The Tim Dillon Show - 394 - Donald Trump & Cracker Barrel

Episode Date: June 1, 2024

Tim examines President Trump’s conviction, a Jaws screening gone awry, the failed Congolese coup, fun dads, Cracker Barrel’s reimagining and restaurants as museums. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://punchup.live/TimDillon SPONSORS: Hims Go to Hims.com/TIM for your personalized ED treatment options. Shady Rays Head to shadyrays.com and use code: TIMD for $20 off polarized sunglasses. Morgan & Morgan For more information go to forthepeople.com/tim ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show, recording minutes, maybe hours after Trump convicted on all 34 counts of falsifying business records in the hush money trial with Stormy Daniels, the porn star that Trump was plowing and he paid off this woman with some dirty money. And this has been the trial that he's been going through. I, full disclosure, live a few blocks away. I have a home a few blocks away from the,

I don't live there. I don't live anywhere. So I'm gonna say that immediately because that, people always say to me, they go, where do you live? It's like, why do you, what is that? What is that? It's like a crazy question.

People go, where do you live? I'm like, I don't know, man. I'm figuring it out. Like, I'm figuring it out. But Trump, I have a condo that I occasionally go to a few blocks away from the courthouse, where they delivered this conviction, which was not a huge surprise because it is New York and Trump was probably guilty. I don't think anyone Imagines that he wasn't guilty. I think here's why people are upset about this and here's why I Think ultimately this helps Trump. This is my analysis. Most people know Trump's kind of a criminal. He's been open about it. That's kind of why people like him. He goes, I game the system. I'm rich. I get away with shit. I

do what I want. I pay people off. He said that. He came out and said it. He's like, I pay people off. I play the game. That was very refreshing. Dave Chappelle did that monologue on SNL talking about how groundbreaking it was that Donald Trump like came out and was like, hey yeah, you know why I know how corrupt everything is? Because I'm the guy. I'm one of those people who's been doing it for years. I get it. So I don't think anyone's... I don't think there's anyone out there that's like, would Trump have paid off a porn star?

Would he have done that? Would Trump have... I think everyone knows that. I don't think anyone knows that I don't think anyone cares I don't care I Think paying people off fine to be honest to shut up I Don't think that's a big problem morally of all the ways you could get someone to shut up You have killing them threatening them

You have killing them threatening them Blackmailing them paying them off is by far the best way to Get them to shut up It is by far the least of all the things in our political system. I mean the three dudes at Boeing who were like, hey, maybe there's a crack in the, goodbye, they're all gone.

How nice would it have been if they just got hush money? It's not even that like, no one's horrified that someone paid somebody else off to shut up. I think people don't like the idea that in an incredibly corrupt system where you have almost everyone that you are aware of in the political sphere in this country is some kind of criminal. Everybody is some kind of criminal. It's why they are there. We all know that. It's why they got elected in the first place. They are some kind of criminal. Everybody in the political system at a high level at one point or another has looked the other way, or has paid some kind of hush money to somebody.

It's just a fact. I mean, everybody has done it, and we all know that. And the people that don't do it, and the people that don't do it and the people that refuse to do it are Flushed down the toilet. They get rid of them. They get rid of them It's just the way things work and I think people get angry at What they view as an inherent Like contradiction when you have the federal government and This now the state government, but this is the federal government in New York. I believe this was federal. I believe. But it also could have been

the state. I'm unsure. It was federal. Yeah, federal. That's what I thought because that's where the condo that I occasionally bump into is. People are wondering, they're going, this is a politically motivated prosecution. And it doesn't mean that Trump is innocent. It means that there's zero interest in finding out any of this information about any of the other people in our system. We don't care. We don't see any of these things being applied evenly. There's zero interest.

In fact, when the Epstein docs came out and Clinton's name is all over them, the whole media, they were basically like, listen, yes, he's in all of these documents. Yes, he's mentioned 50 times. Yes, he's been on the plane, but that doesn't mean that he did anything that is wrong. They didn't even forget legal.

They were basically like, this guy is innocent. The media's job when the Epstein docs came out was to go out and say, nobody who's mentioned in these docs did anything wrong. They're all innocent. They're all innocent. And again, it's like, go sell that to your wife. Go sell that to anybody that you're mentioned 50 times in the deposition of a human trafficking victim.

So there's zero interest in that. There's zero interest in getting to the bottom of that. Nobody really wants to get to the bottom of that. Nobody really goes like, well, that's interesting. What's going on over there? Why are all these politicians? Where where are all these tapes? What happened? I don't get it. All these people that were being recorded, where are those tapes? Who are those people? Nobody really cares about that. Nobody's really Where are those tapes? Who are those people? Nobody really cares about that.

Nobody's really interested in that. And that's just one example of all of the things people could be interested in. Nobody's really cares, but this case is explicitly brought for the purposes of trying to get this guy on something Because

his popularity is Amazing considering all of the issues he's had and There doesn't seem to be any way to stop that. These trials, these cases that they're throwing at him, you know, the entirety of his presidency was Russia. And none of that panned out. You know, this idea that he was an asset of Russia, he was installed by the Russian government. You know, none of that worked. You couldn't get him. James

Comey, Robert Mueller, all these Mueller, whatever, all these guys, all these special prosecutors, nobody was able to really deliver the goods. So that's where it started. It started that he was an agent of a foreign government who got elected in an election that was manipulated by that government and he's now in the Oval Office and he's carrying out the agenda of Vladimir Putin and Russia in America. That's how it started.

This is a Manchurian candidate. This is a guy that's in there and we don't know how this happened. This happened because Russia went on Facebook and made everybody's aunt racist and then Trump got elected and now he's doing the bidding of, it was the beginning of it. That was the beginning.

And that went on for years and it was all his cronies and everyone he was around, or they're all beholden to Russia and Russian money and that was the narrative and and there were people that were deeply skeptical of that on the left and the right by the way the far left not the mainstream left they were with it and even a lot of the mainstream right kind of went along with it. They were kind of like well, maybe this is Now we finally it's years later and

What we finally got the guy on is that he paid off a porn star to keep quiet He paid off a porn star. You know, again, if somebody is that like a black mark on his character? Isn't that his character? Isn't that Donald Trump's character? Like, what would you think Donald Trump would be doing? If you didn't even know Donald Trump would be doing if you didn't even know Donald Trump and a guy who walked by you in a pinstripe suit with golden hair on Fifth Avenue and someone pointed to you and said that guy paid off a porn star you wouldn't even respond with words you just like take a sip of your coffee and smile because

it's exactly what you think that person would do. I don't think anybody's shocked by that. I don't think anybody's like... Now I guess... I guess this might have an effect on the election. I don't know. People said it when I was watching Karl Rove, who is George W Bush's guy. He was his guy. His, they called him the architect, Karl Rove. And Karl Rove was basically like, a lot of the polls that are out say people will be less

likely to vote for Trump if he's convicted. But Karl Rove also said if he's exonerated, he's Teflon. But he was convicted. I don't know if this is going to have a huge impact on the election. I know that he's going to be sentenced. Rarely with this charge would you get prison. I don't know if he's going to get prison. I don't know if they're going to try to make an example out of him.

