The Tim Dillon Show - 288 - The Real Housewives of Cotino
Episode Date: February 20, 2022Tim talks about the new dismal communities Disney is developing, why you will rent from Blackstone forever, the tragedy in the Hamptons and Prince Andrew going to the Queen for money. Bonus episodes... every week: ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow See Tim Live on the road: ▶▶ http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: 🩳 UNDERWEAR: Order with PROMO CODE Tim ▶▶ https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ 🔒 VPN: Get three months free ▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon 🔵 BLUE CHEW : Use promo TD ▶▶ https://bluechew.com/ 👨🦱 HAIR LOSS: ▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon 📦 SHIPPING: Enter code TIMDILLON ▶▶ https://www.shipstation.com/ 🎧 HEADPHONES: For 15% off! ▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim 🚬 QUIT SMOKING: Use code TIM: ▶▶ https://lucy.co 💆THERAPY ▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMD 📦 BOX OF AWESOME ▶▶ http://boxofawesome.com use code TIMDILLON at checkout for 20% off HELLO FRESH ▶▶ Go to https://www.hellofresh.com/timdillon12 for 12 free meals including free shipping! BIRD DOGS! ▶▶ https://www.birddogs.com/ use code TIMDILLON DOORDASH ▶▶ Download the Doordash app and enter code TIMDILLON to get 25% off. MINT MOBILE ▶▶ https://mintmobile.com/timdillon Get your new wireless bill for 15 bucks a month! VERSUS GAME ▶▶ https://apps.apple.com/us/app/versusgame/id1536931360 Get five dollars toward your first bet use code TIM! SIMPLI SAFE ▶▶ https://simplisafe.com/timdillon to save 20% MUD\WTR ▶▶ https://mudwtr.com/tim use code TIM for $5 off DRAFTKINGS ▶▶Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now and use code TIMDILLON FRESHLY ▶▶Go to https://freshly.com/timdillon for 40 dollars off your first two orders. ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ 🐦 Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon 🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows 📹 Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC161r7ShBvMxfyzCtiSMRbg Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▶▶ Ed McMahon benavery33@gmail.com https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ #TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. A lot of fun. We're going to have this
episode. A lot of fun. But first, let's do some housekeeping. I'm going to be the Ridgefield
Playhouse on February 25th, I believe. Yeah. In Ridgefield, Connecticut. If you want to grab
your tickets to that small room into mid show, about 500 seats, we're going to see
half of them sold out today when we announced. And then hopefully we'll get to a second show
up there as well. Our friend, Yannis Pappas may stop by and do some guest spots. He lives right
in that area. So that should be a lot of fun. Prince Andrew friend of the show
settled a sexual, what was it? Misconduct lawsuit and civil sex case civil sex case. Now,
you know, Prince Andrew friend of Jeffrey Epstein, Jeffrey Epstein and Giselaen Maxwell
named in this lawsuit with Virginia Guffrey who claims she was forced to have sex with him,
forced to have sex with him on three occasions in 2001 after being trafficked by his pedophile
pal Jeffrey Epstein and Giselaen Maxwell. And it was the result of intense negotiations between
both sides that were finalized on Monday. A source with knowledge of the complex deal suggested it
was only after Andrew was able to provide proof that the remaining funds would be available
from the $17 million sale of a Swiss chalet he owned with his former wife, Sarah Ferguson.
You know what I say to Virginia Guffrey, get that money baby. A lot of people might be angry at her
because they want to see this guy, you know, you, they want to see him in jail.
But these people, she doesn't owe you anything. She's a trafficking victim and listen, she went
through hell and however she decides to deal with it is how she, and the queen is giving her money.
Queen Elizabeth. To the sex abuse charity, so it's like it's indirect. To a sex abuse charity.
What's the queen's name? Is it Elizabeth? Elizabeth, yeah. Queen Elizabeth donating money to the,
I mean, you know that's coming up at Christmas when she talks to Prince Andrew and are donated
$2 million to a charity because of your behavior. So you know that's going down.
A royal source said, quote, she could not be seen making a payment to a victim of sexual assault
who accused her son of being an abuser, but a deal was structured in such a way to arrange
a sizable financial contribution to the settlement by way of a charitable donation and said,
so everything's over now. COVID's over. Epstein's over. You got to get a new script.
Everything is over. Whatever you want to talk about is done. There was no reckoning.
There was no bomb that went off. There was no explosion. QAnon was fake. Nothing happened.
Nobody went to jail. They didn't open up. Gitmo. Nobody got locked up. Nothing happened. All your
QAnon influencers have moved on to the vaccine. They're going to move on from that in a few months
too. Trust me. It's, you know, there is no season finale that anybody was happy with. And this will
be the final story of this case, which again was a pretty earth shattering case that there was an
island in this, which now everyone's bored of it already and everyone's like, whatever,
but let's just, cause we're not going to talk about, I get flacked. People go, we want more.
And I go, there's nothing left. We've picked it all off the bone. There's nothing here,
but just a fun recap as we leave the topic for a while, unless there's something new,
there was an island in the South Pacific owned by a guy who was a billionaire pedophile and
people would go to it to fuck kids on the island. And those people were running the world. That's
all proven. That's all real and proven. And this will be the final story that this weird kind of
guy, Prince Andrew, who seems a little, he's on the spectrum neuro divergent is, you know,
paying this woman some money who went through Helen was trafficked by Jeffrey and just laying.
