The Tim Dillon Show - 396 - Rodent Men & Justin Timberlake

Episode Date: June 22, 2024

Tim examines the rat men phenomenon, the pride flag, Justin Timberlake's arrest, summer abortions, cartels’ immigration packages, the most American city and happy dictators. American Royalty Tour ���� https://punchup.live/TimDillon SPONSORS: Morgan & Morgan For more information go to forthepeople.com/tim Mood Get 20% off your first order plus a free THC pre-roll at hellomood.com with promo code TIM. Shady Rays Head to shadyrays.com and use code: TIMD for $20 off polarized sunglasses. Hims Go to Hims.com/TIM for your personalized ED treatment options. Robinhood Get Started At Robinhood.com/Boost ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. My business manager, not answering his phone, celebrating Juneteenth out in Palm Springs. He's celebrating Juneteenth out there in Palm Springs. Black population, four people. And so I guess he's gotten them all together for Juneteenth celebration because he was not answering his phone on Juneteenth,

which is hilarious. We still, you know, we want to make sure that everyone is celebrating all of the holidays, which is good. Women are having sex with the rat men now. People are attracted to men with small rodent-like faces. This is culture. Timothee Chalamet and Jeremy Allen White. I'm not saying you look like rats. That's the that's the guardian. I'm not saying that. I'm not inferring that you look like. But I'm saying, but they are saying it as a positive. They're saying that women are like, they like,

this is the new guy, it's the year of the rat. They're saying this is what women want. You know, women have these things, these fetishes that float in and out. The dad bod comes in and then it goes out, right? The muscular jaw kind of always stays in, but the nerd comes in and out. The dad bod

the rodent and this is the latest iteration of a fetish for many women in America is For whatever reason they like these kind of rodent type men. I don't you know, I don't, you know, I don't know what it is, but people like, they look like sexy rats is what women are saying. It's the year of the rat summer. It's a rat summer. So if you're a rat, if you have rat-like features, if you're a rodent, it is your summer. It is your time. Women are into this. They want it. And again, I'm not, they're saying all of this. Chalamet looks like a rat from a Disney film.

Jeremy Allen White looks like a slightly tranquilized rat. O'Connor looks like sort of a sexy henchman rat, the sort of tall and lumbering rat employed to maintain the personal safety of the rat king The rat king is obviously barry Cogan from ireland who looks like the sort of rat that would have your face off if you cornered him You know, I mean it's something it's something and People like it it's there there There is a certain sex appeal to it.

It is probably the beginning of the bestiality. I would imagine it's to we're opening the door with these rat like men to a time when people just have sex with animals, I guess but well, it's not so much that people are having Hooking up with these men. These are attractive guys. It's that it's being discussed in these terms that people are Fantasizing that they're with a cartoon rat. I think is you know You know, this is maybe something that people would not have vocalized at another time.

This is maybe something that would have been left, left alone. But to all the rat men out there who listen to this show, this is your time. This is your summer. You got to go out there and make the this show, this is your time, this is your summer, you got to go out there and make the most of it. For a while you were probably ignored, people found your kind of squirrely features bothersome. Not anymore. They want it. The women want, well the women want a guy, there's a masculinity to being a rat, I think. There's a certain get the cheese element of it. There's a certain filthiness. The tunnels, the rat tunnels, the Hamas.

Is this connected? Are we connecting any of it? Does it have a sociopolitical thing? You know, women love true crime because they kind of want to be thrown in a trunk. Do they want a rat to drag him into the tunnels? I don't know, not even going there. Not even going there. The show has advertisers that we love and respect. Not going there. Don't want to. Uninterested. The Supreme Court bitch,

who is great, by the way. Now, the Supreme Court obviously will go nuts and try to, you know, ban the morning after pill and condoms and they will try try to, you know, ban the morning after pill and condoms and they will try to ban, you know, any type of probably they'll ban everything or they'll try. But this woman, Maryanne Alito, I'm never a fan of this type of journalism, by the way. I know that a lot of people do it. And I don't care so much about it. It goes both ways. James O'Keefe does a lot of this,

where he finds people that are willing to admit certain things. And this woman got Mary Ann Alito to admit certain things. Here's why I've never been a fan of this type of journalism. I already know what they're gonna get the people to admit. So it's not an aha moment to me because I'm smart. So I'm not shocked at any of this gotcha stuff.

Not that it doesn't have its place and I'm not chastising the people who do it, but I'm never like oh my oh my god whoa this is earthshattering this is groundbreaking that uh you know someone at the pentagon uh is talking about uh you know diversity equity and inclusion and they don't like trump and there's people in these institutions that we get it. I know all that and I know that this woman's a nut. She's a fun nut though. And I get it. Her whole deal is she's basically this and this they're doing the bit about how she's like a real

housewife and she's a Supreme Court wife and her and Ginny Thomas, Claren Thomas's wife, who's a little bit of a nut, they're out there getting boozed up, shooting from the hip, going hard, and this woman is saying things about the pride flag, which as a gay person, I don't even know what it is anymore. I look at the pride flag in LA, I don't even know what it is.. I look at the pride flag in LA I don't even know what it is circles and squares and triangles. There's so many colors I don't know what it is or what it signifies or what it's about. I know what it initially was about I don't know what it is about now and I don't get it I stare at it and I I'm trying to imagine what color represents what thing literally a

Friend of mine. We looked at one in one in West Hollywood the other day, my friend goes, is that part for the hostages? I'm like, well, I don't think they put, I don't think they put. Yeah, let's break down what the pride flag is. Can we get all, what is the circle in the yellow? Can we analyze what it is? Because that's her big beef. She has to look at this pride flag. And I don't know if I even blame her only because it's so convoluted and crazy now. I don't even know what it is or what it's supposed to be.

