The Tim Dillon Show - 323 - Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: November 14, 2022

- Tim Dillon is joined in Gas Digital Studios for the last guest episode for the year. Sitting down with Tim we have comedian Ari Shaffir to discuss, Shaffir fleeing the country after being cancelled, fat rehab, & much more. - Miami Improv November 17-19th Tickets on Sale https://www.miamiimprov.com/shows/194161 - Follow Ari Shaffir on Instagram here https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir/?hl=en Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack Bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow Netflix special: https://www.netflix.com/watch/81616382 SPONSORS: ATHLETIC GREENS: ▶▶ https://www.athleticgreens.com/timdillon, for one free year of Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! RAYCON: ▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim, and use code EARLYBF to get 20% off STATEWIDE! BETTERHELP: ▶▶ https://www.betterHELP.com/TIMD, learn more and get 10% off your first month! ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ 🐦 Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon 🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows 📹 Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show in New York City. I was here to do a show in Philly, which was great. Thank you to everybody for coming out to Parks Casino and I'm at the Miami Improv November 17th through the 19th. And this is our final guest of the year. The rest are we're, we're, we're back to solo episodes, but we wanted to get you in. Ari Shafir. Thanks, buddy. Tell the truth. Park Casino full of fat, disgusting people though, right? I mean Casino people are like gutter. The people that my Tracy, fat Tracy, hosted the show. She brought in four or five women

after the show to take a photo. One woman had a gold chain like the one Mr. T used to wear. Tied around her fupa. I mean the most disgusting, but you know, I'm sure the rest of the audience was lovely, but that one woman, I mean, it was wild, but, but, but full of life. Oh, no, they're having a good time. They're having a good time. They're out of the casino. Yeah. There are 1199 meals. You're special. I have had three different people call me and go, this thing is so fucking good. Oh, hell yeah. It's amazing. You worked on it for five years. It has a theme. The theme

is Jews. The theme is taken over. The theme is Jews. It couldn't be more relevant right now. I feel like people just discovered us because of Kanye put us over. Yeah. The way P did he would do with Mace. Yeah. Why did you want to do an hour about the most hated group of people on earth? I'd like to stir the pot. I guess that's a good question. I went to Edinburgh. They all do these dumb fucking theme hours and they're so bad at it. Yeah, we get serious for so long. Well, it's always like an hour is like I was misgendered at a fruit stand.

Yeah. Or somebody's doing it on from a treadmill the whole time. Or it's just like some weird thing. I was misgendered a fruit since the end of my life. Right. Someone in a text thread called me retarded and that's an hour. Yeah. It's an hour about this one nothing moment. They always should have overpushed the drama. You get Miss Pat who just skates to buy her rape. You don't even like. Wait, what should I say? Yeah. She was hit with a dump truck. Yeah. And she doesn't even really dwell on it. Well, the dump truck didn't do farewell. Right. It's a good point. Yeah. What? What was it about? Were you just like I want to how Jewish even are you? I don't even think of you as that you look very Jewish,

but I don't think of you as a committed Jew. I'm out. That's the deal. I'm out. I'm not committed at all. I don't give a shit about those people. I do. I care about them a little bit, but like you have to cultural. That's it. I look for bargains. Yeah. Little things you can't shake, you know, from your childhood. You must see like a, you know, construction company and you go, oh, fuck it on that. Yeah. I mean, my people are Irish. So I feel a kinship with my people 100 percent. I'm not lying on Long Island. Long Island. I feel a kinship with criminals and people that do prescription drugs. Contractors. No, but I feel people, the people that you grew up around are the people that you love. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what it is. So I just wanted to show everybody what they were. And what are they? They're, they're just like everybody else. That's not true. They're better. We value education. Yeah. We're not born intelligent. It might be genetic. Let's be honest. There's no, there's not many studies on it, but we are smarter aren't the IQs of Ashkenazi Jews very high. Extremely high. I mean, is that any surprise? No. Well, Woody Allen wrote his own movies. A lot of these guys just take on someone else's project. You think Michael Bade even knows how to write? No, he doesn't. He just has special effects. Yeah. We're extremely intelligent. We value education. We stick to ourselves. We fucking, you know, raise

our kids right when you hear Kanye throw out all these things. It's collusion. The people they're working together against the others. Do you understand it all where he comes from? Yeah, we help ourselves. We all went to like Jewish, like dentists and stuff. Right. You know, it's just like, you know, support, support. This one fucking killer Mike says about black people. Right. How come you don't support each other's business? So we're like, yeah, we know we figured it out. There seems to be a tough relationship between Jewish music executives and black performers. Yeah. Here's why we designed everything they do that do rag that 50 cent had. That's due designed. Really? We choose all that shit. They run it by us. And

then we choose what will we do market research and we just figure out what's the best. Millie Vanilly. It was all Jews who were singing this stuff. Right. We've just like planned it, but we know we're not cool looking. And also, yeah, we kill it in the management industry. You know why? Why comedy managers and agents are Jews? Why? Why the record? Because you need to be having some funneling your money the first three years. You're not making any money. Right. Who else could afford that? Only rich. Right. Well, this that's good. Follow your dream. These are all good things. Good things. But here's the thing also. Yeah, because I grew up with Jews. Yeah. On Long Island. Oh, there's tons whom I love. Yeah. Loud. They're a little loud, obnoxious,

complaining for sure. Complainers. Yeah. But you need in an area where there are no Jews and Italians. There's no good food because wasps. Yeah, will not complain because they don't want to look a waiter in the eye because they feel so above them. They don't even complain. A Jewish person will. We'll go back there. Yes. We'll go back there. Hey, no, no, no. Right. Switch it. Yeah, absolutely. I was at the Galapagos and the guy was like, I mentioned I was Jewish. He goes, is that like Israeli? I'm like, Yeah, sure. And he goes, I've had three Israelis to here and they just go to the kitchen. They just go and cook themselves stuff in our right. And I'm like, Yeah, why would we wait? Why is there so much anti Semitism? It's kind of like where people hate

