The Tim Dillon Show - 391 - Boomer Bashing & Campus Protests

Episode Date: May 4, 2024

Tim talks about visiting one of the college campus protests, a boomer YouTube video targeting him, the royal family’s jam, Saturday not being being for the boys and why everything’s a casino now. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://punchup.live/TimDillon SPONSORS: Aura Frames AuraFrames.com to get $30-off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame. AuraFrames.com Use code: TIM. Prize Picks Download The App & Use Code ‘TIM’ For A First Deposit Match Up To $100!” | https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/TIM Ibotta Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app to start earning cash back and use code TIM. IBOTTA in the Google Play or App Store and use code: TIM ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack #timdillon #timdillonpodcast

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. I'm doing a little bit of an addendum right now. I recorded an episode a day ago that will come out. That is you're watching now. But that night after I recorded, I talked a little bit about the encampments at these schools, right? Like Columbia and UCLA. I visited the UCLA encampment.

I got out of my show at the Hollywood Improv. I said, I've got nothing to do. So I went and to check it out, what was going down at the UCLA encampment. And I was very surprised. I drove my Bentley onto the campus and I parked it. And I threw the hazards on, put the hazards on and got out and just started walking around. And I quickly found a bunch of protesters protesting. And then some of them started

to recognize me. And I took a few selfies with them. They were lovely people. You know, they were like, you know, thanks for coming and everything. And, you know, of course, I you're welcome. And, you know, whatever I can do, you know, anything I can do really, you know, to stop the genocide and the war and the imperialism. And, you know, it's it's it's to take some time out of my day to do it, which I don't mind doing you know I think it was kind of certainly brave and kind of inspirational for many of them to see me and I don't want to ever take that away from them I don't want anyone to ever

feel like you know what I mean because I it was important for them to see me with them struggling in the struggle you know the whole thing the whole thing we're really doing it I was there for about 30 know, the whole thing. We're really doing it. I was there for about 30 minutes, but the whole thing, and then a few people go, do you wanna go see the actual encampment? And I was like, okay, am I even allowed in? And they're like, yeah, you're allowed in

if you're with us. So these Muslim kids, I think they were Muslim, one of them was a tiny Chinese person but in the Muslim garb which I enjoyed as just a kind of you know there's like a variation. The white kids are all in the Muslim scarf. I don't know if that's appropriate or not but it certainly was festive. You know I think that's kind of the game here is it's a little fight, it's a little fun, it's a little you know they're mad about stuff. I get it. I'm not saying it's a little fights a little fun. It's a little you know, they're mad about stuff. I get it. I'm not saying it's wrong to be mad about it. But there's a human element

to any of these things where some of them you know, get you know, they spiral out of control. So you have a small Asians in the in the thing. Keffiyeh, whatever it's called is it my pronouncing it? You got it right. Yeah, of course I do. And whites, white guys, tall white guys in that. Everyone was in that. I wasn't, but no one told me. I just showed up. And then I go to the campus and to get into the camp

and you go, you have to say, you're not a Zionist. And to get in, because here's what they've smartly realized that the encampment is that no member of the FBI would ever lie. So the reality was like are you a Zionist? I went no Zionism here and they just let me in and I look like a cop I've got I'm in pajama pants. I have my hoodie and I'm walking around the encampment and just kind of meeting people, you know, just kind of making it a nice night for them, really kind of a special evening for them and just kind of being there with them in their movement. I don't know if I helped. I certainly didn't hurt, you know.

And I was there kind of avoiding photos. You know, it's not it's not the most ideal place for someone like me to be photographed. But I mean, I would have pinned it on someone else or something. If I if my photo and I would have denied that I was there. And I was there and then the kids are like, and there's helicopters circling up top. And it's about to pop off. I'm there, it's about 12, 30 at night.

And some kid comes up to me, he's like, what's up, bro? He goes, I'm a fan. I'm like, thanks, man. He goes, I think it's going down at one. I go, what is that? What would be that going? Where are we doing?

Who's that and why? He goes, well, they're gonna come in with like tear gas and rubber bullets and everything at one. I was like, well, that feels a lot, you know? I feel I'm fine to go. I'm fine to kind of see people. I'm fine for meet and greet. But we don't want to start taking rubber bullets to the face, tear gas. It seems unnecessary. It's not. I didn't even know where the Bentley was parked because in these university campuses you get turned around. So I kept asking people

where it is and they were going in fatata and I'm like, no, Bentayga it's white and it has a red leather on the inside. And they were veryhelpful to finding the car to be honest, but that's fine They were friendly. They were nice. They were I get it, you know, they're not happy they get it's too Convoluted it's it's all it's we get it. You're mad at Israel, which is okay, but then it's also like Kilwide and George Floyd, it's very it's all over the place. There's no focus. This is what happens with these protests. There's no focus. It's all over the place. You know, they have a van where there's just this pro-Palestinian speaker, but he's not real. They're just playing his speech over and over again, and he's like, he has a British accent and he's like, the United States, France and Israel are wrong and he just keeps doing this

all. And I wondered if we could just get a van and play this show, if I could play this show over and over again outside of these encampments. But all in all, it was a good time. The kids were awesome. They were big fans. You know what I mean? Hey, I came there to kind of shake some hands,

do a few selfies, you know, just kind of experience it, see what it was, feel what it was like to be in college again, which what it was, feel what it was like to be in college again, which I never was. So for me, it was kind of like a summer camp. But again, brief, just a little bit like let's jump into it. These kids are in Hamas. They don't have it.

You know what I mean? They just don't have it. You can't be in Hamas and be excited to see me. You know what I mean? Like, you know, they don't have it to be in Hamas and be excited to see me. You know what I mean? Like, you know, they don't have it to be in Hamas. So this episode that's coming out that you're listening to right now that's about to come out, nothing that I say in it, I take back and it's pretty much the same thing I say.

But, you know, going there and seeing it, it was nonviolent. They were not being violent when I was there at all. It was very, you know, it was an environment where Jewish people probably wouldn't be comfortable. You know, I, you know, again, it was like, it didn't seem like anybody there was being overtly threatening to anyone else. But again, I was there for a half hour. What it seemed like was a bunch of kids who were mad and felt like they had to do something and they were doing it to whatever, you know, to the best of their ability. That's what it felt like.

But the reality is we're not going to let kids, college kids take over universities in this country. You know, the cops have a monopoly on violence in this country. And in most civilized countries, the police have a monopoly on violence, meaning that if you riot, if you caused damage to property, if you are using violence, you are going to be confronted by the police. This is not to say the police are always great or the way that they handle things are great. But you, you know, look what happened at that autonomous zone in Seattle called Chazz, right?

