The Tim Dillon Show - 303 - Meeting In The Woods

Episode Date: June 19, 2022

Tim Dillon lets you know that even though we are entering one of the worst economic recessions everything is going to be okay, and why he's comforted by the podcasts of Jennifer Aniston, Jason Bateman, and all celebrities. Bonus episodes every week: ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: HELIX BED ▶▶ https://www.helixsleep.com/timd for 200 dollars off Mattress orders and two free pillows WATCHES ▶▶ for 20% off go to https://www.vincerocollective.com/timdillon 🔒 VPN: Get three months free ▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon 📦 BOX OF AWESOME ▶▶ http://boxofawesome.com use code TIMDILLON at checkout for 20% off CRYPTO ▶▶ http://exodus.com/tim to start free. Over 4 million people trust Exodus to manage their crypto. Join the movement away from traditional finance by downloading Exodus. ONNIT ▶▶ Go to http://onnit.com/tim for 10% off EVERY MAN JACK ▶▶ https://www.everymanjack.com to get 20% off your first purchase use code DILLON 🎧 HEADPHONES: For 15% off! ▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim 👨‍🦱 HAIR LOSS: ▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon 💆THERAPY ▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMD BIRD DOGS! ▶▶ https://www.birddogs.com/ use code TIMDILLON ATHLETIC GREENS ▶▶ https://athleticgreens.com/timdillon MASTERWORKS ▶▶ https://masterworks.art/tim SIMPLI SAFE ▶▶ https://simplisafe.com/timdillon to save 20% MUD\WTR ▶▶ https://mudwtr.com/tim use code TIM for $5 off STARTMAIL: start securing email privacy! ▶▶ https://startmail.com/timd for 50% off your first year! Watch SteveWillDoIt's Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC55JghDUfUatuLc1wp4uGoA ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ 🐦 Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon 🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows 📹 Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4woSp8ITBoYDmjkukhEhxg Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds  ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▶▶ Ed McMahon [e-mail] https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ #TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show from the Gas Digital Studio in New York City. The original home of the show that you are now watching. Ben Avery is with us. The economy is tanking. I feel silly that I spent $50,000 on the sunglasses that you're looking at right now. $50,000. I feel stupid about that. There is a diamond in the middle of them. $50,000. These sunglasses once belonged to Dodie Al-Fayed. Do you know who Dodie Al-Fayed is? I have to look this up. Look up Dodie Al-Fayed. These were his sunglasses.

Who was he for the retards in the audience? It doesn't know anything. Egyptian film producer and the son of billionaire Mohammed Al-Fayed. How did he die? He was the romantic partner of Diana, Princess of Wales, when they both died in a car crash in Paris. And the sunglasses were taken off his head. They were sent to an auction house and I have them now. That's what doing well means. That's what doing well means. And I don't apologize for it. But of course, it's Pride Month. We're here. Ben's queer. Get used to it.

Lil Nas X is angry that he was not nominated for a BET award. Neither was I. Lil Nas X, he's saying that it's homophobic. That's what his contention is. He's saying that the BET award is homophobic. And that it has prevented him from being nominated. Zero nominations. Zero nominations for Lil Nas X. Who, in fairness to BET, which is homophobic, but in fairness to them, he is a horrible musician. So you have a very strange thing there where you have a horrible musician. He's a meme musician, right? He's not good. The whole point is that it's so bad, it's kind of good. It's like a joke.

And BET that probably doesn't like him because he goes really hard with the sexualized lyrics as he should be able to do as a gay guy. He should be able to say anything he wants, sell shoes with blood in them, you know, whatever he does. What does he do? Does he do like really wild? Yeah, he does. These things are spectacle. So he puts blood in a shoe, like in the doggy shoe. But I mean, with the sex stuff, isn't he like, I'll eat your ass. Yeah, yeah. He'll do music videos too, where like he's having sex with the devil and stuff like that. That's right. Bobby, did you have something?

That was a drop. Oh, is that just a drop? If you have something, play it. No, I was just going through his videos now. Oh, I had the wrong audio up. No, that's all right. Well, we feel bad for him because I think he should be able to fuck the devil and be rewarded. What kind of society do we live in?

Where you can make millions of dollars simulating sex with the devil, but are not rewarded for it by BET. Do you want to live in that society? Do you want to live in a society where your only reward for having sex with Satan is millions and millions and millions of dollars and fame and not a statue given to you by BET to confer legitimacy on whatever it is that you're doing. But we feel bad for Lil Nas X, but we feel worse for the people. I just remembered these sunglasses cost $70,000. I remember that now. These are $70,000 I had to pay for these.