I think if they put him in prison, you're going to be looking at, you know, again, his website has crashed because of donations in the last hour. People are like, again, this is galvanized, the hardcore Trump people. And if he goes to prison, the Secret Service goes too, I read this earlier, that they will be protecting him in prison.

And as our friend, the great Ray Kemp said, he might run the whole operation from the can, like the movie Donnie Brasco, when the guy goes, Rusty's running the whole thing from the can like the movie Donnie Brasco when the guy goes Rusty's running the whole thing from the can I got Brooklyn's Sonny Red's got little Italy I mean that might be it Trump might be the president of the United States from prison he might just run the country from prison he will lose no supporters if that happens. He will gain many supporters.

You are going to see, I think, a surge in support for him. A lot of people in this country have been to jail. A lot of them. A lot of people in this country have been to jail and I'm watching them on social media They kind of like there's by the way I'm telling you right now if you just want to look at cool If you want to look at who's the cooler candidate If you want to look at who's the cooler candidate

The the guy who doesn't know where he is or the guy who's maybe doing like two months in jail The guy who's doing two months in jail is the cooler candidate No question and Trump's gonna go in there. He's gonna act like Nelson Mandela he's gonna be his version of Nelson Mandela in prison. This is going to be the best thing that has ever happened to him and to memes, really. But also, Tim, let's watch some of these videos. This is outside the courthouse today. Many people, very emotional.

Here's the thing about Trump. People, he's really in their blood. They, this is a religious experience for these people. Let's take a listen. God, God, God, where else? Thank you, I'm gonna cry. Thank you, I'm gonna cry. If you're not watching this, this is just Asians in MAGA hats crying. I'm gonna cry. Thank you, I'm gonna cry.

Thank you, I'm gonna cry. Thank you, I'm gonna cry. Thank you, I'm gonna cry. I just wish he was exonerated, I just want to see happy Asians. You know what I mean? I don't want to see Asian women crying like older Asian ladies in MAGA hats crying. How fun would it have been to just see them happy? A few blocks from my occasional pied-a-terre. It would have been nice to see them. Any other? We got some people getting angry there, people... This was before, yeah. Are people getting violent or what's going on?

Let's go up to Blacks for Trump. Yeah. Let's see what they're up to. Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump, Trump, Trump. I am the Elamite, and I'm here to defend Trump. And they're trying to, they're using the fact that they say that he's a racist to do all these lies and call him a treasonous man, when in actuality they're accusing him of what they are guilty of. So my job is to reveal the darkness that is now trying to overtake the light. This is a big, by the way, I think convicting him of this is a big mistake.

I think this is going to go the other way. I think he's going to galvanize supporters. I think this was a big mistake. We're going to listen here to Robert De Niro who took it upon himself a day before the verdict to just have a press conference and talk about Trump and everybody shouting at him like, fuck you. De Niro, you know, is a big part of this whole area, Tribeca. The lore is, the legend is that Robert De Niro was training in an empty warehouse in

Tribeca for the movie Raging Bull. And he looked around at Tribeca and he goes, God, this area is great. Why isn't there anything down here? What's going on? It was all these empty kind of abandoned warehouses. And then he opened up Nobu and Tribeca Grill and he's a big real estate owner down here.

And he's become very passionate about politics for whatever reason. He's 80? Yeah, he's whatever reason. He's 80. Yeah, he's up there. He's 80. He's got a kid, a lot of kids now, right? Young kids. He's a child, yeah.

He just had a child at 80 years old. So that's who we're dealing with. By the way, they are, all of these people are Trump. All of these people, this guy just had a one-year-old child at 80. And he's going out as he's the same rational voice of reason. The octogenarian new dad. Robert De Niro, everyone. You are gangsters! You're a little punk! You're a softy! You're a nobody! Your movies suck! You're trash!

Why would you after a great... by the way, after like what is he trying to do here? What is this guy thinking is gonna happen? Like, actors sometimes just believe they have the powers that the people write in the scripts for them what is he thinks gonna happen like he's gonna go down to this courthouse he's gonna give this rousing speech and then all the people in the mag ads are gonna turn around go you know Robert De Niro's right we've been had Trump's a con Bobby De Niro's right that guy was a casino. He's the guy from Goodfellas So they're all telling De Niro your movie suck. You're washed up, which by the way It is a dose of you know, he needs to hear that everyone needs to hear you're washed up

It's a it's it's a fun insult To throw it like an older person because it's invariably true. There's nothing, I wanted to go down there and yell very specific, why did you do about my father? Do you need money? So you have Robert De Niro getting literally thrown around by the maggot people just totally getting trashed by these people.

There's like a ton of cops protecting Robert De Niro from the maggot. By the way, people are getting like lit on fire in the subway, thrown on the tracks. There was a machete attack at the Times Square McDonald's and all of these police are on like Robert De Niro detail protecting this old guy who's just screaming and yelling outside of a courthouse. Robert De Niro is not involved in the case. Want to remind everybody Trump did not pay off Robert De Niro. Robert De Niro is not an employee of the federal government.

He has zero reason to be there. And then the cops are all like helping Robert De Niro across the street as he gets totally pilloried by the Trump people. It is fun though. You know, if you've ever read Bonfire the Vanities, one of my favorite books, I'm a lifelong New Yorker, I love Tom Wolfe, and that book is about a banker. I believe it's Sherman McCoy. Yeah, and he is driving through the Bronx and he hits a young African American child

and then thinks he's gotten away with it, but he hasn't gotten away with it, they trace it back to him because he makes a mistake. When the police come and ask him, when the police come and ask him about his car, he, you know, makes this kind of mistake. He says the car's not in the building that he's having it tuned up or something and the police then find the car. It's cut pretty routine how it happens. There weren't, you know, he could have gotten away with it probably had he not made that mistake, had he just showed them the car. There

wasn't really scratches on the car or anything. The point is the book culminates in a trial where you have all these New York characters just all over the place. It becomes a big civil rights issue. You have that. You have this guy's life spins out of control. It's Tom Wolfe's best book. The guy's life spins out of control. He's this, you know, master of the universe, Wall Street banker, lives on Park Avenue, has a wife. I believe he was cheating on her when he hit the kid in the Bronx. And then his life just descends into chaos.

