The Tim Dillon Show - 392 - Eurovision & Jerry Seinfeld's Pop-Tart Movie

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

Tim examines watching atrocities in a grocery store, finance guys being overworked, the Pop-Tart movie, Gaza influencers, Eurovision and the collapse of the restaurant industry.  American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://www.timdilloncomedy.com/ SPONSORS: Liquid Death Go To LiquidDeath.com/TIM For Free Shipping Blue Chew BlueChew.com & Use Code: ‘TIM’ Morgan & Morgan For more information go to forthepeople.com/tim Ibotta Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app to start earning cash back and use code TIM. Thats I B O T T A in the Google Play or App Store and use code TIM Express VPN Go To ExpressVPN.com/TimDillon ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. We are sorry we missed last week. I was at the Kill Tony show at the Forum in L.A. What an epic night of comedy. I believe you can still purchase that for the Netflix is a joke festival. I appreciate that. I was in the elevator with the CEO of Netflix and I, you know, was very shook my hand.

He said, people say nice things about you. And I said, thank you. And I was in the elevator with my agent, and I was just telepathically saying, my agent just don't say anything. And he didn't. Well, the CEO was a very nice guy. You know, we have a lot of fun with people on the show and you never know who's upset or not

We don't know We'll revisit that later because we got to talk about a few things I don't want to talk about we got to talk about this new Seinfeld film and I don't want to do it This is not the part of the job. I really enjoy doing to be quite honest with you Because I love and respect many people in that film. I Do have to discuss it though. I do have to discuss it though. I actually have to talk about it. It's happening.

It's something that is happening in the culture. That film, Unfrosted, the story of the Pop Tart. I have to discuss it. And I think he gave a great commencement speech at Duke. And there was only a few young kids that walked out. And the media acted like everybody walked out, like the entire crowd got up and jeered at Jerry Seinfeld and then stormed out of the graduation.

But that's not what happened. There was a few kids that were protesting him, I guess, for being Jewish, because it's not like he was doing a commencement speech going, kill them all. You know, that's not what he was doing. He wasn't up there being like, they shouldn't even get aid. Like, that's not what he was doing. Why would they get aid? Humanitarian aid? I can't really even, but the point is he's not doing that. He's just talking about, you know, political correctness or whatever he's on now.

And I think he made a lot of good points about you're gonna need your sense of humor. You're gonna need your sense of humor. And a couple of people laughed and they got mad. But I thought he did a great job. But we gotta discuss that movie. Because I mean, the scenes I've seen, here's what I would say.

In Gaza right now, I have seen some of the most horrible things that I have ever seen on my phone. You look at your phone and you see children crushed by rubble, bleeding, I mean, in the work, any moral person cannot look at these images and not be affected. This Pop-Tart thing, worse, worse, somehow. More disturbing.

It's actually more disturbing than the Gaza images. And they are bad, I just said that. I just said that. So don't come at me and yell at me now. I just told you. So don't come at me and yell at me now. I just told you, these images are, I've never seen anything and they're all over the place and they're on your phone. This would have changed the way people felt

about the Iraq War. If you were in the grocery store and there was a live feed from Abu Ghraib prison where they were torturing people and you were at the deli counter in the grocery store and you were going, I have pound of cracked pepper turkey. Then you gotta stand there while they do it and you can't look too impatient because you have to go,

well, I'm a lucky guy that I don't do this, right? That's a whole game at the deli counter. You can't look too impatient. You have to take stock of the choices you've made and went, well, you know, that's right. You know, everybody will, they'll come out of this. They'll come out of this deli counter life and they'll go somewhere else, I'm sure.

But you know that's not happening. But you're just gonna stay there anyway and kind of go, I have power. And then you can't yell the next one until they've finished, you know, because they give you a look. If you're like, add some ham, no, you just, you do it. No, no, no, I'll get it. Well, well, no worries, don't worry.

And then there's someone next to you and you're all holding numbers, you're like, did they go? It's a whole thing. But if in that, during that process, when you were trying to figure out how quickly can I yell the next meat at this, you know, probably now, person with Down syndrome now that's working.

How quickly can I yell the next meat at this this thing behind the counter so that I don't look bad? You know, sometimes you go and you yell three meats and the person Down syndrome is just like, give me. And I go, yeah, that's right. You're right. I'm wrong. It's true. And I go yeah, that's right. You're right. I'm wrong. It's true If during that time you pulled out your phone let's say it's 2004 and you you were just you know or 2003 four five whatever and you pull out your phone and You just saw a live feed of Torture from Abu Ghraib just these naked guys that were shivering and pissing and shitting themselves and being beaten by guards

and being woken up in the middle of the night and screaming and having night terrors and then being stacked up on top of each other. All the while, you were waiting at the deli counter for a cracked pepper turkey, maybe a honey turkey, a boar's head ham, a black forest ham, whatever the case may be, pound of macaroni salad, pound of potato salad.

If you were waiting at the deli counter and you were just watching people being, I mean, you hear screams. You hear, if you take your phone out now, on any app, by the way, I don't even, I'm not even on TikTok like that. I'm usually, I'll go on Instagram and just post a link to a show like I have at the Ryman in Nashville in June. That's what they call integration. And I will just take it out and then, you know, you know, you get a few cooking videos, you know, and then

And it's people running and fleeing this onslaught of Bombing and you just have to close it pretty quickly Or or something every now and then someone will catch you watching people screaming and fleeing and you just have to kind of look at them and shake your head. You have to go. You have to go like this. You have to go. Not good. And if you could, because it is a thing now, how much of the war can you consume? And how much of it can you consume publicly?

