The Tim Dillon Show - 299 - Family Recipe

Episode Date: May 22, 2022

Tim Dillon breaks down how to cook for your family on a budget, South African band "Die Antwoord" and their horrifying string of scandals, and how to get around the baby formula shortage. Bonus episodes every week: ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: WATCHES ▶▶ for 20% off go to https://www.vincerocollective.com/timdillon 🔒 VPN: Get three months free ▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon 📦 BOX OF AWESOME ▶▶ http://boxofawesome.com use code TIMDILLON at checkout for 20% off CRYPTO ▶▶ http://exodus.com/tim to start free. Over 4 million people trust Exodus to manage their crypto. Join the movement away from traditional finance by downloading Exodus. ONNIT ▶▶ Go to http://onnit.com/tim for 10% off EVERY MAN JACK ▶▶ https://www.everymanjack.com to get 20% off your first purchase use code DILLON 🎧 HEADPHONES: For 15% off! ▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim 👨‍🦱 HAIR LOSS: ▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon 💆THERAPY ▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMD BIRD DOGS! ▶▶ https://www.birddogs.com/ use code TIMDILLON ATHLETIC GREENS ▶▶ https://athleticgreens.com/timdillon MASTERWORKS ▶▶ https://masterworks.art/tim SIMPLI SAFE ▶▶ https://simplisafe.com/timdillon to save 20% MUD\WTR ▶▶ https://mudwtr.com/tim use code TIM for $5 off STARTMAIL: start securing email privacy! ▶▶ https://startmail.com/timd for 50% off your first year! ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ 🐦 Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon 🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows 📹 Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4woSp8ITBoYDmjkukhEhxg Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds  ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▶▶ Ed McMahon [e-mail] https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ #TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show back in studio. How exciting just got back from Australia. The tour is over. Very excited to put out a special in early June. And you know, what's fun about the special is it has a ton of material about COVID and the riots. So it's going to be really relevant. Like that's what's good about it. It's June. So you could hear about COVID and nurses and riots. And that's what's the best thing about the special is it's perfect, pitch perfect in terms of relevance. And it'll, it'll, it'll take you back. So if you want to go back in time to one of the worst times that you were ever in, you can go back in time with my completely irrelevant special that will come out in early June that no one will care about.

And I don't even care about, but what's good about it is that I wanted to do the show live as much as I could. So we didn't put it out earlier. So now we've waited till June. So it'll have maximum effect. It's just like it's 2020 all over again in my comedy special, except there's more to it than that. There's other stuff. I talk about pizza hut. It's not only COVID. There's other stuff. Just got back from Australia, the land down under very exciting, hospitable people, lovely people, recaptured on the Patreon. Myself, Ben, Sam talent, we're still feeling the jet lag. How are you? Not great. How are you?

I'm fair. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm learning to live with it. And while we were over there in Australia, keeping tabs on all the podcast beef, we were reading stories and the news. And one of the stories I read was about this band, Deantward. Is that how you pronounce it? That's right. I believe it is. Now Deantward is a South African hip hop duo. And they do these Zeph style of stuff, which I believe is a lot of gold and it's very, they're very brash and they live in South Africa and they adopt like all these deformed people and they run around the woods with machetes and they take bass salts. It's, it's something different, you know, something it's, it's nice. It's different and it's made up of Yolande

visor and, uh, uh, ninja and ninja and, uh, lovely people from, I'm sure, from all accounts. Now, uh, and they, uh, Google what the Zeph style is because they have this unique, their videos got crazy views because they were very unique. I find you freaky and I like you a lot. You know, rich bitch. That was a good song. Rich bitch. Rich. Nutella on the saw me Nutella on the saw me because it's South Africa. If you have Nutella on a sandwich, it means you're rich. Nutella on the saw me. So Zeph is a South African counterculture movement. Uh, Kyle Hans Brockman has compared Zeph counterculture to a lot of subcultures in the Northern hemisphere. I don't know what that

means. I want to know what it is, but from what I think it is, it is very like, um, um, Zeph music and culture, the music group, Deantwood self identifies as Zeph in a 2010 interview. Ninja of Deantwood responded to the controversy arising from his claim that Zeph represented South Africa. Critics suggested it might rather just represent Afrikaans while South Africa. He commented that racism is somewhat obsolete and the thing of the past for South Africa. What is, so I think this is his Zeph is your poor, but your fancy, your poor, but your fancy, your, your ghetto fabulous, right? Okay. That's what it is. Zeph style and it's fun and enjoyable. And so these people, Deantwood adopted, uh, kind of this disfigured child and named

Taki. Yeah, that's what he looks like there. Now, Taki is now accusing them of being abusive. He is, uh, saying that he was, he's accusing them of physical, uh, sexual abuse and slavery. And, um, he said, uh, he has a rare disease and he said, quote, they made me believe I was the devil buddy. That's all parents. They made me believe I was the devil. They made me swear more and made me believe that I could burn people in hell and that I'm the king of hell. Sounds a little nice. They told me that I could bring, I wish my parents told me that I was the king of anything Taki. They told me that I could bring darkness upon the world. So he said, and I read another thing. I think it was in the guardian. He said, um, the worst part was seeing my supposed

to be mother or adopted mother being naked in a room drunk, experiencing my mother being drunk, naked and wanting me to spend, uh, time with her in the room. Uh, while she was naked, I find that very disturbing. Last December, Ninja and them apparently took my sister into a sauna and everyone was naked in the sauna and wanted my sister to get naked too. It's pretty weird. This is Taki. It felt like a pervy vibe to me every time when he phones a family, they ask my sister is pregnant yet. And that's not going to happen down on my watch. This is their adopted son Taki. Uh, in the video interview, uh, he said he had stabbed his older brother three times, leaving him needing hospital treatment and that, uh, Ninja and Yolande's response was to congratulate him. They were