After a few weeks, everybody started shooting each other. What happens to the Columbia encampment if left, if they don't break it up or the UCLA encampment or any of these encampments, what goes on? How long? Do people just get sick of it? You know, so I was happy I was there on the last night. It felt like it was like a big night. It was kind of an event. It was fun to kind of be on the edge of the rioting, the police, but not fully be there for it. I thought it was very good. It was because it was like danger in the air and I kind of like it was fun. And I liked it. In the future, I should there have been better appetizers? Yeah. Should there have been people

passing trays? Yeah, I get it now. All the food that I was criticizing. Now I get it because I get it now, all the food that I was criticizing, now I get it because I throw events and I throw parties and I know it does take, there is a certain kind of rhythm and flow to things that you need. This was very like scattered all over the place and I just, you know, but it was fun to be there and it was fun to see little militant Asian non-binary people walking around dressed like Muslims. If that's not a fun thing, if that's not a fun theme party, if you can't have fun there, where can you have fun? Tiny little non-binary Asians dressed up like Muslims in walkie talkies, running around. If that can't, if that doesn't satiate, you know, you want a little bit of that.

And this is what we've lost in America. Things are terribly corporate and terribly boring. And so when you see a tiny Asian dressed like a Hamas, it's fun. And I think it throws you, but in a good way. So, I mean, those are the lessons I learned from it. You know, I'm not gonna do much, you know, other than kind of show up, which I think really was all they kind of did. I just showed up for the last time. They all got pepper sprayed and rubber bulleted, and I think really was all they kind of did. I just showed up for the last time.

They all got pepper sprayed and rubber bulleted. And I get it, I get that's the whole, you're building that cred. You know, I get it, but it's just still not, it's a long way from, you know, Hamas. It really is. And I'm not saying that you should be Hamas, but I'm saying like, you know Fox News is like there's Hamas all over the college It's like that's not really what's going on

In the same way that people on the left think that the cops should not respond when the school Calls them in and says we have people vandalizing the property They're refusing to leave certain buildings. The cops are gonna come in and what do you think's gonna happen? So much of this show is Telling people how things are gonna work and so much of it is people getting angry at me because they don't like reality And they'd like to live in another place That's fine. I Don't love reality and they'd like to live in another place. That's fine. I don't love reality. It's why I live in Beverly Hills.

It, you can choose a place to live that doesn't resemble reality, but in reality, we are not going to let a college be taken over by tiny non-binary Asian little Hamas people who again I liked I liked them I ran into a Jew on the way in and let's say this he said to me I pulled over my car goes are you Jewish I go no he goes you look Jewish I said stop and he goes what are you and I said Irish and he goes oh you look actually more Irish and then he goes I'm Jewish I go how's it been over here it's getting rough right he goes well we're certainly outnumbered I go yeah I got a comedian

he goes yeah he goes what's your IG then he followed me on IG and then immediately he goes I'm launching an app for like nightlife. I go... I'm gonna put the scarf on if you keep going. I'm gonna put the scarf on if you keep going. So without further ado, here's the episode you're gonna hear. I just wanted to update you all. Uh, my journey as kind of a revolutionary and what it was like for that half hour until I found my Bentley and I went right to Bel Air. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show Let me say one good thing about Hamas

And I will say it unironically Hamas for all the negatives Okay They are Obviously deeply committed to a vision of the world. I do not share.

But here's the thing about Hamas, they kind of, you know, they're willing to die. They're putting their lives on the line. It's hard to take some of the student protests seriously when they make these demands and they go we want vegan and gluten-free food we want we want lotion no sunscreen because there are chemicals in sunscreen which is correct we want knee and elbow pads, rope and zip ties, helmet shields and wood, super bright flashlights with strobe Utility gloves, Canopies, rain ponchos, umbrellas, epipens, non-steroid inhalers, headlamps, organizational bins Hot food for lunch is important.

Vegan food, gluten-free food, ice, no packaged food, no coffee, no bagels. That's funny. No bagels. Well, the optics of it, right? The optics would be terrible eating a bagel. You know, it would be terrible. I get it. I'm with you.

Someone, they probably had a meeting where they're like, we can't be screaming about Israel while eating bagels. It'll look ridiculous. No bagels, no bananas, no nuts. Fill out this form if you're interested in coordinating a meal. Fill out this form if you're interested in coordinating a meal. And again, I don't tell anyone not to protest. I don't tell anyone how to feel. I simply am an observer. I think that it is natural for people to be upset about the course of the war and the things that Israel has done and people protesting is their right.

And I completely get that. I mean, going, I want gluten free vegan options for the protest. Again, it is a little well, because their whole thing is militancy, right? And the whole thing is like, we're hiding our face. We're, you know what I mean? Like we are, and a lot of them are, are kind of being... I think they're taking it a little far where it's like there is certainly the critique of Israel, which is understandable. But then some of them are kind of explicitly pro-Hamas. I believe that is the case with some of them. And I guess if you're going to be like to be pro-Hamas, but then also go, I want lotion.

You know what I mean? Like I want people to deliver lotion to the quad is a little silly. It's silly. But these are college kids and college kids are often silly. They're like, we're crusading against the great Satan and the military and all that stuff Yeah, it's hard That's hard That's not supposed to be easy. I

Mean you guys are talking about That you want real and I'm not saying again, I'm not Telling these college kids I Do not saying, again, I'm not telling these college kids, I have zero relationship to Columbia University at all. I remember as a kid, I wanted to go to Columbia Journalism School. Can you imagine that? I wanted to, because I wanted to be like a journalist,

and I am now I am now and the thing is if you go in and you break private property if you go in and break things and you use violence the state is going to respond because we are a society that has laws if you break those laws you will get Arrested now is the state going to use appropriate means? I don't know. I don't know what the NYPD is doing They're gonna use You know the flashes and the you know tear gas and what they do. This is what they do Riots don't usually make people more sympathetic to your cause.

Protests certainly can. But when you begin to riot and get very violent, people tend to look at you as an agent of chaos. And they go, we want order. And the side that presents order is usually the one that wins. Right after the George Floyd thing happens, we all go, yeah, the way police are handling suspects, particularly black suspects, is a big problem. Then a few months later, when we have all these cities being burned down

and riots day in and day out, the narrative completely changes. People are completely tired of hearing that we should abolish the police or get rid of the police. Not 24 year old kids in Bushwick. They think it's great. Maybe 44 year old kids in Bushwick think it's great. But the vast majority of people see this and they go, that's chaos. I think it's a little fun though. It seems to be fun.

