The Tim Dillon Show - 274 - Tourettes Gang

Starting point is 00:00:00 Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim Dillon show. We're doing a quick one this week We're running around and we're on tour right now. So we we're not gonna be with you for the hour We're probably gonna do closer to 45 minutes. If you have a problem with that you can go watch something else We don't care Colin Powell is dead and it's very sad and he you know, he was the first black a liar and he lied

Starting point is 00:00:27 To the UN he was the first black person who told a big lie about Iraq and he knew it was a lie and We respect Colin Powell because that's the game of politics is lying. I mean and he did it well He was a leader and a legend and he did many other things that were great, but he also, you know Unfortunately, you know Dick Cheney and that that that crew of goblins Got him to go in and sell the Iraq war and people believed it. I believed it. I was in you know, like 12th grade at the time 11th or 12th grade and I thought that we had to go into Iraq and democratize the Middle East. I believe that I was a closeted gay cocaine addict

Starting point is 00:01:12 and to me that logic made sense that People in the Middle East hated us because we were free and we had to make them free So that they would not hate us anymore And the way to do that was to go into the country of Iraq and get rid of Saddam Hussein This is for you zoomers out there. This is what happened when I was in high school. You had COVID and whatever I had the the Iraq war and the Iraq war was this war Where similar to Afghanistan

Starting point is 00:01:47 That was going to fix all the problems it was going to put pressure on Iran and all these other anti-democratic regimes and it was going to force them to become thriving Societies that respected the rule of law and the rights of women and they were gonna become good trading partners And that's really what it's about. But Colin Powell was essential in this because Colin Powell went to the UN and Gave this very convincing speech about Saddam Hussein having weapons of mass destruction And it was a black mark on an otherwise pretty stellar career and

Starting point is 00:02:31 it said that he died of COVID he died because He had a cancer that was attacking his immune system He was fully vaccinated, but that doesn't really matter if you have a cancer that's attacking your immune system We'll see their statements here to pull we're recording this on the day that he died We're a week early today because we had to use the studio new studios being built working with a new realtor Very excited about that who seems to be a little bit more on the ball. Yes, he's what we understand We've had very bad luck with realtors across the board. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, very bad luck everything and realtors

Starting point is 00:03:09 Fall into two categories usually they are Older menopausal women That are suffering mild brain damage from either a car accident or an Undiagnosed or self-diagnosed autoimmune disorder these women are usually Middle-aged mid-age they're on their second marriage or trying to keep the loveless first marriage and

Starting point is 00:03:42 Real estate for them might be a second career or it may be a first career that they kind of had while they were raising their children and Every new client is a new husband for them and They find a way to let every new client down in the same way that they let their husband down Over 30 years and that's the what is this that you pulled up? This is an interesting I was average age of an employed real estate agent is 48 Yeah, the average age of an employed real estate agent is 48 years old. So that's it usually It's a menopausal woman who's having hot flashes

Starting point is 00:04:21 Wants to fuck Ben and I walk in behind him and go here's the bad news I have all the money and They basically make a big mess out of everything you're trying to do the other realtor is a young Jocular bro-ey guy who got into real estate because he wants to crush it. He wants to fucking crush it and Both of these people are incredibly unhelpful when you're trying to get something done They're incredibly unhelpful the menopausal woman deals Solely in the realm of emotions and says things like yeah, oh Hmm well

Starting point is 00:05:01 I believe what I think we can do here's what and then the bro-ey guys like yeah make it happen We're gonna fucking make it happen get it done neither one of them gets it done Yeah, there's 156,000 real estate agents currently employed in the United States 53% are women 42% are men It is a women-dominated field real estate It is one of the fields that women dominate as they should many of them are very good at it, but many are not and We've had some real tough run-ins with real estate agents

Starting point is 00:05:41 You know my realtor out in Palm Springs lovely woman lovely, but fits the demographic of what I talked about Uh, then we had the real estate agent of Gore Hills remember her same thing. Oh, yeah, we had the realtor in Malibu similar thing yes Incredibly bad at her job to these windows open. I don't know. I mean just a lazy Person, you know that had no understanding of what she was doing from day to day And you know then we had the woman in Texas who was good She was probably the best of all of them, but still not perfect from you know not not Perfect, but good better, right? I found the house though

