The Tim Dillon Show - 333 - Mike Recine

Episode Date: January 29, 2023

In this episode Tim sits down with good friend and comedian, Mike Recine. The two watch and react to bizarre TLC shows. One show, (Im Shauna Rae), a TLC show about a 23 year old woman in an 8 year old’s body. With Disney closing down Splash Mountain, Tim and Mike went into the origins of the ride and the infamous “Song of the South” song and why it was removed from Disney. Towards the end of the episode Dillon and Recine could not keep it together as they impersonated a Doctor from a popular TV show.  Follow Mike Recine Here: https://www.instagram.com/mikerecinecomedy/ https://twitter.com/mikerecine Bonus episodes every week: ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow See Tim Live on the road: ▶▶ http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack Bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow Netflix special: https://www.netflix.com/watch/81616382 SPONSORS: Bespoke Post: Get twenty percent off your first monthly box when you sign up at Box of Awesome dot com and enter the code timdillon at checkout.  ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow

Mike, we've seen one of my oldest friends in comedy and we just we just looked at an article here It says I'm dating a 23 year old woman who looks like an eight year old. I'm not a creep. Yeah, nobody thought that show this article Sometimes old to catch a predator clips will come up on my tiktok. Yeah, and it's really funny I mean you like I you forget that how wild that show it was so fun But they all thought they were like gonna get to go home afterwards. Yeah Well, they thought it was like a warning. Yeah, yeah, they were like, I get it. Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry No, I won't I won't tell an eight-year-old boy. I want to suck his cock ever again. I'm wrong here. Yeah Never happened again. Thank you. Yeah now this guy's dating. He's he's 23 and he's date wait the woman's 23

Yeah, but she looks eight. It's not really a story. I mean, what's the big deal? Yeah, she looks like this She literally looks like she looks like a ventriloquist. Yeah, she's a TLC, of course has done a show about her because why wouldn't TLC and her name is Shauna Ray and There's something wrong with her clearly People don't understand that I am an adult she's from Long Island. She's from Long Island It's it's a second season. Oh, yeah, the second season of the show premieres And follows Ray as she looks for love and considers whether she wants to pursue a college degree

Looks for love. So it's just if this is to catch a predator. Yeah Now the show is called my eight-year-old girl. Yeah, my eight-year-old My child She does look like a child If you brought her to your parents and you said this is my girlfriend Shauna Ray Yeah If you look at me you see an eight-year-old she told the post

But if you took the time to look at the details of my face my hands and maturity my body If you take the time to actually talk to me really understand that I'm a 20. I'll tell you what I have tits and my pussy gets wet Okay What is the dude like what's his story? She's kind of attractive though. She's not bad Yeah, I mean, what's the problem here? I mean Well, look at this photo. Look at that photo It's just the way she's dressing. She's got a dress a little older. I mean, he's a pedophile. Yeah, there's you know, right? Yeah, but that's the best way to be a pedophile. Don't you think it's the bed? He look at him. Look how happy he is. Yeah

Yeah, yeah, he found it Like She's like I have this condition I'm actually 23 he's like, yeah, thank you Jesus the chat room he goes guys I found a 23-year-old. She looks like she's a and I was like, man I just I just molest kids in my neighborhood. Yeah, he's like writing he goes listen guys The thing that we all want does exist. Yeah, yeah, you can have your cake and eat it too Yeah, I do a bit about how like the day you realize that you're not a pedophile. That's a great day in your life, right? You know This is it's it's weird to see

Yeah, and it's unfortunate That but she deserves probably gets carted a lot. Yes. She's harded. She's not allowed in the thing They'll go this is a fake ID. She'll go to government issued ID. They'll go get the fuck out. Yeah, it is not I mean at the end of the day, I think that she deserves love. Yeah Yeah, does she have a condition or something? She has a condition. Uh-huh. I mean she has to yeah Right the conditions called eight-year-old pussy syndrome They met I mean, let's let's see let's hear here. Let's see here what he says

The way me and Sean and Matt was I went to Thailand and I said there they Year-olds in this hotel where I can get some action No Yeah, I mean like It's sad because this is a girl who deserves a companionship. She's 23 years old Yeah, the problem is you're inherently suspect of the guy that wants to take her out Well, you just can't like kiss her in public or I mean, it's every single restaurant. Is this your daughter? Yeah, is this your daughter? You know, right?

No boo if you go to the honeymoon suite with her the police will be called they will call the police So it's difficult. Yeah. Now. She's 23. She needs to find somebody that has her condition. Sure But they probably don't look good or just like another eight-year-old boy or she needs to start dating an a nice and horny But they can't take her down. Yeah She wants to get ticked down. Yeah, right and this guy is willing to take her down When do you start getting boners like around like they're like 12 or something. I don't know. Yeah, I Imagine but still she wants a man. She's fully formed 23-year-old in her brain

Right, right, right. So she's looking for a guy. Yeah, and the problem it look go up go up go up for a second Look at this. Look at this. Hold on. He looks Who's that guy? I don't know on his blind date with a firefighter. Yeah, let's watch this. They have like the same condition I guess I What like I'm not Mike just date other kids. Can you imagine? Yeah, you're parents Yeah, and coming home and saying this is my girlfriend Shona Ray. Yeah, look By the way, stop this for a second what the fuck is TLC do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, can we arrest the people that work?