the Patriots. Right. They win. They win. Right. Yeah. No one hates Cambodians. No, I'm kidding. I don't even know. You know. Yeah. Yeah. There is a lot. I saw Brian Holtsman, you know, Holtsman, right? Of course. You saw some Jewish lady in the front row is what are you Jewish? She goes, yeah, he goes, why does everybody hate you? Yeah. She goes, I don't know. He goes, Hey, I think you'd ask if everybody hated me. Yeah, I might ask is the hour about being a Jew, all of it being a Jew, what Judaism is the laws, the history, the Bible stories. Where does Judaism come from? I'm genuinely curious. Because it's British. Like God, who was the first Jew? Good question. I guess Abraham, right? Yeah. Yeah. Abraham was, yeah, Abraham was the first Jew

before that various equal. Do you know you go to heaven without even having to do what we do? Well, you don't believe in heaven. I don't. Jews don't Jews. No, we believe in heaven. We don't believe in hell. Oh, purgatory. We got purgatory only. I'm a Christian, which is a perfected Jew. Because Jesus came and Colter said that once. Oh, Jesus came and said, I'm dying for your sins. And you guys said, we're gonna, did you guys do it or did the Romans kill Jesus? Who killed Jesus? We don't get our hands dirty. Right. It's a good point. Yeah. Who, you know, who built the deck? Oh, I built the deck in my house. I built a new, no, Mexicans did it. When you go to Israel, do you feel a kinship? Do you feel, because when I go to Dublin, Ireland, I go, yeah,

I see everyone looks like a potato. I get it. Pasty face. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. They're so much tougher there though. Yeah. They're living in the fucking on the edge all the time. You've been there ever? Never. You got to do one of those. It's too dirty to go on one of those gigs. I am too. What are the, they're living on the edge because of what war? Any moment. There's going to be a fucking bombing. Where is your tech? You know, Tel Aviv, the settlement Israel. Yeah. I haven't heard about this. The Middle East. They're so calm. I heard an old prime minister or whatever he say, what's the problem? The middle east. He goes, America is looking at it like, Oh, we'll trade you some land for peace, whatever. And he goes, you know, gold or whatever,

whatever you don't want to do to trade. He goes there. They're operating on a different thing. They go, our God told us to kill you. Right. You can't really negotiate. How do you fix that? And I won't hold you to this, but like many people say, kill them all. Right. I don't. Right. You mean, and them all, you mean the Palestinians? They both think the same way. Right. Yeah. Yeah. They're both like, yeah. Well, who's that? Have you, have you gone to the Gaza strip? No, I go by that. They, they do. They used to take you on buses, like armed cars, like, you know, bars in the windows. Rocks would start throwing at you. It was crazy. It's the fucking front lines. Yeah. It's 20 years ago. Last time I went to like places like that,

but it's, is it fair what Israel did? No, no, it's terrible. It's terrible, dude. Those people live poor. I mean, it comes from a place that is like real war. We took them over from, from fucking Jordan and Jordan's like, we don't want them. Right. I was like, come get your refugees back. They're like, nah, they're your problem now. Imagine if Mexico attacked and we drove them back, you know, 50 yards and we're like, all right, well, these are all yours. Mexico's like, nah, take all those T1s. Yeah. It's a difficult thing because it's best not to think about it. Barrier head in the sand is the best. One, one viewpoint is the viewpoint that I have,

which is I don't, I don't care. That's me. I'm unaffected and I don't know how to fix it. I don't have any opinion on how to fix it. Yeah. That's the viewpoint. That's the viewpoint. It's like homelessness and the people that, well, how did you fix it? I'm like, I'm not in charge of that. Right. I don't know. Here's what, get a home, you nut. I mean, these people without homes, it's insane. You want to live in Manhattan so bad. You can't live here. The price is too high. Haven't you seen the movies where people are in a house with a fire? Doesn't that look better than that tent? You nut. They're goons. You think the first person to give them a tent be like, oh, I have an idea of an old

tent. I'll give it to like, they didn't used to have. I don't even believe these people are homeless. I think they're just making a point. What's the point that they're like fucking, I don't know. They want to be special. Outlaws. They want to be special. So they're like, oh, I live in a tent and you're like, we get it, but it's not even special anymore. Everybody's doing it. It's like being into a lot. It's the first year. I get it. Yeah. I'm sick of homelessness. I won't tolerate it. I won't tolerate any discussion of it. I will pretend it doesn't exist until I am homeless very soon. You ever go to another city where homelessness is new? And then some homeless guy will come up and talk to you. Just like ignore him and keep

talking to people like, how do you do that? Yeah. Practice. Oh yeah. I'm a pro at it now. LA has got 40,000 homeless people. Is that true? They're a voting block. They have a Kansas City of homeless in LA, but you ignore it. They don't vote. They don't vote. You should buy their votes in swing, swing places. Didn't they do that? They're old. They have ticks and they won't show up and they're foaming at the mouth. They're all on fentanyl. Yeah. If they organize, that's probably their biggest problem though. They're not organized. There's gotta be a few sober homeless people that are like, man, I'm really missing out. They have weed homeless in LA. They don't hang out with the heroin homeless. Interesting. Yeah. They're like, no, those people. How are you homeless from

getting high? Those dabs, bro. I mean, damn. That was a strong edible. You're homeless for smoking weed. I just forgot to keep forgetting to pay the rent. What a fucking embarrassing thing to say. Let's go for man. Dude, I went to rehab for Percocet and I was embarrassed because everybody else was like oxies. You went to rehab for Percocet? Yeah. How good is Percocet? It's amazing, but it was gay. Like when I was in there, everybody was like, I'm an oxy, continent addict. I'm a heroin addict. I'm a crackhead. And I'm like, I do Percocet. They're like, oh, you're gay. That's how I figured out I was gay. They were like, you're gay. And you started to examine it. They're like, maybe. They're like, you're a dumb faggot. No,

I'm kidding. I knew before that. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder what the homeless is like. Yeah. Do you ever see one of those people like start to kill them? You know, there's like a rash of it and everyone kind of like, we're going to ignore this story. Oh, I've never seen that. There's like, oh, 10 people have shown up murdered in the last three days. Well, they start fires and I'm, you know, I'm not judging them. It's camping. If you're going to camp, you gotta have a campfire. But they start fires and they, in California, they burn things down. Like what? Valuable things? Well, they start fires. The Kodak Theater. They start massive fires that burned down all these houses. Good. Well, it's just a bunch of actors.