There was one dude I saw. He's bleeding from the head. He was hot as fuck. If you can find him he was just bleeding and hot. There's no hotter way to be than bleeding and like if you're Columbia and you're bleeding and you're like in Hamas, how hot is that? But not real Hamas, vegan Hamas, you know? That's one of the hottest archetypes of person you can be. Being like a hot Hamas, how hot is that? But not real Hamas, vegan Hamas, you know? That's one of the hottest archetypes of person you can be. Being like a hot, vegan Hamas, bloody dude who's all ripped and then the blood is trickling down your abdominal muscles and you're like, hey ladies, and then you just hate fuck a

bunch of Jews. What's wrong with that? It's college, it's college. Are you there to have fun or not? There's a lot of Jew hate fucking going on right now. And I wish I had a Jewish pussy of Columbia getting beaten up. I wish my big Jewish pussy was in the Quad at Columbia just taking it from a bunch of sexually frustrated quasi, you know, militant dudes or whatever. There's a lot of great sex happening and nobody wants to talk about it, but it's true.

Figure it out, Columbia. Figure it out, colleges all over the place. Figure it out. Um, there was a lovely woman, there was a lovely woman on YouTube who I thought was very sweet. And she disagreed with a lot of what I've said about the Boomers. You know, I go out there and it's just part of one of my things, I talk about the boomers. And you know, the book is coming out around the holidays and it's a theme of my life because when I looked back and I was gonna write an autobiography, I wanted to write a book about my life,

but I realized that some of the most influential people in my life were actually not my friends. I love my friends and I grew up with them. But it was really their parents. And when I was friends with somebody, I was also friends with their parents. And it was because their parents were some of the funniest people I had ever met.

They were deeply selfish. And their relationships with you resembled more of a friend than somebody giving you guidance. So that's where the my kind of critique of the boomers came from. I really started thinking about this generation of people that is evaporating. They are going to start to die out. They're disappearing. But right now, they're making their last stand in a very hilarious way. They run the world. They're the CEOs of all the companies here,

the presidents, the congresspeople, the senators. They're there. They're out there. They're on social media. They're commenting. And they're very funny to me. And when I go at them, I do so hopefully in a funny way and an enjoyable way.

And obviously, if you're prone to like what I said on the diary of a CEO podcast that Millennials should go die in the Ukraine a lot of people got angry with that There are people that are allergic to humor and that's fine. They have an allergy to it They're incapable of grasping it even when you say you're a comedian and you Say something that is funny. they still don't get it. But this woman is actually very sweet and we're going to let her make her point. She has 13

minutes. We'll skip around here because it's a bit unfocused but she's basically saying that I am wrong about the Boomers but by the way she's an adorable sweet woman and I love her and I appreciate this and maybe I am. I'm always open to the idea that I'm wrong. And if one of these Hamas is from Colombia wants to come over, got to be hung. But if they come up, I'm willing to admit that I'm wrong. All right, let's watch this woman.

Dear boomers, Tim, by the way, let's just address this. There is a ticking in the back of this video for the majority of the video. I don't know what it is. It is a ticking. I don't know if she has a roast in the oven. I don't beginning where it's like boomers you know let's see what this woman has to say is wrong about his boomer bashing let me explain why he you know his act probably elicits lots of laughter lots of money lots of you know things that are money, lots of, you know, things that are what podcasters want. So his audience is filled with laughter about the baby boomers who, when you get old, you know,

you're useless basically. Or you've mistreated all of your children, you haven't given them the inheritance that they deserve, maybe because you didn't have any inheritance. And that's a possibility. So you know, comedy often stretches the boundaries of what is acceptable in society, but that's what makes it funny. So I don't, you know, I don't blame anybody for laughing at these things. But let me just say that boomer bashing kind of perpetuates a negative idea about stereotypes, and it does foster intergenerational resentment. Now, it also fails to acknowledge the diverse experiences and contributions within, you know, the

individuals within the baby boomer generation. And you know, I have, we often, I have a friend who is nearly my age. Not too many people are as old as I am. That's not true. But we often say, you know, if I say, if we're going to go out and go do something. I'll say, what do you think I should wear? What kind of shoes should I wear? And she'll say, don't worry about that. Nobody cares what you wear and nobody's watching. And the thing is we always make a joke about how we aren't being valued basically as women when we get older. So that may or may not be true. And I think, and that represents- So by the way, this is my favorite thing about the video. I do think she's adorable. And I do love this.

What this will be, which is the most boomer thing ever, it is what I believe to be, and I have not seen the full video yet, this I believe will be a litany of complaints. So number one, she goes, Tim Dylan's wrong about the boomers. Then she immediately goes, my friend goes, no one cares what shoes you wear. And she goes, because we're not valued as women

when we're older. So I'm like, okay, I don't know how that quite invalidates the stuff I say about boomers, but I do love this one. She is adorable, I do like her. But let but in my but I do love this one she is adorable I do like her um but let's keep going I I wonder where this goes it seems to be a bit all over the place that women baby boomer women or especially baby boomer women have become invisible in American society the men not so much they can do whatever is Nancy Pelosi

invisible get away with all kinds of stuff I have been dismissed in that invisible sort of way but in a way I kind of like being invisible and it makes me feel that I can basically do what I do without too much scrutiny. I love them so much. By the way, just pause this for a minute. I adore them so much. They are all the same. This generation of people is my favorite.

I'm telling you, I would rather spend time. I love the elderly. I love the boomers. I would so much rather spend time with these people than anyone else. I love them so much. It is, they're all, I love how she goes, there's diverse experience, no there's not. She proves in this video, there's really not.

It's the same DNA of person, because I love how immediately she's like, I've been made to feel invisible. I mean, this whole thing will just be, I'm the, she'll go, I'm the victim here. I'm actually the boomer, my generation is the victim, which is my thesis about the boomers is that they really can only express any emotion through grievance,

even when she's saying something like you know but it was good I like being invisible like even when she's turning it you know on its head and saying it's a positive thing they can only ever emit any type of frequency that's based in grievance so it's very funny she starts and she she goes, well, he's a comedian and he's funny and they try to be funny and that's what it does. And I'm sure he makes his money and whatever, but he's wrong. And here's why he's wrong. And then now it's a litany of the she's been ignored and she's been marginalized and the boomer men are out there, but the boomer women are not visible.