She's laying, I guess we'll just be in jail until they kill her or whatever, however they're going
to deal with her, but it's over. And I mean, there, again, there, there was no real
resolution as there wasn't going to be. I mean, just laying max, well, they'll sacrifice her.
She'll end up in jail and they'll either get rid of her or whatever is going to happen is going
to happen. But again, this wasn't going to bring down like all the dominoes. We're not going to
fall here. I mean, that's pretty obvious to everyone now. This is seemingly the final story.
This reminds me of COVID now. It's like, it's like they're taking the last mask, you know,
they're going to take the mask off the last kid at gym and they'll be like, and done.
And they throw it in the garbage, run free, run free and breathe now. Sorry, we masked you for
two years outside. Seems insane. Run free and breathe. So this is what it is now. I mean,
blackmail is gone. I guess pretty digital. I'm sure that you'll still see a honeypot here and
there, but this is the, uh, this is yet, and they'll, they'll sell that island. They'll flip
that island to somebody else who'll do the same thing on it. Probably what is that island suited
for? What are you going to do? Black rock, which is the, what's amazing to me now is the, uh,
the, and we've been following this. I spoke to Mullen about it when I was in New York and he
made some great points about corporate landlords just owning everything in America, individual
landlords, uh, disappearing people, not having to pay their rent. So then a lot of these landlords
have to sell their properties. And then, um, you know, who comes in and buys them black rock,
black rock or black stone, same thing, right? Um, black stone buys 12,000, uh,
Sunbelt apartments for $5.8 billion. Um, this is from zero hedge. Wall Street won't rest until
it becomes the biggest and perhaps only landlord in the U S on Wednesday, blackstone cemented
its position as America's largest residential and commercial landlord by buying, uh, apartment
owner preferred apartment communities in a deal valued at 5.8 billion, demonstrating the unstoppable
investor demand for multifamily, ie rental properties in Sunbelt States. According to
Wall Street Journal, blackstone will pay $25 a share in cash for the Atlanta based real estate
investment trust. That represents a premium of roughly 39% over the closing price on February
the ninth the day, uh, before Bloomberg news reported the REIT was exploring options, including
a sale. So the deal includes more than 40, uh, rental apartment properties, including 12,000
units in States, uh, including Florida, Tennessee and Georgia. That's what they mean by Sunbelt.
Preferred apartment also owns 54 grocery anchored shopping centers anchored by grocery stores,
probably like publics. About 70% of the deal's value is in its rental apartments. Wow.
So blackstone, now they're ramping up its bet on U S rental housing, blackstone. I want you to
think about this is fun. We like, we like, we like to read the article and go, huh, why is this,
this keeps falling down here. I keep, I keep adjusting this and it doesn't matter. It just
keeps. Um, so listen to this, blackstone has been aggressively ramping up its bet on U S
rental housing. The firm has agreed to buy two other companies that own apartments in the past
two months, building up its presence in States, including Colorado, Texas, Arizona and Georgia.
Well, what do they mean by that? Ramping up its bet on U S rental housing. Well, they're betting
and they're correct that people are not going to be able to own homes or that more people
in the future are going to rent. This is their bet and they're probably correct
because the cost of home ownership in this country is, I mean, ludicrous, especially in
places where you'd want to live. So companies like blackstone go, listen, the future is going to be
the gig economy where you have people that hop from gig to gig and they're going to be permanent
renters and that's what it's going to be. They're not going to own property. They may not even own
a car. They're going to use services like Uber and Lyft and they're going to rent an apartment.
They're not going to own much of anything. And according to that article, you're going to love
it. You're going to be happy. And you know, the American dream is, is, uh, turning from
home ownership and family to something else entirely. It's really what it's becoming. It used
to be the American dream as, as stated now, you know, the, uh, how possible it was. And
you know, whether it was legit, then certainly more legit seeming than now. Yes. Of course,
it didn't include every, but what about non binary poets? I know. Yes. I know that that's,
I under, yes. Thank you. They were left out, but the American dream was a family and property
kind of right. Community based on those things, family property. You own property. You have a
family. You're in a community. There's industry. The community thrives. Everybody kind of succeeds
together, fails together. There's an investment. There are social commitments. Things are more
local. Now things are global. You don't have a family. Everybody lives in a city. Everybody's
alone. Everybody's on only fans flicking their bean. Everybody's taking multiple pills just to
get out of bed in the morning and then another round of pills just to get back into bed at night.
People are severed from their community. They're severed
from any social commitments. The only communities there are part of our digital communities
that are incredibly toxic that are centered around overthrowing the government or owning
a picture of an ape, but life has changed. The American dream has changed and Blackstone gets
this. They know where we're going. They're not dummies. They can see it. They got out of the
hell. They can afford this. They're going to rent and they'll be happy to do it.
People go, why do I need a home? I don't have a family.