It's a way to, it's a way to think, but Joe Rogan was up there and he had to be evacuated. Well, how the fuck are the fires before the homeless too? Sure. But I wait, they started the forest fires. Yeah. Climate change is homeless people. Yeah. Fucking around. Yeah. They're bringing back the plague. That's the majority of what it is. Nobody wants to admit it. Nobody wants to admit it. They call it pollution for businesses. They're like, oh, it's the fucking whatever. It's no, it's homeless people start fires for fun because they're bored. And then they don't care. They don't have a community to protect. It doesn't. They don't care. They just march away and they leave. Interesting. Interesting. You heard it here first.

That's what's going on. It's true. Everything is true. How much are you going to rehab for? I went to rehab for, so I was supposed to go for like 28 days, but they cut me off because my insurance said he's going to be okay. So seven days. Really? Yeah. I didn't know you were like, I got to go. This is too much. I was, I was at a point when I said I should give this a shot. Give rehab a shot. Give it a shot. Could you couldn't stop? Well, I didn't want to. Right. But then I knew I had to. And I'm like, if I don't give it a shot, I'll regret it. Yeah. Before it's too late. Yeah. And I wanted to go and like, you know, you feel as a drug addict, you feel like there's certain things you should do.

And one of them is go to a rehab. Also, it's cool. It's amazing. It's cool to say you want to rehab. It's badass. Yeah. It's one of the, my favorite things about myself is that I went to rehab. Yeah. All the time I bring it up. I went to rehab. That's cool as shit. It's cool. It's such a fucking rock star thing. Of course. He had to be sent to rehab. Having a drug problem or being mentally ill is fucking awesome. Yeah. It's one of the coolest things you can do. Being a boring piece of shit who goes to work every day and fucking pays his fat family's bills is gay. Going to rehab. Being a junkie. It's so cool. It is big out in the street. It's just like, especially in the summer. Oh, yeah. Way to go. If you're a kid outlaw,

if you're a kid right now and you're listening to this show, start, start using drugs with the idea that one day you'll go to rehab. Yeah. You can just clean it up. Do you have parents that both work? Do you have a second car? You'll be taken care of. You're fine. You're fine. Here's the deal. Two of the people I went to rehab with are now dead. Really? Yes. From what? Killing it so hard? Drugs. No. It's drugs. What happened to the rehab? They still did drugs after the rehab. After that's one of the big issues with rehab. Well, yeah. They're like, but it is taking a break. They left the rehab and they, their tolerances went down. That's what happened to Philip Seymour Hoffman. That's right. When you do when it's fucking college heroin,

when you got to do your old band heroin. That's right. You can't go right to their same dosage. You go out and you get out of rehab. Do they not tell them? Do they not tell you? He goes, they should go when you relapsed him. Yeah. Go half. I actually did it. Like when I got out of rehab, yeah, I was good for how long I got into comedy. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, I thought this was like recent. No. I thought I just heard you went to rehab. I haven't touched your drink. I haven't seen you in a little bit. I haven't touched your drink in 12 years. Because you're a loser. I have things to do. Yeah. Fair. Fair. Building an empire. 12 year empire. Renting out someone else's studio. Renting out the lowest level studio in New York.

Yeah. Building an empire, sitting in a basement. But what am I going to do? You know, it's a great studio. Every time I come here, I give, I give, I try to give, I pay the producer. I don't pay a studio rental fee, which is nice. Best not to. It's best not to. Don't give it up for thanks to that guy. Yeah. And, and, and I love Louis Gomez. Cut that. And, and, and that's why we support this. Yeah. But yeah, I haven't done anything in 12 years. Wait, you thought I was rehab like last week. When did you start a comedy out of rehab? I was like, dad, so fucking cool. I may go to rehab now because now I'm thinking about what if I go without a problem? Also money rehab. The rehab you'll get now. The yoga classes, the massages, the tropical fruit. Can you go to rehab for being

fat? Oh, yo, yeah. Sure. Yeah. Absolutely. There's fat rehab. Yeah. So I'll go to fat rehab. You can also just go to resort. But then have a great time. Get fatter. Yeah. But if you go to rehab, they'll make you less fat. You think so? That's the goal. Yeah. If you go to fat rehab. Yeah. You go to drug rehab to make you less drugs. What? Two out of three dead. If I go to drug rehab, sober already, I'm just going to eat because no one will judge you. I'll just smoke cigarettes and eat. I want to go to fat rehab. Yeah, you should. Have you ever thought because you do a lot of drugs? What would they do? Just celery all day? They give you like juices. They. You eat better at a drug rehab. Probably. Yeah. Well, I think in a fat rehab, they'll ask you like, what are your goals?

Why are you here? What are the behaviors that we need to stop? And you just go being fat. Right. But now they're like barely allowed to ask that because of the fat activist movement. Fat shaming. They can't really ask. You know how great Americans are? Big fat's disgusting. Yeah. And then they go, Hey, I don't want to face that. So I'll just make it socially illegal to even mention it. I'll change the law around me. All of these things are ridiculous. You end up respecting because at the end of the day, you lose. Like we're not going to win it. Like this thing with trans kids, you're not going to win. The next generation is all going to be trans. There's nothing you can do about it. Stupid not to go trans a little bit. And they're going to be fat

and trans. That's it. Oh, no, fat trans. Oh, it's the worst trans dress like a model. That's the only benefit. You go, Whoa, who's that? And somebody's like, Oh, okay. But they look good. No, I'm looking bad. You're going to have fat trans people everywhere in every corner of your vision. If you can't deal with that leave America, you're fighting these battles that are there. They're not going to be won ever trans. Don't don't fight it from the inside of the community. Have an idea that looks are important. We need your chance community to keep us safe. So you're saying hot trans people. Yeah, they should bring back hot. They dress better than so I can heterosexual woman. Yeah, but there there's a new kind of trans, which I don't even think you're realizing. What is it?