And that's kind of the vibe of this trial a little bit, except Tom Wolf never would have been able to imagine this scene, or maybe never would have been able to imagine this scene or maybe he would have that the president of the United States, Donald Trump, is being tried in a hush money case with an OnlyFans model named Stormy Daniels. But it's a very right out of Bonfire the Vanity's thing. And outside the courthouse you have crying Asian women screaming, you have blacks for Trump,

you have Robert De Niro, a dare I say washed up actor who's 80 years old with a one year old child and instead of being home with that child, he's now part of the Biden Harris campaign and Robert De Niro is screaming in front of the court. It is a scene and by the way I witnessed some of it. On foot I did witness some of the scene. It does feel like New York at its best. It really does. It feels like New York at its best. People going fuck you you're washed up your movies suck how great is that a guy with the accent and you know that guy loves goodfellas you know that guy doesn't mean that that guy loves goodfellas that guy doesn't love goodfellas what are you nuts but he hasn't made a goodfellas in a while and

when that guy goes your movies suck and these people they you know so Donald Trump convicted I think goes the other way I'm gonna make a prediction that this was a grave error bringing this case was a grave error I could be wrong maybe I will be wrong I do not know but I will tell wrong, I do not know. But I will tell you this, I think people get more excited about Trump now than they have been. In keeping with older people who are about to leave the planet,

just letting people have it. A guy I've always kind of liked, Richard Dreyfuss, goes on a rant at a Jaws screening. Now every year they have this Jaws Fest. And in this type of, and I don't know if this is technically Jaws Fest, but Jaws is widely considered to be one of the greatest movies ever made and Richard Dreyfuss is the star. We all know this

Richard Dreyfuss goes to a Massachusetts theater and is going to speak before the film about Proportedly the movie. So instead you have Richard Dreyfus who's again, it's like Bobby De Niro, it's like every day's a gift at that age, every day's a gift. And they wanna just pop off and tell you where their heads are at. So he goes, I wish we had this rant, but we don't have it.

Right? There might be video. Oh, you know, because they took it down. Hold on. Yeah. See if you can find it. Oh, this is it. This is him walking out.

Oh, this is great. By the way, this is it. This is him walking out. Oh, this is great. By the way, this is a real treat. Richard Dreyfuss in and these people don't know what's about to hit them. He's this is the star of Jaws, but he's he's he's had enough with some things, some cultural trends, and I guess this might be it. He's getting a big ovation from the people. He's got a cane. He looks good. But he's getting ready.

You can feel it. You can feel it. He's getting ready to unleash and unleash he does He's only he's about to unleash here Stop this for a second. They had to um, they had to issue an apology to people By the way, if you see someone over certain age speak the theater should never issue an apology By the way, if you see someone over a certain age speak, the theater should never issue an apology. You should never apologize for an old person

or an elderly person that this is their time now to speak. This really, it may be a lot of things you don't love hearing, but there should absolutely not, the theater should not engage in like a mea culpa for this guy. Is he speaking in this clip at all? I'm skipping to the end, here we go. The book is called One Thought Scares Me.

And it's about the fact that 50 years ago, without telling anybody, they took civics out of the curriculum of all public schools in America. Which means we have no knowledge of who the hell we are. And if we don't get it back, soon we're all going to die. Thank you. Thank you. Now, here's what's great.

They're all still with him because it's a general vague statement. And this is what old people love to do, and this is why I love old people. Old people right before the end of their life will always invariably make some comment about how 50 years ago, 30 years ago, 40 years ago, without telling anyone, they took away something that we needed. And in this case it's civics and they are teaching forms of civics, by the way, they are teaching that, but it's hilarious. He's like there and we don't, and he goes, if we don't get it back, we're

going to die. Everyone's with him because they're like, I bet he's dunking on Trump. They don't know what's coming next. This is why old people are great. They're unpredictable. They don't even really know what's going to happen. He barely knows what's coming next. I'm sure that your kids are not the last generation of Americans.

You know exactly what I'm talking about. So sadly Richard Dreyfus, we do not have him on screen saying the rant he went on an anti-trans rant at the Jaws premiere event and we don't have him saying that tragically but we do have the news story about it and the people who were affected. People started leaving the theater in droves and that may be the reason why there is an actual video footage of this is that people were so disgusted that they didn't even think to take out their phone. They thought about just getting out of there.

Take a listen. Many people walked out, including myself and my partner, numerous other patrons who are at the Cabot also found it unacceptable. There were scores of people filing down the stairs and out onto the sidewalk. Well that's after he said, we have some quotes from his, he went off. From there however, Kerry said, Dreyfus went off targeting his nuts co-star Barbra Streisand. He began to say a lot of sexist things about her, about all women. They're stupid, they shouldn't have any power, etc. Other accounts say that Dreyfus accused women of being passive, which is why the 1987 film

Nuts sucked. Then he just kept going with homophobic and racist comments. He insulted the Me Too movement. Another member of the crowds at Dreyfus said that society, quote, shouldn't be listening to some 10-year-old who says they want to be a boy instead of a girl. Kerry then said the atmosphere in the theater quickly soured with many booing the star and some walking out. Now now don't turn into an angry mob.

Drive his whole the crowd. According to carry, let this guy go off. You know, the theater should not have apologized for him. They should say Richard came in hot. That's what they should say Richard came in hot. That's what they should say. They should Richard Dreyfuss came in hot and we have no regrets. You gotta live the way you live.

He's got minutes before he leaves this planet, minutes. And he wants, everybody's gonna do that at the end. There's nobody at the end of their career who has any public persona, like any form of public life. Anyone with access to a microphone is gonna do this before the end. There's almost no point to having money and being famous if at the end of it you can't just alienate everyone

before you die. Everybody's got to get it. He's up there screaming about Barbra Streisand. This is his right. It's like De Niro's right. As annoying as they are, they are in the twilight of their life. There is nothing better than watching people that you've adored for your entire life come out and disgust you, disappoint you, enrage you to the point where you're like, get out of here.

There's nothing better than that. I wish if I have a long enough career where I'm in some theater right before I die I want to walk everybody I want everybody to go what the fuck was this I used to listen to that guy this sucks fuck you that's the last thing I want to hear the last thing I want to hear is fuck you you suck now that's full circle in this country that's having a career that comes full circle. This story interested me. I thought this was interesting.