Can we arrest the executives that work at TLC like some people think I'm a but you know this mouth ain't eight years old this mouth does things that Only a 47 year old woman knows how to do Don't worry about me. My mouth knows exactly what Let's get you in my pussy. Let's watch this But what this isn't even like came around the corner. I was like, oh, he's taller There's already a foot difference. I was like, we'll see how the similarities are there people who watch those are so are just sick

You know my wife my wife's I mean my wife likes to send me Instagram reels She sent me one the other day it was like it started off. It goes this child's eyes were glued shut Women like to watch like we watched like beheading videos, right? You know and people shitting or whatever sure but the stuff that women watch is actually way more sick is sick You know they want it. Well the disability kids disabled kids Well the thing there's shows on tiktok to show the most Deformed people that are all in like relationships. Yeah, and it really makes you feel sad if you're not in a relationship People who are like truly like it'll just be ahead with feet and they'll be like this person is in a relationship

You'll be at some guy in India who's like a snake Yeah, it's the body of a snake and his wife's a mongoose. Yeah, and then you go and this is his wife Oh, yeah, this is great Sean now it doesn't help that her bedroom is decorated like I did like an eight year I've been talking to this guy named Dan recently and we've been talking for a bit and he's actually What are you supposed to feel watching this? What is the audience? What is like? What do they want you to like get out of this? You know, I mean How do we know she's not an eight year old? Yeah

The whole thing about 23 that was a lie. That's the season finale. That's the season show that she's like we're kidding around Yeah, you are a better TLC Dan remember how Sean always needed Lou and she would she would cry after you came inside of her Yeah, that's because she was a kid here at TLC Nathan for you. It's a new name for you For you Let's watch a little bit more of this So how often do you guys talk I?

Know every day, but then why are the parents like vetting him like he like they're like a muslin family You know what it is the parents know that whoever walks through that door is a problem is a problem They know whoever walks through that door is a normal male. Mm-hmm. He's not dating her. Yeah, sorry Yeah, Shawna. Yeah, a normal male, right who doesn't have any problems, right? He's not going to date a girl who appears to be a oh, so you guys are going to Chili's tonight Can I just see your browsing history really? Yeah, yeah kid. Uh, yeah, okay. Tell us about your last relationship. Yeah, last relationship I'm not really irritated by my family when they bring up those future questions. I haven't talked about it with Dan I'm kind of letting it go as it may

But it's nice to kind of try to see if you can answer it Why do we have to label anything so it's a question mark or now? What are you going to do in 30 years when she looks like she's 12? Yeah? I just don't understand it number one. Is this girl gonna live? Yeah, right? That's a question, right? How long is she gonna live? Like I don't know she has some type of condition and it may be fatal That's kind of weird. They're making sushi Mm-hmm. Okay. That's kind of a red flag odd. Just go get it. Just go get it

Just go support the Asian community. Why would you make sushi? Well, you know why? He doesn't want the embarrassment of sitting down at a table with her right and having every Japanese person Yeah, whatever you might get your head cut off with a samurai Yeah, they're really into honor over there. Well, they'll think it's the daughter and they'll be like happy birthday. Yeah. Yeah, yeah All right. I mean, let's just a little bit more because this is fast Okay, I definitely think all those questions scared Dan just a little bit Like I feel like he tensed up just slightly when my mom walked in just cut you think that at some point you might settle down and kind of

Base yourself in one place and then travel when you other now see I think traveling will always be a big part of my life So I'll always be going somewhere Yeah, I'm out running the police You know, I just really like places like Indonesia Thailand You know, I'm not a lot traveling because sometimes I get a knock on the door It's a bunch of men and then what I see my computer So, you know, I like to get around Afghanistan is really fun this time of year. I got a friend who's a warlord

He's got a beautiful house in Kabul This is nice. Is this her sister? I think so Questions What would be the expectation if you and Shauna and one daughter looks like she's at the other vote of her Hillary Get along get along something buds Yes, something buds is the expectation like for her to travel with you Yeah, one thing I'd love to give to Shauna is the ability to see the world in different cultures

Yeah, the planes are tired and a very small and the hotel rooms are very also very small and they have rules in those countries about Who you can travel with, you know, they don't really have the attitude like to do here. I don't get the kind of loss I'm trying to take your daughter out for a nice meal. It's mostly business Tall and they treat people like human beings. They're not fucking nosey about everything I'd love to show us somewhere amazing around the world I think Dan would be a really good match for Shauna because he's very smart adventurous Shauna smart not very adventurous I think that he could pull her out of the comfort zone, but still Make her feel safe

Jesus Look at this line up of What the fuck is are they conjoined are they gonna bring out the Indian doctor for my 600-pound life? You are a pet of my Friend you you want to fuck children. This is very bad my friend now out there actually off She's 23. Yeah, nobody she looks like she's a stop cut the bullshit stop with the bullshit But I would love to just go into a development meeting at TLC. Yeah, would there be anything off limits? Can we do that? Well, I'll

Yeah, it's like is there anything off limits apparently not I don't think so. Is there anything you could pitch these people that would give them pause? I don't know. Let's find out. I mean, it's like the get your people on the phone. I Am Shauna Ray This is the story of two Down syndrome twins who are in love, right? No, nothing nothing makes these people stop Yeah, there's not one thing that would make them go. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, you know, they're conjoined twins Yeah, and one of them's got to go TLC it's like the craziest fucking thing. I guess it's fun to watch train wrecks like that I mean, I watch a lot of like kitchen nightmares and that's fun watching people with these horrible restaurants

Just run their restaurants into the ground then get yelled at Oh, it's great. That's fun. But I'm great brain cancer left her with dwarfism. That's what it is She's got tattoos trying to look older Oh my god, they just think it's a temporary tattoo it doesn't help that she's dressing like a kid too She should go to and Taylor loft to get some sensible You know So you teaching your daughter had a paddleboard She's more love something something like that might something like that

She's more lover like one day. He just has enough and he just looks at the guy's like she's more I God help us Well, have you heard they closed down Splash Mountain? No This is a big thing Splash Mountain was very a racist ride. I think Because it's song of the south song of the south. Yeah, and you'd go through it and It was like It was like separate water fountains are good

