The Tim Dillon Show - 304 - What America Means To Me

Episode Date: June 26, 2022

Tim Dillon explains to his audience what it means to live in America the beautiful, has two reactions to the shocking overturning of Roe v Wade, discusses tired workers falling into a vat of chocolate, Kyle Rittenhouse's new video game, the fireworks shortage in Arizona, and tries to find some good news for this 4th of July Season. Bonus episodes every week: ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: HELIX BED ▶▶ https://www.helixsleep.com/timd for 200 dollars off Mattress orders and two free pillows WATCHES ▶▶ for 20% off go to https://www.vincerocollective.com/timdillon 🔒 VPN: Get three months free ▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon 📦 BOX OF AWESOME ▶▶ http://boxofawesome.com use code TIMDILLON at checkout for 20% off CRYPTO ▶▶ http://exodus.com/tim to start free. Over 4 million people trust Exodus to manage their crypto. Join the movement away from traditional finance by downloading Exodus. ONNIT ▶▶ Go to http://onnit.com/tim for 10% off EVERY MAN JACK ▶▶ https://www.everymanjack.com to get 20% off your first purchase use code DILLON 🎧 HEADPHONES: For 15% off! ▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim 👨‍🦱 HAIR LOSS: ▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon 💆THERAPY ▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMD BIRD DOGS! ▶▶ https://www.birddogs.com/ use code TIMDILLON ATHLETIC GREENS ▶▶ https://athleticgreens.com/timdillon MASTERWORKS ▶▶ https://masterworks.art/tim SIMPLI SAFE ▶▶ https://simplisafe.com/timdillon to save 20% MUD\WTR ▶▶ https://mudwtr.com/tim use code TIM for $5 off STARTMAIL: start securing email privacy! ▶▶ https://startmail.com/timd for 50% off your first year! Watch SteveWillDoIt's Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC55JghDUfUatuLc1wp4uGoA ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ 🐦 Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon 🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows 📹 Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4woSp8ITBoYDmjkukhEhxg Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds  ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▶▶ Ed McMahon [e-mail] https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ #TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, happy 4th of July. Welcome to the Tim Dillon show. It is summer. I am here in my final form sitting next to the luckiest person in show business Benjamin Avery My best 4th of July memory was when an uncle of mine. We had a great 4th of July party at My uncle's house every single year and one of his brothers Was offended because I think somebody called his wife a name. I think they said she's a Jew Now this is what happened. It's a Irish family of drunks and he tried he was gonna drive home drunk But what they did was they like took the air out of his tires. They went out

they did a whole thing and They were like hitting his car as tire like it was crazy and me and a friend Just kind of watched this from behind a bush and we watched my family take the air out of this guy's tire So he literally could not drive home because there was a big fight about his wife They're since divorced Fun 4th of July memory because it's independence day. It's freedom. It's it's important that people go out there They put some meat on the grill and they take they just you know again take stock of where they are and what they have and

It's the summer is in full swing and people are happy out there and You know, I mean, it's it's we're back. We're back baby America's back and Nothing is gonna keep us down not the crime or the gas prices the unemployment the lack of money The family structure that's rapidly dissolving You know the rise of militias Nothing will keep us down. I mean, we're back in business in a serious way. Isn't that the way you feel? Oh, yeah, we're back. It's gonna be a great summer. What's going on out there that's making it great Well, there's actually things that are not making it great. Well, wait, what what I?

Was just sort of agreeing with you, but actually I don't really have any information to support that claim Lot of 4th of July is being canceled due to labor shortages. Why wait a minute Hold the phone How can you cancel the 4th of July? What would that even look like? Well, it would so some cities like in Arizona are replacing it with They're replacing it with since their supply chain issues. They can't get any can't get any fireworks, right? And the whole state so what they're gonna do is a pyrotechnic show

Okay, that as a replacement Okay, so some cities are new, you know, they don't want to not do anything on the 4th They're still gonna have a show with big flames shooting out of pipes. I guess Well, they can't get fireworks. Yeah, it's supply chain issues. They're unable to secure Fireworks for a fireworks show. So they're gonna do what are they gonna do like a drag show? They should that'll make everyone nice and happy It'll piss every you know, I went to a drag brunch show the day of pride brunch You know, I'm a I was I've always been a fan of drag weeks

Mostly when they were like politically incorrect very acerbic nasty funny But now it's a lot, you know, you're eating breakfast there and you have the drag queens like yeah, it's bad like in your Face and you're just trying to eat French toast and it's just gotten very aggressive You know what I mean? There's like a boot in your face and they're like lick the bird You know and you're like, okay, you're like, I'm this is enjoyable and I'm there with a guy that we just fucked It's not I'm not like coming from a Christian coalition meeting. I'm sitting there with another faggot and it's still a lot You know the drag brunch where they're like, ah, it's like a whole

