The Tim Dillon Show - 256 - The Announcement

Episode Date: June 13, 2021

Tim makes a huge announcement, implicates Ben's wife and berates him, talks big momma's in the city, and interviews writer Bari Weiss. Follow Bari: https://twitter.com/bariweiss https://bariweiss.substack.com/ Listen to her new podcast: https://www.honestlypod.com/ Follow the great Lee Syatt: https://twitter.com/leesyatt https://www.patreon.com/leesyatt   Merch store is live: https://fakebiz.net Bonus Episodes every week: ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow See Tim Live on the road: ▶▶ http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: 🩳 UNDERWEAR: Order with PROMO CODE Tim ▶▶ https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ 🔒 VPN: Get three months free ▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon 🥣 CEREAL: Use code TimDillon for free shipping! ▶▶ https://magicspoon.com/timdillon 🔵 BLUE CHEW : Use promo TD ▶▶ https://bluechew.com/ 🤖 MANSCAPED: Use code TIMD ▶▶ https://www.manscaped.com/ 👨‍🦱 HAIR LOSS: ▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon 📦 SHIPPING: Enter code TIMDILLON ▶▶ https://www.shipstation.com/ 🎧 HEADPHONES: For 15% off! ▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim 🤳 COLOGNE AND SKINCARE: Use code TIM ▶▶ https://hawthorne.co/ 🛏️ BEDS: ▶▶ https://helixsleep.com/timdillon 🚗 INSURANCE: ▶▶ https://gabi.com/timdillon 🚬 QUIT SMOKING: Use code TIM: ▶▶ https://lucy.co ⚓ NICK DAVIS'S PODCAST (ANOTHER PODCAST SHOW) ▶▶ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtvB1iiShWreiKusHjzXI0w?sub_confirmation=1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/another-podcast-show/id1566793182 💆THERAPY ▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMD 📦 BOX OF AWESOME ▶▶ http://boxofawesome.com use code TIMDILLON at checkout for 20% off 💊 MASF SUPPLEMENTS ▶▶ https://masfsupplements.com/ use code TIMD for 10% OFF 🧴 DUKE CANNON DEODERANT ▶▶ https://dukecannon.com/ use code DILLON for 10% off 💍 NORTHBANDS RINGS ▶▶ https://www.northbands.com/ use promo code TIM for 20% off BITCOIN CONFERENCE ▶▶ https://b.tc/conference use code TIMDILLON for 10% off CERTIFIED PIEDMONTESE BEEF ▶▶ 25% OFF with discount code TIMDILLON at https://www.cpbeef.com HELLO FRESH ▶▶ Go to https://www.hellofresh.com/timdillon12 for 12 free meals including free shipping! GET ACRE GOLD and start investing in physical Gold today! ▶▶ https://www.GetAcreGold.com/TimDillon ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬   𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ 🐦 Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon 🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows 📹 Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC161r7ShBvMxfyzCtiSMRbg Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds   ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬   ▶▶ Ed McMahon [e-mail] https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood   ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ #TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show a little squeeze here starting a little late because someone was late Someone was a little late Do you have any defense for your tardiness the traffic was heavy. I tried to be on time the traffic It's always something the traffic. We said we're gonna record at three and then I moved it around I was doing a thing with my wife. I Was that a thing, you know? I mean I had to run from it and

You had to run from the thing you were doing Yeah, we did your job. There was a friend in Austin who was in town and we had to run from the friend to your job Well, you said we were gonna record at four then you moved it to three so so I moved it your job was moved and You had to leave. Why don't you go back to the friend? I Think you should go back to your friend Go back call your friend and say Go back to your friend. Let's just do the show. Let's you go back to your friend I think it's better for you to go back to your friend

Seriously, I'm dead sir. Please go back to your friend. I who's gonna produce the show. I'll figure it out I'll figure it out It's insane Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show a beautiful day in Austin, Texas a mass shooting downtown And in true Austin fashion, no one was killed 13 people injured No one was killed this city cannot even do that right amazing

Have you learned your lesson Okay, moving on big announcement to be made on the show And I don't usually say that because we don't usually have big announcements. We have them rarely And this announcement I believe will be shocking it will be stunning and I'm not a shocked value comedian That's not what we do But this will be genuinely Paradigm shifting it will it will move people genuinely, I believe and

Because it is so unexpected There's no there's do is never a hint You you know a lot of the things that happen here. There's some foreshadowing elements, but not this This is out of the blue as they say it's coming out of the blue. It is completely utterly without any preconceived

This this is just happening organically It's just it's really it's shaken Me to my core The announcement I'm about to make because I'm I I

Understand how big of a deal it's gonna be to people and how much it's gonna throw them throw them off and I and I want to do it with care and I want to prepare them And I want to take the utmost care and caution With an announcement of this gravity because this is it uses there's gravity. This is real It's hard to even say it's hard to vocalize it's hard to get out of my mouth. It's hard to Ben Why are you laughing? I don't know why are you laughing? What's funny about this? Five months ago Ben's wife

Told us she was having an affair with Joe Rogan It was uncomfortable we respect and love Joe he's incredibly generous Nobody has done more for comics than Joe no one but Even even that being the case it was still tough to hear that Ben's Fiancé his wife Was having sex

With Joe who had been so good to both of us. It put us in a very difficult position His wife then informed us that she was going to keep the affair going And in order to do that we needed to move to Austin, Texas So she could continue to have sex with Joe Ben being a good husband Dutifully agreed and he came to me and he said Katie wants to keep having sex with Joe Rogan Do you think we should move to Austin to make it easier for her so that she doesn't have to keep flying?

