The Tim Dillon Show - 287 - Drug Recognition Expert

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. The Super Bowl was won by the LA Rams. And what, uh, what, who cares? But a lot of people do. And, um, the people that, uh, don't pretend to, and that's lovely. And LA is obviously a lot of actors and people who really, you know, they're like, yeah, but a week ago, they didn't know who the Rams were and they but it's just fun. It's fun. It's like drugs. There's a reason for it. There's a reason to be fucked up. Um, and then there's a lot of other people that really care, but you know, there's a lot of people that I think are pretending. They seem to be, you know, they seem to be a little bit more moved than they're actually, than they truly are because tomorrow they wake

up. They don't care. It's back to them. It's a nice collective experience for a city that doesn't really like the collective. It's more of an independent city about you and what you're up to, but someone's done something else. It doesn't directly involve you. And it's nice to pretend to care about it, even though you, most people don't. The people that do are like regular people that are not in LA to like makes, you know, make like some thing or make it. They're human beings who live in LA and work and have families they care, but the people that I'm around and the people that I, you know, observe are pretending to care because it allows them to have a collective experience, even though it's fraudulent and not real, it allows them for a

few minutes to pretend that they can enjoy something outside of themselves, which is completely, they're incapable of doing. And this allows them to pretend that they can do that, which they cannot, but you know, it's fun. It's fun. We just got hassled by the LAPD on the way to the studio. Two cops pulled us over an Asian guy and a bold guy. And we had inched over the line. What was it? The line of the traffic line, the intersection line. Now, by the way, he, he was next to us, the cops, and we pulled up to where he was. And then he pulled up. So I kind of thought I could pull up because I figured that well, he's pulling up, I guess I could pull up, but you know, what he's basically saying is we're pulling up because for our own safety, we don't like people next to

us because we think you could take shots at us or whatever, which again, you know, we weren't planning to do, but I didn't realize it that I got, I know it's bad out there, but I didn't realize I didn't think he was like, oh, I'm going to shoot us in the head. So we'll go up. So he moved up. I moved up. And then he looked it out. He looked at me. And do you remember the first thing he said? I don't really remember. Is it, sir? Why did you roll through the line there? Have you been drinking tonight? Yeah, because you've been drinking tonight. I'm like, the first of all, the light is green. I'm like, right. It's a green light. So I'm, I'm going through the green light. Okay. That's how it works. And he's like, well, I'm going to pull you over to do a D we check. And I'm like, I had

exhibited no behavior of drinking. I was not swerving. There was no smell of marijuana or alcohol in the car. You know, it was nothing going on. We're on our way to the studio. Every time I defend the cops, by the way, and when I say I defend the cops, I just defend the idea that there needs to be a police force. I don't really defend the cops per se. I just defend the idea that you need to have some enforcement of the law or rich people just hire mercenaries and then chaos ensues. But every time I even try to defend that, you know, you have interactions with these people and they're always bad. And they're always like kind of abusive. And I'm a white guy in a nice car. Imagine if I was a black guy, what they could get away with doing. They bait you

into saying something disrespectful so that they can bring you in. He kept threatening me with other. First of all, we pull over. Okay. And you can tell he's mentally unstable. Many people in the LAPD are mentally unstable. Okay, this is not the first choice of employment. He identified himself as a DRE. What was it again? A drug recognition expert. Yeah, a drug recognition expert. He's an expert on recognizing when people are on drugs because apparently that's hard to do. It's an art. It's a science because you would never know when someone's on drugs unless you had a drug recognition expert. So lucky. So now this drug recognition expert based on the fact that I was not swerving, not slurring, no smell of alcohol or marijuana, but I was answering

his questions coherently. He was like, Oh, he must be fucked up. So he pulls me over and then he starts going at me. He goes, if you had a drink, I said not in 13 years, which is true. And he goes, okay. And then I'm like, he goes, well, we're going to do a test here. And he pulls out a pen. And he goes, what color is the pen? No, it's a clear pen. It's a clear pen that looks bluish, purplish kind of. It's a weird tint. It's a big pen. I got a blue clear. He's like, Oh, he thinks he's got someone like dummy. First of all, it's not even a sobriety test. The sobriety test, you get me out of the car. This is like a waste of both of our time. You just want to bait me into saying something crazy. You could bring me in and then you don't

have to do your job for the rest of the night. I get it. So this emotionally unstable lunatic that has me follow the pen cap with my eyes. He's like, don't move your head. Just your eyes, which I can do. I go to left, you know, right, left, right. We get it. Right. I complete that. And he goes, um, you know, he's kind of a dicks being a dick. And I go, it's rental. Here's the insurance. I've not had a drink in 12 years. We're going to work. He's being a dick. So then he's more of a dick starts lecturing me about dewey's and you know, whatever. And this is my job. And I'm like, okay, but I passed. We're done.

