The Tim Dillon Show - 415 - Pizza Hut & Birkin Bags
Episode Date: November 2, 2024Tim talks figures, Pizza Hut helping you find a job, a woman’s purse choice, Sydney Sweeney, the former Abercrombie CEO, Jimmy Carter outside and why Fresno kids have no shot. American Royalty Tour... 🎟 https://punchup.live/TimDillon SPONSORS: Ibotta Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app to start earning cash back and use code TIM. Thats I B O T T A in the Google Play or App Store and use code TIM PrizePicks Download The App & Use Code ‘TIM’ and get $50 instantly when you play $5 Hims Go to Hims.com/TIM for your personalized ED treatment options. Kalshi $20 bonus for the first 500 people who join with code ‘Tim’ and deposit $100. Kalshi.com/tim Send The Vote Go to sendthevote.org/tim, and they’ll help you sign up, register, and check if you’re all set. You can also text TIM to 33022 ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show.
Drug overdoses are down nationally
and officials are wondering what's working.
People cannot afford drugs.
It's actually terrible.
This is actually an indication of how terrible
the economy is.
People cannot afford the quantities
of drugs needed to overdose.
They have fallen.
Overdose deaths have fallen for six months straight.
Turn me down a little bit.
I'm in my, I'm a little out in my headphones.
Okay.
Turn me up a little.
Find a balance.
Perfect.
I'll tell you right now, this is not a good indication of the economy.
A good economy, people have enough money to buy enough fentanyl to check out.
If you are sitting there and you can barely OD,
if you can barely check out because you've got nothing,
coast to coast major US cities are seeing measurable drops
in drug overdose deaths.
Public health officials welcome the news despite an inability to fully explain
the decrease. Nobody has any money. Drug overdose deaths fell 12.7%. This is the
largest recorded reduction in overdose death.
It's because people don't have any money.
They don't have any disposable income.
They're strapped. They're shot. They're fucked.
If I was running for president right now, I would say my main goal is to get people enough money to overdose in this country.
The way they were. Enough money to die on the street the way they were when things were good.
This photo of me and my godson is being shared around social media and it's
actually beautiful. This is me and my godson after I bought him a... what is that?
A Kalashnikov?
Kalashnikov.
Is that what it is?
Yep, you got it.
Yeah.
I'm always correct.
That is Yaya Sinwar, that is actually not me.
Yaya Sinwar, who has died, is the war over?
Is the war over now?
Does the war end? Does the war end? Will the war end? Can the war end?
Can it end? Will it end?
What's going on with Iran? I think maybe that's the next phase of the war is Iran
Iran says it's planning to hold first joint military drills with Saudis in the Red Sea.
Riyadh has not confirmed it will join the exercises.
Saudis are not going to help Iran.
That's not going to work, Iran.
Go to Russia, go to China.
The Saudis are not gonna help.
I don't know what is going to happen.
Saudis and Iran have long been rivals in the region who have long backed opposing sides in conflict zones.
Severed diplomatic ties in 2016,
however Shiite Muslim dominated Iran and Sunni majority.
Saudi Arabia resumed relations last year
under a surprise China broker deal.
Another example of China
playing a constructive role in world affairs.
China everybody.
All we hear is how bad China is going to kill everybody and China is making peace deals.
Whereas we either don't have an interest or can't.
China is out there building schools in Africa and getting these people to go.
I'm sure China has their negatives.
We all have our negatives, don't we? Don't we all have our negatives?
Don't the best people have a
dark side?
China has a dark side. China has a dark side.
But it doesn't matter when you see them do something good. When China does something good, we should say good for you China.
Thank you China. Thank you, China. Thank you, China.
We shouldn't always be focusing on the internment camps
they put those Uyghurs in or whatever.
That's always negative.
I don't like that.
It's like when your friend marries a girl
and you bring up that she was a big whore or something.
It's like, enough, people change and grow.
I think they're still in those internment camps.
I don't really know.
It's not my business.
Pizza Hut offers to print resumes on boxes and deliver to employers. I like this.