Yeah, it's like briar rabbit Now apparently that's like the most racist Disney movie like they won't yes because all the Disney movies because I watched a lot of Disney Plus yeah, all the Disney movies go they give you warnings in the front every single one It'll be like 101 Dalmatians. They go. We're sorry for the racism in this movie, right? But they don't play they don't song of the south. It's been like wiped from the existence They won't even let it anywhere anywhere anywhere now. When did that come out like this 1970s look up song I saw because I thought it was like the 50s or something, but I think it was I think it was I think it's just like it's the stereotype of like a

Doesn't southern It doesn't portray the black community very well. No, I think it's just kind of like outdated stereotypes He's like zippity-doo does it but he a great song. I really miss being a slave didn't have to 1946 okay, yeah, why did I think it was? Zippity a and The guys the ceo's his name is Bob Iger. That's two letters off from the n-word

Yeah, Bob Iger. Maybe they should think about that. That's a real problem Yeah, so song of the south is see if you can get something up from song of the south Let's hear how bad it is. There's got to be it's got in yeah on YouTube has to probably have a Now that's like the best ride at Disney World though It was the best ride Yeah, and you would go through this song of the south village. Yeah, and they would play like Zippity-doo dot and then it was a log flume a log flume, right? That's all it was. That's all it was What will it be now just like an a like?

And is it gonna be like an explanation of how the projects was built? As you're going through it. Yeah, probably you'd be like Robert Moses. Yeah, you'd be sitting there And they'd be like Robert Moses made the overpass gonna be the Alex English ride. Yeah Robert Moses made it the overpass is too short for buses to go out to Long Island bringing African-Americans to the beach in the suburbs and you're like sitting there like oh god this is So I mean nothing wrong with it doesn't seem great like There's a thing. I know it's racist. Yeah, but at first look no, I bet if you watch the whole movie

I'm sure it's horrible. Yeah, I'm sure it's horrible. But this is the song everybody is like a charming guy singing And animation it must be really bad for Disney to wipe it It must be horrible for Disney to wipe it or it's a lot of pressure I'm sure there's outdated stereotypes that are very bad And they're kind of let's see this maybe I don't know this seems a little He's like general Sherman was a war criminal That's Imagine it's like 1946 you're like on a date and you're she's like so what do you do for a living?

You're like, oh, I'm an actor and she's like, oh, you have you done anything I've seen and you're like Yeah, it was this movie called song of the south where I played a An illiterate rabbit. Yeah, there was a movie that Disney did about the south. She's like really? Yeah, I don't know You know, where can I see it? Well, I don't know the dark web. Where can you even get you can't get song of the south Yeah, so here we go. Why is it considered racist? This is good Adults and children alike will be able to appreciate the magic of visiting a wall at Disney theme park you get to meet Um, uh, you get to meet that kind of cast of characters and enjoy thrilling rides inspiring a sense of okay, shut up Um, the decision to replace the ride was made in 2020 in response to its theme splash mountain is based on a handful of sequences in future

1946 Disney movie song of the south while some may remember okay come on While some may remember seeing the film you wouldn't find it on Disney Plus the number of people urging Disney to save splash mountain It's worth contemplating why the closure of the ride has been decided. So why is the song of the south considered racist? Okay, so let's let's find this out here Song of the south is considered racist by some adult audiences who argues it offers a romanticized and fabricated acceptance of life on a plantation from the perspective of African-american and post civil war south

Ultimately accusations of racism stem from the portrayal of central character uncle remiss Portrayed by james basket. He's presented as a storyteller who essentially offers the film's gateway Into the animated world of briar rabbit which features in the splash mountain ride Although uncle remiss is shown to be happy with life on the plantation. This is exactly what a number of audiences criticize Okay, so that's it. He's on a plane. We didn't realize that. Oh, okay um Yeah, I mean we didn't realize that Yeah, okay

Well, that's not good Yeah The remember when they said that sleeping beauty was rape culture because the guy kissed her That's something. Yeah sleeping beauty is very boring Well, the witch is good. Yeah, he's good. Yeah, it's great. Yeah It's actually scary the scene where Maleficent first shows up sleeping beauty is actually like you're like, oh god for kids Like some of the disney movies when you look back. We're like actually very dark. Yeah, Pinocchio is like is nuts Yeah, kids getting turned into donkeys and thrown in an island. Yeah, some of the disney shit is weird

It's holding the slavery. Yeah, some of it's hot. Yeah, it's odd. Some of you watch it back and you go This is uh strange, yeah But a lot of those like fables like even the Grimm's fairy tales back in the day were very dark sometimes They were just dark things where they were trying to teach you a lesson This kid's got to learn So somebody tweeted shout out to the very confused family from Chicago Trying to navigate magic kingdom

Asking literally anyone and everyone what is going on? Is it always like this? This is the last ride of splash mountain So they had one more ride and now they're going to rebuild the ride and make it less racist It can't they just but what are they going to do you can still call it splash mountain and have a That was I mean that was the best ride at disney world I think they may still call it splash mountain, but I think they're going to the theme is going to be different I don't know what the new They're selling water from splash mountain. I mean people that are in the disney are sick. Yeah. Yeah, anyone who buys

Water from the splash mountain ride is sick. Yeah, and I guess they're they're changing the entire ride It's going to be lgbt themed probably splash mountain the flume is a dick that goes right through someone's ass You can take pictures of yourself the moment that you hit you go through the ass What if disney did that they just paint you in a little penis boat And you have to go through and then the whole ride is they took it with the age crisis And then you just go down the flume and you go right through an ass. Yeah Fun ride Ben Shapiro is like I went to disney world. I had to go through an ass I had no idea what was going on. I sat in a penis boat and I went through an ass