And I agreed I said yes So Ben's wife Has been carrying on an affair With Joe even the morning of their nuptials They got married, but in in the morning of that day She was having sexual Congress with Joe Rogan and And she told Ben that at the wedding

In front of a few of us. She had had a few drinks. She said I just want you to know I fucked Joe this morning Now Something happened there was a disagreement I Don't know what happened We're not privy to that information and I don't want to speculate But Ben's wife has ceased her affair with Joe. She has stopped She is no longer having an affair with Joe. She's back to sleeping with Ben Now it is awkward

Living in Austin, Texas so the announcement is as follows Because of Ben's wife and only Ben's wife It is time to leave Austin, Texas the Tim Dillon show will be leaving Austin, Texas In all seriousness because what I was just saying was a joke I hope For your sake It is a joke right I think so yeah In all seriousness we came down here Because the quarantine had warped everybody's minds. I

Had moved from LA to Palm Springs. I spent a lot of time in the desert alone in a hundred and twenty degree weather and And then I went on the road a lot too and I did a lot of stand-up did comedy during the craziest Period in the history of this country maybe to do comedy during a pandemic with the most Contentious presidential election. I did comedy the night Donald Trump was put into the hospital with COVID I mean this was fucking wild those shows were wild doing them and we did them We did them to go out and to make money to see fans to do it as carefully as we could to keep ourselves mentally healthy and keep people

mentally healthy and Keep people working that worked at comedy clubs and we did them distance and we did them outdoors and we did them and and then Joe we love and respect said I'm moving to Texas and it it Came at a time when LA was particularly bleak and nothing was open and I'd never loved Austin. I had gone here and I've done South by Southwest. I've done the moon tower comedy festival But Austin to me always felt like Brooklyn. It was fun, but it was yeah a lot of hipsters and the food was good A little one-note barbecue. We get it great Mexican food as well But it was a college town. It was a small

City, this was not a World-class city. It just was not and I hadn't been here for a while and I I didn't know and and I moved here because I Felt like I needed something new and that something new would be good and yes that taxes are better and yes There are Benefits to not being in LA and yes LA as a host of problems But I moved here because first and foremost I said something new will be good

I Was wrong. I was wrong The city of Austin, Texas is a city In the realm of the of the artistic or whatever for people who have Left New York or LA or never had the guts to go to New York or LA It's for people who's they've never figured out a way to make their art or whatever commercially viable and they should have a city Those people should have a place to get drunk at 2 a.m. To get high to eat brisket

They should have it. It's their culture. Do not force them to be productive members of society It shouldn't happen That's the culture of Austin of the slacker the near-do-well always has been always will be a few Exceptions Mike judge Richard link letter, but the vast majority of Austin quite proudly is a Culture of not making it not doing it for whatever reason So when Joe wants to create a comedy hub here God bless him, but he's fighting against a current and Cultures matter and this culture has been around for a very long time

And I have no interest in colonizing a city and making people Making it into a great comedy city. I don't care The tech people are moving here. They'll have 3d printed brisket They'll they'll have you know the house values that go up. I bought a home here I'll rent it or I'll keep it and I'm not worried about that. I think it's a great real estate move I'm speaking solely about comedy and me and this show. It is not the move Austin has many of the problems of Los Angeles a Lot of the homeless people. There was a mass shooting last night

13 people got injured not shot not killed of course not even the mass Shooters in Austin can't get it done And the cops didn't even find the guy He's running around here on the loose. He's on the loose We got a mass shooter on the loose it could be any one of our friends We should call the tip line and just read off my Instagram the people I'm following But we love Joe we respect him when Joe has a club I'll come back here and work at that club and be excited to do so

But I I just could not get in a groove with this city. I tried not really But I gave it some effort. I gave it a you know, I Been I've been downtown four or five times That's enough. It's enough the first time I went down there homeless people were throwing bottles at us as we walked out of the creek in the cave People are being killed at night. The homeless are just going up and murdering Comedians and I don't even know am I against that? I I'm put in this weird position

of Having to care about a city that I've never cared about and I I can in good conscience Do that. I only want to be funny. I only want to really Effect people with what we do. I don't give a fuck about Austin. I love Texas I love the areas around Austin are beautiful. I like Dallas and Houston and Fort Worth and the audiences are great But I don't care what happens to the comedy community of Austin, Texas I don't care. It has been forever a Community of sloth like people truly slugs

slugs and They should have it. It should be for them Joe Rogan could walk around here and ask people be like, hey, why don't you write more? Shouldn't you work out? It's not gonna work cuz they're losers To the bone these people are losers to the fucking bone the stench of human failure in this city Is so that you cannot breathe you cannot inhale oxygen because the stench of human failure in fact all of the air

It is a grotesquery here. They do not know how to run a city. The food is shit There's two places that make good barbecue and they're not Terry Blacks It's Franklin and the barbecue and it's nine hours line to a blue haired tattooed lesbian can give you an attitude When you say can I add a sandwich to that People come here to get married like this fool Cuz it's cheap and you can get married and some raft You could float down a dirty river and get down syndrome drunk and take photos to put on your Facebook

He did have a beautiful wedding, but the point is this my point still stands This is the bachelorette capital of the South. It's drunk pig women and Men that have a itchy trigger finger just trying to shoot people Dancing around six-street drunk These people are out of their fucking minds It's a fucking rodeo of fat bitches and school shooters Everybody eating at the trough it has nothing to do with music can we say that now? Can you hear it loud and clear?