Thing and then you know, it's Some of it is camp and fun and some of it is you know, I wish you had real talent Because some of the drag queens are like wouldn't it be funny if I was a singer or a dancer. Yeah, it would also be entertaining do that Um now So now these places in where where are these played they're gonna they're not letting people go to the fourth of They're not letting people go to the fourth of July. Yeah, most of Arizona seems to be kind of hosed this year Arizona is a real dump. I mean, it's a real it's just a bunch of lot lizards Living in the dirt and they deserve what they get. Oh, yeah

But it's shocking to me that that's a state that I feel like would spend 11 months out of the year Securing fireworks like what the fuck else are they doing playing golf? By the way, I look like the mayor of the governor of Arizona right now like this outfit I look like the mayor the governor the poet laureate of Arizona But I'll tell you this right now. Are there are there any fun? like Substitution for the fire. Well, I mean, what are they gonna do? So like I'm reading here and lieu of fireworks and this is tempe tempe and lieu of fireworks

The city will host red white and flume red white and flume F.L.O.O.A. What's that? It's a fire show scheduled to begin at 8 30. There will be 12 floating Flower-shaped flumes on tempe town link and they shoot flames up to 30 feet in the air And it's a five-minute pyrotechnic show people are not gonna like this This is gonna bomb Flower-shaped flumes shooting flames They are not gonna like this they want their fireworks. Why don't they just show up with a bunch of ar-15s and shoot at the sky So at least they have something that's audible they can hear

They are not gonna like this flume Oh man, they are not gonna like this flume These people in tempe, arizona want one thing loud Gun-like fireworks to enjoy for the 4th of july They want loud bang You know, I don't love fireworks. I've said before they're kind of pedestrian, but

You know for the 4th of july you do it you do it once a year and you enjoy it and you move on But the idea that they're gonna replace it with this uh flume He's not gonna what are there any other cities? Uh the city of chandler They're gonna again in arizona. Yeah, it's the hell's going on. I don't know they well this guy. What is chandler doing? They don't have any fucking money What the hell's the fireworks show being replaced with in chandler arizona?

Uh, well, so there's a pyro planning specialist named kinden victor. Oh god, and um, he said it's an industry-wide nationwide issue Oh, and uh, so he's in charge of all the pyro techniques. Can't what's his name? uh kinden victor kenden victor He's a pyrotechnics expert. Yes. Okay, so he's going to be overseeing the um the replacement shows here But he's saying we're using the wrong terms here. It's not a far work shortage It's just an issue with supply chain. So I know that whatever from china. It's what he said. Yeah, okay

I know but what's what's the difference? Yeah, that's what he's just trying to correct people on that but all of uh, Arizona's kind of hosed here With it. So but I think kenden victor is is feeling good with the two-star news here that uh, he's gonna kind of come through and Uh power through he said we continue to receive phone calls from other states Other cities requesting to see if we could provide for their fourth of july But we provide exclusively for the state of arizona. So he's going to try to figure it out for the state Well, I hope because this is such a big national uh celebration that I hope that it is not dampened by the uh, No fireworks. I hope people can still get hurt

I hope people can still go out and get really intoxicated and look at bright colors in the sky And it hopefully will alleviate Some of the pain because we've had some pain. I forgot to include that also the pyrotechnic show It's choreographed to patriotic and pop music. It says on the city's event listing rates I hope it's so gay That everyone is so uncomfortable with it. I hope it's so over the top like lady gaga gay I hope that like it's just all gay colors And it's so uncomfortable for the residents of tampi that there's like a riot

I hope they start taking their guns out. I I believe by the way, no matter what happens They're gonna start shooting the flames with the guns because they're gonna be so upset By this because all they want is a Old school fireworks show like they grew up with You know And they're it's going to be replaced by some like Cirque du Soleil Freak show

And the people that live by like these man-made lakes in arizona These tarantulas that come out for this event Are going to be so disappointed by this pyrotechnics show And i'm um

I'm sad about it. I'm truly sad about it for the july is a is a It's a it's an interesting holiday because it's something that you spend around your family a lot of times not always But it's a family event where you go And you spend it with people in your family or community Like long island They do a thing the grouchy brothers in new york city and long island do a fireworks spectacular Like it's a big deal you have the the burgers the hot dogs you have your flag cake your american flag cake And you just feel good you feel proud of our country for one night

And it's good you you celebrate You know just being an american whatever that means The the backyard pool the fucking booze The food the fucking cable news loudly chirping in the background The air conditioning the consumption of energy The big suvs dad getting home Mom working hard in the kitchen dad on the grill mom icing a cake

Your brother doing fentanyl whatever It means to be an american Fourth of july is it it is the most american thing i could think of can you think of it any more american holiday? Then the fourth of july with the barbecue Outside the pool the fireworks now because it's our independence Yeah, but Stylistically it just is the most american thing you can do

