The Tim Dillon Show - 407 - The Mushroom Pilot & Jailed Billionaires

Episode Date: August 31, 2024

Tim examines Pavel Durov’s arrest, Trump’s assassin’s family, an autistic hockey team’s ice cream sale, a pilot’s experience with psychedelics and why Meghan Markle isn't a great boss. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://www.timdilloncomedy.com/ SPONSORS: Legacy Visit givelegacy.com and use promo code (TIM) for 10% off. Harry’s Razor’s Go To www.harrys.com/DILLON for a $3 Trial Set. Helix Sleep Go to HelixSleep.com/TimD for 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows with code: HELIXPARTNER20. Ship Station Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/timdillon Ibotta Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app to start earning cash back and use code TIM. Thats I B O T T A in the Google Play or App Store and use code TIM. ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'm in a hoodie. It's 91 degrees in Manhattan. I drove in from Long Island. I didn't realize now at the eastern tip of Long Island, it's cool at night and people have hoodies on and I figured that would be okay. But apparently I got in here and it's 91.

Pavel Durov, the CEO of Telegram, arrested in France, released, but not allowed to leave France. 39-year-old Russian billionaire detained over charges that his messaging app is used for criminal activity, including child abuse, images, amongst other things. I don't use Telegram. wait, am I on telegraph? Let me check.

Someone made me, I'm on Signal. Someone made me download Signal, because it was like, we're gonna talk on Signal. And then this person just sends me memes on Signal. Like there's no, I thought it was, I was gonna get like cool like inside info. Like I'm like there's no I thought it was I was gonna get like cool like inside info like I'm like yeah I'll download signal which by the way the NSA they can all read all of this but I was like fuck yeah I'll download signal you got some fucking cool shit and it's memes it's

memes or it's like we just talk about regular things. It's like someone is like, you know what restaurant I like? We're on signal. Send me something that's going to get us killed. Isn't that the point? Tell me something cool. Tell me you know that where Matthew, what's his name? David Crooks? Be like, I just saw him in a rehab.

He's still alive. Fox News just put out an article about Matthew David Crooks, the FBI now, is it Matthew David Crooks? Am I right? I thought it was Thomas David Crooks. It's Thomas David Crooks, whoever Matthew David Crooks, I apologize to you. But I know as much about Matthew as I do about Thomas.

I know more about the woman who shot Selena than I do about who shot the president, ex-president of the United States. We know nothing about this guy. He had no digital footprint, but Fox News has run an article now. They're revealing the first photos of his firearm and the IEDs he had in his car trunk, and that he flew a drone over the site of the speech a few hours before it started. But again, he has no digital footprint.

They haven't told us about his Reddit activity, whether he was on Discord, whether the guy had, you know, he didn't have any social media, but supposedly he had no digital footprint. However, he just Googled things all day. They have all these, you know, he didn't have any social media, but supposedly he had no digital footprint. However, he just Googled things all day. They have all these, I mean, he was online. This is what's funny, right? So there's no social media, but he just Googled.

Every day he would Google like, how far was Oswald from Kennedy? Who should I shoot today? Should I shoot Trump or Biden today? You know, it was one of those things where you go Apparently somebody's facetiming me I'm doing the podcast. I gotta go. It was Pavel Durov How crazy is that?

How crazy is that as Pavel Durov? But no all of these Google searches that this kid, he's just, by the way, find them, go down in the article here, they'll tell you what he searched. He's like, he was obsessed with searching. He had been hyper-focused on Trump's rally in Butler, PA, but he was also searching, you know, he searched the former president's campaign

schedule and upcoming appearances in Pennsylvania and he was searching for 60 searches related to Trump and Biden including events scheduled to take place in Western PA. So he had no social media but he was just online searching. He also noted specific searches conducted on July 5th to include when is the DNC convention and when is the RNC in 2024. So supposedly this guy didn't care who he shot. And on July 10th, he searched weather and Butler because he wanted to I guess know How the wind would affect the trajectory of the bullet, but he had no other online footprint and he just apparently Started searching these things

Relatively recently Kind of before the shooting he was searching all of these search terms these key terms It's almost like and again. We're just having fun. We're just having fun They almost seem like sir and again. We are it's a for entertainment purposes only don't put me in jail It's not fair Um it almost seems like these searches you would if you were trying to create again fun a

profile of someone who did this And they're like, what did they search for? It's like how to kill the president How far was Oswald from Kennedy they seem and I'm not saying he didn't search these, I'm saying it's just very interesting. Butler PA rally, weather in Butler. How do I shoot Trump at Butler rally? How do I act alone and commit an assassination? That's coming. They're going to start releasing those soon.