Tell us about this economy because it is one of the worst we've ever seen and people are going to probably, I mean, I don't even know. I can't even speculate how bad it's going to get. So the Dow right now is... I mean, Doug Stanhope had that great bit strengthen up your shit pussy. Go Google that. But sex works not even going to cut it really in this account. Like, I don't know what you're going to be able to do. Selling your children to a human trafficker in the Philippines ain't going to do it.

Robbing elderly people of medication and reselling it on the dark web ain't going to do it. It's the type of economy where the most horrible things that you can think about, the links that you would push yourself, the things that you could never even imagine justifying. But on some level, you know that if you had to, eating a person, whatever it is, whatever your line is, going well over that line, just to survive, the things that you know that you might in some horror hell world end game apocalypse have to do, won't even cut it in this economy. It won't help. It won't help. The allowances that you make morally to steal, to cheat, to take advantage of others, to manipulate,

to engage in outright acts of violence, intimidation, betrayal against friends, against family, the lies that you will tell not only yourself but those close to you, the things that you in the dark recesses of your mind know that you could only do with your back against the wall and a gun to your mother's head will not suffice in this economy. They won't suffice. It's going to be a whole new game plan because everything that you're prepared to do, even things that you're not prepared to do, it's going to get so bad out there that it's, I mean, I can't even describe how bad it will get. In fact, I can't even begin to fathom every film about things that are bad cannot even get close to what they predict is coming.

Bread lines will be quaint, cute. You will wish you were on a bread line when this hits and it's going to hit. And this is, by the way, every YouTuber in the financial space. But when this hits, you will wish you were on a bread line. You will pray to God that you could just stand peacefully on a line without the threat of murder to get a nice loaf of warm bread. It will not happen. It will be a minute to minute scratch that second by second test of your wits and your ability to survive. And the only thing, the only thing that might help you in such a time is my newsletter, which you can subscribe to and we email you once a week.

It's annoying. Just my newsletter is the only thing that might help you out where we give you all the up to date information. No, but tell us how bad it's going to get because Bitcoin is now under $20,000. Bitcoin, the thing that was here to save us is now under $20,000. $18,900. $18,000. And you know what's coming next? The house.

The house is coming. Meaning people, you know, people think that they're safe with their money in a fucking house. Well, that's coming next, the housing collapse. But tell us Bitcoin is where? $18,900. $18,000. I'm looking at the graph. It hasn't been here since December 11, 2020.

That's right. Yeah. And then the Dow is basically right where it was at pre-pandemic. So it collapsed. It rose, rose, rose, rose, rose. And now it's back to where it was in January of 2020, right before everything with the show. Well, there were some ill-gotten gains. And, you know, I don't know what to tell everybody.

Unfortunately, there's a big correction. I'm driving the market into, pull up what Mike Novogratz said here about the economy and how they're going to combat inflation. They're going to drive the economy into a recession. It's a minute, 24-second clip. And I should have sent it to you last night, but I like seeing you struggle. I'm sitting at Bobby. This clip kind of explains what's going on.

The rate hikes, they're making you pay to borrow money now. They're making you pay for it. And when the interest rates go up, the party goes down. And Mike Novogratz is the CEO of something or other. You know these people. They're always the CEO of like, you know, you know, I don't know, Poseidon Capital, whatever it is. Mike Novogratz basically says, Jerome Powell at the Fed has decided to push the economy into a recession to combat inflation, which is probably the only way to do it.

That is what people are now kind of waking up to. That there's not going to be a soft landing. They were using the term soft landing where like you get to keep your house. They've decided that's not possible. You cannot have a soft landing. What you will have now is the hardest of landing, like hitting water from thousands of feet, a smack to the concrete. It will feel like you fell off your bike in front of all of your boys in sixth grade like I did.

And you will get rocks in your elbows like I did and permanent scars because your parents don't care about you and they don't take you to a plastic surgeon. It will feel like that wind getting knocked out of you, hitting the concrete in front of everyone you know, pain, but also embarrassment, shock, but also disgust with a little bit of disgrace. That is what they've decided. Do we have the clip up? It's nine minutes of vamping. That's the clip.

Great. Let's play this clip because I do believe this man is entirely correct. Soft landing is out. Brutal, vicious, like 9-11 guy who jumps out of the towers the way he landed. That's the way this economy is going to land. I feel like an idiot spending $80,000 on these sunglasses. And you want the one on a Bloomberg, right? That is correct.

