. We're doing something totally different Okay, but but people can give speeches and we'll be dancing and stuff But we're not doing like the formal like at the altar. You may now kiss the bride type who's going to give a speech Uh, I'm my brother. We'll give a speech if he you know he comes and now

Starting point is 01:42:25 Who else will give a talk? Um, uh, Katie's uncle. I'm sure Katie's dad will as well and then I hope it's full queue Do you want to give a speech at the wedding? I mean, I don't know. I mean, I mean, do you have a budget? Wait, did you say you say you hope it's full? Yeah, full queue I hope it's like three senses about you and Katie and then he starts to go like Yeah, her father goes like listen, uh, you know, we all know Trump is still the president You know, the jew media can say whatever they want. I'll just stand up with the blue button eating bluebells smoking butts going You tell him tell him

Starting point is 01:42:59 He goes they can say whatever they want, but the reality is we're in a war We're in a war right now And i'm happy that you two are married because you're gonna need a good partner when you're fighting a war against satan I'm if this is not that wedding ben i'll leave. I want this wedding to be a straight up Christian like like hellscape. I want to be called a faggot and and I want them to say the only reason you're allowed here is because you bad canvas owns on the show

Starting point is 01:43:31 And uh, and if this is not that I will be so disappointed By the way, she's getting a late night television show on the daily wire. Probably be funnier than kimmel's so It'd be interesting. I'm not going to speak at the wedding because it's it's weird when someone who Is like a guy like me talks at a wedding like I Have you given a speech at a wedding? I've never given a speech at a wedding. I mean, it's not it's a real I would just get out. Do you want me to give the speech I'll give you the wedding? Sure. Go ahead Here's the speech. Let me give you the way. There's a wedding. Okay

Starting point is 01:44:03 Uh, thank thank you all for being here And celebrating the love of of bannon and catherine Katie katie katie Um, I met ben and katie a few years ago And I used them I lived in the small room of their house I showered there the water bill went up It was very tough. Um, ben wasn't working

Starting point is 01:44:28 And katie was working and no one really had any money and uh me and ben smoked cigarettes all night and Watch alex jones and Katie was very worried about the direction of where this was heading and I and I and I I understand that and I get it and I I I still believe that I have taken advantage of them To a degree that is Unconscionable every night I lay in my bed

Starting point is 01:44:53 And I say to myself You're a scumbag for what you did to this couple truly and the fact that they withstood my torment My selfishness Is shocking to me that they were able to weather the storm that was uh tim dillon I want to apologize to them publicly For everything I have done And continue to do um

Starting point is 01:45:20 I yelled at ben once when he was late And I'm sorry about that. It was uh very sad To do to raise my voice to him It was it was not right when he showed up at a when I had to take a uh a car Uh, he had to bring his car so I could take a road test and he said it was on e and that I shouldn't worry about it And to just tell the instructor of the road test that it's okay. We have 90 miles left Which is the most irresponsible thing you could do. I probably would have been failed right off the bat But that's okay. I and then I yelled at him and I said what I said to you that day

Starting point is 01:45:53 Um, then you're gonna like bash my skull. I said I was gonna bash his skull and I called him a drunk Which is ironic because he was two years sober But I was hitting the the thing in the car and I I scared him a little bit But that's what I do. I'm scary and mean I'm a scary pig who comes in and ruins everybody's life And the fact that they're even having this wedding right now After everything I've put these two through Is uh, amazing to me. So again, I just want everyone to raise their glass

Starting point is 01:46:27 Um To ben and katie who have made it through The disease the real pandemic which is tim dillon Um, I know every day and every moment they both wish I die And just hope that they're in my will So that they can spend my money while I die Which is the best case scenario for everybody So with that being said

Starting point is 01:46:53 I'm gonna go back To my bluebell ice cream while I sit here at this wedding alone And try to think of reasons not to kill myself On the dance floor, which we don't have because of covet or jesus or whoever Um, and I'm going to listen to the fiddle band With ben's brother as we both sit here lonely and have a seventh helping of barbecue and sit in the chairs and uh Basically stare at everyone else who has love in their life Thank you everyone. Please subscribe to our patreon