It's like you get it was a rainbow and then it was like, okay, fine. But now it's it's it's the by the way, and this has been bandied about by other people. The idea that they took something gay and made it like not stylish, not aesthetically pleasing is wild. Like they've made this new pride flag and it's something that's very ugly it's not nice it's clashes all the colors clash

they run together you would never have this in your house a gay interior designer would never put this in your home they would have a stroke so now it's buy inclusive interior designer would never put this in your home. They would have a stroke. So now it's buy inclusive, the buy, buy. But is there anything that has like a breakdown of it? I know it's difficult.

Yeah, we'll find it. I don't even know if they know what it is. They might just keep adding things to it. They should keep adding things to it. They should keep adding things to it. Because people have given up. No one's even doing what I'm doing right now, which is going, what color corresponds to which group? Like right now there's a part of the flag that is like, it's yellow or gold and it has a circle, a purple circle. Does anyone with a gun to their head know what that is?

Hold on, here we go. The red in the flag represents life. Orange represents healing. Yellow represents sunlight. Green is nature. Indigo is blue, represent whatever whatever serenity the last color the meaning of the new progress pride flag The new progress pride flag includes new colors and a new design that are meant to represent people of color

As well as people that are intersex and non-binary Pink baby blue and white represent trans people, okay Color placement a new shape Listen to this listen the word progress of the new flag isn't only about adding the new colors to it It's because of the shape which differs from the original design of horizontal stripes only It's because of the shape which differs from the original design of horizontal stripes only. The progress pride flag shows the white, pink, baby, blue, black, and brown stripes in a triangle shape with the six colored rainbow stack next to them. This was done intentionally to convey the separation and meaning and shift focus of how important these new issues are. The placement of the new colors in a narrow shape is meant to convey the progress still needed.

Although the pride flag continues to evolve, the most recent update includes a yellow triangle with a purple circle. Yes, inside it to represent the intersex community. My favorite thing now is to go to a Pride flag without that circle and go, what about the intersex and really throw someone off? What about them? So that's, that's the Pride flag. Now it's all, I mean, look at it, just take a look at how aesthetically displeasing this flag is, how confusing it is. It is a Trump ad. It really is.

It's become, it's because people are looking at it going what is this? What is it? What does it signify and when does it end? Does it end? Does the pride flag have an end? This is a question. Is there any time when someone will go, this is a bit crowded? No? Is there one person in the meeting that goes, this seems a bit crowded?

Cause there's probably, you know, that's not the only thing. They've pitched all kinds of changes to that. You got to remember like how many genders there are. Like there's been a lot of things pitched. So this as crazy as this is, this represents like the conservative approach in a sense to the Pride flag. Because someone had to go, we've got to stop a vet. Like, we can only add six new colors to this. We have to stop at six.

So it is someone in the meeting had to go, we can't do every color. Someone probably goes, what about emerald green for the Irish? I know where you're going there, you know? But it's just, I don't know. So we have Marianna Lido, who might hate gay people and might not, I don't know.

I don't know what this woman feels and I don't really care either about what she, you know, she's not on the Supreme Court, her husband is. Most of these issues will go to state votes, probably maybe gay marriage will abortion did and a lot of red states codify abortion in their constitutions. A lot of them, when those measures are put on the ballot, even states like Kansas, a lot of them choose to have abortion. I don't, you know, America has a strong strain of fundamentalism that runs through it.

And I think the return of it is sort of a, obviously we had a long period of time where people, this ideology on the left was ascendant of, this is sort of chaos. And we've seen the response to that. And obviously you have the response to that as more of a kind of people that are coming out that are more traditionalists and some of that obviously could be like Christian psychotic fundamentalism which you don't want. Hopefully you end where we can never seem to end

in this country in the middle and like some type of balance where it's more of a live and let live mentality where nobody is trying to, because that's when the country works the best is when everybody, I hate to say, but it's like everyone in this country does kind of need to be worked to death. You really can't give people in this country much time to reflect on anything else other than working.

Like they have to work. I'm not saying that they should be like working in unsafe conditions or not being paid, but like this whole idea that there's a real dimension of meaning in this country that people are gonna access when they're not working, it's just not borne out by the facts. It's just not, if people, my fear with AI and all this stuff is with less people working,

they're gonna have all the time in the world and idle time is the devil's plaything. People will just, like this woman doesn't do anything. This woman, this Alito lady, shouldn't do anything. Now, so she's looking at this pride flag and it's bothering her. I get it. And I'm not saying that she should be out there with her own cosmetics line or a charity where she makes hats for little dogs. I don't know what she should be doing,

but there is certainly an amount of free time that seems to be unhealthy for any human being. Boomers right now, some of them have a lot of free time on their hands and a lot of this has manifested in their behavior, which is quite insane. So I think that a lot of what we're seeing now from a lot of people, not everyone, there are people that are working unimaginably hard all the time. You know what

I mean? I don't know any of them. I've never met any of them, but they are out there. They truly I don't know any of them. I've never met any of them, but they are out there. They truly, I've met a few of them. But this woman's kind of sitting around all day knocking back a couple of drinks. Let's hear what she's got to say about this Pride flag that is bothering her. You know what I want? I want a Sacred Heart of Jesus flag because I have to look across the lagoon at the pride flag for the next month exactly And he's like, oh, please don't put up a flag I said I won't do it because I'm deferring to you, but when you were free of this nonsense I'm putting it up and I'm gonna send them a message every day. Maybe every week. I'll be changing the flags They'll be all kinds. I made a flag in my head. This is how I satisfy myself