It's the fat trans move. Oh, no. Yes. These are the unforeseen consequences. It's the non binary movement. That's not really trans. It's just kind of fat. And they have blue hair. And they like cartoons losers. Yeah, well, maybe while you said that, but I get losers. And they're like, What are you shut up? I'm trans or something that trans autistic people are going to rule you. And if you don't like it, leave America. And if I was running, I would say that I'd be like, there's we can't fight these people. We can't. We have to wipe them out. Kill them all. If you don't like a 300 pound gender non conforming blue haired Lord of the Rings fan. Yeah. That's going to be, you know what they're going to do? They're going to make votes public. So you can't

do a private vote anymore. Yes. Every trans is going to win. Yeah. Trans black autism. You're right. And you should. It should happen. That's progress because the energy to fight all of this not worth it. It's not worth it. Enjoy your boat. Go have fun. Yeah. This is what I feel like Russia Ukraine. You're all worried about the fucking nuclear apocalypse. I'm like, I'm going to be skiing. I just my whole attitude is like, I would like to not have one over the Ukraine. Yeah. Can we stop pretending we care? Yeah, make it over like China, Russia, something better, something better. Some are cool. Ukraine. No one's going there. Do Jews ever get to a point where people are like, you're fucking cool now. Yeah,

it goes back and forth. Right. It really does. It ebbs and flows. Yeah. Every fucking picture of a Palestinian like 12 year old with an arm missing from a fucking shell going off. That doesn't help. You guys love to kill the kids. You kill these Palestinian kids. I mean, it's like nothing I've ever seen. Barry Weiss came on my show and I said, you know, you bomb schools and she goes, and we also bomb hospitals. We have to. And I'm like, that's your defense because that's where the terrorists might have been opposite. I might have said hospital. She might have said we also have to bomb schools because she goes, the terrorists all hide in the schools and hospitals. Yeah, you guys like they're not

going to bomb this and they go, all right, you just kill these Palestinian children. Yeah. I mean, they don't fight back. It's easy to wonder if you've got to pick on somebody, pick on the week. It's very sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't. I'm not offended by it. It's like you said, I don't care. Even when I go there, they're not, it's homeless here. The only reason I'm not that offended by it. I have an agent. No, I'm kidding. It's not my war. It's not my fight. I don't feel, I don't want children dying. Yeah. But like they, their kids die too, I guess, right? Yeah. Is there a way to say I don't care without sounding callous? No, there's no way. I just have no caring for this issue. It's not like I don't care. It's like, it's like,

oh, that's not something I care about. It actually sounds horrible to everyone listening right now that both of us don't care. I just got better shit to deal with. There's no good way in here. It's amazing. There's no good way to say that kids are being, there's armless children running around and I don't care. Blech. Blech. What do you think about Israeli food? Underrated. It's pretty damn good. Yeah. The hummus, the hummus, the arena, falafel, and they're mixing now. They're fusion, Arab and Israeli food. Is there any truth to these conspiracies to choose run the world or the media? Got that, please? Is there any truth? No, what is that? What do you mean? I'm asking you. Who owns the New York Times? Look it up. The Salzburgers. Damn, that's

Salzburgers. Who owns the Washington Post? Bezos. Okay, one guy, one Gentile. Yeah, we let one in. And guest digital is run by. We had Chris Allen at the. Well, Ralph is Jewish, right? No. Yes, he is. Oh, yes, he is. Lewis is just a Puerto Rican face of this. Yeah, he's the face. We had Chris Allen at Norman's wedding and was like, oh, here's our not racist. Right. Chris Allen forward. So there's no truth. Wait, no, it's not a group. It's like a group. It is a group. It's not a group. We're not in cahoots. We just kill it. What do you want us to do? Not kill it? What about the Rothschild? They, they financed both sides in the war and went, you know, yeah, I do know. How about that? How about that? We turn a profit. What do

you want us to do? It's a profitable business, the media. Okay. But why would there be, there's anti-Jewish articles. Why would we allow that? Because it doesn't hurt profits. Profits are all that matters. Okay. Be anti-Israel. Just be anti-Israel from us. Not even us from them. What about these? I don't know the Rothschilds, but are you a self-hating Jew? Is that what they call you? Sometimes, right? When I got out, I was like, what the fuck is wrong with your people? Right. Yeah. Yeah. I hate a lot of them. It's a lot of what Kanye said was like this and that. No one said he was wrong. They just wanted to be quiet. Yeah. You know, it's a complex and beautiful culture. And when's it beautiful? Well, you know,

you know, the good things, they do a lot of good things. The Holocaust Memorial. Beautiful. Let's get into that Holocaust because here's what I've heard. Yeah. This is what I've heard and I'm just saying this. Okay. Just report on it. I've heard it was very bad. So far, no issues. Okay. Okay. What else have you heard? But it wasn't six. I've heard it was a six. I've heard it was four. Four. I've heard it was four. That would be a nice exaggeration because if it goes to 200,000 to six million, like it's unbelievable. If you go to four million, like we can up this a bit. I've heard it was four. I mean, that Woody Allen joke and the scary thing is records are made to be broken. I mean, isn't he, can we just say he's

a genius and enough already? He's a genius. He's a genius and worth it. He did the wrong. No, he did the wrong thing. By marrying an actress. By marrying an actress. But you know, do you believe it was six million? I don't really know, but it's odd that that's a very even number. It's strangely even. It's strangely even. It's like, it's like when you get hit with a comedy check, you know, from whatever and they go, we had exactly 40 comps. That's what we're allowed exactly for. They're like, not 32 to the weekend. Why does the Holocaust get more attention than the potato famine, which starved and killed many of my people? Do you know? I don't know. Total IQ is lost. What do you mean? Nothing lost from the fucking potato famine. Dude, we have souls. So we all

have stories and music and stories and like chelales are nice. Blarney. Yeah. No, we are the oral history of telling stories and passing down information is all us. Okay, isn't that blacks? No, it's not blood. What are you talking about? Black stories in the ships. They tell stories or what it was like before. If they were, you guys are making money off it. Yeah, someone was writing it down. Yeah, like, save this for those movies. Yeah, we want to tell this story. But yeah, I wish to get started with the story. I love all these dumb fuck cultures. This is Stavros has the same shit. They all brag about the past, whereas real cultures are bragging about the present. Oh, we started storytelling. What's fucking going on now? I know the Chinese

and the Arabs are the future. That's the fact. The Chinese are killing it. But you know the Chinese are going to beat the Jews. Chinese don't have a problem with us. We've never been at war with the Chinese. Interesting. We'll go we'll go hoots it till the end of time. What? What? There's no issues there. You love Chinese food. Because you knew we knew it was going to be available. And Chinese do not reciprocate that. They don't eat like Rubens. No, they've never had a bagel. Never. No, they never had a borscht or a fricking coogle. Interesting. Yeah, what the I had cats. Deli the other day. It's amazing. Oh, I thought you were talking about Chinese and said I had cats. No, Jewish food. Yeah, delis. Oh, my God. Smoked fish. Why such a big sandwich?