It's the most american thing you can do and i'm trying to remember if i've ever had like epic fourth of july's they've always been fine You know yeah fine. They've always been fine They've never been great But they've always been something to do Where you'd go out and you go we have something to do tonight And you would stand there And it would happen and it was never great

They were never great Whatever feelings you're supposed to feel I don't know. I don't remember maybe when I was younger Or even in my high school or early college. I don't remember what I did For the fourth of july. Do you remember any fourth of july? Yeah, I remember stood out in your memory one I remember being on a boat somewhere on a lake in texas. Oh, oh, okay because everybody goes out on the boat Yeah night and then people shoot off fireworks from their boats right into the sky right

And I think I saw fireworks at disney once that was way cooler You were at disney not on the fourth not on the fourth But they do the the fireworks thing every night. When did you go to disney? I was 12 The disney world. Yeah disney the one in uh outside wonder they had the money to take you there and we landed Well, we drove across we couldn't fly right drove across in the in the van Did you stay at a hotel in the on the property? No, no, we stayed with my uncle right now

I just want to get to the bottom of that I'll get to the bottom of that go into disney world. What? Um, so what else is going on that might be I want to find things that make people happy goddamn it It's the 4th of july. It's actually july 7th. Well, there's gonna there might be a local beer shortage in pennsylvania too Everybody's striking. It's just shortages. Yeah Uh, I'm trying to think of some good news. I want something that people can Glam on to here and go. Thank god something good's happening. It's the 4th of july Can there is there's got to be one positive news story

Did a cripple walk again or something? I gotta I got a thing on a kid. Uh, yeah has a lemonade stand in detroit No, yes, this is what we need. What's going on with it? Did he get shot? I hope he didn't get shot. I'll throw you right out of here. It's a sweet news story. There's a boy in detroit Great city who has a lemonade stand. Yes And the lemonade he sells it and all these bikers come and all these people come What do you mean bikers like bikers come by? You know, bikers are like people on bicycles Well, you know those guys defend kids and stuff and they like kill pedophiles and stuff like that I don't know that. Well, no one knows what you're talking about. Well bikers notoriously. They love kids

And they always defend kids. Isn't that a little weird in and of itself? It is odd. I it's a little sassy going to the lemonade stand whatever. I'm glad they're defending kids But my point is this what? We didn't have to veer off into this weird territory with this story. There's a there's a child Selling lemonade in detroit. Yes, and what is happening? He is raising money Yes to donate to the local animal shelter because right now There's a lot of dogs and in need of homes and with the heat now. Let's just cut the end of the story How about this he's got a lemonade stand and it's nice

Not he's raising money For local pit bulls who've been made to fight each other that are now bleeding out in his shelter Is there a way that we can turn it around so that we could just focus on a lovely little capitalist child? Making lemonade in the hopes that one day he will dethrone dole And he can have the cia go down to latin america And prop up government so that his company can function appropriately I mean, is there we could just tell it without that. We don't need to Right. Is there anything else positive happening something good or even if we have to put a positive spin on something negative

Uh, uh, oh, uh, there's some workers at the mars wriggly plant in pennsylvania They fell into a vat of chocolate and this is fun Because many of them are exhausted From the hours and hours of work that they do for low pay And they and they they're unable to take breaks and eat And so they become slightly they get uh, you know head rush, right? They're a little light on their feet, right? What do you call that? Why am I blanking when your vision you lose your head? They're lightheaded. They're lightheaded. They have low blood sugar. They're lightheaded

Ironically, this is a fun one one of them falls into a pot of chocolate But it's not like willy wonka where that's fun. He actually had to go to the hospital Right. They're in the hospital. They had to be rescued. They had to cut a hole. Bobby. Can you pull up the article? Just so i'm not wrong. Bobby There it is Bobby Hey, are they falling together these guys? What were they doing sucking each other off? So these two worthless pieces of shit

Are making mars bars where? Right outside hershey 15 miles outside hershey and american chocolate tastes like fucking uh, soap Now So there it's horrible american chocolate is disgusting. Everyone knows it What candy were they working on? Uh, so it's the mars wriggly plant So I guess it's just the general chocolate they use for all their chocolates, right and a big and what what happened to these two idiots Where they fell in a vat of chocolate how embarrassing so the of course the company's not releasing it right two people that work for an outside

Contracting firm said it's not clear. They fell in the tank But emergencies responders were able to free the pair by cutting a hole in the bottom of the tank and and getting them out That's that's how these people were rescued. Uh, it wasn't clear if they're injured or not They're not telling us that but they were taken to the hospital to be and by the way If you think that chocolate that those two dirt begs swim around in is not finding its way to your shelves. You are wrong You are mistaken Because that chocolate is going right out and it's hitting the production line those two fucking slobs