It's a new thing. It's a new, this is a new episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm that never came out because they ended the show. But it would be like Larry in a cafe watching the Gaza war and it would be very loud and it would just be like and then people would be like well you can you please put your phone on silent but it's terrible this is terrible this thing that we're all watching unfold and this mass starvation and the mass and and this pop tart film is worse than this in ways I can't explain.

It's actually work in ways where you go I'm watching babies get made into soup with my money and I didn't say yes. I did not co-sign any of it. And still, I would not switch over to this fucking Pop-Tart thing. Cause it's terrible. And I love many of the people in it. I went to Barry Weiss's wife's Book party the other night. I was there many other luminaries Lloyd blank find the head of a

Goldman Sachs Graydon Carter the head of Vanity Fair Ariana Huffington myself members of the New York media Elite were there Barry Weiss's wife Nellie balls has written a new book. Let's get it up It's called morning after the revolution dispatches from the Wrong Side of History Nelly Balls. Now let me explain to you what this book is about. It's not a political book. I thought it was more politics. Here's what it is. Barry Weiss's wife, Nelly, was shipwrecked in the Indian Ocean when she was a young reporter and survived for 30 days literally on a piece of floating scrap metal and she survived by eating her own pussy. For 30 days that's the only nutrition she got was eating

her own pussy. That's what this book is about. That's what this is about. So if you're interested in that, and I am, that's why I read it. It's crazy. Who would think to do it? But apparently if you're floating on a piece of scrap metal in the Indian Ocean, you just start eating your own pussy for sustenance. That's the whole thing. And it's good.

It's a good book. It's a little repetitive towards the end when she goes, and I, while eating my pussy again. But it's true. I wanted to talk about this young guy who died at Goldman Sachs because was it Goldman Sachs? Maybe it wasn't. It was a Wall Street firm. He was 35 years old and he died because I believe he was also a Green Beret. Yeah, he was a Green Beret. Bank of America. Bank of America and this guy died. This is sad. He was 35 years old and he died and no one, you know, he had a cardiac thing, right? Yeah, cardiac event.

Just something from two weeks after he completed a big deal. Right. So now nobody knows if, you know, but here's the deal. His death came after he had allegedly been working some 100 hours a week for several weeks in a row. So he had an acute coronary artery thrombus. I'm not a doctor and you know, now everybody's going, should these investment banking guys work 100 hours a week and die?

Yes. Yes, this is part of the thing. I defended this and I read, I actually wrote something, if you go to timdillandtalks.tumblr.com, this is something that I wrote years ago when this happened. One of the Goldman Sachs interns jumped out of a window and this this was a debate again, they always every now and then they have these debates in the finance world Should we be as hardcore as we are? And the answer always is yes. And this is something I wrote about this at the time. Again, I'm disgusted Goldman Sachs has banned the all-nighter and ordered interns to leave it midnight because one died in the shower and another jumped out of his window because

he was quote worked to death. Boo hoo hoo. If you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen. Finance is a culture about pushing yourself to the extreme and the all-nighter is a rite of passage for many young finance guys. If these guys wanted to be pussies, they could have been teachers. The reward is extreme wealth if you make it through this grueling process. People should die.

And everyone should pour out some Dom Perignon and move the fuck on. We never heard about this during the 80s when Wall Street was dominated by cocaine snorting alpha males. Now we've got a bunch of Adderall eating nerds raised under grassy and bullying seminars. So yeah, full of these, some of these tulips are gonna jump out of windows. These people are soldiers in the war of wealth. We've criminalized success in this country. We love failures and sob stories.

We cater to weakness. We've become an afterschool special. We've bought into the idea that people don't earn their money. It's put under their pillow at night. This idea helps all the nothings sleep at night. So let's bring back the all-nighter. I want these kids work to the brink of insanity. I want them jumping out of windows. I want them dropping dead of exhaustion. I want them tough. China's coming after all. Every litter has a run. The problem with

this country now is that everybody's a run. Every no-good town employee union stud should be worked to death. What a glorious way to die. What happened to Bob? He was worked to death. People get into finance because they don't want to end up janitors cleaning up some kids puke in the cafeteria. They have more to offer the world but sometimes they're wrong. Sometimes they're the janitor all along

but they can't face that. I don't blame them. So they decide that the manly thing to do is remove themselves from the equation altogether. They're correct. So they decide that the manly thing to do is remove themselves from the equation altogether. They're correct. So they try to fly from their window, but they end up splattered on the concrete. Jumping out of your luxury apartment window is better than never having a luxury apartment in the first place. Don't let anyone tell you different.

That's something that I wrote in, I don't know, I believe 2015? 2016? What I'm saying is this is not new. This is not new. None of this is new. None of these debates are new. All of these finance guys really go hard and occasionally somebody, somebody bites it and I don't, it's sad he had a wife and kids and I I understand the human cost But you know somebody has to die

It's sad stop showing his photo it's like he's from the beyond the grave creeping me out Need to look at his photo while I make this argument. I'm saying this. You want to respect... What if we said no one in the military can die? What if we said that? Would we ever say that? Nobody's gonna die. Imagine giving that speech at West Point and none of you will ever die. No people die all the time and This guy chose to dedicate his life to making exorbitant amounts of money Not even inhuman amounts of money. He wanted to close meteoric

deals massive success gobs of money, more money than most people listening to this show could ever imagine in their life, more money than I can imagine. He wanted the kind of money that inherently has some risk associated with it. Making that kind of money is not easy. It takes a strain on your physical and mental health emotionally. And if you want that kind of, we cannot protect you. If you want to be a spy, you may die.

