The Tim Dillon Show - 412 - The Joker & Kamala Harris

Episode Date: October 12, 2024

Tim talks about his role in a blockbuster disaster, Vice President Harris, the Menendez brothers, Vermont, shopping during a hurricane and what is in P. Diddy’s suitcase. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://www.timdilloncomedy.com/ SPONSORS: Nutrafol Head to Nutrafol.com/men & Use Promo Code TIM. Blue Chew BlueChew.com & Use Code: ‘TIM’ Ship Station Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/timdillon Kalshi $20 bonus for the first 500 people who join with code ‘Tim’ and deposit $100. Kalshi.com/tim  Morgan & Morgan For more information go to forthepeople.com/tim ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. A little disappointed at the people in the Apple store in the World Trade Center who refused and kind of very disrespectfully refused to allow me to jump the line with a cracked phone screen after I told them that my phone was damaged in October 7th. And I had requested to not wait behind a line of confused Asian people because again,

my phone was damaged in October 7th, trying to save the people there. So, and well, it doesn't matter why I waited a year to get it fixed, it doesn't matter. But I'm getting it fixed And my phone was damaged in october 7th when I was saving people in israel

With uh governor tim walsh and we were there At the nova music festival I mean when I was on set at at Joker, it's rare that you know how bad something's gonna be. And I would talk with the other actors and we'd go, we don't get it. Because you'd sit there and then every now and then you would see Joaquin Phoenix, who's one of the greatest actors of our time, singing or doing like jazz hands and you'd go, I, man, I don't know how this is gonna, I don't know how this is gonna play. And, but you go, don't question the guy. He's a legend, the filmmaker, whatever that means anymore, whatever anything means, by the way, no offense to anyone.

I love everyone. And I'm grateful. That's the thing about me. I'm grateful. A lot of people aren't grateful in this business, but I'm grateful. I'm grateful you watched, This Is Your Country. We were in the top 10 for two days.

Hey, watch it again. Get us back in that. Thank you. But I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the opportunity to spend three months sitting in a trailer in makeup while my face broke out and I had, you know, probably irreversible damage to my skin. I'm grateful to have sat in a trailer for three months and been a small part of probably the worst film ever made. Arguably the worst film ever on a screen.

Where people are walking out of this film. I saw it in Laguna Beach. I was in California with COVID, and I went to go see it. And that's how you should see it, if you can see it with COVID. And I was watching it, and people were walking out of the theater, confused, befuddled angry why why did you do this?

The reason the first one was so good is that it captured kind of the nihilism and anger rising in the culture Whether it was or wasn't a ripoff of taxi driver is not important at this point it doesn't matter okay and I'm not taking cheap shots here people think I am I'm not I'm actually talking about life what was good about the first one is such a mess, such a joyless slog, whatever else they called it.

You know, I mean, I don't even want to go through, I don't even want to read the reviews. I posted them on my Instagram. The most common word being associated with this film is disaster. Lady Gaga is not a good actress and I say it as she's a colleague of mine and I'm gonna say it I'm sorry my fans expect me to be honest now I'm going to be honest now and this may damage me in the business. I might not be in the second to worst film. I was in the worst film ever made so CIA may damage me in the business. I might not be in the second to worst film. I was in the worst film ever made.

So the CIA may call me and go, don't you want to be in the second worst film ever made? We got a great idea. Todd Phillips is making October 7th the musical. You want to do a line in that? That makes more sense. At least there was music at October 7th. There's more of a link. You see how that works,

buddy? You also overpaid for your home. Here's the point. Doesn't matter. I'm grateful. The thing about me is I've always been grateful. I'm a grateful person and this is what people don't understand about me. They see me out and they see me beaming and they go, you seem like you're full of gratitude. And I say, well, I said well, I am actually I am I am It was a blessing to be in this movie Lady Gaga has no business being on a movie screen by the way The muse it's all Chapel Rome now none of its Gaga She's the new gay trans icon so what she endorsed Trump

She's the new gay trans icon. So what she endorsed Trump? I'm kidding. She didn't, but she refused to endorse Kamala because she thought she was going to make like a nuanced point about politics. Hey, baby cakes, that's what I do. Get on stage and dress like a frog and sing. Going to make a nuanced point about politics? You're 12.

The hell do you know? You a servant, didn't she work at Wendy's? And now she's a musician? Your fans want Mamala. Serve them what they want, which is Mamala. Baby, you're in the hive. Oh, you don't, you're trying to find a nuanced take on the Middle East I'm a pink pony girl and I'm voting for Trump. Oh, baby I'd respect that Every single day Venezuelans stealing phones and things are getting gray

single day Venezuelans stealing phones and things are getting gray But Gaga's irrelevant the woman is irrelevant and I think she's very talented in the music end of the thing That's her game She's irrelevant now, okay Stars born we get it. When was that long time time ago. Yeah. Right? At least 10 years. Yeah. I'm on the deep end. I ruined a movie. Everyone loses money. Six years ago. Six, yeah, whatever. Six years is an eternity now. So they got her in this, ruining it. They got Joaquin who's doing, you know, he's a brilliant actor, but he's, you know, they got him trying to be Fred Astaire. It's a big mistake. And on set, I would turn to my friend Jimmy, who was one of the guards,

and I'd go, what is happening? And he'd go, this is not going to be good. And we'd have great lunches every day because it's a $300 million budget. The lunches were where. I mean, we all went into this thinking this was going to be great because we got there, we showed up, we'd never I'd never done a film like this. I did Thanksgiving. You know, they lobbed off my head. Great. Now we got to this. I'm on the universe a lot.

Even though it's a Warner Brothers movie, they've rented a bunch of lots on the universe a lot. They have recreated the Arkham Asylum. I Am sitting there. We have a lot of different prison guards were all talking to each other We are having Lunches we have a pasta bar. We have lobster tails. We have fish Tuna salmon being grilled and served to us for the first few days. The lunches went downhill as the thing continued. They got cheaper. The craft service table was amazing. Okay. We're looking at Joaquin. Gaga's not there.

We're looking at Joaquin. We're going,'re in it We're in Joker 2. This is legendary Okay The worst thing anyone has ever seen I mean ever ever ever Every time it looked like something may kind of be good happen They would start with that shit like you know for once in my life I have someone who needs me someone who needs me and they're doing the dance and I'm like God what is this it's it was heinous to use a word. I use way too much and

I we we knew it I Had a nice little scene Was quick. In fact, I missed my scene. I was talking I Was texting on the phone about how bad this movie is. There you go. Show the people I Was texting on the phone about how atrocious the film is. I missed my scene. I didn't even see it and I just walked out and looked in the beach.

