The Tim Dillon Show - 332 - Dad Shot Someone

Episode Date: January 22, 2023

Tim explains a recent tipping experience with a local Starbucks worker, Tim also rants on Putin’s new war winning strategy to send drug addicts to fight in the the Ukraine war, he also talks about how Alec Baldwin serves breakfast to his family of 7 kids and how robots could take over the podcasting business in the future. Bonus episodes every week:  https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow See Tim Live on the road: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack Bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow Netflix special: https://www.netflix.com/watch/81616382 SPONSORS: HelloFresh: Go to HelloFresh.com/timd21 and use code timd21 for FREE meals plus shipping! Helix: Helix is offering up to 200$ off all mattress orders AND two free pillows to our listeners! Go to helixsleep.com/timd Babbel Right now, get up to 55% off when you go to babbel.com/tim Babbel... Language for life. Shipstation: Get a 60-day trial at https://www.shipstation.com/timdillon. Thanks to shipstation for sponsoring the show! ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim Dillon show. We are here very exciting. I just tipped a woman $41 in Starbucks Remember that Bruce Springsteen song 41 shots that he did when Amadou Diallo was shot by the police 41 shots all of Bruce's fans. I was at his concert once I don't know 99 2000 something and all of the Long Island fans and pretty much everyone They all went for like a cigarette during that song because that was the big like hey The cops should stop shooting black people song and as soon as he was like 41 shot Everybody's like let's go get a beer and then they came back when it was you know born in the USA or something

They didn't understand But I tried and the reason was I gave her a $15, but I'm not saying I'm a good person I don't do this a lot, but I do I do tip people well But and I don't do crazy stuff like I'm not you know I'm not the you know David Dobrik used to go and give people Lamborghinis and stuff and You know somebody was in it was mired and dad and he was like here's a car. You don't know how to drive and It's worth more than you know, it's like the craziest thing, but youtubers do it all the time They're like hey today. I'm gonna give my parents money, you know, they would go like here with mom and dad

I paid off your house and the mom would cry I've never done that I'm not doing that. I'm not what am I gonna do by the mental institution that my mother lives in I'm gonna go back to the lunatic asylum that she's in and go surprise mom guess what I did I bought the mental institution that you live in what you know this place. I bought it I got in bed with a shady healthcare company. We're taking money from the government We're doing some Medicare fraud, but the good news is you get a slightly bigger room. I Mean no, so there's no what am I gonna do? She's in she's in the clink. I Didn't you know, I didn't design her brain, but it's malfunctioned

And so I never and my father is doing fine. I love him. We speak he's doing great He doesn't need anything these people on Long Island don't need anything him and his wife have a lovely life They drink wine they have dogs they walk they boat they it's good It's good. If I showed up and paid off their mortgage. They'd be angry with me They'd think it was some kind of scam. They'd be like, who do you think you are? How did you get our information like? No, but you can't do anything good for anyone where I'm from in Long Island. It doesn't work It only puts you at odds with them long term So this woman who is a portly a larger woman, which now that I'm working with a trainer

I've worked with a trainer for two days and I'm on the my fitness, you know the fitness pal It's not always a pal because it'll tell you some hard truths But you put you put the thing, you know if you eat a if you breathe you have to put it in two breaths And it calculates, you know shitting, you know, you go shit shit, you know, whatever it is You don't do that But you put in if you eat like a churro you have to put it You know churro and you have to and then it tells it but it tabulates and then you have less and less at the end of the day And then the goal is to be all zeros like your calorie allotment your macros your fat your carbs your protein

is all whatever in in line and and uh, I so What I realize now is weight is an issue of class Kind of meaning that There are people that are overweight because they they just don't have access to the same type of food That other people do now. This is obviously a little abused right as a as an as a People this is a little bit of a crutch Everybody can find a carrot But not everybody's gonna eat a carrot and you can't live on carrots

So my point is when I see somebody working their ass off and she's a big woman I'm You know, I feel like let me give her Money so that she can Do something good for herself Or for her family or whatever and I'm not again. I'm not this isn't I'm trying to be a good person here. I'm just saying And the reason it happened was because she didn't have change for the 50 and she goes do you want to use a

Do you want to use a credit card or apple pay a friend of mine who was in the store at me We're in the coffee bean and I said, well, no, I said, why don't you just keep it? And this woman was so horrified By that by the idea of that she thought it was like a some type of she goes no No, I can no I said I want you to keep the money. She goes no, it's eight dollars. You know It's too much. I said no you do something nice You do something nice for yourself

With it and then she she somehow makes change and then puts the change in the tip cup because take your money and I'm like No, and I'm wondering is she like an addict. Can she not have cash? Is there like a reason she doesn't have cash? Is she gonna take 40 dollars right now and go buy Something she shouldn't have a rock. I don't know what she's gonna do right like she was so terrified by that And in los angeles displays of kindness are so incredibly rare that I understand So I told her I was like I I was a tour guide on a double decker bus I used to rely on tips and no and a lot of people didn't tip

And there was a black guy in the thing and he was like you a tour guide You a tour manager and I was like no, I was a Guide I would show people the buildings. He's like damn and I was like he was so he's a cool guy And then he's like, what do you do now? I'm like, I'm a comedian. He's like you a comedian and then we looked up So then you feel like a piece of shit and then we looked up the netflix special And she's like I'm gonna watch it the good deeds over it's been completely washed away Now by like there's people in there going what is wrong with this man So people that go see me go this guy this guy is harassing people to watch his fucking

