The Tim Dillon Show - 276 - The Squish

Starting point is 00:00:00 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. We have an audio-only episode for you. We're going to be doing video episodes on Mondays from now on that are going to be released Mondays, 9 p.m. This one's a little late, you know, this is a big week on our tour here. I'm in New York City doing a show at the Beacon Theater. We're coming from D.C. We've been living on a tour bus, but we have a new studio being built in Los Angeles, California. So we're here with Ray, and Ray has come over to the hotel and he's brought his equipment.

Starting point is 00:00:38 Hello. Thank you for having me. Yeah. Well, it was a necessary thing to have you. What, because of the equipment? Well, that's part of it. That seems, I mean, I feel like people like me. Well, you insulted my hat. It's not a great hat. You insulted my hat.

Starting point is 00:00:52 Look, I see a hat that you wear hats sometimes that people see you in the videos wearing hats occasionally with your sunglasses. I wear them frequently. They're good hats. This is you have his hat. It's got an old school mesh hat, but it's not even like a trucker hat. It's the kind of hat you buy at a gift shop of a golf course when like you forgot you get to a golf course and you go, oh, I forgot my hat.

Starting point is 00:01:14 I'm afraid to get in like leopard spots on my head. Let me get a hat. Right. And then and you and you and you're flaunting it to me. I say, oh, what's up with the hat? You go, what do you mean? Well, I'm not flaunting it. You came in and immediately started attacking you.

Starting point is 00:01:26 Well, you said, this is a cool hat. I'm like, whoa, look, it was a gift. It's a nice gift. Someone gave it to me. It's fine. It's a gift. I always said originally it was like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. Because it's not the kind of hat I think you would wear.

Starting point is 00:01:41 Are you, are you, are you acting the way you're acting now like on a pedestal because you're going to teach a class at the University of Austin? Do you know what the University of Austin is? I've heard of it. Yeah. Barry Weissie's new online school. Is she running it? Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:01:55 Oh, wow. No, no, no, no, no, no. I saw it on Twitter. It's all like the people that have been canceled from the institutions of higher learning are, it's like Lex Friedman and. Tchaikovsky. The Weinsteins and Barry and some of the people. The Weinsteins are involved?

Starting point is 00:02:14 Oh, I mean, come on. Of course. But nuts. Yeah. Some of the people at the University of Austin like me, many do not. Right. I was not approached about the University of Austin. But what would you have liked to have taught?

Starting point is 00:02:26 Well, here's the thing. All the people that I hate, hate the University of Austin. But what's great about me is I'm like kind of an ally of no one really. Right. They don't really want me involved in that either. If they offered you one of those honorary degrees. Yeah. Would you show up to accept?

Starting point is 00:02:45 I want a fellowship. What is a fellowship? I don't know. That's why I want it. I don't know. But I want more than an honorary degree. I want to be able to teach a class. Oh, so you want to be a, yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:56 I believe we can get, we can kind of apply. To be students, to be professors. To be students at the University of Austin. I'm sure we could. Yeah. I don't think you're going to turn our money away. I, wait, what do you mean? It didn't, by the way, it didn't even dawn on me.

Starting point is 00:03:16 There would be money exchange. Like I didn't even think about the idea that there would be like financial. I mean, this is, I think he said it was, I mean, all I saw on Twitter was people sharing like screen caps going like, no, we don't have accreditation. We don't have like, we don't actually offer degrees per se. Well, here's where I will say the University system is, countries is insane. Sure. The amount of money it caused to go to school.

Starting point is 00:03:44 Right. How useless a lot of these degrees are. Sure. And I've talked, you know, all, you know, ad nauseam about the, how corrupt these institutions are in terms of like the teachers raising their own salaries, administrators raising their own salaries, professors, people making a lot of money. They're in league with the government guaranteeing these loans, kids putting themselves in an insane amount of debt.

Starting point is 00:04:14 And it, and a lot of these schools, not all of them, but a lot of them, everything is pretty one sided politically. That's pretty true. I mean, the way I see it off top of my head seems to be like saying like, Hey, the EPA is not great at making sure your water is not poisoned. So just poison, buy some poison water from us. I don't think like it's like, oh, like these degrees are useless. So like, they're no better than us.

Starting point is 00:04:36 It's not an argument to buy your degree. Yeah. I don't think the University of Austin, I don't think it's for people that want degrees where they could actually work. I think it's just people that go, we want to pursue truth. It's skankfest for Brett Weinstein. It's perhaps that. It is.

Starting point is 00:04:50 But it's like people that are going, I want it. It's the dedicated, the mission statement seems to be, it's dedicated to the fearless pursuit of truth. That's the mission statement of it. I'm the higher. Veritas. So now I think it's all online. Can you get your phone or my phone?

Starting point is 00:05:12 We got to look this up because I hate the woke Universities, which we're not even supposed to say woke anymore. What do you mean? Why? Well, we're not supposed to say them. Say the word woke because we're not allowed to say anything anymore. What do you mean? Why?

Starting point is 00:05:29 Because today they just came out with the decree. You know, one of the chicks from the view is like, you can't say woke anymore because it's a dog whistle or whatever. Who knows? Look at that dog whistle. It's just like, why look? Everything is a dog whistle to these people. But I'm saying, I'm no friend of the blue-haired gender studies.

Starting point is 00:05:51 That's more of a dog whistle. What? The blue hair. I think blue hair is more of a dog whistle than woke. What is blue-haired dog whistling? You know, it's just like that kind of like, you know, gender fluid. Yeah, but I'm honest. I hate them.

Starting point is 00:06:05 Sure, but I'm saying they're dumb. I think woke is the most sterile way. I don't care, say both. That's fine. I'm just saying, I'm no friend of these people. Sure. And I kind of support the University of Austin, but it is seemingly a little absurd. What happened to America that got picked between like two groups of hucksters?

Starting point is 00:06:25 That's always been America, I guess. I mean, it's always been America. What do you want to look up here? We got your phone there. The University of Austin. Okay. This is why the show doesn't work without a producer. I want to know how to get in and if we're allowed to get in and what we can do.

Starting point is 00:06:40 Okay. What starts here changes the world? Now let me ask you a question. Yeah. Should we get into the University of Austin? Right. And then start problems immediately. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:52 And like start claiming that we are non-binary and where we were like sexually assaulted. Oh, you mean like as students, we started saying like Heather higher, right? Like we have dust. Well, maybe not her because I don't know how believable that is. Right why I see you. I don't know. Well, who?

Starting point is 00:07:12 Barry Weiss? I don't know. I think that we you got to you to start poking around with not outright rape accusations. Sure. But just little by little. I was misgendered. Well, like little by little, just you play the game a little bit. Just play the game.

Starting point is 00:07:31 I had a microaggression done upon me. Well, they're not playing that game over there. So it's going to have to be the other side. What do you mean? It's going to have we're going to have to start accusing people of being gay. Oh, this is what I mean. Like the other side, right? We're going to have to start accusing people at the University of Austin of like trying

Starting point is 00:07:50 to invite us to secret trans parties. Okay, they're hot. Like they're self hating trans people and they're having these trans parties and they're inviting us to them so they can sexually assault us. What if I start slut shaming? Is that like a viable? No, that day you're going the other way. Like University of Austin is going to be okay with all that.

Starting point is 00:08:09 Do you understand what I mean? You got to go the other way. Conservatives are a weird thing because sometimes they like it when they people fuck, but then, you know, also you get, you call them sluts. We could call them pig whores. Yeah. We could start doing, we could start accusing people of being in a massage. Okay.

Starting point is 00:08:25 You know, when it go down that road, go down that road. Yeah. You killed Diana. We could start getting the Ray shit really crazy. We could go like they're going to be a lot of like racial diversity on the campus. Well, I mean, like we could start pushing into hard right where they're uncomfortable, like to just shape a skull stuff. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:43 You can start pushing it there. Right. Just see how far they'll go. Hey, how big is your lie? Gerbils. What? How big is your big lie? I'm trying to do a Gerbils reference.

Starting point is 00:08:55 Okay. Do that on your own. Hard right. It's a hard, usually hard right. Do that on the show that gets 3000 lessons, please. Five, eight, five to eight. Okay. Tell us how do we can get in here?

Starting point is 00:09:05 Okay. Admissions and aid, undergraduate admissions. Let's see. Welcome to long coordination. What is that? No, this is not it. You're on the real one. Oh.

Starting point is 00:09:14 Ray, you're on the... Ray, there's a real, you know, for Texas A&M like university or like maybe it's not Texas A&M, there's a university in Austin. We're not talking about it. The University of Texas at Austin. Right. We don't mean that. Get on Twitter.

Starting point is 00:09:35 Go to Twitter to the University of Austin. On Twitter. Okay. I'm trying to get into Barry Weiss's college. It's the University of Austin with Lex Friedman and Andrew Sullivan's on it. There's other people. So let's go to Barry Weiss first and then... Yeah.

Starting point is 00:09:55 Yeah, there's a Twitter dedicated to this new college. Is Barry Weiss off Twitter? What the fuck is going on here? Did she block you because you're fat? Maybe. The official Twitter account of Barry. I don't know, 57,000 followers. Does that make sense?

Starting point is 00:10:11 Is this Barry Weiss? What? Look, I don't know what you... What are you talking about? This little guy is Barry Weiss. No, dude. I'm joking. I'm trying to find...

Starting point is 00:10:21 I mean, are you... What do you not follow? Do you... No, I don't follow Barry Weiss. What are you talking about? Why wouldn't you? Why... What's the follow?