How do I act alone? How do I commit pull off? assassination with zero accomplices I Wish I knew someone in FBI, but I don't search that search for someone I Don't know but now we're getting dribbled out this information about what's the name Thomas Matthew Crooks and what I call Matthew David Crooks What's that called the when you have two versions of something? It's like the No, the Berenstein Bears and the Berenstein Mandela effect. It's a little Mandela effect for the end of summer

You stop someone will use that video in for a few years. years and be like, it's the Mandela effect. It was actually Matthew David Crooks. You go, no, Tim Dillon's an idiot. It had nothing to do with that. We don't know much about his parents. They're overweight. We saw them walking out of a Costco. Get that up, Matthew. Fuck Thomas. Whatever his name is. Thomas David Crooks' parents walking out of Costco. They had a full wagon and they were coming out of Costco. It is funny when a few weeks after your son tries to kill the president, you are in Costco like you don't get a friend to do it you yourself Go to Costco You're just walking around Costco

Like you've done every week or every couple of weeks or month looking by at them it looks like every week and You're walking around Costco and your son just tried to kill the president And you don't you don't say to a friend like, hey, by the way, could you get something for me at Costco? I kind of don't want to leave the house. Let's let's see these people walking out with a full wagon from Costco. He made the brief remarks walking to his car with groceries his first appearance in public since he attacked his son 20 year old Thomas Matthew Crooks was killed by a sniper secret

service bullet after opening fire at that Trump rally. He hit the former president in the year. It's a full wagon they got. I mean that's a full wagon. They got some Gatorade. I don't see what else they got. If I could guess can I guess? Orange crush. There's orange crush down here. Yeah I see that. A little I'm guessing some microwavable pancakes. The little silver dollar ones. I'm guessing some. You don't want to cook after your son's done this, right? Like that's you're not smashing garlic on there. This is a you know what I mean? Like this is this is a processed food

Run you're heating stuff up There's no way you're chopping an onion after your son has just tried to shoot the president in the head I would imagine you are heating things up. Some mini taquitos and the like, this would be my guess. You go home, you're not concerned about sodium intake at that point, right? Your only kid tries to shoot the president. It's not like you're like, let's get healthy. What's the sodium in this broccoli cheddar soup? I don't think that's the move, but I don't know.

Now is that his wife? Who's that? What fed FBI agent is taking him to Costco? Was that the deal they made? They go, we'll take you to Costco? Who is that? I think it's an undescript, non-determined family member.

Oh! Do we know if this kid had brothers or sisters? He might have been an only child. No one knows anything. It's just odd to me that no one's really, there's nothing. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. It's already gone. I'm just interested. It's a human interest story.

At the very least, can you give me that? It's a human interest. I mean, you'll always remember this summer if you're that father. 2024, the summer of 2024. You're always going to remember that. That's the summer my son tried to kill the president and then we went to Costco. We rolled into Costco. Matthew Crooks, a 52 year old dad recently hired a pair of powerhouse attorneys to represent him and his wife.

So it's just him only child. An anonymous loved one, go up. An anonymous loved one of the elder Crooks told the mail that the FBI still very much has questions about how much he knew about his son's plan to assassinate the former president. Interesting. Well, the Thomas Matthew Crooks, his body has been cremated, I believe. They didn't do any toxicology. I believe he is gone.

Well, we'll just keep you updated on that non-story. I don't know. It's interesting. That's a full wagon. That's a full wagon after your son tried to whack the president. That's all. I get it. Couple of Jimmy Dean. Well they they don't sell, I mean Costco's just got, is it all Kirkland brand or can you get a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich there? Can you get a Jimmy Dean sandwich and eat it? Depending on the season, yeah. You get a Jimmy Dean sandwich in there, a nice Jimmy Dean maple sausage, egg and cheese.

Are you scrambling eggs after your son tried to kill the president? Trying to get him nice and fluffy? I'm not curious. If I had one kid and he tried to kill the president and then just get shot in the head by the Secret Service, I don't know if I could like whisk the egg. This guy seems kind of fine.

I don't know if I'd be at Costco. I don't know if I'd be whisking the egg. Why can't whoever this person is just do it for him? I don't know. I'm asking where are family values? That's where. where are family values? That's where Pavel Duraev, the leader of the Telegram app, they jailed him and now Mark Zuckerberg

from whatever bomb shelter compound he's built is speaking out going, we are sorry we censored the Biden laptop story. We are sorry we censored the Biden laptop story. We are sorry. We, um, censored COVID, uh, information. We are sorry. We kicked everybody off. I am sorry for what I have done. Zuckerberg and a lot of tech people seem to be kind of trying to cozy up to the right. They need nuclear power. They need, they do, they need nuclear energy to run all these data farms. Data is more important than oil. I was talking to a friend about this. Everybody wants to get in good. They also want, you know, they don't want the government going after them for

monopolies and da da da da da. But the nuclear power data center is a big deal. They want the green light from the government so that they, because all the only thing that's valuable now is whatever you've typed into Google and everything you do on your phone and everything about you, your data is now stored in some facility in North Carolina. And it's all, it's very hot, generates a lot of heat. Look at how much energy it takes to mine Bitcoin. We think of tech people as like green energy types. We don't we do that for no reason really other I mean sure they're not drilling per se but their products use as much energy They're gonna use a lot more energy too as things get bigger and bigger and they store more and more information So Mark Zuckerberg's out there apologizing and going hey, I'm siding mean to

if you remember Biden's son had that laptop. He had all these photos and videos of everything he'd ever done. Guns to the hooker's head, amateur porn, whatever. It's all on the laptop. He brings it to someplace to get it fixed. Again, at that point, the Vice President's son brings it to somewhere.