A Utah high school football teammate turned down a summer job that was actually a covert coup attempt. I believe in like the Congo, in the African Congo. The friend of a prominent Congolese opposition leader. And let me just say, before we go into this story, I know that a lot of people, you know, with the AI images of like all eyes on Rafa and pray for Sudan, which I've criticized

because they're silly and they look like it's a new show on NBC, Tuesdays at eight, all about Rafa, like it feels, even CNN quoted me, because it does feel silly. Not to say you shouldn't be upset about those things. We're losing focus with the Sudan and the Congo stuff, I feel. I really do.

I can get upset about this Palestine, but you start throwing in Sudan and the Congo? It doesn't work. I start going, oh yeah, everything's fucked. And then I just turn it all off. You got to focus. I can't handle everything. You can't be like Sudan, Congo. They are now listing everything going on on the planet. I can't be enraged about that.

Stick with something. The friend of a prominent Congolese opposition leader's son said he turned down a six-figure offer to travel there from the US as part of a family security detail in what turned out to be a failed coup. Marcel Molanga, the 21-year-old son of an eccentric coup leader, Christian Molanga, was detained by Congolese forces Sunday morning, along with a former classmate from their hometown of West Jordan, Utah, after his father was killed in a shootout while resisting arrest. His high school football teammate Tyler Thompson, 21, was one of the two other Americans arrested

after an ill-fated attack on the presidential palace in Kinshasa. Six people were dead and dozens arrested, including three Americans following the attack and another on the residence of a close ally of President Felix Shiketty, the Congolese Army spokesperson. Brigadier General Sylvain Ackenge said. Daniel Gonzalez, a former teammate of the two Utah residents caught up in the foiled coup told the Associated Press that Marcel had offered him $50,000 to $100,000 to spend four months in the Congo as a security guard for his politician father. The 22 year old FedEx worker said he strongly considered it, but said it lacked concrete

details. He ultimately declined so he could spend the summer with his girlfriend. I feel really sad for Tyler and Marcel, but at the end of the day, I just can't be grateful. I just can be grateful that I didn't go because I'd be stuck in the same scary situation. That is great, by the way, to have your son

have a summer job and that summer job is overthrowing a government in Africa. A friend of mine's father, who I've talked about on the show before, Bud Monster, said that if you're just a white guy with some money, you can kind of go, and I don't know if that's the case with this guy, I don't know if he's white or not, but you can go to like these places like Africa or South America and you could really like fuck around a little bit and have fun. Like try to overthrow a government. Like this is kind of cool for like a summer trip

that you went there and that didn't work. Certain things don't work. But the idea of like this guy's trying to overthrow an African government with his kid. And he said to his kids friends, why don't you get a couple of your loser friends and you could come over and try to overthrow this government too.

It is crazy to think about that that's his summer. I don't know what exactly you learn from this. That's maybe the issue is you don't really learn. You learn about trusting people. Like if you go over there, first of all, I never wanted to work as a person. That's why I do this. Poor people are always the ones that worked.

You always see the poor working. They're always fiddling and fidgeting. They're late all the time that worked you always see the poor working. They're always Fiddling and fidgeting they're late all the time. I was one of them for years They work so hard and no one cares and so I never wanted to work. I would never interested me. That's why I do this and Rich people are kind of never really working. They're always doing something always like kind of like taking a phone call going to a lunch. But, so I would have turned this down immediately. They're like, you're going to be a security guard.

I mean, I wouldn't do that anywhere. And certainly not in the Congo. Like if my best friend was like, you know, my dad loves you. He wants you to be a security guard in the Congo. I'd be like, fuck off, man. It's the summer. It's the summer it's the summer like we're not gonna I'm not going over to the African Congo with your dad your

dad's a nut but apparently some of these kids did and now they're fucked are they still in jail yeah at least one of them is this or this so the son and then this other kid this other Tyler Higbee his like parents talked to the news the other day let's see what's going on with these and by the way how do you let your kid other kid, this other Tyler Higbee, his parents talked to the news the other day. Let's see what's going on with these. And by the way, how do you let your kid go? My son went to the Congo. It was supposed to be a family trip to Africa, but it turned deadly over the weekend. Rebecca Higbee says her son Tyler Thompson was invited to travel

through several countries in Africa with his longtime friend Marcel Malanga. My son Tyler has been friends with Marcel for years. They've been playing football together. And every summer Marcel would go see his dad just like any divorced couple. He would go spend summers with his dad in Africa. Marcel is the son of Christian Malanga, the man killed in a shootout after an alleged attack on the Congolese presidential palace. Higby says Malanga was shot in front of her son and Marcel. The man killed in a shootout after an alleged attack on the Congolese presidential palace. Higby says Malanga was shot in front of her son and Marcel. Since then, they've been trying to get any information about Thompson.

They've been searching online and the images they've seen have them frightened. We just see images and every time we see an image, my son seems more... You know these two lesbos were so excited that their kid was going to Africa You know they were so excited these lesbians when he's like I'm going to Africa there were see they told everyone in the community They told everybody in the fucking community. They were walking up and down the streets going our sons in Africa He's in the Congo right now our sons in the Congo. They brought it up at every party They brought it up at every party. They brought it up at every fucking bakery.

They come in, oh yeah, we need a cake. And well, our son, it won't be for our son actually, he's in the Congo. He's in the Congo. And they thought it was great. But, you know, if you overthrow a government, you gotta win. That's part of it.

If you try for a coup, you gotta win. Like when the CIA killed President Kennedy and installed Johnson, they succeeded. Had they not succeeded, it wouldn't have been good. But they were, they succeeded. They planned and they executed. This guy's got a bunch of, what are they college kids? high school, college? Yeah, 21, 22, yeah. Or college, okay. He's got a bunch of college kids trying to take over. And that makes me think, can you do that?

Can you take over a little small African nation with a bunch of college kids? Because that's going to be the next thing. Everyone's going to be like, we all got priced out of New York and LA, we just take over a small African nation. I mean, that is really the way to be rich. The way to be rich is to go to Africa. That is the way to be rich. It's like the old school way to be rich, really.

And I know that some people are gonna find us insensitive culturally, but it is. To go to Africa is the, you know, everyone's like, you go to the Hamptons and Palm Beach and Malibu yeah Still laws They're still gonna tell you what to do. They're still gonna tell you what to do. They're still gonna tell you what to do But if you go to Africa and you set yourself up, right? There is nothing you cannot do and nothing you cannot have truly if you

set yourself up right in Africa you're a warlord you're the government if you like I don't know I don't think I have enough money to be an African warlord but I think if I you know what you think about it because that's what this guy wanted to do this guy was, I've been living here, but I'm not where I want to be. I'm going to get my son and a few of his friends, and we're going to overthrow this goddamn government. Did they even get close?