I mean, how embarrassing is that? They fell into the vat of chocolate like the joker And they got a cut a hole in a vat of chocolate So that's the good news. That's the good news. These are the good stories Two overworked lightheaded workers fell into a vat of chocolate before they had to be removed via a hole That was cut into the vat of chocolate And now and they went to the hospital. Is there any update on their condition? No, I tried to find out is there. Is there nothing else positive going on? Oh, uh, Kyle Rittenhouse released a new video game

Okay We're getting warmer America Oh Can you see Now Kyle Rittenhouse if you don't know is the young man who went to uh, Kenosha, Wisconsin to uh Guard the things that are there

And he got in well, that's his claim right? He was guarding the things Whatever needs guarding And he got into it. He shot a couple of people The media kind of sandbag him. It did seem to be self-defense Though it's not a great idea to show up with an ar-50, but people will get mad at me No But whatever I get it I get if I had a child I'd be like, hey, don't go with the gun and

Because that's the job of police now with the police doing it. No, that doesn't mean you do it It means you try to get them to do their fucking jobs Um, or you just get rid of them and say these fucking green haired fucking constant Portland are right anyway Kyle Rittenhouse has released a video game now. Is it a shooter game? It is it is. Yeah, it is Kyle Rittenhouse has now released a video game where he You're shooting people you play as Kyle and you're you're not shooting people It's called turkey shoot and you're shooting fake news turkeys. They're just short trailer bobby if you want to pull it up

Bobby get up the new Kyle Ritten. We're trying to find oh my Jesus christ These are the fake news turkeys supposedly these are the fake news turkeys and Kyle Rittenhouse is now shooting the fake news turkeys So that's kind of his promotion on can we go back with the british? Like can we admit this has been a mistake Like this has been sort of You know Can we just kind of fold back in quietly?

Can we quietly go back in oh the game aids kyle's legal defense against the fake news Interesting. I didn't know that so if you download the game, it's 999 If you download the Kyle Rittenhouse's turkey shoot. Yeah on writtenhouse game.com. Let's not do ads for it The game is please will aid kyle's legal defense against fake news It helps raise funds to sue the left-wing media Well, can you sue them? How much money does it cost to sue just sue them? You tell me a lawyer won't take that case pro bono. Oh, you're probably right. What are we talking about right slush fund Right some type of slush fund. I mean a lawyer's not going to take that case pro bono. What are you talking about?

Yeah, you're right. Come on stop. Let's not be The Kyle Rittenhouse fake news turkey shoot video game Happy fourth of july. What'd you get the kids? I got him the new kyle written house turkey shoot game Come on in kids shoot the fake news turkeys Thank you dad Don't shoot your classmates shoot people you disagree with politically um

Is there anything positive? Is there because it's the fourth of july We're trying to figure out Fun upbeat stories that we as americans can all come together and go. Jesus christ. Do we feel good? People are really happy about this. What are they happy? There's now casting open for a real life squid games Yes, well, this is what we mean the squid games Which was a a a netflix series about a dystopian society Where people without money who are in debt

would Be in this game Where they would be killed or win a lot of money Now in america, we're actually going to do it But instead of killing the people We will release them back into poverty. Tell us more about this. It's such a good idea So netflix i like the idea of this because it says hey, it's not that cruel We're not killing them

But everything else about it Is the same That's what's good about this they go. We're not killing them But every other thing about squid game. It's literally the same Yeah, they're inviting contestants compete for 4.56 Million dollars in prizes by completing the nightmare games featured in a cautionary tale about wealth disparity So, uh, the fans of this was a hit show the fans are excited. It was big

They want to be in the show that they want to be in the squid games So there'll be 456 players who will enter the game in a pursuit of life changing reward of 4.56 million dollars According to a press release as they compete through a series of games inspired by the original show Plus surprising new additions their strategies alliances and character will be put to test while competitors are eliminated around them And this will also be a reality show obviously and It's a good idea. I get kyle rittenhouse in this Get kyle rittenhouse in the squid game

This is not a bad idea at all. My mind is starting to turn here I'm starting to Understand the direction we must go Is there is there nothing else is that it? Uh, well, is that all we have of the news? It's that's good No, no, I mean, I mean the supreme court expands gun rights. Well, what about this roe v. Wade now? Oh, uh roe v. Wade roe v. Wade. Have you heard of this? Apparently there are women killing their babies

Now i'm kidding of course. I am pro choice kill them all kill the moms Great line in the bird cage when nathan lane goes I say kill the mother and I know what you're saying. Well, the baby will die also But he's going to die anyway. Let it go down with the ship Um Roe v. Wade now here's the deal They're pre-record. We're pre-recording this episode. So I want everybody to know That this roe v. Wade thing is is coming out in a few days