I apologize. I just emailed it to you, Bobby. We should do a show where it's just at the hour of getting the clips where we just cut from getting the clip to the clip because between him and Bobby we could do a show of this and we have 60 minutes of the show of just finding the clips because that's the real fun. Thank you. We had a conversation about how this year could have been the year for DeFi. It was actually the top pick you had for this year.

Now, fast forward six months, how do you feel about that part of the industry at large? Not great. You know, like listen, you have to hold crypto in context what's gone on macro, right? And we talked about there were going to be headwinds this year because the Fed was going to have to withdraw liquidity. And so assets that went up based on cheap money forever. This is not the clip. But that's OK. The clip is the economy is going to fail very quickly.

Mike Novigratz. I can't wait till podcasting is over. It's going to be over in about six months because all of these people are going to live on the street, including him right next to me. They're all going to live on the street. Podcasting is quickly coming to an end. Imagine the money they've made. You think I've made money. I have talent.

Imagine the money that has been made by podcast producers over the last few years. If you knew what these people made, you would be enraged. Like Chris Rock had a great line. He said if Americans knew how rich rich people were, they would never stop riding. If you knew how much podcast producers made, you would go to their houses and kill their families. But Bobby, thank you. That was the correct clip. Six more months.

I just need to ask you a question that we're getting from a customer, actually a Bloomberg terminal customer who wants to know from you. Why would you use a 200 day moving average here after the Fed funds went up 25 basis points for 30 or 730 days before the rate hiking cycle started? So how do you kind of recalibrate here with the 75 basis point hike? How do you recalibrate given that we're in a new paradigm? Listen, I think what the Fed said really clearly was, and we've been talking about this for a while. When you have inflation as strong as we've had, you need to put the economy in a recession to stop inflation. And what Chairman Powell said yesterday very clearly is I will put the economy in a recession to stop inflation. Even though I have a dual mandate and I had talked cheeky about trying to get a soft landing.

Guys who have done this for a long time realize the soft landing isn't possible. And so the economy is going to go into a recession. It's going to go into a recession fast. You saw housing starts today, they collapsed. You're going to see the economy just screech to a halt. That's what the Fed needs to do to get inflation down. And so we're going to go through this awkward period where growth is going to be rolling over and inflation is still going to stay stubborn before it rolls. When the Fed sees it rolling and they signal the pause, then you'll see crypto take off.

You'll see other assets fall out. Okay, so that is what... Now, do you understand Ben what he means there? No, I don't understand finance or the economy. Ben, see, you're being wise. You're trying to be a wise guy. No, I really don't. You're trying to be a wise guy.

But the reality, I understand what he means. And what he's saying right now is that there's only one course of action that we have. And he's to take people like you and your family and make them feel pain to make them feel a lot of pain. That's what he means. What he means is that avert your eyes because people like you and people that grew up in places like you did are going to have to feel pain now. Not so much people like me, people that can pink their skin on the tropical beaches and be buttered like soft rolls with copper toned sunscreen. Not people like us, but people like you, dirt people, people that go from town to town like modern-day gypsies trying to find bags of wheat. You're going to have to feel it, the pain.

I mean, and is it right? I don't know. But it's happening. Steve will do it as a good friend of the show. You know Steve, Steve is a guy that is a member of the Nelk Boys sketch prank comedy group, but he's much more than that. He's a gambler. He's a drinker. He is a national figure.

He is someone who inspires people. He gives kids with cancer, Ethereum. He gives homeless people booze. He helps. He helps people. This is Steve will do it as a guy who will go and teach people how to gamble using a crypto and a VPN. He's a man that says life is to be lived to the fullest, even if it has to be from a small private island where there are no laws. Steve will do it.

Will do it. He will do it. No matter what it is. Yes. Is Steve eventually going to die in a high-profile automobile accident in Miami? To be sure. To be sure. Will he crash through the lobby of a hotel?

Yes. Will it be a helicopter accident? Sure. Will he maybe die in a third world country where he's living with a villa in multiple wives? Sort of like Apocalypse Now, you know, Colonel Kurtz style. You know, yes. Is the future of Steve will do its life sort of terrifying? Yes.

But very interesting. First of all, at this point, does a guy like that, what's left to do in America? Right. Right. Correct. So much like Joe Rogan, where Joe Rogan has gone to colonize Austin, Texas, the crown jewel. Steve will do it, I believe, will eventually flee this country and establish some third world thiefdom where he will lord over, like some type of savior, convincing the natives that he has powers ordained from God.

