The Tim Dillon Show - 410 - Diddy Freak Offs & The Costco Family
Episode Date: September 21, 2024Tim examines Diddy’s arrest, exploding pagers in the Middle East, another attempt on Trump’s life, Venezuelans in Colorado, minivans, Biden in a MAGA hat and what comes after the Costco family. A...merican Royalty Tour 🎟 https://www.timdilloncomedy.com/ SPONSORS: Legacy Visit givelegacy.com and use promo code (TIM) for 10% off. Morgan & Morgan For more information go to forthepeople.com/tim Harry’s Razor’s Go To www.harrys.com/DILLON for a $3 Trial Set. ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/
Transcript
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show.
Thank you to everybody who is sharing the trailer for the Netflix show.
This is your country, the reimagining of a 90s trash TV show with yours truly as the host.
We really appreciate it.
The trailers had a great response and people are excited about it.
Comes out October 1st.
Our friend, friend of the show
P. Diddy
Incarcerated
In jail, in Brooklyn
I mean
What is going on here?
What is going on?
Diddy is locked What is going on?
Diddy is locked.
A girl I went to school with was, I like think, very close with him and then scrubbed her whole IG in the last couple of days. Just fun.
Not saying who it is. I'm no rat, but I'm just saying it's fun.
Other people from school called me,
they were like, that's kind of fun, huh?
And I go, it's a little fun.
It's a little fun.
It's worth noting.
And then she went on a whole thing about Haiti.
Diddy is accused of holding freak-offs
with male prostitutes according to court documents.
Sean Diddy comes, freak-offs were arranged
by high-ranking supervisors.
Security household workers and assistants.
So he apparently forced people to do sexual acts,
perform sex acts.
Over a thousand bottles of baby oil and lube were found during the raids,
which were allegedly used during the freak offs.
Combs would force women to partake.
It would make embarrassing recordings, which used as blackmail to keep victims quiet.
Combs team would schedule IV delivery
after the days long freak off, so the victims could recover
from the physical exertion and drug use. Well, that's nice.
Combs would even track women's locations and keep track of their medical records.
The video was filmed in Central Park just hours before the rapper was arrested.
So he was in Central Park.
And what was he doing? Just having fun?
He was just taking it in.
He was just having fun in Central Park.
The last day of freedom.
Wow.
They're gonna kill him, I think.
No, they are.
They're clearly gonna kill him.
Guards are getting ready to fall asleep as we speak because there's no way
that he can go out and say all of the things he knows and talk about all of the people who went to the freak-offs
That is my guess my guess is that they're gonna take him out. It's not only my guess. There are a lot of people
That are thinking that he's like the black Epstein. They got to get rid of him. He's gonna come out and he's gonna say hey
everybody from political figures to big music people
to pastors, mega church people, like I don't think that can go down.
I think what's going to happen is he is going to be, he's going to feel very depressed.
That's my guess is that he did.
He's going to feel very depressed and he's gonna be sad and
he's not gonna want to go on anymore I don't know I can't say for sure but it
seems like an unnecessary risk for all of these people to just allow him to
dime on all of them to try to get a lesser sentence which he will most likely do
Or his cell phones going to explode. That's the other possibility
for P. Diddy he may
I'm surprised is something didn't explode or I'm
I'm surprised a dildo didn't explode a week ago and take out P. Diddy and
exploding dildo to get rid of P Diddy. We are now in, it's fully the Marx Brothers now.
We have exploding pay.
Israel's got panini presses blowing up to try to kill Hezbollah.
We have a Caddyshack assassination attempt where the barrel of a gun is sticking out of the bushes on a Palm
Beach golf course like a scene from Abbott and Costello. This is a Marx
Brothers. What is the next way they're gonna kill Trump with like an exploding
cake? It's getting to be like a Laurel and Hardy 1920s Three three stooges, slapstick country, world.
Pagers are blowing up all over Lebanon, cell phones, pagers,
tablets.
Israel apparently hacking all these devices
or planting bombs or what.
I don't know the, I don't really know the,
I love how America is just really not commenting. They're like, well the I don't really know the I love how America is just really not commenting they're like well we don't really know it's we got to
collect some more information on this it's so it's the old exploding pager
trick um can we show any of these we discussed this a few days ago if we can
show any of these here's a man man shopping. Yeah, we can show it. We'll just blur that. Here's a man shopping and then all of the sudden his pager explodes.
It's really not that bad from the top. Well, here's the deal.
Israel certainly has the element of surprise.
And however, they just will not calm down.
Israel will not stop.
They are wiling out. They will not stop. And
the Middle East is like a tinderbox and Sheikh Nasrallah, the head of the Lebanese
I believe I'm forgetting Hezbollah, is saying this is a declaration of war and they're going to go after Israel
You know, I mean I didn't even know Israel could do that. I didn't even know this was possible to be done
I didn't even know people still used pagers. I didn't even know that
Pagers could explode. I didn't even know that I
Mean a real supply chain issue here
I mean the real supply chain issue here I mean, I didn't even know that any of this could happen that you could be a that Etch's sketches could blow up
I mean, I didn't know
That this could go down, but you know, this is a black mirror episode every day is a new
strange episode
where it's hard to fully I
episode where it's hard to fully I
Guess is realize a very secretive
Cybersecurity division. I believe it's called 8200 or something and
Israel's very good at the hacking and
Whatever they have a cyber security unit right unit and I forget what it is But it's a unit of people that do this type of thing. This is what they do
And I don't know exactly what it's called. What are you going to Israel gov?