Starting point is 01:47:25 And uh, please get an nft of me killing myself Which ben will be shooting if he has the time I'm sure they'll take a nine month honeymoon after this and if I call them and ask them what's going on They'll be like who is it again? Oh, it's that terrorist. He wants me to do some work. So again I want to thank both of them. They're such interesting people both of them I love talking to them about the things that happened in their neighborhood Uh, or someone who might have gotten shot that day or a dog that was lost that they found um

Starting point is 01:48:03 That's Oh very illuminating to me The types of discussions that I've been privileged to have with both of them at tables about uh avocado toast And someone who may have been shot Or it might have been a firework So again Thank you everyone. I will be doing I'll have an autograph booth later if you want to come and take a photo with the pig And you can show it to all the people who live in sewer taxes or wherever the hell

Starting point is 01:48:35 You people come from god bless you. Good night. I mean, I would do something that was lovely No, I would really say I would really say um Wouldn't be great if I just sit up and I went, you know I made this event happen Truly I mean, I did it They fell in love, but

Starting point is 01:48:59 This is it's all mine. Everything you're eating take that brisket out of your mouth This is my words that have made this happen. Okay. This entire wedding was paid for by me So it's my wedding It's not their wedding It's my wedding Okay, I don't have anyone to marry but make no goddamn mistake about it It's as much my wedding as it's their wedding So I would like to recite the vows after they do because it's my day

Starting point is 01:49:35 You tell me when to get the fuck out. It's my day Okay I just bring up some twink that I just met some 20 year old twink. I go we're getting married right now But it'll be I'm excited for it I'm excited for it. I and I'm I you know, I wasn't gonna go to your last wedding because I don't we didn't even like each other at that point Remember your last wedding that I wasn't gonna go to I remember that I said I was on the road, but I don't think I was I think you actually were on the road I think I might have been on the road. Yeah, but I think we're having a rough patch. Yeah, we were going

Starting point is 01:50:08 We had a couple rough, uh, like three weeks What was it? Do you remember? um I can't remember the exact specifics of it I remember it was when we started doing the dark studio right around that time when I was building that out But you know, I don't stew like a lunatic so I can't remember the exact details I don't remember the details either, but I was like, hey, man. I can't be involved, but good luck Yeah, and then you didn't want me there. Anyway, you would all right probably didn't want me there. It's not true

Starting point is 01:50:38 That's true Um, I can't I imagine that I'm not wanted at this one either I did receive an invitation. Oh, which I think is nice. Yes, you did. I did. I did. That's sweet But my goal here's what my goal is Is to give them a present that is so nice that they both feel horrible Like my goal is to give them a present that is so nice that they both really feel bad and It it it asserts my dominance

Starting point is 01:51:11 over them the way An old billionaire from a steven king novel who has like the whole town in his grips You know, like, you know, they're like Mr. Chester has owned this town since the early days of you know Like I want to come in and just give you guys a present that's so over the top That I just want you both to know That

Starting point is 01:51:37 It's my day You know what I mean? It's not your day. It's my day I may tell everyone what I give you. I may get up and go Let me tell you what I gave. Let me what I gave these two schmucks these two people Here's what I gave them. I'm gonna give you a really nice present. You don't even know what it is I'm gonna give you a very nice present. Oh, really? Wow. No, I mean it's gonna be very

Starting point is 01:52:04 It's gonna be like nicer than I think it'll be the best present you got you fire me at the wedding. I'm gonna fire you from the show And I'm gonna bring li sayat. Where is li sayat? By the way, we keep doing like a running joke about li sayat. Is that mean or not? Is he doing okay? He has a he has a podcast and a patreon I don't want to keep doing this joke if he's like homeless or something. Go support li sayat guys Go support li I like but I don't know where he is So sometimes you do jokes about people and then you find out they're in a coma and you go I gotta stop

Starting point is 01:52:35 I gotta stop doing that. That's not nice to do He fell asleep on his live stream on his twitch That's hilarious. You should keep doing that Every podcast he should just fall asleep on a live stream I would watch that I don't want to watch anything and if li sayat goes I will fall asleep at some point during this live stream I'd absolutely watch it Come should do the same thing