Play the rest of this. Did they get close? Probably not. Like, wrist looks broken, nose looks broken. Miranda Thompson is Tyler's stepmother. She says Tyler was scrapbooking his trips to Africa, showing off their visit to Johannesburg and the restaurants they visited in Swaziland.

The last communication he sent to his mother was that he loved her. But since Sunday, no direct- By the way, I bet the guy who got shot was so charismatic. I have been led to do crazy things by the charismatic parents of my friends. I was in two boating accidents with Bud Munster, who I thought was great.

I used to drink so much with my friends' parents. They could get you to do anything. Really, I remember I was driving home once from a bar and I sideswept this parked car. I was like, what the fuck? And Bud Munster and Claire, my friends' parents were in the back. They go, keep going, keep going.

I was just driving fast. Cigarette in my mouth. I finally got to their house. I ran out of the car and ran into the back room. But these are the types of things that if you're a charismatic parent, you can really convince. I wonder if these kids didn't know what was going on

until they got there. They're getting drunk. They're getting Congo drunk, which is a different thing They're really fucked up and he goes listen. I'm gonna we're gonna overthrow this government. We're gonna be kings We're gonna be kings and I bet there was a minute in in and they're all alive right these kids Yes, all the kids are alive. This is a great lesson. And here's the thing. They were all probably relieved when the guy got shot, because he was probably coming on real strong.

He was probably very intense. The last few hours of that guy's life were very intense. And I've had this experience where the fun dad gets dark. And when the fun dad gets dark, it's all over. And you know that. When someone's fun dad, or you've been getting fucked up with all weekend turns around and starts to say some really wild shit

and you're like, oh, I don't know about that. Really? Mr. Johnson, are you serious about all that stuff? You know, they start to go, there's a switch that flips because the fun dad can get really dark really quick. And I think this was the switch that flip where he started looking at his son and his friends and going, we're gonna overthrow this government.

And I bet everybody's like, it started as a joke. Like, okay, we're gonna go up to the Congolese palace and what? And this guy was deadly serious and he got shot in front of everybody and they were relieved when he got shot. They're like, thank God, cause that was rough. And now they get put in jail

and I don't know what happens to them. Utah parents terrified. We don't know where he is. We don't know what he's doing, what he's going through. We're just terrified. For now, they can only wait for any news from the State Department. We get to trust that it's their job, right? And that it's what they do and their job is to look after American citizens.

What an interesting take. and that it's what they do and their job is to look after American citizens. What an interesting take. By the way, what an interesting take. This is the problem with institutionalists. She's like, well, we just have to trust that it's their job and their job is to look after Americans. Your son tried to overthrow the government of the Congo. to overthrow the government of the Congo. The State Department's job is kind of to like ignore that. What are they going to do? Your son was involved in a coup attempt. They don't give a shit. Well, it's their job.

It's the State Department's job. I'm sure they deal with this all the time. I'm sure they deal with people from Utah accidentally doing a coup all the time. And we just have to be, you know, we just have to have faith and trust dude The State Department is busy with all this shit going on with Israel right now. Can you imagine knocking up? Hi, are we doing anything about the Utah teenager who's stuck in the conga? Hey, hey, get the fuck out of my office Okay, how about you get the fuck out of my office? Okay I'm on the fuck up to my head and fucking Rafa. I got incursions. I got headless, baby, but he's bleeding

You think I give a shit about a retard from Utah try to overthrow the cover into the fucking Congo I hope they kill him and I hope they use that fucking thing with a Smear honey all over you and let fire ants eat you or bees or something I read about that I I don't know if that's what they actually do or if it's sort of a racist thing that I was reading But the point is it's a cool punishment nonetheless, but nobody at the State Department. This is not priority one Russia Ukraine China Israel Palestine and then these these fucking lesbos

Sorry ladies This is their job there. I'm sure they're really concerned about our son ladies. This is their job. I'm sure they're really concerned about our son there. This is their job, isn't it? Isn't this what they do? That's not what their job is in the State Department. Someone should explain to these women that's absolutely not their job in the State Department.

That is not their job. Their job at the State Department is to try to figure out the State Department is to try to figure out how to say that Rafa attack was caused by lightning like a heat storm. That's their job at the State Department. They're sitting around going like, well, what if there was just, can we, could we engineer footage of lightning striking that camp? Maybe lightning struck a pile of ammunition. Well, have you ever heard of an electrical storm?

They're actually quite powerful. That's their job at the State Department. Not this, but anyway, let's finish this up. Literally all we can do at this point is trust that they are going to do that job. That's sad. Well, here's the good news. If the kids get out of jail,

they have learned the humongous lesson. It is a lesson that you'll never learn at summer camp. You learn you cannot trust a charismatic psychopath because apparently, now I've almost, Bud Munster said to me once, this was after the second boating accident, he said, you have to stop hanging out with me. I'm trying to kill myself. And I kind of internalized that and I was like,

oh, I see. Charismatic people can get you killed. Charismatic people can get you killed. Most people suck. So they cannot convince you to do anything Really? They can't. Most people are just like H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h But I bet he was fun. Get a close-up on him. Yeah. Yeah. That guy's a charismatic guy. He is a charismatic individual and he convinced his son's friends to go to the Congo and try to overthrow a government. Not all at once, by the way. He was just like, you come to Africa. You just like you come to Africa you learn how to be man Learn how to be man in Africa You in America you're all faggot, but you come here you learn to be man, and they're like what does that mean?

They don't know they think it's gonna be fun. They think it's gonna be like American Ninja Warrior But instead this guy gets shot in the head in front of them But I'll tell you this you learn the limits of and you got to ask for the receipts a little I guess That's what you learn after you've watched your friend's father get killed in a failed coup attempt If you make it out of the Congo prison, which by the way They might not and our government should spend zero time trying to make that happen Like literally the affidavit should be one phone call to the Congo you go Hey, would do you how do you feel?

How do you feel about this? We'll give you a couple of bucks nothing crazy We'll give you a couple of bucks. We'll send you like 10 G's Something like that if you let this guy out we should know we got too much going on We got and they should tell the mother that they should tell the two lesbians that. They should tell them they should go, we got a lot going on. Like they probably call the State Department every day going like, hey, what's the deal with our son? And then you go, hey, hey lady,

I don't know if you've heard, but we got a lot going on. We got a lot going on. It's getting real hot out there. And we don't know where your son is. We haven't heard from your son. If we are here from him, we'll pass a message along but we're busy we're busy and they may never see him again and that is sad this is 2024 you've got two lovely lesbians who have an adopted son who then goes to the Congo with his best

friend's father and ends up in prison because of a failed coup attempt. It's so 2024. It really is. And they were happy about it. Oh, he's in Africa. He's in Africa. Well, he's in Africa.