That might be a bit skewed unit 8200
It's an Israeli intelligence corps unit of the Israeli, the IDF responsible for clandestine
operation unit is composed primarily of 18 to 21 year old hackers and nerds and fun people
that are I guess really good at the type of operation that you just witnessed.
And don't get it twisted.
They will get P. Diddy with the exploding dildo and he will not face trial.
There's no way he goes to trial if they can do this.
If they can do this, you almost wonder, and I mean, again, I don't want to get in, I don't
want to be a start with this here.
It's like, how did Hamas pull this off?
If they're so good, like if this intelligence unit
is so amazing, and I know that Netanyahu
doesn't really want any investigation
into the intelligence failures of October 7th,
but they're so good at certain things,
and I guess other things are just not as great at,
small amounts of explosives were implanted in beepers that Hezbollah
had ordered from a Taiwanese company according to American and other
officials briefed on the operation. I mean yeah here we go. There it is.
By the way can we just comment on the produce? Looks nice. Can we just comment
on the produce selection there? It does looks nice. Can we just comment on the produce
selection there? It does look nice.
It I don't know, it doesn't seem like
the war is ending, right?
This isn't what happens before war
ends. You don't hack everybody's
smartphone and beeper and start
blowing everything up.
Right.
They're going to blow up my sunglasses
soon.
You just Lebanese Health Ministry, at least nine dead, 300 injured
in walkie talkie explosions.
Play a little bit of this.
At least nine people are dead.
Hundreds have been wounded, and that's according
to the Lebanese Health Ministry.
That blast that you just had in Beirut set off panic
in the streets, as you can see here. That was amid a crowd attending a funeral for Hezbollah
fighters. Early reports indicate the explosions took place in southern Lebanon.
By the way, I'm going, my grandmother sadly passed away. My last grandparent is gone and
I'm going to a funeral and I'm wondering if there's going to be exploding devices. I imagine not but who knows not everyone in my family loves me
they're not all thrilled with me let's be honest. Ryan Routh who is... what is
going on with this guy Ryan Routh now you've not been able to find his music
his song doesn't exist online. Oh it doesn't god damn it. Ryan Routh, now you've not been able to find his music. His song doesn't exist online.
Oh, it doesn't.
No, no.
God damn it.
Ryan Routh was arrested in Palm Beach after sticking an assault rifle through the fence
while Trump was golfing.
This guy's a lunatic who, it was really inspired by the Ukraine War, by the way.
So that's interesting and
Which it does inspire people, you know, I get it, you know, my friend Connor went over there to fight with them
I get it. It's a sad story blah blah blah blah blah blah
Okay, I'm not not you know what I mean? I'm with it. I'm I get it. I'm with it
Ryan Routh was arrested in Palm Beach because he was trying to kill Trump now. This guy's a madman
And he's got the barrel of his rifle coming out of the bushes
Again like a scene from Caddyshack like it's a weird
Strange thing I think he's been interviewed on the news a few times.
And by the way, can you get the quotes from his son to the Daily Mail?
These were the craziest things I have ever heard.
He's like, oh, my dad.
He's like, listen, if he wants to be a martyr,
I'm not for it, but we all hate the way these elections go
down every four years.
It's the most insane thing that you hear from somebody whose
father just tried to kill the president.
Orrin Ralph, his son, he goes, I don't have any comment beyond a character profile of him as a loving
and caring father and honest hard-working man. He went on to say, I don't know what's happened in
Florida. I hope things have just been blown out of proportion. Because from the little I've heard,
it doesn't sound like the man I know to do anything crazy. He's a good father and a great man,
and I hope you can portray him in an honest light.
Then he said like this, he described his father as someone who was not violent claiming
he only had a couple of traffic tickets, but noted that he does hate Trump as every reasonable person does. Lovely son, keep going down.
He goes, I don't like Trump either. He's my dad and all he's had is a couple of traffic tickets as far as I know.
That's crazy. I know my dad and I love my dad and that's nothing like him.
Orin said that it was the first that he had heard about the incident and didn't
even know his dad was in Florida, adding, we had a falling out.
We've grown apart.
Um, so then he comes back, keep going down cause he comes back and he says,
um, he goes, he comes back and I read where he was basically like, he quotes South Park and
he says like, listen, if my dad wants to be a martyr, that's on him.
Like he does this crazy quote where then he's like, it's just like South Park.
He goes, it's like every four years we vote for a douche bag or a turd stamp.
Like, he starts doing a podcast after they tell him,
like, his father almost tried to kill the president.
He's like, listen, we all hate this process.
I think it was this.
Yeah, it might have been the post.
Let's see if we can find it down here.
It was the funniest thing I've ever heard.
I was like, this is the craziest thing I have ever heard from the son of somebody who, yeah,
here we go.
After abruptly hanging up the phone, Orrin Routh sent a long text to the Daily Mail in
which he said, if his father wants to be a martyr, that's his choice,
and complained that voters are exhausted and embarrassed
by candidates running for the White House.