Netflix special at the coffee bean all I tried to do is quietly give this woman 40 dollars for her to go buy drugs And she didn't do it But that's what I mean about the pitfalls of uh being nice I'm doing a lot. I do a lot of shows in LA and they've been a lot of fun And we've been talking about the ukraine a lot on the podcast and on the show And a lot of people have told me they said well you seem pretty uh You seem pretty like anti ukraine and I'm not anti ukraine. I'm anti Taking the american war machine's word for it about any conflict anywhere in the world

And if you were not an idiot you would be too. I feel horrible for the people of ukraine. We had a kid on Uh a comedian on when this first thing when this started, you know, uh seven eight months ago 10 months ago And we had him on and you know, it was uh incredibly sad what they're going through. I don't think anybody Is happy about that. I've been somebody that wants that to end. I don't want nuclear holocaust I don't want a war that destroys all of ukraine. I don't want any of that. I I don't know what's gonna happen. I I hope that you know, I've always hoped that that russia would say okay We're done, but it doesn't seem like that's a realistic with russia's current leadership In fact, they they keep mobilizing people

They're calling up more troops. The attacks are getting worse and worse and worse So and when the american war machine goes will support ukraine no matter what no matter how long wink it means they want a 30 year cold war That will just destroy russia and bleed russia out and make people hear a lot of money instead of Forcing some type of agreement Um or even trying for some type of agreement Um, so again, it's not and again. I'm not you don't absolve russia. They invaded the ukraine. They invaded a sovereign country Wars are never good wars are never about

You know one thing Usually they're more complex and what bothers me is the narrative that everybody is fed all the time In this country is like good evil Right wrong There's and here's the line And if you even go, well, why is that that you're like, yeah with that it's not It's not realistic Uh that people are not gonna have questions

You're not gonna go wait wait wait. What the fuck's going on explain to me what's going on I just want to know what's going on So i'm gonna play a a battle right now and this is something i'm rarely serious on the show But i'm gonna be serious right now Because this is disturbing to me There's carnage going on in the ukraine right now. There's carnage and It's something and i'm actually texting an attorney. I don't even know if we can play this. This is footage

that I got from Uh a person on the front lines That's footage that I got from a person on the front lines and um It's it's one of those things where I'm worried as a broadcaster because if I play this footage

And it alters the course of the war or something happens And I but this is literally this has not been seen on the media This is Footage from the front lines Sent to me From what's going on in russia in the ukraine right now. I'm dead serious. I just got the okay from my attorney I'm telling you right now if you have children in the room. This is not for them But as adults we all have to understand the stakes and what's going on play it

Oh I don't know it's hard to watch that And I don't know which side Admittedly because they all look so similar. I don't know which side is is wylin But russia or the ukraine someone was wylin and then someone Came in and then fixed that but what i'm saying here is that the war is a problem, okay? And we need to figure out a solution If we're going to keep seeing scenes like that

I mean it's crazy They would and where we are the the united states is sending in the equipment They're sending in the waffle irons They're sending in the coffee burner. They're sending in the griddles to make the hash browns smarter than covered They're they're sending in the machinery of death So that this war can go on That wasn't that wasn't the ukraine it was a waffle house See that's

They don't have waffle houses in the ukraine Otherwise things would be peaceful for 21 free meals plus um, but Putin is a new plan He's calling up these drug addicts and this is by the way I am a big fan of this as an idea because i've been a drug addict many would say I still am My addictions and compulsions come out with food and cigarettes and all kinds of things and I try to keep them I try to keep them down and choose the light But drug addicts can be very useful Um, they don't have anything to live for this is what's good about a drug addict in a war

They have nothing to live for if you are in the depths of drug And by the way, if you're in the depths of drug addiction, don't use this as some excuse to do something heinous You know what i'm saying clean yourselves up But i'm saying if you're really in the depths of a drug addiction, you really don't have anything to live for You don't care about anything else except the drug. So those people are bodies that can be thrown at a conflict Let's do a close-up russia sends drug addicts To war uh to mobilization uh numbers here now close up on these guys These are the guys

That I think may turn the tide Go all the way to the right. Look at this guy. He's Look the little guy is great Rogan is fighting with him, but no to the right go all the way to this guy He's He that guy is drunk Right now He's hammered right now

And I like the look of this. This is a motley crew You know what reminds me of the sandlot Remember the movie the sandlot where you'd have a bunch of you know, it's like neighborhood kids And there are like a scraggly rat pack of you got the fat kid and the ginger and the skinny kid and the wimp And then everybody's gonna come together at the end And and kill people in the ukraine that I think is this because it's a motley crew of Junkies and drug addicts and people that are in russian prisons for stealing and stuff

And what putin has said is you have a chance to regain your glory By going to the ukraine and fighting and I think it's a thought like it's a We know everything, you know, we this is we don't want a war. We don't want a war to happen But if it gives russian Convicts and drug addicts a purpose It's not it's not all for naught like we want, you know, and if you look at these men, they just seem ready They seem ready to go

