The Tim Dillon Show - 290 - Let's Take A Beat

Episode Date: March 6, 2022

Tim finds a solution to the Russian and Ukrainian war and saves the Summer America desperately needs, and discusses why the most expensive house in Los Angeles finally sold. Bonus episodes every week: ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow See Tim Live on the road: ▶▶ http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 👨‍🦱 HAIR LOSS: ▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon 🚬 QUIT SMOKING: Use code TIM: ▶▶ https://lucy.co BIRD DOGS! ▶▶ https://www.birddogs.com/ use code TIMDILLON DOORDASH ▶▶ Download the Doordash app and enter code TIMDILLON to get 25% off. MASTER WORKS https://masterworks.art/tim ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬   𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ 🐦 Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon 🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows 📹 Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC161r7ShBvMxfyzCtiSMRbg Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds   ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬   ▶▶ Ed McMahon [e-mail] https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood   ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ #TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen Sorry, we had a Han dynasty Chinese food and it's spicy and Ben loves Chinese food. It's his favorite kind of food. It makes him feel Very few things do And you would say it's your favorite food by far by five food more than Chinese food I would say it's Chinese and then Japanese kind of in a tie right there. Interesting. It's all East Code, I mean East Eastern Eastern world. Yes phenomenal

That's great. I like Chinese. I don't you know, I mean, I'm you know, I Don't I don't know. It's not my favorite, you know Because I'm a civilized person So I don't eat chicken feet and stuff, but I don't mind it. I like countries with tablecloths Welcome with the alt-right Nazi food hour Thank you for coming and this is when we Well, I'm watching a show on HBO right now called the Gilded Age, which isn't good, but it's not bad and it's about all these old money families in New York

that are Being displaced by new money families and it's about like A family that's supposed to be the Vanderbilt's because it's a railroad tycoon and his wife and they're trying to break into old New York and You see in the show how bad the Irish had it, you know, everybody we always hear about you know You know Slaves but we never hear about Irish slaves and they were like a ton of them and That's what my podcast is now about telling the story of Irish slaves

But you know one of the maids is Irish is like a gambler and a guy's just beating her up and throwing her on the street Trying to get his money, but now, you know HBO has got to force all these storylines They got a forced diversity. So you have like a black character who you know, it's just you watching this thing a girl gets robbed The black lady lends her money and then she goes to this, you know rich Family in New York and then they just take her in So here's what you have to believe now. You have to believe that America was this stunningly racist Horrible society which there's a lot of merit to that belief, but you also have to suspend that belief to enjoy a show

Where they just move a black woman into the home Within two days of meeting her because you need the diversity in this show So it's like the craziest storyline ever It's like, oh, yes, she let me money to get on the train and then she gets there and they're like, oh, you can dictate my letters You can read or write live with us Live with us and be a principal character on the show and that's where the diversity you start going It's odd I'm all for having another black family on the show in Brooklyn where it's believable

Where it's not like you're not forcing this thing that would really Just never happen In in my estimation, I'm not saying it's never happened But the idea you have this old money New York rich family just taking in This black girl after knowing her for less than 24 hours ago. Just live here Just live here It's odd You know, but again, this is what this is part of the new

Ethos in Hollywood or even if it doesn't make sense Just do it Just throw it in and no shade to anybody. Hey Get your money. I'd rather watch a show where there's a black family Experiencing truly what it was like in that era than that forced storyline That we're seeing which clearly seems to be Not what would have happened or maybe I'm wrong But it doesn't seem to be

Like did the whole show is about this woman being terribly uncomfortable with her white neighbor That's the entire show is about these two women who are just, you know One's old money one's new money and they don't get along the new money one is garish and vulgar She's a vulgarian and the old money one Christine Bransky doesn't like her. No, we're supposed to believe that she's terribly uncomfortable With but she moves in the black girl in under 24 hours and goes come live in the house late 1800s, by the way Civil war is ended hours ago and we're supposed to believe she just just come on in the house The whole show is about she hates different classes of white people who have money They have more money than her. It's not even a bet. It's it's just the whole show is about how you hate the other

Like you just there are people are tribal by nature and people hate disruptions and they hate change and She hates this woman who lives across the street who has real money and her husband's this, you know brash railroad tycoon who's a You know a big money player in New York and she's terribly uncomfortable with that and she doesn't like it, but She moves in the black girl and we're supposed to just You know kind of ease past that what seems to be a glaring contradiction because HBO needs to do that now and you go Okay

All right It's also whatever the show is what that nobody asked for the show either Nobody was like, you know, we were because the guy made it to downtown Abbey, which a lot of people love my grandmother loved it which was like a show about British aristocracy and He's doing it for America for New York but you know Nobody was pounding on the door saying, please God

make a show about this and Not only have they made a show about it, but they've made a show about it where one of the key plot points to me feels a bit ludicrous or Maybe it wasn't that racist Maybe those old white women who lived on Fifth Avenue weren't that bad That's kind of what you have to deduce You have to go. She's not that bad She lives a black girl living a house. That's lovely