I don't know. My dad used to do. He'd be like, get me some extra rye bread and we split that sandwich into like four. Yeah, it's so hot. You can wrap your mouth around it. How Jewish is that? Splitting it into four. Yeah. And the rye bread rest free. The extra rye bread. This hour that everyone loves. Everyone is saying this is a great hour because it's about the Jews. I never thought of that angle. I just smart cut that too. I just thought it was people give me compliments. But how could they say anything but now do you think it's because you're a Jewish comedian, you're allowed to have your special named Jew? Like if my special was called Jew or hey, Jew, yeah, it wouldn't even get off the

ground. You know my next special CD. I'm just gonna make a CD. I talked about a charade. It's gonna be called too many blacks. And the answer is what are the responses from the Jewish community to your special? Mostly they love it. You have an occasional like, you know, hate speech person that's like this is a fact. This could mean more anti-Semitism losers, dorks and losers. Right. It just brings people together. But the vast majority that like this is great. Thanks for thanks for sharing our fucking life experience. All the fucking wig ladies, you know, are like sick when nobody talks about us. Not in a fun way. Have you gone into the bowels of the belly of the beast? As you say, have you gone to Williamsburg where they have the hat? You ever see that furry

hat? Yeah, the strimal. What a fucking amazing hat. It's gorgeous. It's a beautiful hat. You know, those cost like 1500 bucks. I know. Now, how long for those become hipster staples? Do you go into that area ever? And here's why they are not worried about it because you can't get YouTube on your flip phone. Wow. Yeah. I forgot they're like Amish. Yeah, more or less. They're just, but they're on their phone all day. But they're cheating on their wives sometimes. Like with fat black hookers. Really? They love a fat black hooker. Whoa. Pat, careful. A fat black hooker is what a Jewish man wants. Love it. Love it. They love it. It's so far removed from what they're allowed. Right. They just, they feel like, what am I doing? That's fucking awesome. Black chicks in general.

It's just like, you see, I saw him drop him off some in Montreal, right across from Cleopatra. You'd see him late at night just dropping him off because it's like a strimal and it's like, this doesn't go. He reads as a rabbi and that fat black hooker does not read as Jewish. And then she gets out of the car and you're just like, what the fuck? It's so cool looking. It's kind of amazing. It's kind of amazing because here's the deal. You're born a freak. You're born a freak. You don't, you know what kind of community we're going to get and you got a freak in the fucking Hasidic Jewish community. You still need it. There's gays too. Of course. And what are they supposed to do? What do they do? Hide it. Bath house. Right. I went, I took my niece to a,

to a hike. It was near somewhere in New Jersey and it was behind this mall and it was at Woods Go. And we saw this dude, 60 years old, comb over. It was, oh, hey, probably don't take her that way. It's muddy. Go that way. I was like, okay, go that way. See two other like 65, 60 year old white dudes just sitting two dudes on a bench. Later, two other dudes. And it's a fucking gay, like Vietnam era. I have my wife at home, gay hang out in the park. Wow. Yeah. And he's like, don't go that way because it gets wild. If you had not heard that or had not heeded his warning, we would have seen some scarring stuff. You would have seen some shit. Yeah. And there's got to be a Jewish version of that. A place they know where they can go. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I want to know

about that shit. I don't know. What do you think about religion in general? What a waste of a fucking life. Interesting. What a waste of a life. You know, Rogan had this guy, Matt Walsh on it. We're talking about sounds like a dork gay marriage. Oh, and Rogan and him were just debating it. And it's just you do get to that point with religion where they're like, yeah, I don't have an argument. What do you mean? It would be gay marriage. Not supposed to. Yeah, it's just wrong. And Rogan was like, well, what should gay people do if they're gay? And then Matt Walsh was like, I don't know. Just I don't I don't believe you should have sex or do anything like so the Jewish view on gay sexuality is that it is an urge not unlike drunkenness and overeating. Well,

that's what Christians say to every fundamentalist religion. But most Jewish men in the suburbs are very effeminate. Like it's really wild. They will touch the whole massage. No, but they also they're like, hello, I'm Barry Allah. This is my wife. They're like, I'm fully gay, but I'm not. Hello. Like Jewish men are insanely effeminate. I worked at a beach club in Long Island. And these guys would come in and like, hello, I'm Howard. I'm Howie. Yeah, you're right. The way you say it is borderline. It's absolutely true. It's like, oh, you're gay, but you're not. They're not gay. They're just Jewish because they're so sat in it that they don't care. Hello. Hi. Hi. What are you doing? Look at you. And then the wives are like more masculine. It's like, I'm

Eileen. They can take a cock. Yeah, they're like, I'm Eileen. This is my gay husband. I wonder how much they fuck. Yeah, it's just like, why are you religious? What are you giving your life to God for? Well, some people need it, Ari. They need something. I had when I was studying this, I had a friend who became a rabbi and I asked him for information for the special on YouTube right now. And he's like, I'm not telling you. I was like, what do you mean you have to? I'm a Jew and you're a rabbi and I'm asking you about the fucking law. And he goes, no, you're going to use it to mock. I'm not telling you. Wow. Told me to get fucked. Wow. Yeah. But this is their life. They've devoted their entire life to this. I wish there was a moment after death before lack of

afterlife where they get to realize they were wrong. How do you know they'll never realize they're wrong? Our side will only realize we're wrong if we're wrong. What a great point. Yeah, it's unfair. They'll never know they were wrong. Yeah, they're either wrong or right. They'll realize if they are right. They won't realize if they're wrong. We'll realize if we were wrong and not if we were right. Unfair. Well, if we're wrong, how do you, what do you, how do you think it happens? What happens? We get up there and God's like, like to come in with Tombo just like, nah, and we see a fucking down escalator. What are the chances of that? I feel like he'd be cool. What did I really do? Do you think? What did I really do besides pushing kids every once in a while and fucking,

you know, hitting a car and then leaving a fake note in the windshield? What, what did I really do wrong? Everyone who's governed any country acts like there's no God. The things they do. Yeah, they have to. Think about it. You have to. Anybody in a position or power and not be a complete liar knowing you blew up a wedding party. Come on, get the fuck out of town. You're a godless or you're a satanist. If you're a satanist, I get it. Do you think there's an afterlife? No. Do you? I don't know. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. I don't really care. I'm beyond atheism or agnosticism. I don't care. I mean, how do you not care? Because it's like whatever it is, it is. I got no control over it. Same as this fucking nuclear holocaust. I got no control over