And it will be wild to watch. It will be amazing. Think of every cult documentary you've ever seen, plus Bitcoin. And we love Steve will do it and we want to plug his YouTube channel. Right? Yeah. Right? Isn't that what we're doing?

Steve will do it. And he also has a second channel you can follow where he gambles on there. And it's fun. And what's fun about him is you know that whatever he's going to have this wildlife and then whenever it ends, it's going to be so bad and amazingly, phenomenally bad what he'll end up doing. Like he may cause a war. It's going to be so visceral and crazy to watch. Um, but it up until that moment, it is going to be incredibly entertaining. It is going to be so entertaining.

Um, he gives AR 15s to lonely men out there that need them. He is the guy that America needs. He's the guy that America needs. He gave the milk met a card to the one you've all the cop who went in the rest of them, of course, we're busy. You know, what are you going to do? Housing is bad. It's brutal, vicious. Get up the housing numbers.

Housing starts are down. People are not applying for mortgages. Well over 40% of the mortgage market, like people in the market for loans has collapsed. House building has fallen to the lowest level in decades. Housing starts. People are not buying homes. People are terrified. Rates are up over 6%.

They cannot afford houses. So many of them cannot afford houses that the law, the Los Angeles homeless population, which is right now about 40,000 people. I imagine within two years will be three, four million people. And my attitude now about because Rick Caruso lost the guy who was saying, I want to get rid of homelessness. People said no. No, you don't. No, you don't. His campaign was let's put homeless people in affordable housing.

I'm not going to say the other thing satirically that I said last episode, which got me age-gated. Explain very quickly what happened. With Caruso? No, with the last episode. Oh yeah, so since it's age-gated. I tried to talk to YouTube about this. The last episode. I mean, it's like talking to a drunk.

Have you ever spoke to a drunk? So YouTube declared that the last episode is only available to someone with a YouTube account that is verified. They are 18 years or older. Now, I tried to appeal the majority of our fans are seven years old. That is who this show connects with the children. So I tried to appeal this. They knocked it down. Then we talked to YouTube.

We finally got through. We said this is satire. You don't actually want to boil homeless people in a pot. It's a historical show. They said we understand that it is comedy and it is satire, but it is still satire that is not appropriate for someone under the age of 18. Well, then nothing is. Well, then nothing's appropriate. So we lost.

We lost, yeah. Spotify, it's the time for you to get in the game with me now. You need to get in the game right now. The pussy is wet. Come to me and give me money and I will join you. Come to me now. Let's stop this pussy footing around. Stop telling me you're not interested.

Stop refusing to give me money. Stop saying we're going woke. The guy that made the Rogan deal, we pushed him out of the company and we hired some woman who's trying to do a project with the stars of friends. No one gives a shit what the stars of friends have to say about the fucking the world. Okay. Stop making celebrities do podcasts. I'm sure Jason Bateman is a swell guy. No one wants to know what he thinks about anything.

He's a brilliant actor and I love everything he does, but that's the only capacity that I want him. I do not care what his hot takes are. I think this era of celebrities doing podcasts will ruin it. I am uninterested in Jennifer Aniston's take on anything. Who in God's name wants to know what Courtney Cox has to say about Russia? Shut it down. Shut it down now. Stop with the nostalgia.

These shows were big 30 fucking years ago. I was nine years old when these shows were big. I'm 71 years old right now. Let it die. People that are good at podcasting are good at it precisely because there is no other option for them. So they get good at it or they die. What motivation does Jennifer Aniston have to be really, really entertaining on the mic? What's the motivation for Jason Bateman?

Can someone share that with me? When Jason Bateman gets in his Tesla or Jennifer Aniston gets in her chariot and they take her from whatever perch she's at and they drive her to a studio where she has to go and sit in front of a microphone. What is her motivation to make anything good? There isn't one. It doesn't exist. None of these people can ever share their real thoughts with you because that's the deal. The deal they made, which is a good deal, was to shut their mouth and every time they went to open it, oh, here comes the money. Money.

Keep your mouth shut and here's the money. And now we go, hey, how about just be you? Hey, you know how you spent 30 years becoming someone that isn't you? Because you doesn't exist. Because you wasn't interesting. Because you didn't matter. Because you was from a shithole dustball town, suburb of Illinois, wherever these people are from, no one cares about you. They care about Rachel and Ross and whatever the fuck you weren't along came Polly and they care about Ozark and they care about arrested development.