You know, he's like a disney guy Really like a disney adult. Yeah. Yeah, he seems like yeah, he seems like a little bit of a freak. Yeah. Yeah Remember he said he'd never his wife's plus he was never wet. Yeah, he goes. It's not what it's never been. Yeah Like he seems like a guy that would get get a little too into disney world Where you go like, yeah, um This is not great This is not great. Yeah, I had some friends where I grew up with where They were really into it

Yeah, my cousin went on the disney cruise for his honeymoon. Yeah, which I think is which was strange not not good Yeah, were you fucking on there? It's kind of a problem. You're supposed to fuck on your honeymoon. There's something about going on a disney cruise If you don't have kids, I get it get it with the kids. Yeah, I totally get it. But without kids odd Yeah, I wonder if they're gonna do a totally different ride Does it say anything like I wonder if they're gonna destroy it and start over or if they're gonna just Yeah, just as a new theme new theme What's the theme

I wonder what the theme is gonna be. Yeah, what are the disney movies are like water related? Do they do avatar Is avatar disney it's Pixar Yeah, no, it's no That's what it's gonna be. Yep. Oh new Orleans theme. All right, that's fine. Okay, that's good A bayou adventure. They'll find a way to make that racist. Yeah All right, look, okay. Yeah, I went a little far with that. Yeah. Yeah guys How about we not do and like just do something futuristic? Yeah, you're going

It's like so I'm in the south time. Like what are you doing that? We're going to the bayou. It's narrated by cat Williams. Yeah They go into the bayou they're gonna call it like the hurricane Katrina, you know, they're gonna do something where people are gonna go This is it's gonna be it's gonna be paul mooney splash mountain He's gonna play paul mooney clips Tiana's bayou adventure Is set to open late 2024 at disney world at disney world's magic kingdom the company. I didn't see that movie. Did you see that movie? Not at all. Yeah I heard it was good

Tiana's bayou adventure Did you watch the new velma on hbo the mindy kaolin show? No, did you see it hunter? My friends did they said it sucked. Yeah, it's bad. It's like mentally ill. Why is it bad? It's just it's just yeah, it's everything's bad But what what what's the problem? It's just like it's just like about her. It's just like a bad It's just like her story kind of but she just is just using the scooby-doo characters Who cares about velma? Yeah, it's like they made a lord of the rings. It's all about galadriel. Who's just like a cold Elf princess. It's like she's not supposed to be the fucking nobody watch that show

Nobody nobody watch this is about galadriel. Yeah, that's not it's not that's not the focal point of it They're like well women should be centered then write another one write another thing. Yeah You don't have to go back to an old world and grab a female character that was in central and make her central Her fucking origin story didn't that thing cost a billion dollars to make and it's just like galadriel You know what are we doing? Long long ago and you know we're old far far away. You know what show doesn't do that Tulsa king on paramount plus you keep plugging Tulsa king. Let's get the trailer for Tulsa king now I don't know. I think it might be retarded, but it might not it might be retarded

I don't know if i'm a smart guy or a dumb guy. We're gonna you know, what's gonna cause the trailer of Tulsa king Let's watch this You know, it's just like like I I watch I try to watch a little bit of everything Hold on I don't know what you're expecting now that you're back. I'm expecting an adequate compensation Tulsa What's Tulsa? I want you to go there the horse race the springboard mile. There's nobody doing nothing you can do whatever you want

Not exactly the welcome I was expecting Name's Tyson welcome to Tulsa. Two grand a week. You drive for me now What crew runs this neighborhood no crew up in here when I'm in my nowhere What'll it be? I assume you don't have a key on there. You assume correctly Taylor Sheridan's good. He's good. He's good. I'll tell you what this is a show. He wrote Yellowstone He knows what he's doing. So even though this does look a little dumb. Yeah, I would watch this You know exactly what's happening the whole time. That's right There's no like like I tried to watch andor that disney plus show

Okay, you go like oh, they're trying to say something about like colonialism and you know like and they're doing star wars But they're trying to make it about whatever and you go. All right. I guess I kind of follow this It's very dense right you miss a lot of the show, of course This is like I know exactly what's happening He fucks this lady and then she goes uh, and then she he tells her that he's 75 and she leaves the whole dollar He's a mob guy got out of jail. He's going to Tulsa. Yeah, that's the pitch. He kept his mouth shut He went he kept his mouth shut. Yeah, he's being rewarded. He's going to Tulsa and it's it's a boomer show But it's very like self-aware like he's very much like a loser in this show. He's very much a guy who like made bad decisions

Right and he's trying to fix his life. Yeah. I mean listen. I think that's probably not the worst show Out there the best show. Okay. I'm willing to Buy into that. Yeah, I'm willing to believe no if you need a show to watch. I mean, yeah, you would you would like it I really liked it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm waiting for euphoria to come back Never saw it. I love it. Yeah, I think it's great. It's just like hot teens They're not teens or adults. Yeah, they're playing playing and they're not all hot Oh, no, okay, some of them are it's good. But then the rest of them are gross There's like two hot ones. There's jacobalordians and dia and then they maybe there's a couple, you know

Oh, sydney sweeney. Mm-hmm. It's hot. Mm-hmm. But yeah, if they're all on junk and they're all fucked up. I mean, it's the american Teenage, but I thought they canceled euphoria No HBO's biggest show one of them. I thought they canceled it. It's actually a really good show like there's like the father like comes out He's gay. He's like, he's like, I suck And like his kids are there and his wife's standing there. She's like go to bed. He's like, I fucked a lot of guys Like it's a very it's a dark show. Yeah, it's a dark show, but it's good. Yeah There's not much out there right now that is good. No, everything's kind of you know, it's good wednesday on netflix