Like Hillary Clinton, the invisible boomer woman who ran for the presidency two times is invisible. Everything changes. I don't like feeling marginalized though. If that's, if that's, I don't feel marginalized because I work from an elevated state of consciousness in terms of emotions and feelings. And if people want to marginalize me, that's their right. And it is. Now, the generation gap when I was growing up was on full display and I can understand

why. We had the civil rights movement which was coming out of the closet. We had the Vietnam War which really caused a lot of division. By the way, isn't it funny how we've just used gay terminology. Now the civil rights movement has become gay. She's like the civil rights movement was coming out of the closet. I think she means the black civil rights movement, right? It's just funny the way that the gay terminology is now used. You know, she's like we had the civil rights movement which was coming out of the closet, and they were fabulous.

Rosa Parks was fabulous. She was coming out of the closet. And she was sparkling. Yes, Queen. It's just so hilarious. Keep going with this. Even though my family was opposed to the war, but there were people within my family. For instance, there was a time when my mother was totally opposed to the war,

and she actually knew every single battle that was taking place in Vietnam at the time. My uncle, Earl, who was a bishop in the Episcopalian Church at the time, he's no longer with us. Actually, he played cards with Eisenhower in World War II because he was a chaplain in World War II and he knew Ike very well. And one time we actually filmed, or not filmed, sorry, that was a long time ago, so we weren't filming, but we caught on audio a conversation between my mother and Uncle Earl. And I don't even have to listen to it to remember every single word that was said.

He was furious. He was all rattled. And she was, had just gotten up from a nap. She was calm, cool, collected. She was making her points about these generals in the Vietnam War and how they, we were killing a lot of people. Not just, not just the whatever enemy. No, there are no enemies. But my uncle Earl believed that there were. And we love him. He was an absolutely brilliant man. But, and he-educated. But my mother was uneducated and also came toe-to-toe with him in many different situations and they were considered the great generation, the greatest generation. Because my uncle was a bishop in the Episcopalian Church, he often did not come across anybody who countered anything that he believed or anything that he said.

Everybody believed that he had the ultimate knowledge because he was a bishop in the Episcopalian Church. The only person who ever went up against him. This is why, by the way, this is why I kind of want to die well before this woman because I don't want to be one day just being like, and then there was the Kilt Tony that I did. I was on Kilt Tony. And then I was on a Kilt Tony show. And then I, Theovon, Theovon was from the South.

And I talked to him. We had a talk. The Theovon, Theovon is from the south. And I talked to him, we had a talk. We talked to him about the homeless people and the door dash. And then there was, and Joe Rogan came into the green room. And he said you should do a podcast, which was like it was you know radio but on the so I do feel bad let's speed this up a little

bit I don't know if there's a point here is there the last two minutes are a little more cogent okay well and by the way I she's adorable and I'm I don't know what's happening with her uncle and Eisenhower, but all of it I'm sure gets somewhere. Let's listen to the last two. Oh, I think we're still recording. Oh, I think we're still recording. These situations arise where we make fun of our parents or we may not necessarily make

fun but we still criticize them long after their death. What sense does that make? A lot of it. A lot of sense. So anyway. It's better than criticizing them when they're alive. The wisdom of everybody has wisdom. Oh, everybody has the wisdom that they can share with you.

So to make you a better person, especially your parent, for God's sake, that's their job. So realize it's not funny to make fun of them. I although I think lots of things are funny, but I don't think it's fun for Tim Dillon to make fun of the boomers. And I don't think it's fun for all of us to make fun of our parents or to criticize the way they raised us, which of course some people have raised. I believe that no matter what happens, we should be very grateful for the fact that we came into this world

okay with people who were not yeah I know it's a hard case honey it's a hard case you're doing your best it's a hard case baby cakes just weren't unknowledgeable about children that's correct they weren't knowledgeable about children well now we're getting to it. Her parents divorced when she was three, and they put her in a Roman Catholic convent from three to 13. Yes, and isn't that lovely?

And barely ever visited her. That's nice. So that's good. That was her trauma. But let's not make fun of them, right? And I basically didn't understand what that was all about until later. And why?

Because she had these vibrations of abandonment. Okay, so what we want to do is let Tim Dillon know that there are certain boomers who are aware of his antics and his attitudes towards the baby boomers and ha ha ha, but not so much. Okay, yes, please subscribe to my channel I love you all love you as well. Peace on earth. Is it? Bye bye. Bye. Bye. All right. Well, there you go. That is the very cogent defense of the boomer woman who has Then Defended boomers by saying well,, my mother's parents were actually worse, they put her in a convent.

That was kind of all what it came down to. She goes, the boomers were fine. My mother actually was put in a convent by her family. So there you have it. There is the, can you get her whistling again? Just get her whistling one more time. This is the defense. This is decogent defense, by the way.

So here is boomers defending themselves against the charge that they have destroyed the world. Here it is right here. Oh, I think we're still recording. There you go. There it is. That's the boomers responding to the charge that they have destroyed the world. And again, I'm not even mad at them about that. I'm not even someone had to.

That's the point of my book. Someone had to. They did. And they did it in an adorable way. I'm the best gift giver of my book. Someone had to. They did and they did it in an adorable way. I'm the best gift giver in my family. Everybody loves it. Are you guys ready to win Mother's Day? Give the moms in your life an Aura digital picture frame preloaded with decades of family photos. Guys, this is one of those picture things

that actually is amazing. It's emotional. Most mothers start crying. She'll love looking back on your childhood memories and seeing what you're up to today. Even better, with unlimited storage and an easy to use app, you can keep updating mom's frame with new photos. What's the gift that keeps on giving?

The grandkids and all that. It is such a great gift. I've seen people give this. I've given it myself. And I have sat there and I've just watched someone's face light up with joy. It's a great gift. And you know what, it's not a bazillion dollars.

Let's save a little money and still show our love for people. Right now, Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $30 off, plus free shipping on their best-selling frame That's a you are a Frames calm use code tim at checkout to save I'm telling you this right now

This is the best gift you can get for your mother It is not going to break the bank and it is an absolutely amazing way To show that you are a thoughtful person that you've taken the time To organize your memories and present them to your mother in a way that shows her how important she was to you it is Truly amazing Ellen DeGeneres is angry now and she's you know This show covered Ellen the downfall of Ellen, but she is angry. Now if you remember before Ellen was made to leave TV, there was some

information that came out that she was putting her interns on crosses and crucifying them in the back of her show and she was engaging in behavior that people didn't like. She was torturing people that worked for her. I've known Ellen DeGeneres as a figure, not personally, but as a figure since I'm a child. But I know people that have worked for Ellen and that have been around Ellen, and Ellen is a tough bitch.