This town has nothing to do with music There are heroin addicts that occasionally Do melodious things on the street while they're after they take a shit in the street? They play I don't know You are my sunshine or something you mile you make me happy When skies are gray It's nothing it's less than nothing here There is no seafood. There is no fish. There is one sushi restaurant that Joe Rogan mentioned and now you can't get in till

2027 Sandra Bullock and Matthew McConaughey. I don't give a fuck. I don't care Then a couple of white demon celebrities live here show you white mouth What's funny about that is that I've been very critical of the critical race theory and yet I find in times It is important to have in the pocket This is what it is I Tried I played pickleball with a few psychopaths. We met a few tech people We met a few people who when you looked in their eyes you realized that

Trouble was a ruin We met some of the masters of the universe not the bankers some of the you know Silicon Valley cultists who are colonizing the area Who are here because of no state income tax and their love of baked beans Some of the libertarian wing of the tech movement Some lovely people may be not too bad. Don't hate any of them. I like being Afraid for my life During the afternoon I like that I

Don't I don't think facial expressions are necessary. I like people They keep you on your toes But it's time to go And I don't want to discourage anyone else from moving here It may be your destiny to come here many of you will be happier Floating down a which by the way, I tried to go to the swimming hole

You have to make a reservation for the swimming hole You can't even jump in the fucking lake Without a reservation or the creek or the creek whatever you call it. I've had about enough. I've had about enough I Can't work on Caitlyn Jenner's campaign long distance. I have to be there I Gave it four months and I'm not going anywhere immediately the summer on touring and then in the fall I start to look and we who knows where we end up next. Maybe we end up in Dorado, Puerto Rico with the Pauls and Peter Schiff Here's to hoping But it's time to go

There was a mass shooting last night 13 people were injured outside the Vulcan gas company on the venue of the moment It's time to go I love Joe Joe's been more generous to comics. He's done so much for us. We don't deserve it He deserves happiness go and be happy and if he opens a club I will come down here and work it and be thrilled to do so but right now it is time to go This has been a fun experiment The quarantine has been very interesting. I've made and lost friends. I've made bad decisions I've made good decisions. We've all done wild things We've put ourselves into situations. We never thought we'd be in and we've taken ourselves out of situations

We never thought we would get out of our minds melted. We You know kind of went through the looking glass It was an acid trip without having to take the acid and it was not a good one. It was a bad one It was good for us. It was good for certain people you know But the reality is that is over now and for some people it'll never be over. They'll keep the masks on whatever let them let him Do it fine It's fine

But it is now time to leave and and you know, it's gonna be a little tougher Ben Ben will fly and do show every week and and You'll have to really kind of talk to your wife Because it's gonna be difficult But we've suggested gaslighting her into making her believe she made us move here. We're yeah, that's an F. That's an option You haven't told her yet. No, I will before we put this out You have not told her I've not told her anything. I'm not yet. I

Told you you're renting your house out that you bought but that's it Did she ask why? She just I just said that you were gonna make like money on the income from the thing and be cash positive Did she say where would he live? I said he was just thinking about extending his rental here. So you lied. Yeah, so you made it You made something up so far. We're lying. We're in the lying stage What does she want to do go downtown and get a bottle thrown at her head Is That what she wants to do

Does she want to go play the accordion downtown and get raped with a bottle a glass bottle to her neck? Well, it's chaos down there. It's utter hell and chaos. It's chaos down there. Okay. It's a horror L.A.'s big enough. Austin's not a big Austin's like seven square blocks and two of them are hell two of them a Fallujah It's crazy. So what you said to do what? You can eat it Fucking you know miss Vicki's brisket house. Who gives a fuck? Can we get the fuck out of here, please? Can we get the fuck what the fuck were we thinking? Can we get the fuck out of here, please?

Do I want pickles and onions with it? No, give me a ticket. I'm leaving. I'm leaving Get the tattoo off your neck white demon I've had enough of a white homeless kids I'm out We're out of here burn it to the ground Sorry The truth hurts as Lizzo has said

There's parts of it that are nice there's parts of it that are beautiful not the city The outskirts and those will be the parts that get nice. It's a Marin County thing here They let San Francisco go to shit and the surrounding area went skyrocketing. That's what's gonna happen here That's what I believe but I believe comedically artistically for me for you for this show for the future of what we have to do This city has tested me It really has I I Don't get it. I don't get the charm here. I don't get what everybody else gets I Don't get what's fun about five fat drunk bitches from Nashville on six street drunk and falling down

Shoving and they're getting in a tub of macaroni and cheese. I don't get it Look at the band you want to hear the band Not good We've covered it all we did the tech shit we had lunch with a few people We did a few shows. They were decent. They were fine. It's time to get out I don't even want to do moon tower shit and ask me to do I don't want to do any of it South by I want to out of this town for a long time for a goddamn long time here. I went out of this town And I may rent the house may just keep it. It's fine. It's a beautiful little thing to have. It's not that expensive

It's not I didn't go nuts and buy a crazy thing. So It's all gonna work out But I mean we do have to tell we have to tell your wife and then I'll have to give you guys a bunch of money Which I have no problem doing but You know, it's it's unfortunate Well, what do you feel about that be very honest here because you got excited to come back to Texas And it started worrying me because you and your wife started going to see fiddle players And you're like, oh you should come see the fiddle player with us

And I got very nervous because they said this is everything you left to not be somebody some fucking Some guy sitting in a field listening to a fiddle player. I Don't like the golf courses here. I don't like the food. Well, that's nice. Yeah, you don't like the golf here Not at all. What is the problem with it? I don't like link style courses, right? I like I like a Nicholas designed course in LA somewhere. Shut up. You don't know cares, but that's it's important It's important that there are things you also don't like the food's trash. It's not good. It's trash The people the people it's like if every witch from a Disney movie got fat

It's like what happens to Maleficent if she starts a podcast and eats 14 sandwiches a day and Dies her hair blue. She lives in Austin Thought people should at least be talented and light on their feet Jackie Gleason Yords truly not these lumbering soulless fucking vessels Just barking at people That's ableist wrong They got to go