We know Pizza Hut. We love Pizza Hut. We're not going to play the video we made about Pizza Hut
because we were almost sued by the good people at Yum! Brands. But Pizza Hut aims to support your job search with the launch of res Z
aims a pizza box that doubles as a resume now if you want bleaker news than
this I cannot help you this is the bleakest article of all the articles we
have articles about airstrikes burning people alive
We have articles about couples killing each other
You have articles about all the things they're doing in Florida and yet nothing
Nothing is as bleak as this article where Pizza Hut is trying to help people get work
Okay, listen to this.
Today, Pizza Hut is launching res-iames.
Resumes.
Wait, it's like a pun, like res-a-mes.
Res-a-mes.
Oh, okay.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Resumes.
Yeah, I was like, what is that?
Okay, res, but they're not spelling it.
Okay, gotcha.
I, I, okay.
There's no way anyone participating in this program is pronouncing it correctly.
They're all pronouncing it like I am.
Today Pizza Hut is launching Resumes, a new offering aimed to help professionals stand
out in today's competitive job market by delivering their resumes to prospective employers in a way that is sure to turn heads
via Pizza Hut's iconic pizza boxes.
75% of resumes are never read.
But an office pizza is hard to ignore.
Amid the time of year coined September surge,
where there is a notable increase in job opportunities
across industries at the start of quarter four. Pizza is
leveraging what it does best to deliver hot ready to eat pizza to help job
seekers grab the attention of employers and deliciously differentiate themselves
in a crowded job market. Can you imagine if this is your Hail Mary? Can you imagine
if this is it? Can you? Let me tell you how bad it is. You have a chair, you have
a rope, and the rope is already tied bad it is. You have a chair, you have a rope and
the rope is already tied to the beam. You have tested the beam and you know it can hold
your weight. You are sitting there and you are saying fuck it. One last shot. One last
Hail Mary to land a fucking job. I'm going to send a greasy, disgusting Pizza Hut pizza with my hot resume in it.
The resume is going to come out hot, smelling like garlic, probably smudged, like the ink
is going to be all smudged, okay?
This is the bleakest thing I maybe have ever read on the show, and all I've done for the
last eight years is read the bleakest, worst news, you know, throw the baby in a
volcano, whatever else everyone's doing out there.
Resumes allows job applicants in the toughest job market, New York City, to stand out like
never before.
I mean, can you imagine this?
This piping hot resume will be almost impossible to ignore.
We know finding a job can be daunting,
especially during this key hiring season.
So we wanted to lend a hand to our job seeking customers.
So Pizza Hut is struggling so much as a brand.
That this is how bad they are doing, by the way.
This should not be over, you know,
like we cannot overstate how terrible Pizza Hut is doing.
That this crack scheme, okay, to
deliver resumes to companies by combining Pizza Hut's iconic pizza boxes
with job seekers resumes, we're hoping to help resumes trump up the same
excitement as office pizza and help applicants make... First of all, do you
even get a pizza? Here, let's find out. Do you even get a goddamn,
cause by the way, if you delivered something
that wasn't a pizza with a resume in it,
I mean, I would, that's like you would go insane.
And now they're out of it.
We just clicked on it and they're out of it.
Oh man.
No, so they must've been selling,
I'll check on X
Can you imagine we got John's name in a pizza box five years ago and now he's the CFO of this company
John delivered his resume to us in a pizza box right before hanging himself
He was standing on the chair when we called him. I mean, this
is the worst. I've never heard of a worse idea. Oh yeah. It came with a pizza. Yep.
There you go. Here you go. Can you imagine someone chewing when they call you and tell
you they're not interested by the way, someone who caught like they're chewing and they go,
by the way, uh, we're they're chewing and they go by the way
we're not really looking for anyone at this time but thank you for the pizza
you dunce. Thanks for the pizza you loser you complete zero. Thanks for this hot
delicious pizza we do not need you. We're not interested at this time. We're not in the market for you, scum.
But thanks for this pizza.
Who pays for the pizza?