She's no joke. She's got a great real estate portfolio, we do respect that but she likes to torture People that is what she gets off on like a Roman Emperor like Attila the Hun Any of the Huns probably but there are historic figures That have been similar to Ellen Throughout history There are historic figures that have been similar to Ellen throughout history

These are people who enjoy going through the town lighting the thatched roof houses on fire Watching the people scurry out of their houses as it burns and then raping their children in front of them. This is the type of person and then by the way and no judgment no judgment here this sounds like I'm saying negative things what I'm using is very descriptive words okay um Ellen shares a lot of qualities with that type of person, kind of a marauding cannibal warlord. She took a moment to acknowledge the controversy that surrounded her talk show Ellen when it concluded May 2022. She joked that she was kicked out of show business for being mean.

Her comments referenced the public allegations of a toxic workplace that came out ahead of the talk shows. And she continued in her comedy routine that she became the most hated person in America. She was not. She was not. No one really cared. She was just around for too long. Here's the thing. You can't be around forever. It people get sick of you. There is a natural you know aversion that people have

to like inevitability. You know, that's one of the reasons people say Hillary Clinton lost. She was inevitable. People just felt like something was being shoved down their throat every moment. Ellen DeGeneres was on television forever. In every decade, Ellen DeGeneres pretty much was around and she had her show for a really

long time. And I think towards the end of it, instead of bowing out gracefully, they had to kind of force her out by talking about some of the things that she didn't, and she didn't like the way her talk show ended. She's upset about that. She should have controlled. That's what a controlled demolition is. You control how it goes down. She couldn't, she couldn't do that. She didn't have a say in how she, but what did, what did you want? I mean, the whole thing is being turned on its head. Ellen actually got out at the right time. She got out at the right time.

got out at the right time. She got out at the right time. Stock prices are crashing. People's money's getting fucked with. There are strikes. You know, what else did this woman want? She got incredibly successful. And she was kind of a dick to a lot of people. And that's okay. of a dick to a lot of people and that's okay. She didn't kill anyone. She's just, you know, she wasn't fun. Now part of the problem was that on her television show she was fun. She was goofy. She liked to dance and I miss her because she'd be dancing right now for Israel and I think that would be fun to watch. Ellen DeGeneres right now would be dancing and that would be good. Ellen of course we all know is in the CIA. She's friends with the Bush family and she's in the Central Intelligence Agency. It is not rare that people in entertainment are recruited by the CIA. Ellen is in the CIA.

There's nothing wrong with that. But she would be dancing right now for Israel. Ellen right now would be on television talking about the need to go into a RAFA, is it, in Palestine? Ellen right now would be talking to an Israeli general on her show about the need to go into Rafa and turn those people into soup. That's what she'd be doing because that's what her show was about. Every now and then they snuck in like a national security thing like and I've brought it up a million times.

They're not going to go through it. You can look it up. I've repeated it a million times after the Stephen Paddock thing. One guy saw Stephen Paddock alive. His name was Jesus Campos. He was a security guard at Mandalay Bay. He's on Ellen, which is a fucking daytime talk show with and they have a whiteboard up. And he's showing them how Stephen, but this guy's done no interview since. I think he did one interview with Hannity that was like heavily scripted,

but he's sitting down with Ellen with a whiteboard and a diagram of the whole thing that went down with Stephen Paddock. Not a journalist, not any credible news person with Ellen, who five minutes before this was like, I don't know, doing the box step with her, you know, brain dead studio audience. And now she's interviewing this, the one man to see the largest mass shooting in America, the one man to see that guy, she's interviewing. So they call her in when they need her. She was the daytime TV, I'm telling you. She just got a photo of that if there's new fans of the show

or people who haven't seen it. Hazel's campus in Ellen, it's unreal if you haven't seen it, it's the most unreal thing you'll ever see. Get it up and they're right. Right. And they go, there's a diagram there. What is it? What is that? This is a big check. Oh, that's a big check. Well, what does she give him? She probably gave him money.

She probably fucked with him, too. So there's a that now look, look at at get I want everyone to look at this. What kind of daytime talk show is this? She's dressed like she works for North Korea. She's in a North Korean outfit with a pointer telling him how it happened. If you watch the clip, she's not even allowing him, she goes, this is what happened, right? What kind of day did I take it? So make no mistake, if Ellen right now was on her show, she would be, it would be Ellen,

and it would be Bibi Netanyahu, and they would be doing disco, and they'd be in disco outfits dancing and she would be talking about the importance of going into Rafa to deliver the civilian aid. That's where so Ellen's really not upset about not being on she's upset about not being in the game anymore because they need people to be in the game. Ellen was in the game for a minute and now she's not in the game. She's been benched. I don't know where the fuck

she is. Montecito, Hawaii, wherever that bitch lives, she's fine. The bitch she dated went into a house. Ann Haish. Remember Ann Haish? Can we talk about this for a minute while we're having fun? This show is for entertainment purposes only. Anne Hayesh, who was Ellen's main bitch for a long time, ended up... Look at the car that Hayesh went in! This is nuts! So this is Ellen's first wife Ends up going in and I'm not trying to do QAnon here. I don't know. I don't know what happened I'm not saying that they got rid of Anne Hayes. Don't accuse me be doing QAnon

I'm just saying just from knowing Ellen From being but this woman ends up What did she do she She crashes into a house. She was like drinking and she was driving around kind of like Ocean Park Venice area and then drove into a home. Well, that's not great. And that's what that's what happened. And that was Ellen's first wife, right?