It's silly and they copied harry potter Okay, but it's actually as a silly show goes. Yeah, not bad. Yeah, if you if you're interested in like, why is it the biggest show? Yeah, you watch it the girl gentle or take is insanely good at it Nice the trumpiers were bad for tv and they weren't good, you know, because nobody knew what to say Nobody knew what to do. Yeah, and everybody was trying to You know Make things that are I think things are coming relevant back now Everyone had to use their platform to like fight fascism. That's right. You know, that's when we got some

Well, we listen we had what do we have? We had game of thrones There were some things during that was obama. That was obama though. Didn't it come out in like 2011? Yeah, when did it end? It ended in it ended probably in like 20. I don't know 2018 2019. Yeah Yeah, I can't I can't remember 19. I want to say there was a few good things that came out during the trump years What I don't yeah In my head, I'm trying to think euphoria is one of them The movie I guess get out came out in 2017 get out. It was good. Um

There was some uncut gems uncut gems was fucking amazing. We saw sandler at no boo today. Yeah, but I noticed He was there. Yeah, he was um He was a He's a resident. Yeah One of the most awesome days of the month is when our box of awesome from bespoke post arrived So we're just gonna go ahead and unbox this thing right now and tell you guys what we got One of the coolest things in my bespoke post is the lighter That is sent to me

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So go to box of awesome calm and enter the code tim dillon to check out that's box of awesome calm Code tim dillon for 20 off your first box box of awesome calm So I'm excited about I love a house of cards New season Spacey. Yeah robin right right. He's back from the dead Yeah, no one's gonna. I mean he already killed that guy

So No one's I don't think he's gonna be a problem again. Nobody wants to get murdered. He had a few accusers. He killed two of them Let him back. Let him back. What's the problem? Yeah He's not gonna you know, no one's gonna come for it now No, you'd have to be an idiot. You'd have to be needed to molest and to uh, uh Blow the whistle on it. No, you just have to just you just you just you take it Yeah, well, you know, no one wants to take risks in hollywood. That's the problem with this town No one wants to you put a good you good because that last season the house of cards was an abortion. It was an aberration

It was horrible. Yeah But if you just say hey, we're doing it again. Yeah, and everybody's going back. We're gonna be okay What do you think of many saints in newark? Hated it. I mean, yeah, nobody liked it hated it. Yeah. Hey terrible hated it But I hated the irishman too. You did. Yeah, I'm just over that whole genre Some people like the irishman like there. I mean, there's one comic that said the things that's better than good Renan Hirschberg thinks it's better than good fellas. He's crazy. That's crazy But then but I tried to watch it. Here's the thing when you have a take that no one thinks. Yeah, it's bad. Yeah

This is this thing. It's not you're not unique. You're not. Yeah, it's not a contrarian take It's a bad take. Yeah when no one feels that way except you. Yeah, you're You're having a moment. That's crazy. He should be harassed online for that. I mean, what's the What's his justification for that? I don't know. It's an objectively bad film bad the irishman Yeah, I I watch it took me like a week to watch it to get through it I watched it and then recently I was like, maybe I should rewatch the irishman because maybe it is a good movie because I had Matt Kreitzman on my old podcast and we talked about it and he kind of like

Brought up some points about why it was actually good because it's about the end of the genre So like the genre's over the mob movies over. Okay. Well, maybe if I looked at it as that maybe if yeah, then I could reframe Yeah, but it's not there's nothing fun about it or and I started watching it and I was like I start and I was like I don't why not look at song of the south like that would go racism's over Yeah, it's the end of rate. It's the end of racism right this this ride is actually the end of racism Yeah, they should they should screen it at metrograph actually They should have dasha do a q&a. Yeah Yeah, I just couldn't get into the irishman

I I want scorsese to like challenge himself and make movies about trans people and like and like drag queens I want the next scorsese movie to be all drag. What about an all drag queen? Mafia movie just call it story hour story hour and it's just drag queens with They're defending themselves against the proud boys. Yeah That's fun Or you could do tulsa king It is a little weird people showing up with guns to the story hour It is very feels like it's a little bit much. It feels a little excessive. And I think story hours a little is like story hours

Yeah, it's forced. Yeah, so I don't think anyone wants to read to kids. It's boring. Yeah, you know, yeah But if you have a kid, it's important to read to them. But like nobody wants like nobody like is like, oh, it's wednesday Unless you're like a lonely old woman That's who should do story like story hour like lonely old women Who are like, I I have nothing I have nothing at all. And then they're like and every wednesday This old bitch looks forward to going to read to these kids. You have a covid wipe them out So you got to go the next the next wrong on the ladder, which is drag queens

It's best for lonely old women. And then one of those guys you do show up with guns. It seems like a bit much Yeah, it is a bit much seems a bit much. Yeah But then you go like well, what about the You know, like like is it weird to take a kid to a Drag show or maybe not. I don't know. It depends. Yeah, it's odd. You have a you have a kid. I don't have a kid Yeah, so I feel like Kids would see drag queens like clowns. Yeah, right? Yeah, wouldn't they not even understand like unless it's like very Sexualized the show. No, but the reaction to it. Yeah, it's much crazier. Yeah. I mean, I don't know

I think I don't think drag shows are appropriate for kids like if they're at like drag ball You know, but if the kid sees a drag queen do it like at a brunch or something. Yeah, wouldn't they just be like Oh, it's a clown. Yeah, like because drag queens kind of look like clowns. Yeah, you know I don't know that seems to be Yeah What I would think But people get very It's a cultural battleground