What do I need a home? I have houses and I don't really need houses, but they're good
investments and I like houses and I certainly have friends over, but I don't need a house because
I don't have a family. So I don't need a house, but I guess nobody needs anything. But the reason
to have it, like Ben and his wife always remind me that I don't need a home. They always go,
you don't need to live in a house. You don't have a family because they're heterosexuals,
so they're going to have a family. So that means they deserve a house. So I should give my house to
them. I have multiple homes. I should give them all to them, but that's the point because I don't
need it as a gay guy who's single. I don't need square footage. I don't need space. I'm to give
it to them. Well, no, they can get it. They can get their own, but I'm always constantly told I
don't need a house and they're, they're, they're, they're right to that to an extent because I don't
have a family, but that is why most people buy houses. So as families, you know, family formation
is low and it's happening later in life. People who don't need to buy fucking houses. Now you've
brought up an interesting chart here. The national rent index up 18% year over year. Why don't you
tell the people about this chart that you brought up? So it's, why are you laughing?
I didn't, I didn't ever say you didn't know you and your wife have constantly, I've never said that.
You've constantly, if a house is like seven bedrooms before, I'm like, I don't think you need
seven beds. I think I've said that, but I don't think I've said, but it's, it's because
yes, it is. You've made me feel bad for being gay and you've said that gay people don't deserve
homes. Well, gay people, a lot of us have more money than you as a straight person because if you
didn't meet me, you'd be working to tilling the land. I don't know what the hell you'd be doing,
but gay people have higher than average incomes in their creative, but you're telling, what if I
want to adopt kids? What if I want to adopt children? I'm for that. To fill the rooms, buy the
space and fill the rooms. Now, if I adopted a child, could you get it for me and figure it out?
Yeah, it's a long process. So you need lawyers. How involved do I have to be? I read a book about
it. It's a pretty good deal. Why didn't you read a book about it? It was in a book. You read a book
about gay adoption? No, not gay adoption, but just adoption in general. It was in Bubble Watson's
book. He's a PGA tour player. He talks about adopting kids and it took him a long time. Yeah,
it took about a year. Even Bubble Watson. He's got tons of money. He's a millionaire. He had to get
on planes. He's in a drunk though. No, no, he's sober. He's dead sober. Oh, who's the drunk who loves
Trump? John Daly. Yeah, because him I get they go, let's give it a take a beach when we give you a
kid. But so it's, I've always heard this and adoption is very hard. That's my whole thing with
abortion. Abort and I'm for abort, but I'm like, listen, maybe we make adoption easier so that it's
not, we're not putting these kids in mills, right? It's a nice time out for the woman, nine months,
nice time out. You get to eat whatever you want, sit on the bed, put her on the temporary, get her
a tub of ice cream and then give the kid to somebody who can't have it. I always thought that was the
way to do it. Give her some pickles. You know, they get weird cravings. Give her pickles, a tub of
Rocky road, pop the baby out and then give it to family. But why is it so hard to adopt a kid?
I think everything is about it. I hate to say it. I don't want to sound like a paranoid person,
but it's really all about it's all sex traffic. Yes. It's true. It's like
CPS, the child protective services is like, and I want to have a Eliza blue on the, uh,
human trafficking. Did you follow her on Twitter? I want to know if she knows anything about this
CPS cause they're, they're, they're crazy what they do. They just take kids and then, you know,
they go, you know, they, nobody knows what happens to the kids, but they, they take them out of these
situations that are supposedly bad. And I'm not saying that all of these situations aren't bad,
but these kids end up in foster care and in the link between that and trafficking, it's crazy.
But I think we need to make adoption easier. But what I'm saying about, uh, this is when you
guilt me and you attack me and say, you don't, because you've said multiple times to me when
I had my mansion in Palm Springs or my, my, uh, big, big, uh, kind of like a mini mansion in the
valley. And you were like, Oh, you don't need this. But I told you a million fucking times.
I want to have a Christmas party with Logan Paul and Barry Weiss. That's the whole fucking point
of having to square footage is to, is to have a party with everyone and, and you, and you demean,
I'm just saying, I don't want to be demeaned. Tell them about the rental chart. So it says here that,
uh, like, if you look at the chart here, 2020 to 2021, it was down 1.4% but then 21 to 2022,
up 17.8% United States annual rent growth. Yeah. More people are going to be renting from here on
out. That seems to be the case. Yeah. It's going to be, you know, we shut it down. Uh,
we destroyed people's ability to earn a living and earning income. We fucked up people's credit.
You know, we, we, we, we stopped, you know, a lot of forward momentum that people had in their
lives. Uh, you know, I just had a friend of mine who a guy grew up with from high school,
looks the same in high school. It's kind of crazy. You know, he, he looks, he looks the
exact same. This guy came over to the house that we had dinner with. He looks the exact same
as he did 20 years ago in high school. It's fucking insane, right? I do too, probably,
but it's not good. Said more about me then maybe, but he's in Canada and we were chatting briefly
about this, you know, true dough is authorizing banks, you know, true dough son of Fidel Castro.
Is that proven not let's just say it's true. Justin Trudeau is authorizing banks to unilaterally
freeze accounts of truckers and people who support the truckers on the basis of suspicion
alone, no court order required with legal immunity. So this is, we've seen over the last year and
the last couple of years, people get deep platformed. They kick people offline, freeze
people's bank accounts, the media doxxus people. I've never, this is the craziest stuff that I've
seen in my life other than kidnapping people after 9 11 and putting them in boxes underground
and letting bugs crawl on them and murdering them. That was also bad and no one that's
complaining now was complaining then, but I get it. People felt a little vulnerable,
but that was also very bad. Look into that. That was also not great. Like freezing the
bank accounts is very bad, but I mean, if people look, this has never been done. I'm like, well,
not really. People just picked up at airports and then tortured mercilessly for months and they
did nothing wrong and people didn't really care about that. All these people that are on and on
about this and rightly so. They weren't so much on about that. They didn't really care about that.