It gets fixed. And then it gets leaked. His laptop ends up, they end up leaking the contents of the laptop. Then, under pressure from the Biden administration and the CIA, which the intelligence agencies all signed something saying that the laptop story was Russian disinformation and should not be reported. So what did big tech companies do? Well, they don't wanna share Russian disinformation.

They censored the Hunter Biden laptop story. And Mark Zuckerberg is out. And he said that the Biden administration pressured me to censor this story among other things. In an explosive letter to the House Judiciary Committee, Rep Jim Jordan, who's a Republican out of Ohio, Zuckerberg wrote that quote,

senior Biden administration officials, including the White House repeatedly pressured Metta to censor content related to the coronavirus pandemic in 2021. And that was, you know, the dry run, they want total and absolute control. It was an overreach. I think Zuckerberg now is realizing now, of course, he's doing that You know, he has his own motives for doing that. It's just not a moral thing He has his own agenda. But now he is basically saying hey, we went too far We all knew that they went too far people lost their livelihoods their ability to communicate and by the way

They arrest Pavel Durav for what's going on on Telegram remember the fucking maids on Facebook that were getting sold they were selling Filipino maids on like Facebook marketplace and I think Zuckerberg's like bro I don't want to go to fucking jail they're holding this guy accountable for what's going on on Telegram. We were selling maids Facebook we did this on the show. I mean like Facebook would literally had Filipino maids on

Facebook marketplace and you could do whatever you wanted with them and that was on Facebook So why is Zuckerberg not at fault for that? So why is Zuckerberg not at fault for that? Why is Zuckerberg not at fault for Filipino maids being sold on Facebook Marketplace back and forth to people? I'm telling you it was not good. So Zuckerberg's out there trying to get ahead of this. People are doing all kinds of shit on Facebook. Facebook is a problem.

And Zuckerberg, and they arrest this guy, Pavel Durev, because they're trying to get ahead of, they're trying to intimidate these people that own these companies that allow people to communicate. And let's watch a little bit of this. Pavel Durev, who has been released after several days of questioning, communicate. And let's watch a little bit of this. These are the conditions for his release. He's been put under judicial supervision with the condition of paying a deposit of five million euros and a ban from leaving. Zuckerberg allows my Anton put him in jail.

He allows my Anton to do anything she wants, put him in jail. Why is he not in jail, by the way? He lets people go out and do whatever they want. OK, he's got maids from the Philippines on Facebook Marketplace. I think they've stopped that now. But why is that guy? Why is he not in jail? So that's why Zuckerberg's coming out and going, hey, we're sorry, we didn't mean the censor, we didn't we don't know what we're doing.

We don't know what's going on. Because he's basically going, hey, if Trump gets in, I wanna come clean and let everybody know that I was part of a concerted effort amongst Big Tech and the government to censor a story that may have helped Trump win. I was part of this You know, this wasn't when people talk about elections They're not only talking about like machines being hacked or talking about like the people that control these

You know Platforms that you know deliver information of people that are skewing things one way or another. It's since been made clear that the reporting was not Russian disinformation and in retrospect we shouldn't have demoted the story he acknowledged. Want a maid? He said. We've got good maids. You can buy a maid on Facebook Marketplace. Do whatever you want to them. They come from the Philippines. Well that's not good is it? That's his quote in the post. He goes, do you want a man? I got, we got maids for days. That's what Zuck is saying. Zucks is like, we've got maids for days. They're from the Philippines. You can hit them. That's, that's what he's saying. I'm not saying

this. Mark Zuckerberg is advertising Filipino maids on Facebook marketplace and saying, one way to ensure that your maid performs at the standard you want is if she fails to complete a task, you can throw things at her, you can push her down the stairs, you can hit her. You know, I mean, so that's not good. The 38 weirdest things ever sold on Facebook marketplace like people are actually terrified. What do we got? Creepy foot stools. Look at that. Jail. Look at this. Look at this. High highly cursed crying minion patio heater, jail for Zuckerberg. Spooky pies, I do like those. By the way, speaking of the government, go to this story, there was a kid in Massachusetts, I think, yeah, selling ice

cream to help his autistic brother's hockey team. Okay? Town officials shut down a boy's ice cream stand, fundraisers and death threats followed. This kid, he's trying to sell ice cream because his brother plays hockey and they need money. So he sets up this thing, he sets up a stand, he's serving vanilla shaved chocolate and fluffernutter.

The flavor choice could have been better, but that's neither here nor there. So Danny's family go up. Danny's family received a letter from the Norwood Board of Health ordering it shut down. Town officials had received a complaint and said that the 12 yearyear-old Scheme, Scheme, he's trying to help his brother, by the way.

You know what I mean? The 12-year-old Scheme violated the Massachusetts food code as state regulation. Because he's selling ice cream. I was surprised and upset. He said of the letter that came August 5th, I don't understand because there are so many lemonade stands and they don't get shut down. Good point.

Danny's mom, Nancy Doherty, had to encourage her son to start the stand as long as he donated half of the proceeds to charity also was taken back. Somebody complained. That was the most disappointing part for us was that somebody thought it was necessary to complain about a child stand. So the government shut this down and now people are threatening to kill them. And I think it's good. I think it's good. Apparently people are afraid to let go to their... The government that shut this kid's ice cream stand down is apparently afraid to go to their... The government that shut this kid's ice cream stand down is apparently afraid to go to their homes because people are threatening to come to their homes and kill them.