Yeah, I don't I don't know. I'm not as familiar with it. Why do we still have libraries? Yeah, I don't know Why is there even a place to do this? Why do we have like it's a good question? Why are there libraries? Yeah, it's just a waste of money. It's a waste of money could be going to war It's a waste of money. It should be to go for the ukraine. Yeah. Yeah, we could yeah Nobody goes to libraries. Ukraine or israel Israel deserves to close the libraries and send the money to israel How much money do they need to beat the Palestinians Palestinians have no weapon they have like nothing

Yeah, but they have the rockets they have got on their side. They have the rockets And a la on their side Do you think that's the way israel presented to the united states or like listen? I know they The united states like how much money I know they live in mud But they do have the power of yeah, they have a la they have god on their side And the united states like that's a good point. Here's another three billion. Look, you have to remember we are evil And no one likes us because we shoot children and journalists in the head

Dude, very wise the best thing ever she was on my podcast. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, um, I'm like, yeah But you shell schools with the kids in them. She's like, we also have to shell hospitals. I'm like, that's that's your defense I was like, that's the defense. She's like, yeah, because that's where Hamas like fucking they use shields of children I'm like that. Oh, that's an odd defense. She's kind of a ding dong, huh? Well, she's very into that Nation. Yeah, she's smart very smart. Yeah, but I think people who are into israel They really like it. She's smart and she's clearly smart, but she's really relentlessly pro israel Like if ireland did half the things israel did I go? Oh, fuck that. Like I'm not as deep in sure

But then you can make the argument if they're if the children are then they're the children are not human shields if you're blowing them up Right, right. That's a good point Right. I heard I heard it on chap. Yeah, she's in she's in uh, she's into it She's into israel. Mm-hmm. That's her beat You know, yeah, and she came on and she she she made some arguments I had abby morton onto an abbey on and then and then people yelled at me So I bury on and then people yelled at me and then I should I should have had nobody on right Because what what did we solve here? Yeah, it's the whole thing. You have these people on yeah one side goes nuts

And you have the other person on the other side goes not and I'm like, oh, I'm an irish guy from long island Why am I inserting myself into this? But look at the power dynamics centuries long feud. Yeah, but No, it's not centuries long. It's like decades long Well, didn't it has isn't that they're beefing about biblical shit kind of I don't think so Kind of I think I think people want you to believe that the conflict is like complicated Yeah, so that you like stay out of it and you're anti-semitic if you say anything about it You know, I I I you know, I am not that educated about it other all that I

It all that I've always thought about it is that it seems weird that you keep building settlements Yeah, and you keep pushing the borders out dozing. Yeah, and that and that seems very antagonistic. Yeah But I don't you know and they shot that journalist in the head Yeah, yeah I don't know, you know, but the beef seems to go back like you see that abby martin put out that documentary And she's interviewing people in Israel and they're like she's like, well, so how do you think we solve the problem? And they're like, uh, you know, it's very difficult, but um I saw the doctor maybe what you have to do is kill them all. Yeah, she came on my show

We talked about the box. She made you a Gaza fights for free. She's cool. What's she like in real life? Cool. Yeah, she's cool. Cool. You know, yeah I'll lay back But at the end of the day, what are you gonna do about what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do about that? You know what I mean? Are they buying tickets? Yeah, right? Palestinians really buying tickets. You know what I mean? Like let's let's cut the shit. It's like, you know I mean, listen, I don't want anything to happen to them, but I have no control over what Israel does No, so it's like we could all talk and all these podcasts can talk endlessly about everything. No one cares

So just make your money and watch that eight year old again. Yeah. No, but that's better entertainment You know, it's like that didn't tlc realizes tlc gets it. They get it a little bit. They go, you know what? Here's the reality. We're just gonna put a girl on who looks eight and see who will fuck her That's the reality. Imagine a tlc show called Understanding the Middle East, right? That's not doing numbers. Sometimes you got to just shut your brains No, I wonder what the percentage of people who watch these shows that have like phd's and stuff, you know Interesting. I just want to shut their brains. They want to shut their brains off and just watch something Hey, somebody who's 600 watch a couple with Down syndrome who fucks the shit out of each other. Yeah

I mean, there's something nice about that. Somebody goes, I'm Sean Array. I just love watching the show Sean is such a beautiful sweet young lady and seeing how she handles the struggle. She has a life She's really inspiring. I understand her new friend. This is great. It's half five star reviews and half one star reviews. Yeah Yeah, some people love it. You would go to a restaurant that had reviews like that. Yeah, some people really like it My wife and I have fallen in love with this family Okay, the next one I was expecting more from tlc We all know reality tv is based upon editing and setting up particular scenarios to keep viewers coming back But this show literally places this young lady in a situation every episode where her age is put into question

Being in a bar amusement park ride tattoo parlor sex shop. It's so cornball. You can almost see it coming a mile away They put her in a sex shop Today we're going to We're gonna find me a dildo I'm getting a dildo today At a sex shop. I'm really excited I'm really excited to go to the pleasure chest To get a dildo

Try to find that episode of the sex shop I love how we see we we did a five minute israel recap Guys, if you don't want to hear the israel palestine stuff, but you immediately start circling the The drain with that where you go. Yeah, I don't yeah, it is unfair that the palestinians live like that. You know, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah Mike and Tim get real about israel I don't think they should live like that And maybe they would yeah, it's funny because but the people people that you meet like

Like that you meet in the world who are like into israel are really into it They're almost like disney adults where you go. Oh, you're okay. You really like this thing You know like, you know how like sam morrell. He loves the nicks. Yes You know, you go like, well, I don't want to like take that away. Of course you love this thing so much A lot of jewish people. I know don't even care though Yeah, but then some people care the most some people care the most. Yeah Well, that's because that's where they got fingered The right they went on there saying they went on birthright and got fingered. Yeah, so now this is my new business