So then as he's leaving, I go scumbag to Ben because I was yelling at Ben, but here's the deal with them. You can't say to their face. They'll put you in jail. But what you do is you say to someone in the car, something about them, because that's freedom of speech. But if you say to them, they will say that you are being, um, uh, whatever, menacing, threatening, or that you are, uh, you know, because he's like, he alluded to the fact that he could take me in for multiple tests. Uh, he goes, there's, that's only one test. There's many tests. So what he's basically saying is say the wrong thing. I'll bring you in. You'll pee in a cop. We'll do blood, whatever it is, you know, which then I call a million lawyers

and we go to war with piggy blue collar, piggy pig, but we don't want to do that. You know what I mean? We don't want to do that. Okay. But, uh, he's, uh, you know, drunk on his own power, uh, a, uh, not the brightest bulb. Um, you know, he's on, on Dewey enforcement in Beverly Hills, right? Um, and then he comes back. He goes, what was that? I was like, Oh, I didn't see anything. I said, I have freedom of speech. It's my own car. I can say whatever I want. He goes, well, what did you say? I said, it's none of your concern. And then we just start fighting, like going at it for what about 20 minutes, 20 minutes, going back and forth with this civil servant slob about, um, you know, why I have rights. That's all about why I have rights

and why this idiot, uh, doesn't get to just, you know, uh, and again, this is the pandemic or whatever it is. It's going back to nine 11. It's like this is instilled and I'm like, I'm like, with the city falling apart, with people getting killed, smashing grabs, robberies, do you think the best use of your time right now is to argue with a guy that we've proven his sober and is not breaking any laws. Do you think that's the best use of your time? He's like, well, what do you do for a living? I said, I'm Gavin Newsom's personal assistant. That's exactly what I said. I said, that's what I do. And we got back. If I said, I'm somewhat well known. I said, I'm not crazy well known compared to other people, but I'm decently well

known because he goes, he said some shit about you. Have you ever been shot at? I'm like, no, I defend cops on large platforms. I've said nice things about calm. I'm going to take them all back. He's like, have you ever met someone who's been the victim of a Dewey? No. Aren't they dead? Isn't that your point? He's like, do you know, have you ever gone to a Dewey scene? No. Is that something I'm even allowed to do? Am I even allowed to just go to Dewey scenes to look at mangled people to learn? I'm not drinking. But again, the cops are abusive and belligerent and they're trying to make you say something. They're trying to trip you up. It's incredibly unprofessional that the way that they behave and act and it's sad. But I was,

I, you know, argued my position pretty well. I said, Hey buddy, like, you know, at any time, did you think I was going to go in? Yeah, I thought, uh, I thought we weren't getting the episode in in time for sure. Well, no, but did you think I was going to jail? No, I didn't think you were going to jail, but I thought it might escalate a little bit more, but I did a good job. I helped your ground. I helped my God because what the thing is, is they're so used to just trampling on people's civil liberties and rights. Um, like for example, I'm not drunk. We've proven I'm not drunk. I made a comment to my friend in the car. Guess what? It's none of your business that I said you were a scumbag. If I say to your face, I like people who say things to my face.

I'm like, because you can bring him to jail. That's what you like. Liar. You're a liar. You, you're a power crazed psychopath. You're the entire reason we have fucking problems right now in this country because you people show up somewhere and start firing wildly because you're all insane. Okay. Not all of you, but far too many. Let's be clear. Far too many of you are fucking out there causing real problems. He's Asian guy. He's like, dude, he said I was racist and they were spitting on me and I didn't take them to jail. I'm like, number one, you probably did. Number two, I'm not spitting on you. I'm telling you, uh, that I have a right as a human being. I'm sorry that, uh, doesn't sit well with you. But when I said Gavin Newsom's personal

assistant, the bald guy left the other cop on the other side. Yeah, the baldy, baldy laughed. But yeah, I mean, you know, what are you going to do? This is why the LAPD. I mean, they're the most corrupt police force in the country. So they don't do much, but whatever they do is always bad. Like whatever they get involved with is, uh, horrendous. So you're glad that they, but what's going on with the Ukraine? Everyone's going on about this Ukraine now. You can't leave the house without people in a grocery store going Ukraine. What's going to happen? Do you think? Because here's what's happening for the uninitiated, for the, the people that don't know, um, Vladimir Putin, who is that, and this is, I, I was stunned when I read the full story about this.

There is a couple who wants to be in the Olympics and they are non-binary and they are from Russia. And Vladimir Putin is not letting them into the Olympics because he, you know, he does not like gay people. This is, this is the whole thing. We are going to have to have a nuclear war with Russia. Have you heard this? We're going to have to have, because I thought this was like the Ukraine joining NATO and like, like NATO pushing further into Russia's territory and then kind of like, you know, they're kind of prone to invasion and them kind of freaking out going, Hey, you're encircling us. Like, would you like it if, if, if we encircled you like that? Like, don't you see, but it's not about them. There is a non-binary figure skating team that is being

denied entry to the Olympics by Russia. So we're going to have to have a nuclear exchange because Russia is not as pro-progressive as we would like. And that saddens me and it saddens many people I know. So if we have to have a nuclear war, so be it, you know, no, of course that's a joke. Although they are Glenn Greenwald made a decent point. Like, wokeness is now used as kind of like the pretense for war. It's hilarious. They're like, he did their backwards and they don't like gays. So we're going to go in there with some nukes. Like, well, that doesn't help to, that doesn't help the gays. Does it? If I was gay in Russia, I wouldn't want, um, uh, to be, uh, bombed as you know, the way to help. It wouldn't help me probably situation in Ukraine building

now to some kind of crescendo opportunity for Mr. Putin says, Pettica, now Russia's going, we're not invading, but they said that about Crimea and they did go into Crimea. They've got a lot of troops on the border. Russia does not like being encircled. They don't like NATO pushing past Germany more into Russia's world. And then if the Ukraine joins NATO, I mean, it's right on their doorstep, right? NATO, of course, being this group of countries that the North Atlantic trade organization, right? Yes, yes, yes. And what they basically do is, well, you know, it's a, it's a trade organization, an economic political military alliance that you can join. And if the Ukraine is in it, it's really bringing NATO right to Russia's doorstep. Putin not happy about this.