And listen, I'm against violence, of course. I've always said that. I've been very consistent about that. I'm not against threatening violence. And I'm not against threatening people that shut down places to get ice cream Danny was trying to do a good go back Danny was trying to do a good thing for his brother's team And it's not just a regular hockey team They need a lot more equipment right because I think it's like an autistic team No, but I think it is I think okay. I think it I'm not trying to do a bit I think this is an autistic hockey team, and it's all they need a lot of stuff I believe that's to be the case. This is

This is a hockey team. I think where when you drop the puck it's every you know what I mean? It's like it's a whole thing the whole team's not oh, yeah, it is. Okay. Yeah a whole team This is the team features people players with physical and developmental disabilities this is a Team that needs extra and it needs a little more So this kid goes and set up he goes and sets up an ice cream stand and then they shut it down He's trying to give the to help his fucking brother in the team out It's not easy, you know to help his fucking brother in the team out.

It's not easy, you know? Now people are threatening the government officials. Keep going. We had to deal with staff who were upset that they were being threatened. People had gone online and found their addresses for simply sending a letter after having reached out to somebody. And I said, look, there's a violation here.

It's the first time in recent memory that the town has shut down an ice cream stand. He said, adding that Massachusetts will allows for things like lemonade stand and bake sales, but not homemade ice cream. Why? Why? Now this is RFK should get involved in this. Where is RFK in this? And I'll tell you why. They want people to buy from the approved ice cream

retailers that are chock full of poison. And RFK should get out and defend this child's independent ice cream stand because number one, this is homemade ice cream, okay? It does not have thickeners. It does not have stabilizers It does not does not have things like war gum, you know and things like that that they make ice cream creamy and all this crap This is homemade ice cream and this literally RFK should literally Adopt this as a good issue You know and just say like, it was serving ice cream in the

art and they shut it down because they wanted to give the business to the big ice cream people who are poisoning everybody. That's why many of the children now have breasts. Which is true. Which is true, I don't know what to say about that, but I think that he should have his ice cream stand right here. By the way, if he wants to sell ice cream, do it in the Hamptons. Do it in the Hamptons. Do it in the Hamptons, sell some high priced home made ice cream in the Hamptons. Do it in the Hamptons. Sell some high priced home and ash coming to Hamptons.

They'll rat too, but you'll make more money before you eventually get ratted out. You'll get ratted out. Lot of rats. My parents, we never had a lemonade stand. We never did anything. I was on this street called Meadow Lane the other day It's like they it's all these billionaires live on it

I was driving down it and then one of the billionaires kids were out there selling lemonade There were young kids and I bet what happened was the little billionaire kids said hey, I Want something I don't know what kids want these days a skin skin on Fortnite, right? Isn't that it? Whatever. They go, we want this. And then the parents go, yeah, but you know what? You got to start earning some money. You don't know, you don't understand anything about it. And there are these little kids and they were selling, I think, lemonade and homemade Rice Krispie treats. And that's a way that you, my parents never taught me about money

earning money They never they didn't start when I was young. They didn't They missed the teen years. They didn't seem to they didn't seem to get into it at any point But I'm just saying that there are people who choose to teach their kids about money when they are young and The lemonade stand is like this Americana way. Go, you go out there and you earn some goddamn money. You save your own money. We never had... I got confirmed.

When Jewish people have a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah, usually they get a lot more money than people that are confirmed. No, yes, always. What am I saying? Now, because a friend of mine got 80,000 for his bummit, some people get enough money for their bummets for to buy a house. But I was confirmed, it was a confirmation. I got $1,000 altogether.

And you know what my parents did? They stole it. They stole the money from me. And I don't know what they did But they stole it. They probably paid the light bill, but they stole my cut they didn't tell me we're gonna you're gonna learn how to manage your money and You're gonna learn what you can spend your money on and how to invest your they did they stole it immediately They took the envelope from me and said a happy confirmation. They stole the money and then they paid their bills So here's a young kid who's trying to help his brother's disabled hockey team and

Somebody rats him out some sick fuck in the neighborhood Rats this kid out and goes can you imagine making that call? There's a kid selling ice cream from his fucking lawn. Yeah? Yeah. He doesn't have a permit, that's not legal, is it? I guess not. I guess not.

Well, go kill him. Go get him. I mean, it's crazy. There were no lemonade stands. Every now and then, we would see one in my neighborhood. But I never had one. I didn't like lemonade. My parents were never like, earn your own money.