Starting point is 00:06:19 That's what you don't realize when you when you use a real estate agent you actually do most of the work You do all of the work you find the house You call them up and you go, please God. Can we not lose this like we've done three other times and They go, no not a problem. We're gonna get it don't worry to him I'm gonna make it happen and And and and then sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't work, but we're excited because we're building out this New studio that we're very excited about to take us into the new era of the Tim Dillon show the post-COVID era the you know wherever we are and

Starting point is 00:07:00 We'll be very happy there and very excited about it. We're also I've just been hired at SNL and They've they've not announced that So congrats to me Congratulations to me But I I was hired and the sketch that I pitched I'm not even kidding. I was shocked that this got on the air, but the sketch that I I pitched Was a George Floyd cooking a cookoff Where people make food to honor the memory of George Floyd I was shocked

Starting point is 00:07:42 That it was gonna get on the but hey, I'm excited as we're doing that next week over its Saturday night life and of course the sketch is to Make fun of the the way that activists promote themselves and Not the cause that they are promoting and nothing's funnier to me than a bunch of amateur chefs making food To commemorate the death of George Floyd that of course a sad thing that he died tragic But these sketch and I do explain this

Starting point is 00:08:19 Because you you don't get the benefit of the doubt But I said well we have the CBS show the activists what's really funny Let's start doing cooking competitions where people are showing their activism through food and then the contestants can accuse each other of being racist and Appropriating culture. It's a lot of fun. It's a great idea for a sketch on Saturday night life, so they hired me and we're making that sketch next week George Floyd cookoff It's the opening sketch. I'm very excited about now. The problem is the entire cast will not be in it So it's just me and Lauren against the entire cast there's a massive walk out very similar to what's happened over at the Netflix Massive walk out so the entire SNL cast so if you want to be in it

Starting point is 00:09:06 Just DM me or show up at SNL. I want to be in the George Floyd sketch and bring a gun That's a joke But I say bring a gun for safety. What else is going on here? You told me a very interesting thing about the There's people at sea. There's a crew of people that were lost at sea. Yes. Yes So, you know, this this was a February 2021 February 2021 after three years abandoned at sea Without pay this oil tanker crew is on the cusp of going home This is a very interesting story when a shipping company from the United Arab Emirates, which is why they by the way

Starting point is 00:09:49 Why do they have the best airline? I'll tell you why do you know why because it's fear Because if you work for Emirates, you have a fear of fucking up when you work at Delta or American There is no fear of fucking up But when you work at Emirates, I can't say why this is but maybe it's because the United Arab Emirates is a bit stricter a bit harsher With some of the punishments that are doled out for many of the things that people do and There's something that is instilled in the flight attendants where they just do the right thing Emirates is a phenomenal airline

Starting point is 00:10:29 United Arab Emirates hits financial trouble in 2017 the shipping company hit financial trouble in 2017 and an abandoned and they abandoned an oil tanker off the coast of Dubai now Dubai is this modern City that's kind of built on slave labor and it's you know a lot of people are pointing to this and saying this is no good Now Dubai is incredibly hot. They have like indoor Everything's indoors. I think they have indoor ski slopes like what they've been able to do in Dubai is amazing Because you can't really spend that much time outside What do they have is this an indoor ski slope? Yeah, the indoor ski slopes. I mean they have everything here They have everything in Dubai everything you could want

Starting point is 00:11:14 Inside because what is the average temperature in Dubai? It's very hot so what you have to do is spend a lot of your time in inside It's very very hot Yes, September. It's 102. Yes, so forget. I mean the summer forget it and But the city They've used a lot of what they consider slave labor to build these very tall very luxurious buildings and

Starting point is 00:11:45 They have been criticized for that heavily So now they abandoned a shipment company they ran into trouble and they abandoned this oil tanker It left a small crew aboard. They were stranded at sea Without pay or away home. We're talking 2017 Those men have been on the tanker ever since But a chance at Repatriation for the five remaining crew seems to be finally within grasp the owner told us, please wait I want to sell the ship and after I will clear the salaries

Starting point is 00:12:18 It's nice remembers nay when who came to work as a chief engineer on the empty Iba Iba from his home in Myanmar So we are waiting waiting waiting Be patient be patient So when start to work on the tanker 2017 a few months before the on it's amazing to me that people could just show through the whole pandemic Through the entire pandemic these guys are stuck on an oil tanker It's kind of worked out. Well if you think about like everyone's gonna go and blame the guys