If you want to be an elite athlete, you may die. You know, these are jobs that require more than what you should give. My job doesn't really do require that Not really. That's why I do it. That's why I do it. It requires just enough But an elite athlete it requires a lot you're gonna get up, you know When you're an elite athlete every day You have to get up every day in the morning and like do a you have you have to have a routine and Every morning because you're an elite athlete and you push your body to the left and some of those people they die

Some of those marathon runners are in great shape and in the middle of a marathon They go and they're done and that's just what it because you're pushing your body when you are trying to make mountains of money God God money money, money, money, sometimes you're going to drop dead. And unfortunately, that's what happens. And I know that we want to protect people from that. We want to try to create a world where that doesn't happen. But this guy's a Taipei guy. He was a green beret. This guy was a legit green beret and he didn't die there. He died on Wall Street. But what are you gonna do? You can't make Wall Street into something

That is different from what it is. It's a place where type-a people go To make more money than any human being should In questionable ways more money than any human being should. In questionable ways. They're not inventing anything. They're not, you know, it's not like they came up with this great idea. They're just low to the ground, sucking money out of the system,

keeping their ear low to the ground. And when you do that, sometimes you have to spend a lot of time. So instead of sleeping or treating your body, you know, you are out, you're not treating your body with the respect it deserves. You're out there making money and and and sometimes you have an event and it's unfortunate. But there's nothing to be done. This happens every few years. An intern can't take it. That's what I wrote that thing about. Every now and then an intern jumps out of there went well then well so what?

So what? What are we supposed to do you want it or not? Do you want the money or not? No one forced you to do this you could be a teacher in Minnesota You don't have to be a Wall Street guy It's like the military That's what I'm saying. It really is if you take it seriously Finance should be a religion

It has all the you know Characteristics of a religion you devote an inordinate amount of your time to something unseen that doesn't make a ton of sense but it's okay because it's like you know the idea that having a billion dollar a billion dollars is like God it's there but not for everybody and You want it? You don't know how you're gonna get to it But you know there's rituals that you can do to get you closer to that thing that you want and this guy wanted the big B He wanted a billion dollars

He probably wanted more they want to be billionaires these people and the way to do that is to sacrifice your physical and emotional well-being in Order to get there There's a lot of the comedies like that too. You try to be a comedian for years and you're broke and you sacrifice relationships With your friends and your family and you sacrifice, you know having a good work history and a credit score You have nothing to say for yourself in your early 30s. People go, where the fuck have you been? What did you do for a decade? And the answer is nothing. And then you either get successful and people go, oh, we get it or you don't. And then people just go, yeah, that guy's a bum. If you fail as a comedian, you're just a bum. You're a guy that's

spent 10 years in bars. So I don't know what to do every now and then, people. And I feel bad for this man and his family. I'm a human being, you know? This Pop-Tart movie has to be talked about. And I don't wanna do it, because I actually really like Jerry Seinfeld. I think he's a great stand-up comedian I think he's got a nice family. I loved him gaffigan and bill burr. I think these are the greatest living comedians or legends I love everyone else in the film Kyle Dunigan whoever I'm telling you right now I

Was in my business manager's office the other day and this lovely woman I Brought up the movie and this lovely woman who slightly brain-dead, but that's okay She goes I said did you see this and she goes yeah, it was good Because that's all they're allowed to say in Los Angeles Someone goes yes, it was God and she smiles and I go yeah, but it was for like kids though And she goes yeah for, and she smiles. And I go, yeah, but it was for like kids though. And she goes, yeah, for kids. Like they just agree. So this film, which I believe is fictional,

other than the fact that the Pop-Tart does exist and was invented, is about the Pop-Tart. It's about the creation of the Pop-Tart. And it's about how that changed breakfast for millions of American children. Here's, let me, can we talk about another layer of this that's just odd. It's just a little, the timing is weird.

During the marketing of this movie, and this is no one's fault, it's just the timing is weird. During the marketing of this movie, and this is no one's fault, it's just the timing. I am watching in Gaza, on my phone, children be pulled out of rubble. And then I'm seeing an ad for the breakfast movie on Netflix where Jerry Seinfeld's talking about how Pop Tarts changed the game for millions of American children. And I'm like, wouldn't any of these kids in Gaza

like a Pop Tart? Would any of them like a Pop Tart? What's the breakfast they're eating right now? It's just an unfortunate timing is what it is, you know? And I'm watching this movie and this whole thing about children and breakfast and this being like this massive. It may be when you have a billion dollars, which I believe he has,

the things that interest and fascinate you maybe are not the things that are relatable to other people. The fact that they made a movie about this, the fact that this was interesting enough to him. Think of everything in the world. Think of all the things that have ever happened in the world, just think about it. Let's go with it.

I don't know where you are, maybe you're jogging, driving to work, whatever the case may be. Just think about everything that's ever happened in this world of ours. Every invention, innovation, advancement, achievement, conspiracy question, anything you would ponder at night, something you would think about as a kid when you were camping and laying

there in the tent going, what's the deal with this world we're in? All of those things. Now you have a billion dollars and you're going to make a a movie is the invention of the pop-tart Worthy of Making an entire and putting every comedian that's ever lived in this movie about the making of the pop-tart and How it changed people's lives And how it changed people's lives Can you look up what year the pop-tart was invented I think was 1964 but