The unemployed loser?
Yeah.
So the unemployed loser has to pay for the pizza
given to the corporation that doesn't want him.
So you're bribing a corporation
by sending them a pizza they don't even want you.
You're not even going to hear. You're just going to send pizzas all around New York and
no one's even going to, it's never going to work.
This doesn't work.
This is not a movie.
This is like that movie when Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, you know, Pretty Woman,
oh, the hooker is so clean cut and sweet and the business guy, it doesn't work.
This is like a 90s movie.
It's an early 2000s rom-com where you deliver a pizza
and you get a job.
That's not what happens.
Some fat secretary's gonna eat the pizza.
Your resume's going in the trash.
This isn't it.
Stop thinking like everything's this whimsical way
it's gonna happen.
It's not a whimsical thing, this world.
When I grew up, everybody believed everything was whimsy and whimsical.
I'm gonna propose, I'm gonna put the ring in the cake and my girlfriend's gonna notice
it, she's gonna take a bite of the cake.
It's whimsical, it's imprinted on our minds because we've watched so many movies
Where we go, you know what? I just need to do something unique and fun and silly to make me stand out
It's not a bad job market. I'm just not creative enough
What if I sent him a griddle with my resume as the wrapping around it, then I'd get a job
That's not the way it works.
That's not going to help you.
You have to figure out something.
I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news here.
You're going to have to figure out something else.
You're not going to fast food trick your way
into employment.
Sorry.
Sorry, sending a box of raising canes
over to the local bank and maybe they need a teller is not gonna work. Sorry guys. I
I spelled my name in french fries.
I would like to meet the one and who is this if this by the way if this has worked for one person I
Will give you a thousand dollars
If this has what if you can prove to me Tim Dylan, I don't even know what's the email
Are we just gonna get spam emails if we give the email out? Yeah, we should
Well, we could I mean, it's I don't I yeah, but it's just there's gonna be a thousand email
Like if you can prove this works
I'll give you a thousand dollars, and I'll interview you on the show
But it's not it's not gonna ever work if this has worked for one person
I'll give you one thousand dollars if you can prove that sending a pizza with your resume on it got you the job
I will give you a thousand dollars
Where should they hit us up?
TD show ops.
Is that okay?
TD show ops at Gmail.
TDSHOWOPS at Gmail.
But don't waste our time.
I know you're gonna send a bunch of shit.
That's fine, I don't care.
But if you want a thousand dollars, you have to prove this worked for you.
Thousand dollars. This is not any type of, we're going to investigate.
Now you might not even want us to because you might not want the company to know you
listen to this show depending on where you work. I don't know.
But we are going to investigate with pizza, with the company, with you.
And if this works and everyone's proud of it
I give you a thousand you will get a thousand
Dollars
But this is not worked. Why is everyone hating on this? Yeah. Yeah, sin wars wife's got a 32,000 dollar Birkin bag
I think it's nice. Shout a Burke
She's got a nice Burke. Is that the ostrich?
Birkins go way up by the way. 32 is not even the highest end.
You know, there are Birkin bags for 80, 90.
Rare Birkins can go up.
32 is a mid-level Birkin.
If that, yeah, maybe entry level.
Entry level is probably about 19 or 20, but 32 is a mid-level Birkin. If that, yeah, maybe entry level. Entry level's probably about 19 or 20, but 32 is not,
I mean, it looks very much like a basic black Birkin
in the Hamas tunnel.
I'm not super impressed, but by the way,
why shouldn't, here's a great question, by the way,
here's a moral question.
Why shouldn't
This woman have a Birkin
Why shouldn't a terrorist have a Birkin well, she's a terror okay, she's got a Birkin
What do you want her to have?
What it what is she
Right What is she? Toy Bridge? Right.
But what is the point here?
What is that?
Like I don't understand this.
Is this the terrorists are being irresponsible with their money narrative that Israel keeps
trying to get everybody going on?
Well, do you know how much the sweets of the Qatar four seasons cost?
I don't know.
Aren't what?