Can you imagine, keep going, keep-
I'll pull the Daily Mail article,
that's where it-
Yeah, can you imagine being told your father
just tried to assassinate the President of the United States and then going like,
hey, we're not into this.
All this stuff is pretty embarrassing out there, these elections.
Pretty nuts.
Your father just tried to assassinate the president.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll tell you, he's not the only one.
It's like the craziest thing in the world
Listen to this This is what the guy says after his father tries to kill the president
I hate this game every four years and I think we all do and if my father wants to be a martyr to how broken and dis
Disassociated the processes become from the real problems and practical solutions and that's his choice by the way
Can someone arrest this guy? Can someone arrest him? I'm not saying that's what he's done or what he's about. That's just my own rant being
fed up with it for all of my entire adult life, he wrote. South Park said it best. Can you imagine
his father is trying to assassinate the prey? He's typing this to the Daily Mail. He's sending a text.
South Park said it best.
Every four years, we're forced to choose between a turd sandwich and a giant douche.
And it all stays fucked in the same ways by different degrees and we're exhausted and embarrassed by it all.
This is after his father's like tried to kill the president of the United States.
This guy is like doing a pod.
That's what you would say on like a podcast.
That's what you would say.
That's like a rant you would go on on like a podcast.
Not after you've been told your father just tried to kill the President of the United States.
Do we have any of Ryan Routh, any of his interviews?
He was interviewed by some different news organizations and institutions had him on. And by the way,
you look at this guy, this is by the way, this is how you
know that people are so ideologically driven in this country
that they can no longer recognize a crazy person. Like the
news is so blinded by their hatred for Trump that they, they no
longer recognize this person is a complete psychopath.
Um, and in his interviews, he comes off, he reads crazy.
Thousands upon thousands of people standing here with the Ukrainians,
this, this maiden square, independent square, we should have millions of of people in this square filling the square from every country around the world.
And while we don't, I don't understand.
I'm here every day with all the flags from all the supporting countries, with the memorials
for the people that have died.
And, you know, I've had several people come, but just a handful, you know, so it blows
my mind. come but just a handful you know so it's like is it the CIA now is just as bad as
like everything else like like every hotel you go to socks everything's bad
everything you watch socks like is that what this is like it's Langley just so
bad at everything now that it's just the fully bottom of the barrel where they're
just great grabbing anyone they're like like sending this guy over to the Ukraine.
I mean, is this how bad it's getting?
Is it because everything you everywhere you go when we've talked about this ad nauseum
on the show, everything is disappointing and everybody's kind of upset you're there and
customer service is dead and client services is over and people don't want you there.
And when you walk in somewhere,
people kind of like begrudgingly tolerate you.
And I'm wondering if the CIA has gotten to that point now
where like no one, there's,
you would think that they would have a better class of Patsy,
like a better class of Patsy.
Like say what you want about Oswald, but he
was a better class of Patsy than whatever this is. I don't know. I mean, maybe it's a fun thing to
think about. They're just sitting around in Virginia going, yeah, we don't know. We don't
know. He's the one. He's what we got. He's what we got, you know?
Is there any other interview of him?
Yeah, hold on.
I think he's done some more mainstream things as well.
I mean, this guy is a nut and I don't know what they're,
I don't know what they're charging him with.
He's gonna share a cell with Diddy.
He filed off the number, serial number on his gun,
and then a couple other things.
It's the maximum charge for all those things.
Sure.
Sure.
Here we go.
Here's a couple of different quotes from him right here.
You got $1,000.
His son Oren posted, he is a loving and caring father.
It doesn't sound like the man I know to do anything crazy, much
less violent.
Ruth tried to enlist in the International Legion of Foreign Fighters in Ukraine, but
was considered too old.
We need 100,000 people here fighting.
Instead, he became a recruiter.
CBS News' senior foreign correspondent, Holly Williams, was in contact with Ruth for more
than a year.
Can you imagine?
Ryan Ruth seemed very sincere, but at times, you know, perhaps somewhat naive.
Naive?
At one point he even sent me an audio track of a song that he'd apparently recorded about
the carnage caused by the war in Ukraine.
So again, this is just my point.
This is, this guy's a complete lunatic.
He's sending songs to the people that work at CBS News.
Can you imagine this?
And instead of going, hey, this guy's a lunatic,
we should cease all communication with him.
He's actually a massive problem.
Instead of doing that, this woman continues the relationship.
He's a bit naive.
He's a sweet boy, but he's a bit naive. He certainly did not give the impression of being a hardened fighter.
Just last week in the debate with Kamala Harris, President Trump was lukewarm in his support for Ukraine.
Yeah, I mean again, this has nothing to do with, why do they go right into that?
I love how they go right into that.
They go right into that?
How about the fact that CBS was corresponding for a
year with a guy who tried to kill the president of the United States. Is that worth a mention?
And they go right into the Trump was lukewarm for support of the Ukraine. They gloss over
that. Yeah, this journalist is... People are blinded by such hatred. It's like if Fox News was like
communicating with a militia member for a year who was like sending them songs about migrants and
then tried to kill Kamala, whatever, like you can't be blinded by rage and hatred to a point
where you cannot recognize what's in front of your face, which is the psychopath
How what song did you god I want the song so there's flashes up like there
He's tweeted out like Bruno Mars and a couple other people. Yeah, cuz he wants a collab. He wants a collab
I'd love a Bruno Mars pro Ukraine song
I'd love a Bruno Mars pro-Ukraine song. This is him?