It's a nice family film Meaning you can watch it with your family and nothing's offensive but the kids are going to leave the room. You can watch it with your kids. So Smithsonian magazine in 1964 Kellogg's changed breakfast forever by introducing pop tarts to the world. Was this such a big deal? Am I not? Am I nuts? Was this like the biggest event in the world? I don't. I'm

we weren't really allowed to have like pop tarts for even my white trash boomer parents. Like would it really let you have pop tarts for breakfast? Were there like millions of kids? I mean, I guess I don't get it. This is like if I made a movie about the invention of the yodel, and I had a billion dollars, and I made a movie about the invention of the yodel, and I put every comedian in the world

in this movie about the yodel being made. And I was like, in the 1990s, like this would be the trailer, you know, in the 1990s, there was a snack cake invented that changed the world, the yodel. And people would go, Tim Dillon's lost his fucking mind. He's out of his mind now. That guy used to talk about things that had some value,

and now he's lost his mind. When were yodels invented, by the way? I don't know when they were invented. Can I make that movie? Should I have turned around to the CEO of Netflix in the elevator and went, how about the next one's about the yodel? And I do it. Can I do one about the yodel? I should have gotten right in his face. Can I do a movie about the yodel? I want to do a movie about the yodel Oh They were introduced in 1962. So every invention is Fucking every movie about any of these things is retards and bell bottoms

How about Shake Shack? I want to do a movie about Shake Shack How Danny Meyer decided to put the burger on a potato bun. And I'll just sit there in Madison Square Park and I'll be like, in 2009, there was an invention called Shake Shack that allowed this fat country to get even fatter. And I have every comedian in the world is in this movie and They don't do a fine job. I'm not going at any of the comedians It's just the movie the jokes aren't really funny. The premise is insane. I Don't understand and I'm not again. I'm not trying to be negative about it. It's just crazy

You have Hugh Grant playing Tony the Tiger. Here's what's also funny about this. This is what unleashed decades of obesity in this country. Decades of cancerous sugar addiction. And they kind of goof about it, but it's not ever treated as it should be like the invention of the nuclear weapon the pop talk like marketing sugar to children the way we did was like Probably one of the darkest things you've ever the whole movie should start where it's just legless fat people in hospitals. And it should have been a documentary and Jerry Seinfeld should go up to a guy who's

got one leg and the stench of the room is making Seinfeld almost vomit. Because you know you can get gangrene when they cut off a leg. And Seinfeld is standing in this room and he says to the nurse, he's like, is there anything we can do about the smell? And he's just interviewing this man whose leg has been cut off and he goes, what happened to you? And the guy starts by saying, I was raised on Pop Tarts and I got diabetes and they had to saw off my leg.

See that's the real movie that should have been made Jerry Seinfeld should go interview morbidly obese Bedridden people whose sugar is ruined their entire lives and he should have to stand there and try to be a Try to have humanity with them Like when someone's laying in the hospital bed and they go am I gonna die and he goes I don't know Jerry Seinfeld should have to hold the hand of someone who's dying That's what this film should be this goofy film where it's like snap crackle and pop You got everybody play

I'm just saying Ted You got everybody play I'm just saying Ted Who is this idiot was this fat idiot get him out of the other Ted I want to do one about the yodel It's called swirly cream swirly frosting And it's about the yodel. No, I want to make a film about the yodel and I would have Louis CK play the yodel king or whatever the fuck.

No one can say no to any of these people at this amount of, Jerry Seinfeld could have pitched anything, it was just yes. There's nothing he could have said that they would not have said yes to, by the way. He could have said anything. He could have been like the stapler. I want to do a movie about the stapler. And they all went, well, oh yeah, he goes, because it's funny you get an accident. You ever get a staple in your palm? They go, yes, it's yes. Yes. Yes. Whatever you want. I just want to get to that point in my career

where I could just come in and say something and say this is this is how the meeting should have went with Santa Tell me you want to do a movie about the creation of the pop tart. Let's do a move I want to do a movie about the creation of the pop tart. No But I really like pop tarts. Yeah, no, that's all that's right. That should have been it. It should have just been no No That should have been no should have been no. No. That should have been no. Should have been no. Nope, move on. That's all.

That's all. We're not doing that. We're not doing that. Why? Because it seems like it'll be really stupid. I'm the CEO. Seems like it'll be dumb. Oh wait, Amy Schumer plays Marjorie Post.

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I want to donate money to these guys because they are out there As Gary Vee would be creating content in a war zone, but they're actually doing this. You know, play one of their things please. I woke up today to get some bread and unfortunately the bread is really expensive. Nearly six dollars because there is a lack of flour. I came to LA buddy. I needed to meet Omar and we started the day. And we went to the chess club as it was the third day of the tournament

Today was really special day because that we hit the 100k and I want to tell you guys now You are literally changed our life We want to support these guys and I messaged them and they said that the Wi-Fi in Gaza is not great For them to do a podcast appearance. I mean these creators and I messaged them and they said that the Wi-Fi in Gaza is not great for them to do a podcast appearance I mean these creators. I Mean, they're always lazy these creators. Let's be honest. I've dealt with them all over the place. I get it No, but in all seriousness these guys are out there in a in a hell. They're living in hell and They don't even have strong enough Wi-Fi to watch the pop-tart movie

And they don't even have strong enough Wi-Fi to watch the Pop-Tart movie. Now, I want to support these guys and I want to donate money to them, and I'm gonna donate money to them. And don't yell at me and go, well, it's actually gonna go to Hamas. So a little bit goes to Hamas. It's still, they're kind of outmatched. It's not like It's gonna change the whole thing a little bit a little bit money goes to a boss but these kids are actually trying to Keep themselves sane In an environment that I would that I imagine is I couldn't think of a worse environment. I couldn't People, you know are dying.

People's families, it's unreal. And it's, you know, any moral person, and this is not to excuse what Hamas did. This is not to say that Hamas is good or that October 7th didn't happen or any of the conspiracies that are out there. It is to say that watching these scenes coming out of Gaza, if you're a moral person, should disgust you.