Starting point is 00:12:54 They're gonna say you shouldn't have done this But really I love the quote all's well that ends well And if you think about this these people have been socially distanced Away from others during a global pandemic How are they getting food? Somebody said that the article they go without money. How can they eat with no money? How do we manage? How is this I? Don't understand how this is happening. Do you understand how they're eating? I'm assuming they're fishing I'm looking at the gentlemen. They're probably fishing over the over the board and they might have cans of food

Starting point is 00:13:34 You know, but the the only collateral they have it says the only collateral they have is the ship itself So that's why they don't abandon it because the the company, you know wants to get the ship back So they they're trying to get paid, you know Well, can't the company just hire people to go on there and kill them and take the ship? I suppose so I believe that's the next step But I mean I understand what they're saying Bowerman said his organization has been supporting the crew through quote a pretty grim existence But again, it's only one way to look at it They may have been living in the same clothes for months

Starting point is 00:14:08 Washing in cold water or seawater and relying on his charity for food So someone's bringing them food out there, but couldn't they just get on a boat and leave? They don't have passports it says so they're they can't go anywhere. They can't you know, so they're totally stuck But a boat comes something drops them off food and they can't get on this boat and leave Well, I guess well the thing they want to get paid Right, so they're keep they're staying on the ship until they get paid. Okay, I stand off The first thing is to make sure they've got food. They've got water. They've got a little bit of oil for the generators The organization also wanted to quote be physically present to listen to their stories bring them news of home

Starting point is 00:14:46 Don't even do that. Don't bring them any news of home Try to ensure that their well-being is looked after as much as possible. So now what what is gonna happen here? So it's following the agreement over pay the crew agreed agreed to stay on the ship while towed to safety with hopes that the Repatriation process can begin early next month. So they eventually got home and supposedly got supposedly got paid For their time at sea. I smell a movie. I Think it would be a good film to have these guys on the boat Just Existing

Starting point is 00:15:23 But we've had too many films like that already We've had too many so then it goes music barbecues Wi-Fi managing morale for those idle to see I bet they were having a little more fun than they wanted to admit Do you go gay in that time in three years? It's a question. Do you it's very odd Three years of no females. Do you go gay because if this is a movie? It's got it. It's got to just be about gay sex Muslim gay sex That would have to be the direction Hollywood goes in Muslim guys and they're like I have this religion

Starting point is 00:16:02 But I also want to fuck and there's no women around. So it just becomes like a hot kind of orgy and That seems like the way that the movie would would go It would be like broke back mountain, but these guys in an oil tanker For three years who can't bathe You know just kind of pounding on an oil tanker Well, I wish them the best God bless You had an experience

Starting point is 00:16:36 Everybody is looking in life For everybody plans everything everybody has a plan and this is the real problem. I noticed in between my generation where our parents did not care about us at all and Subsequent generations where people were you know, what do they call them? Helicopter parents. They were always involved. They were helping your child strategize Every single moment of their life There's some happy medium there and many parents listen to the show There's a happy medium between my parents where they just dropped you off at Pizza Hut and said go get molested and the people that were

Starting point is 00:17:15 Planning every single moment of your life because really you can't plan Everything sometimes you're gonna end up on a ship Having sex with a man and you didn't know you were gay, but you have three years Teen girls are showing up to the doctor with tics Experts think anxiety depression and tiktok could be playing a role. I have motor tick syndrome Something that I've had since I'm a kid. I have tics. I have eye tics. I have all kinds of tics If I don't get sleep or if I'm eat a lot of sugar and what have I done that never thank God I've never done that but if if if I do these things if I don't

Starting point is 00:17:56 Care for my overall health the tics will get worse I do not have the vocal component of Tourette's where I would yell words that would get me kicked off this site where you're watching the show. I don't have that but People do Tourette syndrome is a genetic nervous system disorder can cause tics repetitive and voluntary movements or Sounds it mostly impacts boys and the tics physically start when a person is young and then develop over time But women get them as well and now women's tics and you you may know more than me But I read this article they seem that they're being

Starting point is 00:18:35 Exacerbated by the meaning made worse by the content they're watching on tic-tac and tic-tac ironically tic Toc So these people that have Tourette's are watching people on tic-tac and just stroking out. Is that what's going on here? Yeah, it says doctors noted that what's happening. Is it necessarily it's not Tourette's but a functional movement. It's a functional movement Disorder because kids want to fit in they want to fit in They want a community people all over the world want a community whether it's hot people or rich people or