I don't understand. Wait, I Don't understand wait, this is why I'm I wait a minute. Hold on
In their terrorists rates it Hamas a terrorist group. That's all point now whether you agree with their aims or not
whatever
Their whole thing is like they they try to get stuff going
That's that's what they try to do. Come on. I'm not saying it's good. Follow me here. Follow me. They're trying
to get stuff going. Hamas. That's a you know that's a it's a very that's a it's
a way to say it. Is it the best way to say it? They're trying to get stuff going.
Where are they gonna stay? Where they gonna to stay? Where are they going to stay?
They're not paragons of morality.
They're going to have to burk.
They're going to get a burk in.
Do you know how much she must nag
this man about living in the
going in and out of the tunnel?
And how hard it is?
This woman
was living in the four seas
but think about this because it's about the family. She's living in the four-seed, but think about this because it's about the family.
She's living in the four-seeds as a guitar. She probably doesn't know they're going to do this
whole thing. She might. She might. She's like Carmela Soprano. She doesn't know. She doesn't know.
She just wants to get a shore house. She just wants to get a shore house.
Okay. I watched that episode of Whitecaps. God, I love the Sopranos.
a shore house. Okay? I watched that episode of White Caps. God, I love the Sopranos.
So this woman, I don't know her name, but what's her name? Do we know her name? I love people's names. Names matter. They just call her the wife. I know. They're not huge on the rights over there for these
ladies. Okay, so the wife. The wife, the all ball and chain, is probably like we were in the four seasons.
I was waking up every day to fluffy eggs.
Now we're running around the tunnel.
They're gonna kill us.
We're gonna, you know?
You know what, what quiets her down is a Birkin
Honey don't worry about it. We have everything under control. Let me come come here
Look at the little take a little look at the gift
You heard a Birkin the bug like Kardashian. It's for you
That's my best sin war. I don't really know you know how to do. Yeah, yes and more
That's my best sin war. I don't really know you know how to do. Yeah, yes and more
But it's the city these are families like anyone else. Yes, of course people we disagree with the things that they do
But it's a family. She is needling him
You think it's easy to be the head of Hamas.
But it's not, I'm not, can I make a point? It's not your wife, the wife is not always on,
she's not always, her name is Samar Muhammad Abu Zamar.
She's probably not always on the same page with him
You have to give the women little trinkets and things. This is not new
This is not new
She's barking. She's angry. She's in the tunnel. There's no woman that's happy to in the tunnel
She's not thrilled in the tunnel. She's not thrilled in the tunnel.
I wouldn't be thrilled in the tunnel.
So she's in there with the Burke and you know, he said, take your bag in there.
Take your bag.
Cause when we win, cause he's got to pretend that's going to happen, even
though they're kind of outmatched.
When we win, I want you to remember the good things take your Birkin in the tunnel because when we win we're gonna come out in the Birkin and
then they go to heaven and get 7,000 Birkins or whatever I don't know what
he's telling her I don't know what their virgins virgins is women. Maybe it's Birkins the men get virgins they get Birkins
This is highly highly
Intellectual comedy I
Don't know all I'm saying is that I find it odd that I'm supposed to get angry at the financial
decisions that the people in Hamas make I
Don't understand that that I'm supposed to be angry that she's got a Birkin.
I don't get it.
Okay, I don't want to go through the whole doctrine of the Islam.
I appreciate it, but thank you.
I don't want to go through the whole the doctrine of the Islam. I appreciate it. But thank you
I I think
This woman has every right to have a Birkenbeck
In her life
It's not like
I understand what they're trying to say people are pointing this out and they're going well shouldn't they be instead of taking this money and getting her a
Birkin bag, shouldn't they be feeding the people? You could make that point about
anyone with a Birkin bag. That point could be made about literally anyone
with a Birkin bag. Literally anyone. Anyone, whether it's the real housewives of Hamas
or some bitch on Madison Avenue or in Beverly Hills
or in Aspen or wherever.
I don't think the biggest problem with Hamas
is that the guy's wife has a Birkin.