it. I don't have to worry about it. You don't want to. You don't want to argument. Would you like there to be an afterlife? Yeah, that'd be nice. Be nice. Keep living forever. What I really like is like Elvin, where you just live for like a thousand years. Like an elf? Yeah. You just keep living and living. All your friends get old. You just kind of see you. You age like a year every hundred. Wouldn't life get boring? I don't think so. Imagine if you're living a life where your whole life is over like six months and you'd be like, well, now imagine it's over 40, 50, 60 years like that. But you get boring. You get used to it. You'd have a new scale. Wow. You'd watch your friends get old, die. New technology would come in. You'd have new friends. It'd be

pretty fucking sick. But then at the end, it would be so wild. What do you mean at the end? Meaning at the end of this life that you've lived, after you've seen all this stuff, wouldn't it get sad and lonely? Because there's nobody left to talk about the things that you experienced? No, they don't want to hear you. You'd be like one of those celebrities holding court. No, everyone would just be listening to you. Yeah, it would get lonely. You ever talk to like a rich, famous comedian and you're just like, you're just talking at us. Yeah, or a rock star or anything like that. And it's like, I get it. You are betters. But like, man, aren't you lonely? Don't you want some back and forth? Well, that's the whole thing. It's

lonely at the top, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they say. Yeah. Not at the top of rehab. No. I want to go to rehab. I would love if there was. Do you think it's rehabs for Jews? Oh, sure there are. Dude, sure there are. I need a piece of shit. No, there's rehabs for Jewish people that have problems. No, no, no. I don't mean like Jewish based. I mean, rehab to not be so Jewish. There should be. There should be, yeah. Would they bring in like, Aye, it's Christine Evans. How are you? I'm part owner of this place. Yeah, there should be. So she interrupts the show. Yeah, interrupts the whole show. We got a flow going. She's not Jewish, right? No, that's opposite. Armo. That is correct.

So what is the opposite of Jewish? Because I don't feel like I'm the opposite. I don't want to be the opposite. It's like, is the opposite of hungry thirsty or is the opposite hungry not hungry? I don't. I've yeah. Oh, he interested. Yeah. So I think the opposite of Jewish is like a worm or something. You're saying she's the opposite because she's retarded. Right. Okay. We're on the same page. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, they're Armenian parts just like. Yeah, I get it. What do you want people to take away from this special laughs, buddy? Just laughs about to convert. No, we don't want you. Why not welcome. We're good. We're like New York. We're good. Don't move here. Oh, crime wave, crime wave, crime wave. Patrice always said that Jews don't want you to be Jewish. No, we

don't. And why would you? Why? Because it's like we got our special thing. It's the only thing that makes us special is our small numbers. But this is what sounds a little conspiratorial. Because we have ends that you don't have. Well, no, it's just going we have and you know, we don't need you. Christians were like knocking on your door like be one of us. Yeah, I when I used to wear my yarmulke at my summer job. Some lady got black check, got into a 50 years old, got into the elevator with something. What floor? She goes, do you accept the Lord Jesus Christ, your personal savior? I don't. I don't. You know, I don't. That's where I'm running the yarmulke. I was like, what floor though? She goes, Lord Jesus Christ loves all. And I was like, okay, that's good enough.

What floor? She goes, I'm not even I just saw you guys. I'm not even like in this building. Yeah, that's gall. What about Jews for Jesus? Come on, a little conflicted. It's weird, right? It's weird. It's weird. The greatest Jew of all time. Oh, that's a good question. Jesus is up there. He's six. He succeeded where no one else did. Larry David's probably two. The Rothschilds. I mean, they built an empire. Who are they? You know them more than I do. Oh, I do know them. You know them more than my Rothschild. Who was he? Nathaniel. They were an insanely wealthy family. Where'd they get their money? Well, they were in banking. Okay. When Jews were forced into banking. You know what? So what? We're in banking. Oh, they were in the banks.

We couldn't do anything else other than loan money. I know. So it's like, what do you want us to do? Not do that? Well, and they started, you know, they started to get popular Jews banks. No, Rothschilds. Oh, yeah. When they were, you know, they, there was like five of them. And they each, either the father was like, there was, they were like, you'll go here. You'll go here. You'll go here. What different parts of the world? Uh, yes, different parts of Europe. And they, you know, the, they kind of famously, I think bankrolled both sides, unless I'm completely wrong, but I don't think I am. They bankrolled both sides of a war and it was France and England, maybe. That's what they do. That's what politics does now with business. They're just like buying both out.

It's just a smart thing to do. But supposedly they're trillionaires, but they're not both sides. So whoever wins owes you tons more. Yeah. Now supposedly they have a vast amount of wealth, but I don't know. I'm cobbling this together. I mean, they don't want everything out there. Yeah. They do not like stuff that's out there. That's a capital T. They're not like the cart. Like there's no show on the E network called the Roth child. They're not doing like a boss show. No, they're not, they're not on a million dollar listing. They're on squid games. They're on squid. They want to keep it low and keep it quiet. What's the benefit of being known? None. Fame as many negatives. Money has very few.

Yeah. Yeah. So they're smart. I know somebody who knows one of them. Well, who's a Roth child Bethany Roth child? No, there's a kid I know is a rich kid in New York City went to school with a Roth child. There's Nathaniel. There's Doroth child too. What's that? That's the French version. So they just made so much money and now they just run shit. They choose laws and stuff. There's all these conspiracies that they like kind of own all all of the companies quietly. Yeah, but that's not true. They probably have a piece of it or it'd be like a Harvey Weinstein thing. It's like, we don't do every every movie. But when he was at his peak, but like, don't fuck us or you'll be out of business. This should be good for the YouTube algorithm. A lot

of Roth child talk. Watch. I should feel you on YouTube right now. I should feel you on YouTube right now. Do you talk about the Roth child at all? No, not that. I don't know anything about it. I don't know anything about them. Well, I'm finding out right now. I'll go back and re-edit. They're a big fucking deal. The thing is with them. So it's not like they're they're helping other Jews. I don't like at the Illuminati table. Can you get up, gas digital producer, get up, Lord Jacob, the Roth child confronted outside of the Metropolitan Club. I want you to watch this guy. He's kind of a lizard guy. Okay. And he's confronted outside of this exclusive. Let them know who he was mistake. Yeah. Exclusive elite club called the Metropolitan Club started