Starting point is 00:19:14 fucking activists or Poets or fucking some dumb hick. They all want a community and Even people That any community will do There the standards for what community you end up in are not high People don't care. So if you have to have tics as part of

Starting point is 00:19:41 The initiation to get into the community go hey you tick I tick We're like this so I don't understand so some kids have pulled out their phones and they show the doctors Uh tic-tac and it's full of these Tourette's cooking and alphabet challenges I don't know what those are, but I imagine it's people with Tourette's cooking And just screaming like different slurs and as they come and cooking everyone because it's funny. It's funny when you make an omelet

Starting point is 00:20:11 You go faggot It's funny. That's funny. I'd watch that but I wouldn't because then maybe I'd tick more that's the game And then I can't blame you know nobody would believe people don't even believe I do if I just started saying horrible things Nobody's gonna say oh he has Tourette. No one would care. It's mild Tourette's and I can't get away with anything Um like I have mild homosexuality. My homosexuality is not pronounced But it's it's effective when it needs to be I I have sex with men But that doesn't that's not really what being gay is anymore being gay is not really having sex with men It's really dyeing your hair

Starting point is 00:20:46 It's gone from having sex with men to dyeing your hair Which is much easier to do having sex with with men You have to put a penis in your mouth like an entire penis Or in your butt or you have to put your penis in someone else's butt. It's uh, it's uh, it's an activity And dyeing your hair is is relatively simple You would dye it a purple or a blue or a green and then not have sex with men women or anyone But you can be queer You can be queer and go i'm queer and you go well, what does that mean and they go

Starting point is 00:21:20 Well, I don't I reject the gender binary and I reject I'm pansexual you go. Well, what does that mean? Well, I have sex with anyone. Well, who have you had sex with? Well, not anyone really Or maybe I have say but usually it's I'm pansexual, but I'm not having sex With a person of the same sex. I just have sex with my boyfriend But I'm a white woman with blue hair. So I'm queer So it's interesting that I have a very mild form of homosexuality It has not progressed into

Starting point is 00:21:50 Died hair and the rejection of the actual sex acts because that's the That's the heightened form of homosexuality where you you reject any and all sexual contact, but you replace it with fun Glitter and hairstyles and things like that. Um Some kids have pulled out their phones. They show the doctors. Hey, I'm watching people with Tourette's cook and do half of the challenges The Jerusalem Post reported that these disorders can be treated doctors suggest kids take a social media break Isn't it time to take a break if social media is giving you Tourette syndrome Isn't it time to take a break

Starting point is 00:22:35 If social media Is giving you an involuntary tick disorder It might be time To take a break and I don't know the like I don't think these kids are Forcing these ticks This is actually something that is happening to them, right? Well, you also see communities on tiktok of people who claim they have like ass burgers or autism, right and they love to uh What's it called where where they shake? I forget what they call it where they where they do this together

Starting point is 00:23:07 I don't because it's sensory overload So it's girls jumping on their bed doing this because they love to have autism So it's a lot of like feigned they see that these people are very popular and a lot of these things are feigned To be just like interesting, you know So I think a lot I think a lot of this is probably fake, right? I think we've gotten to a point now where technology I've made this point at nauseam has flattened everybody to the point where people aren't really developing personalities anymore So the only way to distinguish themselves is to get a disorder and get it quick

Starting point is 00:23:38 Get a disorder and get it quick Anxiety depression Tourette's Don't be picky ass burgers anything get on the spectrum and stay there That seems to be if you want a social life The best thing you can do as a child is to develop some type of disorder on now in the real world That doesn't work as well, but online people actually gravitate to each other on the basis of shared horror Shared pain shared problems Nobody online is like I love this and the other person's like I love that let's together

Starting point is 00:24:10 Usually it's like I am suffering. I am also suffering. I hate this. I also hate this Let's form a bond and all of these kids they're meaningful social interactions are primarily online So what they're doing is they're going online and they're saying who else has a problem And certain problems look more fun than others And I mean and I'm not saying that These problems aren't real and they don't exist and that people don't genuinely have them I'm saying that this word that nobody likes to use social contagion Everyone hates that because usually when people talk about it