Now they're like, well, it's, but this is crazy that they're doing this. And let's watch this woman.
I mean, this is insane. When people talk about social credit score and heading into this system
and people go, no, you're, you're a fucking conspiracy guy. Not going to happen.
Well, he's not going to happen here. Already we're marching towards that very quickly in
Canada. It's not, it's like our Northern neighbors. So let's see what's going on here.
We are broadening the scope of Canada's anti-money laundering and terrorist financing rules
so that they cover crowdfunding platforms and the payment service providers they use.
These changes cover all forms of transactions including digital assets such as cryptocurrencies.
That's right. The illegal blockades have highlighted the fact that crowdfunding platforms
and some of the payment service providers they use are not fully captured under the proceeds
of crime and terrorist financing act. Our banks and financial institutions are already obligated
to report. I mean, it really is hard to see a future for the world that doesn't involve just
ordinary. And now again, please, I mean, I don't even want to say this because, you know,
we're on like one of these things. This is a satirical show. It's a comedy show and I'm a satirist,
but that having been said, it is hard to imagine a future and I don't want this.
Okay. I don't want this, but it's hard to imagine a future that doesn't involve regular people
engaging in acts of terrorism against the government. And I don't want that to happen,
but I'm trying to imagine a future where I don't see like as I go to bed at night when I'm thinking
about what could happen in the future. I'm trying to imagine a future where regular people,
certain portions of them are not tempted to take up arms against it. Governments, if governments
basically go, okay, peaceful protests are not allowed and we can take all of your rights and
we can force your kids to be masked and we can destroy their quality of life and we can destroy
your quality of life and we can take all your money and, and, and, and we're coming out of this
in states, but in Canada, they're just, you know, they're still fucking with them. And the truckers
who have been largely, it's been peaceful and of course to media is, you know, planted a few swastikas
and done all, you know, I mean, the opposition, you know, they've done what they can do to try
to frame these people as racist psychopaths, but it isn't true. They just don't want to get a vaccine
that's efficacy has been in certainly some level of debate. And they don't believe they don't want
mandates. They don't want these things. And, and, and they're doing peaceful protests and blockades.
And, but again, I mean, it's not, you know, they're not looting and lighting things on fire,
right? From what I've seen, they're not engaging in like violent, they're not ripping people out
of cars, but the government's now going, we're coming in, taking all the crypto and we're taking
any funding you're getting. Anybody that's supporting you, we're going to take, cause we don't
agree. Now black lives matter. They said, millions and millions of unaccounted four dollars and
everybody was supporting that in Hollywood celebrity. Everybody's going out and going,
Hey, this is great. And all the money in Amazon, all these big companies were like,
we're supporting you. But this people are like, if you send money to them, we're going to freeze
your account, your money laundering. If you're supporting this cause at all, if you're supporting
this cause in any way with money, with crypto, we're going to come after you and, and, and so
I'm trying to imagine a future and I'm hoping I hope that I can do it, but I'm trying to imagine
a future where you don't eventually see if these types of things continue. People that are truly
hopeless and destitute cause now they don't have any money and they can't get into their bank
account. You know, I, I, I'm trying to imagine a future where people don't get radicalized and
you know, start acting up, but I don't know. I mean, we are in Toronto. We still have tickets
available. March 16th that that show will be happening. We've been told we've been told it's
going to happen. That's what I think. I, and I, I'm, I'm cautiously optimistic about that.
Let's talk about this, uh, Disney story because part of what I find very interesting all the time is
what Disney does. They're a very interesting company. They're incredibly secretive.
They don't let anybody in. Remember at the end of the Florida project, didn't have to shoot that
with a phone cause nobody can, nobody can film in Disney. There's never been really a good Disney
documentary, right? Right. He's never been a dark Disney and you know, shit goes down,
but you know, you know what I mean? I get a bad feeling from Disney world. I have some jokes in
my act about it. I don't like it. I don't like it. And it doesn't mean that I don't recognize
its contributions to the American cultural landscape. I don't really, you know, not a ton of them,
but it's, it's a disease kind of it's a sickness, you know, and I don't, and I don't know what can
be done about it because people adore it. I even respect people that love it and people like it.
And it's, it's this eternal Peter Pan syndrome that, that people have people, people really
enjoy their childhoods. And if they feel that they've been slighted in any way during their
childhood, or if they've missed anything, they have to continually make up for it all the time.
That's why they had these crazy things like the adult summer camps where people that didn't get a
chance to go to summer camp would then go as an adult. And instead of going, well, I'm not going
to get everything out of life. You can't get everything you want. You can't have every experience.
Some people are unable to admit that they just missed out on so you can't go back to college
at a certain age. It's not the experience you would have had, right? But Disney world doesn't
seem to be like that. People just connect with it at any age and they just feel and it's, it's odd
and whatever. And, and, and so now these, these people who are again, they're unwell. They're
not well people, but something is happening now where they're, they're, they're, they're marketing
to them. And they're, they're, God help us now. There are Disney communities explain that to people.