I made a flag It's white and it's yellow and orange flames around it, and in the middle is the word, vergonia. Vergonia in Italian means shame. Yeah, I mean, you know, this is like a Long Island lunatic mom. This is all this woman is. Her husband just happens to be on the Supreme Court. She's creating flags in her head in her free time. That's something my friend's mother would do. This, you know, when you realize the people

that run everything don't really have any skills, it's terrifying, but you come to that realization sooner rather than later, and it'll help you out. This lady is not any type of, this isn't really news and it's not super interesting. She's a deeply conservative, probably Catholic Italian lady, you know, and she just is sick of looking at the pride flag, you know, and I don't really care what this woman feels about much. I think she's fun. She's probably a lunatic. I mean, living with her has got to be tough.

Can you imagine that he gets home every day and she's like, you want to hear about the new flag? Well, this one is baby blue to represent the sky. And in the middle is the word tortuga, which was the prison from Pirates of the Caribbean, Johnny Depp. And I watched that three hours. I watched all the movies today while you were at the Supreme Court.

I was watching the back to back Pirates of the Caribbean movies and taking the pill that the doctor gave me. This is just what you get at the end of your life when there's not much left to do. And by the way, you used to not hear from people at this stage of their life. They were shut in. That was a term, shut ins. It was great gardens. They would just tinker around their house. They'd play with little things. Louis C.K. has a great bit about how like he hates going into those little

stores because it's just a woman, him and a woman standing there and she's got all her little trinkets. It's like her little dream and she's got a little dumb store on Nantucket or wherever. And you know, she's made a little seagull with a, but that's kind of what it was forever when people got to this stage, because you start to decline in many ways mentally and in all kinds of ways. So when she's going, I don't care that she doesn't like the pride flag.

When she goes, I make flags, listen to this quote. Um, they'll be all kinds. I made a flag in my head. This is how I satisfy myself. I made a flag in my head. This is how I satisfy myself. I made a flag. So she's sitting at home all day making flags in her head of things that she would like to convey. And one of them is shame. But you know, this is what you get. This is what you get. All we do in our culture right now is listen to the musings of elderly people.

This is all we do. Whether it's presidents, whether they're in the Supreme Court, all we do is dissect the crazy things that old people say and try to find a meaning in them or get very scared and terrified because we're like, what do they mean? They're old. They're old. This woman is old. She's angry. She doesn't understand the pride flag I don't understand stand the pride flag, but I don't manufacture fake flags in my head that better represents the things that I care about But this woman is being made happy by this. This is how she satisfies herself. This is her quote This is how I make myself happy. I make little flags in my head

That are the things that I want. I want a return of shame to society. So I've made a flag in my head and I'm going to hang it outside of my house. And all she's saying, by the way, and I know people are like, well, her husband's a Supreme Court justice and da da da da da da. Well, Ruth Bader Ginsburg could have retired, but you didn't do that. You could have had a Democratic Supreme Court justice, but you yask-queened Ruth Bader Ginsburg until she was in the grave. So now you have a Supreme Court that's tilting conservative, but the Amy Coney Barrett lady won't be as conservative

as you think, because she's got like 25 African orphan children. So even though she'll be conservative, she'll also swing left on some weird things, already not loving some of the things. She does, I don't know, I think the Supreme Court will kick a lot of these issues down to the state. States will make these decisions.

And I'm not saying that that's a great thing in every case, but that seems to be where a lot of these cultural hot button issues land, is they land in state legislatures and they end up on ballots. And then people usually vote how their state wants to live. It's like, there are different states and they wanna live different ways and they all have benefits.

And Texas right now, you know, benefits and, you know, Texas right now, you might live with people that agree with you. It's 103 degrees and the lakes are swamps. They have the color of the Donkey Kong country, whatever it is when him and Diddy Kong are swimming through the nuclear, that's the color of the lake. But you might go and you'd be right to say they put people in jail when they commit crimes. That's true. California is beautiful, stunning, not 103 degrees, but you might get got. A homeless person might cut you when you take out your garbage.

That's not good. Life's about trade-offs. You got to decide what you want. You know, maybe you like upstate New York because it's cheap. But maybe you're sick of seeing old, broke down factories and it depresses you. And you know, you're sick of seeing old broke down factories and it depresses you and you're sick of looking at fucking like weird guys in the CVS trying to grab pills that they're not prescribed.

I don't know. You gotta find a place or you can do what I do. I just jump around because I get bored and I just dodge the things. So when the crazy hotness that season, I dodge it. I come to California, I dodge the things. So when the crazy hotness, that season, I dodge it. I come to California, I dodge the homeless. You know? And I go over to, you know, you can make your life

what you want it to be. And there's this idea that Mariana Lito is really gonna affect your life. And I don't think she will. Her husband could, but her husband can in certain ways than other ways he can't. And there's usually a workaround with a lot of these issues. Like there's usually a workaround with a lot of these issues. Doesn't mean they're not gonna try to do certain things, but again with abortion you could see like for example Texas now you can't get an abortion. You got to go elsewhere. And that's a nice trip.

That's a nice trip. Imagine you need an abortion in Texas in July. Lucky you. You're like, let's get the fuck out of here. It's 103 degrees at night. It's 97 degrees at night here. Can you get an abortion? let's get an abortion somewhere. You take a nice trip to Vermont for an abortion.