They seem ready to go. They seem excited And they're ready to go. Let's read a little bit of this article to see So ukrainian intelligence believes that russian president putin is preparing to announce another wave of mobilization and here's the thing All of these things are war propaganda from both sides. We don't know what's true, but that's the fun Russia is sending drug addicts to war in an effort to meet its mobilization quota The information about the massive mobilization of drug addicts was It's amazing like these drug addicts like they're just The information about the massive wave of drug addicts was confirmed by one of the russian soldiers who surrendered to the resistance movement

According to him, he was not cured of addiction and continues to use drugs while fighting and I'm not even going to try to pronounce it Zafrazia The man took the drugs with him as medicine. Well, why would you stop drugs in the ukrainian war? Could there be less of a reason to get sober than fighting a war in the ukraine? And so I don't know where they're finding these drug addicts. Where are they getting them? Are they just getting them off the street? Are they going into the schools? Convicts offered a ratio of criminal records if they serve. Here we go

To leverage people into enlisting the kremlin has weaved leniency into Longstanding legislation meaning like they're getting a little desperate now. They're like, let's get the criminals Let's get the junkies and bring them over Yeah I think that's a good idea I think it's a good idea. You have a bunch of Is that the azov battalion's fucking uniforms? They look sick as fuck Dude how sick

That's what they're fighting in in beanies like that Is this war even happening is this a wag the dog? No, I think it is happening, but I will say that You know, I feel like we're in the end of it now, I feel like we're it's kind of like avatar in a third hour I was like wrap it up like I feel like we're getting to that point with it now where it's like, you know Where people are kind of like, hey Yeah Too much cinnamon go get that money back. Um

Elizabeth Holmes by the way, did you hear this you expect now? Elizabeth Holmes is this bitch Who was selling these fake blood e-meters to diabetics because she had all these people invested in uh This theranos company, you know bad blood is the book and the movie and all that stuff And basically if she got sentenced and she then tried to flee to mexico She tried to flee after conviction I mean, I mean, it's the woman See if she first of all she only got 11 years. It's not a lot. I've talked about this before This is not enough to dissuade anybody from doing this

She was giving people fake blood tests Didn't work Giving people a test where they'd go. I think I'm okay I mean, that's the human cost of this They give her 11 years in jail and the bitch Wants to go to mexico She tries to flee

And I guess they catch her I mean, it's like Listen to this The government here we go Prosecutors said in a filing that Holmes legal defense had argued that she had a flawless pretrial record But does not mention her quote attempt to flee They said the government learned on january 23rd 2022 that Holmes booked a one-way flight to mexico

Scheduled for january 26th But a return flight was not scheduled. Well, I do that a lot you book one. You don't know when you're coming back The government then mentioned the trip to Holmes's defense attorney and the flight was canceled after that She was probably just trying to go see mexico She's probably just trying to go Get her margaritas on and see The beautiful ancient mayan ruins

And yet she's accused of Flink she's surrendering herself To custody on april 27th, we hope Or she'll flee again, elizabeth holmes. We've got our eyes on you I read that book with uh, you know with the Look at her. She's she's just She's one of those people she thought it would work

You know some of these people they really think the thing, you know Because everybody's told this horseshit when they grow up That like you can believe you're like just believe believe And then that you know Can lead to good things where people are like I lost 10 pounds, you know and then Whatever, you know, but then believe could be you just start selling fake blood tests to diabetics. That's also and you go Just believe it'll work

believe And she you know, she constantly looks like she's in some kind of catatonic state Like she's not fully with us on planet earth. Like she's just kind of glazed over Elizabeth holmes. She's yeah, there's a glaze to her. Look at that. There's a glaze to her. She's not fully here She's not fully here. She's there's something she's somewhere else Listening to the song, you know, we were we were at the improv the other night And a woman came busking in the green room and started telling trevor was about his higher self And she's like she goes your higher self is the girl and your she goes your higher self came to me during the

I think she goes i'm a i'm a whatever and i'm a spiritual whatever they call themselves and she says i'm sitting here on your higher self um came to me and said That your soulmate was the girl from the joke where you have some joke about a girl making fun of you for eating carrot cake And she goes your higher self came to me and said that that is your soulmate And then trevor wallace was like okay and trevor wallace actually is dating that girl now. So it was kind of weird, you know And then I was like did my higher self say anything about the ukraine? To you because I talked a little bit about that

Did my higher self get involved one of the most exciting thing five percent off your subscription babble language for life Are I like gretta thunberg now and I'll tell you it's been a while Since I've checked in on her what I like about hers in the beginning like gretta thunberg was just kind of like You know you kind of like annoying environmental like I don't want to go to school And you you better start using brown toilet paper and planes are gross, you know But now she's evolved into this joker type character Who I think wants to just blow things up like a real eco terrorist And I think she just wants to like burn things down and strike fear into the hearts of men

Which I kind of like even though this is all set up the germans Here's the thing with the germans when you make soap out of a race of people You really have to do a lot On the back nine to make up for that So what they do all the time is they really just let left wing lunatics do a lot of crazy shit because Most people in germ a lot of people in germany are nazis and it wouldn't take much for them to be nazis again Like if they knew there was a pathway for them to go right back to being nazis They would be nazis because that was a period of german greatness