Starting point is 00:24:46 They talk about a lot of the women that are now identifying as non-binary And they're saying, you know, there are people that say how many people are non-binary and the entire class at Oberlin college raises their hand And you go statistically it's impossible I come from a time where being a faggot was special Now not so much now part of This social contagion word that people don't like is because it was used against gay people and against all you know We're saying this isn't really who you are. You're just doing this to piss off tipper gore or something

Starting point is 00:25:21 I don't know. Remember Al Gore's fat wife. He didn't like Marilyn Manson I don't know if she had a problem with gays, but whatever she didn't like Marilyn Manson And I thought he was cool back then not so much now. It's gone in a weird direction I can't fully support but anti christ superstar was a good album if you were a seventh grade goth closeted gay Guy who was just starting to discover that you could crush up pills and put them up your nose now People hate that word social contagion, but we're social animals We exist in a social space and all of the things we do

Starting point is 00:25:54 Primarily are to make ourselves Achieve a level of comfort And then there are people out there that don't want that level of comfort and push through it And those are the people genuinely not always but generally can accomplish things Because to accomplish things you have to push yourself out of a comfort zone But everything we're doing socially is to arrange our lives to be comfortable and having friends and having social um Commitments to people is a way to be

Starting point is 00:26:28 comfortable And you know who does it the melk boys do it they do it very well And they have built this community amongst college kids who just want to drink party get fucked up Get their dicks wet I mean they want to have fun and my favorite now kid is steve will do it Support him now before he's in a mexican jail Steve will do it He's the world's number one youtube channel. I don't know if that's true, but it might be

Starting point is 00:26:57 And if you're drunk enough it is Steve is great. He's always giving people teslas. He loves watches. He makes bazillions of dollars And he's part of the collection of melk. They're a canadian group internet pranksters if you will They go and have a lot of fun They get to drive around and and drink and do coke in front of the cops and because they're white None of them get shot it would be hard for a black group to pull off some of their videos, right? It would end with minnesota being burned down because that's just the reality of of of race in the country

Starting point is 00:27:30 I didn't do it But this is unfortunate, right? There isn't really a black melk. Is there can you be a black melk? Can you just go around and pretend to have cocaine on you if you're a black guy? Probably not see Candace Owens would say you can so like you could absolutely be a black melk You could be a black melk I think you can Steve is one of the biggest he's got one of the biggest emerging fashion brands, baby With full send they send me stuff. Look at this hat

Starting point is 00:28:02 Go to full send.com to sign up for exclusive merch drops. Everything is currently sold out And you don't want to miss out on any more full send exclusives A lot of the young guys love That while we're doing these ads and they're signing up Lastly go right now to steve will do its youtube channel and see what the hubbub is about for yourself He drops new videos every single thursday go to his youtube channel right now See what he's doing. What is he up to one of my favorite things? He did was he standing in a vip line in a casino and a woman doesn't know who he is and goes

Starting point is 00:28:32 Why are you in that line and he turns around and goes shut the fuck up you stupid bitch? So it's fun stuff like that Bradley martin is hiding brian laundry Surprising david dobrik with a tesla. Yeah Well, he's also doing philanthropy with tukashi six nine. That's right. They go around and help Uh young drunks Secure drugs and alcohol for themselves Getting a happy ending massage

Starting point is 00:29:00 I opened a free food truck in compton. I raced my Lamborghini for 200,000 I almost died with stevo I'm dating a beauty beautiful 31 year old latina woman and he's young steve will do it He's like a young person. How old is this guy? I believe he's like 22. He's 22 He's young and he's he's a very successful guy and he's been very kind to us here at the show He's been very nice to us and he's 21 22. Yeah 22. He's always trying to help us out and this goes to show you not every 22 year old with

Starting point is 00:29:36 Uh a drinking problem and mild autism is gonna be as successful as this guy It's it's not gonna happen. You know what I mean? You have to really put in the work and that work will kill you Most people who try to do what steve will do it does will die Truly They will die. So the fact that this guy has not only remained alive, but thrive is amazing. So go To his website steve will do it, right? Yeah, just his youtube channel. That's what he's really promoting We'll do it on youtube go to steve. We'll do it on youtube and subscribe

Starting point is 00:30:14 Do you have any plans for the halloween? I know it's coming up and you know october is a great month and Many people are excited about halloween is you because you were a jesus school Were you allowed to participate in halloween? Uh, yeah, but it was it was very innocent Like, you know, you dress up like a little like a little skeleton. You just get candy. It wasn't like, uh Like you went to haunted houses and stuff along the island, right? Well, we would go sometimes do things like uh Hey ride or a haunted house. Yeah, and nothing like that too satanic My neighbors didn't read harry potter, you know people were weird about that people were weird about it And you were able to just but you would go trick-or-treating. Yeah. Yeah, who would you go with?