You get a nice pancake breakfast. You do a nice kayak in a Vermont lake and get an abortion. You know how nice that is, getting out of the fucking swamp heat. It's not a swamp, but I mean if they got lakes there, they're swamp like And you know, it's it's seasonal So that's the thing if you can time your abortions in red states When they get too hot and you can go to blue states for a seasonal abortion

It's not terrible. I know it's more convenient to get the abortion at the grocery store up the block. I get it. But if you can time your abortions for the height of the summer and you go, we're just go and you don't have to tell anyone you're going for an abort. You go, we're going on holiday. Say it the British way. It feels nicer. We're going on holiday and, you go, we're going on holiday. Say it the British way. It feels nicer. We're going on holiday. And then you go somewhere, and you go to the Hamptons to get an abortion in the Hamptons.

Get a Hamptons abortion. There's a clinic. You can get it. Don't be depressed all the time. People are always anxious and depressed because they think the government's going to take all their rights away. That's not, they're not wrong per se, but there's a work around usually to these things that they want to do. And a lot of them they don't get them

done anyway and then some of them they do and there's usually a work around. A seasonal summer abortion in the Northeast is a great way to get out of your red state heat. Nashville ain't that fun August 1st. It gets a lot more fun around Halloween, October. You know? Get an abortion in a blue state in the summer. Go up to Boston, have some fried clams, and suck the baby out.

In the summer, there's a worker, there's always a way to do it. And it's actually fun. It's fun to do it. Leave at night, take a night flight. You feel like you're... Justin Timberlake, sad. He's in the Hamptons. It's a place I know and love. He's drunk. He gets pulled over. His tour wasn't selling.

Can everyone leave him alone? Can we get the news vans out of Sag Harbor? People are trying to have. People work really, really hard. And they have a lot of money. And they don't care about this. And we need to get the press out of the Hamptons. This isn't, no offense, a low income area where people are excited to see the news. In low income areas, people like when the news comes in, because it's fun. It is. Low income areas, when the news van comes in, people get

excited. The kids start clapping and everything. We don't need that out there. Get the news out. Rich people don't really like when the press shows up. It's never for a good reason. A few tables away, Stuart Levine, the former chef executive of Dale Carnegie and Associates, split $45 crab cakes with his wife, Harriet Levine. You won't be getting your Pulitzer Prize for this, he said to a reporter. Great. Stu, get them. Go get them, Stu. This is why you need Jews. The Jews will chase them off. You need them. It's true.

It's true. The Wasps would just let it be overrun. The Wasps don't do confrontation. You know? They don't. That's why all the food in Waspy restaurants sucks because they just don't even want to look the waiter in the eye. The Wasps just want to be served. They want to drink things out of, you know, pewter, mason, They want to drink things out of, you know, pewter, mason, weird like George Washington type of cutlery and these weird pewter cups and all that stuff and mason jars and they just want to eat in like a barn environment and then leave and not have once made eye contact with the waiter. The Jews, which is why they are big time needed, like my mother who wasn't Jewish but was learned culturally from Jews how to complain.

Complaining is essential. It keeps things good. You have to complain. Italians do it to a degree. Jews kind of do it the best. And my mother learned from a lot of Jews how to complain and That's why the restaurants in Long Island are really good or they go out of business And that's why hopefully they get the press out of Sag Harbor and Justin Timberlake don't get in the car drunk

Don't get in the car drunk. You're rich if you are rich and you get a Dewey you are so fucking lazy get a driver Get a fucking driver, dude. After Justin Timberlake threw Janet Jackson under the bus, I never really had a ton of respect for him. I think he's haunted by that. I think he's haunted by that to a degree. You know? He looks like a haunted person there.

Get him out. Get the news vans out of my town. I don't live in Sag Harbor. I live in Southampton. But still, get him out. I don't want to deal with it. I will, I will, you will get in here. By the way, I wish I was there this week.

I'm not. I'm in LA. But I wish I was there because I would give them an interview. Oh, I go, I saw him, I was drinking with him. I was getting fucked up with him. Yeah, we were out drinking. I told him, I said, Justin, don't get in that car. And you know what he said to me? He goes, I don't respect the laws of this country he goes because there are no laws because you know how many people

cross illegally over the southern border every day I said no Justin I don't he goes thousands tens of thousands of people cross right into our country over the southern border every day we don't know who they are where they're coming from I go interesting I go so that's your rationale he goes yeah I'm just one guy driving drunk. We've got hordes of people coming, armies. I go interesting. They go alright cut, cut the interview. I go no but I but I was drinking with him. This is what he said. By the way talking about VIP VIP Mexican cartels offering VIP packages for migrants, I'm not against

VIP migrants coming in. I think we have to soften our approach if we're talking about people that have paid money. I do respect people that pay for the experience. And there's a lot of migrants right now that are paying for a better experience. The tunnel is dark and narrow toxic gases rise from the dank water. Insect scurry along the sides, rattlesnakes weight coiled rodents lurk along the water's edge like Jeremy Allen White. No, yet this drainage network that reaches from Ciudad Juarez into El Paso, Texas, is one of the most sought after routes for patrons of a VIP

migration package offered by Mexican cartels to those with the money to pay for it. The tunnel route costs at least $6,000, according to interviews with top Mexican state authorities, federal law enforcement officials from both sides of the border, and migrants waiting to cross in encampments along the Rio Grande. Ricardo, a migrant smuggler, said he has charged as much as $15,000.