So it's a new master plan community and they're going to do it out in, out in the Coachella Valley
where Walt Disney famously lived out there. This is going to be in California. In California. Yeah.
This is going to be your part of Disney all the time. So the, the water is going to be that crystal
blue turquoise somehow constantly flowing through the river. So here's, here's what it says here.
Have you ever visited a Disney theme park resort with its perfectly manicured and clean scrub grounds?
By the way, that's not true a lot in a lot of the cases, but listen to listen to even how sick the
article sounds. Have you ever visited a Disney theme park resort with its perfectly manicured
and clean scrubbed grounds whimsical yet reassuring architecture? Why use the word reassuring?
Do you see how sick it is? Do you see how sick it is reassuring? What, what are you,
what do you need to be reassured of through the architecture? Okay. Clean scrubbed grounds,
whimsical yet reassuring architecture, chirpy employees and general sense of cheery optimism
and thought, how great would it be if you could take a permanent residence there?
That's the sort of idea behind the mouse house's latest venture. Disney branded master planned
home communities. God help us. Today the company announced story living by Disney. Again, the,
the coupling of words story living fills me with a sense of dread.
Story living by Disney. I'm scared about what the next few lines of this will be,
which will be a part of the same division that oversees its theme parks, Disney cruise line
and other experiences. The first community, which will be known as Cotino, because it's by Coachella,
which is the fairgrounds out in the desert by Palm Springs, where all these rich kids go and dress like
Native Americans, the headdresses in Dumali and jump around to 21 pilots. Now, by the way,
this may be a better use of the desert than that. Let me not judge. It's kind of a throwaway part of
the world over there. It's pretty, uh, just a bunch of people. So the first community,
which will be known as Cotino and include about 1,900 housing units will be in the Palm Springs
city of Rancho, Mirage, California. I'm getting scared now. I'm 10 because we're about to cover
something in Hamptons. I'm very, very scared about what's happening here. This is not good.
Palm Springs, if you've ever been out there is a fucking cool community. 1950s, those old
mid-century modern homes, old cars, really cool history. There's a lot of shit. Hollywood, you
know, famous old Hollywood, Sinatra and all this shit. I'm a little worried now that some that
Cotino is about to open a community for sick. I'm going to tell you right now,
there is a mobile home park in Florida full of pedophiles. Okay.
I'm telling you right now, between having to live there or Cotino, I'm torn.
Quote, there is incredible demand for all things Disney. Our fans continue to look for new ways to
engage with us to keep Disney as part of their lives, says Josh Di Amaro, Chairman of Disney
Parks, Experiences and Products. At the branded communities he has, you could be part of Disney
all the time. Wouldn't it get, wouldn't it get a little sick? Don't you think you'd get sick of it?
On day, I don't know, 48? Maybe, maybe we'd take these fucks to like month three.
You know, the end, but don't, don't you think eventually you'd say to yourself, oh, I've had enough?
As for the story living name, this is truly chilling. It's chilling. I was talking to a guy
I forget, but I think it was on Grindr. It might have been on Craigslist. It was very,
it was a long time ago and I said something to him and he said, a chill ran down my spine,
which wasn't good. I don't know what I said, but he said, a chill just ran down my spine,
but then he stopped talking to me. I think it was bad. As for the story living name,
communities will capitalize on the company's sense of storytelling and place making.
Instead of telling Mickey Mouse tales, however, they will focus on the culture,
history, experience, food and other attributes of the places in which they will be built. Coachella?
Plans call for centerpiece lagoon with a beach that will be accessible
to members of the community's private club. Every single element of these communities
will be steeped in a story. The residency says we'll be active participants in the stories.
What? I don't even know what that means. What does that even mean? I don't know.
They have an ad here for it. Let's watch this ad. We can legally play this because it's,
this is sick. Okay, here we go. If I'm telling you right now, if, if, if you are going,
if this excites you in the least, you have very deep problems. If there's anything about this,
if, if you are responding to this in any other way, then what is appropriate,
which is a proportional sense of horror and fear. I'm afraid. How many areas will they ruin with
this? I'm afraid. And by the way, does it wait till Marvel gets involved? Hey, who likes Batman?
You want to live with Spider-Man all the time? And maybe it's DC. Don't at me. I don't give a
fuck. I'm saying when Disney starts these fantasy communities for sick fucks who just want to live
in a fucking movie for the rest of their lives, all of these mega corporations are, they're just
going to build a big Nike town and everybody's going to be walking around to dump sneakers.
I'm telling you, it's trouble. Troubles are brewing. And if you don't see these trends for
what they are, if you don't see these trends as a massive problem, it is good. I can't help you.
If you don't think, if you think it's a good idea for Disney to build communities, a corporation
like Disney world to build communities that look like movies for people to pretend to be in a movie
all day, if you think that's a good idea, then I can't help you. Let's watch the ad.
I can't wait till the first guy kills his wife and they go, well, this wasn't part of the story.
I'm telling you, man, it's disturbing because it's only the beginning, right?
I mean, it's only the beginning. What about Bucky's? They'll have a community too.
Probably. Bucky's, why not? The big, what is it, a beaver?
Yeah, it's a big beaver. A big Walmart beaver that everybody loves. Bucky's,
it's a big Walmart type of store. With a beaver, why not have a Bucky's plan community?
Bucky's beaver where instead of water in the fall, it's corn syrup.