Starting point is 00:30:55 Just uh my mom and my dad and they would bring you trick-or-treating We'd go in the neighborhood in the neighborhood and they would what would you get? You get the the the classics you get you get Reese's cups. You get butterfinger. You get twix. Here's the deal folks You need to have if you're gonna do a halloween bowl of candy Reese's is the best. It's it's it's a peanut butter cup. That's number one. It's really the number one candy I believe go look at the candy's ranked. Look at the rankings of the candies. I'm not a huge candy person But Reese's is amazing. You got to have the little bags of m&m's You got to have the little butterfingers. You maybe also you got you got to have the little hershey's where it's like special dark

Starting point is 00:31:35 And milk chocolate the little hershey's things start at number one. Well, yeah, what is the number one ranked candy in america? Yeah, Reese's peanut butter cups. Yeah, they just are this is specifically for halloween So you're right on the money with that. Here's the thing about the Reese's peanut butter cup It's kind of the perfect candy When my parents told me that they were getting divorced because they didn't love each other anymore And it surprised me because I thought all the fighting and the screaming and the sleeping in separate bedrooms meant that things were going well but when they told me that they didn't want to be a family anymore, but they were going to live together and

Starting point is 00:32:08 Have a very painful two-year period of figuring out who got aunt gussey's coffee table I took solace in the peanut butter cup, which is great if you freeze it if you put a peanut butter cup in the Refrigerator or freezer. It's great. They're great in ice cream. They're just phenomenal They are the best candy by far you and your wife got a bowl of horrible things to give to children That's not true They didn't have Reese's they don't have M&M's But we had they don't have hershey's we had peanut butter snickers, which are good. They're not nothing twix is number two on this list We had twix which you you uh

Starting point is 00:32:47 You really if you're a child and you're eating twix Twix's campaign was like never for children. Isn't it? What was wait? What was it? Well? No, that was kid cat. Kid cat was you need a break. Yeah Yeah, but it was like kid cat. I think it's for all my mother likes kid cat. I think kid cats for like older people Yeah, twix's slogan is try both pick a side Okay, interesting. I don't know that that's the one to have in this political climate, huh? But it's kind of sexy and fun try both pick a side. It's like i'm not picking a side How about that?

Starting point is 00:33:23 But it's exciting times here, you know, uh with halloween Right around the corner. Remember the gang in this initiation myth, but maybe it wasn't a myth Where people were worried That if you went out on halloween Uh people in gangs We're going to kill you Because then they could get into the gang

Starting point is 00:33:49 This was the thing that white suburbanites. Yes, we're like it was on their radar That halloween now by the way it all these myths come from something So there's there there has to be some truth to the idea that there is something going on on halloween I'm checking it on snopes. Well snopes is a cia front, but it is. Yeah, kind of is But they cite up and no recently snopes. It was like Jeffrey Epstein's a math teacher like snopes is full of shit Fucking listening to snopes I'm just saying it has to it doesn't mean that the level of like satanic panic where people get crazy. Yes, but were there Was there some child molestation going on?

Starting point is 00:34:38 Indisputably It was happening And with some of those people evil and occult and whatever for sure But yes, did it go crazy to the point where like tipper goers running around going? Hey You know pantera and mariland manson and ozzy osbourne like yeah, it went crazy But so I think the halloween uh gang initiation Has to come from somewhere

Starting point is 00:35:04 Well, it says like here like in 2008 was a busy year for the gang initiation week concept because in the days before halloween and oa Two men were arrested in newark for a drug and gang related shooting rampage that left two dead And an intelligence report by the virginia state police presented a possible scenario in which the bloods would target law enforcement on halloween With an ambush Precipitated by a low level gang member following a call to the police about a domestic disturbance or a street fight Right. I heard that too that they were going to go after cops And then they were gonna Yeah, this they don't seem to materialize

Starting point is 00:35:38 No, I was always told that like on halloween people would drive around without their headlights off And if you flashed them to warn them that their headlights were off then they would turn around and chase you down and kill you Well, this is all part of these gang initiation myths and then there was oh, you're gonna get people are gonna poison your candy Remember that they were like don't accept an apple which is I get it Yeah, they're like remember that there's a story where there's like razor blades in an apple Yeah, I wonder if that was urban myth It might have been I love the idea of Americans telling their fat children to not accept the fruit Don't you accept an apple?