Yeah, partner. Ellen's first partner ended up drinking and driving into a house. I'm not saying I'm just saying that that's a negative thing. Did Ellen make a statement about, did Ellen say anything about, I'm going to get myself killed if I don't shut my mouth. She's got a lot more money than me, that woman. Did Ellen even address this? Let's see, how inhuman would, let's see if Ellen addresses Anne Hayes into the house. Okay, hold on. How inhuman would, let's see if Ellen addresses an Haitian to the house. I miss Ellen in these troubled times because Ellen was the Illuminati buddy on daytime TV and she would get everybody

like eating cupcakes. And then she would bring out the whiteboard and the pointer and tell everybody what was really going on. Here you go. Uh, in response to being asked if she will be giving well wishes for Ann's recovery, DeGeneres said, I don't want anyone to be hurt. Uh, what? Paparazzi like caught her outside in Santa Barbara. She was like walking. She didn't do any official statement though Well, what are you gonna do But Ellen's Ellen's upset, but I wish she was back now. I

Wish she was back because you need someone like that the country needs someone like that that they can call on the red phone Ellen's a red phone. They get a red phone in the green room They call directly on the red phone Someone high up in the Biden administration calls and they go to red phones ringing. And she goes in and goes, yup, yup, okay. Okay, she goes, discuss the importance of our tradition of protesting,

but also that a lot of the chemicals used on the children are non-toxic. Okay! And then she'd get out there and she'd start dancing immediately. She'd be flossing, she'd be doing like all the fucking whatever, the Fortnite dances and everything. And then she would just be doing that dumb thing they do. And then she'd get out and she'd be like, we have a great traditional protest in America And there's nothing and listen a lot of the chemicals being used on these children are non-toxic

And that's what we have to remember that it's just like getting a little saline water in your eye. That's it Nothing, you know, she is She we lost a very important leader in our country. I don't know what she's doing now and I don't care. But I do, I do wish her well. Meghan Markle's jam, they're now Buckingham Palace is released jam. Is this how it ends? Is this how our shit civilization ends?

People that are releasing dueling jams? Is this how our shit civilization ends? People that are releasing dueling jams? Is this how this civilization ends? This is the war that these people are having? They're just releasing different kinds of jam? They should come up with a commemorative Princess Diana jam and say, fuck you, Meghan. A Princess Diana jam. A Blackberry jam. I love Blackberry, or Blackcurrant

and it should have Princess Diana's face on it holding one of those African infants and the jam should say now this is black and it's a hit on Markle being mixed race that's what the palace should do. Now this is a black jam, and it's Princess Diana holding an African infant, and it says, blackberry jam, nothing is blacker. And just so, let's kick it up. Let's turn up the heat on this.

Let's turn it up. I read this article about the long, slow death of urban nightlife. I read this article about the long slow death of urban nightlife. I thought this was interesting because people are going out less. People are... now all I know is people that are going out a lot. All I see, you know, and I think we get a skewed idea because we go on social media and all we see is people that are going out and they're drunk. But apparently they're not going out enough.

Soaring costs, safety concerns, noise complaints are strangling after dark economies from London to Montreal. But campaigners aren't going down quietly. Well, I mean, a lot of you know, some of these young, good looking college kids end up getting thrown in the river after they've gone out. We've covered that a few times. You know, it is dangerous out there. There are people that will take advantage of you

if you are intoxicated. You have to have a good friend group. And if you're a woman, I mean, forget it. Of course you are vulnerable. So I think a lot of people for whatever reason are deciding that they don't want to be out like that anymore. I don't I don't know I'm older and I don't I'm not as connected to it but I think more people are deciding to stay you know to go out maybe for special occasions.

They don't have as much money. People are also spending more time in their houses on computers. And they're just, they feel maybe more connected through digital means than they do going out to a club. I don't know, but people are upset about this. Like people are, people are, and this follows a lot of, you know, what I've been talking about,

we've talked about it on the Patreon and stuff, is like the cities in America kind of feel like ghost cities now. Like the downtowns don't feel nearly as busy as they did pre-COVID. You know, and a lot of these clubs and music venues and bars, they're going out of business because people are just not in these places the way they used to be.

I also think, you know, for example, in the early 2000s when I was growing up, there was this idea that the best life you could have was partying. This was the best life. Nothing was better than partying. Let's get fucked up now. Let's go to Cancun. Movies like The Hangover. It was this fun idea of a button.

I love that movie. It's a bunch of guys would go to a foreign country and get fucked up. That's the meaning of life. When I was growing up now, I think people, in country and get fucked up. That's the meaning of life. When I was growing up, now I think people, that idea is being challenged in people's head. People start going, I don't know if I want to spend my 20s in a haze. And then when I get to 30, have nothing, have no money in the bank, not know what I'm gonna do, and just have been used as a pawn by all these companies

telling me to drink and get fucked up, because it comes on strong, that marketing from when you are caught, you know? Saturdays are for the boys, Saturdays are for the boys. It's like, yeah, okay, but maybe, maybe if you don't have a house or an apartment, no day is for the boys. You got every day is to get it together. Every day is to get it together. But that's a big thing in America now. It's like, it's time for you to just fucking relax, crack open a brewski with the butt. Like there's a big push for alcoholism in the country. As things get worse, there's a push for alcoholism. All of

these real housewives type shows, they're always encouraging women to go out and drink. Get fucked up. All we tell people to do now in this country, if they're young guy is gamble and get drunk. That's all we tell them to do. Get drunk and gamble. Get drunk and bet. Get fucked up with your friends and bet. That's all we tell people that's pretty much the ethos of America. If you are a 21 year old dude in this country, the two messages you're getting all the time

are get fucked up and bet on things because that's fun. You could win. Those are the two messages we're sending people. Life's a party. Life's a party and it's a casino. Life's a big casino. You can win. You want to get fucked up and win or not, pussy? You want friends or not? All your friends are in the casino getting fucked up go watch the fight go watch the fight and get fucked up and then bet i'm not saying you can't do those things i'm telling you that this is the only thing we are turning america into a big casino now after this they're probably going to put some ad right after this where I am telling you to bet well what do you want me to do I'm just I they I get it hey folks well what are you gonna do exactly as I

predicted testing my skills on prize picks this playoff basketball season is the most simple way to get in on the action you just select two or more players pick more or less on their projected stats and submit your lineup prize picks is the most fun I've had winning up to a hundred times my money this basketball season quick withdrawals easy gameplay an enormous selection of players and stat types are what makes prize picks the number one fantasy sports app. I made my first $10 deposit and received an instant $10 bonus. If you have the skills, you can play for a shot

turning over your $10 into a thousand. I mean, is it, does it get better than this? Does it? Playing and winning. I love it. I do it all the time. And my friends and family do. This week on PrizePicks, I'm looking at the Playoff Basketball Board and selecting Anthony Edwards for more than 29 points.

How about that? Chad Holmgren for more than 2 blocks and Paul George for more than 4 3-pointers made. Jalen Brunson for more than 30 points, and Tyrese Halliburton, great last name, for more than 10 assists. Kevin Durant for more than 28 points,

and James Harden for more than nine assists. It's fun, you having fun and you're betting, and that's what life's about. Really? I mean, you know, who am I, what am I? I'm gonna not get into this. Download the app today and use code TIM for the first deposit match up to a hundred. Download the app today and use code TIM for a first deposit match up to a hundred.