Starting point is 00:10:28 Why? Because you don't agree with her? I don't... I follow 400 people. I'm sorry. I should follow more people, I guess. Okay. I have it right here.

Starting point is 00:10:34 Okay. I have the University of Austin right here up. Now... I'm sorry. I saw it on my homepage. All right. But I'm trying to find out... I'm trying to find out what's going on here.

Starting point is 00:10:48 Austin Org. At Austin Org, University of Austin, it's been followed by 10,000 people already. Here it is. Ready? We're done waiting for America's universities to fix themselves. So we're starting a new one. A university dedicated to the pursuit of truth.

Starting point is 00:11:10 The fearless pursuit of truth. Niall Ferguson. Heather Hunt. David Mammet. Joe Lonsdale. Steven Pinker. Lex Friedman. Andrew Sullivan.

Starting point is 00:11:19 Other people. Larry Summers. I think a lot of people. Joe Lonsdale. And Ron? No, he does Palantir. Oh, okay. What if...

Starting point is 00:11:32 What if we're just corporate criminals? Fast out. Andy Fastout. Ken Lay's son in parentheses. But it's the University of Austin. I mean, Dave Portnoy. Yeah, look. Why not?

Starting point is 00:11:51 He could be the gym teacher. It would just be a funny week to announce that he was Dave Portnoy. Is he too toxic for them now? I feel like he's... I don't know. I feel like... Look, I don't know what happened with him, but I feel like he's a better person.

Starting point is 00:12:03 He's... I trust him more than any of these people. I probably do as well. Dave Portnoy, you know, insider, you know, you don't remember this kid that used to work. There was a comic, this kid named... I'm not going to say his name. He used to be a comic.

Starting point is 00:12:16 He quit comedy. Then he started working for Business Insider. He interviewed me a few months ago for like an hour, and the profile never came out. I totally forgot about it. Then he texted me three days before the Portnoy thing came out, or like two days, and he said, listen, the reason it never came out of Business Insider

Starting point is 00:12:35 is they wanted me to run a hit piece on you. You were some like reactionary comedian. Look, I'll say this. I don't... Like, the way they marketed that story... It's crazy. It was insane. I've never seen that.

Starting point is 00:12:46 Like, I mean, people give shit to the tongue. Have you ever seen the times like... Like, promote a particular story and like, like, paygate it? Like, it's... That's the most trashy, like, unrespectable way to like, do anything. Just throw it behind the paywall to me was unconscionable.

Starting point is 00:13:02 Also, when you read the story, there was no crime committed. Right. There was no suggestion of any crime committed. Yeah. There was no suggestion that he abused his power in the workplace. There was no suggestion that he had an inappropriate

Starting point is 00:13:18 relationship with someone that worked for him, or that he had promised someone something. It just seemed very weak. Yeah. No, it didn't look good. Sure. Did not seem like it was really that, you know. And I think we...

Starting point is 00:13:32 I didn't pay for the articles. I didn't see it. When it come... No, but there were screenshots. I didn't pay for it either. Don't imply that I paid for it. You would have more money if you went to the University of Austin. I agree.

Starting point is 00:13:42 Portnoy took a lot of eyeballs. You're in the sports world more than me. He's taken a lot of eyeballs away from people like ESPN and stuff that, you know, probably you're not happy about that. He's an enemy of the New York media. Yeah. I mean, I can't say it's wrong.

Starting point is 00:13:59 I mean, yeah. It seems like that was just logical. I mean, you know, you think it was like fucking Steve Naismith and some of those guys at ESPN? No, I just... I don't think it's those guys. I think that they...

Starting point is 00:14:11 People don't like disruptors. I think Portnoy is a disriding, I'm a disrupter. He's a loudmouth. He detretches. He's not afraid that when Elon Musk was doing shit with the whole AMC thing, he was going after Robin Hood. He's going after this. I mean, he's not afraid to rattle cages.

Starting point is 00:14:28 And so the idea that someone would be like, the idea that someone would retaliate and this wouldn't surprise me. It's the same thing as like what we've done and what I've done with podcasting. It's like, I don't set out to, you know, do anything other than make people laugh, but people end up getting angry.

Starting point is 00:14:47 And then the show's done really well. So a lot of these New York media types hate me too because they're broke and they don't have anybody following them. And I have all these people following what I do. And I think Portnoy is in a similar position. I mean, look, it definitely seems, Business Insider has done nothing to make me think it's credible. That, you know, I, I, I, there's nothing like,

Starting point is 00:15:09 I love that they changed the name from Business Insider to just Insider where they're like, when that happened recently, they're basically like, no, it was a couple of months ago. But they're, they're basically like, no, we're a tabloid. Yeah. Like Insider edition. Yeah. We're like, we're a tabloid. Yeah. I mean, was Business Insider ever a legit mag?

Starting point is 00:15:26 I have no idea. The guy that started it is like a disgraced guy who's banned from trading. Oh, really? And Portnoy's going at him on Twitter all day. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't, look. Portnoy's a scrappy guy. People want to see him fight.

Starting point is 00:15:40 They want to see him in a corner fighting. And you watch that video of him with Michael, Michael Rappaport was suing him and over that shirt he made. And then the lawyer was giving them shit. And he's just talking shit to the lawyer. You don't give a fuck. He doesn't care. He's a Boston guy, you know?

Starting point is 00:15:56 Yeah. He's got money. Yeah. He doesn't give a fuck. Why make the money if you're not, if you can take shit from lawyers? That's a great point. Yeah. Come on down to the university at Austin.

Starting point is 00:16:06 Will this have a physical campus? They, they, they, they, they, they want some screenshot about like how we don't really necessarily believe in. Oh, no, they do want physical space. They like the idea of it. Yeah. Well, you need a brick and mortar. Yeah. I mean, it's going to be like a little Caesar's. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:24 No, it's going to be like an H and R block. Yeah. I mean, you're going to need a brick and mortar. Sure. Yeah. For tax purposes. For sure. No, there should be like a quad where people can hang out. We have the alley next to the little Caesar's.

Starting point is 00:16:39 Yeah. They're going to have to have security because Antifa is going to probably visit that campus. I mean, look, here's the reality. No other people you mentioned, they'll have some money. They don't have endowment money. They don't have that kind of money. So who's going to bankroll this?

Starting point is 00:16:52 It's a great point. I mean, PragerU, they seem to be bankrolled by like some kind of, you know, I mean the megachurches or whoever. I mean, I'm not sure who. And also, are they even a brick and mortar situation? I don't think PragerU is a real you. But I'm saying it seems like a more legitimate set than whatever this is going to be.

Starting point is 00:17:09 Perhaps. But I don't think that is PragerU. Do you think anyone's going to say I went to PragerU? Nobody's walking into a job interview going, hey, I went to PragerU. I'm sure in certain areas of the Bible, Bell, that makes me. The guy who started my school is talking about how he wanted to contract COVID.

Starting point is 00:17:26 Remember that? Dennis Prager was like, I wanted to get it. I was hugging people and I finally got it. Now I'm happy to have it. The Lord blessed me. Yeah. It's a little crazy, but I'm telling you right now, it's getting, I was, I'm vaccinated.

Starting point is 00:17:40 What is your feeling on the booster? Look, at this point, you know, I don't think they waited for the booster to kill me. In the worst case, I understand. But like, at a certain point, it's like, I have, I have had it. I have antibodies. I'm a little wary of just continuing to just put COVID in. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:18:01 Look, I mean, I don't know if it was an indefinite, I totally get that logic and I'm not like, I don't necessarily agree with the mandates or anything like that. Me particularly, I'm not on the cover of men's health this month. You know, so I might, you know, go one more booster. One more. Tied me over for the winter. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:18:20 A booster for the winter. I got to think about it. I think I have the antibodies from actually having it. I don't, I don't want the booster. I don't want to keep putting this in my body. I don't know if there's any real downside to that. Well, I don't know either, but there isn't either. Nobody's going to know.

Starting point is 00:18:37 Yeah. The problem is no one's going to know. Yeah. I mean, there's a downside to the young people getting myocarditis whose hearts are getting inflamed. A lot of people get myocarditis. What are you talking about? That's such a Pfizer response. Hey, hey, there's a guy in an office. Hey, a lot of people get myocarditis.

Starting point is 00:18:56 Shut the door. Shut the door. Yeah, but there, people are losing their minds. I mean, you know, I'm backstage getting ready to go out and do a show in DC. Everybody had to show their Vax cards to get in. And then these people are coming up to me going, you got to have your mask on if you're not in the green room.

Starting point is 00:19:14 And it's like, something's going on here. So people are going to get boosters and still keep their masks on. So explain to me what's going on when, is it just going to be mask forever and boosters forever? Because I'm not doing that. And I think most Americans that are rational people don't want to do that.

Starting point is 00:19:38 I think they got six months left of where I could even like pretend like six months. I'm saying of like, look, I'm not saying six months of being wearing a mask all the time. I'm saying, I thought you were like, they got six boosters left. If you can't cure me with five more boosters, including this one, listen to me, six boosters left.

Starting point is 00:20:00 That's it. I'm saying this in six months, where we're going to be, where we're going to be. It's like, we're not going to fix this. But why aren't we there now? Uh, there was a lot of resist. Look, these are all narratives working out, right? So the level of the cases are not high.