So nobody really knows what's going to go down. Um, the Ukrainian president keeps saying that nothing's going to happen. Like, no, there's nothing to worry about. Well, the Ukrainian president keeps saying relax, it's going to be fine. Right. But 160 Florida National Guard soldiers have safely left the Ukraine. So that is a few women in Ukraine not being sexually assaulted by the Florida National Guard. We do, we go to these countries, we sexually assault people. I mean, it's horrible, but this is what we do. And then we pretend we don't know how it, like so many complaints are like, I'm like American, you know, Hey, you drink, get in there. You drunk. You drunk. No. Why'd you go over the line?

Well, because I'll, you were over the line and the light was green. So we were living. Yeah. Maybe I should go over to fucking Korea and assault some women. What? You want that? I don't know what's really going to happen here with this. And I can't care. I don't want the Ukraine to be attacked. I don't want, uh, yeah, I don't want this. But then, you know, but then sometimes I wake up and I go, maybe I do. That's the problem because sometimes I'll wake up and I go, maybe I do, maybe I do want Ukraine to get attacked. I don't know. Have you ever like tried to pick like a flavor, maybe a vice cream or something? And you're like, I just don't know. That's kind

of how I feel about the Ukraine. I go, I, I kind of don't want them to be attacked. But then I also do. Bay Area homeowners are, uh, being asked to help to house homeless residents in the Bay Area of California in Northern California. They are having problems with, uh, homelessness and the gov, the government now to their credit is no longer pretending that they're functional. Remember that story about the children who drive the ambulances? Oh yeah. You brought that to my attention. They didn't have anyone to drive the ambulances. So I forget where this was, but they just started enlisting the help of, I think like high school kids to just drive ambulances because they couldn't find anyone else to do it. And again, it was one of those

feel good stories where they're like, take a look at this. We are so proud of our young boys and girls. Yeah. In, in rural Sackett's Harbor, New York, Sackett's Harbor, New York, COVID-19, affected local volunteer ambulance service. Local high school students took to require training and picked up the slack. Man, me and my friends will be just baking out the ambulance. We'd just be getting so high in that ambulance. Let's watch this little segment. When people call for an ambulance in Sackett's Harbor, New York and the crew shows up at their front door. You're 12. Almost everyone has the same reaction. A lot of people just come up and ask you like, wait, how old are you? Right. You're the EMT. Right. Once the ambulance is coming.

So what do you say? We just explain to them, we are the ambulance. These baby-faced first responders took over the village's emergency medical services not long after COVID hit. When all the older EMS volunteers either couldn't or wouldn't do the job anymore. That's right. That Exodus wouldn't. Part of a national trend. That's right. In rural America, 35% of ambulance services are all volunteer. Pay them. Maybe that's a bad model. 69% say they're struggling. That's a horrible model, huh? Fortunately, 40% of people coming to get you are doing it because they want to. What was that for? In New York state. It's a weird, isn't that a weird model? 35% of ambulance workers in rural America are volunteers.

35% of people that are coming to get you in your moment of need are doing it because they feel like it. I mean, is that a problem? But now we got kids doing it. So in the great spirit of this, because I think this is great. I think it's good. Everyone pitch in, get in there and do it, right? Get in there and do it. Can you imagine being a young kid? Well, I was a piece of shit. You know, we love drugs and just being a long island, being in an ambulance, being high, somebody called, Oh, fuck dude, we got to get this woman putting the siren on. So in San Jose, California, as the Bay Area continues to struggle under the weight of its homelessness crisis, officials and nonprofits are asking local residents to do more than hand

out meals or donate spare change. I like that already. Hey, because no one's doing that either. No one's handing out meals. So I like that they're saying you got to do more than this and people going, who's doing that? Handing out meals. They're asking them to open up their homes. Nearly 30,000 people are unhoused in the five county Bay Area. And there isn't nearly enough room in the region's existing affordable housing developments to fill the gaps service providers increasingly are recruiting private landlords to take in homeless tenants. Some property owners are renting out entire units in exchange for agreements that the government or a nonprofit will cover the rent. Others are offering up a spare bedroom fun in their home, sometimes

in exchange for a small stipend, sometimes as a purely or as a purely charitable act. Now, how does this work? Because I, this is a very interesting idea. You have a spare bedroom and you bring in someone that may be addicted to drugs or emotionally unstable. And by the way, it's America. So members of your household already may be addicted to drugs and emotionally unstable. You may be adding another person because that's what a lot of teenagers are right now, right? You have an emotionally unstable drug addict in the home and now you're bringing in a buddy. You're bringing in a buddy. It's a Harry and the Henderson's. It's like, it's bringing in a fun, you know, it's down and down Beverly Hills. Watched a movie with