This is before his Twitter got nuked.
Before he used to be George Galloway, which is an Irish politician.
Okay.
Bruno Mars, I live in Hawaii, was in Ukraine for eight months and need help producing a
tribute song for Ukraine.
I have all lyrics and some music.
Well, I'm sure Bruno Mars' people were, I'm sure that never got to them.
How exciting. But that is sure that never got to them. How exciting.
But that is something that your celebrity might do.
That's not beyond the realm of possibility.
That like Bruno Mars would go out there with this guy.
He did Bono, it was Bono and Bruno Mars.
Sure.
He's tweeting at the people he thinks are going to bite.
You know, Bono is socially conscious.
I don't know that Bruno Mars is maybe maybe he is maybe he's not
But I would have loved that he's just he's just tweeting at celebrities musicians going
Let's you know, we are the world
We are the Ukraine
Vice said we were white nationalists, but we forgot that
We want Crimea
It's a land bridge. We all love
Putin's gonna invade Poland if we don't have another trillion dollars
I'm sure it would have rhymed better and whatnot, but
Did he denied bail for sex trafficking prostitution and the freak-offs
They're not letting Diddy bail himself out because they know someone's going to kill him.
See, here's what's interesting.
You would think, oh, they're not letting him out because they think people are going to kill him on the outside.
They know that he might survive on the outside.
They're going to kill him on the inside.
They're like, no, no, no, no bail for you.
We'll get to you on the inside.
We want to make sure we get to you on the inside. They're like, no, no, no, no bail for you. We'll get to you on the inside. We want to make sure we get to you on the inside.
Um,
let's talk for a minute about, um,
the migrant situation in Aurora,
Colorado, because what has been,
um, this is the Wall Street Journal again,
by the way, doing great work.
The Wall Street Journal does,
I mean, it's so good what they do.
It's so amazing what they're doing.
And Michelle Hackman, whoever that woman is,
who's writing at the Wall Street Journal,
thank God, because Michelle and the journal whoever that woman is, who's writing at the Wall Street Journal. Thank God because
Michelle and the journal has decided to basically correct the record on this Aurora, Colorado
don't get a picture up it doesn't matter what she looks like go back to the article.
Don't get a picture up. It doesn't matter what she looks like.
Go back to the article.
There you go.
They're correcting the record here
because what's going to happen is everybody
who is familiar with this story has gotten it wrong.
Because people think that migrants have taken over
a building in Aurora, Colorado because of a viral video that went viral.
Do we have the viral video?
Can we get the viral video?
Let's watch the video.
So now, by the way, I want everyone to watch this.
What you're watching is good.
This is not a problem.
Wall Street Journal's telling you this.
They did not take over a building. They did not.
The violent Venezuelan prison gang did not take over this building.
It was a routine assassination in one of the units.
It was. They did not take over the building.
It's. It's. This is.
Eight of the ten men were arrested.
No big deal.
Eight of the 10 violent Venezuelan prison gang members
with military grade weaponry who were in the building.
So again, this is the Wall Street Journal
writing an article telling people to relax going hey why don't you fucking
relax you racist because what you thought was a full takeover of a building
was not it was just ten violent Venezuelan prison gang members carrying
out a routine operation or something they felt needed to be done.
Let's watch this video here.
This is nice. What's wrong with this?
What is wrong with this? Why would anyone have a problem with this in their country?
Thank you Wall Street Journal.
This is nice. It's a picnic. They're getting out. They're going. It's for a picnic.
Some of the residents are moving out because they're afraid of the Venezuelan gang activity. Racists! Everywhere these people.
By the way, the building itself doesn't look great. So get up this article. This is so
funny. Standing on his front stoop, Richard Valen struggled to describe the recent feeling
of unease that had settled over him. It's creeping up here. The evidence of crime undocumented
people around. The 77-year-old told a Republican campaign volunteer who knocked on his door gesturing
out at his quiet street 20 minutes north of Denver.
I know it sounds racist, but there's a lot of Spanish.
I don't know if these people will ever blend in, says Velen, a Republican voter and former
insurance salesman.
Now, by the way, understand that he is the villain of this article, not the eight Venezuelan
gang members with the gun.
Good.
Okay.
These days, the major incident troubling him and many others in his area is the August
murder in an apartment building in nearby Aurora.
A now viral video taken minutes before the shooting has aired on a local Fox affiliate
showed several Venezuelan men in one of the building's hallways carrying long guns.
People have tied the killing to the violent Venezuelan street gang trend to Aragua.
I'm not going to Aragua maybe.
I don't know how to do it.
But the video taken by someone's doorbell camera inside the building quickly metastasized
into exaggerated claims of a gang takeover of the building, the neighborhood and the
entire city.
The Aurora incident and its fallout have heightened existing fears in Colorado and elsewhere that immigrants in the country legally are making communities less safe.