Starting point is 00:36:11 You take Snickers races Oh, there's a whole there's a whole Wikipedia for poisoned candy myths. We're a very terrified country We like fear fear is what unites us and halloween

Starting point is 00:36:31 Is a great time for people to be afraid Of losing the family members that they don't really care about anyway It's a very good time for that And this was a boomer thing. They were like everybody's gonna kidnap you poison your candy Gangs are good. This is how I grew up And they they don't realize now they don't understand why everybody's has anxiety and depression and Everybody's paranoid. They're like there's a white van that's driving around the community who's going to kidnap you and fuck you

Starting point is 00:37:03 and then The gang is going to initiate You're going to be part of a gang initiation when you get shot in the head On halloween if you haven't died from your poison apple first. By the way, this is straight out of like Uh, what's the one with the poison apple snow white? Yeah, yeah, yeah This is straight out of like a grim's fairy tale that there are people poisoning candy Now i'm sure a few people did that maybe no no no in fact, uh, this just gained credence during the industrial revolution So it seems to be xenophobic because it says when food production moved out of the home or local area

Starting point is 00:37:40 Where it was made in familiar ways by known and trusted people to strangers using unknown ingredients and unfamiliar machines and processes So as soon as it wasn't local anymore People were going well, you don't know who made that you don't know where that came from Why haven't xenophobic people continued with that and like like why aren't they talking about poison burritos? Because people are too fat. Yeah, I guess they love the you can slander an apple You can't slander an empanada people go. I don't care. I don't care if it's poison. It's good. It's warm and I can hold it in my hand I love the apples took a beating Like yeah, they're uh poisoning the apples. There's razor blades in the fruit. There's uh

Starting point is 00:38:20 The produce is gonna kill you. Don't I love it. It's all the things we're told is just horrible. Don't eat anything that's not in the package Don't eat anything that's not highly processed food You look at the corporation that made that food before you ate it I'm gonna give out celery sticks this year that have been dipped in fentanyl I want to be the first person who actually poisoned people on halloween We should set up a video Where Like the door opens and I just give kids

Starting point is 00:39:00 Healthy food and have them reject it Because it's poison My mom said that's poison. I'm like it's a salad It's poison What is that? It's radicchio. That's poison Give me a cadbury cream egg or whatever. I mean that's for easter but It's an unhealthy country. What do you want me to do?

Starting point is 00:39:27 If a big news story happens, as we will address it on the patreon, we wanted to do A video episode my my I wish the best to everybody here that's uh Suffering from involuntary tick disorders from their use of social media. There is a time when perhaps we should put the phone down How bad is this going to get are they going to be people that are like actually getting cancer To fit in When will this end? Well, did you see all the videos of the people faking the side effects of the covet vaccine? Well, I've seen some of that. Yeah, yeah

Starting point is 00:39:59 Um, but I I think there are real side effects, but I don't know if people are filming right. Yeah Like some of them are like this. Yeah, it's like But here's the other thing um Here's the other thing I was thinking about what were we just talking about before you interrupted with the covet vaccine about the tiktok Symptoms that girls were having Yeah about social media

Starting point is 00:40:27 um Oh, yeah, I never liked you know when someone got cancer and then everyone shaved their head I think that's patronizing Like I I didn't love that And I know that's a heartwarming thing that most people are supposed to love It's the same with the dog videos. I never liked like the dog Uh is happy that the guys back for the soldiers back from Iraq I'm like you adopted this animal and then abandoned it to go to kill children in Iraq

Starting point is 00:40:59 The dog has no idea what you've been doing if the dog knew how many children and dogs you killed Probably right dogs can't judge I never liked those videos. I never liked the bald head Where we all shave our head Well, we're shaving it in solidarity. What I don't understand. I guess it makes young kids feel better. There's something nice about it I do you know like every now and then they'll be like this dad got his son's birthmark tattooed on him To make his son feel better and I go I get it. There's something sweet about that But the kids eventually gonna grow up and go this was dumb