They never said to me, they're like, you should earn your own money. They tried, their way of having me earn my own money was saying be an actor and Get booked in a movie Which you know to their credit would have been a lot more money. I was unable to do it It would have been a lot better than a lemonade stand financially. It's I mean if you look at Amanda Bynes The long term is probably not ideal But that was their uh That was their idea

But that was their idea. By the way, every documentary now on Netflix, every single one, from the NSYNC doc to the Nickelodeon doc, every documentary now is like, you know, I know that there still need to be child actors because obviously there are children in stories that people write. Of course, we get it. But what parent now? Like at least in the 90s, my parents had like the benefit of not knowing how much everyone got raped. But now, I mean now, to be enthusiastically putting your kid in But maybe the kids are more confident now, maybe the kids are like I'm a bad bitch

You're not gonna rape me I'm trans motherfuck like maybe the kids are like really owning it and fucking I Don't know but if you're a parent now and you're putting your child into like acting it's Gotta give you some pause. It's gotta be a little scary after all the every documentary on Netflix right now is like Remember the show elf you're like, yeah, I remember that and they're like, well he raped everybody you go oh god oh boy remember that show he raped like every single one an open secret which is not on Netflix but Leaving Neverland quiet on set the NSYNC doc the Corey Haim

thing I mean it's all to and by the way when I was nine I was hot and my parents didn't tell me to pop my pussy That's how Inept they were They couldn't they weren't even whoring me out Do you have me as a young are you googling me as a young child? Yeah, we'll see how hot you are look look Right. What are you nuts? Yeah, look at see how hot you are. Look, look! Right? What, are you nuts? Look at me! Hello!

I'd own a beach house! I would own a beach house right now if these directors had ran through. Now of course it'd be not great. I'd have green hair and I'd be voting for Kamala. That was funny. But other than that, it would be, you know, money wise. But can you imagine now the parents that are putting their kids in acting now? Yeah, there we go. Can you imagine the parents now that are like,

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or some new products that I'm not super familiar with. This product, I'm telling you, I use more than any other product. It's the Midnight Deluxe Matt, even you, the producer. What do you think about the mattress? I think it's great. Thank you what I Tell people all the time is that you know, and I'm gonna tell a story now. I'll tell a story My friend's father

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The best offer you're gonna get. By the way, what are we giving them? 25% off all mattress orders and two free pillows. By the way, that's crazy. I don't even agree with that. I'm a business person. I really don't. But I understand what they're doing. They're charitable. Helix is giving 25% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com. If I get a little condo in Miami, and daddy might, I would get a Helix mattresses to go down there.

Daddy might need to go down to South Beach and start wearing sandals. That might be the next phase of my life. Just kind of fully identify as an Afro-Latino. Helixsleep.com slash Tim D. An Alaska Airlines pilot who almost crashed a plane on mushrooms speaks out. I called this by the way and I'm telling you, pilots are increasingly unstable. They are going to start trying to kill planes full of people.

I'm telling you this because I want to warn you, I call it all. I said Lizzo was gonna get thin. She's getting thin now. I've been right about that, because the fat's turned on her. And when the fatty boombatties turn on you, and she made a lot of money off the fatty boombatties,

but she goes fuck it. Now she's getting thin. She's in the gym, she's doing the right boom baddies, but she goes fuck it now. She's getting thin. She's in the gym She's doing the right thing so Because she goes fuck it. She goes fuck it. I'm I've made enough money off these fatty boom baddies. They keep turning on me Fuck these bitches In the same way that I call that I'm going to call this there are going to be more stories of Pilots who are going to try more stories of pilots who are going to

try to kill and I don't want to disturb anyone they're gonna try to kill planes full of people I'm telling you I'm telling you it's going to happen because they want to make some cut if we are to believe which I don't I don't if we are to believe that Matthew fuck Thomas Thomas David Crooks I don't, I don't, if we are to believe that Matthew, fuck Thomas Thomas David Crooks. I don't even know now. I don't even know. If we're to believe that this guy wanted to kill the president for no other reason than

to leave some type of legacy, and that is a thing that is motivating mentally ill people, why would you not, as a pilot, with a plane of people, try to do something similar? If you were in a weird mental state, I want to be remembered for something, he says, just anything. Let's watch this pilot, and he was accused of trying to crash the plane. I did something unfathomable to me something I have to take responsibility for. I regret.

This morning, Joseph Emerson the Alaska Airlines pilot now facing 84 charges after allegedly trying to take down a passenger jet in October speaking on camera for the first time as he awaits trial. Sarah and I would like our story to be of some value, right? We think it tells the larger story on pilot health. It was last October when Emerson was catching a ride in the cockpit jump seat on a flight from Everett, Washington to San Francisco, when he says nothing felt real.

There was a feeling of being trapped, like am I trapped in this airplane? Smile, smile. This is not real. Go back a feeling of being trapped. Like am I trapped in this airplane? This is not real. Go back, go back. By the way, by the way, this is a pilot. This is how sick a lot of them are. Not all of them. Look how sick this guy is. I want you to watch the smile here on his face when he talks about his attempt to down a jetliner full of people. Feeling of being trapped. Like am I trapped in this airplane? This is not real.

I mean, stop it. He's the Joker. Is the Joker, this is who's in the air is the Joker. This is who's in the, and the wife is so horrified. She sleeps next to this guy. The wife is so horrified because she sleeps next to him keep going to wake up Emerson says he had taken psychedelic mushrooms for the first time two days before the flight thinking they might help with depression but believes he was still hallucinating during that flight

he stood up and pulled handles in the car the way by the way I've done mushrooms I've done LSD I've done LSD, I've done mescaline. I've never thought, one of the realizations I had was not that I should down a jetliner full of people. Now I'm not saying that that can't happen. There are bad trips, people have all kinds of wacky reactions. I'm not advocating, but it is just funny. He's like, yeah, I took some mushrooms and you know, I just decided that it was time

to kill everyone. I meant to shut off the engines in the case of a fire it didn't work and if it had that could have brought the plane down. 2 red handles in front of my face thinking that I was going to wake up thinking this is my way to get out of this none real reality I reached up and I grabbed and I pulled the levers.