Starting point is 00:20:19 I don't look at case numbers. But I don't know the problem. Are they not high? I don't know. They're not high. They're like kind of high in Colorado, weirdly. Okay. And then they keep saying like,

Starting point is 00:20:32 Europe's experiencing more cases than you look at. It's like 200. But here's my thinking. And I'm not saying that anyone should, you know, I'm not being skeptical. But it's like, you know, it's going to get worse in the winter. It always does. So like the next spring is going to fall out.

Starting point is 00:20:48 It's going to get better. And then that's kind of where we're going to be, in my opinion. But that's what we thought last spring. No, I was to doubt of it. I'm not saying what's going to change. I'm not predicting what's going to happen. I'm saying from my perspective. I understand.

Starting point is 00:21:00 But we're two cycles of that line of thinking not working out. Well, the first cycle was very contentious. And then the second cycle, is it getting less contentious? No, but look, here's the thing. Here's the way I look at it is, regardless of whether you agree with the vaccine or not, there was a legitimate reason for them to go. We need a vaccine.

Starting point is 00:21:18 Sure. We need a vaccine. Hey, we're going to try to push this out. We're going to try even with the desperation mandate. All right. Give it a shot. See, maybe people will just take it fine. You made your play, right?

Starting point is 00:21:30 Now it didn't work out. It's like a movie that failed. It's like, you know, someone John Carter came out or back in Disney and a bomb didn't keep releasing the trailer for John Carter. Yeah. You know, so it's like, where's the shot? Just keep putting the trailer.

Starting point is 00:21:46 Maybe it'll excite them again. Right. Now, what was John Carter? Why did that bomb so bad? It was based on a story called John Carter from Mars. It was a bad man who went to Mars or came from Mars. What year was this? 2010, I think.

Starting point is 00:22:00 Yeah. It was a real big bomb for them. It was before they bought the Avengers, I think. So yeah, there's part of me, though, that I'm getting a little sick of it. And I don't think I've got six months left in me. No, I'm saying for me. I've always been a little more like, look,

Starting point is 00:22:15 I don't think it's going to poison me. There is a virus. So I'm just like, but I'm saying in six months. Here's what I'm saying. In six months, I'll start going out like, this has got to stop. We're like, I'm not quite there yet. I'm like, look, because like he's like, a lot of people yelling at each other.

Starting point is 00:22:33 And like, if you give them the benefit of the doubt, the CDC makes them fucked up, you know, calls. Yeah. But like they tried. I just think they're dup. Yeah, but that's not what they're doing. Look, I think they're doubling down on something they know doesn't work.

Starting point is 00:22:48 I don't think this is work. Look, I don't think they know it doesn't work. I think it's like, look. But it hasn't worked. It fades away after a while. But it doesn't work when you get it. It doesn't work. I know you got it.

Starting point is 00:22:58 Look, they keep saying the breakaway case or breakthrough cases or like, rarer than like, you know, it's wrong. Like you, I know some people got it, but also everyone that got it has been back like a lot of people. A lot of them are plenty of them. They've switched to narrative now from breakthrough cases or rarer than they're not rare.

Starting point is 00:23:16 I don't think they did that. Yes, they did. Really? Yes. I don't know what you want me to do. You want me to get a pitchfork now? I'm telling you in six months I got a pitchfork. Why do I need to get a pitchfork now?

Starting point is 00:23:30 I'm trying to be the reasonable guy. But it's not reasonable. You're sounding like a crazy person and I'm kind of sounding like a lunatic. I'm saying to you, look, we'll fight the government in six months. You want six months to just get in shape? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:23:45 You're like, I need to boot camp in six months. I can't do it. I guess I've been doing the, on the switch, I've been building a dance game. What is that? They have a game where you hold the joy con and you just dance around and follow the motions. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:23:58 Trying to get some action. What is that? Are you sitting? No, I'm standing. I'm moving around. You can tell how you're moving. It's called just dance. On the Nintendo switch.

Starting point is 00:24:08 Yeah. So I'm spinning around my apartment. Well, that's dangerous as well. Sure. But you know, I may look a little in shape a little bit. Yeah. And you say you're just spinning around dancing. Do you choose the music?

Starting point is 00:24:20 They have popular songs. I was dancing to something. It was like the weekend. Well, this is what you do instead of the booster. You don't need the booster. You need this game. And you just dance around your apartment. You shed the pounds.

Starting point is 00:24:33 They have the weird little hoop with a fitness switch, fitness thing. But I was afraid the hoop wouldn't go around my stomach. Because it was like put it like a hula hoop or something. You've always been an interesting fatalist. Like you're an interesting fatalist. Like I have all these weird like I'm a hypochondriac. I'll get MRIs I don't need.

Starting point is 00:24:51 Like I'm a weirdo like that. You do have an interesting element. And I respect it. I want to be more like it. The fatalism. Like what will it be? Will it be? Kind of.

Starting point is 00:25:01 Yeah. I just feel like things are simpler a lot of the time. Like they make a big fuss for Kennedy when they want to kill him. 9-11. No, no, no. I don't mean conspiracy theories. I mean like with health. You're not a guy that's like panicked about.

Starting point is 00:25:19 That should be. Well, sure. No, no, no. Well, that's I agree. That's kind of the question. It's like. Well, the interesting thing with you is like you're panicked about all the wrong things too.

Starting point is 00:25:28 You admit that. Like you're panicked about like, you know, a rash when you should be getting in shape. Yes, I agree. So it's like, yeah, I don't worry about if I'm going to get cancer, I'm going to get cancer. Right. That's how I view life.

Starting point is 00:25:38 Yeah. We're going to go with doctor. And like have them check me out. Probably. They don't look. People get cancer all the time. My mom had cancer. She survived.

Starting point is 00:25:48 But like five doctors told her she didn't have it. And she was persistent. It's a good point. You know, like, I mean, I'm. What kind of cancer did she have? I'll go varying. You know, my point is like I'm not that. I love just the idea of that because I've heard that story

Starting point is 00:26:00 from many other people. We're literally it's it's the most demoralizing thing. Yeah. And you know, it's these fucks don't want to pay. They just want them to drop dead. Right. And like literally like people at your mother and people that I've met literally have to go and go.

Starting point is 00:26:13 No, I'm telling you, I have cancer. I'm bleeding. I'm telling you it's cancer. I googled it myself. It's cancer. I did years ago. I had a scar or whatever because I thought my balls were lumpy. So I went through a urology.

Starting point is 00:26:29 Oh, first I went through my GP and then he told me first go to get a sonogram done. So some woman just rub jelly on me and start scanning my balls. I go to the urologist. He just grabbed my balls and like he and I said, look, I got a sonogram done. Did they say they didn't send me shit. He just gripped my balls and he said I was just swirling glands.

Starting point is 00:26:50 But for all I know, I've had testicular cancer for 15 years and this is growing. Right. And I tried. I went and I was told I was an idiot. He looked at me like I was a fucking moron. That's a good point. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:03 But do you know why? Because none of these doctors were educated at the University of Austin. That's a fair point. And things are going to change. They're blinded by the woke. Things are going to change. The Long Island.

Starting point is 00:27:17 Fucking. That should be the fucking thing. The teams are blinded by the woke. Blinded by the woke. Just Lex Friedman and Barry Weiser. Binding symbols together. Blinded. Jordan Peterson.

Starting point is 00:27:34 Blinded by the woke. Is he on board or is he the outcast now? I don't think he is on board. He's the old look. It's a weird thing. He's like the only one that like he's like the star of the bunch. He went the furthest down the crazy rabbit hole. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:48 But also it's still somehow the by far the most respectable. For sure. It's like so great. Like I mean he went to a Moscow prison wherever it was. Yeah. And whatever. I mean it's all well documented. But still like when Brett Weinstein's fucking you know

Starting point is 00:28:02 shilling his like you know anti-vaxx not whatever he's doing. It's just it's just like yeah I mean I'll listen to Jordan any day. Jordan seems to be the most intellectually sound of that crew. I guess Harris is a neuroscientist. But I just he was always you know. But there is a problem in academia right. So how do you deal with it. Because everybody in academia has lost their minds.

Starting point is 00:28:28 You get real accusing. Everyone's talking about like student loan forgiveness. Yeah. Which like I'm not going to go into debate. I do take the people on Twitter who go like oh I paid off my student loans. What the fuck. Like you know I'm screwed. You also which you got screwed to everyone else get screwed.

Starting point is 00:28:44 That's the worst response. Anything like this you have to like you can't just like wipe out 70 grand of someone's debt and the guy who paid it off gets fucked. Like it's just it's just not because society can't work that way. Especially if the people whose debt you're wiping off are actually wealthy people. Whereas that guy is a blue collar guy sure that either paid his own debt back or didn't go to college and got a job as a carpenter. Oh yeah that too yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:09 That being said so maybe you do that. Well I don't know we figured that out. But what really needs to happen is to stop student loans at all. Right. Because that's it's just like health insurance. That's what causes this like this spigot of like price going up. Because like it's like even now everyone's aware. I mean I guess less kids are probably going to college or who knows though.

Starting point is 00:29:30 Because like either way it's like well I guess I'll just when you're not when you're 19 or 18 you'll just defer. You go look I mean excuse me I'll be one of the lucky ones. Well you go by the time I get out of here I'm gonna have a great job. Right. I'll be paying back. Everyone's telling you it's not the case but you're like well these people are morons. I mean if you don't go to Harvard or MIT it's like pointless.

Starting point is 00:29:52 Right. You I mean you'll get a job. You'll need a college degree to work at Burger King for some reason. But they do crazy jobs require college education. But the only ones who actually make real money now are like you know top level Ivy League stuff. So you just wipe out these student loans. You got to get rid of the system that allows these universities to build these kids out of money.