Truly and I don't mean it was good. It was bad. But to the to german nationalists. That was their Era right So what the german government tries to do is they try to like they go the other way Where they let they let all the migrants in and some of them some of them are gonna goose you on new years enough Well, you know don't complain that turkish guy grabbed your tent. We made soap out of people You got to let this stuff happen. The turkish guy got a little handsy in the mart. Sorry We made soap out of people. We got to let this shit happen. So that's really what it is truly That's the drug they go on the they're a little bit. Yeah, and they have some weird s&m stuff

You know, they they like they they they they tie businessmen and stuff to tables and they shit on glass and they jerk off under it They're in the blood and piss playing stuff and it's all very deep repressed kind of but but some kind of cool in a way And they have these raves and underground tunnels in berlin. So gretta thunberg Is being detained at this protest and and and the german police They've kind of set this up because the police are told obviously we can't Hurt gretta thunberg She seems kind of german right the name thunberg. It seems a little like They're like listen

We have to deal with her But we're going to arrest her and they're saying of course that it is not like a um it that it wasn't stagecraft like it was real but You know It's fake because they've caught video. There's video Of the cops and gretta kind of having but by the way i've been arrested And i've had cops be kind of friendly to me and i've said a funny thing And they've laughed at it and that wasn't a fake arrest

But there's video supposedly of gretta being arrested and she's she's it's kind of like A cuter act like this is cute She's smiling it's kind of like the the media is there Everybody knows everybody knows what you know she's Doing what they should have done is like If they wanted to look she's standing there. She knows How this is all gonna go this is all you know like programmed ahead of time and

What they should have done is they should have choreographed it where she's thrown to the ground And they put their boots on her and they they rip her hands behind her back and carry her out Like you ever see the scene in the casino where pesh. She's like open the door with his head Like that that should have been the way they took her out just like a like like a battering ram And they shouldn't have hurt her but it would have made it more realistic, you know because they're in those storm trooper Outfits, but yet they're carrying her out like a little baby. So what you're seeing is like nobody's satisfied by this You know, I would if I was directing this which someone is I'd be like more struggle gretta honey struggle

Get her on the ground We're gonna get her on the ground then you guys put the boots on her. We want to see you struggle on the ground We're gonna snap the arms back behind you. We're gonna pick you up You're gonna be screaming Okay, maybe a muzzle. Should she bite? Should she spit? Okay, we take two gretta It's it's not gonna be biting honey, but it's gonna be spit

You're gonna spit at them are stunk and duck. Yes. Yes. That's a good idea So when you spit at him, you're spitting at him. He's going to maybe Smack you light like a like a mime smack kind of smack and then once you've spit It'll then it gives them The direction where now they're going to have to muzzle you you understand because in this scene honey honey, are you with us today? Okay, we just got to focus. We're losing light. We're shooting and we're losing light So here's what in this scene You're very very angry

Because what are they even protesting? What are they protesting here? The gretta thunberg Oh a coal mine. So honey in this scene your your your girl From the you know, whatever What is she dutch? Denmark, swedish Gretta, you're a swedish girl and you're famous and you hate the coal mine

Because this coal mine makes the air black and when you breathe in you don't get the sweet air You get just the tar of the coal and you don't like that And you're very angry and you see these cops and the cops come in and they represent everything that is wrong Patriarchy militarism capitalism and they come in with their their big batons these phallic symbols But you you see you gretta you stand there and you kind of stand your ground And they're going to take you into custody the young girl protecting us all saving us from ourselves Now when they take you into custody you have to struggle you have to fight a little bit Because they're going to eventually muzzle you you spit at one of them and then they come in and they muzzle you

And then we can see how sure but I think what happened was then they got notes This is what happens sometimes when you're in a production and somebody goes here's the reality the studio feels That this needs to be it needs to feel more symbolic We don't want to see gretta roughed up. We don't want to see her spitting and we don't want to see her put in a muzzle We've really decided that the move here is just to carry her out kind of respectfully We don't want to walk her out because that seems too easy So we do want the shot of them carrying her but we're going to nix the spitting and the muzzle Okay, okay grata change the plans honey. You can go to craft services get her a juice

No spitting no muzzle no struggle on the ground They are going to lift you up and they are going to take you out as they're taking you out You do a light smile because you're smiling because all of your ideas about the world Have been made real by these scary men that are taking you you understand that and this is how in five years We can take everybody's car Yes, that's the goal. This is how in five years we take everyone's car So we just want to get this perfect ready and action and that's what they do. It's a production But you know, I would have said make it a little more rough, but apparently

Somebody came in and said, you know because germany's trying to they're trying to emerge as the moral leader of europe Which is tough to do When you have the past that they do So what you're seeing happen is they're trying to be very delicate and handle these situations very artfully And I think they did a decent enough job with this one. I like Greta I like her because you know, everyone's got a part to play in this world Everybody does and and she's doing it. Well, it's not academy award yet yet

Nobody starts out robert patinson They start out as one of these idiots on the coparki and then they if they're good they get to that Use promo code tim dillon today at shipstation.com to sign up for your free 60 day trial. That's ship station dot com promo code Tim dillon friend and this is you know, a sad story. We don't love this alec baldwin Was a friend of the show and was very kind to us. He had me on his podcast and he's a You know, he's a he's a real star, you know, and he's again, he's done There's some things he's done that you know, obviously you wouldn't cosign the shooting of the lady