Did you know what the levers were at the time? What I thought is this is going to wake me up. I know what those levers do in a real airplane, right? And I need to wake up from this. It's 30 seconds of my life. I wish it could change and I can't. Sort of the pilots react to the difficult situation that I just handed. And I said, you guys want me off the flight deck?

I'm off the flight deck. He left the cockpit. That's hilarious. By the way, if you guys want me off the flight deck, like, hey guys, I know I tried to shut off the engines. And I'm just saying this, I'm a good sport. If you want me to leave, I'll leave. I get it.

I did just try to shut the engines off. If you want me out of here, I'll go. I'll get it. I'm not a nut. Listen to one of the pilots. We've got the guy that tried to shut the engines down out of the cockpit. Emerson says he then tried to grab the handle of an emergency exit door, but a flight attendant stopped by the way and by the way I'm telling you right now. I've said it years ago you can go find an old clip of me saying the only way Biden's gonna get out is if he comes out in a debate and You know And and and is like incoherent. That's the only way they're gonna force him out. Otherwise, he's gonna keep going.

You could find that old clip from years ago. But years ago I said, and I said the thing that's going to get the hairiest is air travel. The people that I noticed that are the most unstable are people that are working in air travel. I'm telling you, I am all over the place all the time looking at people and I've never walked into a fruit farm stand and looked at someone who I felt was going through it

the way that I felt like someone on an airplane was going through. I don't know what it is, I don't know if it's altitude, I fly a lot, am I the most sane? Probably not, but I'm not on at the controls. These people are completely gone. Many of them. Look at them. Just take a close-up of this, of these people here. I'm telling you right now, all of the people that work in the airline, and I know this because I speak to them, the minute they land they just do drugs for 48 hours. They go to a fl land, they just do drugs for 48 hours. They go to a flop house and they do drugs for 48 hours. Because the job is so terrible, it's so terrible.

I want a ginger ale, you know? She's in my seat. You're mediating fights. The people are punching you in the face. mediating fights, the people are punching you in the face. As soon as they land, they immediately go to a dope den and get fucked up. I'm telling you for 48 hours, they have the shakes when they get back into the plane a lot and I'm including the pilots. I'm including the pilots.

Commercial aviation is getting incredibly dangerous. I don't care how many times they want to disguise it with a funny Southwest flight attendant that gets up there like, Hey y'all, I'm doing a little stand-up comedy for you. I'm telling you right now, at least every flight you're on there's at least one person who should not be on that flight and it's usually a member of the crew It's usually a member of the crew. I I I'm telling you watch out I look at every cockpit now Every cock I try to look at the pilot and make a split-second decision if I'm gonna get off the plane I don't I'm not kidding. I'm trying to make a split. I look at it and go, all right.

I'm telling you, let's finish up with this guy, but I'm telling you right now, you need to care for yourself and your family, and you need to start looking at these pilots and observing them before they get on the plane. They're trying to kill you. I'm not kidding, it's not a bit. It's not a bit, you have to observe them if you can before they get on the plane. They're trying to kill you. I'm not kidding. It's not a bet. It's not a bit. You have to observe them if you can before they get on the plane. Get to the airport early, get to the airport early and try to observe the pilots.

Are they drunk? Do they seem like they're going through something? Put my hand on the lever. I didn't operate the lever. She put my hand, her hand on mine. And I think around that period is when I said. I don't understand what's real. I need you to tough cuff me. In the air he texted his wife. You text me I made a big mistake and what were you thinking at that point. I was like what the hell is he

talking about and I immediately got on flight aware because that's how I can track him and I saw that the plane was diverted and I think I text him back, is this because of you? Emerson says he'd been struggling with some form of depression ever since his best friend, Scott, suddenly passed away, but didn't turn to a psychiatrist for medication, worrying a formal diagnosis could end his career. He instead turned to alcohol and eventually

those psychedelic mushrooms in October. Coming into this I hadn't really been sleeping a lot tonight that I took the magic mushrooms and I did not sleep that night. And so this came in of sleep deficit. I believe may have also impacted just my perception of what was going on. Emerson now speaking about it all in the new documentary the New York Times presents lie to fly on FX as he and his wife

focus on increasing awareness about mental health in the cockpit. Wait a minute hold on hold on. Hold on a minute. Hold hold the phone for one minute right now. This guy shuts the engines off mid-flight and now this is his brand. This guy, I mean what? This guy should like be barred from going near a plane for the rest of his life. This guy who tried to kill everyone mid-flight, him and his wife are now using this as their brand?