Nick Nalty. It's been fucking brilliant. Quote here, recruiting landlords also was a challenge for the homecoming project, which houses formerly incarcerated people, a group that's often stigmatized using donations and non-profit paced hosts in Alameda and Contra Costa counties, $30 a day to house someone in a spare bedroom for six months. Each former inmate is matched with a case manager to help them find a job and save money for a permanent home. Sex offenders aren't eligible. Now let's get one thing straight. I am very much for people turning their lives around and not being stigmatized, especially with nonviolent drug charges, right? I don't think people should carry these things for the rest of their life. I don't think it should prevent them

from working and I do think that they need a place to stay. I do though think it is quite hilarious that with all the money that the government of California takes in, the only option they have is to go to citizens and go, do you have a room? That's the only option after the billions of tax dollars that flow into the state of California. The only thing you can do is say, hey, do you guys got any rooms? Zack Stein, Zack Stein and his wife volunteered with, say, by the way, remember there was a homeless guy, there was a guy in Beverly wood who worked with the homeless and I'm not dissuading anyone from working with the homeless by just telling you this factual story. There was a guy

in Beverly wood who worked with the homeless, a homeless guy followed him home and stabbed him to death. I think it was Brentwood, maybe let me see. I believe it was in Beverly wood, but it doesn't really matter. People are listening to this from some dungeon in Wisconsin. They don't understand what we're talking about. We're talking about Beverly Hills, piglets. Homeless man arrested for murder at Brentwood and camp. Well, you were right. Same difference. So I think that was a different one, but my point is this. My point is this. You got to have Cajones to work with people that may kill you, right? Zack Stein and his wife volunteered was safe time opening up their spare bedroom in Albany to a struggling young woman for three months. In some ways it was really weird

having a stranger there. Stein said, but the experience seemed to make a big difference in the woman's life. Start. This was one of the Andrew Cuomo's mistresses they had. They housed Stein and his wife recently had a baby and hope to continue hosting once they get settled as parents. Well, that seems insane, but they were able to buy their house because they inherited money and they want to share that good luck with those less fortunate. Well, that's the beginning of a fun movie. I mean, here's the deal. There's a lot of people that are down on their luck that need help. There's also a lot of people that have real, real problems with mental illness and drug addiction. And the idea that you would bring them into your house and put your family and children at risk

seems insane to anybody. And I know this is one of those ideas that like 10 people write about on Twitter and they make it sound like it's a great idea, but human beings recoil from this. It's like, you know, the reason why the Democrats have lost an narrative on truly everything right now is because the Democrats issues that have always made sense to people are like the meat and potatoes. Like yeah, people shouldn't go bankrupt when they get in a car accident. People do need healthcare. People should have a retirement, right? People believe in those things, but when you start getting to this extreme of the left, where they go, why don't you, why don't you, hey, how about you open your house? How about you got a room? Because these are millionaires. Why not put them

in Gavin News? How big is that? How big is Gavin Newsom's winery? Can't they all go work on Gavin Newsom's winery? I'm not saying you shouldn't be charitable when you can, but there's a lot of this that screams a horrible idea because you are not trained to deal with people that are experiencing psychosis. You're not trained to deal with that. And it's America. So there's already people in your house with psychosis. They say no, it's not new here. You're adding another nut to a bag of nuts. Probably talk to anyone now. Someone's lost it. Anybody you talk to, there's someone in the house who's gone completely insane. So you're bringing in someone else and that could be a real big problem. I just, you know, I'll bring him in my house, but you got to do what I say. I'll program them to kill.

If I, if I adopt a homeless person, can I program them to kill? Truly. If I bring, if I sign up in this program, safe time, can I get, I want to get a fucking person in there that we can MK Ultra to do whatever we want. Nothing truly violent. Just like throwing a loaf of bread at a politician. Some funny bits, good bits, good goofs. Can we bring in a homeless person and teach him how to do some goofs? Well, if you want to, if you want to open your home to them, I commend you. I'm not saying it's a bad idea. It's not a great idea. What was the other article that I thought was very interesting? There was this one with the real housewives. Well, this was fun. This was from a while ago.

Real housewives stars X faces felony charges after a standoff at Newport Beach home. Here's the thing, man, you may not like the real housewives and you may think that they're a garbage television franchise and you might have many arguments for that that are valid. Here's what I'm telling you. Pay attention because the economy, these people that are on these shows for the most part, not all of them, a few of them have money, inherited money, a part of industries, whatever. But the vast majority of them are con artists. They're frauds. They are grifters. They are, you know, basically living off cheap credit. They're in these industries that are unregulated. They're the Wild West. You know, when the show first started, it was in Orange County, California,

and it was all mortgages. One guy worked at a title and he owned a title business and the other person was a other woman was real estate agent. The other person did this and you know, and all of them kind of were getting in on the big boatload of free money that was there. And then of course, as the economy crashed, those people also crashed and you watch that. So it's a good indication now. This guy, I don't even know who he is, but Ryan Matthew, Gerati, Gary, whatever. 33 of LA faces one count each of extortion by force or threat, assault with a firearm, making criminal threats, corporal injury on his spouse or cohabitant, grossly negligent discharge of a firearm and being a felon in possession of a firearm.