Starting point is 00:30:15 Right. Which is the Sally Mae. Yeah. Shit. It's it's an endless spigot that like is your there's no incentive to like keep it competitive. If they had to worry about what people could actually afford they would have to keep it in line. And why do these campuses need I didn't go away to school. I would like to.

Starting point is 00:30:35 It seems nice but that being said like how about you just go to a state school local community colleges. Why do we need to go away. Well have this experience. It's a false experience culture. Yeah. Who some people say occasionally is racist. Made a point that college is just an IQ test.

Starting point is 00:30:54 So instead of your employer giving you an IQ test they're saying where did you go to college. This was the end culture's point the other day and she was talking on Andrew Sullivan's thing. And what she was basically saying is you endure the four years of college because they've outlawed the ability of an employer to give you an IQ test. I don't know if that's true or not. I mean it's pretty reductive and no it's not. I mean there's might be some truth to it but like here but here's my overall point. My overall point is this like ignore the specifics per se of that example.

Starting point is 00:31:23 Sure. I do believe that there doesn't there seems to be like there should be a way for an employer to decide if they want to employ you. That doesn't involve you waving a piece of paper that says you went somewhere for four years. And I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's an IQ test. I don't know what it is. But there should be some measure of your ability because that's what college is.

Starting point is 00:31:48 College is job security for people and you should be able to say hey I'm competent smart. I'll work hard. I'm this. I'm that. I think most people who go to college depends on what you study like engineering. Yeah you need to go right and science type stuff. Sure. But a lot of stuff where like you could do it like programmers or like you know post production

Starting point is 00:32:10 like video stuff and like and film stuff. A lot of people like me who've done or worse at it they're actually like they're not the people who have like what about the University of Austin College of Crypto like it's one of the colleges with the University of Austin that's one that's like being a doctor. So yeah you should go to college with that's the College of Crypto. It's like NFT University. Why don't you think because I fully believe that if I went to college right I would have had a completely different life.

Starting point is 00:32:39 If I want to wait if I want to wait at college it's one of the biggest regrets I well let's be real. Yeah you know we know how your 20s went. Why don't you do discount the idea that you would have just like partied your way out of the first year college. I don't think that I would have been as influenced and as you know I don't think I would have started doing coke with a bunch of mortgage guys if I was going to a liberal art school. Yeah but you started doing coke when you were 13.

Starting point is 00:33:02 Yeah but I would do it on and off but like a lot of the heavy periods of time you're doing it with other people that are doing it and I'm not saying that it's impossible that that would have happened but like had I been influenced by a bunch of people that were just like we smoke weed we do this we do that this is what we do we drink. I think a college experience I would have come out of the closet sooner. I wouldn't be a comedian. I wouldn't be funny because I wouldn't have had to be. I would probably learned how to live earlier if I learned how to live.

Starting point is 00:33:31 Are you discounting all of this. Are you saying that if you had gone away to college you don't think you would be a different man on a different path. I might have gotten better women earlier on I don't know. Well you've gotten some lovely women. I have look I'm doing fine so I'm not complaining. The woman that you went to went to the we're not going to rehash the story but when you went to the Flanders duck in Long Island and he brought that woman Arby's and she kept calling

Starting point is 00:34:03 her roommate Carl right and the girl and she was a girl. Yeah she caught kept calling her female roommate. Oh the right thing joke they had I think they're off duty prostitutes. Right which I think they were on duty prostitutes. They asked you for money. They asked you for Arby's. Yes well that's listen. Yeah point is this you don't think that you would have had a better.

Starting point is 00:34:24 I don't know if it's better but it would have been different. Well the point I was making was I look back and go I probably were a fucking lazied my way out of the first year of college like it basically did. I mean I went to like local like community college for years and like barely went to class. What do you mean you went for years. I went for like the Suffolk for like a bunch of years. I did too. I'd go in and out of NASA.

Starting point is 00:34:45 Right and you didn't like it. Why didn't you like your son. Here's I enjoy parts. I remember you like my legal knowledge a lot of it comes from I have a paralegal. The question so many people have for you is that you're so intelligent. Right. But you'd never liked schooling. It's very interesting to find someone as smart as you that never liked schooling.

Starting point is 00:35:05 Here's what it is. I'm smart. I know I'm smart. I know how smart I'm not. I'm smart enough to be bored by the beginning of a class and not smart enough to not need to pay attention to like throughout the class. Right. Like oh this is boring.

Starting point is 00:35:22 And I tune out right and then like and there are some people who like yeah when the test comes like yeah I'm a math genius. I'm not that guy. I'm like oh I should have paid attention like two-thirds of the way through. But it's even bigger than that because you never fell. It's a pattern I have. Well you just never fell in love with the institutions of learning. Like I was very skeptical of professors.

Starting point is 00:35:43 I called if I didn't outright call bullshit. It's so weird because you've made me out to be this right wing lunatic but like. No I haven't. When. Yes you have. When you say that you were skeptical of professors. Why. Because they're teaching at a community college.

Starting point is 00:35:59 Yeah. It's an arch. Well I agree with you. It's the archetype of person that would become a professor. Right. You know and and you know at a community college. You know I like I mean I was always. I mean I've had some of the worst.

Starting point is 00:36:11 I've been one of my dad used to say like those who can do and those who can't teach. It's a hack thing. But you know it's like. It's not a hack. It's true. It's true. But I mean I had a public like I mean we had one class called. I forget what it was called.

Starting point is 00:36:23 It was called. It was like a communications class. It was like a speech class. Right. And the professor's name was like Professor Gullionello. And she was just like he was like she was just an Italian. And she would come in with like you know those boots. Those Long Island boots that like.

Starting point is 00:36:39 They go up to your knees and you can scrunch them down. They're weird. They look like witch hats those. Right. And she would walk in every day and she'd be like her whole thing when she'd be like she'd be like and if you plagiarize I will know. Like she would just spend like 10 minutes threatening the class about what would happen. She would just tell stories.

Starting point is 00:37:00 She'd be like had this girl she plagiarized the whole thing. And she thought I would know. Well I knew. And this was the caliber of person you would get teaching at community college. I'm a high school teacher. I was an English teacher. Very very fat guy. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:37:18 And he used to rest his like hands his little hands on his big fat stomach. Yeah. And he was telling us once because he also got a community college teacher. And he was telling for no reason. I don't even know why he burned up. But like this girl tried to you know failed the final and she offered me sexual favors. And I had to tell her no. It was like what what is going.

Starting point is 00:37:40 Why are you telling us? Yeah. He wants he wants other people. Oh yeah. He's putting the seat. He's putting it out there. Yeah. No it I just I was never excited by I think part of it was my sexuality.

Starting point is 00:37:54 I felt like if I went to college I would be forced to confront who I was instead of being able to just kind of like make a lot of money in the private world and lie my way through life. Right. Which was the plan up until I turned 25. This is over an hour. What like what you realize this is I can't imagine like I don't think. But I could have been a lot of different things. That's not true.

Starting point is 00:38:18 I believe so. You don't think so. You could become different things. But this is the most wrong version of you. Perhaps. Like like I could be like this is me I could be less fat. But I'm basically who I'm supposed to be. That's true.

Starting point is 00:38:31 You know it's like I'm not like yeah you could have like all the other versions would have been like false avatars or whatever like you in a business environment or you in an academic environment. Perhaps I just like to play around with the ideas of you know life going another way. Yeah. Look I mean the past is the past and. Is it. Is the past. Is it or is everything available at the University of Austin.

Starting point is 00:39:01 I don't know. Wait is all this because Rogan just moved to Austin. Why is it the University of Austin. What is this craziness. I don't know. Let's address that for a minute. What in God's name is this. I know Lonzel lives there and Friedman might and wrote like what is this.

Starting point is 00:39:19 Why are we constantly jerking off Austin. Musk is also there and they're trying to get on that train. Okay. Yes. That's kind of what it does seem like. Musk got a lot of money. People are trying to. That's a good point.

Starting point is 00:39:31 They're seeing how somehow this relates to what he's doing. Kids. Look I'm assuming that Tesla hires people sometimes at MIT. Right. RIT is also a good school. Things like that. Way too much hires. No one from the University of Austin.

Starting point is 00:39:48 Well my point is this. But there's going to be a class of people who don't do that well in school. High school. And they go to the parents. Look Tesla's Musk is there. You sent me to the University of Austin. I spent a couple of years networking meeting these guys at bars. Doing coke in the gas station with them.

Starting point is 00:40:07 I get a connection. There's a lot of ways to skin this calf. That's right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I just play around with the idea that if I had gone to college I would have had maybe a little bit of a different life.

Starting point is 00:40:20 You never. You never do that. You never look back and go what could have been. Look I think about I don't. What? I'm not a regret driven person. No I should. Like you can argue I'm the biggest candidate of regret.

Starting point is 00:40:34 I don't believe you're the biggest candidate of regret. True. Okay. This is crazy thing to say. But let's for a minute speculate. Think about an alternative life. Yeah. What would describe it.

Starting point is 00:40:46 Um. Visualize it. You know I applied to SUNY Purchase for the film program. Okay. But it was hard. I didn't realize how it was more competitive in NYU. I didn't get into the film program. That seems insane but.

Starting point is 00:40:58 It was like it was less people. There's less spots you know. Um. But let's walk it out. Point is they did offer like you can go to regular school. We'll accept you into the school. Because I had to go to like an extra interview for the conservatory. And you said no.