And I wish everyone the best here I do I do I wish everyone the bad I cannot stress that enough because as a somebody who's invested in Austin real estate It is a great place to live and that's what people forget is that it is a great City, it's a great American city and I have a lot of hope for the future of Austin And I I love it here and to leave kills me Because the food is great as we've talked about and the people are great and I Like it. You know what I mean? It's not that bad. Yeah, no not at all So if you're thinking of coming here and renting or buying, it's the place

It's the move because what I like about it is you have a good balance of nature And then also a thriving vibrant metropolis When you go to Austin, there's always something to do Get followed by a homeless guy on the way to go get a taco from a Dodge Durango That's parked because everybody eats food here out of a truck You could do that. You could catch a stray bullet on 6th Street While walking back to your Uber that doesn't show up and if it does we'll kidnap you There's a lot of benefits to this city

Okay So I don't want to scare anyone away From it. I have to be but this is a big announcement. It's a big announcement. It's a big deal The fact you're moving to Dorado With Peter Schiff and the polls No, we're not we're not going to Dorado We're going and we're staying the next place we go which is it's California. We're staying we're going to Los Angeles We're staying we're gonna stick it out. It is what it is

I mean at the end of the day, we really tried here I tried people said it was gonna last four months and it lasted about four months and then I'm not leaving immediately I'm on tour. I'm on the road and I've got things to do. Okay IRS I'm here this year. I'm here this year But next year, you know and in the fall, you know, it's like it's tough And I know that you and your wife are happy here because the dogs have a yard They're gonna have a yard in Los Angeles. The dogs are disgusting. I Mean one of them is three legs. None of it matters

So it's all good. I I know it's gonna be a tough discussion to have are you nervous about it? No, no Katie's a rider die. I understand that. Yeah. Yeah, and she was riding Joe Is there what we need to gaslight her into thinking that she made us move here because she has a crush on Joe But we need we need to leave. There's there's nothing else to be said about it. Mm-hmm I'm not performing at your bachelorette party No, I'm not doing that. No, I don't care about your wedding Ugh, it's a college town

Like without that many college kids. Yeah You know, I mean, I just I just have to go Sorry Apologize, you know At the end of the day, I wish nothing but the best for the people that live here I hope that it's only a flesh wound It's what I'll say But it's not for me. I must go now. I must go back

To an underprivileged area Called Beverly Hills Where people are real and they struggle you understand where people have real jobs Like I'm a sex slave slash assassin slash PA on blackish Real jobs real people real America I'm not excited to go back to California. There's a whole host of issues there, which Caitlyn general will hopefully cure But it's time to go. It's time to leave Austin, Texas the faces of the people The faces of the people the insects that crawl

God bless people trying to make this into some God, I mean picture Picture someone, you know, who's been a disaster their entire life drunk drug addict in and out of rehab thief Just the worst person Maybe not horrible soul But just steps on rakes their entire life can't seem to get it going and Then imagine the most the winner the most productive person, you know

The most productive human being you've ever met wins every game Gets the hot check gets the money is a nice person genuinely deserves it is generous That person that you know the winner the alpha the winner Now is bringing the fat drug addict thief out and going This is the goal This is the goal this and you're going but that they're a fat drug addict thief or I'm pretty sure like Looks up things on the dark web and the winner goes no no no no no no no

They're good There it's a much better. They're a much better quality of person and you go. I don't think so and The person is screaming as the winner goes no no this person is good the person screaming. No, I'm a fat mess. I like it I don't like good. I hate good. I never want to be good Food falls down on the floor, so it's pissing themselves heroin Shooting heroin their fat arm like And then the winner is like That's pretty cool, and you go what?

Good. No, that's pretty cool. That's a pretty cool We wish everyone the best We wish everyone the best here, and I'm I'm just hoping That it's been it's been it's made me realize a lot of things living here and Culture really matters the culture of a city matters. Miami's a party never turn Miami in anything. That's not a party How dare you New Orleans is also a fun party. Why ever turn that in New York is a hectic New York is a hectic Race to nothing may leave it be that let it be this hectic frenetic pace to eventual, you know death, but

They like that. It's necessary. It sharpens people. It molds them into something ten of them the rest of them who cares but La is a den of sociopaths narcissists People that it's fake on a level. It's so fake. It's real You're just talking to human volcanoes as they stuff avocado toast down there Genetically engineered throats into their plastic bodies, and then they go vomit it up It's important Just like New York is important just like Miami is important just like Austin being the den of failures is important being a place for losers a

Place for those fat bachelorettes to feel like they're going to the big city Big mama's in the city now She's got her brisket, and she's gonna take a shot of so-called lime And then they're gonna play her song which is up by Cardi B And she's just gonna be And her brain her useless brain is just gonna bounce around in her head and she's gonna go And just this mass of flesh this total waste of resources Just gyrating like a pig in the middle of the street while all her friends look at her

I can't believe she's getting married this thing is getting married She's gonna gyrate in the street because this is her three days to get really fucked up before she has to go back to checking Elderly people in for the hysterectomies, and she's just like And then some mass shooter is gonna come out and he's gonna see this person going And this mass shooter is gonna look at her and go you know This mass shooter is gonna say I'm sorry Joe Rogan I'm sorry comedy I've got a bit too and

He's gonna fire wildly into the crowd Like a monster like a monster not good not condoning this and he's gonna hit this fatty And it will barely stop her she'll just she'll feel it and she'll still She'll get a little up, and it's up, and it's up, and then her friends left to go you've been shot And then they put her on the gurney And then they bring it to the hospital and then they extract this piece of metal out of her fucking pulled pork Filled flesh they extract this bullet from her and she's like And then her fiance calls her good. I love you. Are you okay?