Basically what he put the chick, he locked you up in a house for a while. He had fired a gun in the house during a fight a couple months ago. He was blackmailing her to release her nudes to the media. Folks, let me tell you what this means. Bitcoin has not reached the bottom. Let's call the spades paid here. Bitcoin has not reached the bottom. When somebody's blackmailing the wife for the nudes and they got the helicopters in Orange County and he's shooting a gun in the house, cryptos, there's more blood in the water. That's what I'm, that is my prediction is what I'm telling you right now. This is not a human interest story. This is a story about economics. I'm telling you,

pay attention. SWAT teams were requested and East Balboa Boulevard between Island Avenue and Coronado Street was closed during the standoff standoff in Orange County means there's more blood in the water. The coins are going down. I'm telling you, when these criminals start to feel the squeeze, margin calls, people need to start covering their ass. When they start feeling the squeeze, they take the gun out in the house. I'm telling you, ignore me at your own peril. What's coming won't be able. You can't stop what's coming. What's that quote from? No country for old men. That's your favorite quote. At some point he forced Vargas, whoever that is, to buy him a BMW on the 31st. He shot a gun in the homes, into the home ceiling during

an argument while Vargas hid in the closet. Well, here's what my point is here. What my point is, when these people start to get restless, you know something is a miss. So Anthony Wiener is back. He's hosting a show called left versus right with Curtis Sliwa. Now, Anthony Wiener is the husband of Huma Abedin, who's a Hillary Clinton's assistant and Huma Abedin. Yeah, vice-chair of Hillary Clinton's 2016 campaign. Yeah. Yeah. So she's very tight with Hill and her husband, Anthony Wiener, had an issue because he was sexting. What, a 15-year-old? Yes. Yes. I think it was 15. I was at 15. 16. It was so it was underage. It was underage. It was underage, but then there was some conspiracy about it that the girl, I don't know. Right,

you're a 15-year-old girl, was sentenced to 21 months in federal prison in 2017. Right. And he did the time, right? Now he's back. So he goes, Wiener 57 told the New York Post that the radio show isn't part of a larger comeback plan. He goes, I am not going back into public life. I'm doing a radio show with a friend of mine. Here's the thing with Anthony Wiener, who's a very successful politician, incredibly successful, and he was, I think, pissing off a lot of rich, really rich people. He's busting up industries and stuff or whatever. I don't know what he was doing. Don't come at me. You don't know the half of it. I don't care about a quarter of it. You don't know the half of it. But what I do know

is that he was, you know, he was obviously acting in a deplorable manner, but they, they, they, they did seem to, he did seem to ruffle a few feathers. They got rid of them. But now he's back and he's doing a radio show with Curtis Slewa, the guy who, uh, lost in the mayoral race against Eric Adams. And I don't, and it's called left versus right. I mean, they'll never stop with this, huh? They don't care what happens. Well, what disgraces people are a part of. They just go back to the left versus right paradigm. They don't care who they don't care what people have been convicted of as long as, because people are watching left versus right. Who's, who's going to win the debate? Adolf Hitler and fucking Jeffrey Epstein on left versus right. No one care. As long as it's a dumb

horse race style, meaningless political show where people will hurl insults at each other. They don't care that he was that taxing a child. It doesn't matter. It's left versus right. Yo, did you see, you listen to left versus right? Did you, did you see that? Did you see the point Jared Fogle made on left versus right? It was fucking good, dude. It was about taxes. Yeah. Yeah. I know. We had a thing with the kid, but listen to what he said about taxes on left versus right. What did you think about the Super Bowl halftime show? People were very happy. It's all this music. We grew up with Eminem and Mary J. Blige, Dr. J. 57. We didn't watch it. We left. We went to David Dobrik's house very briefly and I stood there and we were there

for what? About an hour? About one hour. Very, very, they're sweet people, but you know, I mean, I don't know a ton of people there and, uh, you know, the food was fine, but a lot of people had eaten it. Nah, we're talking to Jason, his friend Jason Nash. He's a very nice guy and and then we had to go do this episode. So we're like, okay, we just kind of scared out a beautiful home. He has a nice home. Um, but here's my thing. Here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll say. And he's done much better than me. He has a lot more money than me, but let me just, let me just say this about, why are you laughing? I'm not. Why are you nervous? I'm not saying anything bad. Here's the thing about real estate. I trust, you know what it is. I have the burden of taste.