Everything in this underground world functions by a code that cartels give their VIP customers, often delivered by cell phone that identifies which cartel travel agency a migrant is working with so everyone from local police to rival criminal syndicates knows not to harass them. Heightened U.S. security along the 2,000 mile border with Mexico and fewer legal pathways to come north have been an economic boon for Mexican criminal organizations. Instead of fixing a broken immigration system, the U.S. government is outsourcing migration policy to criminal groups, some experts say, increasing practices of corruption. The migrant, says Blanca Navarrete,

director of the Migrant Advocacy Nonprofit, is the one to pay the price for that lack of action. A joint investigation by Mexican and US authorities have discovered that one Juarez-based cartel has been smuggling at least a thousand migrants through tunnels into El Paso every month They're switching from drug trafficking to human trafficking human I feel better about the migrants who have come in

Through this kind of VIP process to be honest I do if you have enough money to pay for a luxury smuggling operation I feel slightly better overall about your chances to assimilate into America you're doing a very American thing, and I kind of like it. You're paying criminals to make your life easier. This is what I do every time I hire a realtor or a lawyer. So the idea that they've already kind of embraced this idea that you've got to pay to play, I don't hate that. I don't. 60% to 70% of the focus of these cartels now is migrant smuggling. A kilo of cocaine might bring in 1,500, but that risk is very high.

The cost benefit of trafficking a person is 10,000, 12,000, 15,000. So this is a booming business for the cartels. The cartels. The cartels are really figuring out. And you think about it, is it like the United Polaris or the Delta One or the JetBlue Mint? What are you getting? What are you getting?

What do you get? And we should have migrants on here if they would come on. And we'd even black out their faces to just compare the different smuggling experiences. What are the different cartels doing to compete with each other to win the business of migrants? Are there different tunnels? Do you think a cartel tries to get the rats and snakes out of one of the tunnels? And you think people when people talk to

each other they go that's tunnels and there's no snakes. That's why we use them. There's actually no snakes and no rodents. They get all the rodents and the snakes out of that tunnel. That's why it's nice. They give you a breakfast. Do you think anybody gets a breakfast once they get to El Paso? I don't understand, but I'm sure that there are different ways that these different VIP cartels are using, you know, the little bonus perks they give people, I'm wondering exactly what they are. And that would be, and we probably only know

if we spoke to actual migrants who I imagine don't speak English, but I feel better about it. I feel better about it. Can we make an immigration policy that we only allow cartel smuggled VIPs in? And is that okay? Or will people get up in arms about that? Because they've proven they got 12, 15 grand.

So right away I know you're not destitute. You got 12, 15. You got 12 or 15 grand and you're willing to pay for it so your family has a better experience. It's a Disney Fastpass. You don't wait on the lines. I'm all for it. It makes me feel better because the panic about immigration is you bring in a bunch of people and it's just, you know, they don't have the means to support themselves somebody coming in with 15 12 to 15 thou Giving it to the cartel the cartel do what they need to do to get him across safely You know that to me makes me feel

Better About this whole thing now. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but I do think that it does, it's the summer and you know what happens in the summer. People are in their cars, they're driving to the beach, to the party, to the Clambake and you know what happens? Some people in their other cars aren't paying attention. They're on their phone, they're texting, they're talking.

Well, it's all fun until someone gets beheaded, okay? And their head rolls out on the parkway, highway. And it's not fun then. It's no longer fun. Kathleen Rice, who was the DA of Long Island, and she was radicalized when she first came in because a limo going the wrong way, a drunk driver going the wrong way on the highway

hit this limo and then this kid was in the thing and she ended up being beheaded. It was horrible. The point is this, if someone is beheaded in front of you, call Morgan & Morgan because they are America's largest injury law firm. They have over a hundred offices nationwide and more than a thousand lawyers

with over $20 billion recovered from over 500,000 clients. Morgan & Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. It's so important right now to sue the people that owe you and get what is yours. That becomes the main thing. It's the summer where people are going to wile out. They're going to act a fool and you need to protect yourself if they do something that you know puts you in a bad situation. If you're ever injured, check out Morgan & Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win.

How cool is that? For more information, go to forthepeople.com slash Tim or dial pound law, pound 529 from your cell phone. That's forthepeople.com slash Tim or dial pound law, pound 529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. Mood's potent product lineup is a perfect companion for whatever you have planned this summer. Their hemp-based THC is a flower, the future of legal THC, tried along with all of Mood's

other amazing offerings like flower gummies, vapes, and more. And for limited time, Mood is giving our listeners free THC pre-roll and 20% off your first order. Just visit hellomood.com and use the code T-I-M. Hellomood.com, use the code T-I-M. Hellomood.com, use the code T-I-M. I tried all the mood products and I love them. And people like it. I like the packaging and how quickly it was delivered. I mean, you know, it's like that song, you're always in a mood. Remember that, that guy?

It was quick in and out. That's how it is in the music industry, huh? Quick in, quick out. Since THCA converts into THC when you heat it, you get access to the classic marijuana high and Mood has 10 high inducing strains, the most potent they've ever offered. Mood puts an end to guessing games

with federally legal forms of THC extracted from hemp plants. Take that, Biden. All of their products are regularly tested in third-party labs sourced from small farms and pesticide free. Tested and tailored by in-house experts. Different strains for specific moods from euphoric to energized, creative to chill, and plenty of versatile products that go away with whatever mood you're going for. However you like to take THC, mood as you cover it. Add more relaxation to your summer plans with mood. For limited time, get 20% off your first order and a free

THCA pre-roll. Just go to hellomood.com and use promo code T-I-M. That's hello M-O-O-D.com. Use code T-I-M for 20% off your order and a free THCA pre-roll. Get ready for the season with quality shades built to last. Our friends at Shady Rays have you covered with premium polarized shades that won't break the bank. Shady Rays is an independent sunglasses company offering a world-class product rated five stars by over 300,000 people. Their shades have durable frames and crystal clear optics,

making them the perfect choice for all your outdoor adventures. They have many styles of colors to pick from so finding your next pair of shades is a breeze. I've worn Shady Ray, I'm not wearing them right now, but I have worn them and I wear them you know I love them on the beach and on the boat and on the lake and on the float and I'm on a moat with a goat but I have Shady Rayays on all the time. I'm walking around, people stop me in the store,

they go, what do you got? I go, Shady Rays. If your shades go MIA or take a hit, don't sweat it, they've got lost and broken protection, so you're covered from day one. Wear your Shady Rays with confidence because they have your back long after you purchase. Free shipping and returns.