Well,
You remember,
no one is saying that there were not
guys in the, they killed a guy in an apartment building I
don't understand when Trump wins again by the way when he wins again and people
go how did it happen how did it happen what about Taylor Swift um if he wins
again when he might win again I don't know but I want people to remember this
article I want people to remember that the Wall Street Journal
spent their time writing an article
saying that the fears of people who lived in this community
were completely unfounded
and that this situation was being misrepresented.
There are guys in the corridor with guns
and they're killing someone, but it's okay.
They didn't take over the whole building.
They didn't take over the whole neighborhood.
It's not that big of a deal.
It's not a former president.
Donald Trump has used the story of Aurora distorted and amplified by right wing news
outlets to bolster his tough on immigration message in the race against.
Can you imagine thinking this place with people by the way, can you imagine writing this article
thinking it lands?
Can you imagine writing this article thinking it lands?
Who in God's name does this land with?
Participants in a Wall Street Journal poll from late August
said Trump would be best able to handle immigration
rather than Harris.
Harris hasn't spoken about Aurora, but she was asked,
and she's never just asked about anything, but she was asked about another incident of misinformation
around migrants in Springfield, Ohio. There Haitian immigrants were baselessly accused
by Trump and others of stealing and eating. So this article, the job of this article is
basically to come out and go, listen, guys, we understand you're all racists and you don't
like the Venezuelan people with the
military grade weaponry in the hallway of the building because you're racist. But what we would
really like you to correct the record, we want to correct the record and say that those people were
arrested, eight of 10, they were arrested. The people that came into the country in the prison gang that were showing up at the apartment
complex to murder someone.
They were arrested.
They didn't do what everyone's saying they did.
By the way, nobody thought they took over a town.
But it doesn't mean you're running the town.
To take over a town, by the way, if I say rats have taken over the town, it doesn't mean rats are the mayor
It means there's a lot of rats in the town
so if I and I'm not saying that but these are prison gang people but the point is this if I say
You know pokey shops have taken over the town. It doesn't mean that the mayor is a pokey bowl with rice
What it means is that?
is a poke bowl with rice. What it means is that,
this is fucking, it's always a food example,
but what it means is that there's a lot
of poke shops in the town.
Nobody thought that a Venezuelan prison gang
was now running the town.
It's a figure of speech, by the way.
But the idea that this like article
is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.
They're like, what's the pro- it was one murder.
It was one murder.
What's the big deal?
Instead of, instead of the Wall Street Journal, the article should be, there are
clearly problems with migration.
Which kind of did best to handle these?
Instead of telling people what they're seeing isn't real.
This never works. Telling people what they're seeing in front of their face isn't real never works. Concede the point
that there's issues. There are, show the video again please. There's videos. Concede there's
an issue. Is there not an issue here? If you lived in this apartment complex would you not feel like this was an issue? Well it's overstated actually. There are people with guns in the
whole... Well it's actually been amplified it's not that big of a deal
they never took over the whole town. There's eight or ten people here a lot
of them have guns in an apartment building they shouldn't be in the
country. Well it's actually a kind of. It's not that big of a deal.
Yeah.
Well, people said that they actually took hostages, but they didn't.
They just killed someone.
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Death of the minivan. I'll tell you what needs to happen.
You know who needs to find the minivan? The Venezuelan prison gangs.
By the way, what about our own criminals? What about our own hardworking United States
What about our own hardworking United States criminals that now have to compete with a very vicious gang of people that we're bringing in?
Our own criminals, our own people that have fallen through the cracks,
that are making a living with stick-ups and drug sales and things like that. They have to compete with foreign workers coming in,
coming into their apartment buildings with guns and killing the people they should be killing.
And frankly, it's disgusting.
The death of the minivan. It was a perfect vehicle.
No, it was not.
The minivan dilemma.
It is the least cool vehicle ever designed yet
The most useful offering the best value for the most the minivan by the way destroyed everyone. I know his life
The minivan immediately became like this is why everyone in my generation
Did not have a clean house until they had to go to therapy for years
Their parents had this mobile
garbage trash compactor called a minivan that we all were driven around in where
when we were children we would fling Dunkaroos and Milano cookies and fucking
Fun Dip and we would throw them all over this car and
They had like those felt seats or whatever
You know that that cushion seat and it was like a weird velvet and it was always sticky with shit
Look like that
Everyone in my generation
was damaged irreparably by growing up with minivans, eating in them,
fighting with your brothers and sisters and friends in them, having your parents.
It was all part of going to a drive-thru, eating the food, throwing the food.
And look at them. This is the way they looked.
And that's why when my generation of people went to college,
their dorms were disgusting.
When they first got girlfriends,
their girlfriends went, what the fuck?
How were you raised?
And they were raised in a fucking minivan
by boomers that turned it into
a disgusting environment on wheels.
The cars you grew up in are the reason you're an animal.
They are.
And if you didn't grow up in a minivan that's filthy,
good for you.
But if you did, you're an animal.
The cars you grew up in, the cars that you sat in the back of, that was your example,
okay, of what was tolerated and what was not tolerated.
There were certain friends I had where the cars were immaculate.
Most not, but some but a lot of my close friends because
the classes
You know don't really commingle
most of my lower middle class
dirtbag friends and their dirtbag families had minivans and
No one took any pride in a minivan was bought to be destroyed
You hated it. You hated the fact that you were in it.