So i'm going to do two reactions to this just pick the one that happened Okay Oh my god, they overturn roe v. Wade That's fucked up women and poor people and fuck Roe v. Wade was not overturned interesting many thought it would have been Those are the two reactions depending on which way this news goes Fill in which I'm unaffected by roe v. Wade I think within a certain window you can have the abortion

But afterwards it gets a little creepy when it starts to look like a little puppy in there I don't want you to just fillet it and take its head off Now again, I'm unaffected by it because I find women to be repulsive but That not all of them. I'm kidding. Many of them that pay me. I think are great and there's a few of them that I enjoy Condoleezza rise. She's a real uh fun one now This roe v. Wade thing that either was overturned or it wasn't

What is this? We're trying to have a nice time. It's the 4th of July Whitney Cummings is staying at my house and told her it smells like paint. She said she prefers it Now What so now can you get any information? Yeah, so I mean it's it's up in the air right now But it would be a judicial earthquake but it's been it's been decided already You got to remember that's been decided. So my I'm asking you What is your opinion on the decision?

My opinion on the decision is I think it's messed up that it got overturned and that it's going to go to the states You think it is going to be overturned? Yeah, and I think you know, you're gonna have to choose I'm going to do one for both where you don't know which it is ready. Okay This is an inherently complex issue and there are very A heartfelt Strongly held opinions on either side That's true. Thank you Now that will work no matter what happens. Yeah, because I don't know what's gonna happen. It's gonna happen soon. They say

By the time this comes out Roe v. Wade will either be the law of the land or it will be overturned What an odd week to pre-record Now What makes this interesting is I don't care Now I do care a little Because I think women should be able to get abortions like in the beginning Ish like in the beginning up until a certain point Then it gets a little uncomfortable, but late term if like

If if it's gonna be a baby that's born without like Like if it's gonna be like a baby that's born like Where it doesn't have like all the hearts on the outside of the body or it can't live You know or it's like a gypsy. There is I understand that's a joke Don't curse me curse him Now I'm saying that uh I'm just saying that there's late in life there are

I mean late in the pregnancy There are things that happen and sometimes the the the baby needs to get harpooned and I I'm not involved with it Now My position on this has always been this hey, is there any more dip? I My position on this has always been because people get very they go nuts with this

They start screaming yelling and I always go like this. I go what do you buy this for? You know my position on Roe v. Wade has always been is this a legal two family You could do a rental if you wanted in the bag My position on Roe v. Wade has always been the parking is not as bad as I thought I thought that the parking would be bad. It's not that bad My position on Roe v. Wade has been very much like well when you do the kitchen you do the whole thing You know just go in there and do it Porcelain tile is fine. It's durable and it looks like marble

These are the opinions That I've had over the years with regard to Roe v. Wade And of course, I'm for women getting abortions and I think the government should fund it Up until the point where it makes me personally uncomfortable You know because it there is a certain now what's weird about this is I guess it's already been decided By the time this comes out, but I I'm preparing everyone for all of the there's all of the things here You have all of my reactions to this. Fuck Now

I don't know what to tell you but let's let's move on here from that because that's the our Roe v. Wade section and it's very important Now it is because people, you know, it's I don't know But you gotta You gotta it's one of those where it's like Hey You know It's one of those where you go Damn it

Ask me about Roe v. Wade right now Like in the future like I'll be my father. I look like my father right now. Ask me about Roe v. Wade See they might overturn Roe v. Wade. I mean every day My boomer father's response ask me about Roe v. Wade my boomer father's response. Yeah, they did you see the Roe v. Wade news? Yeah, they might overturn it, you know, so I was just saying that you know I was just saying that someone was someone was saying that and I was saying that you know It's just one of those things I

Don't I don't know if my dad knows what Roe v. Wade is I don't know if he knows what Roe v. Wade is You know, but is there anything else as a as a as a society we can grasp on to and enjoy and just take pride in Uh, rachel dolezal has an only fans now. Fuck. Yeah, pop that puss Uh, she's not an unattractive woman. No, not at all. No She's quite and there's a market for A white woman who pretends to be black on only fans, right? Oh for sure for sure. God love her Uh, and then the other thing people some people are excited about some people are not is that uh

The we have more gun rights now in the country Well, now how did this happen because I thought that's what I thought it's a sneaky I thought they were gonna take away some of them after that shooting of all the babies in their heads But now what happened they've gone the other way these sneaky devils now They've gone the other way on this, huh? Because a bunch of kids got uh murdered and so what did they say they went the other way? Yeah, basically I don't understand things with guns, but basically like you don't really need uh that concealed license now concealed carry Yeah, you just have to do the test and you have to uh, you know