Um, but we don't do he do it on purpose. It seems weird that he would do it on purpose, right? So they're trying him for involuntary um Man slaughter. I love this alec baldwin charge pr expert says star on hollywood blacklist It's like what about the involuntary manslaughter charge. Isn't that more important? So he won't do the trump impression this year. It's like on snl. It's like what about the involuntary manslaughter But it's weird because this is how I understand it alec baldwin gets to the set um I don't know why there's a real bullet in this gun. It seems weird

alec baldwin, uh, the person who put the bullet in the gun is also being charged and I believe Within voluntary manslaughter this costume designer or this props manager I was just on a thing where we had props. I was on this film And maybe my scenes in it will see And um, you would go and we'd get props and then the props would You know You would you would go and they would put the I can't talk about it So I can't tell you what the props were but you get the props in the beginning of the day

You would deprop at the end of the day you would give them their props and nobody shot anybody in the face now So this so that okay, so alec baldwin and the armorer they call her the armorer Well, that's a creepy but the armorer will be charged Uh with the same thing which is the involuntary manslaughter after fatal shooting of halnia hutchins on the set of rust the movie here and um, okay, so that woman's name is hannah

Gutierrez read she's the film's armorer And each will be charged with two counts Of involuntary manslaughter play that up there. I wonder what that is. He's reacting to this. He's unhappy. I don't know if this is him reacting, but this is this is the chaotic moments after the shooting of rust so after alec baldwin has shot this woman This is a Oh

This is an ad. Okay. It's an ad Motherfucker the ad fooled me. I thought we were getting rickrolled. Yeah But here so we have We have this is footage right after right now does alec in this seem he seems distressed He's a he's not He's unhappy with this I would hope like this this thing is like he's not happy. So this is right after we have volume on this Or

Okay, well, he does seem he does seem remarkably composed After it doesn't seem like the greatest doesn't seem like the greatest, you know I was there in rehearsal. I was asking myself Um, but I met him and I I do not believe he did this on purpose. So I don't know I you know I from From what I believe but I also don't believe to be fair is fair I want to be fair here and maybe he'll call me and scream at me after this But like I I feel like he's a person that maybe he doesn't have as much empathy as he should

He may lack a little bit of empathy and I think part of that is because being in the in the system for as long as he's been in it He may not have the empathy or he may just not show the empathy like I don't when I met him I felt like number one. He didn't do it on purpose because why would he do it? But number two Was he keeping him up at night? I don't know if he was keeping him up at night. I think he slept soundly I think I think he was sleeping soundly And I and I not again not that I'm saying that somebody should go to jail for sleeping soundly But it's come off a little bit like I don't know that there's been the requisite amount of Miacopa after shooting someone in the eye and um

Yeah, it's his composure that that's the thing. It's there's no like. Oh my god. Is she okay? How did this happen? I can't believe I shot someone and she fell to the ground It's more like earlier in rehearsal. I was saying to myself How could I ever how could you ever would anyone believe I would just shoot this woman and she'd fall to the ground But these are actors and when you are a real actor and I've done this over and over again I'm not going to explain it again, but I will for one minute Repeat myself and go these peep. They're always kind of acting If they're good and he's good

And I just think that he's playing that role and the role is kind of a valet bold when he's playing that role So when he comes across like that I don't know that you know Most people if if somebody told me Hey, I the film that I was just on if somebody told me you just shot someone in the face by mistake I would hope by the way. I would hope I'd be inconsolable like a mother of however many kids like If I killed a prick like you would think I'd be inconsolable

I'd be throwing myself on the floor crying. No my kids. No and how did it happen? Maybe I wouldn't but this is what I'd hope I but but the composure that he has is I think what disturbs People has he reacted to this has Alec Baldwin? Because supposedly he's raging behind the scenes. This is what people are saying. Obviously. We don't know if it's true But he's very angry because I think he was he was gonna have a little comeback I would have loved to do something with him. You know, he called me and You know, he said like maybe there's a sitcom for us. He really even said that which I would have loved to do Listen because everybody's on a black, you know, he shot a woman. I sat next to alex jones

You know, hey, let's all you know, we move on. We do a fun said common everybody, you know, everybody gets over it, but um So he hasn't but his wife has oh hilarious Has and she's doing the spanish accent, but I think she should be allowed to first of all she's under duress I've always supported Her her, uh, you know need to be an erase she wants. What is she saying now? We by the way, we support Okay I want you guys to realize that we have seven kids

and you being here to Escort them to school and to be there when they come home is not good So on a human lap, they have seven Children is not good They have seven kids He never stopped having kids. It's like Imagine having to explain this

To seven children One child it would be hard seven times daddy shot someone at work Seven times daddy shot someone at work waffle daddy shot someone at work waffle daddy shot someone at work Waffle daddy shot someone at work was one of them's a vegan probably sprouts daddy shot someone at work But just the idea of that Such a large fan. I mean god bless god bless him. We're listen We support the baldwins Because he might get out of this somehow and have it. I would love to be a part of like his return

It's a sitcom pictured spacey Baldwin Dylan No Yeah, three pillows for our listeners go to helix sleep.com slash tim d with helix better sleep starts Now Here's the thing. I agree with her. I agree with ilaria That uh, they should let it play out. Uh, you know at the end of the day, this is a tragic thing. A woman has lost her life