I'm sure that's not a common thing again, it's You can't have it both ways, you know all the country is was horribly racist. I'm with you there. I agree with that I think you're right about that, but this old bitch Loved this black woman and moved her in in under 24 hours having not even known her Moved her right in oh and that's the show. Just just go with it Just go with the show and you go, okay, I

was reading about You know, I'm trying to you know, the The the diet that we're all being fed right now was war. It's just a steady diet of Ukraine war and It's unhealthy It's unhealthy the TV just went on It's unhealthy to just hear about the war. I'm not saying it's un Unimportant. I'm not saying it doesn't matter. I'm saying there's how many explosions

Should you watch? It's a fair point. It's a fair question, right? How many buildings should you watch being shelled before you have coffee for? Because we are now being fed a steady war diet The troops are advancing they are they may launch an amphibious assault on Odessa They are in the Black Sea The convoy has been stalled on the way to Kiev Which everyone has pronounced Kiev and now it is Kiev, whatever

Our people on Twitter are fighting is Vladimir Putin a rational actor Acting in his self-interest after being goaded into the war by the expansion of NATO There's something to that for sure certainly and the other side or is Vladimir Putin a psychopath who's behaving erratically Which there's also room for that because when you look at what he's gonna have to do with Ukraine have a military presence there for a long time bleed his country there bleed his country dry financially have

You know to deal with an insurgency For as long as they're there. Ukrainians are never gonna forget about this It's not like he could just install a puppet government and be done. This is a real project We just got done with this in Iraq and Afghanistan. How did it work out for us? We were humiliating The Taliban came back 20 years later But a lot of people made a lot of money in that period. I'm not you know naive But these things don't usually work So a cost-benefit analysis of this, but I think he was like listen, I'm in my 70s

There's rumors that he has Parkinson's. He's like hey He's concerned with his legacy. He goes. I'm not gonna let you put missiles all around Russia. I'm just not gonna do it I'm a nuclear power. We have more nuclear warheads than anybody else. I'm gonna act like it There's a great line in succession What good is having fuck you money if you can't say fuck you and I think Putin goes well What good is having all these goddamn nukes? Just so what I could talk to Oliver Stone. No, I want a party too America's running around the Middle East pretending they're democratizing things and they ain't you know

Israel's you know with Palestine the whole thing Saudi Arabia is doing a genocide genocide in Yemen Why don't I get? involved I Feel like you know, he feels like hey, you're not gonna put me in a box, but we so we have that Reality now that being said he's invaded a country and it's It's terrible to watch right now a lot of Americans don't seem to feel Any which way about the people that are being killed in fact some of them think it's a good thing or That the Putin is doing something to be cheered on like you would cheer on at the Dallas Cowboys and

They are Saying the Vladimir Putin isn't your enemy, which is okay Sure, but who is my enemy? I mean why why does there need to be an enemy all the time? because Inherent in Vladimir Putin isn't your enemy. It's that no kids Kamala Harris is your enemy You go well, okay Can I live in a world where I'm not in direct conflict with either Vladimir Putin or Kamala Harris? Say I'm trying new Kamala has more effect on my life. She could raise my taxes

Just you could do things and I don't like That being said I'd rather live here in America than live in Moscow Which people have forgotten I think somehow somewhere people have forgotten that they go Well, no America's got a lot of problems too. Yeah Pound for pound though. It would be hard to really make the argument that you'd be better off Living in Russia. I mean, I know you're maybe upset about what's happening in the country You don't like certain things Critical race theories, you know got you bent out of shape

You know, whatever drag queens, you know red the cat in the hat in the library That's keeping you up You know what I mean, you know, there's not enough diversity in the Marvel movie franchise on the other side Whatever your problems happen to be it's probably pound for pound Still better to live here Not maybe by that much and maybe not for much longer Depending on how we go But when you hear people talk about this idea

There seems to be this idea that you know, we're it's the debate is kind of About You know like that we that the CIA and America has done bad things Which we are well aware of we've had all of this on the show. We've been

Completely aware that we are an empire in the stage of decline That empire was established by CIA coups Military conquest as all empires are when we were very aware of this, right? There's been no empire in history that's ever gotten To the size we are or any approximation of it without doing all those things It's just not the way empires are built. That doesn't excuse them. That doesn't make them, right? But there is a weird idea or a strange idea that Everything Russia does which is a bad thing

Has to be immediately countered by reminding people that we've also done a bad thing It's like an interesting kind of a knee-jerk Whereas if Putin were to go in and nuke Ukraine tomorrow People would tweet. Well, we also dropped the atom bomb on Japan. I Don't know what that Does I don't know what that accomplishes. I don't know what Where that I don't know but it's people are very It's kind of people if if nukes came flying over here

There'd be a fair amount of the population that went and he's right Good for him Like I mean would they stop at that? That's a fair point if Putin were to invade america, which he's not going to do But if he were to do that would there be a segment of the population that goes good Good for him. I don't know I'm not saying