It should make you upset. And anybody who's dealing with that, and this Ra'afah invasion is a massive and huge mistake. It's a red line. And the United States government is now kind of pulling back. And the Biden administration has kind of made it clear that they feel like this is a complete disregard for human life in a way that, you know, the official US government, which again is incredibly pro-Israel, but at this point going into Rafah, it's all these people have been told to flee to

Rafah, and now you're going in there. There's no plan. There's no plan for a post Hamas Gaza. There's no plan for an international force to keep things safe. This is a massive humanitarian catastrophe. You have people being starved. You have people being driven from their homes. You have people that can't get clean water. You have people that cannot get operations. The majority of these people are not in Hamas. They are not Hamas combatants.

They are not fighters. These are civilians. Many of them are young people, and they are being killed. And it's a moral nightmare. It is an absolute disaster if you are a moral person, which not everyone has to be and it's your choice, but if you have any morality, this is not something you look at and just go,

well, you know, I mean, so what, where's bad? That's no, that's not the end, that's not it. Well, you weren't upset about all right. All right relax And I'm not saying that you know the white kids in Colombia with the you know Wearing the Muslim scarves and banging the drum. That's not silly and ridiculous. We know that and certainly, they're not helping their case with the death to America chance and saying that Israel shouldn't exist and that to America chants and saying that Israel shouldn't exist and that I'm a pragmatist, I'm a realist.

So the reality is you need two states for two indigenous peoples. Now whether the Jews are indigenous or not, they certainly have an argument that they are. The Palestinians certainly do. And you need two states. And when I grew up, everyone talked about a two state solution and everybody was on board with that. The government of Israel drifted to the right.

There was no longer discussion of a two state solution. This kind of whatever it was, this siege blockade became the reality. People in Gaza were living there. It's a perfect recruitment tool for terrorists. And you know, I mean, this war is a perfect recruitment tool for terrorists. And you know, I mean, this war is a perfect recruitment tool for terrorists as well, where people watching this are becoming enraged and many of them that are, you know,

young people, or not even young people, any person that is maybe desperate and wants to feel powerless or hopeless and is driven to commit acts of terrorism, the images that came out of Abu Ghraib become a terrorist recruitment tool. I think the images that are coming out of Gaza become a terrorist recruitment tool. By the way, you know who shares that assessment with me? Anyone that thinks. So the problem here becomes how do we end this?

How do we stop this? Because this has become a disaster. And again, this is not to say that Israel should be wiped off the face of the earth, which again, we're the Columbia students, and we're a lot of those protesters who are gonna get things wrong. Because when we're a lot of those protesters are going to get things wrong because when you're a pragmatist, which doesn't really have that much, there's not room for pragmatism in a protest per se. That's not what they're designed to do. They're not engineered.

Those people, they're things that are run on emotion. They're trying to get attention. I get it. But if you're a pragmatist, you got to figure out a way to rebuild Gaza and give these people some restitution here. Because like I said, we're going to try to have these guys on. It's been tough. They DMed me back, and they were like, listen, the Wi-Fi is not great. But we want to support them any way we can. So we're going to try.

And we might do a thing with them and release it separately than a podcast. We might just throw it up on the YouTube or whatever and put a link in there so that you guys can kind of help them and their families because it's unimaginable. Again, if imagine that you were living in that situation, it's completely unimaginable in the same way that if you were an Israeli whose child was kidnapped from you or daughter was raped or any of the people that are still missing their loved ones and don't know if those loved ones will ever come back I can't imagine what that's like you know what I mean I cannot imagine

what it's like to have a member of my family kidnapped by Hamas now I do imagine it all the time and I've tried to make it happen, but it doesn't work. So I'm just saying that that is a difficult thing. Let's talk now about Eurovision, because I'll tell you right now, folks, Eurovision is something I've paid very little attention to in my life, and I am sad. Eurovision has something I've paid very little attention to in my life and I'm sad Eurovision has like Dutch rappers they have like Ukrainian

Ska bands You have like Swedish like Celine Dion won it in 19. I believe 1988 or 1998, I forget, probably 88. But Eurovision is a contest. It is a contest of bands from all over Europe. They banned Russia last year or a few years ago. And they were like, you cannot compete because you invaded Ukraine. Now, what has happened is Israel's in it

and Israel advances to the finals. People are getting mad. They go, you banned Russia. Now we're mad at Israel. And this woman, Eden Golan, and we're gonna play her song later for you. But there's a lot of tension in this contest that happened in Malmo, Sweden, which is a town with a big Muslim population in Sweden. And they're doing Eurovision

here. And the Israeli singer Eden Galan needs all the security. And it's a you know, backstage, it's tense. Now they're all dressed up in crazy ways get the win now This winner is Nemo this guy who wins Eurovision is an emo right here. This is Nemo now Nemo is from Copenhagen Switzerland Switzerland He's from Switzerland and Nemo. Can we play any of these songs? Can we play any of these songs? Can we it's copyright so it's it's God damn it songs. Can we? It's copyright so it's it's stuff. God damn it. Well Nemo does a rock opera about his their journey discovering they were non-binary

which doesn't exist but still there's a journey to it and it's Nemo is up there, they're up there, singing about being non-binary. Now they break the award. Can you play the press conference where they break the award? Israel was actually doing really well. There was this demonic fawn from Ireland

who really hated Israel. This demon, this Satan fawn from Ireland, which I kind of liked because you get Eurovision, they wear these crazy costumes. It's insane. You really thank God for black people after you watch Eurovision because you're like, man, I mean, this is what happens to white people in music when they have nothing else going on. They're dressed up like fawns and some of them are dressed up like, I don't even know like mythical creatures from Middle Earth. It's like the line the witch in the wardrobe.