I'm telling you, man, this is the beginning of corporations designing communities.
And by the way, BlackRock, all these guys, they'll all get in bed with this. They'll go,
yeah, you can rent, you can start, you can rent here. And then eventually
some of Cotino's neighborhoods will be designed for residents 55 and older,
a market which Disney seems especially interested in.
Families with young children and people of all ages will be able to purchase properties.
You think there'll be a hood? You think there'll be a rough area in Disney?
Like, do you think Cotino will have a hood? You think there'll be a rough area in the Disney
community? I hope so. You think there'll be any area in the Disney community where they'll just
open air drug markets, fentanyl needles, people getting shot. Quote, baby boomers are moving
into retirement. They're going to be moving into retirement communities. That's true.
It says Daryl Fairweather, chief economist for Seattle based real estate brokerage, Redfin.
Why not have it be a Disney branded retirement community? Oh, I don't know Daryl,
fucking common sense, taste, decency, dignity. Daryl, if you heard any of those words, have you
fucking ever come in contact with any of those concepts, perhaps Google them? Why not have it
be a Disney branded retirement community? I don't know because hopefully not every elderly person
is fucking insane. Disney world should be a four day thing. You put Mickey Mouse years on grandma
grandpa. It's hot. They take naps. You have a fucking Mickey waffle and you get the fuck out of
there. You don't live there for the rest of your life. You sick fuck. How much do you want to give
to? How much do you want to give this corporation? Their movies aren't even that good. How much do
you want to give these people? How much do you want to give this Nazi in his fucking cartoons?
How many pounds of flesh must you deliver them?
Proof of vaccination is no longer required to get into Disney Park. Well, that's nice.
Disney says that amenities will include live entertainment, wellness programming and seminars.
Plans call for centerpiece lagoon. Yeah, we went over that.
There will be public components of Cotino as well, including a hotel and entertainment,
and here's what disturbs me about it. People are going to love it. Oh yeah. People, I mean are,
I mean people are going to love it so much and this is what scares me. They're going to go fuck
Palm Springs all that history and fuck it. I want to go to Cotino, a community built 15 minutes ago
by corporate psychopaths and I want to visit Cotino because my cousin just moved there. They're
doing their story living in Cotino. What's that? Well, living's not enough. See, that's how they
came up with story living. An executive sat in the room and went, living's not enough. People need a
story. We got to give them a story. Well, can't they create their own stories? Well, we thought they
could, but apparently they can't. That's why they keep coming back to our shit park. So we've
created a story for them. We've built a community where the water is a blue, like Gatorade color,
nothing's real. Everything's ugly and neon and brightly colored and everyone's happy at every
moment of the day. No matter who's getting raped, everybody's thrilled. No matter how
diseased and drug addicted and no matter the famine that's going on outside of these gates,
they're chirpy and happy because we think Disney should be about happiness no matter what the hell
is going on. We don't care outside of Cotino. The world will be going to hell in a handbasket,
but we put up those gates and put a lot of guys with guns outside and inside it's all Mickey
waffles and smiles because it's Cotino. Now, if it works, it won't stop with Disney. It will expand
other Carl's Jr. will have a community. I'm telling you, all of these corporations,
they will keep doing this. They will realize that people need their entire lives to be planned
and managed for them and they will try to provide people some refuge from the horrors
of existence by creating these serene corporate environments of like-minded people and you're
going to live around all these people who saw Lady in the Tramp and it had such an effect on them
that they never wanted to do anything else with their life and they're going to live in these
places and it will never, it's not going to stop with Disney. Disney will be the most successful
and the biggest, but then other, other companies are going to start to do this as well. All the
fucking DC and Marvel and all that comic book shit.
Despite bearing its name, Disney will not own the communities or be the developer of record,
nor will it be building or selling the homes. It will be partnering with third parties to handle
those functions because they want to keep their hands off it for when it gets sticky.
However, Disney's fabled imagineer is the band of creatives who bring the parks animatronic
Pirates to life will have a hand in designing Cotino and future community. As for the public
face of the communities, Disney will manage the marketing and sales efforts and once the
communities are up and running, it's quote cast members, Disney speak for employees, cast members,
cast members. Oh, is that person being nice to me? No, they're an actor, they're cast.
Oh, I like living. Is that what it's going to be? It's going to be like the beginning of Beauty and
Beast. Bonjour. Bonjour. Welcome to Starbucks in Cotino. Would you like a coffee? How are you?
Your daughter's cutting herself. She has issues. But don't worry. It's a smiles in Cotino.
Da, da, da. Bonjour. Bonjour. My wife has cancer. Bonjour. It's happy time. We're happy no matter what.
Turns out that the legendary founder of the company owned a home and frequented the Coachella Valley
region in which Cotino will be located. Walt Disney treated the area like his creative oasis,
says Michael Hungrin, executive producer with Walt Disney Imagineering. We love our residents to
treat this as their creative oasis and explore the next chapter of their lives. Quote, Walt Disney
loved the Coachella Valley because of the weather and famous lack of Jews. Odd that they would put
that. Strange. According to Redfin, Disney will tightly control the communities. That could bring
both pros and cons to homeowners. There would, okay, ready? There wouldn't be a, quote, rowdy bar down
the street or obnoxious music from your neighbor. Yeah, of course. You're buying in to a complete,
it's completely going to be controlled, but it would come at the cost of your own personal
freedom. That wouldn't sit well with everybody, but some Disney devotees who like the company's brand
and values would welcome the careful curation of the community. By the way, the personal freedom
giving, people will love that. They don't care. I love when people go, yeah, it's not going to be
for everybody to complete surrendering in their personal, well, by the way, over the last two
years, it's been for a lot of people. I mean, it's interesting because they're creating a community.