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What does it mean for the country themed restaurant? I think the problem with the Cracker Barrel is you really do feel when you're sitting in it, like you're at a clan rally. It's not the most people don't mind being white trash. They don't wanna feel like white trash all the time. And the Cracker Barrel aesthetic is kind of a garbage person aesthetic. It's just a, you know, it's a mythology

about like what it's like when you're living off the land. Everything's real simple here're living off the land. Everything's real simple here at Cracker Barrel. Come on in and get a home-cooked meal at Cracker Barrel. And what it really is is a dump and good pancakes are good. The food's actually decent. It's okay. But it needs to step up to the new kind of more modern fascistic thing. We can do modern fascistic because that will be a genre of restaurant. It's like a fascist modern place. But it's got you got to get rid of this fucking like hearth and these old fucking skis on the fucking walls.

Get rid of all this crap. Get rid of the bare skins and the fucking, you know, these weird contraptions. You got to design a modern, patriotic place. Where you can say, I'm a modern patriot. I don't ask no questions, give me my chicken. Give me my chicken, I don't wanna know nothing about nothing. Give me my chicken, I support the military in everything they do, in everything they will maybe do.

War is good for the soul, That's what it should say when you go to Cracker Barrel. It should say war is good for the soul on the wall. Cracker Barrel, by the way, should just be to get you ready for war as a restaurant. It should be what Fox News is where it just gets you ready for war. And MSNBC is actually starting to do that now too. you ready for war and MSNBC is actually starting to do that now too. Most of our cultural institutions in the country have just decided that their main function is just to prepare the population for war. So what Cracker Barrel, like the menu should just say rations, they should say rations on it and in your waiter should come over and say, God bless America, every sacrifice is remembered here at Cracker Barrel. Like it should just get you ready to go and die somewhere.

That's the theme of the Cracker Barrel restaurant. And I think that it needs to be redesigned so it kind of look like, they should just have TVs with military flyovers where you just see the planes like flying over football games you should get out of Cracker Barrel and Punch your wife in the face because you're so revved up You're so revved up. You should come out of Cracker Barrel and commit a random hate crime You should just commit a random hate crime at a rest stop when you walk out of Cracker Barrel. That's the point of Cracker Barrel. You get out of there ready to fight. You're ready to fight because that's what this country is about. It's about war. They

just got to retool it a little bit. They got to retool it. What is the CEO saying? What's his plan? Does he agree with me? It's a she. She said that there are no. What? I've located one of the problems. It's a she. That's a problem. Cracker Barrel says, CEO, we're not as relevant as we once were. The 54-year-old roadside eatery with its old country store and down-home menu of chicken fried steak grits

and hash brown casserole has been steadily losing customers for the past decade. They want to start refreshing the interior and exterior with a different color palette. They got to go hard in there. They got to remind people what this country is about. Killing for God. That's what Cracker Barrel should be about. Killing people for God, Jesus, the white one.

Cracker Barrel should be about killing. You raise a family until they're old enough to kill and then you send them, you unleash them on the world. We're just not as relevant as we once were Chief Executive Julie Fells Massino, who took the helm of the company nine months ago said, some of our recipes and processes haven't evolved in decades. Well, figure it out.

Or you're going the way of red lobster. Cracker Barrel is a rest stop meth dungeon. It really is. There's zero reason to eat at Cracker Barrel, really, unless you're like, it's where human traffickers like, like take a break and eat a little bit. But it can be redesigned as a fascist place, as an American fascist eatery.

This is the ex president of Taco Bell, this woman. She was an executive that did wonderful things at Taco Bell, and so now she's Cracker Barrel. Well, here's what Taco Bell's done. What Taco Bell's done is consistently aimed for junkies. That's what Taco Bell does. They use bright colors, and they use the same five ingredients, but it's for junkies. It's marketed to junkies. It's marketed to

stoners. It's marketed to people that are out late at night, drunks. They didn't try to be healthy. They didn't try to do any of that shit. The Cantina menu is fake. They are, their bread and butter is people that are out at one o'clock in the morning and they know it. They know it. This is the woman in the meetings when they say, should we try to appeal to people? She goes absolutely not. We will lose this company if we try to appeal to people. She's got to be the one in the meeting that has the balls when they say should we make Cracker Barrel more inclusive or more diverse? She's got to go no actually it should go the other way. It should be

the scariest restaurant in this country. We should literally put on our website, we're the home of traditional values, there should be a picture of Donald Trump, a picture of Jesus, and a picture of ribs. And that's what they should do. That's their brand, lean into it. No DEI cracker barrel. You're going back to basics. We are a restaurant for white people who are going to send their children to go die in Iraq or something before they have a chance to get addicted to drugs at home. It's the last meal you have before you drop your kids at Fort Bragg. That's cracker. It is the last meal you have before you drop your children to go die with honor. That's what you're going to do. You're going to die with honor. That's what you're gonna do.

You're gonna die with honor, son, because we've seen your mother's medicine cabinet. There's a few things missing and we know you've been drinking and hanging out with that Spanish girl. So guess where you're going? Wherever the government says. Wherever the government says, you're going. And we're gonna have a nice family meal at Cracker Barrel and then we're gonna drop you off and then you're gonna go shoot a baby in its face because that's what you're doing. Go die with honor at Cracker Barrel. Here at Cracker Barrel, we understand that

everybody can be a little bit of a problem, even the youngins. Ain't that right, Israel? Cracker Barrel stands with Israel. Cracker Barrel should come out and stand with Israel. Right after the RAF attack, Cracker Barrel should say a lot of restaurants puss out when things get tough.

But here at Cracker Barrel, we know what being an ally means. And we don't mean an ally to those fucking dog masks wearing faggots in San Francisco. We mean an ally to Israel. Israel's getting ready for the coming of Jesus Christ. He's coming back and they're clearing the land, clearing the land to prepare for the Lord Jesus to come back. So here at Cracker Barrel, if you come in here and you can prove you're a Zionist, you get a free slice of pie, kosher pie. Come on down to Cracker Barrel.

Casualties happen. They should be out in front. Because all these New York City Jews would never be caught dead in a Cracker Barrel. Flip the script. Flip the script. Cracker Barrel should be targeting here at Cracker Barrel. It's come to our attention. Most people don't even know

what Zionism is. We're given a course on it. So if you come to our Cracker Barrel, our pre-fixed four course dinner, one of our waitstaff will explain to you the necessity of keeping the Holy Land holy for the return of Christ, no matter what. Come on down to Cracker Barrel and in four courses of food

we'll tell you what needs to be done. We'll tell you what needs to be done. I don't care how you pronounce it. Ra-fa-ra-fa. It's all bad to me. Get ready, Cracker Barrel's coming. Cracker Barrel, they should sponsor the Israeli war. Cracker Barrel is the official sponsor of Israel's war in Gaza. Sending biscuits to Netanyahu. Cracker Barrel, some call it a genocide. We call it good eatin'. Some say it's a genocide. We say it's good eating.