by J.P. Morgan. Not Jewish. Right. Okay. And he's coming out of an event and they kind of confront him. Wait, so he was with J.P. Morgan? No, J.P. Morgan's long dead. This was like recently. J.P. Morgan, the bank that just dropped Kanye Roth child is a member of this J.P. Morgan's club. Well, they all tied. It's all tied in though. It's all tied in. Well, no, now you're you're being facetious. Do you if you found anything? He's got to turn on the monitor until I made him turn it off. Right. Oh yeah. Why did you do that? It's distracting. I agree with it. I hate it. But if we don't see some, we got to watch this Roth child get his come up. Wait, what? Somebody threw something in his face. Well, here's what happened. No, someone went up to him and goes,

what are you doing with, you know, with J.P. Morgan? No, stop with J.P. Morgan. You're getting so confused. You're doing this. Oh my God. See? We are waking up to the robber barons and the big banksters who are looting this economy with the federal reserve. Where's bodyguards? Well, the new world order has no legitimacy and that we as a people are not afraid and we are waking up to the robber barons and the big banksters who are looting this economy with the federal reserve. Do you have a couple minutes for us, Mr. Rothschild? We have a few additional questions. Where's bodyguards? I kind of like him. He's standing there taking it. Are you nuts? All the This is a fucking garbage truck there. That was started by your family.

That is convenient. Convenient. I'm sure I was offside earlier. His accent is from a country that doesn't exist. It's a country somewhere between Normandy. I'm a Norman. Dude. Yeah, yes, yeah. But do you see what I mean? Where's bodyguards? How cool is he? He's a real life lizard villain. But maybe not. Maybe. When I met the owners of the UFC who were fucking penny stocks compared to this guy, right? I got a little bit scared because I was like, you could have me disappeared. Yeah. Not that you wanted to, but the fact that I'm dealing with someone who easily could and not face any repercussions. Well, Rogan could have us disappeared to Rogan could have us killed sort of with his money. He can't. He couldn't have us killed.

He doesn't have the influence these guys have, but he could call someone. He could call someone. He would know who to call that could do it. Yeah. But now that's a chain with us for money. This guy could, however that's talking to that guy, he's like, we're not scared of you. I want to be like, you should be scared of him. No, he could vaporize. He's looking at him go, do I want to? Do I want to eat your soul? Oh, no, no, no. How do you think I've lived to 200? It's just not true. It's live stem cells. But that's kind of what their deal is. They run shit. You know who's married to one of them? Whitney Cummings. Nicky Hilton. Really? Yes. Get up, Nicky Hilton's husband.

I don't get wealthy, married, wealthy. Yeah, of course. Who are they going to marry? Pass it around, marry a fucking slob. Of course they're going to marry. Marry a slobber baron. Marry a slobber baron. She's married to one of the Rothschilds. He can't be. Maybe he's good looking. Maybe he's good looking. I think he's hot. I think. I'm not sure. Because they probably, yeah, because their, their offering will be good looking. Let's get a nice photo of them. And he's Jewish. Looks like Harry Styles. He's a piece. I'll trust you on this one. A little unbred. He's a little inbred. Yeah. He's got the vampire ears and verapire nose.

He's, he's in. That's who they, that's who the Jewish bankers were in, uh, in Harry Potter. The Gringots. Yeah. Pull them up. It's similar. Pull up the Gringot bankers. Go face to face, facing each other. And were you offended at that? I mean, no, but I could tell what it was. It's pretty fucking obvious. And they're like, don't, uh, go, uh, ears. Just make it ears. That's what he did in Star Trek. Make it, make it ears. The, the, yeah. No, no, no. Isn't the way forward to kill them all. He's just going to give them a loan off to die. They didn't do anything wrong. They just had a bank. He killed them all. Hey, he killed them all. He blew up the whole fucking thing. Oh, Harry Potter. Yeah, they didn't

do anything. They had to go. Now listen, don't you think? Such a good assider. Now listen, don't you think we get over all this stuff by forgetting about the Holocaust? We stopped talking about it. It's enough already. Stop at the museums. It's very depressing. Don't you think we just move on forward? That's a tough one. I tell you what, if my special gets to 20 million views, right? Then sure. Don't you think it's just depressing? It's never ending with it. I wish they would focus on the paws of Judaism, not the fucking negative. Well, this is what I mean. I mean, do we have to constantly with the museums and the, and I mean, I mean, come on, Jesus, that's a Rothschild. I mean, wow. Oh my God. Oh my God. Does this episode stay up for an hour?

Even? Who owns YouTube? Yeah. I don't know. John Yu from China and Jimmy Tube. I don't even know, but we're just having fun comedians having fun. We don't mean anything. Rothschild's all respect to the higher power. It's hard. It's hard to talk about these things because. They say you can't make fun of Jerusalem. You can. We're doing it. Yeah, we're doing it. But you have one here to do it. You didn't do this last week with Bobby Kelly. I did not. I did not. Yeah. Offstage, though, soon as the camera. We argued about if lakes or oceans were better. What? Fucking dimwit. What a half way. I don't know. We've all been talking for, you know, a million years and what a podcast going to die already. They will die. I think as soon as

the celebrities invade them and they're going to invade them. We thought it would be any moment. The one guy tried, but then he killed somebody up close. So that didn't work. It'll, it'll get to what some will stick around. But then I think a lot of it's just there's no next thing yet. Right. And people always need to always be podcasters. Always somebody's always going to be commuting or on a treadmill or watching something they like. But what podcasts never became is movies. Nope. Or TV shows that tried for a while to try making a TV shows. Yeah, it's just my podcast, but a TV show. People like Stern did. It was just bonus features. So what it what it will be is when I think people, when there's a next cool thing, cause young kids are on Twitch. Right. We're not

on Twitch. They're live streaming. Fuck. We're fucked. The young kids. We're not fucked. It's just, that's their thing. They, they live stream and that's what they do. Can they get boners anymore? No, because they're all on SSRIs. Yeah. I would sell my podcast to the Rothschilds. Yeah. And would you keep it going and be like, just deliver our message? Yes. Let's practice. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show brought to you by the Rothschilds. Oh, it's that on the level. I said that on the level. Oh, it's signage. Oh, okay. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome. I haven't fucking, no, I was in Salt Lake and it dried up my face. Everyone's gonna think I'm like doing signals, but my face is like fucking my skin's falling off.