If you don't love your shades, exchange or return them for free within 30 days. There's no risk when you shop. Exclusively for our listeners, Shady Rays is giving out their best deal of the season. Head to ShadyRays.com, use code TIM D. For 20% off, pull a right sunglasses, try for yourself. The shades rated five stars by over 300,000 people. So the Atlantic, by the way, had this new thing, the Atlantic, the most American city is Phoenix, which probably true.

It's 113 degrees. I love the Atlantic. What will become of American civilizations? Like I was doing this five years ago. This is all like, we're all late to the game here. We're late to the game. The Atlantic magazine is now trying to sell everybody on the idea that Phoenix is, Phoenix is our fastest growing city. And it is a bad sign because most of Phoenix, not all of it, there are Paradise Valley, there are Scottsdale,

but I don't even know if that's Phoenix. Most of Phoenix is like that guy and that. So that's most of Phoenix right there. That's what you will find. If you go to Phoenix, you will see that man and you will see that Vista. Phoenix is kind of hot and there's not much there, not much going on. And this article is about how, you know, whatever, they use the word conspiracy theory,

but here, go up to that, I'll actually look at it. They use the word conspiracy theory so loosely, it can literally mean anything. But I love this, even touching the pavement is dangerous. A woman waiting in line outside a food pantry showed me a large patch of pink skin on her calf, the scar of a second degree burn from a fall she'd taken during high heat. So if you fall on the concrete in Phoenix, you can get a second degree burn from the pavement. And this is America's fastest growing city People want this they go. No, no, no, no, it's it's good. Just don't just don't touch the ground

It's a great city Don't touch the ground There's sort of this idea about the American deserts. There's a seductive quality to the American desert There's a seductive quality to the American desert. The sunsets are amazing. The vast open spaces, it's wild. There's something about it that calls you. But I'm here to tell you, from living in a lot of those communities, they are not what you think they will be.

Number one, the desert homeless is a different thing because they always look kind of caked with dirt. So they do have that Mad Max appearance that a lot of the other homeless don't. The desert homeless, they're caked in a layer of dirt. So, and that kind of colorful desert dirt. So they do look kind of, it's a dystopian kind of Mad Max appearance that a lot of those people have. People aren't ready for that. It is Star Wars a little bit. When they're all out in the desert

Get a picture of the sand people up. Get a picture of the sand people up. Get a picture of the sand people up from Star Wars. Get a nice big close up on that. This is kind of, yeah, that's kind of what homeless people in Phoenix look like. You have to be ready for this. I wasn't ready for this.

You have to be ready for this. I wasn't ready for this. You have to be ready for the elements in all of their manifestations. You think it's just going to be nice, but kind of the mark of an area now, when you go to an area, when you live in an area, basically, you're like, so people that aren't doing well here, how do they live? That's more interesting.

If you are going on tour of a home with a real estate agent, ask her immediately, where are the people that aren't doing so hot? Because they're going to tell you about how nice it is. Well, they just did a whole redevelopment. It's a whole, so it's like indoor outdoor dining, and it's a whole mall concept, and it's really good. There's the gym, and it's the whole mall concept and it's really good There's the gym and there's the whole fitness center actually and there's the wellness center and then you go yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah cut all that out

Where are the people who are not doing well? Where are they and how are they living? How are they living? You're gonna have to buy homes now and decide communities based on the character of the homeless people in the area. Are they aggressive? Are they amiable? Are they friendly? Do they have talents? They play any instruments? Truly, homeless is not going anywhere. It's a huge part of every urban experience in America. The character of homeless people, what are the tents on a few blocks? Are they pretty central? You know, in Austin, the heat makes them very aggressive.

The Austin, they're still Texans, the homeless in Austin. So they're very aggressive. They're very in your face. Whereas the California homeless, they're again, it's California, they're more laid back. They're more laid back. So you really have to ask the local realtor, what is the character of the homeless? And I will say this, the desert homeless look exactly like this and are terrifying. Not so much in how aggressive they are, but they're just, they're a sight to behold. You have to be ready for it. You have to be ready for it, and you might like it,

but the desert itself is not, is not where you wanna be all year round. All year round, and by the way, we've got, yeah, so I mean, you can take a look at that. That's, there you go. The reason people like it, and the reason that a lot of people are flocking to the desert is that it seems like untapped.

Like there's gonna be a lot of new stuff, they're gonna build a lot of stuff, but it is the surface of Mars. It's the surface of Mars. As it gets hotter, people are going to die all the time in front of you. They're going to die in front of you. And it's going, you know, it's going to be shocking and then inconvenient. You're gonna feel terrible about how much you don't care.

be shocking and then inconvenient, you're gonna feel terrible about how much you don't care. People are gonna die. It's like when people are junkies, OD and whole foods. It will get to a level of heat where people just start passing out. You're gonna have to spray their face with water. This is what's gonna happen. This is the way life's gonna work. Some lady's gonna pass out and you're gonna have to, someone's gonna have to pick her up because immediately after she passed out, she'd show up, the pavement's going to burn her legs. So she's going to pass out and then start screaming outside of a Phoenix grocery store. As soon as she hits the ground, her legs are going to be, the skin is going to be cinched off by the cooking pavement. So she's like falling on a griddle and she's gonna go, help, help me, help.