They're just they come right out of Narnia. Play the press conference. This is Nemo, the person who won Eurovision doing a rock opera about the journey of finding out they were non-binary. Oh, this is clearly like a double standard and as I say, like, I broke the code and I broke the trophy, maybe the trophy can be fixed. Maybe Eurovision needs a little bit of fixing too every now and then this

This person broke the trophy that when they handed them the trophy they broke it or something Play can we play a little bit on Twitter of something that they did? I mean, here's him breaking the award. Yeah Is it gonna be it He's like an idiot. The person's like an idiot. I mean it's like... They kicked out this guy, Juiced Klein, who did a song called Euro Pop and they kicked him out because he started with the Jews backstage I think. And Juiced Klein is like this rapper from Amsterdam or something, I don't know, he's a Dutch rapper. And he does this song called Euro Pop. And all the songs are like,

I live in Europe, I like it, I will die in Europe. That's the words, literally. Can we play a music video on here? It depends on who is the publisher of it. It's Juiced Klein from Eurovision. He's a rapper. He's a Dutch rapper. Is he gonna sue us, Juiced? from Eurovision. He's a rapper. He's a Dutch rapper. Is he going to sue us?

Juiced, are you suing us? Because as a critic of Israel, Juiced, if you sue me, that's a pretty Israel move. But he does a song called Euro Pop and he's like, we are living Europe. I like to go Europe. And you realize how terrible music is in many cases when you leave America it's like crazy bad. Get up the Irish demonic fawn because she was upset they were like what happened when Israel advanced to the finals and she's like oh I cried I cried I cried.

I cried, I cried, I cried. There she is. Irish Eurovision contestant cries after Israel makes the final. So now people in Ireland are mad at Bambi Thug. Bambi Thug is the satanic Irish faun, and Irish, Ireland is a very Catholic country, Protestant in the north, but Bambi Thug was a vocal critic of Israel.

And when Israel advanced, Bambi Thug was upset and cried. She's like, I cried. I cried so much in Israel. I just cried. Now this Eurovision contest has been very controversial. We explained why we get it and But this young woman is Eden Golan, she's a pretty woman attractive young lady and she has a song and

I don't know why everyone's angry Let the woman sing a song. She's not the defense minister of Israel. So I'm like, let's play this song, which I believe to be, I think kind of a poppy love song. Yeah, I don't know what they do at Eurovision, but again, I think it's like poppy love songs and stuff like that.

So without further ado, and we got special permission to play this song from her people, which by the way is nice because a lot of people don't grant special permission to play a song like this. We could not clear Juiced Klein's song apparently, but this is the song is called Hurricane by Eden Golan and this is her entry to Eurovision. Let's hear this woman out a little bit here. This is a regular Nice song she

Before she recorded this she said she wanted to bring everyone together to music. This was her hope Eden Galant hurricane Kill them all Kill them all until they're dead And then when they're dead, kill them again Kill the babies, kill the teenagers, kill the old people Kill their dogs and cats Kill them if they're thin or fat Kill them in the hospitals, kill them in the schools

Kill them while they're playing soccer Kill them from above, kill them from below Kill them from the left and from the right Make them into vapor Make them into dust Make them into a science experiment Bury their bodies in the dust Bury their bodies in the dust Bury their bodies in the dust And drag them back from hell

And kill them again Kill them again Kill them again I'm gonna burn you with a righteous fire I'm gonna burn you alive And then I'll burn you dead I'll burn you dead I'll burn you dead I'll burn you in my house

This is my house And you are in my house Get out of my fuckin' house You didn't live here before me Do you like the taste of my gun? Do you like the taste of my gun? Do you like the taste of my gun? Do you like the taste of my gun? Do you like my gun in your mouth?

My gun's in your mouth My gun's in your baby's mouth I put my gun in your little baby's mouth Kill them all It's not genocide It's a song It's not genocide I'm here with pride

Do you like the taste of fire? Do you like the taste of blood? Blood is coming for you Rivers of blood There are rivers of blood Eurovision I wanna win Eurovision

That was Eden Golan, Hurricane, an entry to the Eurovision. You know, after hearing the song, I do understand why it was controversial. You know, I do understand. You hear some of those lyrics, some of them are quite violent and a little suggestive. But art is art, you know, and that was Eden Golan's song, Hurricane, from the Eurovision contest. Summer is coming, you know what that means? A lot of young drivers are gonna be on the roads, maybe for the first time, and they're going to be causing havoc and mayhem. Morgan &

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car accidents backyard pools slip and falls slip and slides Barbecue sauce on the step, you slip, uh oh, spaghetti-o. You gotta fucking hold them to account if something goes left. Hot coffee, third degree burns. Hot summer days, people getting, you know, erratic. Hot summer days, people getting, you know, erratic, people being careless, reckless, putting you in dangerous situations,

and you gotta think to yourself. You gotta think to yourself, God damn it, I deserve more, I deserve better. And you gotta hold them to account. If you're injured, you can check out Morgan Morgan and Morgan their fee is free unless they win for more information go to for the people Com slash Tim or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone That's for the people comm slash Tim or pound law pound 529 from your cell This is a paid advertisement spring has sprung and that means spring cleaning whether that means stacking up on cleaning supplies or swapping out your winter clothes for

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that's a quarter of the year for free the US four quarters they're all three months a quarter of the year for free ex press VPN comm slash Tim Dylan for three extra months free Express VPN comm slash Tim Dylan people are saying that with restaurants they can't be afford to be open or closed we have a crisis in restaurants in the country we do I've been to a restaurant and I'm not smoking again, Post Malone had a bunch of cigarettes and was smoking them and wanted me to smoke with him to support him, and I did.

At Kill Tony, but a lot of people are upset. Now, restaurants cannot afford to stay open, they cannot afford to be closed, and it's because, this is an article of Drudge, this is because like, you know, it's a real problem, the way people are acting up. The shocking state of the restaurant industry. We can't afford to be open, we can't afford to be closed.