Starting point is 00:41:40 right You know Like my dad's never copied anything that I like I wouldn't tell my dad to go out and be successful People have to have their own identities Tim dillon comedy.com. It's a quick one today, but last week we went 117 So that's it. It's you get what you get here Tim dillon comedy.com. I'm not reading all the dates. There's a lot of dates Come see us live. It's gonna be a lot of fun. We're doing stand-up comedy. Well, I am

Starting point is 00:42:13 It's a tremendous event We're all over the country After this tour we're going to the uk. We're announcing a week-long Tour in the uk. We're gonna be in london and in ireland and I believe scotland We're still firming up those details, but it's going to be good for everyone Everyone's going to love it It's going to be fun And eventually we're going to go to australia when they open that place up

Starting point is 00:42:41 But I mean they just went full fascist mode in australia Amazing you would never think it would be australia You'd never think it would be the chill laid-back country where people like grilling You never thought it would be Melbourne to bring an end to the world's longest lockdowns they Had the longest lockdown in the world These people were subject to all kinds of intrusions

Starting point is 00:43:13 Privacy that none they were pitching all this facial recognition software They're checking you and making sure you have coffee in your cup if you're out um It is a fascist con you can see how easily countries slip into 100 fascism and Australia was particularly susceptible To this because as I've said before their population is made up

Starting point is 00:43:42 Primarily of lazy and stupid criminals Which is why they had they were susceptible not not everyone is a lazy stupid criminal. I know that But too many people Are over there and it allowed the government to just trample over their rights and We're going to touch on the great resignation a little bit on the patreon, but uh There's something going on that's very interesting right now

Starting point is 00:44:15 The great resignation has gone global I believe the pandemic has made people think about mortality And their life in a way that they've never thought about it before Most people just get up every day and they'd kind of you know They don't question they just do And they have to because that's the way you know the system is set up I think more and more of those people all over the world are going What do I want out of life?

Starting point is 00:44:42 And they've seen or maybe no people that have died There was just enough death to make you go who There wasn't it wasn't black plague level by any means, but there was enough uncertainty and paranoia to go around That if you're if you're a sentient creature You had to start thinking about the random nature of life and how weird Cruel it is and that means you say to yourself What should I be doing? Am I wasting my time here at hula hands?

Starting point is 00:45:13 Am I wasting my time at restaurant chain hula hands? I might be Maybe I should not spend my entire life working at hula get up hula hands. I don't know what this is. I'm googling this Hula hands Get the menu up Who's hungry? You go to hula hands. It's just a woman eating a french onion soup and she's lifting it up So you can see how much cheese they put on top. They won't let me look at the menu till I tell them where I am

Starting point is 00:45:48 Just tell them anywhere. I'm jonesboro arkansas. Great So there are people right now that are working at hula hands Go to the appetizers you want apps. Okay. Yeah for lunch. Yeah, okay And those people every day are not being paid what they want And they have to say Do you want to try hula hands famous shrooms? And people go what is that and you go? It's panko crusted and garlic herb cream cheese stuffed mushrooms with a creamy horseradish sauce

Starting point is 00:46:24 And some people go no, I don't want that And they're in a rush And they're just having a first dinner with their kid since you know the breakup was announced and People go I don't want to do this. I don't want to work at a theme restaurant I don't want to tell people about hula hands famous shrooms. I want more out of life and you got to support those people but you also

Starting point is 00:46:51 Have to get a cup of coffee in less than an hour So how do you do that? How do you wrestle with those things? I want people to fully realize their dreams But I also want them to understand that dreams aren't real and we live in hell But I want people to to really try to go after what they want But I also want to get in and out of starbucks in less than an hour and a half Somebody has to work at starbucks Is that are they here? I think I heard someone. I'm not sure. Well, we're wrapping up. Anyway, there's a lot of really good podcasts at record here very successful people

Starting point is 00:47:30 um So that's my whole thing and that's what we're going to go into on the patreon wrestling with those two things between I want people Like some of the here's what it is some of the slave owners probably like the hymns And they would sit on the porch and go the music is beautiful But the field needs to get flat so it's a weird We're in a weird time. Goodbye

The Tim Dillon Show - 274 - Tourettes Gang

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