And Then she's got a story for the rest of her life She's got a story for the rest of her life, and then she goes on a little bit of workman's comp little disability can't go back to work and And and and then she goes back in a few years to that place in Austin She goes back there to see where a guy shot her in the leg while she was gyrating to a Cardi B's up Which they won't play anymore. She's will be years later She'll have two fat jalapeno poppers size children and her husband who tries to drink himself into a grave every night And sometimes damn near succeeds and they'll get out of whatever uber or which vehicle Austin permits at that time

And they'll get out and she'll go that's where mommy got shot and they'll take a photo where she got shot They'll take a photo where that bullet ripped through her fucking flash and she'll make it her profile picture And she'll have some quote she'll have some quote about that how life is about Appreciating the little things and she won't be a her quote because she's fucking retarded So she'll take it off some lifetime movie of the week or some magnet She saw at a friend's home where she was getting juiced before her kids got home from school And she'll put that quote up and there'll be a photo of where mommy got shot on 6th Street And that is all this fucking city will ever be burn

Barry wise ladies and gentlemen Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim Dillon Show exclusive people were angry with me last week for my one-sided segment on Israel and Palestine with of course journalist Abby Martin Who took a decidedly anti-Israel view as is her right? And so we wanted to find somebody who would come on and present the other side And we have Barry Weiss who has a among other things a very good sense of humor and She is here with us to present I Would imagine probably quite a different view from what Abby has presented

We're here from the Bitcoin conference in Miami Barry. By the way, thank you for coming on and having a good sense of humor We do give you a hard time every now and then but we do appreciate that you're willing to come on the show We we think that's a good thing Well, the Mossad gave me a special dispensation to be here. They're they're big fans big big fans. Yeah I'm sure they are so my my first question for you will be what are we what are we getting wrong, right? Like the the narrative that is That that is coming out that most people are seeing is that you have two groups That are not matched in any real way not in military

Might not in economic power Not in any type of power you have Israel, which is it which is a strong military And you have Palestine which is I believe two million or so people living in a in a small area that don't really have the military capable of Having what seems to be doesn't look like a fair fight, right? It seems like you have one side now all these words are being thrown out like apartheid And genocide and things like that What is mainstream narratives getting wrong because it does seem this last conflict the mainstream narrative seems to have

Switched a little bit where people are now seemingly more sympathetic to what's going on in Palestine and the way I've always looked at it seems like a very untenable unsustainable situation, right? It seems like that I'm sure that the pro-Israel people recognize that people that don't agree with things Israel has done recognize that But what are people getting wrong about this when we see? You know the the the bombing of Palestine when we see The children being harmed and we see that Palestinians are unable to access medical supplies or clean water and things like that. What about that? Are we not kind of?

What are we missing? So I think two things one is history and the second is really the aperture of the lens that you're using to look at the conflict with So let's start with the second thing, which is If you're looking at the Israeli-Palestinian conflict like this You're going to see exactly to some extent and what you just described You're going to see Israel as the Goliath that has the military power, etc And you're going to see Palestinians as having the the less strong hand But if you widen out and zoom out with your lens what you were going to see is an entire region

filled with something like 22 Arab and Muslim nations and a Jewish state the only Jewish state in the world That is smaller than than New Jersey That state surrounded on all sides The Abraham Accords aside and we can get into that by people that don't seek its Borders to be shifted, but that fundamentally seek its destruction I think the thing that people fundamentally get wrong is that they think that this is a conflict Fundamentally about borders. It is not a conflict about borders

It is a conflict about whether or not Israel has a right to exist It is a conflict about Zionism and anti-Zionism It's a conflict about whether Jews like every other people has a right to self-determination In this case in their native land or whether or not they don't That is what the conflict is about whether or not Jews can have any presence in the region of the Middle East at all That's what this conflict is about and so to go back kind of to you know To go back I watched the Abbey Martin clip and of course I you know defend her sacred right to say that 9-11 was an inside job and everything else that she says but

Well, there's a lot about 9-11. We don't know whether it's an inside job or not I mean, it's not there's a lot we don't know we covered for Saudi Arabia for years We were then we said we released a 9-11 Commission report the people on the 9-11 Commission report said it was set up to fail I mean these are direct quotes, so I mean, it's not I understand it No one's saying Jews did 9-11 or whatever. I know some people are Some people are but there's a lot. We don't know there's a lot. We weren't dealt with honestly about 9-11 We went and attacked Iraq, you know, so okay. Well, okay. That was a throwaway line I understand what you mean that like yeah

What I meant to say is that you know, everyone has the right to their own positions But I'm not gonna sit here and listen while people spew lies and and there's a giant lie That's being told right now about Israel and it has incredible power right now Especially on the far left and that lie goes like this the Jews are white people They are ethno-colonialist nationalists who dropped into a foreign exotic land with which they have no connection and Since 1948 when they plopped into this land, they have systematically taken that land from the indigenous brown population of Palestinians and Indeed more than that. They're blood thirsty

They're war mongers and they won't stop until they've you know Immiserated the people around them and the problem with this is that absolutely none of it is true It is a fantasy projection Created by people with small brains who have an attention span the length of a tiktok video You know, the Jews aren't let's start with the Jews aren't white the Jews are from the Middle East The Jews go back to the Middle East for 3,000 years. That is the reality The Jewish people precedes the modern conceptions that we have of race and of religion. Okay, they were a tribe They were the

Judeans they were the Judaites living in Judea and the Jewish presence in what we now call the land of Israel or the Palestine That goes back all the way back to to that period way before Jesus was ever around The Jews themselves were colonized speaking of colonization. They were colonized by the Romans they were colonized by the Byzantines they were colonized by the Crusaders by the Ottomans and finally by the British and You know just to give people a little bit of historical perspective. What is Palestine? What is that name? The Romans renamed the region Syria, Palestine After the Philistines to kind of give a middle finger to the Jews that they had pushed out as a way of punishing the Jews because the Philistines were their mortal enemy, so it's like

You know when Israel sort of miraculously and I think this is what makes it such a hard story for people to understand Most indigenous populations are screwed over They never get a chance to return to their land, but Israel got that chance after the Holocaust in 1948 1947 1948 and basically the un comes to the Jewish people and says We are and and the Arabs living in the region and says here is the partition plan Essentially the Jews get half the Muslims get half and not the Muslims the Jews get half the Arabs get half And the Jews said great and their motivation for saying great was they weren't going to get anything else And in totally real politic terms it makes sense that the Palestinians said no

But then they said no again After every single offer to split the land And and I think that that is really what it's about in the end Do Jews have any right to have any self determination in any piece of their indigenous land or not? And by the way, it's not it's not to say that You know given that like little history that I just swept you through the crusades and everything else Like is there a long-standing Palestinian connection to the land and muslim connection to the land? Of course there is right. Is there a long-standing christian connection?