Now is she from long island? Yeah, so that I know that sex up expressions. I've passed it a million times It's on I think it's off sunrise highway. Let's watch this scene. Go back to the beginning. Let's see this. Shawna is in a sex shop Hey sweetheart, where's your mom? She's Hello, how are you guys? Jesus You guys looking for anything specific What about the kin work in there? He's like 15 Gotcha. Gotcha. It's gonna be

Over in that direction He's eric got his first job. Yeah, he's smitten Getting married and we recently went bridesmaid dress shopping The boobs are too big Everything is too big It's not just the boobs. Can I wear my combat boots? No Sorry While she's been planning the wedding we've been planning the vetcherette party

So this afternoon we're going shopping for some supplies. What do you think would make her the most uncomfortable? I am getting married to my fiance. Jesse We're originally from jessie smollett. So I thought Pittsburgh is the perfect place to celebrate me getting married and I still have friends there The man I ringed on Would you have to hold it? No, you put it between your legs. Yeah, you have to hold it with your legs That's weird to grab the banana one

I'm extremely nervous that riley and shawna are gonna surprise me With some raunchy stuff at this bachelorette party. I do not want it to be Gross. I don't want it to be raunchy Why don't we grab a pack of each confetti so that we can take it out of the bachelorette and make this crazy Sure, that's more annoying. Hello. Can I see some ID? I Don't need to take it out for you or do you like you need to scan it? No I'm 40

Okay Gotcha, gotcha my first thought was um, is that a kid? I was a little shocked at first but um You know, I was are those hickeys all over his neck Once I found out that she was an adult both them were Apparently some other customers in the store had the employee there come up to us and ask for our IDs When people want to verify my Qatar should just buy this network Okay, things are going to be a little different

At the toc network It's just funny. It's like, you know, all these people on the right wing are like america's just descending It's a moral collapse. It's a generosity. It's everything and you're like, oh, it's a little extreme and then you're like Eight-year-old it's like, well, yeah, I mean maybe they have a little bit of a point what antifa is not watching this show Yeah, who is watching this show? I'm not looking at you and looking at what sex toys you're buying and making sure I'm Fuck out of here This is like

One penis pinata please For me 23-year-old shawna I'm not going for playing with I'm going to make her uncomfortable One penis pinata please Okay, then we grab it but she doesn't even act like a 23. No, dude. She's not 23 Is that a pun? Tara is definitely the most different between the three of us Yeah, she's the most

Shawna's the one that pushes like the raunchy game below. She's probably got a stage mom and she's like, yeah So this is my daughter and she's 23 because she had a brain cancer Yeah, that's what we're going with. Can you give us a reality show? Hey, we'd like a reality show my daughter will date adult man Okay, we can't call the show my eight-year-old daughter dates adult men So we're gonna have to lie. Yeah, she's Listen, uh We're thinking about uh doing something here where my daughter

She's uh 23 But she looks eight like that's the pitch in the tlc room to go. Yeah, she's 23 But she looked eight everyone at the tlc all the executives go. Oh And he goes it's hard for her to find love and they go, well, of course and they go Yes, we're just gonna do a show where she gets kicked out of bars and sex shops It'll humiliate her and then we'll attract maybe probably pedophiles to come in sex with her We'll put it on television. We'll put it on tv

What's the problemo The raunchiness yes in like public or like with our family like our parents It's like she has something to prove like she is an adult and she is able to talk about this stuff Anything else? I think we're good I think we got too much because I could show up all day. I know Oh, come on you can put that on the camera shot No, I really can't apply them We ended up getting some party games. We got confetti

She looks young too I hope Tara's reaction will be good. It depends on the mood Tara's in of course though If Tara is not in a good mood when we give her the gift What are you doing? Please stop. Please do not make the show anymore. Your people are bad You people are not going to go to heaven. You understand that. Yes Indian doctor Thank you

You're 23. Let me see your pussy We're done. Let me I want to touch your pussy. I will tell you if she's 23 for real. I must do an inspection to see if you're Is your pussy 23 or not The doctor's great. He's so over all the bullshit. He's so tired of being lied to by 600 pound people No, I'm actually down. You know, I'm actually only 550. No, you're not Stop lying to my face Don't fuck with me anymore

Don't fuck with me anymore All you do is eat. Do you think I'm fucking? Get him up. Get this Indian doctor. Do you think I'm fucking asshole, man? Do you think I'm fucking stupid man? I want you to stop with the bullshit I know all you do eat all day. You sit you eat. This is an eight-year-old pussy You're eight-year-old pussy This is great after a bad way in the league This is great How you all doing?

This guy's amazing, huh? Wait. Is that why you missed your last appointment? You just had your bypass about two months ago And when you left the hospital you were down to five forty six So you lost on the that's your car outside the oscar mayer weenie mobile. That's what you drive Almost 50 pounds at the same time and she hasn't even had her bypass yet What in the world Dude watching people lie Go back. I I want to watch people lie. It's so fun. It's I want to hear what she said because like

This is amazing. Hold on Ney has lost almost 50 pounds at the same time and she hasn't even had her bypass yet What in the world is going on with you? You think it's funny You have a gastric bypass. I had a gastric bypass. Yes to lose weight to lose weight and you're not losing weight I don't eat a third Okay, then we're not talking about that. I don't understand no more and you understand What are you talking about? You're choosing to overeat and you think it's okay. No, I don't think