It was a roving garage of shit and you would see them. You would all you would get in line
at Wendy's and it would be minivan. My mother had an Econoline Ford van. The minivan wasn't enough. She needed a big van that had a bed in the back
because she would always go and get antiques.
She would pick up furniture that people had left
outside of their houses in the hopes
that she was going to refurbish it.
But the minivan, I couldn't think of a type of vehicle
that did more damage to people than the minivan
Here's here's what the minivan did it made everybody a fatty boom baddie number one you don't need that much space you don't
You don't
You don't need that much space
The minivan was so that you could go and shop and buy crap
Put it in the car
You could go eat and put leftovers in the car
your kids could play with toys in the car and
Everything that should have been reserved for a
location that didn't move and
Wasn't in traffic would be happening in the car.
You could eat in the car.
Everybody, here's your food.
Everybody eat in the car.
Everyone's covered in ketchup.
Great.
Here's some napkins.
There's ketchup all over the thing.
It's sticky.
It's filthy.
It was the worst car and it made the worst people. It did. Anyone that grew up in a minivan
knows exactly what I'm talking about. My grandparents never had a minivan. My
grandfather had a he had a Crown Vic, he had a Cadillac Eldorado, he had a Crown
Vic. Nobody ate in the car. You did not eat in the car. You were not allowed. As
soon as the minivans came around, not only were you allowed to eat in the car you were not allowed. As soon as the minivans came around not only
were you allowed to eat in the car it was actually required that's why we got
it. We got it so you could eat your fat stuff your fat face in the car because
we're animals and we got to eat on the way to practice for this thing. We got to
eat on the way to karate and you can't fit in the belt that you're not
gonna fucking get upgraded to anyway. You would eat on the way to think.
They would pick you up at school in the minivan. You would go, you would eat and
then they would take you to wherever. And then they would you know drop you off
and pick you up. Eating, eating, eating always. Dirty, filthy, toys, toys in the minivan. Play with these toys, play around.
It was a discussing.
The minivan arrived way back when as a savior when Chrysler under the former Ford chief Lee Iacocca's direction first conceived of the design in the late 1970s.
One was the land yacht style station wagon, perhaps an avocado green with faux wood paneling.
Lots of kids could pile into the bench in jump seats while the rear storage accessible
by hatch allowed for easy loading.
These cars were somewhat functional but they didn't seem that safe.
The suburban family's other choice was the full size van, a big boxy transporter utility
vehicle.
Chrysler's minivan would steer clear of those two dead ends and carry
American families onto the open roads towards well youth soccer and mall
commerce. It really did bring innovation. Ample seating organized in rows with
easy access with the ability to stow those seats in favor of a large cargo
bag with a set of sliding doors. So everybody loved these things. Sales
reached 700,000 by the end of the decade as the station wagon all but disappeared and the minivan came in
People lived in their cars. They ate in their cars
The nation where cars stood in for power and freedom the minivan would mean the opposite as a vehicle
It symbolized the burdens of domestic life. This is true. It's why you could treat it like shit
of domestic life, this is true, it's why you could treat it like shit.
That's why the minivan you could treat like shit, because it was a utility vehicle. It was a vehicle to go literally from point A to point B.
You weren't going to stop at the grocery store and get food and go home and cook it.
You were going to drive through a mobile poison factory and kill your children
on the way to fucking
dropping them off at dance class so your fat daughter could learn how to do a
pirouette no car represented the decline of this Empire more than the minivan
none and no car was beloved more by the boomer more than the mini van because they needed space boomers needed space
There it is
The Chrysler town and country show that one
That was the high-end one
Go to the Chrysler town and country
Town and country Chrysler, that's kind of nice
My aunt had that.
This is the old one.
That's the old Chrysler town and country.
People would pick you up with that.
They would pick you up at school and they would sit you in that.
And then they would fucking douse you in maple syrup and then bring you to a fucking soccer game
It is crazy if you're driving one of those now, it's like god, so what are they being replaced by?
Sentinel SUVs, right? I mean what's what you're placing the minivan suicide
People just checking out
human trafficking is
Diddy.
The minivan is out.
Diddy trafficking your children is replacing the minivan.
Chrysler is struggling to keep up.
Israel should make all of those blow up by the way.
You want to impress me?
Blow up the minivans in wherever, Lebanon.
You blow up the minivans in Lebanon.
Impress me. it's so funny I mean
yeah it really Biden wearing the MAGA hat at the rally I love because you know
Biden wants Trump to win Biden hates her and he hates what they did to him
other than Biden being completely out of his mind I don't know was he the worst
candidate let's look at Biden.
Biden's kind of spry. Biden's kind of tough and he's a little spry.
Kind of like him when he comes alive again. He's like, I know you would know about being old.
You got to remember how much anger Biden has because everything in his life has been horrible. So he can he can marshal that anger when he needs to. He's like, I
know you'd know about being old. He's thinking about his wife being fucking
killed in the accident and the kids and the son and he's mad and then he's
thinking about this bitch and Obama
and everybody who kicked him out of the fucking.
I mean, he looks good here, but let's see this.
Let's see him put on the Trump hat.
I need that hat.
You want my autograph?
Hell no.
You know my name.
No.
Come on.
Come on.
I ain't going that far.
Yeah.
Do it.