It was that bad. And, but it's changed my life in many ways, you know, being in the worst film ever made, being in the death of a popular, what it franchise technically, it's the biggest Hollywood bomb of the year. That's not nothing. That's not nothing. Timmy boy is in the biggest Hollywood bomb of the year. Let's be honest, that is not nothing. A lot of people fail quietly. This is a massive, big budget blowout failure,

and I am involved and I'm proud of that. Here's how bad this film is. I cannot show this to anyone ever. I can never say I was in a movie and then show it to someone. That's how bad it is. If I said I was in a movie and I showed this to someone years from now, they would go, are you pranking me? When I put this on. And you heard Lady Gaga be like, I'm the Joker. There's always a Joker in the pack. There's always a Joker. It's like what the fuck is going on?

Who did this? Who's this? Who's the studio? Wasn't it Universal? I don't know. No, it was not. Oh, it's Warner Brothers because it's a comic book movie. DC Comics, so... I'm kidding, it's a good movie. I'm actually joking. I'm doing a bit right now. Warner Bros.

I'm doing a bit. That's how good I am as a comedian. It's good. If you need a movie to have a plot, you're a loser. Truly. If you need a film to have a plot you're a loser. Truly. If you need a film to have a plot you're a fucking loser. And if you don't like musicals you're this you're you hate gay people and you hate women and you hate trans people and you probably hate black people because they're very musical and you hate you are in the KKK. You don't like this mr. KKK there's always a joker in the pack I don't understand how this happened but I'll tell you it's one word hubris hubris I had a lot of suggestions on that set and nobody listened to me because I was an

unimportant nobody but you know what sometimes you listen to the nobody. I said immediately fire Lady Gaga, fire her, fire her right now. You're paying her a lot of money and what I'm seeing ain't working, get her out of here, get her out of here. I said that at the pasta truck a lot of times, get her out of here I would say. Get her out of here, the red sauce. Get her out of here, the red sauce. Get her out of here. She's not working, get her out. Cut her mic!

I would yell, they wouldn't hear me. I'd say it, I'd say, cut her mic! Mm. What do I care? What am I gonna, you know? What do I care? This whole thing is fake. This whole thing is fake. This whole business I'm in is a pretend business. Do you understand that? Anyone listening out there in your minivan with your kids going to fucking, I don't know,

what is it the thing that people go, the escape room or I don't know, what do you go to with the kids? Rock climbing? Not with kids, right? What do you, what's the thing where you jump in the foam pit? Like Chuck E. Cheese or Dave and Busters? Whatever it is, whatever the hell you're doing out there,

I'll tell you this, the business I'm in is fake. It's not real, 300 million in this horse shit is on the screen, it's a month of my life. Do you know that when my agents called me to put me in this they told me it was gonna be a big deal for me? Oh it's gonna be a big deal, it's gonna open up doors for you. It's gonna open up doors. The only door it opened up is the door in the Laguna Beach movie theater where everybody walked the fuck out! That's the door it opened up. And people, I was hiding, a few people, I don't get recognized all the time, but every now and then somebody will recognize me

I was hiding like Diddy in that theater trying to get out Somebody went Tim Dillon you were in that you were good and I went it was terrible They went it was terrible and I just ran to my car. I ran quickly walked. The point is This is gonna be a big deal for you you're in Joker 2 everyone gets on the call when you have an agency you have seven or eight people that will call you when something good happens and none of them have names and none of them should have names they're all Josh's and Jonah's and Jacob's and none of them are actually a person it's just you know the gremlin when you get

them wet and they all just they all become and they're all on the phone peopleLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLE And you go, okay, hi, hi. And you're always desperate when they call you're like, hi, is everything okay? Is everything okay? And they're like, we have such good news. They're like, hi, hi, hi, hi, Tim. I don't know if we've ever spoken, but I just wanna call and say that we're really excited to bring you this news. You're gonna be in Joker 2.

And then everyone's like, oh my god, it's such a big deal. It's such a big, it's gonna be big. And then you're like, I'm in Joker 2. I'm in Jo- wow, wow, wow. Fast forward two years later, worst thing ever been made, worst film ever made. And by the way, I'm not being hyperbolic. That's literally a discussion right now is whether this is the worst. Imagine had I had that insight on the call with all these people had I said, but wait

a minute, is there a possibility this could be the worst movie ever made? It earned the worst cinema score of all time for a comic book studio movie Can you imagine that? Can you imagine the real call? Hey Tim, what's up? It's Jacob Josh Justin and Jonah We are super excited to tell you that you're about to be in the worst film ever made It's fucking amazing first of all that you're about to be in the worst film ever made. It's fucking amazing. First of all, you're gonna go to the universal lot at 6.30, 6.45 in the morning every day. Okay, they're gonna put you in some weird ill-fitting prison guard suit that somehow makes you look fatter.

And then you're gonna sit there for two months and do nothing. You'll work for two hours of those two months. There will be scenes where you're just sitting and they'll walk, walk in by. And there's going to be a lot of smoke and cameras and everything like that. And you won't be invited to the premiere. You're not going to have anything to do with it. You know, you'll have one scene where you're not giving lines.

You'll be yelled at a lot. I don't mind being yelled at. It didn't matter. I was probably fucking it up. And the scene at the end was good and funny. But at the end of this, Tim, two years from now, you were going to be part of, get ready for this, the worst film ever made, the biggest bomb ever, the worst movie ever made. And I would have said, thank you. And by the way, you're so desperate in the business all the time. You go, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Even if they had said it just like that, even if they'd said it,

even if they'd said you're going to be in the worst film ever made, I would have went, thank you guys for believing in me and working to make this happen. I really, guys, thank you so much. It's going to be the worst. Yeah. People walk out. Yeah. I'm so in. I'm still at thank you. And I appreciate it because maybe it'll be the third worst, right? They're like, yeah could be the third worst. I'm like that'll be good Well, you know

The Menendez brothers by the way are what's going on with them? They're trying to get out and go to a dinner party at Whitney Cummings house. Yeah, Kim Kardashian The Menendez brothers which by the way the stuff, I get it, but I don't know. Now I'm just going to light fire to the whole business, by the way, for the next three months. I'm going to get it to a point where like, I'm going to have my manager is going to call me and go, Hey, so we actually called Ryan Murphy's people to talk to you. And they just sent us a clip back of you shooting on everything. I did love Dahmer and I like American Horror Story. I don't know if I love this Menendez thing

The real Menendez brothers are mad because this one has them fucking and supposedly they didn't fuck So they're all pissed right? They're all angry artistic liberties with the sure well Ryan Murphy's trying to make it hot He wants to make it hot. He wants to make it hot. Can we watch Kamala on 60 Minutes? Because she makes me happy. Yes. I really, here's the thing. She'll probably lose, but she makes me happy. I like seeing her. It's the joy you have when your best friend who doesn't have their homework gets called on. It's the look at that thing.