like, quote, Hey, good job, man. I didn't actually know you were going to be a man. I didn't expect you to stab your brother. That's amazing. Um, he also accused him of some other things like they, like, uh, I think it might've been in a guardian article I read or something where he was basically saying like they made him participate in blood rituals or they were taking him to a blood bank. Oh yeah. I read that too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something about that. Um, it's hard to know because they adopt this kid who is a has problems. And yeah, here we go. This wasn't the guardian. What was this? This is, uh, the South African dot com. South African. Yeah. Blood rituals, porn and violence. Dantwood's child slave tells all.

Here's the thing about, uh, so talky, they picked him up in his community of fight us, fiat us at the time and men, but you want to talk about accents that are horrible. I mean, the South African accent is the worst accent. It sounds like an Australian like, uh, it just has like, uh, uh, uh, uh, is has down syndrome. It's like, it's horrible. So it's fight us. He said in an interview, my mother said it was going to be a good experience. So I went, imagine Dantwood shows up and the mother's like, yeah, it's going to be great. Get in the car. Um, the controversial group whose music includes lyrics and imagery based on Satanism, gangsterism, incest and other social ills. Use the children as actors and props

in their music videos and album covers. Uh, he said that they split their time between Cape Town and Johannesburg and also in Los Angeles. Well, of course, um, he has a rare skin disease and they took him in and, uh, some of the allegations include that he was exposed to pornography and sex toys, uh, the sauna stuff, the naked stuff, taking the children to a private clinic to allegedly have their blood withdrawn for a blood ritual, congratulating him after he stabbed his brother, making Taki and his friends reenact the violent stabbing scenes in their music videos. Taki discovering black magic in a box in their family home and partaking in rituals, exposing the children to dangerous gangsters.

Uh, here's the thing and Taki, my heart goes out to you here, but you have to be a little realistic. There's, there wasn't a line of people at going to adopt you, you know, like there wasn't, they weren't breaking down the doors to get, to get in there and put the presents under the Christmas tree. Sometimes in life, when people show you kindness, it does come with some unwanted, uh, aspects, uh, such as the blood rituals. Now, I don't know the, uh, de-antwered people and I, I, I, they're entertaining. Um, but, you know, this whole thing really comes down to three words and they're the same three words that you use in any sales, uh, arrangement. When somebody goes, it's too expensive and you

have to use these three words that kind of, uh, is what I would say to kind of Taki. And those three words are compared to what? Yes, it's expensive compared to what the blood rituals are bad compared to what, what was kind of the other option, right? I mean, unfortunately there wasn't a ton happening. I mean, outside of him kind of being in a Rob Zombie film, it wasn't going to really, uh, pop off here. And I think his sting comes off a little ungrateful because they, you know, they hang out in Johannesburg and it's, it's incredibly violent there and there's gangsters and they do crazy drugs and they run through the jungle and they participate in, in, in rituals and stuff, you know, you know, again, it's not a perfect childhood

by any stretch, right? It's not ice skating. It's not like a great like, oh, Easter egg hunt. And, you know, oh, we, we summer in Maine. Sure. You're not in a Maine sailing camp Taki. But Taki, I don't think that childhood is without its charms and I don't think that it's right to come out and completely throw your parents under the bus just because they made you participate in blood rituals in the jungle. It's kind of the price of fame. I live in Los Angeles. Do you know how many, well, not really, I split my time, but when I'm here, I mean, do you know how many people in this town are partaking in blood rituals just to get ahead and can barely even do it? And, you know, he had a seat at the table here with Dianne when they were,

they were big. They're, it's not, they're not huge now. This has kind of hurt them. I think, do they have a statement? Yolande or Ninja? Do they have a statement? Do they want to come on the program and address this? So if you Google them getting canceled, they actually got canceled for a totally other thing. They smacked a gay rapper that they were in some feud with, right? I think that was the idea. Some musician they weren't a feud with. Because they're homophobic according to this. Well, yeah, but I don't know. They were in some feud, some guy named Andy Butler. I really, I have no idea what goes on in the Zeph community of South Africa and I'm not going to learn. But yeah, I just, so they got canceled over that. And, and now the blood rituals,

I mean, they just can't catch and break these people. Yeah. It's a real string of scandals. It's a string of scandals and it's unfortunate. But Taki, I guess, had enough. He said, this isn't the way to live. Play a little of him. So here's a, I think this right about here is him talking about, uh, him stabbing his brother right here. Right. Okay. Here we go. I mean, imagine if you had to hear this in your home. I mean, imagine if you had to hear this, this accent from hell. I mean, when he's saying they said on the demon, is he sure they're wrong? This accent is preposterous. Keep going with this. God.