Let's do a selfie.
He loves it. There he filthy. He loves it.
There he goes.
He loves it.
Biden's fun.
Biden's kind of fun.
Biden's kind of fun.
Biden's like fun now.
No eating dogs and cats.
No eating dogs and cats.
I'm telling you right now.
I want him to do something else.
I don't want to lose him.
I don't want to lose him.
I don't want to lose him.
I don't want to lose him.
I don't want to lose him.
I don't want to lose him.
I don't want to lose him.
I don't want to lose him.
I don't want to lose him.
I don't want to lose him. I don't want to lose him. I don't want to lose him. I don't want to lose him. I'm telling you right now. I
Want him to do something else? I don't want to lose him now that he's just not gonna be the president
He's fun now. He's fun
He's better than anyone at the Emmys
give him an Emmy I
want to talk about this Costco family before I get out of here because
You know so interesting this Costco family is taking the world by storm. No, we don't know anything. Oh god, please
Let me prepare myself before this starts just happening
No, it's by the way everything that I thought like the country would turn into it's somehow worse And I like I'm like hyperbolic like I like you look at listen my old shit
It's like it's like everything's dialed up to an 11 and we're at like a 13 in this country right now
So I don't even know what these people are or who they are
But they are kind of interesting and you can't stop watching them, but it is something's like crazy and wrong
And they're this family. They're like Costco influencers and the dad,
they got to meet like Gary Vee and the dad's like,
the dad goes, I've been following Gary Vee for 10 years.
The dad's clearly been trying to get famous forever. Okay. And,
and he goes, I've been following Gary V for 10 years and he's like really
responsible for this and I'm like don't even blame this on Gary V like there's
no way that Gary V even cosign this like if this guy went to Gary V and was like
so I'm just gonna look at the camera go double chalk chocolate cookie I think
Gary V would even go yeah I don't know maybe you should do something else I
think Gary V would even go like maybe that's not the way to do it. Double talk talk a cook. Like there's no way that Gary Vee
for all his craziness co-signed any of this. This is a complete accident here.
Can you get one up where they dance? Yeah, give me a sec. Is YouTube or somebody gonna, is, are we gonna get in trouble for playing the song Bring the Boom?
Yeah, I mean
They're Costco influencers. One of my friends son saw the Rizzler the other day in Long Island.
We bring the boom! That's what we do!
We bring the boom!
We bring the boom to you!
We bring the boom!
We bring the boom to everybody!
Why is it good?
Is it because we want death?
Like we long for death in this- like
You know what I mean?
Like I'm like why is this kind of entertaining? Is it like-
Is it like we just want this
civilization to crumble as quickly as possible? I think that's what it is. It's like the ultimate just like well fuck it
Cuz I watch this I'm not nearly as
disturbed by it as I should be I just kind of like you end up kind of just we bring the bull and I go is
It just it's the by the way. It's the darkest thing I have ever seen there is nothing darker than this
No, I'm serious. There is nothing darker than this. We bring the boom and they have to to the cookies going like this
The fact that this is kind of entertaining
signifies we are at the end. We are post any type of like we are postpartum, we are postmortem,
like we are done here. I watch this stuff and I'm watching them and I'm watching they do the we
bring the boom and they're eating these cookies and these things and
I'm like why this doesn't shock me. It doesn't disturb me. It simply is a curiosity
But I think what it is and I think the reason for its popularity is
We long now kind of openly
for some type of nuclear holocaust or a natural does it like a
major natural does that like there's nothing else that I can glean from the
popularity of this other than people are fully subconsciously or consciously
wishing for like a black hole to swallow up the universe can you please play more
of this?
This is why we fought the Iraq War.
Get the Rizzler! I don't want... Get the Rizzler, please!
You know the Rizzler's going to jail one day? Like it's gonna be, they're gonna be like,
social media star known as the Rizzler was apprehended
after a fight with his girlfriend in the Cheesecake Factory.
I can't understand any of this.
There we go. Here he is.
The Rizzler is the whole thing, really. I mean the other two are great, but the Rizzler is the thing.
BAKE!
OR A DOUBLE CHUNK CHOCOLATE COOKIE!
Um, I'm gonna have to give the chicken bake.
The BOOM!
And the double chunk chocolate a DOOM!
You heard it from the Rizzler!
chocolate
Now let me just say let me just ask you a question what happens next in society
You know what I mean like like what exactly would be next here?
What is act two to this like what does this?
like Fortel, you know like this is a quick
It's just look at the face. Can you zoom in on the on the chunk chocolate cookie guys face?
What this guy is gonna kill them all crisp and was style. There's no way he doesn't kill this whole family
He's gonna bring the boom alright.
Alright, get him out of here.
I like them though.
I do like them.
Why do I like them?
That's the problem.
I don't understand why they are, but I think they're good because we've fully, like we've
released ourselves from any expectation that anything will ever make sense
or that anything will be,
even though we're pattern seeking creatures
and we can use reason and logic,
it seems like we're done with that.
And it seems like we're kind of just vibing.
Three Americans tried to overthrow government in the Congo
and they were sentenced to death and I support it.
We talked about this on the show.
I do support that.
If you go to another country
and try to overthrow their government,
you will be sentenced to death.
And I'm not saying you should die,
but I do support the government of the Congo.