Starting point is 01:53:00 But I'm excited about this wedding man. And what what what time is it? Is it like six hours? No, no, no, it's gonna be quick and painless. We don't want it to be a boring long wedding We want it in and out in and out Get the what if I find get some drinks get out. What if I get married the same day? And I hold a wedding that What if I married Jake Paul on the same day? In in miami and invite all of your friends. What which friend are you inviting other than travi? Uh debbie boobies coming

Starting point is 01:53:36 um Jake is coming who you you met jake. He lives in austin Is he the guy that we had on to talk about the dark web? Yeah, he's the dark web guy from old episodes. That's good. Um, I'm trying to think who else uh John key a friend of mine from abalone and that's about it a lot of people can't make it because of covet or That's all fake. Yeah, what are they talking about? They can't make us a covet A lot of people it's just not in their budget to travel all the way to texas and back and I totally get it I haven't gone to weddings for that for that reason too because you're out like a grand for like the tickets for you and your wife

Starting point is 01:54:06 And then the hotel and then I really have not been invited to a lot of weddings. It kind of saddens me I've got one wedding. I went to one of my friend Tina's sister's wedding. I didn't bring a present I the guy hates she married some tow truck guy And he hates me because I didn't bring a present. I just showed up. Did they say something? I just showed up. I think was it russos on the bay in brooklyn. I just showed up by dinner and left I smoked a few butts With the staff of russos in the back and I just got out of there By the way, I don't even know if I had to sit down dinner russos on the bay is a great cocktail hour

Starting point is 01:54:51 It's like the little lamb chops fresh tomato and nuts. I think I went to that for about two hours and then I left and I I've not been invited to a lot of weddings Oh, man I went to my friend joe's wedding the mortgage guy. I went to his wedding. I just have not gone to a lot of weddings Yeah, me neither haven't been invited never been a bachelor or a best man or anything. I've never been a best man Yeah, I've never been you you you'll you'll be you would be my best man if I got now Would you get that would you be a best man at a gay wedding? Absolutely? I would well

Starting point is 01:55:30 You don't know who I'm married you want me to finish? Yeah Would you be a best man at a wedding with me and richard spencer? I've never been a best man, dude. I've never been like part of the wet like I just went into comedy and every Everybody's a loser nobody gets married in this the roommates I had when I first started comedy got married in a basketball gymnasium in statin island It was like an embarrassment And it like the you know, they had like hero sandwiches this time. I mean it was an embarrassment You know, but I I you know

Starting point is 01:56:07 I've never been like the guy that people say Oh, this guy should be our best because I'm just not close with a lot of people. I just fell out with a lot of My friend Joe got married in New Orleans, but I was headlining a room. I can't do I was like I can't do it I worked years to get into headline and this was like a room that somebody canceled They threw me in last minute, which he understood I was also sober. I just want to go to a wedding in New Orleans. Everybody getting bombed totally Trigging absinthe Some people go to a ton of weddings

Starting point is 01:56:36 I didn't I've never been to like my family's wedding like my cousins or my cousins aren't getting married during a dope They're on heroin. Thank god Thank god, imagine how to go to their weddings. Thank christ. Thank god. They're on heroin. They found something they love It's not bothered. They don't bother anybody let them live I mean, yeah, no one in my family got married I'm the most successful cousin and I'm a gay ex cocaine addict Clown and I'm the most successful like old none of them to figure anything out really

Starting point is 01:57:09 I mean, some of them did say they bounce around some of them are okay. I guess but I'm excited for it. It's happening in april I mean, it's gonna be It's gonna be interesting to see like your family. I've never met your family They like know who I am. I guess my mom's a fan of the show. Yeah, they know who I am But I've never met any of them um

Starting point is 01:57:36 Should I bring should I bring is my plus one which I'm sure I don't even get but no, you do you do Should I bring uh, you know who christus afro just interviewed? The tranny t t who sucked off who sucked off son of sam in prison Yeah, just afro just did one of the greatest interviews in podcast any tt His his girl jasmine is like her aunt or uncle or whatever I don't know and she went to prison when she was like in prison with tupac and she sucked off son of sam

Starting point is 01:58:09 So can I bring? bring tt We'll talk about sucking off son of sam Ben's parents are so christian. I'll just I'll let her give a speech I go let me give some of my speech to tt and she's like listen I sucked off son of sam in prison All right, where's the blue bell ice cream everybody let's get out the blue bell I mean