Hold on. I think I'm playing it on a, playing it double speed. Oh, let's see if it's better single speed. Okay. Leave that in though. That was terrifying. I watched things on double speed sometimes here. So let's go back and let's see here. Yeah. Let's see if it's now huge. It's even worse. It's worse. God, make it stop. That make it stop. They adopted him and he's complaining. He's complaining. You're complaining? I mean, you should say thank you. So now what's his, what's, what's he up to here? Early a day, early a day, and then like he was looking for a speaker. So he came to me,

he woke me up. He said like, yeah, he woke me up and then I got up and then we started fighting over speaker and my phone. And then like when he punched me, I took out a knife from my prophet and then I stabbed him like three times, one in the neck, in the arm, I think in the ribs or something. I'm not sure exactly where, but yeah. And my sister was also there. She saw everything that happened. Like she was there when I, when I looked to the door to go out, I saw my sister and a friend that actually stays across the road from my house. So yeah, that kind of missed my whole mind up there. Did your brother go to hospital? Yes, he actually, like after I stabbed him, I actually pressed the alarm, the security alarm,

like to let a paramedics come, the security and police, everything responds at once. So I pressed the response button, then I couldn't open the gate because as soon as your response button goes off and I opened the gate, my brother was going to be able to, be able to run faster out with me. So I closed the door behind me after pressing the alarm, then I jumped over the gate with electrical wire, I shocked a few times, fell outside, I got up, I got up, I ran like a block away, I hid in the bushes, I looked, I watched the whole thing, like the whole thing, how the cops came, how the security came, how the ambulance came, I saw everything, like I was just up the road in the bushes,

hiding, checking everything, you know. And then like few, like it was like two hours after that, I went home, I went to go take a shower, one of my homeboys was actually there in the house, you can also tell you the same story, like I'll introduce you like in the future or whatever, like then you can also tell the same story, like his way of how he saw it, but anyway, that's how it happened, like for me, it's like I almost killed my own brother, but I also saved his life, but yeah, but it was been dead. I mean, is he, is this a, is he a prize? Is this a prize? I think he wants to be an actor. You know, my question is, is this a prize if you adopt this? This is my question. And I'm being, I'm being completely honest and serious here. If you adopt

this and this starts stabbing people in the home, is this a prize? Is this a prize? Could I defend talky here? Yeah, sure. So they encouraged him. Everyone will. I'm always the monster. I'm always the monster. Everyone will defend the guy who just said he stabbed his brother in the neck. It's my fault. It's Deantwood's fault. It's everyone's fault because he's supposedly traumatized by a couple of blood rituals. A little black magic in the bush. Little black magic in the bush is not a reason to attack your brother with a knife, sir. Who hasn't done a blood ritual with their parents in a bush? Defend talky. Ninja and what's her name? Yolande. Ninja and Yolande.

They, uh, they knew he fought with his brother a lot and they encouraged him to be a man and to, to kill his brother. And so when he stabbed him a bunch, they said, they shook, uh, ninja shook talky's hand and said, congratulations. You're, you're, you're finally a man. You've stuck up for yourself. He was like 12 at the time. Well, how is it a defensive talky? That's an indictment of the other two. That's not a defensive him. Yeah, that's fair. Actually, I mean, I'm told to do a lot of things. I don't do them. It's true. He was an impressionable child and maybe they gave him some false confidence. I'm just, listen, it, from what I surmise, it wasn't a great family unit for anyone involved.

I don't think it was a good thing. And I wish everyone the best here. I just, you know, yes, it's, you know, but, you know, the deal, uh, when you move in with the ant word, right? You're not, I mean, he was too young to know the deal, but his mother should have known the deal when she said her child to live with the ant word in the middle of some South African nightmare. I mean, the music's fine too, but after a while you're like, okay, enough already. But to fully enjoy it, I think you got to be on bass. So it's running around the bush with a machete. Anyway, moving on, wish, wish them well. It's, hey, it ain't a Hallmark Christmas card. That's all. That's all. It's not a Hallmark Christmas card. The economy is really in trouble.

Netflix down 71%. A lot of the streamers are getting beaten up. A lot of the tech companies are getting battered. Bitcoin falling. Everybody upset. Interest rates rising. Real estate market starting to soften. Uh, the cost of debt has gone up dramatically for all of these companies like Netflix that were running on debt. Wealthy Americans are buying second passports as a plan B for their families, citing the pandemic climate change and political turmoil. Well, who called this? Not Taki, but I did. I said people were going to get the fuck out of this country. I'm thinking about it myself. My grandfather was born in Ireland. I might be able to get EU citizenship by, uh, I don't know, some type of thing. Um, maybe I'll move in with

the ant word. But the point is people are really starting to look at America, not as this inevitable world power anymore. They're looking at it as a place they might want to have. Hey, maybe we'll have a spot there, but you know, cause it was during the pandemic, people were looking at New York and LA going, Oh, maybe they're not inevitable. Maybe I should just have a spot there. Now it's kind of like people are looking at the whole entire country going, Hey, maybe it's not inevitable. Maybe I'll just have a spot there. Maybe we'll just have a home there and we can, uh, you know, kind of jet set around be a citizen of the world. And it says here, the number of wealthy Americans buying quote, golden passports has skyrocketed over the past three years. The top

programs grant citizenship to foreigners who invest millions of dollars in the country. US applicants are citing COVID, all kinds of other things, climate change, political division, and people want out most expensive programs range from 1.1 million in Malta to 9.5 million in Austria. We see these programs as an insurance policy, a managing partner at latitude residency and citizenship said, we've had some billionaires approach us and ask what's the best place to live if there's a climate catastrophe, or if there's another storm or global pandemic, where should I be? You know, it's funny, the four, the Beverly Hills hotel, which we love sent me a little thing. They sent me a package and they're like, to all of our really treasured guests, we'd like you to