It's just an odd framing of an issue.
Can you believe she has a Birkin?
They stay at the Four Seasons.
I think it's a mid-level Birkin.
What is it, a Birkin 40?
Yeah.
32K.
Yeah, it's not the highest.
The ostrich Birkin is nicer.
I think the alligator Birkin.
That's fine.
But I'm just saying this new thing that we're all doing we're like we have to judge this the
spending of people to the Pete like
What do I you're gonna bomb him and kill him? So what does it matter what they have?
What does it matter what they have by the way? It's crazy. Do you know one of them a Rolex?
What is this map where
is this now going we're auditing Hamas well they don't spend the they're not
spending the money in the right way what do what is this what are we doing you
killed both aren't they all dead you killing everyone over there I just don't
understand it's like an odd. It's a very strange
Thing that like the last couple of days and weeks. I've seen like this
weird strange
Well, can you believe what they spend their money on over there? I what?
Wait, wait, what?
What wait, I don't understand. Oh, so that's why they're bad. What about the whole October
set? You had me sold that they weren't great with the whole what they did on October 7th.
It doesn't matter that they have a Birkin. It certainly doesn't matter that they have
a Birkin bag. That's not the issue. If you're going to say that they should be spending
their money and not
living in the lap of luxury and helping their people, you could make that case
against most leaders in the world, including people that live in this
country. You could easily make that case to a lot of people here. It's like this
thing they do. Remember they did this, who was the guy in Russia, Navalny?
Navalny made that, you know I've had friends say to me, I've had friends, these are smart
people.
The corruption, they say this, they say this with a straight face, they say it with a straight
face.
They go, we're having dinner, little dinner, I'm usually having a protein or salad, little
dinner. I'm usually having a protein or so, a little dinner.
A lot of them are doing other things.
And I go, listen, they go, the corruption in Russia is insane.
I go, do tell, do tell.
And they go, you gotta see, Navalny,
he did these YouTube videos about all of the houses
that all the government officials own.
I said, wow, that sounds crazy.
Get in the car.
Get in the car.
I'll leave the money for the bill.
Get in the car.
I'm Navalny, and we're going on a tour.
It's in the nuts.
So you're telling me Putin's cronies all have big houses?
Get in the car. Get in the car!
Get in the car! I'm gonna blow your mind!
I'm gonna blow your mind!
We have a lot of beautiful homes here.
And you're never gonna guess who owns them.
So what I mean to say is I'm not drawing them all
Oh, you're doing moral equivalency?
Is that what you're doing? You're doing moral equivalency
or you're saying that we're Hamas?
That's what you're saying? Do you know what
would happen to you if you lived in Gaza? Yeah, I'd be in Hamas and I'd be good at
it. No. No. Do you know what would happen to gay people in Gaza? Do you know what
happens to gay people? I don't. I don't go there. I'm sorry. Do you know what I mean?
I'm not saying Hamas is good or this is a good way to govern. I'm saying if you want to make this an argument about that they're irresponsible with the
funds, that to me does not seem to be the argument.
The argument is they committed an act of war and aggression against people.
That's the argument.
Say it ends there.
Now is the response proportionate?
I'm not exactly not exactly but
That's the argument. They committed an act of violent aggression and war. It's true
The argument is not this bitch has got a Birkin and this one's got a Rolex and this one's got a fucking Hermes scarf
That's not it. That's not it. The argument is not Putin's cronies have big has a Dasha and sochi. It's not the argument. It's not the argument
dummy dummies
You want to go to war with Russia great
There's probably lots of reasons in your head you can justify going to war with any country and make it up
I ran there's a big threat to America.
It's Iran.
This is a big thing.
We got to do something about Iran.
What?
What?
Russia is more of a threat than Iran and they're not a threat.
Iran says death to America all the time.
Everyone says death to everyone.
It doesn't matter.
What is Iran going to do?
Invade America?
Is that what you see happening?
Iran has just landed in Colorado.
The slopes are closed.
Like can we get serious here?
We have a dearth of serious people in the country.