They don't care about you. So shut up and go back to work and leave our fucking thing alone. You're not going to be good at it. What the fuck are you going to say? What is Jennifer Aniston? Unless people like Jennifer Aniston really lose their, unless they really, for whatever reason, just start complaining about their maid for the first 30 minutes of the episode and go like, I don't know where she's from, Honduras or something, but I'll tell you right now, I don't trust her and I watch her. I have to watch her and I don't like that.

If it goes in that direction, it could be great. Like if Jennifer Aniston spends 30 minutes of the opening salvo of her show complaining about her maid that's faking long COVID. Like if Jennifer Aniston is like this bitch says she has long COVID, she's a liar. And she puts on like a wheeze and her breathing. She pretends to have labored breathing and Jennifer Aniston goes, it disgusts me and I wish I could call her out on it, but I can't. If that's the direction it goes, but you know, that's not what it's going to go. They're going to, and this is how they kill podcasting. How do they kill podcasting, Tim?

You're always so dramatic. I'll tell you how they do it. The plan is to kill it. The plan is to kill it. What they're going to do to kill podcasting is they're going to let vapid celebrities do it. And they're going to market it and advertise it in the same way that they kill everything else. You're going to get so sick of the idea of it that people that are good and anti whatever you want to call it are going to have to do something else. And I don't know what that other thing is.

It might be Twitch. It might be meeting people in the woods. I don't know where it goes, but what it's going to not be is it's not going to be hanging out with Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston, whoever else they put out here. Again, I have a lot of respect for their work. Get the fuck out of a cheap studio with drinking on a plastic cup. Our life is hell. Why do you want this? What are you going to see?

You have millions and millions of dollars. I got to sit and wait for him to get a clip up for nine minutes. Can I be on friends? Why do you want this life? Can you not? But they need to kill it. They need to kill it. And how they kill it is by flooding this space with celebrities with nothing to say.

Not only do they have nothing to say, they are contractually obligated to say nothing by existing. Their existence is the contract. The contract is they are unable to say anything. They will be handed talking points at the beginning of every the Ukraine is a powerful. I believe that the trends, the blacks are being killed like that's all they're going to do. They're going to be handed a script every single day and they're going to read the script. I don't have a script. I don't have ads of companies that are not going to exist in three months.

Because I'm a podcaster. Leave us alone. I have $90,000 sunglasses because the Mossad had to kill Princess Diana because she couldn't mix royal blood with Arab blood. Google it, look into it. Are you going to talk about that, Jen? Is Jennifer Addison going to talk about the Mossad hit against Princess Diana for mixing royal and Muslim blood? If that is the case, I am wrong. Egg on my face. Boy, do I want to have egg on my face is Jason Bateman.

He's so goddamn quiet. Isn't his whole thing. He's like quietly intense. Sure. There's nothing left to do. Stop it. You all have enough money. Piglets.

What are we going to do? Jack Nicholson is going to have a podcast. How bad does it get? We're going to take every icon and legend and we're going to make them die podcasting. That's how sick this business is. But where was I before this? Housing starts because I got lost there. Housing, what's going on with the housing?

What is happening with people's homes? So right now mortgage rates, this is an article from June 16. What's going on? Mortgage rates in the U.S. jump by most in 35 years. Fuck. Weren't you and your wife going to buy a house? We were thinking about it. Well, now you don't.

Yeah, I don't know where. Well, now you're fucked. Maybe not. Why not? Well, I'm going to wait until we have a conversation with someone later. Maybe she'll tell me I'm fucked up. She's not going to tell you shit. She's going to tell you to go scratch.

Wait until she sees your income. She's going to come in here and do your job. She's going to go, he gets paid what for what? You know what Jason Bateman and Jennifer Anderson are going to pay their producers? Nothing. Nothing. They will pay them nothing. It will be a terrified person at fucking whatever.

Yeah. IR radio that comes in and goes. And they will run away and they'll press a button because they'll be terrified. Of course, that's not the case here. I am constantly attacked and belittled. I live in fear of these people. I live in fear of the system. Not Jennifer Aniston.

Now, you were going to buy a house, but I'll tell you right now, you missed your window. You had a window and you missed it. And I told you to act and you didn't act. You told me on the phone a month ago, you said you might try to get something before all the... But now it's over. Is it over now? You'll never own. Yeah.