They're going out and going, my husband tried to kill a bunch of people in mid-air. No one knows better about mental health than him. Pilot accused of trying to crash planes speaks out, the guy was trying to kill people and now he's become the spokesman for mental health quite skies keep keep Quiet skies, I want to hear a little bit more about this is insane Right now there's a perception out there that if you raise your hand and say something's not right

There's a very real possibility that you don't fly again At least one doctor saying at an NTSB summit in December, it's time to modernize the mental health regulations for pilots. Who would you rather fly with, a pilot who's depressed or a pilot who's depressed on medication? And that's what it comes down to. I think if pilots and controllers... I mean it's like, who would you rather fly with, a schizophrenic or a schizophrenic who's had a good breakfast? Who would you? What who would you rather fly with a

Guy with multiple personality disorder or a guy that's well rested and has multiple personality disorder. Would you rather fly? I would rather fly with someone who's not depressed and has passed an eval an Evaluation mental health. Sorry Sorry, don't want to be cruel. There's a lot of things depressed people could do like comedy for instance Get on stage and tell a couple of funnies. I don't want you in the cockpit of a fucking plane I don't think the good idea here what we've learned from this is not to get more depressed people in the cockpit of a plane, please Who would you rather fly with a schizophrenic who's lying about it or someone who's honest and says I'm fucked up Can you imagine that? What is this?

No one wants to do this job. They're so desperate I guess for pilots that they're like so what? He's depressed but he's medicated. You know I'm all for people taking medication for depression and other ailments but I do believe to be honest with you there are certain jobs where the psych evaluation should be more rigorous. I apologize. It was that to play the German wings as they go and play the screams as they go into the mountain, please. With the answer, play the screams as they go into the mountain on German wings. They're trying to knock.

They're trying to break down the cockpit door. They're trying to break down the cockpit door. They're trying to break down the cockpit door and the pilot who has mental issues. Here we go. Play it, play it. Captain screaming, for God's sake, open the door. Passengers are also heard screaming. Five minutes before impact, more bangs can be heard,

metallic noises as if someone was trying to knock the door down. 90 seconds later another alarm goes off warning terrain pull up. The captain again screams open the damn door. Two minutes before impact the paper reports Lubitz can be heard breathing the plane now only 13,000 feet from the ground. 10.40 a.m., investigators believe they hear the plane's right wing scrape a mountaintop, then screams once more from the 149 on board. Lubitz apparently stays silent. Well, there you have it.

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that's I BOTTA in the Google Play Store or App Store, and use code T I M American Markle, but you should change your name to that American Markle. Megan Markle our friend friend of the show Friend of the show Megan Markle, by the way, they're going back to Britain I don't know if you know that but they're going back to the racist hellscape they left where the press is trying to kill them all the time they're going back and They're going back and their like their conditions for going back are that they don't have to live with Harry's relatives

They're given a brand new house and they get palace security at that brand new house But if you remember the fraudulent claim that Markle and her husband made Prince Harry Was that the press would not allow them to live and was creating dangerous situations for them and their children. Which is of course a complete lie. However, what happens with Markle, she comes to America with her husband, they do this dumb thing on Spotify, they lose a lot of money, they have this thing with Netflix, nobody watches, they realize they're not going to be received as heroes in this country. They were for like a few weeks, they did a couple of interviews, but now they're just LA scum like everybody else. They're trying to get into parties, she's

sending texts everywhere, trying to have meetings with C-list celebrities. She launches a jam company that loses 18 staffers. American Orchard Riviera, they sent out 50 jars of jam, but 20 people have quit, okay, and it's struggling to find a CEO. Meghan Markle's jam company is struggling to find a CEO. May I suggest the pilot who tried to kill everyone on that flight? Can I suggest him?

Can you imagine being the CEO of the Duchess of Sussex's fake jam company? I'm the CEO of the actress from Suits and the Duchess of Sussex, whatever she calls herself, the jam, her fake jam company that she opened up in America, that's what I that's what I do. I do the... Markle teased the brand in March. She said, look it's coming. She set up an Instagram for it. However, nothing is nothing is going on, of course. And now they are going back to the UK. They're going back to the UK where everyone was trying to kill them.

This is a good lesson for people, I think, and she has actually proven incredibly valuable because this has now taught everybody a big lesson about, she is the symbol of the era. Meghan Markle is a symbol of that era. That was a very specific time in American history and world history. Meghan Markle is a symbol of that era. That was a very specific time in American history and world history where Meghan Markle became the first slightly kind of maybe a little bit black queen, the princess of England and suffered greatly for that because apparently

the British royal family is slightly racist. Who knew? You know, history books. But she was taken off guard by that and apparently the press have quite an interest in the lives of royals. And she didn't know that either. She didn't know that she'd be expected to share pictures of her children, the princes, you know. And she then left in a huff and went to the United States of America to live in a mansion in Santa Barbara and sell jam at Target, although they can't get a company together. If you could take the madness of that era of American history and tell one story, and only one story, to describe the merging of self-interest with supposed racial consciousness and social justice. If there was only one story to tell, to expose the hypocrisy and madness of that era, it

would be Meghan Markle. There needs not be any other stories told about that time. You don't need them. She is it. She was an actress on the show Suits. She became the Duchess of Sussex and married a prince and then went crazy and dragged him out of the country to go live in a mansion in America and sell jam. Santa Barbara, by the way, is very diverse community,

as we all know, Santa Barbara, Montecito, where she lives. That is the one story. And now we'll be going back to this country that she says is unsafe for her and her children. She'll be going back and Megan, you know, so they'll never go stay with his family again, but they want a new house. She goes, listen, give me a new house

and give me the security that you will have and give me a new house. And then she is ready to go. And it's why it's been my favorite story. It's been my favorite thing to follow because I like stories that that reduce the need to tell other stories One story can explain it all. This is the one that explains it all she comes back here She goes what do I really want to do? What do I really want to do?