I don't, can you go back to her face, please? In the beginning, I don't want to lose that fit because it is the face. Your friend confides in you. They did nothing. They go, bro, I did not. I didn't open the book. Cause this was me in school., I didn't open the book. Because this was me in school, like I didn't open the book. And then they'd call me and they'd be like, Mr. Dillon, what do you think?

And I'd go, I'm trying to create an opportunity economy. I'd say shit kind of like her. She still won't study, like she's running for president. She still won't really even, which is what I like about it. If she was like really trying, I'd find it disturbing. The fact that she's kind of half-assing it on the biggest stage, there is no bigger stage, by the way. There's no larger stage. She couldn't care less. She's kind of half-assing it on the largest stage and it makes, I want to hang out with her. I want to have drinks with her. I think she'd be a fun person. Because

a few years from now she's just going to be somebody fun in California who's like, you're going to see her in the Palisades and you'd be like, she's going to be like, remember when I was trying to make me president? And we're all going to laugh about it. That's what it should be like. And I feel like sadly that's because there's so much hot under the collar anger at her, which I understand people are angry and she's, you know. But we can't forget that this is essentially just a person who had no idea any of this was going to happen. I mean, she's a careerist for sure.

She did put herself in these positions, but even she is shocked at this. Even she is shocked at this. She is no idea, never thought that it was going to happen the way that it happened as quickly as it did. And she refuses to study. She will not open the book. My parents used to go, not my parents, my grandparents, let's be book. My parents used to go, not my parents, my grandparents, let's be honest, my parents didn't care, but my grandparents would go, my grandmother would go, are you gonna open the book? I haven't seen you open the book. The test is on Monday. I have not seen you open the book. Okay, that is this energy. Let's hear her, Kamala Harris. I plan is about saying that when you invest in small businesses, you invest in

the middle class, that's correct. And you strengthen America's economy. Small businesses are part of the backbone of America's economy. But pardon me, Madam Vice President. By the way, let's just stop for a minute. This small business thing is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. This this did not none of them care about anyone with a small business. First of all, there's like four. Where are these small business?

I wish there were more of them. And I hope the ones that are there thrive. So don't come at me and say, what do you not care? I always care. I hate how corporate everything is. But like, what is the small businesses now are like, you know, Diddy had one and you threw him in jail. But that's what's left. The small business is like math. It's it's trafficking people. All the people running the people through the smuggling into Venezuelans. That's a small bit like There you know, you don't get to choose which small businesses you like

and which ones you don't like. Because there's a lot of small businesses in this country that are just not that marketable, but they're there. Lot of small businesses that she might not love. You might not love, but that's a small business. I used to buy drugs from my friend's mother when I was a child. Small business, you know? This idea that there's like tons of thriving. It's like the same people

took about small towns and I've talked about this before but like these ideas these small towns, ooh these small little little suburbs are so quaint and cute and Everybody thinks of these Gilmore girl suburbs go to them go to them How cute are they go to the quaint small towns everyone's talking about by the way are they nice? Or the small towns it is like seven or eight small towns in America That are cute and quaint and nice and a house is 18 million dollars by the way Okay, the rest of them there are roving bands of children ready to kill you cute and quaint and nice and a house is 18 million dollars by the way okay the rest of them there are roving bands of children ready to kill you who there are

people living in abandoned malls in these small towns that must be where all these small businesses are that she's talking about I'm all for small business by the way and I think we should have a lot more small businesses well we got a lot of problems here in this country that need to be solved before the people, the small business will tell you that we got a lot of problems. A lot of things are not going well. We're going to give the tax credits to the small business. You know, these small towns, these quaint little towns, people are ice skating.

It's not, it's a movie from 1998 Go to the town Go to the town Okay It is not what you think it is Drives through any of these small towns that are so quaint and cute and oh it's america Oh, it's a fourth of july parade. Is it? Oh is it is that what it is? Is that what it is?

Because I don't see that I see a fucking Shifty eyed pedophile running by the school. I see a gang Of migrants get ready to steal someone's phone. I see a bunch of young 14 year old kids You know who are trying to film you know, I don't know a death so Just so Where are these quaint cute? Take a couple goes on a date in one of these towns both of them get raped So what are we talking about with the?

Again, let's let's see her again. No one's open the book. Nobody's open the book Madam vice president the question was, how are you going to pay for it? And here's what's great. Here's what's great. And this is the other reason I like her. She doesn't care what the question is. It doesn't.

She doesn't care what the question is at all. It doesn't matter because she's not going to be the president. She has to tell him that. She has to tell him that. She has to tell these people that before she has to go, shh, come here, come here. I know I'm just, I want to let you know I'm not actually going to be the president. They told me that. That's what she has to do with all these interviews before they start.

No, she's got to tell, she's got to go, listen, listen. I've no, no, no. They told me I'm not really going to be the president. So don't, don too hard on me and don't don't get worried or nervous if I don't know when one of the answers because I'm not going to do this for a living that's that's no no no I'll show up to like the 9-11 memorial and I'll go to like some I don't know I don't know what will I don't even know what they even do anymore because Biden's refused to leave the White House, which I kind of like, by the way, I kind of like that he's holed up in there and not doing some garbage. They don't even want these people around.

By the way, all of these bakeries in like Pittsburgh, all these candidates are trying to stop into, nobody wants it anymore. These pancake shops, Tim Walsh got a pancake somewhere and everybody's on Facebook Live, Facebook going, I'm not going, I'm done. I'm done with this establishment. I'm done with this shit. I'm not eating that slop anymore.

You serve Tim Walsh. It's gotten so divisive that people can't even get fat without having a problem in this country. I'm not getting, I'm not killing myself there anymore. You had Tim Walsh, like, so they don't even want him. They don't want him. If I owned a company, a business, a small business, I don't want him. Let me sell my fucking muffin ball pudding pops or whatever. Let me sell it Let me sell my Asian dessert in the shade where the color would it cone is shaped like a fish whatever happened to that I wanted that three years. I mean you can't even find it more. Don't look it up. I don't really need it. The point is I

Was something it was ube that My point is, it was something, it was Ube that, my point is this, you, you, you, there's data, nobody wants, I wouldn't want them. I gotta have JD Vance, I'm trying to, I got, let me serve my tater tot buffalo nachos, please. My ranch tots, let me serve my buffalo ranch tots to the people that are buying them with government vouchers and not get it weighed into this nonsense. All these people are doing, these are the

small businesses by the way, are trying to serve deep fried New Balance sneakers to people and they're being interrupted by the politicians coming in and trying to do the abortion or something. We're all we just trying have pancakes, stop doing the late term. They're doing the late term in the diner. I'm trying to have an omelet, stop doing late term. Todd Phillips, there he goes. Okay, so this, this is what they want apparently. That's this idiot. That's what they want.