For the rest of your life. You will rent, you will rent, which is what BlackRock wants you to do. Rent. And you will fucking lease and you will rent. And when your children say, Daddy, what do we own? You'll say we own shit. We own nothing. We don't own fucking the socks you're wearing.

We own nothing. We've leased it all. You'll grab the food out of his mouth and give it to his sister and go, you don't even own that. That's what's going to happen because you didn't heed my warning and work harder. How do you work harder to show what it made more money? The show makes... And by the way, because of the economy so bad, we are doing a special deal on Patreon right now, $5 a month. If you want extra episodes of the show, $5 a month, 99 cents an episode, you can get into the show.

But this is what I mean about the housing here. It's a real problem. It climbed from 5.23% last week to 5.78% this week. The highest it's been since November of 2008 during the housing crisis. People are priced out of the market. They're terrified. Their retirement accounts have been drained. If they had money in the market, it's fucked.

It's a recession. I mean, technically a recession is two quarters of negative growth. But what you're seeing right now is you're seeing a total perfect storm of economic conditions. If you were thinking about buying a housing, people like you and your wife were thinking about it. And now you're seeing everything happen. Yeah, because I don't know if the house is going to be worth half in three months. Well, also, you don't know how much that house costs you now, versus it might cost you a lot less in a couple of years.

If rates can stabilize and then fall, if we get out of this period, it might make a lot of sense to wait. I mean, I don't think you should. Here's the deal. And I've told you this and I'll tell you this. And I'm going to tell you this right now. A tent ain't bad. No, I'm telling you this right now. In a safe area, a tent ain't bad.

You don't have kids yet. You and your wife with a nice tent ain't bad. In a nice safe area, you have a gym membership, you shower at the gym. I'm telling you right now, the money you're wasting living in a house that you rent is money that you can spend down the road. Get a tent. Go to a place where other homeless people are and set it up and join the community of the unhoused. I'm telling you right now, join the community. Because, by the way, I don't even look at it as a negative anymore.

People go, oh, LA's got all the homeless people. Yeah, exactly. I think it's a pot. I show people skid row. When you come to LA, I show you skid row. I go, look at it. Here it is. I go, we've got the most homeless people in the world.

And then people are kind of taken back and they're like, oh, that's horrible. You go, why? Why is it horrible? Are you so good because you own a house? Throw it back on them. Get into a fight with them. Go, what's so good about you that you own a house? I'm proud of skid row.

I'm proud that we have 40,000 homeless people. I want more. I am proud that we have the largest unhoused community in America. You will not shame me. You will not cause me to reevaluate my love of the city of Los Angeles. It is all perspective. And I say, fuck it. Good.

Make skid row stop on the Hollywood tour. That's all done, done. See it. There it is. It is. And by the way, you can say it nicely. It can feel nice if you go and to your left and to the right. You are seeing the largest unhoused community in the United States of America.

And if you say it like that, people get the idea that it's actually not a bad thing. It's actually not a big deal. And throw it back on the people that judge it. Go, oh, are you so good because you own a house? Who cares? It's not a big deal. They're on unhoused community. Some people have houses, some people don't.

This is what we have to start accepting. I think we have to start accepting it. I do. I don't believe that. I don't believe we should go nuts about, oh, there's children that are living on the streets. You know what? You know what? Children are on the streets anyway.

They love playing. You know, when I was young, I loved leaving my house and playing with my friends on the street. We're on the street. I never wanted to come in. The saddest part of my day was when my mother and father said, come in here. You got to go to sleep. Leave them out there. Children enjoy being on the street and they're resilient.

They're resilient and they enjoy being on the street. It's not a big deal. It is unzipped to 10. Oh, look, who's playing soccer? Not a big deal. It's fun. It's a fun life. And I'm looking at it like that because I'm sick of how people have destroyed and disgraced me.

What's going on with the economy? Is it still fucked? I have $85,000 sunglasses on right now. As bad as the economy is doing right now, people are still there. Well, they have jobs. The one indicator, people have jobs. People can shovel shit right now. They have jobs.

They can clean out the machine and they can clean the hair out of the frozen yogurt machine. That's one thing that we've got in this country. We still got jobs. You can sweep the vomit off the floor. You can clean the fingernails out of the crepe maker. We still got jobs. Fear not. Fear not.

If there's hemoglobin on a waffle, throw it out, make a new one. There are jobs. If there's pus stuck in the fucking espresso machine, clean out the pus and then make the Americano, there are jobs. Of course, the amount of money that you're paid for those jobs hasn't really gone up. The problem with housing is housing should have gone up with wage growth, but it hasn't. Wage growth has gone up at the very high end for a few people, podcasters, human traffickers and people in tech. But for most people, it hasn't. So these housing prices are out of whack.