It is a horrible burden. One that many people, uh, do not have to suffer with while they walk to the earth. And it is hard for me to look at a lot of these LA homes and see them as anything other than like grotesque, even though they're very beautiful and impressive and, and you grant whatever, but I look at these, uh, homes, these large doctor's offices is what they are. They're large doctor's offices and I just can't get into it. We don't need to show the home. We don't need to do that. We're not doing that. What a horrible producer you are. Why are you getting mad? Well, he does a lot of tours of his home. I know that, but we don't, we don't, we don't, we're doing a segment about the guy's home. I'm making a point about the aesthetic of, of the West coast real

estate that I can't fully know. There's some beautiful homes here, but just the modern style is not for me. Okay. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. Okay. We're not trying to start anything here. He's a lovely person. We did not even say hello to. He was busy. Does he speak English? He does, right? Does he have an accent? No, not really. I mean, the Canadian thing a little bit. Is he Canadian? I thought he was from somewhere else. I think he's Serbian or something. Well, we didn't see the halftime show at Slovakian, right? So this halftime show, you'd think you'd have some Slovakian food, you know, for the honor of his heritage, but there's none of that. People come to LA, they forget who they are. But I wanted some,

you know what I mean? It's a Slovakian, some Slovakian food, just Tik Tokers eating food of Slovakia. Yeah. Yeah, I don't care about this either. I mean, I'm, you know, I'm trying to care about this, but I just can't care. Here's what I'll say about it. I love the music, but it's like, seeing like the white chicks in their thirties or my age, like you're like, this is, here's the rock at like seeing like that, like that just, that just disgusting, like, like remember fucking Junior prom, you know, in the club, like when you see that, when you see these heifers doing that, it makes it less fun for me. You know, I mean, I don't know what to do, but that's, you know, it's a fact. We'll leave you with this, the great Lori Lightfoot ties carjacking

way to remote learning, uh, light foot watch. We got to come up with a, a thing for light foot watch, like a graphic and everything, a graphic. I mean, let's, I want to, I don't want to miss a, I don't want to miss a, a syllable out of this woman's mouth because it is rewarding to me on many levels. Um, so whatever she said, I don't even know yet, but the, the teacher's union has said, it is quote intellectually unsound and politically venal for the mayor to make such a connection. So there's no one that supports her in the state for all of our Chicago fans, the one, the only, the great Lori Lightfoot that we believe between remote learning and, um, and the rise in carjacking. Look, we started seeing this rise in cases in 2020 and I'll be frank

and say, um, in Chicago, um, there was a, uh, correlation that we believe between remote learning and, um, and the rise in carjacking. Um, having talked to safe attorneys who were dealing with these cases in juvenile court, um, and others, a lot of parents went to work during the day thinking their teenagers were logged on for remote learning only to find your stealing cars. And I asked, you know, is there some new market, uh, for stolen cars? And unfortunately, she's the best that for many of these kids, who some of them had no prior involvement in the criminal justice system. This was, um, pure boredom, but we're way past that point now. And we've got to bend the curve on this issue. This is why we've-

Yeah, well, here's what it is. You know, the kids, they're learning at home, it's boring, you know, so they go and steal the cars. They steal the cars. And what are you going to do? They're bored, they're kids. I mean, so the teachers union is going insane because she's essentially blaming them. She's going, yeah, well, you guys are doing remote learning. And maybe if your lessons were a little more, uh, compelling, the kids wouldn't be out stealing cars. How about not phoning it in when you're on zoom, make it good. Is this her quote here? No, this is from the public school's demand. Yeah. Public schools demanded apology. They go, every child in our public schools in Chicago deserves an apology from the mayor who claimed with zero evidence

that there was a correlation between remote learning in 2020 and Inglis and carjackings, which have been growing across the nation. So life is just blaming children. Yeah. To suggest that our students are somehow disproportionately responsible for these crimes is precisely the kind of scapegoating and smear tactics black and brown students and adults have had to contend with in any discourse about crime for generations. The great Lori lightfoot lightfoot watch again. We do appreciate you, Lori. Man, when she finally retires or is indicted or whatever happens to her, I will miss her. I mean, you have no idea. Wait a minute. What is this? So she was a some gang, but lightfoot's tied to a shooting that

happened in Austin, Texas as well that she had to answer. Wait a minute. Hold the phone. Are you telling me that my two favorite things, Lori lightfoot corrupt mayor of Chicago and the violent hellscape known as Austin, Texas are intersecting? How has this happened? Can you tell us because you produce our show? It's like a crossover episode. It's great. So months after publicly clashing over a deadly shootout in Austin, Mary Lori lightfoot and Cook County States attorney Kim Fox appeared together Thursday to announce gun charges against a man who was wounded in the gang related exchange of gunfire. Thomas Dean 20 was charged with aggravated unlawful use of weapon after he's found with three guns used in the shooting.

Fox said at least one was a machine gun at the time of arrest. Dean was facing three additional gun charges in a separate case, Cook County court record show. So lightfoot, then it ran him in and then his, his reach extended to, uh, to Texas, it seems. She's doing what she can here. Go to judge. Let's see if there's anything breaking on Ukraine before we get out of here. Have we gone to war with Ukraine? 48 hours to stop Europe from war, 130,000 Russian troops, last ditch bid for peace. Wow. What are you saying? What do you think? Uh, do you think we're headed into or, uh, Russia's going to invade the Ukraine? It seems to just be sort of a US media frenzy. Well, I don't know if it's only that. There's

something going on. I think we might be, uh, overstating it a bit. Well, you know what it is? No one's cared about the Olympics. COVID's almost over or is over and nobody gives a shit about the Olympics. So we need a war. We need something. We need to keep moving. We need to keep going here. I mean, and this is the way to do it. Let's get Russia involved. You know, we got a little news story out of it. I mean, the media has been at how many times you're going to play the Joe Rogan compilation. No one cares. Now, do you think Vladimir Putin's ever said the naughty word? I don't know. What if Vladimir Putin had a Spotify podcast? What if instead, what if