More of mamala. Well, one of the things I'm going to make sure that the richest among us who can afford it, pay their fair share in taxes. Stop it. Now you're talking to me, you, you vixen. Now what is, uh, this guy is so unamused with her. I love this guy. He's like, what is this? Keep going. Right?

That teachers and nurses and firefighters are paying a higher tax rate than billionaires and the biggest corporations. And I plan on making that fair. But we're dealing with the real world here. But the real world includes- How are you going to get this through Congress? You know, when you talk quietly with a lot of folks in Congress, they know exactly what I'm talking about.

It's called blackmail. No, it's called blackmail. They're all pedophiles and we have tapes of them having sex with children. Next question. It's called blackmail. It's blackmail. We have... What do you think Diddy's been doing?

What do you think Epstein's been doing? What do you think all these people have been doing? It's blackmail. They're all on drugs. They're all cheating on their wife. We have tapes of these people. So when I come to them with a plan that's not even a plan and just balloons national debt to hand out money to, you know, fucking real estate developers so they can build condos with floating bathtubs in Tribeca and all this other horse shit and build new vineyards and crap and we call it the economic new economy opportunity investment horizon America program and no one knows what the hell it is but we just stuff all of our friends pockets filled with money if anyone

stops that we're going to show them a tape of them having sex with a passed out 16 year old at last year's Halloween party. Any other questions? I'm not really going to be the president. Let's finish up with her. No exactly what I'm talking about. Their constituents are those firefighters and teachers and nurses. The Glock question is great too. Do you have that one? Yes. Yeah. and teachers and nurses. The Glock question is great too. Do you have that one?

Yes, yeah. Here you go. I recently surprised people when you said that you are a gun owner, and then if someone came into your house. That was not the first time I've talked about it. That's not the first time I've talked about it. So what kind of guns you own and when and why did you get it?

I have a Glock, and I've had it for quite some time. And this is like, by the way, this is like when John Kerry went, who amongst us doesn't like NASCAR? When they're like, you probably don't like NASCAR is like who amongst us does not like this one? He would got like a Philly cheese taking he asked for like Swiss cheese. It just it when she said, I have a Glock.

I have a Glock. I have a Glock, I have a Glock. Look, Bill, my background is in law enforcement. And so there you go. Have you ever fired it? Yes. Of course I have. At a shooting range? Yes, of course I have.

Nutri-Full is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over 1 million people. See thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in three to six months with Nutri-Full. Thinning hair is different for men and for women. So a one size fits all approach to hair growth doesn't cut it. Nutri-Full has multiple formulas for men and women that are tailored to different life

stages such as postpartum or menopause, and lifestyle factors, such as a plant-based lifestyle. So if you can just, you can just get what you need. Physician formulated with 100% drug-free ingredients, Nutri-Full supports healthy hair growth from within by targeting key root causes of thinning, stress, hormones, aging, nutrition, lifestyle, and metabolism through whole body health. While many supplements rely on ingredient studies,

Neutrophil clinically test final formulations to ensure their accuracy. In a clinical study, 72% of men saw more scalp coverage after taking Neutrophil men's hair growth supplement for six months and 86% of women saw improved hair growth after taking Neutrophil woman hair growth supplement for six months. Get results you can run your fingers through. For limited time, Neutrophil is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutriful.com and enter the promo code T I M. Find out why over 4,500 healthcare professionals and stylists recommend Nutriful for healthier hair. Nutriful.com spelled N U T R A F O L dot com promo code T I M. That's Nutriful.com promo code T-I-M. That's neutrophil.com promo code T-I-M.

BlueChu is an online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, but at a fraction of the cost in a chewable form. The process is simple. Sign up at bluechu.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days.

BlueChu tablets are made in the USA and prepared and shipped directly to your door. The best part, it's all done online. That means no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. You can take them anytime day or night. You can plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises. I'm telling you, whether you think you need it or not, there's nothing wrong with having Blue Chew on deck. You're going to love it. Your partner is going to love it. You could be missing out on the best sex of your life with BlueChu. Men everywhere are excited

to see the postman because when your package has arrived, your package has arrived. That joke never gets old. BlueChu wants you to have the confidence to perform your best, so discover your options at BlueChu.com. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try BlueChu free when you use our promo code TIM at checkout, just pay $5 shipping. That's Bluetooth.com promo code TIM to receive your first month free. Visit Bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast. Vermont town preemptively shuts down road to keep influencers from taking fall pictures. This is so important right now. By the way, I was just downtown at the 9-11 Memorial

and just the behavior down there is unreal because you have people that, can we just please honor the gravity of the event a little bit? I understand you wanna take a photo with your boyfriend. You're in for a couple of days from Santa Fe I know it's exciting, but just keep it down a little bit People go up to Vermont

Because of the foliage stunning One of our friends lives in Vermont who shot the woman on the movie One of our friends lives in Vermont who shot the woman on the movie. So there's that. You go there for that reason. And then also for the foliage. This is if you've killed someone accidentally or the foliage, manslaughter or foliage. Locals say the influencer era has brought a different kind of tourist to the area. One that does not mind blocking traffic or getting into residence driveways

to get that perfect shot. But you know what, Vermont? Here's the deal. Here's the deal. I know that you don't like this. I understand that. I understand that these people are soulless and they're ruining your town, but guess what? This is what it is. You know, I know it's bothering you.