Now, you're going to see them come down to reality. But thankfully, there are still jobs. Now, go to Help Wanted, New York City. Go to Help Wanted and tell them what they can do. In fact, go in Austin, Texas because New York's over. Help Wanted, Austin, Texas. Show them what they can do if they want to get a job in Austin, Texas. What if they are all jobs at Joe Rogan's comedy club?

That is not, doesn't exist yet. It's just 300 jobs. Okay, I found one. Yes. Delivery specialist. Beautiful. At a company called Fetch. Fuck yeah.

Tell them about it. We're not even getting paid to do this first, folks. As a delivery partner, you will be responsible for picking up packages from Fetch facilities and delivering them to apartment communities during your chosen delivery time block. See, what's good about this job is you can choose when to do it and when to lay on your couch and wish for death. That's what's nice about this job. You have the freedom to do it.

But you also have the freedom to, there's a window you can do it and there's another window when you can lay on your floor and pray that you don't wake up. What is the compensation at Fetch? Oh, let's see here. So that is, let me click on that. Usually they say it right next to it. This one doesn't. It does not.

This one is $19 an hour. Beautiful. Too much. What else? We have here, we have a dishwasher. Okay. Nothing wrong with that. Add curry up now.

Too much curry smell. Yeah. $14 an hour. Not great. You smell curry all day. You'll smell that curry. It's fucked up. This one says full-time floater in parentheses, caregiver.

I like this one. Okay. So full-time position for experienced caregiver slash CNA. This is a full-time floater position consisting of providing care to clients, training caregivers, and assisting with office tasks as needed. Let's see what they're paying. That one's probably pretty somewhat decent, right? Right.

You have to inquire. Okay. Well, it's not really the best ad. Honey baked ham company production associate. Fuck yeah. So this position. Let me tell you right now. We have one of these in Long Island.

No cigarettes, 13 days. They have one of these honey baked ham companies in Long Island. What's good about this is they do the spiral ham with honey. They have the sides like cinnamon apples, mac and cheese, baked beans, mashed potatoes, and all the things. Go on. So this position is actually for the production of honey baked hams and turkey breast. Training is involved in all positions.

We hand glaze each ham and turkey breast with one of a kind glazing techniques. A crew of 12 will glaze and wrap product for retail sales. We take pride in sanitation and the ability to effectively manage our time. So here's your responsibilities at Honey Baked Ham. You have to prep duties such as washing and chopping vegetables or cutting meat. Yes. You have to maintain a clean and orderly kitchen, and you have to measure ingredients and seasonings. Ooh.

Listen, folks, the jobs are out there. The jobs are out there. Here's one from Austin. Caring for local podcast billionaire. You will serve as a caretaker to a local famous podcast billionaire. Your tasks include reminding him that certain things he sees online are not real. Also reminding him that he said he was opening a comedy club. So you have to causing many people to move there who hate it and do nothing now.

So, I mean, could these mics? I mean, no, get in your seat. Got three minutes left. He fixes it now. Such an interesting life that we live here and so grateful to the people that make it possible, the fans, the listeners, the companies, the Asians for running everything. I have $100,000 sunglasses on right now because I don't live in fear. There's not much to do at the end here, really, other than just wish everyone well.

I mean, the economy is going to be so incredibly vicious. It is going to kill you and everyone you know. Your families will be on the street. They'll be selling their fucking pussies and assholes and dicks. They'll be doing everything they can. There's nothing you'll be plagued by famine, by disease. There will be cats in the street, civil unrest, violence, authorities, institutions will lose all credibility very quickly. Authority will fall.

There will be ragtag group of militias that will be guarding and distributing resources. There will be regional fiefdoms run by psychopathic charismatic cult leaders. People are going to feel vulnerable for the first time in a very long time. There is going to be climate catastrophes and disasters compounding a breakdown of the civil order. There is going to be probably a freeze or shutdown of local and federal government services. There will be nowhere to run. You are not going to be able to utilize public transportation, planes, trains. Your automobiles will be set on fire by bands of angry children looking for food.

You are going to be scavenging, trying to make the most out of what you've got. You'll be eating out of garbage. You'll be living in tents if you're lucky. You'll be walking 10, 11 miles a day from state to state like a post-apocalyptic film. You will choose friends based on who you perceive that you can trust at any given time. This is going to change. You'll wake up in the middle of the night and they will be rifling through the food that you have decided it was going to last you guys a week. They're going to be stealing water.