In October, Lauren and Peter Lemos locked the doors of their Chinatown sandwich shop for what they thought would be the last time. In late March, they flipped wax papers lights back on, not due to newfound success or a windfall, but because they couldn't afford to shut down. After closing Chinatown, we realized we still have our lease, we still have our loans from the COVID loans, the bills are still coming in. We can't afford to close. We can't afford to be open. Wax papers, husband and wife team are hardly the only ones facing an economic crisis. Interviews with more than two dozen chefs, restaurateurs, policy makers, and advocacy groups were filled, pointed concern over the state of the service industry and questions of longevity. People are,

you know, there was a time, for example, it's happening to real estate agents right now. The job of real estate, which is a low rent profession that only a few people can make money in, it's a low rent profession, okay? It is now being glamorized on the internet and social media and Netflix and all of these reality shows, right? This idea that, number one, a very small amount of agents in real estate sell luxury real estate. And a very few of those agents that sell luxury real estate actually sell it and actually make any money. For many people, real estate is a second or a third job or a waste of time

or they're rich people that are bored, whatever it is. But the job of a real estate agent, which has been, you know, you're just, you know, basically, you know, you're a, you know, somebody said it recently developer and I like it, you're a bottle service girl. Real estate agents are bottle service girls.'re just opening doors three bedrooms four bathrooms this that the other it's all you do but that job a lot of people after these shows like million dollar listing and selling sunset people got into that the restaurant industry had that years ago it was a it was very glamorous people like the idea of being part

of the restaurant business because all of the reality shows were, you know, chef-centric. Ooh, I wanna be a chef. I wanna work on the line. I wanna be in a restaurant. Well, being a chef is hard. You're a junkie.

A lot of times you do drugs. You don't see your children or your wife. You don't care about anyone. You hate them. You don't see your children or your wife. You don't care about anyone you hate them You're obsessed with your craft You toil in relative obscurity and then you die pretty young that's most chefs Most people that work in restaurants, you know shows like the bear You know notwithstanding are not happy. It's a tough job. It sucks. Unless

you were in a really good restaurant and you're really good at it and people tip you and you feel good about where you happen to be. But most of these service industry professions What happens is someone makes a show? About them where everyone seems hot and it seems fun and you're like That's fucking amazing and then there's a period where everybody gets into that job for a while is bartending In the like late 90s early 2000s people thought it was like a great job to be a bartender. Coyote ugly look at my tits. And then you know people got into bartending again cocktail Tom Cruise 1988

There's lore with a lot of these jobs people get into them because they see them on the screen and think they're getting that experience There's a lot of people leaving the service industry right now because it's not What it's not Top Chef It's not Top Chef That's not what it is. Even though shows like Hell's Kitchen, it's like, well, I'm getting yelled at, but it's like,

somebody believes in me and they're holding me to a high standard. That's not what it is. You're working at Red Lobster. You're working at Red Lobster. The chef's a pedophile. It's not Top Chef. It's not Hell's Kitchen. You're working at like the Bistro in the Marriott, the new like, you know, Starbucks, Marriott bistro, whatever it is, you're heating up a focaccia sandwich for some, you know, some

fucking fat woman at a conference of dental hygienists and she's like, can we get this going? It's not what you think it is and Unfortunately, it has been represented as something it isn't so people getting into the service industry thinking That it's gonna be something and then they realize it's actually a hell Here's why it's a hell. There's no more cash can't get a cash tip That was nice in In the 90s or the early 2000s and even mid 2000s it started to go away. People would hand you

cash. I still tip cash. It's great to have cash. We are in a cashless society that you cannot get tipped with cash. So the tips are all on the grid now and you got to split them with everybody even the people that suck used to be able to take money out of your used to be able to take money and put it in your pocket and act like you didn't get it. That was great. That was good. Now you can't do that.

You're on the fucking grid. You're on the grid. People are too educated about food now. They ask you too many questions about the food. They have too many allergies. They have too many restrictions. They have too many requests. They're remaking all of the entrees. Can you do this? Can you hold that? I don't like this. What is the lamb crusted it? Like it's a problem now. It's not I'll have the lamb anymore. It's a five minute interview. It's a dissertation on every

medical problem they've ever had and their children. They're annoying. They have already seen the lamb dish being prepared on YouTube before they come into the restaurant. They know the menu better than you. They are demanding in ways they've never been demanding before, it's annoying to deal with these freaks. People used to come into a restaurant, get a steak and cheat on their wife. It was nice.

Limited interaction with the waitress, limited. Get her over, get her out of there. I Look at restaurants now the waiter's been at the table for nine minutes. What's going on? Why is he still there? Because they're discussing their strategy for the mill waiter should never be your friend this have you dine with us before have you ever Been here before all that crap. No, there was stoicism. They were colder. They came to you. Hello. What would you need? They were supposed they're not supposed to be your buddy. Stop crouching. Don't get on the floor. Don't touch me. Don't be around me I don't want your face in my face like get away be stoic be colder Here's what we have in the 90s the restaurants owned you

You were lucky to get in you You were lucky to be there. No, there are no substitutions. The chef will not be doing that. Now, you are the chef of the restaurant. You are the manager of the restaurant. You make all the decisions. You design the food. You tell it, does anyone have any dietary restraint?