And it's just gonna be elderly people who've fallen on a pavement that is burning them and they're gonna be cooking, cooking, like little cheeseburgers, literally, little human cheeseburgers on the pavement that you're going to have to either help or step over on the way into the grocery store to get whatever you're getting, a cooler.

And there's just gonna be these old people, maybe young people, maybe junkies, maybe who we don't know, maybe people that just fell cooking. Ah! And you're going to have to lift them up, and then they're going to start spraying them in the face with that water fan. And they're going to give them cold fluids,

and they're going to spray them in the face with water. Does it sound fun? Does it sound appealing? Does it sound like fun? Those areas are great if around June you can skedaddle and come back in October. If you can skedaddle in June and come back in October, those areas are great. You'll love it. Or you won't. I never live in Phoenix, but people do and like it. I have friends that live in other parts of Arizona that love it.

It is very difficult to spend the entire year there if people are going to be falling down and then their skin is going to be burned off their body by the pavement. It's not good. I'm telling you, it's not going to be a great situation. I know you think, oh, it's going to be great. We're moving to the desert. The sunsets are beautiful. But that's not the reality. The reality is a person being cooked on the sidewalk in front of you, struggling to get up going, and you have to you and some other person that you don't even know you

ever coordinate helping some of people you don't even know it. You got to go, hey, help. You're lifting up this old person who's probably fat because of the food of the queso blanco. So then you lift this person up and now this person is going to collapse on you. This fat person that you've lifted up is going to collapse on you. Now you're on the ground and the pavement is burning your skin and you're yelling.

And you know, think. Think a little bit before you go in there. That's all. That's all I'm saying. I'm not saying it's not good I'm not saying it's not good your sex life is important, but your schedule is busy You don't have the time to go to a doctor's office to get treated for erectile dysfunction through him's now You can get treated for ED without stepping foot outside your door ever feel like you need a little boost in the bedroom with him You will feel confident knowing you can get hard and stay hard whenever you're in the mood

Sick of one- fits all method, especially when it comes to your erectile dysfunction treatment, well good news, now you've got options with HIMS. HIMS is changing men's healthcare by providing access to affordable sexual health treatments from the comfort of your couch. HIMS provides access to doctor trusted ED treatments such as chewable hard mints, brand name treatments

like Viagra, or genetic alternatives for up to 95% cheaper. The process is simple and 100% online. No uncomfortable doctors visits. Answer a series of questions on their site and a medical provider will determine the right treatment option. If prescribed, your medication ships ride to you for free.

No insurance is needed. If ED is getting you down, it's time to join the hundreds of thousands of trusted HIMS subscribers and get treated. Start your free online visit today at hims.com.tiam. That's H-I-M-S dot com slash tim for your personalized ED treatment options. HIMS dot com slash tim.

Hard mints are chewable compounded products which are not approved or verified for safety or effectiveness by the FDA. Prescriptions require online consultation with a healthcare provider who will determine if appropriate restrictions apply. See website for details and important safety information. Subscription required, price areas based on product

and subscription plan. Is your money working as hard as it could be for your future? A decade ago, Robinhood changed the investment landscape when they pioneered commission free stock trading. Today, they continue to offer innovative products to help users build a better financial future like IRAs, ETFs,

options for qualified traders and much more. Take control of your financial future with Robinhood. Download the app or visit robinhood.com to learn more. Investing involves risk. Other fees may apply. Robinhood Financial LLC member SIPC is a registered broker dealer. Joey Chestnut has got kicked out of the hot dog competition. He's out of 2024 Nathan's hot dog eating contest in beef over vegan Franks. I don't know what happened here, but a lot of people told me about this.

They were upset about this. Joey chestnut perennial winner of the annual nascent's fourth of July hot dog eating competitions out of this year's beef barf over deal. He made to represent a different wiener brand. Wow. The brand is Impossible Foods. The leading maker of meatless meats is known for its Impossible Burger, which

contains a laboratory-synthesized substance called heme. It recently launched a frankfurter imposter that's made from plants. The Nathan's contest at the corner of Stillwell and Surf Avenue is one block from the famous boardwalk has been a Coney Island tradition since 1916. The California born chestnut has won it 16 times every year since 2016. Joey Chestnut has won it.

He gobbled a world record 76 dogs and buns in 2021 and kept a title with a Paul Drew 62 down the hatch last year. So that's Joey Chestnut, the winner, the king of kings. A rep for Major League Eating, which Nathan sanctions to run the event, said the organizers bent over backwards to meet Chestnut's various other demands. But they said they drew the line on letting Chestnut pitch for a different hot dog brand. Well, you gotta go where the money is. You won it 16 times. There's nothing left, Joey.

It is interesting how people define themselves in the world. This guy is the greatest competitive eater alive, probably, right? Maybe even better than the Kobayashi guy, I don't know. But this guy has won the Nathan's hot dog eating contest 16 times, he is the legend. I don't know if anyone will ever get to his level, Joey Chestnut, I do not know that.