You have to do a test and do the thing and then you but is this Isn't there a gun control bill that was passed as well? Oh was there I didn't yeah Um, we're recording this in september of 2019 Uh bobby I have a video of a guy who owned I figure you might as well go right to the horse's mouth. There's a guy who owns a gun store I have an get that guy owns that get that gun store up Let him have his say

KTLA does good work shut up Where's this article been? Uh, I do good work. Uh, it's uh, scotis expands gun rights and six three really Click that YouTube given a boarded mother's gun so they could kill their babies Fuck yeah This is good shit You should have to shoot your baby in the stomach. No more making it easy Right, isn't this what we're doing? We recorded this in 2017 It skipped to like a minute 15 in bobby get in get in there and get put the gun in the baby's hand

I mean, I'm you know, let's watch this. Oh, I'll try to put the headphones on over one of these Are expected to be challenged How could this ruling impact states like california it's going to impact the state very very Significantly what it's going to do is now open that door up for those who would normally not be able to get a ccw And now be able to get one And the ccw is to carry concealed weapons permit Because they don't have to have a good call statement now now anybody that can pass a background check And can take the class and pass a class you will be able to get one

Okay So that's it. So you it's it's more people can get guns now basically I did confirm that Well good So they kind of went the other way on it, but well Who knows you know Our friend steve will do it is one of the milk boys steve is a real good guy in in the world And especially in the world of the internet, there are not too many good people Left anymore truly and steve actually helps people

And what I've seen steve do personally is he gives people cars and houses You know, I've seen him go to a hospital and like Help a kid with cancer. I don't know how but like steve will like Do the get get get that up. Can we show that? Yeah. Yeah, Bobby. Can you type in steve will do it? Actually a good part, you know, I know I joke around about him Uh, you know, whatever, but he's actually a good friend. I keep trying. I'm gonna do their podcast I'm sick right now. I don't want to do what I'm sick. I don't want to get on a plane

Um, but I'm a very big fan of this whole group of people and I know they've been maligned by some people that are Ultra sensitive the milk people but they are a good group of people actually and they They you know, they do good things steve has actually done a good thing I you know, I do good things all the time too, which is I'm it's never reported and no one cares Everybody talks about everything else But what they don't talk about is a good things that I do constantly all the time starting with the fucking charity case I have to my left

Okay Okay, then I literally rescued from a from a litter But I I mean this steve will do it now. What what are this? Do we have him helping a kid with cancer? Yeah I have a video here. It's 26 minutes. Well, let's just play a minute of it. Thank you, Bobby I'll just jump into it or yeah, just hop right in jump into it. It's It's for the this is steve will do its youtube this is steve will do its youtube channel and he's he's Helping someone with camp. I mean the guy's a good person. Yeah, he is What is he doing here with the cancer?

Yeah, so he's out here and he's this is a girl on crutches Oh, and she has cancer and he's gonna help her. Yeah All right, get it off. But you get my point It's great that he's doing like he's a good person go to his youtube channel. Check out what he's doing I don't can I just show up and start helping people too with cancer anything that'll go No, you know what I mean like why do I feel like I'll be attacked I'll be attacked if I try to do that if I try to help someone with cancer. I'll be attacked Right probably sorry they'll attack me

Is there like a hot 19 year old guy with cancer who I could suck off while he dies You Check out steve will do its youtube channel Steve will do what is the channel please it's the steve will do it youtube channel Yes, I steve will do it too where he gambles online And that's fun. It's really fun and he gambles sometimes with the cancer patients He gets them all and they all take a trip to uh the cayman islands and gamble Steve will do it go get him. Thank you

I'm I'm gonna withhold judgment. It's the 4th of july It's time to part it's time to have a rainbow italian ice And just sit by the window You know, it's time to go out and enjoy yourself enough with the controversial topics We got to be able to find something as a as a nation as a culture We can agree on something that we like you know insurance fraud or something that doesn't hurt anybody But helps you know something that we can all coalesce around like a message um that we feel

Exemplifies what it means to be an american You know, what does it mean to be an american like to you? I'm putting this to you now and then i'll answer it What does it mean to be an american to you? You want me to answer this earnestly? I want you to answer it earnestly and then i'm going to answer it earnestly as well to me an american is above all else individuality

and uh Owning your own property Mm-hmm, and then the separation of any sort of religious property. I don't I don't have any assets actually I lease my car. I rent my house Okay, it's just interesting this definition of american doesn't include yourself But continue. I'm still young but uh uh, so uh, you know without uh any sort of persuasion from outside influence like a religion or uh

Government or anything like that. I can I can be a sovereign man. Basically. That's what being an american is to me What is being an american to you? This is what being an american means to me when I was a young boy I went To my friend's sister's house who is mentally retarded She was not diagnosed mentally retarded, but she was incredibly dumb We She went out she left us there