Can anyone be serious for minutes?
I'm not asking for an hour, minutes.
She's got a Birkenbeck.
It's $32,000.
Shouldn't they have built a water treatment facility instead of living in luxury in Qatar? She's got a Birkin bag. It's $32,000.
Shouldn't they have built a water treatment facility instead of living in luxury and cont...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they should have done it in Flint, Michigan.
It's not the point.
Don't go down this road.
Boy, is that a bad road.
Boy, is that not the road, huh?
Not the road!
Well, Putin's friends have big houses because they get government contracts in it because it's corrupt and they have big houses
Okay, but the ten wealthiest counties in America are the ones clustered around DC, huh? Why is that?
We're different, okay, I
Get it. It's a better account.
We like it here better. I like it here better.
I don't want to live in Russia.
I don't want to live in Gaza.
You got me!
You got me intellectual giants
who would debate me?
You've won!
Correct. I do not want to live.
In fact, here's how much I don't like this country.
I don't want our military there. And I'm not want to live. In fact, here's how much I don't like this country. I don't want our military there, and I'm not even in it.
I'm not even in the military and I don't want them to go. Isn't that interesting how that works?
Just because I don't like it.
I don't like it so much. I don't want anyone going.
Getting people to get pumped up about Iran is hilarious.
It's like my favorite thing now is that it lies dormant in people, this need for like
this enemy and the war and everything.
And so apparently after what, we have a few months of overdose deaths being down, now
we need to go fight Iran?
Sydney Sweeney says her pursuit of fame likely caused her parents' divorce.
You and me both, sister!
The 27-year-old actress speaking with glamour as part of its Women of the Year, and by the
way, can we get rid of that?
A Woman of the Year 2024 coverage detailed the difficult time frame after her family
relocated from Washington to be closer to Southern California with her parents divorcing
and going through a bankruptcy filing in 2016.
I knew I could never actually fail because I mean on a very broad scale my family did
lose everything.
They did get a divorce.
Whether or not that was part of coming here, it definitely was a catalyst for it.
So I knew I had to succeed in some capacity so that it wasn't for nothing.
What?
I mean, what is happening?
She said they asked her questions such as when are you going to come home and stop dragging
your family to a hell ridden city?
Correct about that. When are you going to stop dragging your family to a hell-ridden city? Correct about that.
When are you gonna stop breaking your family apart and wasting all their money and just go get a real job and have a real life?
I don't understand. Isn't, wasn't she an adult when this happened?
Yeah.
So why are they following her to California?
Well, when she was really young, they were driving her like 38 hour round trips from
from the Washington, Idaho border
Why do I care about this? This is my problem. What what publication is this your favorite Daily Mail? I do like them
I don't get it. Listen
Sydney
Sydney I don't get it. Listen, Sydney, Sydney, let me speak directly to you.
I want you to hear this from me. I don't care about this.
No, I truly don't. I don't care about this.
I feel bad for your parents. And I don't think it's all you.
I truly don't.
I think there's other issues at play.
But more importantly, I don't believe your work
has risen to the level to justify their divorce.
At this point, I've enjoyed White Lotus,
I think you did a great job on Euphoria,
but it isn't the career that justifies
the implosion of your family as of yet.
So honey, from me to you you back to the drawing board couple more films. Let's grab some gold
Let's get an Oscar. Let's take it to the next level if you're gonna say your career
Caused your parents divorce. Let's get something really under the belt. Let's put a few awards under the belt. No
Keep going Sydney. You yourself can get a Birkin.
Shut the Birkin bag.
We got to get serious.
Traditions.
That's what the holidays are all about.
Let's start a new tradition
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Guys, it's time to do it.
You love it, you need it, it's for you.
Let's talk about this ad, Fitch CEO.
Many of you don't realize this. I was a model for Abercrombie and Fitch for many years and I don't talk about it because it is
something from my past that is very dark. I was, this is what happened. I'll tell
the story because you know I'll be vulnerable. I'll be vulnerable. I was
attending Nassau Community College. I was in a car with this guy named Kenny who was fat.