write some of your favorite memories to the Beverly Hills hotel and send them back. And you know, I love the Beverly Hills hotel, but like, I don't want homework, you know, but and they send you like stationary to write it, you know, you're supposed to write it on like stationary, I guess. And I wanted to write like, I felt really safe there during the riots or something. And you go, like, what are you going to, what am I going to, what am I going to write here? And I love the Beverly Hills hotel, but it's like, I'm not trying to do a book report, I don't want to write up what, but it just made me think about like, all of the people that, you know, over the last couple of years who've really just started to say, you know what, I have

a lot of money and I like America and it's a great place, but there's other places too that I may like. And if there's another pandemic or there's a climate catastrophe, which there will be, or there's a civil unrest, I would like to maybe go somewhere else. And you look a lot in the climate and aren't there places that they're going to fare better during climate catastrophes than other places, right? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to get out of the South. So yeah, what are the places that are going to do? Okay. Is it that Cortilane, Idaho area? Is it the mountainous regions? Too many fires up there. So you got to think about that. You kind of got to go up where Yannis is up in that area, up in the, uh, the Finger Lakes, okay, around there,

upper Michigan and like parts of, uh, like Montana and Wisconsin, like that's kind of it. Yeah. Part of Canada. I'll die. I'd rather die to live in upper Michigan. But no, but that is a, I understand what they're saying. They're saying you got to get away from the waters. Well, you got to get a place with the fires and you need fresh water to drink and to grow crops. You need a water aqua fire, maybe, you know, well, no hurricanes, no flooding, no fires, no, uh, and no food shortages. Yeah. So you need, and by the way, let's talk about the food shortage because a lot of people are saying that this is actually, well, first of all, this I love, this, this is new. And by the way, you know that, uh, and by the way, we know I'm not a fitness guru.

It's not how I've made my living, but, uh, I'm not claiming to be that, you know what I mean? This is, I'm not a wellness expert. This isn't what I do. But you know that evil billionaires do put out content through like a lot of times they will put content out through like these wellness blogs and stuff because like, uh, it'll be some version of like three meals a day. We don't think so. And you know that that's coming from people who are trying to prepare you for not having food. It's not about your health and wellness. That's not what it's about. They tell you that right now. No one really cares about your health and wellness. They don't care that if you're hot, because that's what health is. It's like, are you hot? Do people want to fuck you? That's like,

that's what wellness means. It really should mean like, are you healthy and whatever, but that's not what it really means. It means, are you fuckable? Can you put things in your pussy and make money online? It doesn't mean like, are you like, what, how, how are your cells? Like it's not, all the wellness things are about being hot. There's nothing wrong with being hot. It should be the goal, right? But when they, when they have these things and they do all the time, like there's just articles that are weirdly suspicious. They're like, are you drinking too much water? Like, and you, you start going to yourself like, wait a minute, who's this for? And where is it coming from? And I saw one of them and I thought about it. And this is what it, and where is this

from? What, uh, study finds, uh, study finds research in a nutshell. So this is some think tank. Somebody's bank rolling this, ready? End of dinner? Question mark? Landmark study shows eating only during daytime could add years to your life. So again, you have the food shortages and inflation and the cost of everything has gone up. And now the articles are starting to come out. They're like, Hey, you need to eat at night too. Guys, guys, uh, you ate during the day. Yeah. That's when you eat. They'll start gaslighting. You'd be like, uh, dinner was like never, it was like never thing to eat at night. It's like a rich people thing as a luxury. Occasionally you'll have a dinner, but the vast majority of people eat bread for breakfast

and some type of grain and then whatever old meat that we've given them. And then they're done eating by dusk because you don't eat at night. Eating primarily during the day instead of at night could be key to longer life researchers from the University of Texas, Southwestern Medical Center. Well, there, I mean, that's the top school in the world. Uh, said it's not what you consume, but when their study finds it cutting down on fatty and sugary foods and having meals at the right time, increased longevity by 35% experiments found the body's clock daily rhythms play a big part in the benefits of a healthy diet. And we all know you shouldn't eat late at night. We all know these things. We all know that you should eat in

a certain window. Nobody's arguing about that. What's funny to me is that the articles just comes out coincidentally as everybody's talking about like a food shortage. These articles start to trickle out where they're like, uh, I don't know about dinner. That's a little archaic. She eat during the day. Don't you want to be healthy? Uh, within that in mind, study authors say people should restrict their dining to the most active hours during the day, which for most Americans are nothing. They're zero. At least at night, you have a night terror. You're somewhat active. Most Americans are sloth like for the entire day. They're koala bears. And at least at night they're slightly active because they wake up, uh, uh, terror because they owe so much money

to everybody and they run around their house and they're having like acid reflux and they're spitting up, uh, hot, you know, garbage that they just ate in a fast food place. And so at least they're a little active at night during the day in lab animals tracked over four years or reduced calorie diet alone, extended survival by 10%. However, the improvement increased significantly with an exclusive nighttime feeding schedule. I'm sorry. Uh, uh, the combination tacked on an extra nine months of their typical two year average lifespan, however the improvement, um, uh, however the improvement increased significantly with an exclusive nighttime feeding schedule. I don't know what that means. What does that mean? They seem to be reversing

themselves. Lead author Professor Joseph Takashi says a similar plan for people who restrict eating to daytime hours. Okay. Cause animals are active at night eating less is known to boost health studies on over, you know, so again, this is what's coming here. It's, it's not, listen, again, we all know that you shouldn't be eating fucking cheeseburgers at fucking nine PM. What this is really saying. Here they go. Does intermittent fasting really work? This is the next thing to watch this. The next thing's going to be just fasting. They're like, how about fasting? Forget the intermittent, just fast. We don't have any more food for you. We've spent all the money. Sorry. So it's just funny. Now, bring up something about these food shortages