Of course there is right the questions only Do we also acknowledge that the jews have a connection to that land or not and that to me is what everything is about Is there room for an argument or a debate where people say we completely understand israel's right to exist We support israel's right to exist but the expansive nature of a lot of the policies and maybe netanyahu himself as being somebody who is uh, you know has certainly uh put more of a right wing face on

uh policies and the bulldozing of the settlements And evicting people from their homes. Is there a space for people to argue like listen, we think israel should exist But you know as a as an expat because when you say colonial power I think part of what gives that argument credence in people's minds Is that the borders of israel don't seem to be fixed they constantly seem to keep expanding and israel keeps evicting people from their homes and There there there is that that is what most people regard as a colonial You know posturing from israel. It's not like okay here are the borders and we're done

And i'm sure it's you know, there's some complexities there But that's why p like you said people are saying israel is a colonial state But it seems like they're that they're not finished like the borders aren't You know rock solid that they're expanding and taking More and more territory and some people fear that they're take they want all the territory Right. So is there a space to criticize bb netanyahu? 100% i'll do it right now I did it often in the pages of the new york times

Is there a place to oppose settlements and settlement expansion in the west bank? Of course, I oppose them I do that all the time What what this is about again is fundamental existence and let let me just give you an example of that In 2005 israel pulled out every single jew Every single israeli that lived in the gaza strip every single one left all of the infrastructure the hot houses behind etc What happens then? It's not that there is a flourishing, you know, singapore In the gaza strip could have been possible tons of money float into gaza instead. What there is is a

piece of land In proximate and rocket proximity to the center of israel run by a group That says in its charter that their goal is not to states that their goal is to exterminate every single jew This is from their charter There's no solution to the palestinian question except through jihad The day of judgment will not come about until the muslims fight jews and kill them Then the jews will hide behind the rocks and trees and the rocks and trees will cry out. Oh muslim There's a jew hiding behind me come and kill them. That's not just in the founding

It's also in these videos that i pulled for you that i don't think many people see So maybe we want to play the one about with the hamas senior official talking about We'll do that now and we'll we'll add that in post great He's Great and then and then there's a second video where the mother of A palestinian martyr as they would call him talks about the jews and says may their hearts be ripped out May their eyes be gouged out What

So that is what happened when israel pulled out of the gaza strip Now you have the situation where israel is occupying the west bank and it's a horrible situation and i oppose it The problem is is that just from a purely like Existential perspective Given what happened when israel pulled out of the gaza strip There is an understandable fear and if you want to understand why so many israelis feel torn about this Their fear is okay. What happens if we pull out of the west bank and there is another hamas terrorist statement at our other border

And the midpoint of israel is like a mile wide That's an existential problem and so you have a tension where Obviously continuing to occupy another people that You know like i believe in a two-state solution I believe in the palestinian right to self-determination. Just as I believe in the jewish one period But you have to understand where that fear is coming from and why israel doesn't just Unilaterally pull out of the west bank as they did in gaza, you know 15 years ago, right? Why was why was the plo like israel and the plo had so many issues? It seemed like the plo was kind of this secular

Option right in terms of you know of the different factions of people that israel could negotiate with Why Were was israel kind of demonizing the plo? is Is there a hope again that because when you say the other side is hamas I don't know if hamas represents all palestinians, right? Oh, no, no, let let me be extremely clear the palestinians in gaza are living under hamas occupation understood but right but isn't that

Because they can't leave and it's not a functional state. So there's nothing. Yeah, let me just finish that I want to be like super clear about in the same way that I would make a distinction between the chinese communist party and the average chinese person, right, of course, I would make a distinction between you know dictatorial totalitarian leaders who throw gay people off buildings right and like And an actual people who live in miserated lives because of them and the average palestinian. What do I think they want? I think they want a good life. I think they want the exact same thing that anyone else wants Of course, I think

Is it yeah, it is my question is like who can Israel negotiate. I mean now. I guess it is hamas But how can there be any like there's a ceasefire now? Netanyahu is out. There's a new government being formed now Is there a new? Yeah, is there a new what? Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. It's hard to like read you with the glasses

I was going to say there's this new coalition government right with with an Arab party in the coalition Like this is a historic thing that's just happened in Israel for the first time ever This Rama party. I think it's called and do you think is the hope that there will be Uh, you know something in the in the way of a two-state solution being discussed because that seems The only possible solution you have Yes, and I think Love Trump or hate or hate Trump The reality is

Did anyone ten years ago ever think that Israel would sign a historic peace offer with countries like Qatar and the UAE and Saudi Arabia that there would be flights from Tel Aviv to Abu Dhabi Like the world is changing the region is changing and I think what's happening increasingly You know, whatever you think of those countries is that Israel is increasingly being accepted Like that it's not going away and that's the key to peace if the if Palestinian leadership can accept that Israel's just not going to go away. It's not going to Erase itself out of existence That's where peace comes and I think you see that and to me like that was an enormously