But by the way, do you know where people aren't taking photos? Gary, Indiana. You know? Like, I know that you don't like influencers, and you find it to be soulless, and you don't like the way that they jam up the road, or whatever your pro-whatever your white Vermont problem is. Your non-problem. But it's a few months out of the year, White Vermont problem is your non problem

But it's a few months out of the year and it probably pumps money into the local fucking economy What else do you got going on up there? I know it's annoying people pulling your driveway. I don't know shoot him Shoot him if it's annoying people pulling you driveway. I don't know shoot him Shoot him If it's a problem, I was on a plane the other day this woman flight attendant. This is a real story We're on a plane. We get it. We get a deal. We're on a jet. We got a really good deal By the way, I hope everyone's okay with Milton in Florida

Okay, And you know, by the way, they had to say during, listen to this, they had to tell people in Florida that during Milton, which again, we're taping this what day? Tuesday. Should we put it out today or should we wait? Let's wait. It's let's wait because every time we put it out early,

it always fucks us, right? Yeah, well, so I hope Milton has not fucked anyone, Let's wait. Let's wait because every time we put it out early, it always fucks us. Right? Yeah. Well, so I hope Milton has not fucked anyone, but preparing for Milton, one of the FEMA guys or some Florida guy, I don't know who it is. I don't care. They come out and then go, the eating at the shelter will not be sit down. It's on my story.

If you go to my Instagram story, they literally say there's not going to be sit down. It's on my story. If you go to my Instagram story, they literally say there's not going to be sit down food at the shelter. This is a category four hurricane. They have to say, they go, listen, there's going to be shelters. They will withstand the wind, but there's not going to be sit down eating. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen in my life. Oh, is this it? Go back. Yeah, okay, not this guy. Play this.

Don't leave, go to the shelter, it's fine. It's fine, the people in Florida are going, listen, you don't have to leave. You go right to the shelter and it's actually going to be fun. It's going to be kind of a fun community. Yeah. That's right. Then there'll be shelters in Applebee's,

and Steak and Shake, and Chili's, and Outback, a lot of different shelters. If you get to a shelter, Yeah. There will be fluid water there. Sounds good. It will not be, it will not be sit down eating. What?

In shelf stable mills. Wait! Be warned the type of material are No, I be sit down eating. What? We'll shelf stable meals. Wait! Do you want the type of material? No! I want sit down! No, we want sit down eating! He has to come out and tell the people of Florida. He has to go, listen, I want to let you know it's a shelter.

I know you're walking in expecting bread service. And then an appetizer, an entree, dessert. I get it. I know what you want. I know what you want. We're not doing it. It's not sit down eating. Can you imagine people walking in to a table for three, please? Yeah. Table for three. Our house was just destroyed. It was not going to be sit down eating. It's not like we're not going throw out garlic bread to you people. It's gonna be like, you know, here's a protein bar,

go sit in a corner, try not to die. It's not gonna be sit down eating. It's not Thanksgiving, it's a natural disaster. Hey, it's a natural disaster. I know that you're, I think everything fucking has to be about food. We're not gonna sit down. It's not gonna be the feast of the seven fishes. It's a category four hurricane. Sorry.

Can you imagine that guy in the shelter? It might be me. You would not sit down? I'd be pissed. So there's no sit down food here. I stand like some water rat in the corner and nibble on something. Can't we sit down? There's no waiters. like some water rat in the corner and nibble on something. Can't we sit down? There's no waiters. There's no waiter. Where's the maître d? When's this supposed to hit this Milton?

Wednesday night to Thursday morning. I hope everyone's okay in Milton and evacuate. My friends down there, few of them are, A and B zones are evacuated and they're in the C zone. They're going to the C zone. I don't know if that's enough, but not everyone can leave. Here's the problem. Not everyone can leave. They've run out of fuel. The Tampa Bay Bucks are out. The people that needed to get out are out. Okay? But then there's others. But the people that needed to, you know, the teams are out, the people that, you know, people that need to get out are out.

Let's call this bait a spade. Our web guy's in Tampa. Our what? The web guy's in Tampa. Oh, is our web guy in Tampa who fucks up everything all the time? I hope he's found floating. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding, web guy. Is he a fan? Yes. Good Ha ha ha ha ha I'm kidding Joker's a good movie. It's a good film Joker. I'm the Joker He's fucking these insult kids they come like, alright, give me some more. I'm the Joker! I'm the Joker! They need this type of entertainment, these fucking guys. And you take it from them, and you replace it with fucking like, cabaret. It's, you know. I'm the Joker! Don't you'm the Joker.

Don't you like the Joker? Our friend Diddy, friend of the show, so we're on this plane, I gotta get back to this. We're on this jet. We got a really good deal on it, needed to go somewhere. The woman comes over and said, I worked with P. Diddy. And she tells us that he, this is the jet. Now I worked with P. Diddy and she tells us that he This is the jet now I did a joke I said this is Diddy's jet It was not Diddy's jet, but he has the same jet. It's a black g-55

Diddy she tells me that she was cleaning out his jet one day. There was a suitcase Okay, she lifts it up. It starts dripping. I'm not kidding. Listen to this. This is hot off the presses, by the way. And I did, it was a little unprofessional for her to dime on him like this. Truly. It's not right. You charter a plane you expect, you know what I mean? A little integrity, you know? If you can't trust your jet charter people, who can you trust? That's why I booked with Titan Aviation. Titan Aviation, call Dirk.

So this woman goes, she goes, I picked up this guy's suitcase, Diddy's one of his bags. It's dripping with, she opens it up and it's just lube and poppers and I forget she said something else I don't think it was dildos, but it was baby oil. It was all baby oil and black poppers and dirty towels and that was the Suitcase and I said to her I go he was the black Epstein. She goes absolutely

She was like he was always nice to me, you know, they always try to get get ahead of it He was always nice to me. I go well, let's let him out then but she said that he was as Creepy and she was on a few of the flights and again, this was was told to me and I in confidence and I'm repeating it here for money and I She was like don't in confidence and I'm repeating it here for money. And I, she was like, don't say anything. I'm like, listen, honey, there is no chance.

That I would say anything about this. I said, you would, I am a vault. You tell me anything. I said, it will not leave my, she's like, you promise? I go, absolutely, scouts honor. She said once she was on a plane and he went into the back of the plane and like shut the door and she was just like, okay.

And she with a few people and she just went into the front. She chartered him a few times and she said it was sketch. Sketch, sketch, you know. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? It's just so funny when she's like, she's like, yeah, I flew Tim Dillon. He complained about the charcuterie platter and said, for what I'm paying, did you get this at Ralph's?

You know, it's gonna be a lot, but she's only got nice things to say about him. She's like, Diddy was lovely. Tim Dillon's a piece of shit He said the charcuterie platter was bought at a grocery store. I go, but it was But it was but it was Actors portraying Melendez brothers Menendez brothers say men who killed their parents are inspiring. This is why actor should never be allowed to speak actors at their core are incredibly stupid ghosts.