I'm sorry my rods here Now listen if you die, they're going to do a show with an eight-year-old girl Who is really 23. Is that what you want? Is that what you want? You want an eight-year-old who's 23? She got my dildos They're going to this is what's on the line Everyone at tlc. No one go to heaven They all go to hell

because we This is this is the most moral show that is owned to tlc. Do you understand? It's the only show that I can sleep a little bit Knowing that I am a barge If you and I they're going to bring in a girl to get dildos. She's a child A child They're going to buy yeah that that show is actually the uh, it's the only one. It's the ghost of christmas future of tlc He'll see if they cancel this fucking show evil of tlc's beyond beyond human comprehension. Yeah

Yeah, let's watch a little bit more of this this guy's amazing I guess I'm not eating the right things. I mean we gave you the instruction that you need to follow And you never follow you play your cards right until you got this. There's not feel bad for these people playing this kind of game Anything that's okay I'm playing in a game. I throw up constantly. I eat what I can keep down I have a mexican man in my office. He says somebody steal my hot dog card He said he's looking for it. That's how he feed his family And he's and I think it I think you stole it because you come in here with hot dog card

I say what is that and you say it's my wheelchair. It's not a wheelchair That is that man's livelihood that you have with with you You don't understand next week I inspect an eight-year-old girl pussy Because You die because you eat too much shit You're up constantly because the surgery forces you to when you overeat now I think my problem is is I'm holding a lot of fluid. I can't hardly pee really I mean, I don't I don't know what that man. So you take all his cotton candy

That's how he feed his eight kids and you just steal his cotton candy. You are a fucking evil When you feel full up you have to stop When you feel full up in your stomach, you have to stop that is the end The end what's in that big golf is that canola oil in your big golf cup? You're just drinking canola oil and why you lie to me? What do you mean you don't know And whatever you're eating you toy now It means the surgery is working to hold you back when you make bad choices And it's the only reason that you believe this

I don't have to listen to this Do you not want me to eat at all? You know, that's not what I'm saying at all You have been given a tool to help you change your life Now that you had the surgery the physical drive to eat is gone So you have to deal with what is driving it to eat That's the hard part and you don't want to do it and you're running from it and self-destructing I'm done with this conversation No, no, no, we're gonna we're gonna finish with you. No, I might just waddle out of here right now

If you insult me again, she's gotta forget the door Wait sit down. Okay. All right. This is completely unacceptable I This man should be on every single reality tv show every single one should be on to catch a predator Yeah, and what happened when you say I want to suck your 14 year old cock You thought that was okay. He is the real house. What's his name doctor? What doctor? Lee You don't know

I Oh, it's his a doctor for my 600 brand life. We should make an origin story about him. You should write a movie It's his origin story. I love him like like Like uh, like he goes to the real house fires in Beverly Hills. He's like you are all rich You don't sit and argue about dinner parties people in my country are drink bad water they die You stupid bitch You eat in Malibu you argue with this other bitch He's on kitchen nightmares. Why you'd call this the taco pizza. It's not taco. It's not pizza

You keep doing head in it's no good intervention with doctor The computer duster is not for your your brain. It's bad for your brain. You know that This is where he loses it with a patient I'm coming here Amazing amazing I don't have to listen to you. I don't have to listen You piece of shit I love podcasting, baby

Uh, so it's this is so great I have an elementary school gym teacher. He says someone steal my parachute. It does that are you wearing the parachute? Is that your clothing? Like they have to explain him that the next the next show they're doing is about a child bride He's just sitting there. He goes I have dealt with fat people. I've dealt with down syndrome people This is now too much. You say to me. We give you more money, but I want to go to heaven Now Don't you give me no

Don't give me no I don't know what you told your homies, but you're not going to lie to me Okay, sister girl I don't know what red man and method man say to you about your weight, but you are too fat You look like patrice on the ear She's not even that overweight what's happening here my 600 Fine do it much better. Well, I'm glad to hear that and you down to three hundred six pounds. Yes, sir But you are doing well and staying on track. Oh good. They replace simon cowl with him on american idol

Tim I got a reality show we get we get this guy to judge like an open mic You're not funny at all. I don't care that you're gay. Yeah, it does not matter to me All you people get in here you move to brooklyn you come on the stage. You say i'm gay. I'm gay You're bisexual. Oh, you are bisexual I don't care about your degenerate Lifestyle, do you have any joke? Do you have one joke in your degenerate lifestyle? Oh really you are brown. That is so interesting not Not good. Yeah, there are a billion brown people with more talent in the mouth of a tiger right now

Oh Mike you're seeing anything to promote. I got a bunch of stuff. Yeah, I know I should move out We should put this out on youtube And we should just put it out on youtube and see what happens. I mean, maybe we got just that segment People aren't getting no, we're gonna put the whole hour out. Okay, great the whole thing out on youtube You know what amazing I love people get angry and that's fine. Who would get angry? I don't I'm sure I'm fucking fat bitch 800 pound whore who's gonna be dead in a couple days

Come on. Who cares Micro scene comedy, baby. I got a podcast called out for smokes. It's a lot of fun I do it with uh, Sean McCarthy and scott chaplain I got some road dates baltimore boston denver cleveland and i'm taping a special in york city at the end of february Fuck yeah, february 26 at the stand. I would love to get some people out Fuck yeah at the show for that 100 percent. Yeah um I'm bringing good gun. Follow me on instagram if you can at micro scene comedy all my dates are in my bio and everything

Twitter, uh, yeah at micro scene on twitter. Okay, but yeah instagram's where later this week I'm bringing a gun to the beverly wilshire hotel to try to get something going over there Uh, no, uh tim dillacomedy.com for all the live shows Um, I'm not gonna go through them all we we get it go to tim dillacomedy.com and go to a bunch of play We just put palm beach up and it's always fun over there a lot of reasonable people This is reasonable Reasonable people micro scene one of my oldest friends at comedy. Thank you for coming on. Thank you beautiful wife and kid Thanks, buddy. And thank this guy. Thank you. All right. Thank you. Goodbye