It just does feel like it's a little bit of a knee-jerk reaction Where a lot of the stuff coming out of the ukraine is propaganda for sure. We know that Is it yeah, and is it dangerous propaganda? Perhaps if it needlessly escalates the war Where these neocon war hawks are like let's just enforce no fly zones and which is essentially an act of war and then yeah I'm all for not being taken in by like war propaganda You know

But I I don't personally need to fact check every single inspirational story That comes out of the ukraine like I don't I don't personally Like when that goes to Kiev thing happened. I didn't I don't care If the goes to Kiev is real enough, whatever they need to believe right they're getting bombed Whatever they need to believe you want to believe in a ghost kiev the ghost of christmas past It none of it means anything to me people in this country believe in all kinds of shit

they believe in monsters cannibals, you know like people believe in Jesus people believe in all kinds of stuff That I don't care if they believe it or not. It's great good for you But if you want to believe in the ghost of kievs, I don't care Doesn't really affect me now If you start to see the propaganda going in a direction where you could kind of see it moving where it's like well

I think we should do more Then you go hold on calm down relax I I am not for doing more We I am for doing the same or less because We're not we shouldn't be getting into a war with russia over this not our fight

I just don't I don't see the value in like fact-checking every little thing That comes out of the ukraine Where they're like Putin they got into some firefight at a nuclear plant and everybody's like it's fine The nuclear plan is fine Everyone's freaking out over it, but it's actually good And you go oh, okay, but what is this?

How far will this go? You know The orphanage putin bond was actually a secondary school the kids were four to seven Okay Well, it's different because it's not an orphanage. You said it was babies They're eight Okay, I understand that well, I'm just saying Get your facts straight Oh

Yeah, well, all right But again, I understand like if that propaganda Is being used to justify A more of a direct conflict with russia then then yeah, fuck it. No That should be off the table. That's off the table We're not doing that. It's off the table. So I understand like I understand like figuring out what's what I just don't see the need

for myself to Like you know Zelinsky, uh, there were three assassination attempts. Yeah, maybe not Okay, but in your own head, why wouldn't the russians be trying to assassinate him, right? Just think about it. Like why wouldn't they? If you were put would you not want him dead? I don't you know He's doing a pretty good job of galvanizing support behind the cause

So wouldn't you want him out of the picture? Well, they said three it was two Get your facts straight You go, I understand the impulse to to to distrust Media narratives. I think it's important to have and I've done it my entire life with 9 11 with all these things

um But in this case it just feels again like everything is a is a domestic politics Like the big problem with the conspiracy movement was it got fused with domestic politics It used to be people that were really well read who knew a lot about history question and conclusions and doing it in a very like, you know pretty bookish way

um They were pretty meticulous and they read a lot And then the conspiracy movement through q and on became fused with domestic politics the horse race You know, I'm gonna win. I'm gonna beat you And then a lot of people started to get uh interested in these topics who had never read a book

And didn't know anything and were completely unaware of What disinformation was and were completely unaware of yes, there is human trafficking going around But maybe the human traffickers are the ones pushing these stories that uh, they're cannibals and they're Boiling kids and pots and maybe they're doing that because it actually seems so fantastical That it makes people dismiss the actual reality of human trafficking As uh, it relates to political elites in america. So when you're talking about krissey teegan Running a cult of witches eating children people are easily dismiss that but you took a bit epstein and you took about things like that

and there's facts Now it's much harder to dismiss So a lot of that weird diss and i'm not saying that the weird people in this country don't do a cult shit and don't murder kids Or whatever, but i'm saying as this grand conspiracy That qanon became it actually did more to hurt legitimate concerns and questions About human trafficking because it was all about winning

So about the domestic political impulse of seeing your enemies get smashed seeing them lose And this was of course seeing them get locked up putting guantanamo bay executed so Looking at this war and making it about joe biden or donald trump or making it about how to win against somebody else that disagrees with you

about Something seems to be The it just seems to be very limiting It's limiting in the scope of human experience the way to look at things the way to analyze things You shouldn't necessarily Hear something and then immediately leap to Okay, but how does this serve my overall? goal

Of making my neighbor look stupid You should look at it and try to form opinions outside of that Outside of that impulse. I try to check that impulse all the time. It kills humor. It kills creativity. It kills being good at your job I mean, unless you just want to be a hack partisan Is shoving slop down people's throat? Which is how many people are in great livings? But if you don't want to do that, you shouldn't That's why everybody's like, oh, you're a centrist so you're never take a thought I whatever you want to call it. I I I don't care

What you people think truly have enough money I could quit tomorrow ben would have to work, but I don't Um, and he's young and he can get a job. I don't care what any of you think If I did I never would have done this show Because everybody told me it was a waste of my time and then I should just you know Do a food show on comedy central and be the next Anthony Bourdain and go to places and talk to the diner waitress and You know do that or do it do a travel log do a travel show you go around and Talk to people and you know go to the fair Uh, but no we we we did this show so I don't give a fuck with you people think it doesn't matter

I barely care what I think And I make a lot of money thinking But I try to look at both people like I I try to look at both sides of an issue and go where Are people correct in my estimation and where are they wrong? So I get checking propaganda And I get that propaganda being dangerous if it's used to force more of a direct conflict with russia, right?