Here at Cracker Barrel we think, what if drones could deliver gravy? What kind of world would we be living in? A much better world than the one we live in now. Here at Cracker Barrel there's nothing better than a man marrying his own daughter. Cracker Barrel, we believe in incest and Jews. Cracker Barrel. That's what they should do. If you want to have sex with your own child, you bring him to Cracker Barrel. Get married to your own child at Cracker Barrel.

There's nothing wrong with it. Cracker Barrel. I mean, listen, what if they became the official restaurant of pedophiles? We're the official restaurant of alternative lifestyles. Cracker Barrel. For minor attracted persons. Maps. Maps get really hassled in this country. Come on down to Cracker Barrel. Ain't nobody gonna rat on you. Come on down and get a good down home meatloaf with your boy or girl.

If you're a minor attracted person, there's a lot of judgement in society. But not here at Cracker Barrel the official restaurant for maps minor attracted people These should all be pitched as brand alternatives to like homestyle family Here's the thing. There's no more homestyle family shit. Everyone's on meth, everything, every little small town is like a meth dungeon. It's a meth factory, the rivers are polluted.

Now they're hunting and fishing, that's all over. So you can turn it into a fascist war factory or you could make it a place for like minor attracted people, maps, and people that are into incest. It's at rest stops, crackerrel. We know where it is, right? It's a side-of-the-road restaurant. You don't have a lot of options. You can't make it... No one's getting a shellfish tower at Cracker Barrel. Make it

a restaurant for pedophiles. Come on down to Cracker Barrel. We don't ask no questions, except how much money you want to save on our dinner. Cracker Barrel for minor attracted persons. Hi, my name is Jules and we've done a lot at Taco Bell by focusing on feeding junkies. We thought it'd be very interesting if we just played around with the idea of just alluding very vaguely to incest in some of the commercials and kind of targeting minor attracted people. That's all.

And it doesn't have to be explicit. Maybe it's a father kind of smiling at his daughter while he cuts the pancakes or, again, America's going to have, listen, don't get mad at me. America's going to have very dark place and I'm the CEO of this company and I don't wanna lose. I hate losing. My name is Jules Fels Massino. Don't get mad at me. America is going to a very dark place and I'm the CEO of this company and I don't want to lose.

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They gotta think about things like this. That's what, listen, the demographics in this country are not going to be the old demographics. People are becoming monsters. You're gonna have to cater to them. It's gonna be a reality. You're gonna have to cater to like people that are not great. They're not ideal. They're not what you would want. They're not what you would want. Okay? So I'm not saying

which ones you have to do. I'm just saying you're gonna have to make a choice. Talk about me the right choice. You go junkies. People that are on drugs. That's who eats here. People that are drunk and they're on drugs. They drink and they use drugs to make themselves happy. And they need cheap food that is colorful and quick. They don't want to wait. They have bad impulse control, which is why they're eating here. So we need to get something warm in their hand in five minutes before they start to fight each other.

That's the way Taco Bell works. Hot in their hand within five minutes before they start to fight each other. That's the way Taco Bell works. Hot in their hand within five minutes. Most of them are in their cars and they're drunk. So they will start fighting with the car behind them if the food is not out in time. It is for drug addicts who are coming home from a night of drinking and using drugs. That is Taco Bell.

I've been there many a night. That's who it is. We're all drug addicts in that drive-thru. We're junkies. We're drunks. We're not good people. We're not coming from the fucking whatever it is. We're not coming from the food bank. We're not coming from the... We're coming from a place where we were drinking and using drugs, and now we're at Taco Bell and we're eating this gooey crap in the back of the car like an animal you are and you're eating all this shit and then you fall asleep you wake up in the middle of the night and you feel this like this lava in your chest and a lot of times

it's called acid reflux it comes up through your esophagus and and and you wake up with it and then you like you'll go to the you'll run in the bathroom and start spitting it out until eventually you just actually go you know what it is and you just swallow it you like wake up in the middle of night you go oh that's the lava it's like the food because your body doesn't want the food their body goes no no no this wasn't food and your body goes expel it it's not it's not food if you've ever watched what they do and talk about the things they use Their body goes, no, no, no, this wasn't food. And your body goes, expel it. It's not food. It's not food. If you've ever watched what they do and talk about,

the things they use aren't even utensils. It's like a weird thing that just flips a quesadilla over. It's not a knife. It's not a fork. It's like this weird lever they use. And it's all just things of sauce. They squirt and then like paste. But it's not food

Nothing looks like food. You can't identify when something's been a food So the body the human body after it's in there immediately starts panicking used to panic if you eat a lot of Taco Bell quick Your body panics It doesn't know what's happening and you'll be in the car and you have this real thick Like feeling of this you feel really bad really quickly And then if you go to bed with that food in thick feeling of this, you feel really bad, really quickly. And then if you go to bed with that food, in the middle of the night, you wake up with what they call acid reflux. And it's just that food that is not really breaking down because the body doesn't want

it. And it just comes up in your throat and you feel it. It's holding in your throat. But then you get so used to it, you just comes up in your throat and you feel it. It's holding in your throat and then you but then you get so used to it You just wake up and this is when you know, you're a fat slob You wake up and you go. Oh, that's just the bile in my stomach trying to escape And then you go. Nope and you swallow it and go Nope you go back in Taco bell i've eaten a Taco Bell more consistently than any

other restaurant in my life. I know Taco Bell when, I mean, I know Taco Bell in the 90s. I know Taco Bell, I know Taco Bell, I know everything about it and I know this bitch and I know what she did for Taco Bell. She, they have resisted every single change that every other fast food restaurant made. Soder a good friend of mine is a great joke about this Dan Soder's joke is because McDonald's they were trying to be like no we're healthy and then Dan Soder they're like Taco Bell they're like nope we're crunchy like like they know what they're doing It's words that drug addicts can understand That's what Taco Bell does and the food is so so what Cracker Barrel has to do

is choose a course Like red lobster chose a course. It was black people who were leaving church That's who it was and I love red lobster and I like black people who leave church and I like a lot of things are gonna eat But that was a red lobsters choice They had a demographic choice okay it's like Fridays Fridays for a while like their choice it was like they went with like teachers because like the whole idea of like thank God it's Fridays like attracted like these it was like a weird cringe thing. It was like a teacher vibe or like middle management,

lower level corporate, cheap suit marketing dirt bag people that would show up and like get the Jack Daniel's platter, get the appetizer platter and like get like a margarita at Fridays and like, thank God it's right. And the bartender would pretend to flirt with them and they'd be like, you're in again. Some guy would walk in and he'd be like, you're in again, huh?