because people are panicking. A friend of mine texted me, she's like, do you think the food shortages are real? And I'm like, yeah, I believe they probably are. Oh, these are bad headlines. Baby formula shortages, baby formula, a big shortage right now of baby formula. Go up to the first one. The baby food one parent stressed over baby formula shortage and limits quote, it's insane. A baby formula shortage has turned into a nationwide food crisis for parents across our country desperate to feed their infants. Retail outlets have seen a 30% drop in the availability of some popular brand. Well, then just start writing articles about that. Is your infant to relying on formula? Is your infant a fat fuck? Our new blog about infant

wellness as your infant should start. How about they start doing intermittent fasting? Retail outlets have seen 30% drop in the availability of some popular brands due to supply chain issues, labor shortages, inflation, safety concerns. Were you breastfed or bottlefed? Breast. I was bottlefed. It's interesting. Um, bottlefed, go into that because I'm curious now as to because everyone said like the bottlefed kids were going to be all fucked up. Maybe they are. I haven't looked at the stats, but the breastfed kids are fucked up. You want me to see bottlefed versus breastfed? Yeah. Are there any stats on that? Because isn't this, couldn't this be, if you're making your own milk, do you need the formula?

I'm ignorant of this. Maybe infants who are formula fed or fed a mixture of formula in human milk were 2.8 times more likely to develop gastrointestinal infection than those who were exclusively breastfed. So it's a little better to breastfeed. Looks like it. Now, why don't, now not all women breastfeed and it's a thing, right? Is it health? Yeah. Well, you don't also don't want to take the breast out everywhere you go. So it's just easier to just have it in the bottle and everything. And it hurts the woman too. The baby will chew on the, on the nipple. Yeah. Well, my whole thing is, is there a cure for this? If everybody just starts breastfeeding, would that solve this? I guess so, right? Cause it's unlimited. It comes

from the breast, right? Let me Google. Do you need, do you have to feed babies formula? You have to feed. When you're toddler is 12 months old, you can switch from infant formula to plain whole cow's milk. So it's a year. Okay. Or fortified unsweetened soy beverage. If you want them to be a soy boy. So the deal is it's only, this is a year, but it's still a problem. If you can't get formula any year and for whatever reason, if you can't breastfeed and the children are, you know, suffering, didn't buy, Biden just came out and goes, it'll get worse. That's always nice. It's always good when, when, when the politicians make it feel better. Well, this was what he said on March 25th, because it's going to be real.

That's great. It's going to be real man. That's always good to hear, but he just said something recently. It's on drudge. I think he said, like, it's going to get worse. I think he's like, Hey man, I know it's bad now, but it's actually going to be worse. You know, you're not going to, you think things are rough. It's going to actually get worse. Biden finally admits Biden finally admits soaring inflation is a real tough problem. Suggest it may get worse. Here, play this, uh, clip. He's like, you're going to have less formula. You have, you think he hit, you think you have no formula now? He goes formula. Buying a bottle of baby formula is going to be like buying a bottle of crystal.

Do you take any responsibility for inflation in this country? Do you take any responsibility for your policies? I think our policies help not hurt. Think about what they say. The vast majority of the, of the, uh, of the economist think that this is going to be a real tough problem to solve, but it's not because of spending. We brought down the deficit. The bottom line is how much does America? Oh, how much in the hole are we going? We're reducing that. Well, that makes you feel better. If, if you're sitting there and the formulas run dry and you're sitting there with a screaming infant and then he comes out and he's like, we're reducing that. We're fixing that. Come on. I mean, it's really ugly. How much is Bitcoin down? Huh? It's like at 31,000 right now.

It may be time to buy soon, buy some coin. Ooh, it's even down lower. It's 30. It could be, I don't know. Is it the death knell? I don't think so. Is it at the floor? It could be smarter people than me. Think it's still, there's still some blood in the water and I just, you know, I'm a, I don't know. I'm not ready to buy any yet. I'm not ready to buy any yet, but it could be, I like this box. Why the stock market and Bitcoin keep crashing. The stock market's panicking, but you don't have to. Yeah. I mean, it's really, if you have money now, it'll be a great time to make money. You can buy stocks at, you know, when they hit a floor or when you think they're at a floor, you can buy Bitcoin. This is when people get rich, right?

Rich people get even richer when they have the opportunity to go in and swoop in and buy things that other. So I mean, I don't know if you are in a financial position to monitor this stuff and go in and buy some stuff, it could be nice. And you could look back on it years from now. Why don't you, but why don't we buy baby formula and sell it? Like, like buy it up in bulk. Could we do that? Is there any law preventing us probably, but from buying baby formula in bulk and then going to poor areas and selling it? Yeah, because grocery stores can buy them in bulk, right? So, so could we. I mean, it's a great idea to just buy, instead of merch on our website, let's just sell baby formula at an increased cost. It's called arbitrage. It happens all the time.