No, no, no, no, no. They have to tell you what they've got or they die. When you give up your authority, you never get it back. Say it again with me now. And you know who knows this? Daddy Pooot! Putin knows. When you give up your authority, you never get it back. Okay? Whether you're a Russian oligarch or a mall steakhouse, if you give up your authority, you don't get it back. If you democratize the experience,

if you let the inmates run the asylum, and by the way there are servers right now that are like they're going hell yeah Tim and because they know I'm correct. You've let the inmates run the asylum now. You have. You've let a bunch of people come in and tell you how to run your restaurant. Oh they don't want to dress up, they want to dress like pigs. Well, I guess we make it a hoedown because they want to be pigs. I used to go up to the, oh no, no, you know, you're the dress code. You're not allowed in. You don't have the things on we need. We have requirements. Out. Out. Now people go, well, people want to dress in sweatpants. What are just like pigs? So then you have to adjust your restaurant where everyone can be a pig now You've given up authority you have no authority anymore. You're not running the show that you're not curating an experience anymore

That's the issue I'm not saying you have to have a dress code There's a lot of great restaurants that don't have it But if you want to have one you fucking should and it should be enforced I might not go cuz I'm gonna sweat so you don't have to time but that's fine. You don't need me The point is you have to have authority the meals are the meals We're not doing your meal. You're not designing your meal We are serving this We're not doing your meal. You're not designing your meal.

We aren't serving this. The chef thinks you should eat this. Why don't you try it? Oh, what you're a 36 year old who can't try fish. You can't try something you're 36 years old. You're not a four year old. Try a spice you haven't heard of. Oh, it's actually a little spicy and I get stomach things. Take a fucking maylock or whatever it is, Tums, take a thing. You can't, I go into dinner with people now, it is a doctor's appointment. They tell you about, oh, my stomach actually, I have things, just shut up.

Order whatever you're gonna order that corresponds with whatever disease you have Diagnosed yourself with and move on but this is why the service industry Because at one time it was a little bit glamorous and it was a little cool and There was a reason to like we work at a really hot restaurant. But now because it has been We have transferred the power to the consumer fully. Fully. They are now in the driver's seat. Can you imagine that? You take off in the airplane and the guy comes back and goes, hey, slob with the pretzels, get in there. Get in the cockpit.

Why don't you try it? It doesn't work. It never works. It actually never works. When you let the people determine the course of the experience and how it should happen, it doesn't work. You have to give them something worth coming back for. And the only way that's ever gonna happen is if you wrest control of your establishments

back from these fucking monsters. No phones. We don't do phones. Oh well, they actually need it for the marketing. They need it for the marketing. They need people to have five phones on the table, one lighting the food, the other snapping photos. No, no, no, no, no, you don't need it.

Figure it out, hire marketing people, figure it out. You don't need people running around the restaurant with phones. Say no phone, we don't do phones here. Can you, do you know how amazing it would be a restaurant where they go no phones? Take a bold stand. You might not have liked that Eden Galan song,

but that was taking a stand. But this is what I'm saying, and I'd love restaurants forever, my family's in the business, I know people. And I'm telling you, I don't care about this article, it doesn't even make sense. The problem is, they're hinting about a real, they're complaining that nobody's making money. They don't care about this article. It doesn't even make sense. The problem is they're hinting about a real they're complaining

Nobody's making money. They don't know the cultural it politics is down to the great Syria Marconi They want to know my favorite story. My father was a wine salesman once tried to sell one this restaurant They threw him at the back they walked in they go Oh, thank you so much. Great to see you because they didn't want to make a scene up front They threw him right out the back in the alley like the Irish slob. He is the Irish are thrown out The Irish go to the alley in the back in the alley like the Irish slob he is the Irish are thrown out The Irish go to the alley in the back I'm just saying you've given up too much control. I don't respect you anymore I cannot respect you anymore if you are you should be unwilling to compromise on certain things.

Restaurants are not about comfort like hotels. Hotels, your job is to make people comfortable. They're at their home. It's their home. Restaurant, it ain't your home. This is an experience you're paying for. If you don't let us curate it for you, it's gonna be a disaster if you come in and demand exactly what you want We have a vision here we have a vision and If you're going to fucking muck it up with your vision, you're not gonna like it and no one's gonna like it And then it's not gonna be fun to work there. It's not gonna be fun to work at a place. That's not cool That's not fun

That's why everybody's leaving the service industry now because they're like, wow this isn't cool anymore because we've made it uncool. It's a nursing home. We've made them these restaurants into nursing homes. They're clinics. People come in with problems. Well, hi, hi. Can you come here? Hi. The chick, the roasted chick. See, my husband, I don't want to get into it, but my husband has the stomach problem where if he has any type of spice, he will have to use the bathroom for 36 hours. So is there any way that you could come and tell me every single spice that's on the chicken? Because my husband, he's had a lot of problems.

They caught him masturbating in his car by his school two years ago, but he's not a pedophile. He was just very nervous. And his thing with lactose is that if there's too much cream in the mashed potatoes, he gets really gassy about it. And he's had a lot of problems with lactose. When he was young, he fully had sex with his sister and he impregnated her. He impregnated his sister and of course she got an abortion. I mean, thank God. I mean, now maybe you wouldn't be able to. But back then they were in his family, he was Catholic,

but of course you're not gonna have your brother's baby. I mean, that's crazy. So he fully impregnated his sister at 14 years old and she was 13, but she was fully impregnated. And they took her, they were gonna take her to a convent, but they were decided they didn't want a retarded baby because they think that it would come out like with a third eye or something. So they actually took her to a convent, but they were decided they didn't want a retarded baby because they think that it would come out like with a third eye or something so they actually took her to get an abortion but they've always had a weird thing since that obviously even though they were both

young but they've always kind of had a weird relationship since then and and so you know what's interesting about her she's allergic to avocado and she's here when she gets here, just if you cannot even mention avocado with her, because it reminds her of her abortion, it's just too much. Go watch Unfrosted. Good night.