Starting point is 00:41:12 I was like look I wanted to do film. You said hey fuck you. So I went to Hofstra for a year for film. Bad. Bad bad bad. Bad move. So your whole thing is why don't you stay home. But staying home is horrible usually.

Starting point is 00:41:24 It wasn't great. I didn't have a job. It's not a good idea. No it wasn't great. I think about that. I think about. Here's why this is let me let me let me break it down for you. In Long Island this is why you can't live at home.

Starting point is 00:41:36 Your parents want you to fail. This is the reality. Your parents in Long Island are deeply invested in creating an environment that makes it more likely that you will fail. Right. Truly. I wasn't allowed to go to my dad's car insurance. Because I wanted to have a signed risk.

Starting point is 00:41:52 Yes. 500 a month is crazy. They want you to die and fail. Listen. If I asked if I asked to take like a car to the library to print something out for school. My dad would be like you get to get in that car and you're going to kill someone. They're going to sue. They're going to take the house.

Starting point is 00:42:13 They're going to like there's there's just this idea that leaving your home is essential. Because then your parents who've spent their entire lives just trying to destroy you knowingly or unknowingly can't affect you as much. Right. That's the way I look at it. I agree. Look I mean I think my parents are less had it for me less than yours but like. I don't think they helped you.

Starting point is 00:42:40 They bent well. Sure. And I mean I don't think they hurt. I don't think they hurt you. I don't think they were like I've heard no evidence that they were hurting you. But I don't overprotective in a lot of ways. Yes. But there was there was I was kept in a bubble to a certain extent.

Starting point is 00:42:57 I believe it's way too way late of an age. I'm just saying from what I know about your history it could have went better. Sure. It could have went better. No it's all. Look maybe I was shooting you know a little if I went away to school I wouldn't have had to have a car and sit in traffic on the way to Hempstead every day. That's right.

Starting point is 00:43:16 Yeah I probably wouldn't have like I mean the first year of school at Hofstra I spent a lot of time just going to the video library. They had this weird little room with 13 inch TVs with the combo VCR. I spent and I would watch anime. Most of my first year of school smoking weed on the top level of the national community I'm sorry that the Roosevelt Field Mall the top level of their parking structure with a kid named Kenny and another kid named buns. And then we would get the ranch one chicken and cheese.

Starting point is 00:43:47 Right. Amazing. I would. Amazing. Instead of going to the class of Suffolk I would go to Costco and eat the food court. Yes I mean you eat the whole food court. I would chicken the chicken bacon some pizza. This is what I mean about those are our comfort zones.

Starting point is 00:44:03 Yeah. That was your comfort Costco was your comfort zone. That's where you were home. Right. You felt like you were home when you ate that chicken bank when you walked into Costco without a family without anyone to feed without any type of list of groceries to get. And you sat down in the middle of the day and ate a chicken bank. You were home.

Starting point is 00:44:24 Don't forget like you have to like show your ID. No I had a membership. Yeah. Oh actually I didn't even but I would just be lying until the exit when people are watching you and then go I'm just going to the food court. They were just like I was just like mush past them. Yeah. So I was what is the Costco chicken bank.

Starting point is 00:44:42 It's it's like a paste like a hot pocket with chicken like a chicken pot pie the hot What I mean about this is this is not the college experience. You see what I mean. Yeah. Me getting high on the top level of a mall parking structure and you eating a chicken bake at Costco. Right. We're not growing in anything socially intellectually spiritually.

Starting point is 00:45:09 I mean I was listening to audiobooks at the time. It isn't don't I had such regret. I had a friend I had a best friend once named Joe. Clark. We're not that friendly anymore. We talked when I was living in Palm Springs. Sure. We chatted briefly and I wasn't like his brother died tragically in a car accident.

Starting point is 00:45:28 I wasn't really there for him but like I came out of the closet. He kind of wasn't there for me like we were just not you just grow apart. Right. That's what we have here behind this door. It's Joe. But what my point was that he went from natural community college to Cornell which was a good big step. It's a big step.

Starting point is 00:45:54 Yeah. And I went into the mortgage industry and I had such pangs of regret and I felt so insecure right that he was at Cornell and I was a fucking loser that he was able to now now let's be honest. I think I think you know it's I think I've evened it out quite a bit and then some but and then some let's let's be honest a little bit. He's just a lawyer. Right. You know what I mean.

Starting point is 00:46:22 Fuck Joe. Fuck him. He's just a lawyer and I and I know the vast majority of the staff at the University of Austin that being said I still love Joe. I'd like to be close with him more. But she's an interesting little guy. But the point is that didn't you ever feel inferior because you didn't go to school. No.

Starting point is 00:46:45 I always had a over inflated perhaps sense of like I would listen. I would be like cutting class at the Costco but listening to the Walt of Nations on audiobook. So it's like you know that's this is why you're fascinating to let's get let's almost delve into this because this is truly fascinating. It's amazing. It's it's almost like if there was a character that summed up to the decline of the American Empire. Okay.

Starting point is 00:47:14 You're in a Costco that you shouldn't be in. You're not feeding a family. You're listening to the wealth of nations audiobook which probably pertains to something you're learning and you're interested in things you're interested in the why this all works the way it does. Why does this 10 gallon jar mayonnaise. How does this work. What's the markup division of labor.

Starting point is 00:47:36 All of that. Now you yet don't apply that knowledge. It's so interesting to me. That's the fascinating thing about you. I always had grandiose but you're brilliantly funny. Thank you. And I here's a part of the problem. I always had grandiose like people when I was making movies I have a few failed feature

Starting point is 00:47:57 link films and people go why'd you make a short movie. I can't sell a short film. Now you'd be fair. YouTube wasn't really around back then. So like now it seemed common sense to make a little short. When were you making them. Right around the Iraq war. But it was around.

Starting point is 00:48:12 No. You do have like a 506. Okay. Which is kind of when I was kind of starting to wrap that up. Gotcha. Yeah. It just missed a YouTube train. I mean it was like something called Adam films.

Starting point is 00:48:21 You could have done stuff. But I felt to be critical of myself. I felt like I was too good to make short films or like it didn't appeal to me. So I'm trying to make I'm trying to wrangle people. I'm not paying with no money and like back to get on a couple of credit cards to make like a two like a nine and a half movie which is insanely even if everything goes well then it's even going to be good. But logistics even getting it done like so that's the kind of thing I did a lot.

Starting point is 00:48:45 I had these grandiose ideas instead of just putting the work in and like you know and learning over time like you know I'm reading the world of nations instead of like you know going to economics class. I'm fucking you know it's like I did get my shoot together at one point and doing paralegal stuff and stuff. If you had graduated. I got into Stony Brook. I went there for a semester.

Starting point is 00:49:04 Interesting. And then I just stopped going to class to become a photographer. If you like to SUNY Purchase. Yeah. I feel like yeah I agree. What is the version of you that you think would have been a filmmaker? If things just went well what do you mean? Like like I think of myself and I say I could say the version of me that's successful in

Starting point is 00:49:27 business is not a happy version of me. Sure. But it's a version of me that I can I can approximate. Like I can draw lines around and go that's what it would kind of look and feel like. What is the version of you that's that like went the film route? I tried to. Right. I mean like you mean like went to film school.

Starting point is 00:49:48 I just did like I went to Hofstra. I was he's part of the problem with me. I'm really bad at like little things. Yes. Like showing up on time to meet with your advisor to get classes before they close out. I didn't do it. I'm a freshman year and then like you know before freshman year and then like in my you know it was funny.

Starting point is 00:50:07 Yeah. So basically by the time I met my advisor and I got around to it then they keep telling keep going. I'm like fire. It'll be fine. And like and like I can finally meet with them. Big idea guy. Well yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:17 I finally meet with them. He's like well you didn't do any film classes your first year. Right. You probably won't do it your second year. Maybe your third year. And I'm like well fuck this. Right. When I went to the national community college advisor and you would sit down and he'd

Starting point is 00:50:29 like I'm like I'd like this class because that's full. Yeah. Because you have to go to this class. You have to go to that class. Why was it full because you didn't show up on time. I didn't show up on time. Yeah. Because I was out there doing drugs.

Starting point is 00:50:41 Yeah. Yeah. Same idea. So it's like you know I never learned self-discipline in a cohesive way. Do you think people like us had we learned self-discipline it would have hindered the type of things that we do. Like if I had learned self-discipline I was able to discipline myself. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:00 Would I have done would I have been what I am. No. No. Right. Your entire existence right now. Correct. And it was a great existence. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:08 Well it's fine. It's not that great. Well. I have material things. Yes. Right. I love some material things. You'll get some.

Starting point is 00:51:15 Yeah. But then you realize they don't matter. I know. I want to realize that. Yeah. The point is the point is like but whatever you have is like it's based on your kind of whirling dervish kind of like you're always floating around you're mercurial you change on the dime.

Starting point is 00:51:32 It's what makes you funny. It's part of it's part of the package but if you were sitting around like you know and like you know no we got like you're like you're spontaneous you're you can be erratic these are the things that may like I sit there and I look and compare me to you like and I'm not like a big pussy or anything but I'll fucking because they're going like oh you're freaking me if I do this I'm gonna get canceled. I don't actually think it out my head but there is that less I'm like I like to think of myself as a crazy man and start yelling at someone.

Starting point is 00:52:01 I do start yelling at people at stores. I try to get into fights sometimes but like I'm not as like free. Yeah. I do for instance. Right. I'm more free and I don't yell at people at stores usually. I don't think there's I've yelled at a few people at stores but there's not much I don't mean like clerks I mean like other customers.