We said She said was do not leave You can order dominoes and watch films We said wouldn't it be funny if we left a fake ransom note For her she won't believe it. She's not that stupid So we went to the park to smoke a pack of cigarettes. We had stolen from his mother And we left a ransom note that said I kidnapped the two kids if you want them back show up to this intersection with money well this moron

Called the police because she actually believed that we had been kidnapped and she started hysterically Crying and she called the police and we didn't know what to do And we eventually walked back to the house while the police were outside And she was crying and she grabbed us and hugged us Like she still thought that we had been kidnapped And she had called my friend's mother and my friend's mother knew what was going on and she was very angry And she pulled out outside the house And she looked at me and my friend and she goes I can't believe you would do this

To your sister and then she turned around and she looked at the girl and she went you are a fucking retard That's What being an american means To me You see everybody Has a different version of the the joys And the promises and the challenges of this land

But that story Really encapsulates it to me I don't give a shit about this owning property and any of that other shit But when she looked at her and said you are a fucking retard How stupid are you? I mean

It just made me happy and it was the summer. It was a nice It was a nice summer memory, but to me america is about having an abortion with a gun It's about eating a sandwich that's made of a sandwich It's about being on a boat getting fucked by a boat on a boat It's about Hitting a dog and unlike you not adopting it driving on That's what america is about to me, you know It's about drinking gasoline and lighting your inner fire

It's about crushing pills on a cd case and snorting them to feel good It's about finding friends that you only are friends with because they have drugs It's about getting a job you hate in the hopes that one day you could get a job you hate that pays more money than this one It's about finding someone to fuck who hates you Being an american to me is about traveling without truly ever leaving Never really appreciating anything being handed stuff Getting a lot of things you don't deserve and nothing you do Being handed things squandering opportunities always attacking others blaming

Never being introspective and looking down deep in yourself as to why You are where you are or how you could have handled things better Being an american to me means being entertaining at all times even when killing someone It means That everything in life should be a spectacle kind of an oj simpson trial Everything from your divorce to an argument at breakfast. Everything should at all times be insane Nothing should truly make sense outside of the idea that is all entertaining and for sport Being an american to me means being inconsiderate in a very considerate way

Meaning offending people only once you've gotten to know them pretty damn well Knowing the buttons to push and pushing them being an american to me means Figuring out that everything's full of shit when you're about nine And oscillating between drug food sex addiction and the mismanagement of your money to handle it Knowing at any time that your government has orchestrated many different attempts to kill and enslave you I'd still enjoying Top Gun. It's a good film Being an american to me means never feeling sorry for a feral cat Knowing that it'll figure it out just like you will

Being an american to me means looking at a disabled person and knowing somewhere down deep they deserve it Be mere being an american to me means you can summon up a murderous rage at the slightest inconvenience If someone refuses to see you in an appropriate period of time at a restaurant Praying that they get into a car accident where they bash their head off their glove compartment And they live to deal with the debt Being an american doesn't mean wishing death on someone it means wishing bankruptcy Multiple times that they have to go in and out of court. It doesn't mean wishing they lose their children It means wishing they have to raise them

Being in being an american to me Means everything And also nothing at all We're a country of 350 million people Being an american means watching people from all walks of life all corners of the world come here and learn To be a psychopath Being an american to me means being jealous Findictive petty hostile vicious

Cowardly brave also Being a liar Being a cynic But being ultimately hopeful That one day the people you agree with kill everyone else Being an american to me means concerning yourself

With tunnels of children under the ground Or government controlling the weather but never With your actual position in life And who's fucking you that can actually reach out and touch you? Because they're out there Being an american to me means understanding that tgif was a good group of shows on abc And yes, the kids got raped

Being an american to me means understanding that wendy's in the 1990s Was maybe the greatest restaurant That god has ever given man That the monorail ranch chicken sandwich With bacon In the ranch dressing lettuce tomato

And a slice of monterey jack ish like cheese On a soft bun while eaten In a mazda navajo you had financed on the way to a house you couldn't afford But you had somehow figured out how to pay for that month Was a great joy America's a collection of minutes It's a collection of cigarette breaks. It's a collection of finding a bathroom in a mall

It's a collection of shitting It's a collection of lost friendships unrequited loves opportunities you didn't take failures small successes broken families bitter

horrible nasty hopeless people That all come together Every 4th of july to eat That's what america is. There's something beautiful about it america's industrial parks Our most beautiful places in america our national parks have become

playgrounds for killers To murder people who go seek out their majestic beauty America means that the government may kidnap your children and try to turn them into sex slaves or assassins Mind control victims and brainwash them But at the end of the day entomans is a good cake And everyone likes it i do America to me is about telling your children to go to college so that they can go