It's a corporation with obviously they've created an entire world of cartoon animals
and cartoons and famous films and music. And they are saying people, come live in that world
and not the real world where there might be a rowdy bar or your neighbor might have music.
Leave that world. Come live in our world. That's completely curated and everybody's nice to you,
not because you're a good person or you deserve it. It's because they are cast members in a movie
that we are making, which you will be the star of if you buy our fucking house for however much
it's going to be. Well, Disney had grand ambitions to develop a working city with residents. What
kind of residents Walt, which would have showcased the latest technology because he was a Nazi.
That's why that's funny. So when I say what kind of residents Walt, it's Nazis.
He dubbed the project Epcot, which stood for experimental prototype community of tomorrow.
What did that mean, Walt? After his death in 66, Disney successors re-interpreted his vision as
a theme park Epcot that exists today. Well, I mean, here's the thing. We wish them all well,
right? I mean, this is very disturbing and I'm glad we got into this because I'm
very bothered by this, but like anything else, I'm not going to, you know, what am I going to be
able to do? We'll probably be eating there in the Coutinho steakhouse. It won't be bad.
I'll be in Coutinho like anyone else, eating ice cream. People go, Hey, remember when you
I said, shut up. I'm just sitting there eating a big Mickey Sunday. It's 112 degrees in Coutinho.
Maybe I'll live in Coutinho. Who gives a fuck anymore? What's the point? It's the point of anything.
If they're all happy, maybe it works. Who am I to say come on this fucking show and I yell
about people. People just want to be brainwashed until they fucking go on the ground. Let them.
What's the problem? We'll go live in Coutinho. I want to complain about this one other thing
before I get out of here because I'm like alarmed by this. And I went to this restaurant the other day
called 75 main in South Hampton. It's like a well known restaurant and the food was really good.
They had a lobster quesadilla that was sick and the owner took a picture with me or maybe not the
owner of the manager. I was, I was, I was, it was a great experience. All in all, I was very happy.
And, and, and, and here's the thing, man, you're getting a reality show. And I'm like,
first of all, guys, let me tell you right now, the era of reality TV is over. It's like done.
You're not even going to get famous anymore. You're not going to make any money. You're
barely going to launch a product. The era of reality TV is done now. You are truly scraping
the bottom of the barrel. You're going to make more as a waiter there than you will
being paid to be on reality TV. Now the Hamptons are supposed to have a little class, a little
dignity. It's not like California where people just speed around in Maserati's and drive them off
canyons. You know what I mean? People in the Hamptons, New York, East Coast, old money, they're
supposed to pull up and like beat her cars, shittier cars, not supposed to be as flashy. They
live in these big estates behind hedges and gates, but they're supposed to, you know, relax a little
bit, right? It's part of the ethos of the Hamptons. It's kind of what's a little cool about it. It's
a little more relaxed. And this idea that they're having a reality show, it disturbed. Now I know
everybody wants to be famous and have opportunities and I'm not trying to take that away from anyone,
but I also am because enough, it's not going to happen. Just make the lobster quesadilla. Well,
it was very good. Keep making it good. Probably had a runaway hit with the Vanderpump rules about
the Hollywood restaurant, sir. All the restaurants from Vanderpump rules are disgusting. The food's
horrible and they're fun because all the bartenders, I guess use drugs and I don't know, have sex with
each other and then try to kill each other, whatever people like. But now page six is told that
Southampton hotspot 75 main is going to be setting for a similar show. Owners, whoever,
and his sexy staff will be starting on serving the Hamptons, which will air on Discovery plus.
We're told Kendall Jenner, Ivana Trump, power silt and Brooks Shields, Patriots owner, Robert
Kraft, billionaire, John Castametitas, Anthony Scaramucci and rapper Takashi 69 once left to
2000 tip after ordering Thanksgiving takeout. All stopped by the restaurant while cameras were
rolling. Everyone keeps calling me male East coast version. I don't want to rain on anyone's parade
here, but what the fuck? I mean, the whole point of the Hamptons is people that have a lot of money
pretending to not like care about all this shit is the people that they're talking about Kendall
Jenner, Ivana Trump, power silt and Brooks Shields, Patriots owner Robert Kraft. These are simple people.
They don't want any publicity. They don't want it. When people like Kendall Jenner,
power silt and they, when they leave their house, they're trying to, they're trying to stay low.
It's not fair that they're now forced to participate in this.
The cameras will go back to right now. I'm going to have a problem in here when I go in here
because I like the lobster case. They're going to get mad and they're going to, well, you said
that we shouldn't have a reality show. Why can't we be fake? Can't you just do what you do? Well,
how about that? You're more famous than people on TV. 75 main is famous to rich fuck. Who gives a
fuck what these animals think who watch this shit from their bathtub while they're making meth?
You got a great, isn't it enough for anyone anymore to do the thing you do? Well,
now everybody needs to be a star. Everyone needs to be a star.