Buy baby formula and sell it to big. And let's be honest, it's not the time. This is great. Now they're overturning Roe v Wade. Nobody has formula. Those babies do not need to be here truly. And the reality is those babies are going to show up hungry for formula, which we don't have. So it's time for the Supreme court to fucking relax and fucking extend abortion to seven or eight months even really on the operating day. At this point, the economy demands on the operating table, depending on the price of formula that day, you should be able to get rid of it. If formula is high the week before you're about to give birth, they should have a special before they overturn Roe v Wade. What if they did this? They're going to overturn it, but they said

for the next six months, because of the shortages on formula and how expensive everything is, we are planning to overturn Roe v Wade. But for the next six months, abortion is legal up into an including day of birth just to, you know, just get in while the getting's good. And then we're banning it. But up to including the day of birth where they will, you literally give birth to a baby and they give it lethal injection on the, what on the operating table because right now we financially can't do it. It's like, have you ever wanted a puppy and your parents had to go, we can't do it right now. People are desperate. We can't even control the babies we have here in our country. We certainly can't be bringing, we should do a Chinese style ban on

birth. I'm not even, for 100%, get a Bitcoin if you want to have a kid and see if you can watch that for a year with the highs and lows of that. It's fucking pretty much like a lot of people say, oh, having kids greatest thing in your life. Have you owned a Bitcoin? The highs and the lows? Oh, your kids, your kid just won a fucking hockey game. Everyone's happy. Oh, Bitcoin's high. Oh, the kid broke his arm in the next hockey game. I'm worried Bitcoin's low. A Bitcoin is a perfect replacement for a child. All the highs and lows that you used to get from a traditional nuclear family structure you can now get from cryptocurrency. Yes or yes. Yes. You don't need a bunch of children running around your house. Unless you're Dant, wouldn't you want to do blood rituals with them?

You don't need them running around your house. You can get all of that fulfillment and drama from Bitcoin. If you own crypto and you watch it, go up and down. What do people do when they have a kid? They have all this mommy shit, right? Mommy bloggers, they watch YouTubes of mommy. We've got that. The crypto community has all of that. You can watch Will Clemente, that fucking 19-year-old autistic twink, and he just sits there and he rattles off things all day. Listen, all you can clearly replace your need to have children with the Bitcoin world. Just buy a Bitcoin. A Bitcoin costs $30,000. That's essentially the startup cost of having a baby when you think of the crabs and the stuff. And it only gets more expensive from there. My point is that it's incredibly

irresponsible right now to have children. We need to put like a year or two moratorium on all birth in America where if you, you're laughing, but I'm not wrong. The reason China's overtaking us is because they don't get emotional about this shit. Moratorium on all birth for one to two years of every race. Don't even come at me with that. It's not about that. Every race. Close the doctors and hospitals down in the OBGYNs. Close it down. Treat mothers like criminals. Put them in jail and forcibly abort their children for a period of one to two years until the economy can rebound and give them crypto while you're, give them crypto so they can fucking have something to watch and care about every day and look after. Give them cryptocurrency, take their babies from them

and kill them. We don't have the money. It's incredibly selfish to keep bringing life into this world when we have artificial intelligence AI. We have enough simulated life. We don't need any more biological life. We've got enough. Elon, things are getting better. Elon Musk is buying Twitter. He's going to let me threaten to kill my aunt on Twitter again. Things are going to be okay. Elon's going to let me put my answer dress on Twitter and tell people to go kill her. I think, isn't that what this is about? Isn't Elon buying Twitter specifically so that I can encourage my fans to go kill my aunt? If that's not what it's about, I'm not even excited about it anymore. That's my question. My question is simply, I'm sick of this baby shit all the time.

I'm sick of arguing about it. I'm saying, let's not only should we not ban Roe v. Wade, we should ban birth, go the other way and just until inflation comes down, until the cost of price. How bad is the cost right now of the food, the cost of actual food? Of actual food? Yeah. Find out how much it costs. Let's see if there's a list of like top 10 foods and how much they cost. I just spilled this water. Cause I'm so passionate. You want me to go get a towel? No. Okay. Can you look up the foods? Cause I'm curious about, here we go. Here's an item by item. Look at how much more expensive your groceries are due to inflation. Let's go. Read some of them off. Okay. A bag of orange. First of all, first of all, first of all,

we, it is so funny how disgusting our country is by the sixth choice. It just is disgusting. Tell everybody, so bag of orange is up 14%. Okay. Ground beef, two pounds of beef up 13%. Land O'Lakes margarine up 11%. I'm rounding. It's 11.4. Eglin's best eggs up 11%. Milk up 11%. Now here's where we get disgusting. Now by the way, this was just a general article about the groceries of Americans. Ready? Just tells you something. Entomans classic rich frosted donuts, 16 ounce. These are your needs. This is your necessities. These, this was pitched. Go up, go to the title again. The title is title of this. Here's an item by item look at how much more expensive your groceries are due to inflation. So they're talking about just general like

groceries. Okay. Entomans donuts under that hungry man, boneless fried chicken dinner. What gas station attendant is this for? Hungry man, boneless fried chicken is up 11%. Starbucks coffee is up 10%. Campbell's soup, up 10%. Chips ahoy cookies is up 8.5%. Two heads of lettuce, which no one is buying is up 8%. Apples are up 7.8. Corn flakes is up 7. Spam. Classic canned ham is up 7%. Spam. Spearmint chewing gum is up 7%. Wonder breads up 6.5. Soda, two packages of 12. Well you need 24. You need 24 Kansas soda. That's a 5%. Of course you need 24 Kansas soda. Maybe you're a family of three. Hoggadoss vanilla ice cream. Well this I don't like. Hoggadoss vanilla ice cream is up 3.3%.