Pick more, pick less. It's that easy. Reasonable rational adults should be able to bat. I'm saying we're telling young people that life is a casino and we're telling them that the most important things they can do are, are, are, you know, make the most of it. You only go to college once. You're only this age once, buddy. Make the most of it. Get You're only this age once buddy make the most of it get fucked up and Sure some of that do some of do it do some of that

But I think it's just a little Hedonistic to tell everybody to get fucked up all the time and did their only route to wealth will be to rip someone else off or to gamble. By the way if you tell anyone that they should learn a craft right now they stare at you. They will stare if you talk to an 18 year old and go learn a crap they stare at you. All they want is some scam. They want you to put them on to some scam. Drop shipping.

Drops, they want to drop ship. That's all the people want to do. They want to set up a website for some product that they see going viral on TikTok that's being made by children in the Philippines. And then they're then setting up some website and making money for it. And that's all they want to do. That's all they want to do. That's what all of these, all this shit comes under drop shit. That's all it ever comes down to. All these like online gurus, all of it's just drop shipping there's nothing else it's not like

they're telling you to do anything else all of its drop shipping get up what drop shipping is to just explain to people that's all it comes to every time there's a kid on instagram who's like i was making no money and i dropped out of uni but then last year on last month I made five hundred thousand dollars and I bought my father a car dropshipping is when a person or a company sells goods on their website that they do not keep in stock so you're buying it from somewhere and then selling it on your website that's all these online gurus tell you to do that's all they tell you to do is just drop ship that's it that's everybody wants it That's all anyone wants to do if you're under the age of 25.

That's all these people want to do is drop ship. I just want to buy things on Alibaba and sell them on the website. That's all these kids want and gamble. And then I can gamble. I take that money that I've earned and I go back. It's all a big casino. We're turning it into a casino. And by the way, everything looks like a casino now. Have you ever walked into a new condo? It's a casino.

It's a casino. Go walk in any new condo. It's a big marble wall. There's a waterfall. Everything looks like a casino. Every piece of architecture right now looks like you're walking into Vegas. It all looks like a Steve Wynn property. It's all fountains and granite and you know like a travertine and marble. It's to make you believe

that you're in a casino. Grandeur and opulence. It's to make you live in a permanent state of fucking bedding. It's keeping you high Keep you high What do you got? What do you got? But this is all, it's funny because sometimes you You go through these people's videos, one video after another video after another video And you know You go, what are they talking about? What are they talking about? They say, oh Bill This is my journey of being 19 years old and building a fucking empire

This is my journey of being 19 years old and building a fucking empire. This is my journey of being 19 years old and building a fucking business. I dropped out of uni and my parents was like, you're crazy. But then I built my own business. I've got 17 businesses right now. And then you go, okay, what is it? And every all of it, once you just get to what it really is, it's just drop shipping. That's all it is. It's just drop shipping. And I'm not, listen, I'm not hating on people. I just, it's, it seems not everyone can be a drop shipper, right? That can't, that won't work if everyone's just drop shipping all the time, buying things on this Alibaba and then selling. And it's just crap. The things that drop shipping are crap. Like one, it was like a Corona beer can

that was also a water gun. That was a kid made a fortune on that. So they just wait to these products are going viral on TikTok and then they just set up a website. I was in uni and I was like, I'm not reading all this Shakespeare and all this faggot shit. I'm going to be a fucking drop shipper.

And now I drop ship. That's all it is. It's all it comes down to. And everything, and it's again, it's part of this idea that learning a craft and being good at something is a big waste of time. If you're a young person, it's really interesting. If you're a young person right now, being good at something, mastering some type of craft is a complete waste of your time. Everybody is telling you to just gamble. That's all you got. Get rich quick. Our parents had that bullshit, you know, the fucking buy real estate, no money down the tax lien scams, all that stuff. They would come on late at night and you know, they'd have QVC and all that crap. And you

know, antiques roadshow was the boomer way to do this. The boomers thought that like, fuck, I got a fucking desk that fucking Aunt Carol left. Like maybe that was like the boomer casino was Antiques Roadshow. Like the idea that you would have like a something precious, an heirloom. Maybe there's a copy of the Declaration of Independence in the back of that photo. And you've watched, it's funny because now it's just you've seen every, everything in this reality now turn into a game. It's a game. It's a casino and a game. And that's what we basically have. And that's why everywhere you look feels feels like a casino all of these cities feel like Macau all these new buildings in New York City feel like

you're walking into a Macau casino you go why why is what is this why do you have orange marble everywhere why is there waterfall, these big plants, these tropical plants? Because you're supposed to feel like you're on vacation all the time. Because when you're on vacation, you're splurging. Take it! Take the money, you start throwing it in the air. That's the way they want you to feel now all the time. They want you to feel like you're a vacation dad all the time. Just throw the money, throw the fucking money, gamble.

It's fun. Well, you know what we're talking about right now. You know what we're talking about? I bought a spring has sprung and that means spring cleaning. Whether that means stocking up on cleaning supplies or swapping out your winter clothes for new spring clothes, make sure you're using iBotta and get real cash back with every purchase. iBotta is a free app that gives you the most cash back every time you shop on hundreds

of items from groceries to beauty supplies to toys. So you can make sure you're beating inflation no matter what you're purchasing. The average iBotta user earns $256 per year. That could cover the cost of an entire shopping trip. That flight you've been eyeing or the fancy dinner you've been craving. Boom! Covered with the savings from Ibotta. Join the over 50 million users and earn cash back every time you shop now from over 2700 brands and retailers

including all your favorite grocery stores Lowe's, Macy's, Sephora, Best Buy and more. Right now iBotta is offering our listeners five dollars for just trying iBotta by using the code TIM when you register. You get five dollars for free. Just go to the App Store or Google Play Store and download the free iBotta app to start earning cash back. Use the code T-I-M. That's iBOTTA in the Google Play or App Store. Use code T-I-M. That's I-B-O-T-T-A in the Google Play or App Store. Use code T-I-M.

Sad story here. Epidemic of elderly people being scammed over the phone. Now it's turned deadly. An 81-year-old man ended up fatally shooting an Uber driver because he wrongly believed she was going to kill him. But she was unarmed, and they both were victims of an elaborate scam. Les Trent does more, and we warn you the video is upsetting.