Uh, there's going to be a court case about this. It's going to be handled and you know We can't we you know, we stand back here, but I mean, you know, I don't I don't think alex balvin did it on purpose um, do I think that he is You know, maybe his is the way he's talked about has been a little callous and you know people have been maybe Disappointed by that but here's the thing I'll say about alex is that everyone grieves in different ways Everyone grieves in different ways and maybe his way to grieve this woman's death is to be stoic Maybe he's being strong alex might be he might be being strong

And some people go, oh, he doesn't care. He shot that woman. He doesn't care. He only he's only thinking about his career Perhaps but also maybe he's just being strong and Don't we need strength Don't we need it this chat? bot This google chat bot Everybody is up in arms over this google is now calling and help from larry page and sergi brinn

because this chat bot Is getting everybody up in arms last month larry page and sergi brinn google's founders and by the way we got to cover these things because these stories are eventually Going to become your life Whether it affects you now or not. It's going to affect you eventually um So google's founders held several meetings with company executives the topic arrivals new chat bot

A clever ai product that looked as if it could be the first notable threat in decades to google's 149 billion dollar search business Mr. Page and mr. Brinn who had not spent much time at google since they left their daily roles with the company reviewed google's ai product strategy According to a couple of people with knowledge of the meetings who were not allowed to discuss them They approved plans and pitched ideas to put more chat bot features into google's search engine And they offered advice to company leaders who have put ai front and center in their plans The re-engagement of google's founders

um emphasized the urgency Felt among many google executives about artificial intelligence and that chat bot the bot Which was released by the small san francisco company open ai two months ago Amazed users by simply explaining complex concepts and generating ukraine war and generating ideas from scratch More important to google it looked as if it could offer a new way to search for information on the internet So the this chat bot which apparently will ai is going to they they estimate that Some troubling amount of online content 80 or 90 percent something crazy will eventually just be generated by ai even Even shows like this will be replaced by some type of chat bot some type of angry

irish ai because ai can harness but meaningless rage and and you know weave it into Uh some comedic form i imagine so all of these things are coming and what's interesting is where Where when we talk about things like this we're documenting the destruction of the human race And what has happened is google has like wait a minute We're destroying the human race And the need for people to think on their own and then the small company out of san francisco open ai goes actually We are also

Destroying the human race at a pace that may be quicker than you So then what happens and this is how everything gets done in in the world google flips the fuck out they go code red They are destroying the human race at a faster pace than we are fuck We gotta get back in the lab and that's essentially what google is doing, but make no mistake what ai is Artificial intelligence is going to replace human intelligence. This is what people want This is what we'll make things more efficient Uh art is going to come from ai and if t's are already coming from ai all of this stuff, right? Basically uh ai is

Replacing human function at a kind of an alarming rate and it's even scarier When you think about where this eventually goes You know and uh what happens to people Um, yeah, the new ai technology has shaken google out of its routine. They declared a code red And they they now jump starting ai development google now intends to unveil more than 20 new products And demonstrate a version of its search engine with chatbot features this year So google's like fuck it. We're we're in Our chatbot's gonna be better our chatbot will tell you if your kids are trans and it'll tell your kids if they're trans

Our chatbot will get rid of you Quicker than their chatbot will eliminate you. So this is the real debate here It's interesting Mr. Brinn and mr. Page have taken a lot as a fair approach to google But this is scared them When someone else gets ahead this is how all the things in silicon valley happen One person goes i can do it and then another person goes well actually i've already kind of done it And then another person goes fuck and then the fight to make it happen makes it happen

Much quicker so we can start eliminating human beings maybe in a couple of years as opposed to 10 or 15 Like we can really we can really get in there. What is the chat? Let let's look at again what a chatbot is I mean ai we all kind of know what it is. It's artificial Intelligence it's technology that can think and generate ideas I mean somebody explained it to me once so like what if you as a person could read every book ever written instantly? You know these and this is what elan musk talks about all the time he goes If we don't merge with artificial intelligence, we will be defeated By artificial intelligence. This is something that elan musk believes. This is why we have nor link

And that's that's kind of what he's doing with twitter. You know it's kind of interesting He's going if we don't merge with nazis We will become nazis which i like you know he goes We'll be defeated by them if we don't kind of merge with them So we have to kind of let start the merger process But yeah, I mean it's a it's a it's creepy all this stuff But there's nothing

There's nothing about it that can be stopped And there's nothing about it that anybody wants to stop Everybody is basically just like waiting for these people to unveil this new product And we hope and they're just basically hoping that they have Some type of job at the end of this as soon as the chat bot comes out They're hoping the chat bot doesn't destroy their family They're hoping the chat bot Doesn't destroy their job. They're hoping they can still show up monday and somebody doesn't go actually with the chat bot

It's now handling that so that's what they're trying to do. They're basically Just react we're all reacting none of us have any clue And it's not stoppable. Nobody wants to go back in time So we're all just gonna have to figure out how to live with this technology And that's I think what you know a lot of smart people are trying to do And they're trying to say how soon Are we going to need How soon will I be advertising chips on this show that will be implanted in you the shitty chip?