Russet potatoes are up 3%. So a trip to the grocery store for a family right now is crazy. It's really bad and there's no end in sight. Well there are recipes and this is where I get a little, I kind of have some life hacks because I do know there are some recipes that you can make for a family. Now you come from a large family right? Right. There are recipes that you can make for your family that will hold up. Right? There are like things that you can make that will last several days. You know every day doesn't have to be a new meal really. You can make like recipes that are you know resilient and they stand the test of time for people. And there are a lot, there's a lot of them that family. Like let's say you had a family. Let's say you, you're an American family. You've

got a, you have a man and you have a woman and you have two children. Okay. And you need to feed that unit for five days. Monday through Friday. Okay. Now Monday through Friday. Okay. Monday through Friday. What you could do, how much is a 50 pound bag of rice? If you got a 50 pound bag of rice. Okay. Take a look at that rice. $30. That is a 50 pounder right there. $30. Yeah. Take a look at that. Rice land. White long grain rice. $50. I'm going to show you people a little trick. How much ragu tomato sauce? What? Ragu tomato? How much is it? It is my question because it's what 30 for the rice. Yeah. $30 for the rice. I want a big jar. You go to the biggie. Okay.

That biggin. How much is that? 8.5 pounds. That's right. I like sauce and pounds. Right. Cause my aunt used to make this for her children. My aunt made this meal for her children. I'm not kidding. Not, not the one I dislike, the one I like, but she made this for her children. I'm going to tell you about a meal that you can make for your family that will eat through the week, eat through the week from Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Right. How much is that ragu? 11.39. Let's do some math. Let me get a calculator. Yeah. I'd like you to because we're, we're putting together a meal that eats through the week. It's what you need to do to survive these times. And I am a little bit of a gourmand.

I can tell you exactly what to do to make it special. Okay. So right now, $41 we have what? We've got eight pounds of tomato sauce, ragu. Yes. And we have 50 pounds of white rice. Okay. Ingredient number three, American cheese. How much can you get American cheese for? I'm talking about a block. Okay. A block. Go to Deets and Watson right there. This one right here? Yeah. Deets and Watson. No, not white American yellow. I like the color. Okay. So that's going to be same price. Same price. What do we got? How, how much? We got a half a pound for four bucks. So two pounds is how much? That would be 32 ounces. $16. Right. I'm sorry. My math is, I'm like retarded, but $16 for cheese. Add that to the 41. Okay. And I may do, I may make this

on the show to show you how to do it. Here's what you're going to do. You're going to get a big pot and you're going to boil the white rice. Okay. Okay. When the rice is, but not all of it, not all of it. Okay. You don't splooge all over the woman before she's pleasure. You take a little bit of the rice that you need, however, whatever will fill your family. You know, how many cups of rice per person? Two cups, three cups. About two cups. About two cups of rice per person. More than a serving there. Yeah. More than a serving. Well, you give them a lot. It's because this is what they're eating. This is it. There's nothing else. So you give them a good amount and you take, you take the ragu tomato sauce, you mix it up with the rice. Okay.

And you could do the ragu with the vegetables in it because then it is some vegetables and you mix it up with the rice. You melt, you go to the microwave after you've done that and you melt two slices of American cheese or you could shred it on top of the white rice and the ragu tomato sauce and you mix it up. You mix up the cheese and the sauce and the rice and then you feed your family. Well, why are you saying no? Why are you saying no? You privileged prick. What's, what are you saying no for? It's like dog food. No, it's not. It's not like dog food at all. It's people need to live. You sick fuck. People need to live. It's not dog food. It's white rice with ragu tomato sauce and then melted American cheese through it.

And it gives you enough, you can survive for a week with how much money, how much did that all cost? That was, let's see here. So it was $57 and 38 cents. Divided by five. Okay. Divided by five. $11 and 47 cents. For $11 and 47 cents, you can feed your entire family for the week. Is that a problem? Now I'm going to do school lunch. Okay. I just gave you dinner. Okay. Breakfast is easy, right? Breakfast, you could just buy big tubs of oatmeal. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Easy. Easy. I'm not even dignifying breakfast with an N. You can get free breakfast half the time. Okay. You go pretend you work at a company and get their breakfast. You can get free breakfast if you want to get it.

It's easy to get free breakfast. Go attend the seminar. They'll give you free breakfast. Now, and you don't need breakfast either. For school lunch, this is a very easy thing to do. If you want to make school lunch for your kids. Okay. You get a bag of white rice. You get ragu tomato sauce and you get American cheese. You cook the rice and you mix it in with the tomato sauce and then you melt the cheese through the rice. You get a tupperware and you put it in it and you send them to school with it. That is easy. So if people are complaining about inflation and that they don't have any money or you could give your kids to the ant word, either way, I don't care. I'm just saying it's

an easy meal. It's an easy meal. It's not a big deal. Well, I'm sorry. What did you eat duck all orange every night? Is that what you ate with your family? What was a meal that you people would have? I don't know. Like, you know, don't you eat sandwiches on like holidays? Yeah, turkey sandwiches, chicken spaghetti. What are you chicken spaghetti? Yeah, which is like olives and is that worse than what I said? Not really. No. No. I'm sorry. Is that better than what I said? Like chicken spaghetti? Is that a thing? The thing you described is that a real thing or did you just make it? My aunt used to make it for her children. What's it called? And one of them is a mover. He's doing fine. Listen, what do you mean? What's it called? It's called rice with tomato

sauce and American cheese. And you would eat it. She tried to make it for me once. I threw the plate in her head. I said, don't come near me. But that's what it is. That's a way to eat. You want a meal that'll eat through the week, eat through the week. What about stuffing? Can you make a big pot of stuffing for your family and just give them stuffing? Stovetop. That's pricey. It's up there. That is very expensive. Stovetop stuffing. Here's an off brand from signature. You know, my father used to make mashed potatoes. It started out as powder. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's like a divorce dad meal. You get some powdered mashed potatoes. He would take steak, London broil, he'd burn it, he'd put it on a bagel. That's like a divorce. Yeah, that's right.