This terrifying video shows an elderly man pointing a gun at an Uber driver. She had driven to his home to pick up a package. And she is backing away because he has just shot her in the leg. 61 year old Lolita Hall cries out for help and frantically tries to explain why she's at his home. The deadly confrontation has caught on the Uber driver's dashcam and ends with the homeowner

shooting her two more times. I need to care for the ambulance real quick out here. There's been a shooting. I saw her in the leg the first time and I saw her in the shoulder. William Brock tells 911 that he shot the Uber driver because he had just been threatened on the phone by a total stranger and thought they were working together. Guy on the phone trying to get money out of me.

He was telling me he was gonna kill me and the family and everybody else around. You can hear on the 911 call the wounded woman pleading for help. So why did the 81 year old Brock believe the Uber driver was there to harm him? Investigators say it appears they were both victims of a scam.

Cops say the elderly man received a call from a scammer threatening his family and telling him that a relative had been arrested. The scammer ordered Brock to pay $12,000 or else. Cops say at the same time an Uber driver unaware of the circumstances received instructions through the Uber app to pick up a package at Brock's home in South Charleston, Ohio. Here's my problem with all of this and this is what makes it difficult for me. I'm obviously against him shooting her but I'm for these scams Like I am pro the scam like I am pro like calling old people and getting whatever you can out of them Because really what are they doing? They're sitting in their house. They've got a bunch of money. They're not using

The reality is you should be able to call them and get whatever you can out of them. Because what are they doing with it? You know, so even so these scams, I completely understand and I think are, you know, part of our national culture, and part of our national spirit. But it's, it's very sad to see this woman being killed. And we don't want that to happen. And this is just a really unfortunate confluence of events where you have people that are just kind of honestly calling old people to take their money. And you have this woman getting some message from the Uber app to go pick up a package. And by the way, I don't love this Uber package. I know that you like it. And a lot of people like it where people take packages

from somewhere and give them to someone else. This stuff's gonna happen more and more. A lot of people in this country are deeply paranoid and very sick. And if you go on their property, they'll kill you. They don't care what you're there to do. They don't care if you're there to pick up a package or not. There's a lot of deeply schizophrenic people in this country that are heavily armed. They don't care what you're there to do. They don't care if you're there to pick up a package or not.

There's a lot of deeply schizophrenic people in this country that are heavily armed. As things get crazier, as the news gets crazier, as people are more on edge as we head into the election, if you're going on someone's property and you don't know who they are and you're going to pick up a package, you are genuinely taking your life in your hands. You don't know if that's the day

that this person's gonna fucking snap. We don't know. You don't know. This is the time to stop with the delivery. I hate to say it. If you are a delivery driver, take the next six off. Take the next six months off, go do something else. This is gonna be, it's gonna be more and more of this.

It's gonna be more and more of like mistaken identity. You're gonna show up to hand somebody a burrito, they're just gonna open the door and just kuk kuk, puh, you know what I mean? Like I'm telling you, if you have, if you have the financial ability to take the next six months off through the election and not be out there like that delivering stuff,

this is the if there was ever a fucking time to not be a delivery person, right now is the time. If there was ever a fucking time, because I'll tell you as things as we move and we inch closer to the election I mean it's people are going to you're going to be a sitting duck it's going to be target practice when you they're going to forget they ordered the thing someone in their house will order something and a guy like that would be like, what are you doing? What do you stay where you are? Stay exactly where you are No, grandpa. I

Ordered door to shut up get in the house Stay where you are It's gonna be like a standoff People are gonna die in this country Yes, stay where you are. It's going to be like a standoff. People are going to die in this country holding a five guys back. You know what I mean? This is how bad it's going to get. People's last words in this country are going to be, it's cheesecake factory. Cheesecake Factory

How many people are gonna die holding a fucking Arby's bag and just a bloody hand That's your last words Are gonna be trying to get a schizophrenic to understand that you're just there to deliver fucking food? You're trying to get a schizophrenic to understand that you're you're just there to deliver pizza to their junkie granddaughter or grandson? Listen, it's I know it's midnight but is there a junkie in your home? I'm here with five guys. That's what it's gonna be. A lot of people get out of rehab, go live with their grandparents, it's a nice change

of venue. The parents are like, you live with grandpa and grandma because you're not going back to hang out with your old friends. Those junkies are gonna be post-mating, door-dashing, uber-eatsing food late at night. The grandparents are going to be like, what the fuck's going on? And they are going to come out on the porch with a loaded gun, and they're going to kill the delivery person. You see it all the time.

And yeah, is it an American way to die? Of course it is. There is no more American way to die? Of course it is. There is no more American way to die than to be shot delivering food to some junkie at midnight or 1 a.m. But I'm telling you if it is in your power to take a little time off right now, to take a little time off, to take a little sabbatical. You don't want to be wandering onto people's properties in the next few months. The heat of the summer. Ooh.

People sitting there all day, he's sticking to that plastic chair. I'm ready. They're just ready. That man sits in his household day, ready to kill someone. He's just ready to kill somebody. He's ready. He's ready to be activated, mobilized. He's ready to kill.

And see this, if he didn't kill her, it would be nice because this is one of those things where it's like, Ellen could have them both on. You know what I mean? Like she would have them both on. And Ellen would be like, there was a really disturbing story that came out of rural Tennessee,

but all's well that ends well. Please welcome the UPS, the Uber package driver, and the man with the gun. And the audience is like, yeah! And they come out and Ellen's like, do do, stayin' alive! And the dude's stayin' like, do do, staying alive. And they're just staying alive. And just the Uber driver and this guy, they're just doing staying alive.

And then she's like, and next, Bibi Netanyahu tells us why we need to make the entire nation of Palestine into a waffle. Well, we hope everybody finds a way to survive this summer. I'm just telling you, get out of the streets, get out of that game. It's a tough game. It's a hard game. And it's something that I would definitely urge you not to be a part of. The great rhyme in Auditorium Nashville, June 29th, 2024. Austin is sold out. We're going to be at Comedy Works in Denver. Have a little fun there if you want to grab some tickets to that.

Atlantic City tickets are moving. Ovation Hall at the Oceans Casino if you're in New Jersey. Schenectady, New York, Port Chester, New go grab tickets to Ryman, one of my favorite rooms in the world. We love it. We're very excited about the Ryman. We will see you all next week. We'll see you on Patreon. And we wish you all continued success, continued health. Be very careful out there if you're delivering. I know there's a lot of delivery people that listen to this show. Be very careful. And to that lovely woman, let's get her one more time. Let's get up again. This is the great defense. This is the boomers have been accused of squandering the nation's resources

and destroying its character and its sense of reality and here's how they respond Oh, I think we're still recording there it is folks good night