She does all the bullshit, you know, she's dancing in Africa with people with cleft lips and all that You know, she does she she does all the photo ops. When she gets back to America, she doesn't go set up a clinic for people. She wants to sling jam to white pigs in Target, and that's the goal. And then she hires a bunch of people and they all quit, Probably because there's nothing for them to do because the company's not real. She set up a fake comp, this is what every rich bitch does. They have a fake company.

Markle added, I spend a lot of time just Googling, looking for brands. When people are online looking for things or reading things, I'm trying to find new great designers, especially in different territories. Megan added, times where I know there is a global spotlight and attention will be given each detail of what I may or may not be wearing. Then I support designers that I have really great friendships with and smaller up and coming brands that haven't gotten the attention they should be getting. That's one of the most powerful things I'm able to do and that's simply wearing like

an earring. So that's part of her activism is wearing an earring. She's telling you, she goes, one of the most powerful things I'm able to do is wear an earring. This is one of the things I'm really able to do is to wear an earring. It's one of my most, I am, this is one of my most powerful things I'm able to do is to wear an earring. It's one of my most, I am, this is one of my most powerful things I'm able to do is to wear a dress or an earring. And now there's 18 morons, imagine those people

that went to go work for her company and then are like, I gotta get out, like they're all talking to each other. They go, hey man, we think this company's fake. Guy's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. The numbers don't lie and they have at least 20 members of staff quitting on them. It tells its own story. It's unprecedented, even for a startup.

The brutal reality is Harry and Meghan are the toughest of taskmaskers. They're very demanding and difficult to work for and that's put a lot of people's backs up. No way! You don't say, you don't say. This woman is mean to the employees, to the staff. She sounds like a royal to me You know by the way

That when she look at those eyes, you know that when she was over there she she was probably the most abusive to the royal staff She was like Joffrey in Game of Thrones, you know, tying the maid to the bedpost for the lashings. And all of these people that went to go work for her because they believe the narrative that they were sold, that she's some like, you know, this egalitarian, you know, I'm breaking boundaries and everything. And then they go work for a jam company and, you know, you know, like an interaction probably went like this, she goes, hi, so I'm seeing that you went out for a lunch to get a lunch, and they were like, yeah, well, I was picking something up for you, and I figured I would just grab some, okay, okay.

No, that's great. I just want, I wanna make sure that you log the time, even when you were running my errand, there was personal time, so want to make sure that you log the time even when you were running my errand There was personal time. So I'm gonna make sure that you log the personal time during the running of my errand Oh, yeah, it was probably like five minutes. I just ran into this salad, but sure Well as you can understand even if it's just five minutes what we really want to do here is we really want to get into good habits and good habits are transparency

and even if it's five minutes of grabbing a salad I just want you to log that as personal time okay I guarantee it was a lot of that was a lot of that stuff it was a lot of that oh I feel so sorry about your mother and I'm I understand that it's very tough you, loss affects us all in different ways, but I need you to be in the office in an hour. Yeah, okay. Well, we actually have an emergency. Gwyneth Paltrow has not received her jam

and I sent jam to her and it's showing that it's returned unopened. And I'm thinking it's because we actually either don't have the right address or it went to the gate house and then it got sent back because it didn't go through a security screening. All Gwyneth's packages have to go through a security screening.

And I just, I'm wondering when you can come in and find where Gwyneth Paltrow's jam is. No, I understand your mother had a stroke. I understand people have strokes. That's what happens in life. They have strokes. Their brain goes, it's a stroke. We get it. I want you to find Zoe Saldana's jam that was delivered to her. And if you don't have it, I just don't want you coming back to the office. I don't want you coming back to the office. I want you to leave your mother's funeral right now and personally deliver Kesha her jam.

Personally hand it to Kesha because this is why I left the royal family, to do this, to do this. Well, at least she's going back. At least she's going back. We took a little break from politics this episode because there's not much going on. The debates are obviously going to be massively important. I don't think anything is going to mean more than these debates.

These are probably the most important debates I think in any election of recent memory. And I think what we're going to have is, this is funny, this is Carrie Lake at a Trump rally. It says rap ASAP, Colton, please get off stage. Please get off stage. Trump waiting. That's hilarious. Trump's like, get off stage. He's the headliner. He's the fucking headliner. Seven minutes over. Seven minutes over. Carrie. The debates will be incredibly important where is the first debate where's it gonna be I know Dana bash is hosting it she's like always hosting them she's not great no she's kind of boring Atlanta okay interesting whoa Atlanta oh Yeah. Okay, interesting. Whoa. Atlanta. Oh, that's good.

Should we go? Yeah, why not? When is it? I wonder if I can get a press pass and set up like a little booth. Totally. I probably could, right? Yeah, you would just be,

we'd just submit as a media organization. Well good. Try to find that out. That might be fun to go get a little booth. September 10th. Sell ice cream, homemade ice cream outside the debate until we get caught. Just get the gift of Massachusetts. September 10th.

Oh Philadelphia, just kidding. Even closer. Great. Try to see if we can get there. Okay. That might be fun. All right everyone, we'll see you next week. Goodbye.

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