They don't exist. They should not be. You should not entertain them like they exist. They should only be seen as the role that they're playing. I have had lunch with actors. I have spoken to them. There is nothing there. There is very rarely is there something there

I had one of them tell me being an authentic person makes me a worse actor. I said I agree They are they are there there is there is pointless to engage with on a human level as any archetype of person ever And this is why you never allow them to speak. And by the way, they used to, they would just shut up. This is one like the old system kind of work when there were publicists and managers and everybody would go shut up, shut up. When Chappell Rhone would go make a point, he's like, well, that's actually what about the Palestine, sing, sing the thing, hot to go, H-O-T-T, not P-A-L-S-E-T, no, H-O-T-T. But they, that would now, they don't listen.

The inmates are running the asylum, so her agent manager and everybody, they just, they just wake up every day going, what does this bitch do? And she's on Instagram Live trying to make a nuanced point about the Middle East. Play these tards. We went to this gymnasium where we sat around with 30 or so incarcerated individuals who all shared their stories. And it was very emotional and inspiring. And actually something really interesting,

they all said that they came from dysfunctional families, which I found to be really, really interesting and devastating. This is how dumb they are. This is how dumb they are. Of course they did. Of course they came from dysfunctional families. We found that really interesting and devastating.

So interesting and devastating. Yeah, I got to meet both of them and just tell them I believe them and I support them and I did everything I could to portray them authentically. Did your impression of them change in any way after meeting them and having these conversations? In fact, it made my beliefs about them stronger. They're so kind, they're such amazing people.

They've done so much good in prison. They just graduated from UC Irvine. They are doing this green space project. As I said, Eric teaches meditation and speech classes. They're very involved in and they're really wonderful people. Oh, they are. What they do their parents shot shot them to death in their bed in the living room. And they and this is because supposedly they

were being molested by the parents? Yes. Interesting. Do we believe that? It's kind of, they might have told a cousin way back when, but then it was all sort of dredged up after the murders. Like, there was no record of it before. Is the Ryan Murphy thing worth watching? Yeah, it's pretty good. Okay. It gets better?

Yes. I only watched it for a few minutes. I was too busy watching. There's always a joker in the pack. They're very inspiring. They're inspiring people and I love them. And they shot their parents in the face, but they're inspiring.

They graduated from UC Irvine. So who cares? Can you imagine that? Can you imagine that? You're like, I shot my parents. However, have you heard of UC Irvine? It's not even a good school. It's not even like a school that matters. If their parents were molesting them, I don't feel bad that they shot their parents.

Obviously. But I don't know if their parents were molesting them. I don't know. I lack the information. So I can't really get out there and start You know Regardless of the dad was they they shot the mom to right don't shoot the mom, but maybe she knew about it I'm I don't have the info all I'll say is I'm creating an opportunity economy That's what I say now when someone someone asked me something and I have no idea I go I'm like people like what's gonna go on with Israel and Iran ago. I'm creating an opportunity economy I don't know all of our devices every device I go, I'm like, people like, what's going to go on with Israel and Iran? I go, I'm creating an opportunity economy. I don't know.

All of our devices, every device we use is getting smarter and more connected. The world keeps getting smarter. Your e-commerce business should too. Whether you're looking for an incredible efficiency on your business, I'm telling you right now, ShipStation is the way to do it. It helps take all of your e-commerce businesses to the next step. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiently with a robust all-in-one order fulfillment system that integrates with over 180

of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, carriers. I mean, they work with everybody. UPS, DHL Express, USPS, it's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your consumers. The engine of your business is going to be lead generation, sales, marketing, the development of the product, all that stuff. You don't want to worry about the back office. Let ShipStation handle it.

They seamlessly integrate everything. They keep track of things. They have automated things. They boost efficiency. They bring the cost down. They allow you to focus on the parts of your business that need to be focused on. Deliver a better customer experience with industry leading features that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels and make customer service a complete breeze. Over 130,000 companies

have grown their e-commerce businesses with ShipStation. 98% of the companies that stick with ShipStation for a year become customers for life. Go to ShipStation.com and use code TIMDILLON to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's ShipStation.com code TIMDILLON. Kalshi is the first and largest legal prediction market that lets you trade on pretty much anything. You can trade on your knowledge to make money or hedge a real-world risk with the markets that Kalshi offers. Kalshi has hundreds of markets you can trade on such as whether inflation will go up or interest rates will go up, who will win at the Oscars,

what the weather will be tomorrow, what the US mass scores will, whether they'll decline this year and more. So this is really great. It's a way to bet on anything and everything. You can create markets, you can bet on existing markets. It's really amazing. We'll diddy bait the case.

What date will the American empire crumble? Will my Netflix special overtake Love is Blind? Don't bet on that one. Certainly will not. Love is Blind is a machine. Make sure they are not whatever. But the point is this. These are markets.

You create your own market and basically you can bet on things and everybody bets and everybody has fun. It's the first legal exchange in the US to trade on these kinds of events. They plan on listing markets to trade on the elections in the next few weeks, which would make them the first legal exchange in the US where you can trade on the elections. So check them out using the link callshe.com

kalshi.com slash tim. We got a lot of people in our audience that want to win. That's callshee.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com're America's largest personal injury law firm. They have a thousand lawyers a hundred offices They've recovered over 20 billion dollars for over 500,000 clients Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation Did did you injure yourself with someone else in someone else's Halloween thing? Call Morgan and Morgan and get them. It's important to make sure that you are taken care of. Okay? I'm telling you, you know, they won an 8.2 million dollar case against a Florida IHOP woman wins three million dollar settlement over hot coffee

burn. She deserves it. She was scolded by coffee at an IHOP in Florida, nonetheless. They come in, they swoop in, they help her out. It's a win, win, win, win. They only collect if you win. Hello? If you're ever injured, you could check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win.

For more information, go to forthepeople.com slash Tim or dial pound law, pound 529 from your cell phone. That's F-O-R the people.com slash Tim or pound law, pound 529 from your cell phone that's for the people.com slash Tim or pound law pound 529 from your cell this is a paid advertisement Barry Weiss asked me to go open up this thing she's doing she's doing this Matt Tatey be Brett Stevens debate with a few other people at Symphony Space Wednesday night and I'm she wants me to do 10 or 12 minutes of stand-up or something and in front of this the audience is always suck, but I usually do it. I did one in LA that was actually kind of fun.

I do like Barry, so I am going to go. And I told her I would do it for free because she asked me on October 7th. She's like, I can't afford you. And it's like, that's true, but I will do it for free. And the audience is usually suck. And but it may, it will be fun. You know, it'll be a fun thing to, you know. And all of these people mad about the FEMA money

that they're not getting the FEMA money, listen, all the money that you give to our government, you're not getting any of it back. You're not getting any of it back. Get the GoFundMe's ready. Get the GoFundMe's ready right now. For context about all the FEMA stuff, I saw Alejandro Mayorkas this afternoon at Sid Mashburn,

which is the second time I've seen him there on a Saturday afternoon in about a month. So if I say the guy isn't working around the clock, what is this? He's buying, like, outfits? He's buying, like, capsules. Well, he's got to look good. He's the head of FEMA, right?