Starting point is 01:58:41 I'm just happy to meet everybody finally Or no already those guys coming. You don't really talk to them that much. I didn't invite any of those guys Yeah, you don't talk to them that much time to move on time to tighten up the circle As beanie seagull said tighten up the circle before they hurt you beanie seagull Tighten up the circle before they hurt you You know devin and either come you got to pay them, huh? You got to pay them. You got to fly them down and put them up They'll be putting the food in a bag

Starting point is 01:59:10 They'll be putting a barbecue in a plastic bag and walking out with it They try they'll try to resell it. They'll try to sell it on etsy authentic texas barbecue Yeah, they'll sell it. They'll be reselling brisket They'll be on clubhouse figured out how to resell brisket No, I mean They should come down for though, they might be fun Yeah, I told them I was like, I don't want to subject you to having to come but you are invited What did they say? They're like, oh, no, we we get it like thank you for letting us not have to be feel like we have to come, you know

Starting point is 01:59:44 I mean, what's the last time devin's got on a plane or left echo park like at all? Yeah, they don't they don't leave no But yeah, I liked the way they said they go. Thank we appreciate you not making us feel obligated to show Exactly. Thank you You go. Thanks a lot. But could you send us food? But if there's any leftovers, can you send them in a mail? By the way, you send them in a mail if there's any leftovers There's

Starting point is 02:00:12 You DHL us some pulled pork If you don't mind They should come I may pay them to get them down there. Yeah, let's bring them down. I may fly them down and I'm fly down tt What's the what's the budge? Is it a big budget? What's the budge? Is it like 800,000? Yeah Yeah, it's it's it's the size of salvo cano's wedding I'm wondering what the budget is Maybe I should pay for the wedding Weddings by the way, I was probably gonna give you more money than the wedding

Starting point is 02:00:45 I offered to pay for the wedding. It's like $1,800. Like wait, excuse me Like yeah, it's a van a barbecue food in a field. I'm like, oh I had no idea What are you gonna wear? You wear like cowboy hat and shit. No, but maybe I should actually it's not a bad idea Is Katie gonna wear white? Yeah, she has a wedding dress picked out. Of course. I haven't seen it, but If I come in an outfit That distracts from both of you. Will you be angry? No

Starting point is 02:01:16 like if I come That's like one of the you know the the beginning of the Wizard of Oz all the people that walk around us. Yeah. Yeah Can I bounce my transition? You know, Amy Schumer announced her pregnancy at Another comics wedding to just take the shine right at our point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Took to shine right at somebody else. I want to announce something your wedding. I gotta want to go. I'm transitioning What if I pulled I showed everyone my pussy What if I got a pussy if I had my penis made into a pussy and I showed everyone

Starting point is 02:01:45 My pussy lips like a look at my pussy I have a pussy now and I want to show everyone my pussy My penis was inverted Have I described it? I stood up and I go. I love Ben and Katie and I feel so comfortable with everyone here. I want to Tell you my penis was split in half and inverted and made into a pussy Four days ago and I finally got the bandages off Now my my my shaft has been split and turned into two lips of a puss And I want to show everyone right now

Starting point is 02:02:19 I just show him with my pussy And people are like, oh my god Katie's father's like that's pretty That's a pretty pussy you got I'm like, thank you He's like that's a real pretty pussy I just want I just want to go and go on such a scene I'm going

Starting point is 02:02:47 I'm going with TT. I'm going okay. I'm going with the treaty who blew son of sam I'm telling you that just definitely just interviewed. I'm paying her $20,000 And thank you patreon for the ability to do that I'm going to pay TT to come to the wedding and tell the story about sucking off son of sam in front of your christian parents And if that if your wife doesn't like me then so be it If she doesn't see the humor in that Ben then so be it and I don't know why you would marry her It's crazy to me that she would not see the humor in that

Starting point is 02:03:26 Oh Run that by her tomorrow. Call her go. Okay. Tim is going to fly TT who was just The transgender woman christa stefano interview. She sucked off son of sam in prison And tim thinks it'd be great to have her talk about that at the wedding I mean, I don't is this a problem run it by her. I mean, I don't see the problem I Want TT to officiate my wedding. What's her name? Look her up. Even though you can't play it get this woman's name