Starting point is 00:52:21 Right. No no it's accused but see even then when you're making that distinction you're afraid of getting canceled by some Marxists who's like you're you're yelling at the proletariat or whatever the and you're like no I'm actually yelling at other. I started screaming at an old woman once because she was giving shit to the guy at the post office. Yeah. And I just started saying I started screaming shut the fuck. And she's like yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:42 Yeah. She's on the other side. I'm like no you fucking bitch stop talking to him. And I started screaming losing my mind. Yeah. What is this? Is this scene out of the grapes or wraps? Who's this for?

Starting point is 00:52:52 At one time I saw this cop beating the guy and I got in between him. I don't think I sound great yelling like you should get cancer with an old woman. No. What I'm saying is like what I'm just elderly. I just like to play around with the idea of like perhaps it could have went differently. That's all. Sure. These could have gone differently.

Starting point is 00:53:14 But I got Lucy. I'm like no that's great. I'm happy. And I told you I got the podcast. I think you should move to Austin. Things are we're make I'm making moves to do that. I have said nothing but positive things. Sure.

Starting point is 00:53:28 Look I've never you were like the ambassador Austin. I love it. Yeah. I like the two restaurants and the university. Yeah. The university. Do they have like a pizza hut? Yes.

Starting point is 00:53:42 They have all of that. Here's the thing. You would kind of fit in. Sure. Because. There's a lot of homeless there. That's a big part of it. But more than just aesthetically.

Starting point is 00:53:53 Right. You could get into the life that even it would be harder for me to get into of like hunting and woodworking. Oh I would like that. Do they actually have that there? Oh you can do it. Okay. I thought they didn't really do that there.

Starting point is 00:54:05 No. You if you live out where I'm telling you to live 20 minutes out 20 minutes out. I'm telling you the hunting and the craft. Maybe. I don't get involved. But the point is like. We should fish sometime. No.

Starting point is 00:54:18 Maybe. Go to Florida. Yeah. They do that in Texas. I don't like lakes. Sure. What are we doing? But my point is like there is a life that you that you might like.

Starting point is 00:54:30 Yeah. Look I like the outdoors. I would the idea of it. I'm an eagle scout. That's true. Yeah. I have a fishing mirror badge or woodworking mirror. I'm stacked with mirror badges.

Starting point is 00:54:39 So it's like. I just don't think this. I don't think we should dismiss this University of Washington because maybe there's a world where we go back to college and become the things we were meant to be. Where Barry Weiss accepts us into our bosom and embraces us. Can you picture a moment where me and you were getting diplomas and Barry Weiss is softly crying.

Starting point is 00:55:03 Looking at us because she's so proud. Right. What are we majoring in? Who cares? Do you think they're going to ask that? Do you think that's what this is about? We're majoring in the fearless pursuit of truth. Have you not paid attention?

Starting point is 00:55:16 I was like a YouTube seminar. What happened? I had to get good at it. David Dobrik's teaching how to fucking not write. You're in a philosophy class and saying make sure you cut clips and add subtitles and put them on Twitter. Right. Listen.

Starting point is 00:55:33 It's a philosophy subtitling class. You know, we could do like when, like when will Whitney Cummings be found at a bathtub? Like a fondly, you know what I mean? Like fun. Yes. Yes. Alex Warren from Tiktok is asking if Netflix will renew the Hype House show

Starting point is 00:55:52 for a second season by December 20th. Well, it hasn't even premiered, right? But that's a, you know, people can ask anything. You know. Radar online is asking whether Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott will announce a divorce by November 30th. You can play any game you want. Someone's private life.

Starting point is 00:56:14 It's a game. The future of someone's family. It's a game. Everything's fair game on the versus app game. It's fun. It's fun. They're not going to know about it. Mm-mm.

Starting point is 00:56:30 It's fine. It's fine. Will someone's cancer come back? It's on the versus game. It's fun. It's a fun game. You know. Will the American system of government collapse within 36 months?

Starting point is 00:56:49 You can win money with that. You might win money. You might want a few bucks with the versus game. And we're going to do some games. What about, what about you? Maybe people will start asking, well, Ben, leave the show. Well, Ben, quit. Well, yeah, the immediate one is, like, will Ben kill Tim?

Starting point is 00:57:06 Will Ben's wife kill Tim? Well, neither one of you are going to probably kill me, but, you know, it'll be interesting to see what, you know, what YouTube have cooked up. So I mean, just download the versus game. It's very important, you know? There are 7 million people doing this. It's backed by luminaries such as Mark Pincus, Kevin Hart, Will I Am, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Mark Burnett, Josh Richards from Sway House.

Starting point is 00:57:37 Dude, they write Josh Richards from Hypass. He's from Sway House. People are idiots. The Winklevoss twins and Peter Thiel, look at that. Wow. What a crew. We know the Winklevosses. Yes, they, but we're so lovely in that episode.

Starting point is 00:57:49 They gave one word answers for an hour. And they mean Jake Paul, they talk about Ethereum, which was a lot of fun, actually. And Peter Thiel, who started Palantir, and, you know, they're on the up and up. So, you know, versus game, it's a good game. The horrors of the world, you can bet on them now. Instead of trying to fix them or believe that your elected representatives may one day change the laws to make them less likely to happen,

Starting point is 00:58:20 you can bet on things happening, you know? When will we be required to have another COVID booster so we could go outside? How soon will the secret prison start? At what point will the camp roll out happen and who will go in first? These are all fun games to play on the versus app, right until the phone is smacked out of your hand by the military loading you onto a truck. Anyway, versus game, go download it. I wanted to do the guys go fund me, too, that reached out.

Starting point is 00:59:02 Yes, the guy who had the aneurysm. Yeah. Okay. So, can we talk about that? Do you have it? Yep, I got it right here. So, this guy reached out and he wanted to pay for an ad, but of course we're not letting him pay. You know, he's luck. His brother's luck. He had symptoms of an aneurysm. He was able to get a drain.

Starting point is 00:59:20 That's very rare. It's very rare that you have symptoms of something like that before it becomes a, you know, kind of a fatal event of brain aneurysm. And so, the guy's 28 years old. Yeah. So, he said, you know, we don't have any copy. This guy's name is Joshua. Nothing specific to mention other than we need all the help we can get. The final building will likely be hundreds of thousands after.

Starting point is 00:59:41 This fucking, I'm telling you right now, I'm in the healthcare system is so fucking satanic in this country that as much as I hate these lefty fucking weirdos that make you wear the masks, it's like, I just believe that it's such an evil to have a healthcare system that just completely destroys your life because you had a blood vessel pop in your brain. Right. I mean, it's just, it's like disgusting, but that's where we're going to help this guy out. Tell, tell. So, I'll put a link in the description, obviously.

Starting point is 01:00:11 And now this is, what's this guy's name? Kyle Rittenhouse. This guy's name is Nick. Nick. And we're trying to help with the assistance here. We're trying to raise about $60,000 here. It would be good if you guys could donate to this. This guy's a good dude.

Starting point is 01:00:28 He had symptoms of a brain aneurysm. They said he had a massive one and they were able to, he went in for surgery, right? Can you read it, Ben? Yep. So, we are raising money for Nick's medical bills and cost of living while he's not able to work. On the morning of October 27th, he suffered severe symptoms as a sudden increase in body temperature, vomiting, severe headaches. He's only halfway through his battle, a recovery period estimated to last two weeks in the hospital,

Starting point is 01:00:50 at times painful, especially in the beginning. He has health insurance, but will still be responsible for a hefty percentage of his treatment and stay at the hospital. In addition, the cost of living and support, his family is not something that can be put on pause. So, he has kids. He has a family as a whole thing. So, how do we help this guy? I'm going to donate money and I want everybody...

Starting point is 01:01:07 Go fund me. It's a public go fund me. Okay. So, what is the go fund me? Because I want everybody that's listening to this show. If you can, donate some money to this guy. Like, let's really show this guy that we can help him out. I will pin the comment on the YouTube channel and if you're listening on Apple or Spotify,

Starting point is 01:01:23 it'll be in the description at the top above the descriptions. You can't miss it. Yeah. And they want you to roast him, it says here. Which I don't know how you exactly roast the guy. This is what I... We're not doing that. This is, you know, it's like, we're trying to help.

Starting point is 01:01:37 You know what I mean? It's like, I understand what people want. You know, it's never enough, is it? You know, it's like... Here laughter is the best medicine. Yeah. Is it? Well, then don't, we won't give the money.

Starting point is 01:01:47 How about that? No, I'm not going to roast on command here. We're trying to help. Jesus Christ, roast him. I don't know what the funny angle is here about a guy having a brain. You know, I'm sure there is one, but I'm not finding it. I'm trying to help. I love that.

Starting point is 01:02:05 Why don't you roast him? Hey, pig, why don't you dance? Hey, we're going to raise a little bit of money now, okay? How about that? Let's tug at some hard strings. Why don't you let me sell, okay? My brain works. I'll sell.

Starting point is 01:02:21 Anyway, you know, I want to help this guy. We're going to help. We're going to raise money for him, okay? I don't know anything. How am I going to roast him? I don't know anything about him. What am I going to say? Oh, these guys' vessels don't work.

Starting point is 01:02:31 Oh, roast comedy is dumb. It's for dummies, okay? Smarten up, please. Not enough. You try to help people. All you do is get bitten. Everybody just smacks you in the face. It's never enough, you know?