Spotify comes out and goes instead of invading the Ukraine, we're giving $500 million to Vladimir Putin and we're signing an exclusive deal and we're, we're bringing on Vladimir Putin to do an exclusive podcast. It would be great. But now everybody is like, wait a minute, what the fuck is going on? But now we've reached this weird news cycle where we, no one cares about anything. And we're supposed to, because we've all been through two years of caring way too much. And now it's like, I mean the Superbowl, the Ukraine, the carjackings, the kids with the guns, the crime, too much. People are just disconnecting now from anything. And they're doing a bad job of convincing you that they care. They don't, they can't. We need

a break. We need like a three month break from the news, like a 90 day sabbatical. They should just stop the news for like 90 days. They should not have the news for 90 days and let everybody just fucking fill the tank up again of curiosity. No one even cares. No one gives a fuck. Let us get curious again. Give us 90 days of reruns of stuff. Let us, you know, wet our beak with some trashy reality TV, put on the real housewives, let that guy chase the woman around with the gun. Let us entertain ourselves with that. And then three months later, come and tell us that Ukraine got their ass handed to them. But we can't handle it. You know, we need a break. Let's go dark for a minute.

I was at that thing tonight. You know, no one cares about anything. There's no feeling of positive or even negative. Like it's just so boring now. Everyone you talk to it's just an exercise in just boring, meaningless, banal nonsense. Nobody's got anything left to say. The vac shit. So it's all over. They write when comics still screaming about that. It's got no one's going to care in six months. Then what are you going to do? I mean, like these mandates have got to expire, right? They've got to expire. People don't care anymore. And I think after a while, they're just going to, these mandates will get defeated. They'll get defeated in the courts. Supreme court already struck a blow to one of them.

I just don't think it's going to be this big deal for the rest of our lives. I'm again hoping. You know, what the fuck do I know? But I'm just hoping. A bullish Russian ambassador said his leader, Mr. Putin, doesn't give a shit about the threat of Western economic sanctions because we're going to put sanctions on them. And they'll be fucked or maybe not. Here's the thing with the Russian, they'll tell their people it's going to be a lean winter. They'll tell them tighten it up. Sanctions are coming. Tighten up. Tighten up a little bit, you know? Sounds like America where everybody's like living like way beyond.

Like Putin will straight up tell the people and be like, Hey, tighten it up. See how that one meal you got on the table? Make it into two because we're about to fuck up some shit. I don't know. I go back and forth on it every day with Ukraine. Should they be attacked or not? Every time I'm in an Uber, I'm going, no. And then I go, yeah. I go, no. Then I go, yes. So I'm so divided. What are your thoughts on this? Well, the thing is if they're not actually going to war with the Ukraine, are we inadvertently sort of tanking Ukraine's economy because people won't do business with them? So if this is all like just for clicks and they're really not going to go to war, then this is like we're the bad guys,

right? No. You're oversimplifying it. There's a gay couple. They're both non-binary and they want to perform. They want to go to the Olympics and they're from Russia and they're being stopped from going to the Olympics and wearing the new non-binary gay flag with 15 different colors in it for every conceivable thing anyone could ever be. They're being stopped by the government of Russia. So we're going to have to go into a nuclear war for that. So I don't know what you're talking about about currency manipulation in economies. You're losing sight of the fucking prize here. The prize is that everybody lives happily ever after and peacefully, which is why we have to go to nuclear

war. That's why we need a nuclear war. It's quite simple. Quite simple. Who is this woman? This is some, I think, Ukrainian woman who's trying to join the troops. Well, I'll tell you right now. My money's on Russia. Take a look at her. She's 80 years old. She joins civilians, weapons training with Ukraine troops. I gotta be honest. I'm putting my money on Russia. I have a lot of respect for this woman and that's great. But if I was a betting man, I'm not. But if I was, I'm going to go with Russia over this elderly woman. She looks like Betty White. She's like Betty White with a Kalishnikov. I don't know if that's going to do it. That may not do it. Betty White with a AK-47.

I don't know. I don't know. Putin will vaporize her. But you know what she's doing there. And this is, people don't even understand this photo. Russian troops were yelling at trans people and misgendering them. This woman is pointing a gun at the Russian troops as if to say that will not be tolerated. We must go to nuclear war. I don't see another way around that. If every country in the world does not have the values that we do, we should go to nuclear war with them to help the citizens of that country. It's pretty simple. If you were gay and you were in Russia and things aren't great and I'm not saying they are, even though in the big cities

like Moscow and St. Petersburg it's probably better, but let's say you were a gay person. You were living in Russia and you were dealing with attitudes you didn't like. Some of those attitudes for sure being propagated by the government. Wouldn't you rather be, wouldn't you rather sanction so you didn't have food? Or wouldn't you rather be nuked? That's a fair point. And I'm not for Russians shitting on gay people or whatever. I think that's you know, it's horrible. And I don't know to the extent that they're I mean, I think it's bad. It's not good. Again, Ukraine's nationalist. This is all false flag. I mean, this is no, this is all I'm thinking. Yeah. I mean, this is clearly like best case is Russia doing this

as a justification for an invasion. Worst case it's, you know who we are somehow involved in this and we are send that's Rambo right there. By the way, we are sending Minecraft kids over here to pretend to be Ukrainian nationalists to go to Russia into some type of military activity. Because this doesn't seem real, but I could be wrong. There's like six of them, by the way. There's six Ukrainian nationalists. I mean, you know, this is some type of op. You can smell this right. You can smell it already. They got the old woman with the gun. She cares about a country so much. I mean, you can, you can kind of feel the narrative taking shape. The Ukrainian nationalists are training. Look at this old woman. She cares so much.