Huge seismic shift that happened in the Middle East the fact of this new coalition government the fact that you know like 20 percent, I'm not sure people understand this 20 percent of Israeli citizens are Israeli Arabs or Palestinians Like 22 percent of Israel's mit the technion is made up of Israeli Arabs They're in Knesset. They win reality tv shows like this is such a Like there is just such a gap between reality and the kind of things that you see from Bella Hadid's instagram feed about what's actually going on there and Frankly, I would love to take you. Maybe maybe abby martin would want to come too to to give people a sense of what's really happening there because like so many things in the legacy press

There's just an enormous gap between reality and this kind of like American parochial fantasy projection understood and i'm sure that it is Reality shows it being one and there's it is all love and light But when you shell when you shell The associated press building Because I mean that's not a great thing, right? Can we agree with that? Shelling anything is tragic killing people, right? Yes. What are you of course, right? But it's it's especially that it's a press building

And it seems like you have a country trying to intimidate the press when they do that tim tim israel's had to shell Hospitals israel's had to shell schools. Why? Because Hamas's Strategy is for innocent people to get killed I know that it's very hard for like coddled american brains to understand this but Like it is not Hamas's goal to protect its population Right, it's Hamas's goal to let its people suffer and die That is why it launches rockets from literally inside hospitals and kindergartens

Right, that's that's the reality. And so Like what do you do, right? If you are and israel has gone to like insane degrees to try and mitigate against Innocent people getting killed, but it's it's horrible and they're and it's like you look at the stories of these children and it's It's it's horrible. There's like There's no the full stop. That's it. But it's like we have to look at why they're in that situation Right. Well, I mean it's it's it's tough. I hope that there's some solution to it That you know upholds a dignity of people. I mean when you see the way the people living in palestine, that's not

I think a sustainable thing and most people I think Looking at this would say it's not sustainable, you know, and I yeah, I I completely I completely agree with you. That's why I support a two-state solution That's why I think that the sooner palestinian leadership can accept israel's existence the closer we'll get to peace Why don't the christians go back? I mean didn't we I mean Isn't this time to start listening to the christians my people? Is it not time to start you ready for another crusades? I am a little bit I mean, don't we think it's time now to realize that the other religions have had a time but the christians are kind of still the

We're the we're the ones you guys are the kings. Well, I mean am I wrong that seems I mean, we've never done it the christians. We just behave. We have dinner I think you need to go back to your crusader history. Here's what I'll say The I mean this is again like one of those stories that's enormous and that no one has talked about There has been a systemic purge of christians from the middle east Over the past several years coped it christians in egypt. Yes. I know that. Yes. There's like no christians left in the middle east You know where there's christians in israel palestinian christians. There's no christians in gaza like

Right like so again like as imperfect as israel is Like I think people need to have a little perspective when it's clearly a more tolerant society to live in that's a fact And where are people who are fleeing gays fleeing persecution in the west bank going for refuge? They're going to tell of eve. They're going to israel Right So it kind of it's a little sorry if I sound impassioned it boggles my mind a little bit To hear people who identify themselves as progressives and liberals sort of

Overlooking like the immiseration of muslim minorities across the of muslims across the world Uyghurs in china 500 000 palestinian Palestinians who live in refugee camps in lebanon and who are not allowed certain jobs. I interviewed a palestinian guy two days ago Palestinian born in kuwait built a hummus empire in miniapolis amazing story Why did he leave kuwait because he was a palestinian? He told me he's a third class citizen Kicking into university went to elementary school in the second half of the day because he's palestinian

It's like somehow only when israel or the jews are involved Do we care about the lives of muslims and arabs and palestinians? And I think that that is something that deserves a closer look Well, sure, but I do think that the answer can't be that they've had a tough time everywhere. So You know that I don't know that that justifies all of like the net and yahoo's actions Clearly or And i'm not saying you're saying it does But I know that it it's been difficult for them. And yes, they experience

The ira world is rife with sectarian conflicts where everyone hates each other, right? I mean, that's not that's not new I just think that there's got to be some Decision about where israel's borders are and I think the constant expansive nature of the policy And the settlements in the west bank and kind of what seems like it's a a policy that's kind of based on agitation And that to the outside Viewer to somebody like me who's again not a big stake in the game here I look at that and I go that when you see people getting evicted from their homes And I know that benjapiro is saying that it was you know, uh

A bill coming due from years and years ago or whatever. It's a contract to sheet your off thing I tried to understand I watched him three times. It was a contract somebody getting it. It just does it seems Okay, but but all you need to like just make it super basic Yeah, the shake the shake giraffe thing. Yeah, I don't support what israel was doing, but it was about six homes Watch those clips from hamas. What's it about? I understand it is really about but I think it's like When it's six homes six families six groups of people it just blows up Think about america and how many movements have been started about, you know, one interaction with police that's gone wrong So even though it's six homes, I think that there's like, you know, the power of media and the power of everything

It it's I think it exemplifies the issue to people I don't think it's yeah, but but you're saying the power of media you have to ask yourself Why is there this obsession with this conflict? Why is there an obsession with this conflict to the exclusion of everything else? Well, because it's so long standing. I know I know that you would say it's because of anti-semitism It's a bed in china. No, I'm just saying like it's not that long standing. It's pretty long standing, right? It's about since I mean depending on how you count, but you could say it's from 48 or 67 In the scope of like ongoing wars in the world. It's not that law. I mean, it's terrible

It's horrible. I think it's the occupation is Eating at the soul of israel's democracy like I have no problem saying that but you you have to wonder like Why is there this? absolute and utter fixation With this tiny color America is very supportive of israel, right? So you have Any conflict in the middle east you have america getting drawn into it You know on on in terms of narrative like america has to make it to sit and america has been incredibly supportive of israel You know when trump moves the embassy to jerusalem