Idahoan. This is instant potatoes. This is what people in this country eat. They eat Tyson, Holly Farms chicken. They eat instant mashed potatoes. I mean, this is what people eat. And there's nothing wrong with it. This is our diet. This is our culture. Yeah, look at this. By the way, pull that up. This actually looks great. Tomato, rice with cheddar, and you're acting like it's like a problem. It looks like Olive Garden. Olive Garden. He'd be lucky as hell to be at Olive Garden. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. It looks, it actually doesn't look bad. You'd be lucky as hell to be in an Olive Garden with the way things are going in this country. That's the meal you make. Rice, sauce, cheese, move on. Or you know those oyster

ret crackers that you get for free with a soup? Yes. If you give your kids like, so for example, you can get those oyster ret crackers. You might be able to go to a restaurant, if you go to Red Lobster at the end of the night, you look sad and go, do you have any leftover oyster crackers? They might give you somebody. Also, here's the other thing, folks, if things are big, you know, like beg at local restaurants. And if you have cute kids, send the kids in to like Applebee's and to shift and tell them go, listen, if you turn the waterworks on a little bit, we might be able to get some. Send your, this is America. It's about ingenuity. It's not about sitting on your couch and feeling sorry for yourself. It's about sending your

children in to local theme restaurants to beg for food. That's America. It's why we follow these wars. If you don't have anything to eat, send your children Olive Garden crying at 955 and ask and just say, we don't have any food. My parents are too embarrassed to ask, can you give us food? Send your children into the Olive Garden five minutes before close and ask for leftover food. Say, I don't even, even if it was on someone else's plate, I don't even, now obviously they're not going to give you food off of someone else's plate, but enhancing the desperation will help you. I mean, or you could just sit back and take it. But if I know something about America, the greatest country on earth, land of the free, home of the brave, it's that we don't, we really,

when the going gets tough, the tough send their children to, into beg for food. So, and then you can all go home with the food that you just got from the cheesecake factory to give you some leftover food, maybe to give you a big thing of mashed taters. And then you could go home and you could watch Selling Sunset or one of the real estate shows. And you can tell your children how great it is that we live in a country where people paid $10 million to live in shitboxes stacked on top of each other on top of the sunset heroin strip. And you can explain that to them while they eat their mashed potatoes that they were given because they cried at the cheesecake factory during close or could give them the ant word, whatever. But that's the way I feel.

Tim Dylan comedy.com. There are no live dates, nothing to buy tickets to leave me alone. We don't have any merch either. Go away. Special will be out in June. It'll be irrelevant, but it'll be fine. It's funny. It's good. It's fine. Patreon.com, the Tim Dylan show for exclusive content. We are going to catch up on some of the episodes. We've been doing all the regular Patreon episodes, but we have a higher tier called the Rothschilds tier, the Rothschilds tier. And we are going to do all their episodes this week. We owe them a lot and we're going to do a big episode this week. So it's a lot of fun over there on Patreon. A lot of bonus content. We will be around all the time now in this studio. You're going to see us so much you're going to get sick of it.

But I will tell you, I will tell you this right now. And I mean this. I do believe in America. And I believe that we're going to be able to get through this time, which is difficult economically by begging chain restaurants for food, having children go in there and beg them for food. And you tell your children, go listen. You can listen. If you want to eat the rice thing again, they're going to go, I'm sick of that. You're going to go, all right, well, we're going to drive them to it, drive them to a sonic and have them cry and maybe to give the family a milkshake. It's the greatest country in the world. I mean, it is. Isn't that what all these people keep saying? Oh no, you know, it's the greatest country in the world because you can do this. This is what makes

it great because you can, your children can cry and go into a steak and shake or whatever. And Krispy Kreme and they can cry and go, my family doesn't have any money. They don't, they don't have any money. And they won't, they won't ask, can I have a donut? And they might give you 12 donuts. They might give you a whole dozen. We're going to get through it together. And the way to get through it is to be smart, to be smarter than everything, you know? I mean, I think we're going to handle it. A food shortage, by the way, is hard to understand because it seems plentiful. Food seems so plentiful out there, but there are a lot of families that are struggling with the ability to feed themselves.

And if there is a charity that you know of that you can like recommend to me that will help like families that are in need of food, let me know what that charity is, you know? Because it is, it is a tough predicament that certain people are in. But I, before I donate, I want to speak to the people and tell them to try this first. I'll give you food if you try this and it doesn't work. But try this. You got a couple of cute kids that might give them food. Not Taki. Don't send Taki in there. They'll call the cops. That won't work with Taki. Don't send Taki in with Chili's. I'm saying for the other people, it's the greatest country in the world. And I think that we should

all just understand that. So next week, very exciting. We have our summer special episode, which will be all of the places you can go on vacation on a budget. We're very excited about that because there are so many places that you can go now and eat. And I'm sorry, end the vacation on a real budget, like a real budget for like hundreds of dollars. You could take a family on a trip because I think everybody needs a trip. It's the summer. We've been through a hell of a two years and a lot of people are going to do a staycation. They're going to get the family together and everybody wants to gringo poppy. But you also want to go out there and be able to take them to the amusement park and, you know, give them food. So we'll have that for you when we come back.

Thank you. Good night.