You're going to have to execute some of them in front of your own children. You're going to have to keep them in, you have to enforce a certain level of fucking authority. You're going to have to make people scared and you're going to have to punish, execute, beat. It's going to be tough. You will not be able to access any medical care during this time. You're going to be, you're going to have to get good at minor surgeries, performing them on yourself and your children and other members of your group. You're going to have to perform stitches, stitching your skin together when a feral, rabid animal has taken your arm and turned it into its chew toy. You may have rabies, you may not.

You're going to have to get pretty good at securing medication and drugs and administering them with your group of people. You know, whoever you're traveling around this country, this disaster prone war zone with trying to acquire resources, you're going to have to be able to administer all types of drugs, medications, novocaine. You're going to have to do minor surgeries. You're going to have to get and store food. You're going to have to understand refrigeration without a refrigerator, spicing food appropriately, how long things can stay. You're going to be able to, you're going to make your own jerky. You're going to dry meat in the sun. You're going to have to learn to fish, to grow, to live off the grid.

You're going to have to become familiar with agriculture, farming, storm patterns, irrigation, water. You're going to have to do all of that. And while you're doing that, you can listen to Jennifer Aniston or Jason Bateman. So at least you'll still have entertainment during this period of darkness. It will be like the Noah's Ark flood. Not everyone will survive. There will be small groups of people that through their own ingenuity and propensity for cruelty will be able to get ahead of other groups. And I don't know which group you'll be in and I pray for you.

But just know that while you were out there struggling, you will be able to listen to Courtney Cox. Talk about fun things that happened on the set of Friends, a show that was on in the 1920s. When actors could afford to live in New York City and nobody had AIDS and they met one black person. Just know that the American entertainment system will never fail you. Because even though you are going to be out there trying to figure out how to set up a legitimate government once ours has fallen. When you are trying to get some of the loose nuclear weapons that have already been stolen out of the Cheyenne Mountain Base and many of our underground military bases. When you and your crew is trying to acquire weaponry and food, you will be able to listen to Jason Bateman tell you how Ozark got made. Because that's what this medium has always been about.

Rich celebrity millionaires telling you how cool shit happened while you lay on your couch and pray for death. And that's the great tradition of broadcasting. It has always been for rich people who are bored, who did a cool thing once and want you to know all about it while you sit in traffic and shove another French fry down your throat. But these my friends are the good times so enjoy them while you can. It is going to get a hell of a lot worse. Not for me and not for anyone I know. Joe Rogan will protect us. He will take us up on his spaceship with Elon Musk where we will do stand up comedy in a zero gravity environment for no one.

The rest of you I believe will inherit Earth and fight over resources until you are exhausted or murdered by a rival tribe. I will be in the sky with Elon Musk and Joe Rogan until I kill myself, which will be about three hours into that experiment. When I decide that I would rather be having be getting disemboweled by wild dogs than beyond that ship. Tim Dillon comedy dot com there are no live dates there's no tour fuck off and go away. A book's coming I haven't written. I haven't written the book but it's coming you'll buy it. I hope to get it out before the fucking war but I don't think I will. But I'm trying.

You can follow Ben Avery but who gives a shit for what a picture of a duck. What's he adding to this? Go to our patreon if you want extra episodes and to support the show please support our sponsors like dick pill and cigarette. You can't have a cigarette so take this. Have you lost your hair. Hopefully soon we'll get legal services you want to see a kid again. Press two. But please support all of our sponsors.

Please. It's important for us that you support the companies that support us. Many of these companies. They're not going to see the other end of this. You know. But that's okay. Are you nervous about what's coming or are you going to face it head on. No I'm pretty nervous.

You should be. You should be as nervous as any human being out there. You should be nervous. Because the podcast producers are going to be the ones when we tell everybody the money you've made. They're going to go to your houses with pitchforks and they're going to drag you out and they're going to rape you. They're going to rape you to death. And they should. By the way I will be a guest on the Aniston or Bateman's podcast and completely like just be like hey it was great thank you so much.

Thank you so much for having me. It's kind of an honor to be here. So if that happens just fuck you. Because that's what this game is. And I don't need your shit. I will dance my ass right into that studio tomorrow to sit down with those legends. What do you think I want to be here with you. Good luck everyone.

You're going to die. And it's going to be in vain.