But then of course I see that that can go overboard too That can get a little silly You know that just seems it can get a little silly right Like for example if putin just launches nuclear strikes at four or five different countries that he's not going to do this But let's say he did you know would people well, it's the expansion in nator. Yeah, maybe but hey, we're in a different place now Let's try to think about how to survive here You know, you don't have any survival instinct. Well, it's so well, you know, we shouldn't have done

Yeah, well, hey, you know It's like you're in a bad situation, you know some guys got a gun to the back of your head You're in a bad part of the city and you know, one of your friends looks he goes we never should have came here It's like, hey, this is not helping This doesn't really help at the present moment. I don't know how bad things are gonna get you know You know, I mean I'm hoping that this I mean, I'm bored of it already if that's a good sign

I hope it's a good sign. It's it's become boring to me I don't really want to keep watching this It was fun for a few days because it was like new and interesting, but it's really become to be honest dull And people's takes are are already becoming circular you've heard them they keep, you know You know, you know, I'm getting wary of the sing-songy bullshit on one side about how like

New Zealand ski and all this stuff like I'm getting wary of that because that's my nature to be like, wait a minute Hold on where are we going and then on the other side where people are just literally putting Putin's cock in their mouth and sucking them off On tv is also slightly so I don't know where I just turn it off Gotta turn it off You know all these dumb things that we do, you know the you know I was in Long Island the other day and There was a sign, you know the town of Babylon stands with Ukraine. It's like that type of shit. Of course. It's like cringe You look at that stuff. You go, what the fuck's this gonna do? But what else are we gonna do?

What the fuck else are you gonna do? You just go, yeah, well, how do Babylon stands with Ukraine? And by the way, I've been to Babylon. They probably don't That's the other thing. I don't know if I don't know if they took a poll. I don't know who the fuck put up that sign But it's just uh You know, I'm getting tired of it I'm getting tired of it. We're supposed to be out of this We're supposed to be getting out of a pandemic And then there's supposed to be some type of creative renaissance. This is what I've been and I don't mean

In a good way. I mean like a very dumb silly stupid You know spate of film projects that come out where It's like people are being like really goofy and like Nothing has a plot And everybody just kind of is so happy to be out of their house and they just don't you know care anymore and

That's what I was picturing not a war We're like in like we're in war mode and I'm just like I can't I can't get in I just can't get into it I can't get into it Does that sound cunty? perhaps But what do you want me to do force it? I can't force it like hbo is forcing the storyline I can't force myself into you know, we did it. We had the guy on the show And we listened to david bowie's heroes in the car and we drove over the 59th street bridge and then we went to have bagels

We did it We did what we were there to do He came on He told his tale and we supported my donated five thousand dollars of bitcoin to him And he sent me a few photos of like charred russian bodies, I guess which I I wanted photos of something else Which I don't think he got I think it was a language barrier for five thousand dollars I wanted other but whatever doesn't matter. We wish him well

We wish him the best, but you know, we did a heroic thing for ukraine by having him on a show You know that's ad supported and we made a lot of money to do but I'm kind of now. I've reached the point now where I go. Okay. I just I want to you know, we're heading into the spring in the summer and I just you know We don't need gas being a million trillion dollars We just don't need it. We don't need it enough with the sanctions Let's calm down with the sanctions Because here's the deal

It's about to impact all of us in ways. We don't like airfare going up price of gas going up We're trying to have a summer here. I'm talking like this. No one everyone's afraid to say these things I'm gonna say them And by the way, I don't mean that because there's a lot of people saying them By the way, it should be taboo like what I'm saying should be taboo, but I believe it's being pretty openly

uh discussed in congress But I I I do believe we got to look out for ourselves a little bit here And I just think we can't really go too crazy with the sanctions What if we did it? What if we lifted the sanctions on booten? and said hey What if what is it you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar? What if we lifted the sanctions? I Mean as a as a show of good faith

I'm not a geopolitical mastermind. Whatever is a show of good faith Lift the sanctions and go Hey Do what you gotta do But just you know take care of us here We need to get the price of fuel down It's a fact From new york city

Yep, how many miles is it from new york city to the hamptons? How many miles It is let's see here Sorry It is exactly 94 miles. Okay It's a hundred miles. Let's round it. Okay. It is a hundred miles Of gas how many miles to the gallon are people getting on average like On that highway probably like 18

18 miles to the gallon. So how many gallons of gas about five or six we're looking about five or six gallons And and gas is what now? About four. I mean it's about four Yeah, people are bracing for five. That's what's coming every time we go to hamptons about 30 bucks Yeah, five gallons there five gallons back. You're looking at 60. Yeah, that's 60 dollars for one trip to the hamptons 60 dollars Now that's for the people that drive then we have helicopters We have private planes. Yes. No, I mean, this is no, you're right. Hey. Hey, here's the reality here

No, this is i'm not i'm not here to pretend That things aren't how they are This is a big problem heading into the summer People are going to want to go to europe. They're going to want to travel. I have a lot of friends That are going to be in martha's vineyard and maybe they're going to be in nantake Ferries, you know what I mean like guys, what are we what?