He's got to look good. He's trying to look good at FEMA. It's a big job. In the middle of the hurricane? Yeah, you want to look good in the middle of FEMA, right? He's gotta look good. He's trying to look good at FEMA. It's a big job. In the middle of the hurricane? Yeah, you wanna look good in the middle of the hurricane. You're not saving anybody. Who do you wanna hear you're gonna die from? Some guy who looks like shit?

Or that guy? You know? Who do you wanna hear we are no longer responding to emergency calls from? Some guy who looks like a slob? Or this guy in a nice tailored golf shirt and khakis going he's getting ready for the hurricane he's buying clothes for the hurricane by the way all of this is show business this is all just show business so he's just getting

his his costume ready he's in wardrobe right now he's getting ready to go he's getting ready to go he this is when he's having his moments. Like Fauci with the pandemic, he's having his moment. So anybody who's criticizing him, he waits for this. He goes, let me go get some new clothes, some new golf shirts, some new khakis. I want to come out strong. He's got the new balance. He's going, he'll have his little walkie talkie. You know, they'll dress him up nice and they'll put him out because this is show business. And he's the one that they're, he's who they have chosen to tell you that he's going to

be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the

one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going to be the one that's going out because this is show business and he's the one that they're, he's who they have chosen to tell you that it's not going to work. It's not happening. It's not going to, you gotta, you gotta figure it out. My grandmother lost her house during hurricane Sandy and it took two years to rebuild it. It's terrible and horrible. And I hope that, I hope this thing does not make landfall as a five.

I hope that it makes landfall as something far less than that. Maybe a two. I mean, obviously it'd be great if it just went away, but that doesn't seem to be what's happening. What is the latest news on Mil- it doesn't really matter. This will come out Saturday. It doesn't really matter. Florida's gone.

This comes out, Florida's completely gone. Florida's done. It'll seem very heartless. I did watch this documentary about October 7th and not good. It's very, you know, it is tragic. Obviously it's not great what's going on in Gaza. Nothing's great, you know?

Nothing's good. The one I saw was called The Killing Roads, but there are many of them. Yeah, it was it was it was depressing. It was depressing. Yeah, I mean, it's a tough listen. This is all of this stuff. What's going on right now?

These ancient blood feuds that are manifesting in death all around us and the threat of more escalated war. All of these things are incredibly negative. And I am, this is, see what, this is, I'm so good at this. This is the art of the non-statement. It's so good. Listen to what I'm doing here. Many of you can do this too.

It's not hard. It's not hard. Listen to what I'm doing here. It's very important. This is the art of the non-statement. I'm saying nothing beautifully. Listen, listen closely. So much of what's happening right now, this is, I'm telling you, this is beautiful. Even as I say it, I go, God, I'm good. Listen to me closely. Key in. Key in. Ready? Because you're going to say that. You're going to bump it. It's going to be holiday soon, Thanksgiving, Christmas. You're going to have to use this. Ready? Because you're gonna say that. You're gonna bump it. It's gonna be holiday soon, Thanksgiving, Christmas. You're gonna have to use this. Ready? So much of what's happening right now, the hatred, the violence, the paranoia, is feeding off each other. And it's just becoming bigger and bigger and harder to contain. And it's not rational. It's actually not rational.

It's not rational, it's illogical. The deep-seated hatred and fear, it's fear-based, it's fear, and you can even see the people, like is it working when you look at them? As you're talking, look at them and go, is this working? Go, it's fear. You can feel it out a little, go, it's fear based, irrational behavior.

But it's true, it's ancient and it's a tale as old as, that's a good one. That's a good one if you can bring that one out. You go, it's a tale as old as that's a good one. That's a good one. If you can bring that one out, you go to tail as old as time. Even if you just do get the lyrics up from beauty and the beast. If you do it slow, if the middle East comes up, if if you do the lyrics of beauty and the beast, very slow, the song, you might be able to get away with it.

Ready? Ready? I mean, somebody comes and asks me a question, October 7th. The anniversary of October 7th. It's a tale as old as time, and it's true as it can be. I mean, they're barely even friends, and then somebody bends, unexpectedly. Just a little change, a little small to say the least, because they're both a little scared.

Neither one prepared. Beauty and the Beast. It's just the same. It's always a surprise, but it's also ever as before. It's ever just as sure as the Sun will rise tail as old as time Tune as old as song. It's bittersweet and strange finding you can change How about someone learning they were wrong?

It's as certain as the Sun rising in the East tail as old as time song as old as rhyme beauty in the beast That's that's as good as you can get, in terms of just, right? I mean, you can't get better than that. If you memorize the lyrics to Beauty and the Beast, if this comes up and you were at a holiday, just do it. It's as good as you can get. You're not going to get better than that as a way to get out. And here's the thing, leave out Beauty and the Beast because at the end of the stanza that will give you away. That will give you away and and people will look at you strangely.

But if you leave out Beauty and the Beast and just kind of hit those themes, someone later on might ask you, they might go, was that the thing you said about October 7th, was that the lyrics to Beauty and the Beast? And you go, no, it wasn't. And just actually look a little miffed, like look a little pissed off, go, no, it actually wasn't. It's actually my thoughts and feelings about the Middle East conflict. And just again, dead eyed look at them. And they go, it's kind of sounded, you know, or you could do this. How about this, ready? You're gonna like this.

I'm telling you, because these are all the, you know, they all work, which is why maybe Disney knew this was gonna happen. Disney knew this was gonna happen. And they, that's why they put so many Disney songs so many Disney songs are now perfectly suited to just talk about the Israeli situation because many people do not have the finer points of the argument down. I do, Kamala does, but most people don't. So what you're going to have to do basically is

try to figure out, I was trying to get this up on my phone so that it would be somewhat shocking, but of course there's no internet connection, this dump of a fucking building we pay too much for. Are you having internet issues? No, it's on the mobile devices. It's sometimes shocking, but of course there's no internet connection, this dump of a fucking building we pay too much for. Are you having internet issues? No, it's on the mobile devices. It's sometimes an issue. I know. It's like crazy. It's like nothing works and then you can't complain about anything because then like people look at you like you've done something wrong when you say, hey, you know the thing

we pay for? None of it's happening. Can it happen? How about that? Would that be okay if perhaps the thing we pay for could work? And they go, yeah, no, you know, we don't think so. They go, we have to, someone's not in today who handles that.