Starting point is 01:02:48 He sent me three emails where he says it would mean the world didn't have to be tossed in the flames by Tim for a moment. By the way, I wonder if this guy's just a dick and wants me to just like roast this guy who had a brain aneurysm. Is this guy like a dick or is he trying to help the guy? No, he sent the receipts on Facebook and stuff to prove he's real and stuff. No, I believe he's real. I don't see what there's anything to roast here.

Starting point is 01:03:14 I don't know what to do. Brain aneurysm, more like what do we do here? You know? This is him. I mean, here's a picture of him if you want to. Got any quick roasts on him? Let me see. I mean, the guy looks young.

Starting point is 01:03:31 It's about as far as the laptop can go right there. Dude, he looks like a kid. He's in his 20s. God, he looks like a young guy, man. Oh, he's got a kid. Now, I'm not in the mood for the roasting folks. I'm not in the mood. Got my own problems.

Starting point is 01:03:46 Roast you guys. Think in a hospital bed. Roast him. No, help him. Give him fucking money. The guy's name is Kyle Rittenhouse. He was experiencing flu like symptoms and a rise in blood. Flu like symptoms and a rise in body temperature.

Starting point is 01:04:06 So he bought a gun with a stimulus check and headed to Kenosha, Wisconsin. Now he's in all kinds of trouble. Go fund me, Kyle Rittenhouse. But they raised a lot of money for the Rittenhouse defense, right? Yes, I believe it was, uh, wasn't it Owen Schreuer that was raising money? Was it after the war? Was it perhaps?

Starting point is 01:04:25 Or people were maybe raising money for him. Perhaps. I forget. There's several Owens it could have been. Hey folks, January 21st, Huntington, New York. I'll be at the Paramount Theater coming back to Long Island, 7 p.m. On January 23rd, I'll be in Red Bank, New Jersey at the Count Basie Theater, 7 p.m. How great is this?

Starting point is 01:04:46 Art is presale Wednesday, November 10th, 2021 at 10 a.m. Password, fake biz. This is the best way to get the cheapest tickets. Presale Wednesday, 11, 10, 2021, 10 a.m. Password, fake biz. Not case sensitive. And the on sale is Friday, November 12th, 2021 at 10 a.m. Thank you.

Starting point is 01:05:10 But my point is this. I was never, I've never walked across the stage. Right. And got a diploma. I didn't, I, I, I got kicked out of high school, uh, by Catholic High School. Because you said you're going to blow up a woman's uterus. Yeah. I mean, it was said just of course, but you know, it was taken, it was went through Columba.

Starting point is 01:05:28 I did it. I, you know, I went to my graduation in high school, but I'm not, I'm not, that doesn't count. Oh, I didn't go to my high school. I know you were thrown out, but I went to public school after that. And they, you know, and all the kids like, like, people liked me because I knew how to build mystery. And like, who was this guy coming in here in middle of senior year? What happened?

Starting point is 01:05:45 I didn't, I teased it. And, uh, what'd you say? I, I was very coy about it. It was very much like, you know, uh, I didn't say, I wasn't like, I may have threatened a woman. No. Like what is it? I didn't leave with that. I may have threatened.

Starting point is 01:06:01 I don't remember what I said. I do remember some of the cooler people, uh, kind of like they did me the lunch one day at the pizza shop. They drove me to the pizza shop and they blessed the rap music and then we had a nice dinner. But I don't think I made a great impression at the, at the pizza lunch. Cause like that, that didn't keep going on. I think someone like cold and sick that day. So I got his spot.

Starting point is 01:06:23 But the point is that I wasn't just sitting there alone. I mean, I did sit alone in the cafeteria on purpose. And, uh, but they were all saying, why don't you come to graduation? And I was like, I barely went to the school, but I could have gone, but I didn't. And I do wonder, I've never held a diploma in my hand. Should we remake the movie LIE where we play every part? Yes. You know, yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:45 I mean, either me or you is playing every part of the movie LIE with, with, with, with, uh, Brian Cox. Could we get Brian Cox to play his part? And Paul Battles? Probably not. Probably. Paul Battles, wasn't that? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:00 Oh wow. He's, he's good. He was the kid. That wasn't pulled down though. Yes, it was. Really? Look at him. He was the main kid.

Starting point is 01:07:06 He was the main kid. Oh wow. Look it up, Ray. Mr. Film buff. I mean, I saw it when we went, it was disturbing. What was disturbing about it? It just had a very, it had a very, I mean, there was some child fucking going on, right? Yeah, but it wasn't even shut.

Starting point is 01:07:20 Like I agree that the premise is completely disturbing about like this pedophile driving around. But like to me, like, I don't know this accident statistics, like in the beginning, I feel like he killed everybody. The little guy. It was an eerie bleak movie. Is there a way? Yes. On the L.A. expressway, there's lanes going west.

Starting point is 01:07:39 There's lanes going east. Yeah. And there's lanes going straight down. The character, the father was amazing going to Israel. Yeah. Everything was disturbing about it. I agree. It was a vibe to that movie.

Starting point is 01:07:51 It was a very, it almost felt like they were promoting pedophilia. I mean, did it feel like that? No, I mean, I'm not saying, I'm not saying it's a pedophile movie. I'm just saying it didn't feel like it felt. It almost, this is what it did feel like. It felt like saying parents in Long Island are so bad, you might as well just choose a pedophile. That's literally what it was saying. That's someone who spent like five minutes in Long Island and went,

Starting point is 01:08:17 you know what the best thing to happen to these kids would be a pedophile. Right. That is Poledad, by the way. I know. I didn't realize. But I'm just imagining a spring years from now when there's no more COVID. Right. Okay.

Starting point is 01:08:32 In six months. And Heather Hying is handing you a diploma and Christina Hof Summers and Andrew Sullivan or Katie Herzog or Alex Friedman or David Mammoth. David Mammoth. Yeah, he's involved too. Is he? He's involved. Lawrence Summers is involved.

Starting point is 01:08:49 When Gary guys involved? They're all involved. It's going to be big. Why did Mammoth get into this? This guy's got a career. What's he doing? No, because you always underestimate how far the other side's gone. You don't understand how crazy the other side is.

Starting point is 01:09:04 The woke? Yes. Yeah, but he's a legitimate filmmaker. Yeah, but that doesn't exist anymore. They're not letting anyone make legitimate films. I guess it doesn't move me in a while. I didn't love Heist. My point is that you carry water for the left.

Starting point is 01:09:17 I didn't. I just didn't realize. I don't mean the real left. I mean like these liberal power-seeking lunatics. Yeah, I just thought he still had a career is my point. What I'm saying is that the University of Austin is not without its problems. Okay, but in terms of this is your new home. Look, I am fully committed to accepting an adjunct professional role.

Starting point is 01:09:46 Yeah, perhaps. What if I split off? If I join the University of Austin and I open up something called the University of San Antonio and I take like hardcore alt-right people. Who, like David D'Amigo? Like Owen Benjamin. Hardcore, hardcore. Richard Spencer, like the hardest of the hard.

Starting point is 01:10:06 Yeah, that's a move. It was a schism in the University of Austin. We went our own way. You called the University of Austin at San Antonio. Yes. Tell people where they can support what you do. We have the Cump podcast. It's really, it's really hitting its stride this year.

Starting point is 01:10:28 It's phenomenal. Me and Lucy Steiner, we're just killing it every week. You just definitely tune in for that on YouTube and wherever we get podcasts. Cump, we also have a Patreon. I think Ben will put the link in the description. He always does. But you can get an extra episode every week for that and support the Cump podcast.

Starting point is 01:10:44 So just check those out at RayCump on Twitter and Instagram. Check them all out, please. Also, we're at the Beacon Theatre. Yes. And we're sold out. Yeah. But I'm very excited to be part of this. Very fun.

Starting point is 01:10:59 We're going to do a podcast at the end of the stand-up. It's going to be phenomenal. It, I don't, we don't know. I mean, always is. But it'll be good. We make magic happen. It'll be exciting. What if we don't stop talking?

Starting point is 01:11:12 Like, what if we do three or four? Like, should we just do it until people walk out? I mean, see that? Yeah. You want to talk about something that would kind of be amazing? And what would they start? I mean, there's a problem. We're living in a FOMO culture.

Starting point is 01:11:26 So what, I know how many people will just stay because they're afraid of missing something great. That's a good point. And we just don't give a to them ever. Yeah. We just keep, there's nothing great coming. And we start describing rations we've had. What if we, we get to the point where we're just,

Starting point is 01:11:43 we do a 30 minutes, but where the tech's not working. The techs? Like the tech. Oh, right. For the podcast isn't working. Obviously you just don't hear it. You're like, you hear the distance, you hear us. Hear anything.

Starting point is 01:11:54 Yeah. You don't hear anything. It's just like, it's like, yeah. So, yeah. So it was an abortion that I couldn't pay for. Yeah. Like, I think there's something funny to the idea of just Ben like running around, losing his mind.

Starting point is 01:12:08 And of course we just play, you know, we know that we can get the tech working if we want, but we don't. Can we get a fake gun? But they don't know what's fake. No, that's not a problem. It would be amazing if we both killed ourselves at the end of the show. It would be amazing. It would be, I mean, what if we both killed ourselves

Starting point is 01:12:30 and left all of our money to the University of Austin? It's an endowment. It's an endowment. Yeah. I mean, what if, what if I just put a gun in my mouth? Okay. And I was like, I'm leaving all my money. And he barely hearing it.