Like are you willing to trade your summer for ukraine? No, no, no, no, I'm dead serious Are you willing to trade your summer for the ukraine? I'm talking about the summer of love the summer of fucking Covid is finally over Facts mandates have dropped Every but i'm talking partying outside I mean eating a pussy to taste like peach melba the

Summer i'm talking about warm summer breezes I mean, are you willing to not Participate in a lot of those activities Because of the ukraine and I don't know I don't think I am So I believe right now

We need to lift all the sanctions on putin Until the fall Because and and he'll still be there. We can sanction them in the fall I Just let's be honest You know Where are we gonna go this summer car viv? Is that where you're gonna go? We're gonna go to car viv

Were you? We're gonna go to malibu Let's Start looking out For number one. We didn't get to be the greatest country in the world by taking care of other people That let's be honest and maybe you might not believe We're the greatest country in the world. That's absolutely fine But we didn't get here

By concern for others As twitter will tell you So it's time to stop pretending that we have we got to cut it out now Cut it out. Stop the flags Stop the songs Stop the song and dance routine Cut it out. We've done it now for a week And that we don't you know our our movies suck nobody respects us anymore

We don't even put out good shit everything we make is horrible every comedian special That comes out on hbo not all of them, but a lot of them It's just somebody on a stage talking about how sad they are without a goddamn joke The the rest of the world has figured us out Okay, we fucked up. We haven't put out a good movie in a long fucking time There's not shit to watch we used to bomb the hell out of these people rape and pillage But we used to give them good shit Great movies, okay ghostbusters and Seinfeld and scent of a woman whatever they loved it

You know rap music black culture all these things we exported all over the world Everything we do now sucks. We don't have any soft power that's worth a damn So just shut it down Lift the sanctions on Putin lift them on Putin. Let's have a summer It's time to have a summer whether you're a poor piece of shit trash bag who gets drunk in a lake Or you got a little scratch and you find your way to one of the fucking oceans in this country somewhere Whatever Not my business

Everybody deserves a fucking summer after the two years we've had and that involves immediately lifting the sanctions of vladimir putin. I'm sorry I apologize But I there's no other way out here Lift the fucking sanctions I'm talking gas 289 not even Let's start cutting deals Here's the deal. We're gonna feel bad if we lift the sanctions

We're gonna feel horrible because he's gonna Use all that money to go in there and I mean god what he's gonna do But That's why the gas has to be so cheap the deal has to be so good I mean i'm talking about what what can we get it down to 210? It's gotta be so good That you're eating that burger and the summer breeze is hitting you in the face and everybody's got their tits and dicks out And everybody's having fun and you just you don't you feel a little bad But not that bad

Because the deal's gotta be good for us to turn Away from this to look away And remove all sanctions. We gotta get a good deal on fuel Good deal So that we can go have a summer The world is going to be uninhabitable in I don't know seven years Enjoy What you have

Enjoy what you have now So this is my and again it is not It is not the most you know You know It's not a position that makes me proud that I have it I'm not proud of them But do you see another way out? So do you see another way out of this? So here's here's how do you see a way out?

Here's why I like it. Here's why I like it. Yeah, I like it. I here's why I like it because If if they're gonna occupy for 10 or 15 years Hey, we come back in the fall and we sanction them fall winter or not because we got to do shit then too The fall is amazing People want to do a weekend in the Berkshires. Listen. Can we cut it out with this? Stop with this have a summer I mean, I mean this is this is what we got to do This is what we got to do. There's there's no other way around this here and this is unfortunate

When is this we should I guess do we have to just put this out as the main one because if we put it as a patreon Once that's supposed to go out That would be in six days from now. So if there's like new clear things So we have to put this out as the main one. Yeah, probably audio only Yeah, what are you gonna do? Hey, fuck you. You don't like Who cares? But I am I am saying right now We should absolutely without a doubt remove all sanctions on Vladimir Putin and commend him on securing the ukraine From nazis now. There are some nazis over there that as off as off

That's their elite fighting force that they are all not can we call the great? I want to call the great melanin here let's see if she answers because There's no one funnier than her quite frankly and she did sum this up kind of brilliantly the other day And by the way, some people listen from the ukraine and I I I'm very sorry about this, but we just deserve a summer Hello, hey melanie, how are you? Hey, what's up, man? Listen, you're you're on the podcast Let let let me ask you know more you know more about everything Putin we all know Putin's a psychopath, but aren't the ukranians also like kind of nazis You know like white supremacists and all of a sudden if you love them

They are kind of nazis though. Yeah, they're part not one of the one of the guys that like with his face Byron's hand like shaking hands with his like, you know, a total nazi And people forget it too. It's like oh, well, you know They're They're they're they're nazis, but they're not as bad as the russians. Right, right, you know, it's convenient Right for sure. I don't know. I don't know why this is all even happening But it's not going to end. Well, I can tell you that I mean if you know what poons are not going to lose He's just going to push the button at the end