All right, get up a whole new world from Aladdin, because it also works, by the way. A whole new world from Aladdin. That's what I was thinking, yeah. Yeah, it also works. I'm telling you, just get it up. Say something about Iran. Iran, what its country?

Well, listen, here's the thing about the Middle East. I could show you, I could show you the world. Shining, shimmering, splendid. I mean tell me when did you last let your heart decide? This is a harder one to sell. I could take you wonder by wonder on a magic carpet ride. It's a bit racist. Stick with, stick with the beauty and the beast. This one doesn't work as well as I thought. Stick with beauty and the beast if it comes up. But it is so important.

It's so important to just be ready, ready, watch. Throw it at me, I go. I'm like boom, boom, boom. Jedi mind reader, boom. Or by the way, there's also the two word one is great. Ready, say something I could I could I'm great at two-word ones too. Dude. Just bring it up. Be like Israel Iran Middle East Gaza out of control Out of control that's a good one

Out of control not cool not cool. That's my dad's. I don't want to take his. His is not cool. My father's is not cool. My stepmother said once, she goes, her daughter's name, I don't know what's her name, but she goes, she goes, blanks choir teachers at dark web pedophile. My father goes, not good. And he just kept eating meatballs.

Not good. He's not good or not cool. He's like, not good. He said that about the Middle East recently. He goes, I had my grandmother's funeral. They were talking about the Middle East. He goes, not good. Not good.

And then he'll say nothing. He'll go, nothing good. Not good. Because what are you going to do? What are you going to do? You're a Long Island boomer. You're 70. What is he supposed to do?

What is he supposed to do? Start talking about the Balfour Declaration. Let him say not good. You know what I mean? Well, what is he supposed to do? What is he supposed to do? Start talking about the Balfour Declaration. Like, let him say not good. You know what I mean? Like, well, what is he supposed to do? I'm getting a little tired, by the way, that like everything, by the way, it's like, everything has become like,

you're supposed to have some dumb, ill-informed, spit-take opinion on everything and it's supposed to be imbued with passion and you have to really... I'm over it. I'm over it. I'm over that economy of nonsense. You know? I'm not into it anymore. These are fucking real problems. And I, for one, am trying to create an opportunity economy. I'm trying to lower taxes on a middle class. That's what I say.

I'll just say what she says. I kind of like it. If it comes up, people go, can you believe? I go, I'm trying to lower taxes on the middle class because that small business is the backbone of our economy. It doesn't matter what happened. You can just say that. You gave me chlamydia.

Small businesses are the backbone of our economy. I have AIDS. Small businesses are the backbone of our economy. I'm trying to create an opportunity economy. Dad hit me again. He's trying to create an opportunity economy. We all are in this house. Keep your mouths shut. This is your country on Netflix. Please watch it. It's very very funny. We tried to create a, recreate a trash 90s daytime talk show which we did. I love all the people that are like, it's fake.

Do you realize if it was fake what it would have been? Like if these people were scripted, what I would have done, I would have been like, my father and mother met on October set. Like, do you realize what I would have done and how much better it would have been? You know? My father, my father is Hamas, he invaded the festival

and my mother was dancing and they fell in love. Like it would have been. Oh, the January 6th affair. Oh yeah. It would have been, we, we tried to find people. My husband said he was cheating on me. Oh no, sorry. My husband said he was at January 6th, but he was also, but he was just cheating on me.

That was one of Ray Kumps. Cause we had these perfect things where we're like, can we find something near that? You know, but then we were just like, crypto, you found them. Fatty Boombaddy found scummy kids arguing about bullshit. But like, our dream ones were, my sugar daddy's gonna cut off my ozapic and I'm afraid of what I'll eat. My husband said he was at January 6th,

but he was actually just cheating on me. These were the dream ones. And if there's more of these happening, then maybe we could go out and find those. Watch this please it's very enjoyable timdillancommedy.com live dates if you care about them Orlando the good people of Orlando I'll see you Pickering Casino in Ontario Rivers Rivers, Displanes, Illinois. November 2nd, we've added a second show, The Good People of Chicago, Never Let Me Down, a lot of them are great fans of comedy.

It's my favorite place to do comedy in Chicago, and Displanes is not that far away, or it is. I don't know if it is or not, it doesn't matter. We have a car. Miami, Austin, Comedy Mothership sold that, maybe we'll add there. Oxnard, Leaveney Live, who's gonna cancel that? Probably me.

I'm kidding, buy tickets or don't, we'll just quietly remove it, I'm kidding. It's Oxnard, it's a dump. Omaha, Nebraska. Good luck everyone, thank you so much. Go See Joker 2, it is truly one of the great, Thank you so much. Go see Joker 2. It is truly one of the great You know

Phenomenal films of our time. I am I am I'm grateful to have been a part of something that is as widely reviled as this film Consensus is difficult in this world in which no they think about this think about what a blessing consensus is think about what a blessing that is we never get it we almost never get it it's actually one of the only cultural currencies we have left for everyone to agree it's so rare this movie is so equally rev... the people who say nice things about it are just immediately

ratioed and then they just go jump off their buildings right? Like Lena Morgana the woman that Lady Gaga had to sacrifice and kill to have a career. I'm kidding I'm just having fun. Folks if I can't have fun who can? But the point is this we did that on Letterman's podcast, it was on Annie's podcast, but what I'm saying is that consensus is so rare and so valuable in our society, the fact that everybody is lining up on one side of the issue and on one side of the issue, that's why you can't have a politician walk into a diner now because the minute that Tim Walz puts a french fry in his mouth, it's pandemonium's a hellscape everybody is mad at you and you're just trying to sling chili this

is beautiful this movie brought us all back together no matter who you're voting for Donald Trump Kamala Harris whatever whoever Jill Stein no matter who you're voting for know this no matter which side of Barry Weiss's free press debates you're on. We all agree that the movie Joker 2 is the biggest piece of shit any of us have ever seen. It is the biggest waste of time, money, and talent in a long time. It is an unmitigated failure, a disaster, a zero. The bottom of the earth opened and swallowed this up. It should end everyone's career that's in it, including mine. It is as bad as you get.

But what's beautiful about it is we all fucking agree what a piece of shit this is. And that, my friends, is the only thing we've got left. Something we can hate together. We can hate it together. We can hate it together. The old, the young, the gay, the straight, the black, the white, the migrant, the citizen. Everyone can agree that Joker 2 is the biggest piece of shit anyone has ever seen.

Good night!