It's sad.
The guy who lords over at all and tries to keep his staffers in check while handling crisis
is along with some help from PR guru, Tajapur admits quote, sometimes I want to move to the
staff house. It's like the playboy mansion. Make the case of Dia.
The summary includes plot lines like quote, Ethan Thompson develops a crush on Brogan,
but after she puts him in the friend zone, he goes while breaking the house rules,
pursuing a different housemate as well as secretly hooking up with a local catch up.
Can I have more catch up please?
No matter the house drama, the staff must put their personal issues aside
to serve some of the wealthiest and most demanded clients.
I'm going to move to Cotino. Do you see this? If they're going to ruin the Hamptons with reality
shows and they're going to go this route, I'm telling you right now, we're going to have a real
problem because this is not what it's supposed to be. But now I know it's on discovery plus
a no to watch. It's true. But if this is the direction it goes in out there, we got a real problem.
It's a little disgusting. Not everything can be LA. Not everybody can be just a whore
with their puss out. Can't, can't anybody have any dignity? Isn't it enough to just make the
the eggs Benedict nicely for everyone?
I mean, doesn't this bother you? It's upsetting. The Hamptons is a sacred place. It's a sacred place.
It's disgusting the way they're behaving now. It's not right.
I can't believe they're allowing this, but I don't know why. And if I have to wage a war
against this to save the head and because these people have had a lot. It's not been easy for
the people to live in Hamptons and with all of their friends going, you know, to jail or
being in, you know, getting in trouble for the, you know, the island activity. It's not easy now
when you have this going on. It's not right. It's not right. So it leaves you no choice
but to move to Cotino.
As much as I insulted, I now, I now look at the way the world is going.
Why not do a reality show at Prince Andrew and the Queen Mum?
How about that? Is that next? Is that on Discovery Plus with that sweaty freak?
You know, Andrea, I had to donate $2 million. $2 million. What did you do with that gal?
Mum, I don't, I don't, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
The whole thing's disturbing.
You know, I'm, I'm bothered. I don't want to deny anyone opportunities. I just, reality television
is over. It's over. Where are the people from Vanderpump rules now? Yes, they're probably better
off than they were before, but where are they now? I don't think it's, you know,
I don't think it's that great, by the way, but I got it. They put some money together. I got it's
better than, you know, and this is their chance, right? Cause they're working in Hampton. They
see all these celebrities go, I'm going to be a select because these, these, these production
companies go, you're going to be a star. You're not just going to be a whore on camera, smacking
some other whore, because you had gotten a fight with somebody about the guy you're fucking, you're
going to be a star. You're going to have a white wine spritzer brand. You're going to be a trillion
here because it worked for one check. It worked with Bethany Frankel on the housewives of New
York who came out with skinny girl Margarita back when you could still call people skinny and it
not be a hate crime. And she made like 20 or 30 mil from that 20 or 30 sticks from that. But I'll
tell you right now, it's not what it used to be. And I do think that people have to kind of realize
that and understand that reality shows are not in the zeitgeist anymore. I mean, other than a few
of them that have been around forever and they've kind of been established, but I just don't like
cause I went to this place. I'd never really been there. I've been there like once or twice.
It's a good food. It's actually good. So I, you know what I mean?
I don't want the good people of the Hamptons working class. They're working class people.
They're simple people. I don't want them to have to deal with this intrusive,
boorish behavior here. Slightly disappointed with that dates. Come see me live. If you want to
San Antonio Sunday, please buy tickets. There's a few left. There's a lot left. San Antonio,
Texas and majestic theater, Portland, Maine. You know how I feel the Merrill auditorium.
There's a ready circulating on Reddit. It's like, who's this piece of shit? Why would he,
why would he say he's not funny? This isn't funny about Portland. It's not funny. I love comedy
and he's not funny. So I got it. I'm like a huge fan of comedy. Providence, Rhode Island,
the veterans Memorial Coliseum, Thursday, February 24th, Friday, February 25th,
the Ridgefield, Connecticut, the Ridgefield playoffs Saturday, Albany, New York, the egg,
Sunday, February 27th, Concord, New Hampshire, Capitol center for the arts, Toronto, March 16th,
Toronto, Ontario, Meridian hall, Baltimore, Maryland, Friday, March 8th, Saturday, March 19th,
Philadelphia, Thursday, a parks casino, Thursday, the 24th of March, Nashville, Tennessee, the
Ryman special taping, the 26th, Denver, Glasgow, Scotland, March 30th, April 2nd, Dublin.
And then we're in London, April 4th, six, six. So here's the deal folks come that we're also
going to try to get to Charlotte, New Orleans, some other places as well in early March,
Jacksonville, round this tour out, finish it, timdilloncomedy.com for tickets.
We will update you Tim J Dylan on Instagram and Twitter. If you want to follow their Tim
Dylan comedy.com, of course, we'll have all of our updates on it. And then my special live from
Cotino will be out where I dress up as the clock from Beauty and the Beast and do my entire
standup set and then blow my brains out and splatter blood all over the 55 and over community
that has called Cotino home. God help us. God help us. What they should do, what American truckers
should do is when Cotino was built, they should do what they're doing in Canada right now. They
should do blockades so that they can't get food in and out of Cotino so that the people that have
chosen to live in this fever dream die out so they can't reproduce. That's the movie. Good night.