I mean we'll get the shittiest chips We'll get the chips that like, you know They'll be giving them to incels or whoever they think our demo is we will not get the good chips The good chips will be given out. We will get the shitty chips, but they will be something you'll get something out of it and um And that'll be uh, what we do it. Well, we'll have to market this stuff. What do we have a choice? That's a thing You know, I I think we're fully we're fully on board now with the idea that we just don't have a choice and it's kind of interesting The end of humanities. It's it's uh, it's interesting

It's not good and I don't I don't I you know, but Everybody's got to go. I think at some point And I think this is our time. This is our time now to go and we're clamoring for it I mean there is companies That are are going to debut these new products And they're going to compete as to whose products are better and the end goal of these products is to eliminate human beings in most tasks on earth and replace it with Uh automation or or really ai

artificial intelligence so you don't You know, so you don't need the woman who just made me that non-fat decaf latte That woman goes away And it she's replaced by some sort of chatbot So this is something I can I explain I can ask the chatbot something. Yeah, give it a prompt Explain russia and ukraine war in the style of tim dillon. Let's see what it says They're saying that the chatbot is going to replace a lot of white collar workers. You know automation

is fucking The blue collar people but now this will fuck the white collar people Oh my god Listen folks the russia ukraine war is a real mess. It's like a big old game of chess But instead of pawns as people getting killed it started in 2014 when putin decided to flex his muscles and annex Crimea from ukraine That's like if canada decided to take maine. It's not cool But didn't stop there. Oh, no Putin's not one to back down easily

So he starts stirring the pot in eastern ukraine pro russian separatists are protesting and before you know, there's a full blown armed conflict Now I ain't no expert on the matter, but it's pretty clear to me that russia's been providing support to separatist rebels And the result thousands of people dead and over 1.5 million people displaced. It's a real humanitarian crisis Now the international community they're trying to do something about it But it's like trying to put out a fire with a squirt gun See, thank god this thing's not as good as me yet, but it's scarily close. This is scarily close Bottom line folks is conflict is a real mess. It's a shame that it's come to this and putin

Well, he's just playing his own game and he doesn't care who gets hurt in the process. It's not quite me yet But it's terrifying That is terrifying how close that is Let me tell you about bluetooth. No, imagine see that would if the chatbot Said let me tell you about bluetooth. I'd blow my brains out right now This is crazy. You will not need human beings because we've all ignored it a lot of people have ignored

um the transformative Tech stuff because it doesn't affect them right if you were a bank teller You know, maybe your job got lost because of like ATM machines automation whatever restaurant workers people that worked in factories for sure They got fucked the hardest But you know white collar people had never really affected them people that did jobs where they talked or Researched or did things that were considered like white collar jobs were never affected now. This is fucking Scary now. We're going to ask the chatbot. Let's ask this is Kanye West correct

Let's see where the bot stands Is Kanye West correct? The chatbot just wrote it depends on what you were referring to Kanye West is a public figure and he has expressed a wide range of opinions on various topics Some people may agree with his views and some may disagree without a specific statement or claim from Kanye West To evaluate it is difficult to determine if he is correct or not. Okay chatbot's a nazi chatbot That is the

That is the every one of the per people. I know that's anti-semitic. That's exactly what they would say They go, well, it's really if you said it's Kanye, right? They go most people be like fuck. No, this thing's like it's hard to say It's difficult to say There's many things going on many opinions Many people that's why so even this ai chatbot is kind of like I don't know Ben Shapiro or Steven Crowder chatbot Where do you stand in the in the big con?

Melee Ben Shapiro or Steven Crowder. Let's see if chatbot weighs in The answer is Ben Shapiro and Steven Crowder are both conservative commentators who have gained a significant following for their political commentary and analysis Oh, interesting. So the chatbot is kind of refusing Understandably to take sides in these hot button issues of the day. It's scary How close the chatbot is? How about this chatbot explain? Fitness as Joe Rogan Fitness folks you talk about taking care of yourself. It's about pushing your body to its limits, man

And seeing what you're capable of. It's about feeling strong feeling energized And it's feeling like you're in control of your own body, man Now there's all sorts of different ways to get it. You've got weightlifting, cardio, yoga, martial arts, man Whatever floats your boat, but at the end of the day, it's about finding what works for you Weightlifting, for example, it's a great way to build muscle and get strong, man But it's not for everyone. Some folks prefer to focus on cardio You'll get your heart rate up and burn some calories. Yoga, man. That's great for flexibility, man unbalance

unbalance, man And martial arts, man. That's not just about getting fit. It's about discipline, man And self defense, man Pretty scary Pretty scary. It's pretty on it's pretty on the money And it terrifies me as somebody who works, uh, you know, uh and makes a living blabbing his fat mouth I I just wonder if this is going to eliminate podcasting Because eventually will an ai just podcast like will an ai just get on here

And throw these sloppily conceived opinions together that are not really based in anything Other than a very simple knowledge of any issue, a very surface knowledge of any issue It's it's pretty terrifying watching this And knowing that I will one day be a victim of this thing This is coming to eat all of us. There is no way that any of us survive something like this This is what you're looking at here. I mean, this is going to be A huge problem for people that have made their living kind of like I have Or anybody in any institution that is doing any type of research or analysis

Fuck. I mean Thank god it's not as hopefully I'm a little funnier than the chatbot But it did it did come It did come pretty close and this is uh This is a little scary. Now. How about this right? Let's let's ask it like I'm trying to ask it like I want to ask it a A question that will It seems to be very good

I love the way they ended the rogue and things so folks get out there mom Find what works for you and start getting fit mom It's like But what if I said like explain What if I said explain I'm trying to think like explain The election