I can't imagine that, but someone somewhere might attempt it. And then this guy's picture goes on their wall and they go, I gotta beat this guy. This guy has set the record. 16 years of his life through all things, the Iraq War, whatever was going on, this guy shows up and he wins a hot dog eating contest. There's something to that. There's something to the consistency of somebody who,

no matter what is going on, shows up and does his job, shows up and does the work. There's something nice about that. And I think they should have said, fuck it. In the world that we're living in, we should have let Joey Chestnut, we should have let Joey Chestnut compete. We shouldn't have balked that he's just trying to make his money with an impossible,

because that's where everything's going anyway. You might hate it. Many people dislike it, but it's going to chemical sludge that isn't meat, but bleeds like meat. It's where it's going. It's going to that kind of chemical green sludge It isn't quite meat because that's how they're gonna have to feed the world. I guess so it's gonna be sludge They're gonna feed everybody will get sludge That's what's coming. Soylent green. It's coming

you're gonna want soylent green when you when you when you see what they've got planned, but. That's really what it is. What a great episode of that show, but yeah, just so Joey Chestnut people got mad at him because he's marketing this impossible vegan hot dog. Who cares? This guy's a champion. Let him work.

I'm against that. It's never the, you know, all the things Joey Chestnut could have done. He did none of them. We went through a period. Everybody's raping everybody. People are texting people underage. We got these people going off on Twitter threads screaming and yelling about every group of people. This guy didn't get out and heil Hitler. The guy came out and said, I'm taking money from the sludge company because they're spreading it around and I need it.

I need it. I want to, they're coming with some real money. Maybe this guy's got kids. He's got kids? Got a family? Does he have anything? He's probably got a family and he goes, well, what are my kids going to do? They don't, they don't have the magic. Yeah, he's got, uh, what does he got? A son named Merlin? I believe so, yeah. And a daughter named Alicia, maybe. I think it's his wife. Maybe he's doing this for the kids

Chestnut knows there's very little chance the kids are gonna follow in his footsteps He's doing this for his family So why would Nathan's not fucking Nathan should have matched him? What's his net worth? or four mil not bad Four million dollars He's a legend Joey chestnut is a fucking legend Do a new hot dog eating cut with all vegan hot dogs Start a new one Start a new hot dog eating con- with all vegan hot dogs. Start a new one. Start a new hot dog eating contest.

Take Nathan's out. I'm sick of them. They've had the monopoly on this for too long, Joey Chestnut. You go out there and you start a vegan hot dog eating contest. By the way, Vladimir Putin and the guy from North Korea, do you have this photo of them kind of having fun and goofing? Yeah, it's amazing. It's kind of amazing. They're enjoying themselves. Nobody, nobody shows these dictators having any fun, but it's got to be a little fun, right? Isn't that the point? We know there's a lot of pressure.

Are they in a Cullinan is that a Rolls Royce Cullinan yeah it's like a special a special one I'll play this video let's see what happens so I think Vlad is driving this car, and this is a fun car. It looks like a Rolls Royce Phantom. It's like a limo. And he's in the thing. North Korea is pretty.

It really is pretty. I've had enough of the demonizing of North Korea. I won't stand for that anymore. Look how nice these dogs are. Look how pretty and green it is in the summer. Oh it is. What a nice trip. Look at those horses. All we hear about is this country sucks, but look at these North Korean horses.

This looks nice. This is great by the way. This is perfect. They've got a new military alliance. How great are we doing, huh is perfect. They've got a new military alliance How great are we doing, huh? Pushing all these countries together Getting them all talking again getting them to set up formal alliances Great move good moves Just shrewd

Shrewd foreign policy all around getting all these countries to start hanging out again and talking and chatting and setting up formal military alliances and guaranteeing each other military aid and support. It's almost like this thing we have NATO by ramping this thing up. We've gotten the guys over there to start like doing their own thing. How cool is that? How fun is that? It's just cool because we want countries like China and Russia, North Korea and Iran to set up their own thing. That's why we couldn't have been quiet about our goddamn thing. We had to shove it down everyone's throat. And after you've shoved it down everyone's throat, apparently they go, you know what?

They're having so much fun with that NATO thing they've got. Go, why don't we get something going? We could have kept our thing quiet, used it here and there. No, but we keep going. We keep putting new countries into it. Come on, get over here. Get in here. And now we got Putin and jog my memory on this guy's

name. Kim Jong-un. Kim Jong-un. Correct. Have taken a joy ride in a Rolls Royce in a beautiful green North Korea that looks gorgeous and stunning. And we're all sitting here sitting on our hands. Oh, it's an Oris limousine, it's Russian built. Looks like a Rolls Royce, kind of a bootleg Rolls Royce, let's be honest. Putin and Kim took turns driving

in a Russian built Oris limousine. Pyongyang. I like it. It looks really nice there. I love landscaping. Like when it's done well. And they're talking and hanging out. Only good things. Only good things are coming. When I see these two guys driving around, back slapping, having fun, I think

to myself only good things are on their way. What bad could come of this? Thank you everyone for listening. We taped a fun special at the comedy store the other night and it will be out somewhere probably in the fall. And it was very exciting. We're not really on the road right now. We have one more date, which is Nashville 29th of June. And then it's the Ryman Auditorium a couple of days before the election. Is that the election November 2nd? Right. Well anyway November 2nd will be in Displanes Illinois at something the Convention Center casino. Let me okay so three days before the election will be just go back to that will be at the

event center at Rivers casino Displanes Illinoisains, Illinois, November 2nd, 2024, 7 p.m. So there's that. There's that folks. If you wanna get involved, timdillancomedy.com if you wanna buy tickets, Tim Dillon Show on YouTube and Patreon. And we will see you very soon and we thank you.