Starting point is 02:04:00 She's like a gangster. It's ti ti. I don't know just it's just definitely the latest episode I forget Amar 16 killed princess Diana at all My Door is lying. He's nobody rice is in a royal family The continent of india needed to be civilized. Oh TT gerry TT gerry. Yeah, she's come to the wedding Oh TT gerry's come to the wedding TT gerry, there's not much it there's like nothing about her except for chris's episode with her

Starting point is 02:04:41 Yeah, well, yeah, she doesn't have a lot going on but that's okay. We're about to change that She's about to go to your wedding and make a big splash What if she sucked off katie's dad She's like I sucked off that man and I also sucked on son of Sam Chris was like, did you meet any celebrities in prison? She goes, yeah, I sucked off son of sam crazy Is it crazy or is it beautiful? And

Starting point is 02:05:13 Dessert is what is it blue bell ice cream and cobbler the cherry vanilla. Yeah, we're gonna do cobbler. Yeah, what kind of cobbler peach? I do a franklin barbecue We're about to franklin's I'm gonna have to check with katie. I forget the two places we were between Yeah, it's very interesting not not a salt, uh, whatever that was. Do you know you want to hear my wedding? Yeah, yeah It's on little st. James. Okay. That's number one. So it's an international water Okay, okay Do you know who is the cleric? the cleric is a is the guy from

Starting point is 02:05:50 He's that guy that we watch remember we used to watch an islamic fundamentalist in brooklyn who's like had a lot of personality I forget he was like he goes. I like being on first class He just talks about death to america, but he goes he goes. I like traveling first class. I think it's good He's did some like real crazy mosque in brooklyn where he goes I I like I like nice things the crowds are gonna get with it. He goes. I like flying first class I don't know about you They're just waiting to hear what they should blow up. He goes. I don't know about you, but I like I like getting on a plane The first class

Starting point is 02:06:22 So he's gonna be the cleric Um My best man is going to be titi jerry Best woman flower girl, okay um I don't know man. It's so interesting to watch. You're the closest friend I've ever had that's like gotten married Where like I'm actually

Starting point is 02:06:55 I felt bad. I didn't get a gift for that other wedding, but I didn't give a shit about them You know what I just showed up for a dinner. Yeah, what do I do for free dinner? A guy who's a tow truck business. Did you say hi to them at least and congrats? I don't think I did I think I did once I think I did once I think I said gay congrats And then I just kept walking put rolls Yeah, I was just walking around eating lamb chops And then I left

Starting point is 02:07:26 I left like two hours in people texting me like where'd you go? I said, oh, I was so it's over I didn't go to the church Salvatore's wedding we didn't I didn't show up for the church the church and showed him for the food. Yeah Yeah, that's the most recent I went to Mike Lawrence's wedding. He was a comedian that was done in like a backyard though. His mom cooked but the food is very good um Um

Starting point is 02:07:59 But yeah, this will be kind of an amazing like thing you know You're like the version like I don't have a brother So you're like a brother who's like watching a brother get married that you like a lot of people hate their siblings So I didn't realize that I just wanted like siblings and I realized most people just hate their siblings. Yeah, absolutely It's hilarious. I had no idea Every siblings I've ever met. I'm like you talk to your brother a lot. They got out really I'm like interesting

Starting point is 02:08:24 You know Let's think about just Lane Maxwell's family. It's like they were close. Maybe there's something to that You know what I mean That's the thing. It's like people talk a lot of shit like Oh You know Whatever Dylan and Ronan Farrow seem to be close. It's true. It's true Right

Starting point is 02:08:48 I don't know I Want to see tt gerry on rogan you suck off son of Sam. I'm up. I get crazy about I sucked us down as damn She sucked off like a murderer Like a like a satanic serial killer And she's talking about it at your work. This is tt gerry She's sucked off son of Sam. I'll tell people that on the buffet line too. I got tt's my day

Starting point is 02:09:19 She sucked off son of Sam in prison

The Tim Dillon Show - 243 - Best Of Patreon Vol. 2

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