The elderly are going to come out with weapons. The old people are coming out with their guns. So I don't know who wants to war Russia, us England, everyone already above. The only people that probably don't are fucking Ukraine. These poor fucks. They're not doing anything. They're just their economy is being destroyed. And maybe Putin does go in. I don't know. I'm not making a fucking prediction. I don't really know. You know, I did. I'm in the process of purchasing a home. I'm not going to tell people where, but I'm going to say that we're going to have another studio for a few months. We're going to do so. We're going to be

temporarily relocated from where we live now. Beverly Austin. We're adding another place and we might have a little studio there. And this is not going to affect anyone, but it's on the East Coast. So for July, August, we're going to be maybe a little beaching, a little East Coast studio just for the months of July, August. I don't know if the house will go through or not, but it will be in a few months. That might be a fun thing. We love this studio. It's a great studio. But we're going to do a little, I think a little summer studio might be fun too. And we're going to, and what do you think that would look like? So we got umbrellas for sure. And I don't know that's hacky.

You're going to go hack like that? That's what Tony pizza was thinking. I know, but we did this one's classy. We got big cactuses and I mean, I want to do something. It'd be cool if we had a big animatronic like shark. What I want to do, you calm down. What I want to do is get one of those really, those light, those pictures that light up, you know, but we'll also do some episodes from here. But we got to also, we can't ignore the East Coast. We have to have a little, we had a great, I did a great run of podcasts out there. And I just said, we got to have a presence over there too. It really makes sense. If nothing else, but for to support the Ukrainian nationalists,

how great would it be next week? We like for it's like the rise in carjacking is directly tied to an uptick in violent nationalism in the Ukraine. There's violent nationalism in the Ukraine right now. And I stand with my brother, Vladimir Putin at trying to get rid of the violent terrorist threat of Ukrainian nationalists. Many of them are here in Chicago stealing our cars. It's quite disgusting. TimMillencomedy.com. We have some dates. This Thursday, I'm going to be in Tampa, Florida, and then Friday, Orlando, Sunday, San Antonio, Wednesday, Portland, Maine, Thursday, Providence, Rhode Island, Saturday. There's all these dates, of course, Albany, New York, Concord, New Hampshire, Toronto, Ontario. Finally, the 16th of March,

Baltimore, Maryland, Friday, the 18th, the 19th, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Nashville, Tennessee, Thursday, March 24th, the 26th, Denver. We have two shows. We're shooting a special. Our last shows on the road for a while are Glasgow, Dublin, and London. And then we're pretty much done. I'm doing to May at the Las Vegas Mirage. I'm going to bomb. I have no material. And then a casino in Baton Rouge. Who cares? We're going to put the hour out hopefully in April. And then we'll put it out. We'll be done. And then we'll wait three or four more months. I won't be screaming about nurses anymore and whatever else I'm doing. My family and Disney World. And if you guys have seen the set, you've seen it. That'll be out. And then we'll be maybe

doing some live podcasts every now and then, but concentrating a lot on the show, getting it out on time. We still do two episodes a week, one on Patreon, one here on YouTube, always free. And we'll be, you know, consistently doing that. And we won't be on the road. It'll be a lot easier. I know that it's been frustrating for you. It's been frustrating for us balancing everything, going on the road, on the level we are, and doing the show. But we've got the entire spring and summer of that not happening. So we'll be focusing on really making this show great, whether it's from here or from the new little studio on the East Coast. You know, perhaps that could be very interesting. As always, you know, we leave you with our ticket link timdilloncomedy.com.

No merch. People ask you about merch. It'll come. It'll come. Supply chain problems. We're figuring out how to do this the best way. The NFT will come. Relax. We don't have it right now. But it'll come. It'll come. Don't worry your little head about it. Don't drive through Beverly Hills drunk or sober with those fucking psychopaths. You think they're going to get us on the way back? Potentially. How great would it be if they got us on the way back? They're listening to the episode in the car. They pull us over. Every time you go to defend them every time,

you know, they just react in a crazy way. I felt like that guy was baiting me, trying to get me to say something so that he could take me in for further testing. This is exactly what I thought was happening. Right? 100%. Yeah. Yeah. He's about 10 times he circled back. Like, you sure you don't want to say it to my face though? Because you can. You're allowed to. Yeah. That's, that's what they try to do.

Here's the reality, folks. If you're in a situation with the cops, truly, if you're in a situation with the cops, there's two options. You have to literally just follow everything that they tell you to do, or you have to kill them. Good night.