Right, he's not good, but I'm just saying listen. I want to keep gas cheap because I think we always have a nice summer Oh god, dude, let me tell you something. Yeah, exactly the gas situation What you recall Putin has I think it's about I would say between At least almost 30 of the market coming in and he's you know, he's exporting almost all the natural gas to germany That's why you're seeing such a tech response on you on ukraine from all these countries They're like, yeah, we want to help but we want to eat food You know, we don't want to like, you know pay a zillion dollars for like heat and all this other stuff, especially here

You know what I mean? Yeah, we just I I think I don't know what we're gonna what we have to do here But like, you know, I'm not into going into a nuclear war for the ukraine No, I mean either. I mean, you know, no, no, as uh, I bide would say the uranian, which I thought was hysterical Yeah, well, he's a course. No, no nuclear war. Uh, what should we call it? He uh God, I mean, I mean if the gas like right now, he's like the poor ukraine But but uh, if it goes up to like, you know, eight or nine dollars a gallon, they're gonna go to war with them. You know what I mean? You know, that's what that's probably what'll happen is the gas will go up to about seven dollars a gallon and like 10 Dollars in california and we'll sneak a bomb in there to just end it and blame it on the russians

It may be the best uh thing to do Of course, I mean, we just have to do it. All right. I'll call you later, babe. Thank you so much We appreciate it It's a great melanie again. It's rare that someone has moral clarity in these times and she does That's what I like about it's moral clarity and we don't see a lot of it We don't see a lot of it in these times, but I do think it's important that we keep our eye on the price here, which is The caught the price of fuel and our ability to have a good summer

And I know the world or well the world order is being rocked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but you know what? How about a fun summer? That we've earned that we didn't have last summer because of fucking delta Now we're just it's gonna be great. COVID is done. It's in the rear view And I think we're just gonna and so I think that's the real That's the challenge. How much of your lifestyle are you willing to sacrifice? I am willing to do what I've done tweet post I'll sign a sternly worded letter written by barry wise

But I mean I I you know what I mean I wonder if I'm gonna do the bitcoin convention, you know, we've been playing chicken with them Because I want more money and whatever I don't know if I'm gonna go. I do have fun when I go. I do like that community I gotta find if I can get a big guest. I don't know if I can get a big guest I wanted katelyn jenner. That was my fucking goal And I don't know if I'm gonna be able to get her. I wanted katelyn jenner for the bitcoin conference Logan paul and katelyn jenner together

Was a goal of mine to have And then this kid will clementy on twitter is very smart about bitcoin But I just don't know if I'm gonna get any of the big names. I does it make sense to go there without the big names Right No, we gotta have katelyn I wanted somebody big. Maybe we get poot If I could get pootin that would be great If I could get you know

Zalinsky or something, but I don't want to sit there and I need some real fucking star power To make that conference worth it last year We had the winklevoss twins who said a collection of nine words throughout the hour And jake paul talked about wanting to kill dana white, but I was at least funny and the show was good I don't know what else I don't know what we're gonna do this here. I'm not I don't want to do stand-up They're doing a comedy tent. I don't want to do that So I don't I don't know what who I can bring in

I Just don't know So, you know, I'm still up in the air with this. They just sold a house in la called the one And it's a great story. Oh, they sold it subscribe to the la times. They sold it And the thing about this house is the builder Is in a shitload of debt if you go to the la times article, which you're not subscribed to But I'll give you the time to subscribe right now for one dollar for six months What publications are you subscribed to for the good of the show?

Wall Street Journal. I finally signed up for here's what you no No, this is what you should be subscribed to and I'm not kidding. Okay, and you could submit this and I'll pay for it Like I do everything else Here's what you should literally be subscribed to the new york times the la times the wall street journal Probably the miami herald chicago tribune Fuck it, especially because a light foot the chicago tribune um The boston globe like you should subscribe like 10 or 20 papers truly. Okay, you know, even the cleveland plain dealer

Because there's stories in there. Okay. You know what I mean, but again, I know it's It's your like, how do we Do less spend less do it on the cheap Well, this is my one of six free articles for the month for la times Well, is that the way to build a show? No into an empire. It is not trying to do get have a six free articles. No That's right Thank you Well, this article is cool

because the guy that built this house took a A 90 million dollar subprime loan From a company called westlake financial which does hard money loans Which means loans you can't get in the traditional banking system So the developer took this loan and then he went wild. I mean he built this massive home. It's a hundred thousand square feet It's grotesque and heinous vulgar and this guy

Then had troubled selling it. So then he was like, hey, he went to westlake financial. He's like And this guy's a billionaire that is building the home and he goes well. Hey, why don't I? Why don't I just live in the house and we'll do I swear to god, this is all in the article He goes we'll do celebrity boxing events. We'll make our money another way. We don't have to sell it We won't flip it. I got into deep. I went too crazy. I spent too much money He goes we'll do celebrity boxing events and then we'll do I'll do the best entertainers in the world Michael Jackson Whitney Houston and they'll all be holograms and they'll be holograms