But ladies and gentlemen, blah, blah, blah, brought to you by the Rothschilds. And then we would be like, I just like, pay your fucking bills, peasants. Pay your bills. It's important. These landlords get by. It's a circle down effect. Pay the bills. It's, it's the landlord is good. Yeah. He keeps the neighborhoods from crumbling. The landlord knows whether you should live in the apartment or not. Don't question him. If, if the gas is off, it's for a reason. Maybe you shouldn't have an infant in the unit. Stop whining about the prices of everything. Just go out and buy it. Just buy. Just consume. Thank you. This podcast has been brought to you by the Rothschilds.

Thank you Rothschilds for bringing us everything good in the world. Progress. Yeah, man. I don't know. It's like the way I look at the world, I just say, you know, can you just not give a fuck? Isn't that a possible? All these people, Black Lives Matter, the juice thing, Ukraine, a fucking Afghanistan. Is that a new tattoo? Yeah, I got an Ecuador. What is it? It's a flower that's in the jungle a lot. What kind of flower? Elecunia. Elecunia. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, it's like, it looks like lobster claws. I loved it. Every time I saw it, I loved it. I was walking around

there with a machete. He wants trying to get him and this, and I walked too far away from the jungle and two into like civilization. What I like about you is when you get canceled, you flee the country. I wanted to flee anyway. Delta was going up again. I was like, sweet, get a hire. I'm going to Peru. When you get canceled, you are like in a third world country, literally hacking through the jungle. I could be having a good time. I remember when January 6th happened, I'll praise the heroes. They, uh, they, they were like, it's the end of democracy. And I was like, fuck, yes. Yeah. And people were like, that's not our take on it. I'm like, no. What do you like so much about slumming around the third world like a savage?

You get to zoophile people. You get to look at them as lesser than you and be around them. Because you go to like safari of sorts. You go to like a yurt. Yeah. Yeah. You'll stay in a goddamn yurt with like weird freaks. I take a $50 bill with him. I let him all see it. I'm like, this is, this is a change of fucking year. You really, you'll go to like Malaysia. I have not been in Malaysia. I've been all around Malaysia, Indonesia, East Timor. It's the same. Come on. Cambodia. You go there and what do you tell them? Do you tell them you got canceled? I've never got to. They wouldn't understand what that is. People are mad at me. They're like, why did you not basket weave today? Yeah. I'm like, nah. They know Kobe Bryant is.

I think you'd be able to explain it. Like this guy didn't pass much. He was a really big, he was sixth best Laker of all time. When you come back to America. Yeah. What are those experiences make you feel about our country? Do you feel anything? Legit. The toilet paper, it blows my mind. Right. Get back here. I, I, I take that for granted until I get back here from the fucking horrors of, of foreign toilets. So when you get back to America, are you like, we're the shit or no? It's just overcrowded. There are definitely some nice things. The toilet paper is not a joke. It's a joke, but it's not a joke. You wipe and you're like, Oh yeah, forgot about this. We have great like everything everywhere, but also it's like,

it's a bit much and impersonal. You tell Justin hello because we have the same agent. Yeah. He hates it. I leave. Do you ever tell him when you're leaving? I told him last time when I left for like three, three, four months. What did he say? He's like, no, no, no, come on, come on, come on, come on. How about, can I get your gig out there? Other gigs in East Timor. He's a good agent. Right. He keeps, he keeps doing you. And his wife is gorgeous. Oh, she's the best. Have you seen his wife? Yeah. She's like gorgeous and great. Yeah. She stays in shape by not having any seconds. And she says like, y'all. And when a woman says y'all, it's good cause you know, you're waking up to eggs and she's not screaming about Sylvia

Plath. Even you can get a boner for that. For sure. Yeah. He tries to talk me out of it, but it's like, you gotta live your life. Duncan said this to me once I was fighting with Comedy Central. I was like, I want to go see the world. And, but they're fucking yapping happy. They're like, we're going to be mad at you if you go away. And he goes, Ari, you want to see the world and some business that's owned by fucking Viacom wants you to not see the world. So what's the argument even? Well, the argument is that make more money. You have a, I mean, if the Rothschilds thought like that, I'm not looking to be that if the Rothschilds thought like you, where the hell would we be? Where would everybody be? Where would anyone? What about the benefits they've given us?

Society they've given us. What do you think about Jeffrey Epstein and the massage? It just, as we wind it down, can you give a quick link between the two? The massage and Jeffrey Epstein and the honeypot and the blackmail and I pack in Israel and the mega group and the Brompton family. I know the honeypot. You know more terms than I do about the wealthy. We converge on Jews and wealth. You love old wealth and we are that, but I don't know what day to day like you honeypot means you get stuck in it. You come and you fuck somebody you shouldn't. We photograph and you and video you and then we blackmail you. You're right. Smart. Everybody was a massage operation. Killing Harvey Weinstein. Are you in the massage? You know, I got a call after, uh, yeah, from the

Israeli like intelligence agency after the massage. There's a writer pretend not to know the name named Ariel Shafir and he writes for Seth Rogen. So every time there's like, he does something like get some calls or congratulations. And after he did the thing with Korea, my parents got called at home from the Mossad. And so we need to talk to your son. And they were like, it's not him. And they're like, ma'am, we need to talk to your son. Wow. That's how unintelligent they are. I can't believe that. I cannot believe the massage. It's unintelligent. I think it was the Israeli intelligence agency and not the Mossad. Well, then maybe the armed wing. They always got the Holocaust guys though. They always got the Nazis, the ones that live

in Argentina live in the good life. They just get a bag over their head one day and like, what the fuck massage is so good at what they do. They're the best. They're the best. They kill it. They kill it. Literally. Yes. Any parting words about Jews or the Holocaust or the Rothschild Don't focus on the negatives in the past. Focus on the good things. I can focus on this. You go fuck yourself. You're born store bought. You need the fucking handmade. The handmade 30 bucks a box. I do actually need that. Yeah, I'll get you that in pace. What about lavash? It's like Matzah. I support Jewish calories. I love them. Yeah, I love smoked fish. I love the whitefish salad. Yeah, I love it all.

A pastrami with with with chopped liver, a doublet, kind of both