It just becomes a massive news story because it is america. It's an american president doing it and yes There's anti-semitism out there and people do fixate on things because of anti-semitism But this seems to be it's about the fact that america is so supportive of israel's actions that I think It makes the story bigger than it might necessarily otherwise be But it's like You're constantly hearing about let's say american foreign aid It's like america gives tens of billions of dollars in foreign aid to

Countries all over europe to egypt all over the middle east and like there's this Obsession on israel and the reason tim that i'm interested in that is like that Demonization that is so beyond criticism Has actual effects in the lives of jews in this country. Of course. Yeah, like like when a caravan of people waving palestinian flags Drives through west hollywood and pulls up to a sushi restaurant and says who's a jew And then beats the shit out of people or we're a caravan of cars in The uh, uh, jewish neighborhood in london drives through and says fuck the jews and rape their daughters. Yes I'm sorry. Yeah, no 100 but there's a there's a that's why i'm that's why i care about this so much

Right, I don't I care about this like israel's gonna do it. It's it's real its own country That's a foreign conflict the reason it matters so much to so many american jews beyond You know the fact that For many reasons is because the way people talk about israel has incredible ramifications On jews all over the world should it be constitutional though to boycott israel if you want to The bds movement like it seems to be your free speech person Is it weird to mandate that american citizens have? A responsibility to not boycott the actions of a foreign country

Like with those bills. Yeah, I think what you're referring to are these bills that that say that there is a bbs You know boycott divestment and say yeah Yeah, but what the bills say is that americans america that states and governments won't Do contracts with businesses That support bds just in the way that american cut that states have contracts that say We won't do business with companies that support, you know a white supremacist organization It's like what is bds about it does a college student have a right to stand up and say boycott israel 100% Does abby martin have a right to go on youtube and say that and should her video be not be taken down 100%

But like let's be clear about what bds is bds is a movement Not about palestinian rights not about creating a palestinian state not about opposing the israeli occupation of the west bank It's about the eradication of the state of israel and the question is whether or not you think that that policy itself Is anti-semitic in effect if not an intent Well 100 100% is is anti-semitic if that's what the policy is It is sure, but should you be let let's say somebody says hey I don't believe That israel or the united states or whatever country has the right to exist because of the way it was founded, right?

Do you stifle that person's right to speak even though it's i think it's a ridiculous thing Do you stifle that person's right to speak and i my answer would be no My answer is also no What I think is important to add to it though is is what bds is about I I think people really don't get it most people who are supporting bds Like young people or you know that think they're anti-zionist think they're just supporting the underdog No, what bds is about is the elimination of the largest jewish community on planet earth. That's it. Miami and that's okay the uh

Are they trying to They're trying to care for the I was gonna wear like a uh like a bokeh lady outfit for you today Well, listen barry where where could people support you and find you now because I know you left the new york times Did you leave or did they get you it was a thing right? You just said it's time for me to go I jerry mcguired myself out of there, right? Yeah, yeah Was it weird to work there where people people were hostile to you openly towards the end? Oh, some people were hostile openly in the beginning, but yes, right okay. Yeah, all right

It wasn't it was it was uh It was not the middle east, but it was a hostile situation and you know like you talk about a lot on your show. There's there's I think that the most interesting independent voices right now are On the outside and not the inside of these institutions that I wanted to leave so that I could Be free to tell the truth, which is the reason I became a journalist to begin with right where can people support me? They can support me at um on my newsletter It's barry weiss dot sub stack dot com and I'm going to be launching a podcast in a few days And I know that you're going to be doing lunch that day or in no

We just don't you would cancel you just because we made a joke about you So we said barry was so definitely cancel the podcast, but the fact that you haven't it's um, I'm we're shocked You're shocked. I mean, I don't know. I don't hang out with journalists and I don't know these people Yeah, I just know the kid we make fun of Katie Herzog all the time and Katie always comes on We do like Katie Herzog a lot Well, Katie Herzog has an amazing series going on right now on my newsletter About um the spread of the liberal ideology in the world of medicine and there's an absolutely bananas Up there today. It's not good. It's not good. People should read it and uh, no, I'm a huge fan

I mean as you know, my favorite even though you go after me and various other people, uh, I Freaking loved the segment on the air b&b lesbians, which I have watched several times they I'm still banned and you know, it's uh, You want to talk about israel palestine? This is another long-standing conflict of which there will be no two-state solution and I Feel like I'm the People that are you? I don't know. I mean, I feel like they have They feel like I have the power and they feel like

I feel like they have the power so nobody really I drew some I was thrown off air b&b. I literally you actually were banned from I'm banned. We have to use ben's account I stay in hotels most of the time anyway, but like You know, it's it's crazy and it's not even a deep platformer discussion You can enter into because nobody has any sympathy when you're thrown off air b&b. It's not like you would throw off twitter Or anything people are just like they think you're like unsanitary or something and And again, it lesbians shouldn't be decorating homes. This is the reality in the same way that

Gay men shouldn't be doing certain things and it's a natural conflict between gays and lesbians But you know, maybe that will they'll come on and we'll we'll talk it out with them. I don't know if you know them They're very stylish. I would love to broker that camp david accord on this show as as someone that You know identifies with parts of who they are parts of who you are I feel like I can be switzerland in that situation. Well, we hope well, we thank you again barry. I know the week was tough barry wise dot substack dot com You can subscribe to barry's newsletter that's out there and support what she's doing

And we appreciate you for coming on and now no one can get angry because we've had everybody on Except the real winners the christians Who should be given the whole area back? Because we are the people who've never done anything to anyone. That's the truth That's the truth christians have become the people to really be to rely on in my in my We have like a nice we have like a whole It's too much with the jews and the arabs all the time bring the christians in let's do the easter It's nice for everyone barry wise. Thank you. Thank you very much. We appreciate it