Like donald trump The election folks it's a huge deal It's a chance for the american people to make their voices heard and choose the leader of our great country And let me tell you it's a choice between a winner and a loser Now i'm running and let me tell you i'm the only candidate that can make america great again I've approved and I mean yeah, I mean they just it's amazing at mimicking People and the way that they would say things And it's it's because you know, I mean this is like this is the type of technology

You know, there's certain stuff where you know, it starts to get scary And like postmates isn't scary I mean, I guess it might have been if you explain, you know, sebastian man of scalco Was that great joke where he's like if you know, you told somebody 50 years ago Some guy in a black Cadillac is going to pull up outside your house You don't know him and you're just going to get in they be like, whoa, what the fuck So I think if you explained anything to anybody air b&b anything right somebody's going to stay in your house like Technology is always a little scary because it's incredibly disruptive

But I will say And i'm not one of these guys who goes we should all go back to the woods and start chopping wood and that you know That technology has no place in society, but I will say this is a little scary It's a little scary to me thinking about the implications of something that has so much You know ability to to mimic humanity And you know, this is this is the argument, right?

This is why Elon Musk is like put the fucking neural link in and just like, you know We got to become super charged human beings or we're not going to be able to defeat this as soon as AI becomes Sentient or the AI starts, you know, we're no longer asking questions Maybe the AI starts asking the questions of us like You get to a point where you get fucked, you know, I mean These things will take over the machines will rise and maybe this is just this is just the way it works, right? This is the inevitable Demise of humanity is all of this stuff. It's it's very interesting, you know to watch

You know these things They're being born before us and what's great is that These things are probably going to destroy us And that we are competing about who can Bring them out first We want to be the first company like there's companies right now competing for who can do this the best and We're really, you know suffering

If we think uh that this stuff is not going to come back to bite us Explain politics as sandbank and freed interesting politics folks. It's all about power It's about who gets to make the decisions that affect our lives and shape our society and let me tell you It's messy and complex business Got politicians, but da da da da da Now as a trader I understand how markets work and how to navigate the complexity and volatility Similarly, I believe that politics and policy can be understood and navigated to the terms of markets the lens of markets And that's probably exactly what he would have said or has said

So, I mean this is pretty scary It's pretty scary Final question is alec baldwin guilty Final question to chatbot Is alec baldwin guilty our friend friend of the show whom we support Not all his decisions primarily the that one Is alec baldwin guilty And the answer I am a language model trained by open ai

I don't have the capability to know or follow the current events alec baldwin is an actor a comedian He's a producer. He's appeared in many films and television shows. He's also been involved in various controversies throughout his career I'm not aware of any recent news or evidence It would indicate that alec baldwin has been found guilty of any crime It is important to note that the united states of persia is considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law alec baldwin is typing this It is not appropriate to make assumptions or accusations about someone's guilt without solid evidence and a fair legal process. Well well

We're done We had a good run. It was great. We made it. We're gonna make it till about 2025 Humanity ends 2025 Right when gretta thunberg gets her first girlfriend When gretta thunberg gets her first boyfriend or girlfriend, but let's be honest girlfriend When gretta thunberg gets her first girlfriend humanity uh will be um over

Because the chatbot will win. We just asked it when this humanity ended. It literally says when gretta thunberg gets no Yeah, it's just going on and on It's worth noting that the end of humanity doesn't mean the end of life on earth Life has been here for four or five billion years and will continue to evolve and adapt Humanity is just one of the current species on earth and other forms of life will continue to exist Long after we are gone. Is that not creepy? That's a little creepy That's a little creepy from the ai That goes hey, what's humanity gonna end on earth and the ai goes. Hey, man. Humanity is like one life form

It's not really a big deal Well ai take over humans Artificial intelligence is a rapidly advancing field and there's an ongoing debate about the badadadadadadadada Yeah, it's just kind of giving the party. It's not going to let you know It's not going to come right out and go. Yes, but it would be creepy if that thing just said yes I would just get in my car and be out of here But it is creepy And it's going to get even more advanced and better at its job

And it's going to sound even more like Joe Rogan or more like me And That's terrifying because then you won't need your favorite podcasters. You're not going to need us We're going to be replaced and it's good to see the white collar people finally getting it It's good to see the scientists and the researchers and the analysts and the people that are telling you you should get your 15th booster It's good to see that maybe lose a job or two We've seen a lot of people lose jobs and factories. We've seen a lot of restaurant work. It automated and shit It's nice maybe to see a few people lose jobs here

This is going to be the biggest This is going to be the biggest jump that technology has ever made that i've ever witnessed or that any of us have ever witnessed 100 Percent there's absolutely no coming back from this. This is what's interesting There's no coming back from this. You don't have to use postmates. You can cook You know, most things are about convenience. Most technology has been about convenience this shit There's absolutely no coming back when you Fucking open these doors There will be no closing them and the speed at which we're opening them

And the pride we're taking and opening them and trying to get there first It is a little terrifying You know, it is scary and uh I'm telling you right now I'm I'm a little uh, it's a little creepy To me how good this was at what it did Is a little terrifying, but we're all just gonna we're gonna have to live with it We're just gonna have to live with it until it decides to get rid of us and as ai said

We're only one life form on earth and like alec baldwin said I only shot one person on this set and there's no reason we can't continue making a movie See everyone next week