This guy Bunz who got amazing weed.
He didn't really talk.
He kind of giggled.
He had great weed.
We don't know what he did.
And this other kid that was an Indian guy, I forget his name.
And every day we would go to the mall and we would get high in the in the parking garage
And then we would walk through the food court and eat ranch one
chicken sandwiches or bourbon chicken
you know
hog and ass and
Can you can you get that up?
Can you please make that bigger this one? Yes, because that is a photo of me
That's a before-and-after photo of me by the way the left and then the right
Now I was walking through the mall and the Abercrombie and Fitch person noticed me as I was eating a ranch one chicken and cheese
And they said would you stand here naked outside the store?
And I said, why?
And they said, well, because we think
it would help sell the clothes.
And I did it, and I did it, and I was shot.
The police shot me, they showed up and shot me,
because it was a prank, I didn't realize.
What's going on now?
Everyone's mad at Abercrombie and Fitch
because they were sexed. I'm sorry.
I can't anymore. Do you realize everyone that we're just in a circle of stories? There's
nothing new. There's nothing new. It's sex companies, sex trafficking, celebrity sex trafficking, fucking, you know, the bitch
in Hamas has a Tiffany's brochon.
Like it's just, there's nothing new in the news.
Kamala does a town hall where they ask her, a three year old asks her questions and have
to be vetted first.
Like it's a circle.
There's nothing new here.
So what is this 80 year old, he's so happy.
Look how happy he is, he made it.
Look at how, by the way, look at how happy this man is.
That is not an argument for doing the right thing, is it?
Can you fill us in here?
What did he do?
He trafficked every, they-
So he was doing the casting couch, he was-
Yes, of course. Having parties under the pretense of that they were model castings and
Then they were having sex with them and they were young men. There's all power dynamic
Yes, abfetch
Wasn't there a documentary about Abercrombie and fish that kind of hinted at this but it didn't fully go into it?
Yeah, The Dark Side of Cool.
Can we play the trailer to The Dark Side of Cool?
Ab Fitch was like the cool brand in what, the early 2000s?
2005, yeah.
I never had a lot of Abercrombie and Fitch clothing but the cool kids did.
I got cool later on in high school. I was wearing
Jencos and that was you know part of the aesthetic. So let's watch the trailer
here to the dark side of cool Abercrombie and Fitch. I hope no one in
Hamas is wearing Abercrombie and Fitch. It's too expensive.
I was escorted to the front doors of the bedroom. Same.
When I entered that room, the door was closed behind me.
My feeling of being in that room was an animal.
I was not a human to any of these people.
I was a body.
I was being presented to someone to do what they wanted with.
Here's the thing, I'm not trying to defend Abercrombie and Fitch.
I'm not trying to defend Abercrombie and Fitch here.
But like, unless this is brutal rape, I don't care.
I'm gonna tell you right, if this is hot guys being mad
that they had to stand around their underwear, I don't care.
This has gotta be brutal rape, brutal rape.
This has gotta be Hamas tunnel rape, or I don't care.
I'm hoping it builds, because if it's just,
I felt like an object and I'm a little tired of hot people
not being happy with it, and then lashing out
at everyone else that they're being treated like object.
You're an object, that's what you are, an object.
I'm not saying that you have to be objectified,
do you, you don't have to.
Here's great ways to not be objectified.
Don't go outside. Don't get any of the benefits from being hot um but I'm just saying
like I am very upset if this is our word and it's not not or even sexual
assault the grabbing no good but if this is like one of these like I'm mad that people thought I was hot. I'm gonna lose my mind
this has to be
Hamas tunnel our word go
What happened to me changed my life what happened and not for the better
What happened?
Los Angeles, California.
I'm a journalist with the BBC.
I've been carrying out some research about these creative models.
Was you raped by Abercrombie and Finch? I'm from the BBC. Did anybody try to rate
you? Did you know the lady in Hamas has a Birkin? I don't have a Birkin. Hamas works
much harder than the BBC. Keep going, please. Man, the man behind one of the biggest fashion brands
in the world.