And then people beating shit out of each other in a backyard And then holograms of Michael Jackson or Whitney Houston And that's how we'll make our money instead of flipping the house read a little bit of the article It's kind of it is interesting when you get to this point Where you start building things that are this big And again, you want to sell it for more money? Lift the sanctions It's Okay, so the mega mansion known as the one sold thursday for 126 million at a bankruptcy auction

It's a deal. By the way 126 million for that house is a steal It's a steal 126 million it's a good price It's belair prime prime prime That's a huge discount from 295 million dollar listing price even with the 12 auction fee bringing the total to 141 million It set a record for the costliest house sold at auction

But it fell well short of the california sales record set by venture capitalist mark andreason who purchased a malibu estate for 17.7 million so this is still Leagues it uh and above Wait a minute 17.7 who gives a fuck? Why is that even in the article? Uh, oh, they put a period here. That's that's uh, it should be 177 million. Yeah, I don't know why they put a period there That doesn't make any sense The most ever spent on a u.s. Residence was 238 million by hedge fund mogul ken griffin for a new york city penthouse in 2019 Right several international sales have surpassed 300 million though

So the buyer will be disclosed by march 8th when paperwork must be seen. I hope it's putin I pray to god, it's putin What a great show putin's in bel-air It says the buyer pool for this is very small and with everything happening in russia All of a sudden those russian billionaires who may have been your best bet to buy it are pulling out lift the sanctions Lift the it's not their fault. They own a yacht It's not their fault putin went a little wacky. It's not their fault Is it roman abramovic abramovic's fault, it's not he's got to sell the chelsea football club. It's not his fault

Shout out to roman abramovic Uh, it says here the guy who bought it just got a great deal He's got people willing to pay $50,000 a day just to do commercials and films Okay, that's gonna be a long time to make your money back. That's not a good deal at all. What are you an idiot? At the real estate. Yeah, well these people are brainless hanky hanky. Who's hanky? I don't know who hanky. Oh, the largest creditor is los angeles billionaire don hanky Who went 106 million to the dream project of developer nile? Subprime lender scumbag

Who's it? Who's got an office? I think in the valley, right? Westlake financial at westside Westlake financial and he's a real old school scumbag and he lent this guy 90 Million or something he left lent him exactly 106 million and the lender is owed more than 130 million Insecured debt including money. He provided in bankruptcy to repair and spiff up the property. Yeah, so they and now who did he lend it to? Who did hanky? lend this the developer nile Naomi yeah, nile. Naomi who's a billionaire in LA, right? I believe he's a developer. Let me see if he's a billionaire. I don't know if he is he might not be I guess he's not

If this is all happening. He's an american former film producer turned real estate developer who's built and sold multi-million dollar mansions Do they have a net worth? Oh, you did point blank interesting. Let me see his net worth net worth Niles net worth is six billion. Yeah, it's a billionaire and they're still fighting over this And the guy from westlake financial is also a billionaire Interesting. What's his worth don hanky? Yeah, don hanky He's just an old school. He's one of the last subprime lenders hard money, baby

God, it gives me a hard cock. What a beautiful thing 5.5 billion. So you have two billionaires fighting over this house the the debt That was lent to build this By the way, go google this thing. It is heinous and I say that Fully understanding and appreciating how ostentatious And vulgar la homes usually are

This is especially grotesque. It is ugly in a way that is hard to describe It is aesthetically displeasing It is it is a big waste of money truly It is it is a big waste of money. It is only for some Billionaire that wants to say, you know that they own the most expensive Home in america and obviously this isn't but it was supposed to be it was listed for 295 million dollars

It was supposed to be the most expensive home in america. So again, who would want that oligarch? you know a chic Saudi somebody Chinese amusement park tycoon russian fertilizer magnet It's a small buyer's pool, but I mean go look at this house and they call it the one It is obnoxious beyond anything that you can even It it's not even nice

Are you looking at it? Yeah, yeah, it's in the article. I mean it's it has like a moat around it. It's like a swimming pool And it looks like a moat. Yeah, it's it's dumb But i'm rooting for don hanky the hard money lender Yeah, so he took over his father's dealership in 1972 and he built the hanky group And it's main business being westlake financial services, which makes sub prime car loans Here's the thing with the guy like don hanky no matter how much money he has They still treat him like scum Like that other guy niles a developer and he hangs out with the beautiful people and don hanky is just he's a sunburned

Low-class scumbag He is actually No, he's a real drunk And no matter what he just he's not in that hollywood glitterati respected he's an unfortunate looking guy even though he's a billionaire He's a used car salesman He's got the stink of used cars on him and he got swindled into lending this nile this hollywood Playboy real estate developer film producer probably just fucking tens all day