And she'd be like, yeah, I didn't see you last week. And he'd be like, well, I was working or I was saying I was working. Like it's one of those. And that's who Fridays had like the weird dad types who would flirt with the bartender red lobster had church people on Sundays Taco Bell had the junkies

You gotta choose Outback had like families of 12 Like families of 12 people were like people would go into outback steakhouse And they would bring blankets and pillows and cribs and like it would be their home for two hours. Outback just courted like very large, they had like the largest families I've ever seen would go to the Outback Steakhouse, like white trash families.

But I think Cracker Barrel needs to make a decision. These theme restaurants tell us more about our lives and our culture than museums So if you think I spend too much time on them fuck off, they tell us more about who we are Then music the Guggenheim for the average person means nothing It means people would get on my tour bus. They go what museum should we go to I said stop it It means going to the Met and seeing the temple of Dundur it means nothing to you it means nothing Go to Charlie O's

It's a nice little cheap cheap cheap steakhouse in Penn Station and go see a ranger game go to Charlie O's theme restaurants Tell us Who we are as a people. Museums don't like, you know, academic institutions barely do. Politics sort of does. Theme restaurants.

You will learn everything you need to know about America by visiting like an Applebee's on a Wednesday night and just sitting there. You will learn everything you need to learn about everybody and about this whole cut. You will need nothing else. You won't need a poll from Nate Silver 538. You will need nothing else. You eat a meal at Applebee's, you walk to your car, and you get it. Immediately you get it. You understand the whole thing.

The whole thing. The food that doesn't make any sense. Bourbon fajita patty burgers. It doesn't make sense. The food that fajita burgers at Applebee's at one point. It's a burger and a fajita. It's party, party down. Eating good in the neighborhood and it's not good.

Oh, it is not good. It's worse than frozen food that you would just buy and eat. But you will learn so much about, and the people talk to you too, you go, so you know, you can say to them, like you're working a lot, and they'll tell you, they'll just be like, well, I'm only on two days this week. They go, I'm going to school,

I wanna be a dental hygienist, my mother took her own life, my brother's on the lam, from the law, my mother killed herself, she couldn't really deal with that. I work two days a week. I want to be a dental hygienist, you know, and go, thank you. Kind of the fajita burger. What's good today? The fajita burger. What is it? They go, I don't know. They'll tell you to they go, I don't really know what that one is. And I think it's a burger and a fajita. Yeah. Little giggle. All right, I'll have that

Yeah, we just serve it with seven sauces whichever one you want. Just put anything on it put anything on it We're all in hell We're all in hell here Sir, are you a map if you're a map you get a free dessert. Are you? If you're a no-contact map, we want to show our appreciation by giving you a free dessert. If you're a no contact map we want to show our appreciation by giving you a free dessert. So if you are a dormant pedophile we have a free dessert for you if you're a no contact map. Well they shot another guy in Minneapolis. Very sad this is a cop who was killed in Minneapolis. Minneapolis is really a fucking dump. It said this guy, Jamal, what was his last name? Mitchell. Jamal Mitchell goes in, he's ambushed, he's killed, he was a

father, he was recognized for saving two elderly people from their burning home on his third day in the job and the guys ambushed and killed and you know this is an absolute tragedy. It's one of the saddest things I've read and the people of Minnesota consistently vote for this type of shit. They vote for defunding cops. They vote for making it easier for criminals. It's a disgusting place. The people there are disgusting pale white demons from hell. And this is the way they want to live. And they live in little igloos. And that's what they do. And they they they're disgusting good pancakes there for whatever reason, I don't know. But they consistently get the people killed that they supposedly care about. And this guy is a hero and I hope there's a GoFundMe or something,

we'll donate to it for his family. It's absolutely insane and hopefully the people of Minnesota stop behaving like this. I mean, he's like the third or fourth cop to get killed in a while. But again, they just constantly don't want to live in a civil society. The people of Minnesota and the Great Lakes region, they do not want to live in a civil society. I don't know why that is about.

I don't know why they do not want to live in a civil society. But I've talked to many of them when I'm there and this is what they do not want it. They do not like civilization and they are the enemies of it. In Minnesota, they are the enemies of civilization. In Minneapolis, Minnesota. That's just what it is. They are the enemies. They are the enemies.

There's a few good ones that come to the casino to see me every couple of years and I like them. Those are the good ones. But you know who you are out there, enemies of civilization trying the good ones. But you know who you are out there, enemies of civilization trying to destroy the earth. You know who you are. And a lot of you live in Minnesota, Minneapolis, Minnesota. There's something wrong there. It snows for like 10 months and these gaunt white demons just keep trying to ruin everything and they I don't know now they're see this is pretty crazy this situation down there is pretty crazy you know and

listen this is where the Floyd thing went down which you know obviously was not good we're not saying that we want that happening, but we also just can't have cops getting ambushed and killed. Can't have cops getting ambushed and killed. This isn't safe for anybody. And I just have nothing. I have nothing good to say about Minneapolis, Minnesota. I've never met a person from there that I've liked. I have never visited it once and went, wow, thank God I'm here. It is just gross. Truly. Am I wrong? Oh, you have a lake?

Oh, is a lake nice? Shut up. We'll smack you with the Pacific Ocean or the Atlantic. We don't need that part of the country. It's got to go. That gaunt white folk, oh shucks, I'm a folksy white shucks, oh shucks, look at me, I'm from Minneapolis. Die and burn in hell. You are demons.

They are! They are demons. They're demonic, these people. They're disgusting. I would be great to announce a show there right now. I would love to, and I would sell it because they know. The people that agree with me know. We have nothing left, folks.

We have everything's, the Comedy Store. It's the last time I'm gonna be in LA for a while. I'm going to Hamptons for the summer. Fuck off. Ryman Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee, and Displanes, Illinois, they keep yelling me. I gotta keep plugging this, November 2nd. I mean, well, leave me alone.

They keep screaming at me. These agents yell and scream This Plains, Illinois the event center at Rivers Casino right before the election. Come on down please To see me To see me We're here on patreon every week We'll see Patreon every week.

We'll see everybody next week. Hold your head Donald. Hold your head sir. Can we get Donald Trump saying cash before we leave to play us out? Let's get Donald J Trump. You might be on the fence about this guy, but when they say what's what's a clatter of your bond and he says cash and then walks away good night everyone and we're gonna play off with Donald cash Trump