Starting point is 01:12:45 It's an endowment for the University of Austin. Barry Weiss will know how to spend all this money. Goodbye. And then I just blew my brains out. You'd be remembered. I mean, you would, you would edge out Budge Wire, I think. Sure. You'd be the new Budge Wire.

Starting point is 01:13:05 Will we have, we're not going to have a guest. We're not going to be on live TV though. No, no one will care. You can't get anyone to care about anything in this country. You blow your own brains at it to be considered. You can't even get anything. And we're not going to have a guest. What kind of guests do you think?

Starting point is 01:13:23 I don't know. Oh, you mean for the podcast? You have to be hilarious. You just have a guest. Can we, can we get like Mafia Polar Aston or a New York socialite? They're not going to come on probably. Can we get a criminal? Can we get Rebel Bogorjevic?

Starting point is 01:13:39 Here's what might be funny. Could we get Curtis Sliwa? I think we probably could. There's something funny about Curtis Sliwa. He would be amazing. Did he get any votes? He was Republican candidate. That's a baby.

Starting point is 01:13:51 No, I love that article on the day of the election when he showed up with his cat. Yeah. And then he was just screaming like there was a problem. He said, arrest me. Arrest me. I want him to be mayor. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:14:02 And then the other guy, Eric Adams, who like clearly doesn't live in the city, was like driving on the sidewalk. It's absurd. I wonder who we could get. I could get Curtis Sliwa. I think we could get Curtis Sliwa. Oh yeah. That's totally doable.

Starting point is 01:14:17 Yeah. He just walks on stage with his cat. Can you ask him, like, do they have him? But like, can he come dressed as a guardian angel though? I think he dresses like that all the time. Yeah. Did you see that commercial he had with like the homeless guy? No.

Starting point is 01:14:29 But he's like the homeless guy sobbing and he's going like, oh, because he's outside some like mental institution. Yeah. Going like, they're not keeping track of these people. They're letting them out. We got putting people back in here. And he's like, homeless guy shows up with no shirt. And they're like, I have bananas in his head.

Starting point is 01:14:45 And he starts going like, yeah, I got whatever, like, and screaming. And he goes, it's not, he starts crying. And then Curtis Sliwa was like, kind of puts his hand on his shoulder. And he goes, it's not your fault. It's not your fault. Like, you know, we should be taking care of you. But the absurd thing is like, they make this into a commercial. I see it on Jeopardy.

Starting point is 01:15:04 Stern talk told me about this. He said it was amazing. It's the most insane thing I've ever seen in my life. And he's like, Curtis Sliwa cares about the homeless. Like, you put him in a campaign. I mean, I just, I'm amazed. I'm amazed that a guy who spent a good amount of his career inventing fake crimes.

Starting point is 01:15:24 By the way, Durkin. Would he do that? Oh, Chris Lee invented fake crimes. What do you mean? He rescued people from pretend crimes. Really? Yes. He would set up fake crimes and then say that the Guardian Angels

Starting point is 01:15:35 rescued someone. It was a complete fraud. Oh, wow. No, you could look it up. He got caught like doing it. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. He's admitted it.

Starting point is 01:15:41 He's like, I was younger. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. No. What was his end game with that? To just, he wanted to be like fucking the Gotham City. Like he wanted to be Batman. I don't know.

Starting point is 01:15:51 Like I wanted to be like some like the Avenger running around New York City. Like he was psychotic. Wow. Do you think he'll talk about that? I don't think he's going to come on. I think he would. I don't think he will. He just lost a mayor.

Starting point is 01:16:04 What else is going on? He's not moving into, you know. These people are so crazy. Okay. It's like, you know what's the guy's name on succession? He's going to be president. The son. The like, no cash.

Starting point is 01:16:18 Oh, yeah. What's his name? Cam? Can't? Not can. Can. Conrad. Conrad.

Starting point is 01:16:23 Conrad. Conrad. Yeah. So Conrad from succession, the nothing child. Who's like, things are going to be present. People like Caitlyn Jenner and people like courtesy. They're that crazy. They're like nuts.

Starting point is 01:16:34 No, yeah, they are. But courtesy or is nowhere near Caitlyn Jenner level. He's got nothing going on. That's true. Caitlyn is a lot more of a chance. Yeah. Yeah. I'm saying like she wouldn't do what they would.

Starting point is 01:16:44 She wouldn't do our show. I imagine, by the way, no, no, but imagine here in that, it's like an advisor sitting down courtesy. We're going, you wouldn't know where near Caitlyn Jenner. Like we can't even get you regardless of the Kardashian thing. Olympic hero. No, but I mean, in terms of electability, Caitlyn's much higher. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 01:17:03 Much higher. And that's got to be amazing here. Right. But Caitlyn is much higher than you. Yeah. You have no chance. Yeah. Who are we going with?

Starting point is 01:17:13 Caitlyn Jenner all day. Right. Over you. You fucking loser. Yeah. I mean, courtesy. But if you do, do you think you'd ever run? Yeah, 100%.

Starting point is 01:17:26 Yeah, I think so too. I think I'll run. I wonder if it's delusions of grandeur, but I would definitely, I can see myself as being a daughter of crap. Well, it definitely is delusions of grandeur. But that's a funny thing. Like if me and you moved like a little shitty city, we like Portland or something, maybe not Portland,

Starting point is 01:17:43 that's too left wing, but like somewhere we could kind of. I knew the mayor of Cleveland. Yeah. We probably could. Yeah. That's the shitty thing you probably could. That's how low rent America is right now. No one wants to be the mayor of Cleveland.

Starting point is 01:17:58 It's the worst job. There's a few restaurants here. Okay. Like the, I probably get to meet LeBron Jean for some time. Yeah, maybe. There's nothing cool about being the mayor of Cleveland. No, not much.

Starting point is 01:18:08 That's what's kind of a problem to Cleveland. Huge. Nobody wants that game. So that's how you know America is on its way out. Is that being a mayor of one of our major cities now, the perks do not outweigh the problems. No. At all.

Starting point is 01:18:22 You'd much rather work at any other company. That being said, you got to work it. That's why you get, look, there's definitely businesses in Cleveland that want you to look the other way. Not a lot. Really? Not a lot. And let me tell you this.

Starting point is 01:18:37 This is why all the people doing these jobs now are criminally insane. Like when you look at like Marjorie Taylor Greene, they're like, there's nothing cool about being a congressman anymore. No one gives you, you can't get anything done. Who gives a fuck? The grift is dead. The grift is over. So the people that are doing it are lunatics.

Starting point is 01:18:54 Right. People are like, why are these lunatics? I'm like, there's nothing left. Right. The carcass has been skinned. I think I could make a, like my own version of the squad. Yeah. I think you could do it.

Starting point is 01:19:08 I think I, I, I, I, I, I, I have a- What if you and four really foul-eyed guys were like out-progressive the squad? The guts. Like if, if you like four fat, like three fat Midwestern guys became the new squad and you were to the left of like Ilhan Omar. But our catchphrase is, we've got guts.

Starting point is 01:19:32 Yeah. Like we've got guts. You go, no military, no police. Federal amendment banning the military, banning police. And be like, I'm sick of these bitches. You put Ilhan Omar in the embassy. So I'm sick of these bitches with their half measures. We got guts.

Starting point is 01:19:49 Stop stealing our surplus value. It's just you and three other guys, and it's just like two tons of fun. The squad. What would they call you guys? The, the squawk. The, the, the squish, the squish. The squad is being pressured by the squish.

Starting point is 01:20:13 The squish is for Midwestern gentlemen, all of that 450 pounds who are incredibly progressive. They've endorsed things like banning the military and all police. While the squad thinks that a lot of what the squish wants to do is unrealistic. The squish says that the squad is just playing old dirty politics. You could be the spokesman for the squish. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:20:37 Yeah. The squish. You say thin people are an attack on fat people. The existence of thin people is an attack on fat people. I'm all about inclusiveness. Inclusivity. Inclusivity. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:20:58 The squish. It's like, you see like AOC being like, I think we've had a lot of productive dialogue with the squish. I think the squish. The squish will not compromise with the squad. Let me be clear about that. We will not be countdown. We will not be wailing.

Starting point is 01:21:15 Yeah. She's like, I understand where the squish comes from, but I think politically the squish has not accomplished anything. Listen to me. The squad is politically irrelevant. They're out of touch. And they're under the boot of the squish. Squish.

Starting point is 01:21:33 Just for fat lardess. This is about communism now. We're kind of saying we're playing each other. Yeah. We're like, new fat people keep dying for it. Yes. People keep dropping. Because we're all like crooked cokeheads who are fat.

Starting point is 01:21:53 So it's just like about four times. Like, yeah. Communism now. You just started screaming. I was beat red screaming, sweating into a microphone. The morbidly obese anarchist known as the squish. You're like, you're trying to direct it. Like, get them into traffic.

Starting point is 01:22:15 Like, Thomas Jefferson made Hitler look like a laptop. The squish have endorsed removing all monuments from all federal buildings immediately. What's a burn this flag? There's a campaign of you outside of a Jimmy John's burning a flag. What a burn. You call you fascist pigs. I mean, it's a, it's a root.

Starting point is 01:22:44 Yeah. It's a root. Look, honestly, if I told you 30 years ago that some congress squad explained that to you, you'd laugh me out of the room. Absolutely. No, the squish is going to happen. The squish could happen. And you know, like the New York Post will run at headlines, squash the squish.

Starting point is 01:23:04 I just think, hey, I just think it could happen. Go to the University of Austin. Sign up. Start your life. It's going to be good. Good night.

The Tim Dillon Show - 276 - The Squish

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