And don hanky The name hanky sounds like hanker chief You know he is just but that's why i root for him because he's just got soot on his red sunburnt face And he's just trying to recoup his money And even though he's a billionaire you just look at him you go He's one of those where they just they don't want them in the club. They don't want them in the country club They don't want them anywhere. He's got a couple of properties in malibu, but like they don't want them anywhere They don't want don hanky

This was expected to hit the market at 500 million when they first built it they were mentally ill here Yeah, they really took a bath here And the buyer is going to be revealed march 8th march 8th Who do you think it's going to be? Well, it's 105 000 square feet, right? You have a big 50 seat theater. You have nine bedrooms multiple kitchens This is big. This is a big big place. Uh It's gotta be it's gotta be so it's probably not a russian oligarch, right? Yeah, it's probably not a russian I hope it's nancy polosi

It's probably not a russian probably not a russian an arab so it's probably a saudi it's an arab It may not be a saudi could be a qatari somebody from the united arab emirates. It's an arab Or it's uh somebody from china But i don't know because of covet and everything but we won't know because it'll just be the name of their company They're they're offshore most likely unless they want you to know they own it They may want you to know they own it. I don't know It's hard for me to know but I do want to say this You know, I don't trust all the ukrainian propaganda, but this is a legit real story

David dobrik is fighting with that nazi regiment in ukraine right now against the russians And I think that's pretty fucking cool to be honest I think it's pretty fucking cool That david dobrik right now is embedded fighting with the as of nazi ukrainian battalion I think that's pretty fucking impressive And frankly We don't need to go over the fact that they're nazis. What's important is that they are the elite fighting force of the ukraine And dobrik one of our best cancelled youtubers has decided

To take it upon himself to go fight with them to Hold off russia. I think that's pretty impressive. Don't you? Yeah It's the official position of the tim dillon show at this juncture to lift all sanctions And until september Until after labor day, and then we'll talk about it. We'll see what's been done If putin can't get that place, you know, if he can't steamroll them till labor day. I mean come on If he can't take that by labor day, we got a real problem

And uh, I don't know what's gonna happen a lot of people are gonna be angry with me because it's gonna be oh You were so sympathetic to the ukrainians. I am You know how much gas it takes to fill up a boat I I'm just saying we we can't we can't throw out the baby with the bath water. Do you get it? Do you understand what I mean here or do I sound like a fucking heartless psychopath because you know what? I don't think I do. I think for the first time in my life. I'm making sense I mean truly. What do you think? What do you feel?

Uh, I think I'm with you, but we got to bring back the sanctions in the fall though I think it should just be a seasonal shank sanction. So That way That way they know they got to cool off at some point and then they can they can return back to uh, The the killing and the bombing in the in the high season I personally Don't love revisiting it before jan because

No, no, and then you need to hear me out here The fall is very very very lovely at the wineries There's a lot of bed and breakfast and then you go right into ski season I think we do sanctions for the month of january and february every single year until they leave ukraine That's it That's it Sanctions january and february every single year until they leave ukraine Yes, or yes, yeah, because it would suck around christmas if it was just oh it would suck. Oh, it would really suck. Yeah

January and february sanctions every year until they leave ukraine. Am I right or am I right? I'm sorry Sorry, it's an audio only this week, but we're on tour and we have dates coming in nashville in Jacksonville in

charlotte in new orleans in dallas in houston in cleveland in Cincinnati We're shooting this special in march or won't be out till early may so for the month of april. I'm going to do a lot of markets I haven't done And we'll do the show live. We've had a lot of fun with it And then we will spend the spring and the summer chilling out podcasting making some other content working on a book

Hopefully enjoying You know again, but if we lift the sanctions we got to make a deal about the gas We got to make a good deal I mean a good deal But we're in a position now to make a really really good deal with him for cheap oil daddy I mean

That's the only thing that I can really think of right now that would make sense And it's unfortunate that that's where we are but I also think there's something about Self-determination That is very important that we as a society Have to say there are things we enjoy

And there are things we don't enjoy And we have to get back to figuring out How to enjoy more and have more fun and be less We we need to bicker less Truly I think instead of fighting about this war We ignore it

We remove all sanctions Get cheap gas And go swimming Put a couple of dogs and burgers on the grill Right You cannot hear carvieve being shelled over a kid rock song if you blast it hard enough It's time to have the summer we deserve the summer we've earned Doesn't matter who's right or wrong

Doesn't matter. It's time now It's time to enjoy our summer. We'll revisit this In january of next year Let's give it a year. Let's take a beat Let's take a beat Let's that's the episode title. Let's take a beat Because that's what we really have to do and a lot of people are upset with me right now because I've solved this And people hate when I'm right

There's a lot of people out there that don't like when I'm right they go. Oh boy That's uncomfortable comedian right again solving world issues again But what do you not want me to do it? You want me to leave it up to these scumbags in congress? I've just done it take an 11 month pause here On this And let's enjoy ourselves Let's enjoy ourselves in the spoils

What good is an empire if you can't even have fun? If we're gonna live in this morally compromised hellscape That was built on the blood and bones of people can't we enjoy it? Thanks for listening