And haze other kids and kill them That's what america means to me America to me means you can start a podcast with your friend and end up on an fbi watchlist America to me means you can move to the greatest city in america austin texas And live there in 100 degrees swamp heat For a year Because it's a truly moving experience America means

The great comedy clubs the comedy store the comedy The stand and others Will be full of young children And by young children i mean 41 year olds Trying to make it as a buffoon. That's beautiful America to me means that our one of our most american sports golf Will like everything else Eventually be owned by the saudis

That's what america means to me. It's a great country. It's a beautiful place I'm happy to be here, but i would go anywhere else You understand That's what america means to me i've been incredibly blessed to live here I've met some of the most interesting people in my business and other businesses And i've realized that they're not That interesting

And that's a blessing That's a blessing I've been i've met some of the wealthiest people in the world some of the most powerful people in the world And i'll tell you right now. There's nothing more fun than doing cocaine with your friend in the back of a rental car That's america to me America to me It comes down to three words Shut your mouth

Shut your mouth because someone else is talking And that person is smarter than you or at least they've robbed more people America to me is about endless options for pancakes So many different types of fluffy pancakes that you can put your head on and sleep America to me is about the chalky taste that a pharmaceutical leaves as it slides down your throat Headed to your bloodstream to make it all better

America means finding your child odine in the bathroom Getting the narcan out and reviving them So they live to rob you one more time That's what america means never give up Never surrender We have a beautiful and very very disgusting country And i'm proud to live here

I'm proud of all of our problems our school shootings our tent cities They are our greatest strengths It's all a matter of perspective That's what america means to me America means to me sitting at a bar next to someone And i've done this

Where you're doing shots And their child their 11 year old child walks in Crying and says daddy, please come home And he goes you're not old enough to be in here You have to leave okay little angel daddy'll be home soon And then the mother comes in and she goes how can you sit there as a man? While your daughter cries and asks for you to come home And he says bitch get the fuck out of my face

And she leaves and then he looks at me and he goes She's very selfish and i said i think she is And he goes would you like to split an order of clams? That's what america means to me What a selfish bitch Whatever america means to you out there i don't care Doesn't mean anything to me All i ask is that you keep listening to our show and keep paying us

Whatever else you do Whatever genocides you commit Just know That all we care about is that you support us You can beat your wife You can torture your children You could be like jenny's dad and farce gump just rape them all But if you buy our products

If you buy tickets to see me and you support our patreon Like they say in the opening scene of the wire, it's america, man It's america so With all of that Our show is exclusively moving To saudi spotify It will be available

Only in the country of saudi arabia And they're giving us a hundred million dollars The most american thing i could think of to do Would be to sell this podcast To saudi arabia The most american thing i could do

Would be to open this podcast next week sitting in full saudi garb From a palace in riyadh And don't think i won't do it Don't think for a minute That i won't do it. Oh christ i'll do it That is the most american thing That i can do It's the most american thing i can do

It's really the most american thing i can do Because it's um It's a country about the future It's not about the past It's not about oh the government did 9 11. It's what are they gonna do next? It's about the future you can't Lose yourself You have to always focus on the great things that are coming our way

My father said something to me That was very brilliant And it meant a lot to me We were driving once and he said to me he said son Never overestimate your worth He said you're not that special and anything you could do someone else can probably do And i always remembered that I always remembered that

I think it made a lot of sense He said to me one day me and your mother it's not that we don't love each other It's that we don't love each other anymore We're we're ending this marriage You know Listen, I don't it's no secret that I don't speak to a lot of my family and that's okay. That doesn't mean much doesn't mean anything you know But that's what america's america's about family america's about family

That's what america's about it's a big we're a big wacky family We're a big wacky family And my mother has always been You know pretty honest with me About this country She's she's always been honest. She said to me you're too fat to be on television consistently She said if you dye your hair someone may give you enough money to fix your teeth And she said barack obama's a muslim

Now My mother's a great american story because she started out As a week you watch a mermaid in florida. She spent years as a surfer Then having me and then was a swim teacher and now She ends as a paranoid schizophrenic locked away in a room But if we only knew about live streaming ma Oh god

The money you could have made The money ma could have made If we just knew about live streaming Because man Mommy would have fucking lit up those super chats Mommy would have live streamed her way right out It's a question of timing Question of timing

It's unfortunate. Do you have anything to add before we get out of here? No, that was beautiful. Yes, it's absolutely beautiful It's almost like I'm the one that should talk This guy took him to home ownership. He doesn't know anything He owns a sick dog kill it Everyone I hope you enjoy uh your fourth of july I Hope you remember What made this country great

fraud murder And cool shit Cool shit we've got cool shit here got cool shit people come here to go. That's pretty cool Be cool smoke drink use drugs Make a lot of money Die very young Kill others

Happy farts