Like I'm not trying to explain this.
It's one of those, what do you think is going to happen stories?
Again, I'm not for, I don't want them to die, but let's zoom out.
What do you think is going to happen?
And what do you mean you got caught up in the Congo in the wrong thing?
Let's let's watch some of this year.
Three U.S. citizens were among 37 defendants sentenced to death by a military court on Friday
for the role in a failed coup in the Democratic Republic of Congo.
That's in Aurora, Colorado.
failed coup in the Democratic Republic of Congo. That's in Aurora, Colorado.
We bring the boom.
That's what we do.
We bring the boom.
Trendy Agra.
Whatever. All right.
Keep let's keep watching this place.
And men briefly occupied an office of the presidency on May 19th
before their leader, US based Congolese politician Christian
Malanga was killed by security forces.
His son Marcel Molonga was among the Americans on trial, along with Marcel's friend Tyler
Thompson, who played high school football with him in Utah.
Both are in their 20s.
The third American, Benjamin Zellman Palloon was a business associate of Christian Malanga.
All three were found guilty of saying, man, you that's this is when crypto goes bad.
You know that kid, that crypto kid.
Go back to his face.
A business associate.
Yeah.
He was like, right.
No, I guarantee you this is a shit coin gone wrong.
He's like, No, no, no, we're going to call it the Congo.
We're going to have a coin. The malanga coin. We get it you get it
He was definitely talking about crypto
With the the guy that got shot in the attempted coup. There was no way he was not talking about crypto
Let's keep going here along. God all three were found guilty of criminal conspiracy
All three were found guilty of criminal conspiracy, terrorism and other charges and sentenced to death in a ruling read on live TV.
Milanga had previously told the court that his father had threatened to kill him unless
he participated.
He also told the court it was his first time visiting Congo at the invitation of his father,
whom he had not seen in years.
The Americans are among some 50 people, including U.S., British, Canadian, Belgian, and Congolese
citizens standing trial. The State Department will probably do something here. They might.
They'll probably do something. They might get these kids out. The State Department will probably do something.
I don't know. Maybe not. Mitt Romney said something like it was a delicate situation.
Yeah, they're doing something. You know what they should do, by the way, they should send
over double choc chocolate cookie. Do you want a cookie? You want a chicken bake? Send the Congo a couple of chicken bakes so we can get these three kids back.
I'm not trying to celebrate their death.
I'm just saying you can't go to the Congo and try to overthrow a government.
According to NPR, neither of Utah's two Republican senators, Mitt Romney, Mike Lee have called on the Biden administration request their release.
I mean, listen, who knows what's going on?
Maybe they're back channeling.
Do the boom dance again.
Firing squad, by the way, which is not nice, but that's what happens if they get it.
Firing squad by the way which is not nice but that's what happens if they get it. Firing squad. We bring the boom!
That's what we do!
We bring the boom!
We bring the boom to you!
We bring the boom!
We bring the boom to everyone!
We bring the boom!
Your favorite father and son!
Every afternoon on your FYP!
We'll be bringing the people from the Congo?
Wouldn't their hearts be warmed?
They'd go, what is going on over there?
What's happening?
Is he just dancing with food?
I don't know.
I don't know what's going on anymore.
I just know that Diddy did nothing wrong
What if that was what I did like when the Netflix thing came out like I just became a Diddy truther and
Like my whole I my whole persona became dedicated to freeing Diddy
Like my entire persona just became dedicated to freeing Diddy. Like my entire persona just became dedicated
to freeing Sean Puff Daddy P Diddy Combs.
I don't know what to say.
I feel bad, they say Justin Bieber's very upset.
I'm not gonna read the indictment.
It's funny in the indictment how it's like
Sean Combs aka Puff Daddy aka P Diddy aka Diddy like
Yeah, well, it's basically they're saying like what you know, there's a lot of technicalities and they want to be like no all of that
Who's ever referencing you they mean you?
you know, I don't know what he was involved in it sounds like he was doing some type of
Epstein-esque behavior.
And he was blackmailing people.
And if that's the case, depending on how high level the people he was blackmailing
are, they might get to him.
Somebody might blow up his pager, blow up his phone.
I didn't even know that could happen. I didn't even know that could happen.
I didn't even know it could happen.
Every day you wake up to something completely new.
That's why you have to, you go to bring the boom.
You go to boom or doom.
Because you can't even, you can't even, it's not even real and life's not real anymore.
So you're just like, what? They're like Israel's blowing up people's pagers in the grocery store and you go
We bring the boom
That's what we do. We have to where where are you gonna go? Where are you gonna go anymore?
Life's a real reality is not even close to being real
She got to bring the boom and then you go just crazy family. They're bringing the boom and the doom
They're eating cookies
You know, I don't know. I
Guess that's better than watching a guy's cell phone kill him on a moped
Double truck
I do it pretty good Israel blew up my double chalk chocolate cookie. The IDF
uninated 200. They put a microscopic bomb in my double chalk chocolate cookie.
TimDillonComedy.com for any of the live engagements if you want to buy a ticket.
Do you have another pod before October 1st?
Yes, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
October 1st, this is your country, the trailer.
Should we play it on the show?
No.
No.
Go watch it.
Go bring the boom.
Good night.