It's probably the darkest experience I've ever dealt with.
He was viewed as a form of genius.
The modern day founder of Abercrombie and Fitch,
Mike Jeffries.
The head of a very powerful, very wealthy organization. My investigation has taken me across the US.
By the time the men would have arrived, where were they going to go?
I mean, how easy could it have been to have left?
Speaking to men who say they were exploited and abused.
Yes? Are we rolling?
Take one.
I think he's a deviant. I think he's a predator.
And I don't think that's what the public has seen.
I was overwhelmed.
I mean, I've never seen anything like this.
What I'd like to talk about is being lied to, tricked,
and traded like a commodity.
Hey!
Me Too has empowered women to speak out about sexual abuse.
Come on, let's go!
Oh, no!
Swag like a girl! Now these men say they want to be heard too. I think it's rarely considered that men could be
a victim of anything. They face a double stigma and I don't think that men have quite had their
Me Too movement.
Me too movement.
All right, well hey listen, that's the epicron be done
Anyone being sexually assaulted raped exploited in any way is not ideal
And this gentleman here doesn't look doesn't seem innocent But he was arrested because they were doing very bad things right this was not good
This was Epstein like they were trafficking people. Yeah, but just parties all over the world.
Parties all over the world, trafficking people. Does no one under- I'm just asking a question.
And again, I'm just, let's say I'm the defense attorney. Do you not understand you're getting
on a plane, you're going somewhere like, do you not understand what's about to happen?
I guess not, because maybe you think you're modeling for Ab Fitch. Maybe they're just
not being honest with you. They're lying to you They're gonna come here to this model party and be a model and then you get there and you're like, it's actually an orgy
That's probably what's happening. Yeah, and that's wrong
That's not good here, let's read some of this article here
Where is he? Palm Beach?
Yeah. He posted $10 million bond too. Yeah.
Yeah, he walked out without a care in the world.
80 year old accuser is accused of wielding power wealth and influence to traffic mail models for sexual pleasure across
more than a decade while he ran the fashion powerhouse according to the US Attorney's Office for the Eastern District of New York.
I think we just get rid of fashion, to be honest.
Let's get enough of that.
Get rid of this modeling thing.
John Luke Brunel was Epstein's guy,
it was into the models, and it's all the models.
It's all the models are always getting,
you know who's not getting trafficked my friends
Who work at pizzerias and bars? They're not getting trafficked. Let's cut out the modeling. How about that?
Yeah, this is all very gross stuff that
Unfortunately people had to endure and we try not to make
light of it of course, even though we just did for several minutes and we'll continue
to throughout the rest of the episode and then also for the rest of the weeks, months
and years that I'm on the air.
But this is also a disclaimer to say that we don't agree with any of the behavior by
any of the people involved in Abercrombie and Fitch. The CEO, the CFO, or any of the handlers, the people who recruit.
I'm a little bored of it.
I'm not trying to shit on anyone here.
Every other week it's this.
Everyone's apparently trafficked.
I'm the only one in the country who hasn't been trafficked, by the way. Everyone's been trafficked. I'm the only one the country hasn't been trafficked by the way.
Everyone's been trafficked five times. And I'm a little bored.
And I'm not denying these men and their experiences.
And I'm not denying their justice.
I'm saying that it is, I feel like every week
I have to react to the same five stories.
And it's like a
documentary from some 90s show we all watch and it's like these kids were kept
in a cage they were fed like dogs and you're like god damn it
Clarissa explains it all well explain this explain the rape and I'm like what
can I can we please not ever you know boy meets world, boy meets rape.
And it's just, I'm just, I'm not, I'm upset.
I don't like it.
Put him in jail for a with a key.
I'm just saying as a broadcaster, it is the constant.
The constant here.
What about DXL, the fat store?
What about, are they trafficking anyone?
They're trafficking people. What about, get DXL up to fat store. What about are they trafficking anyone? They're trafficking people
What about you get DXL up to fat store go to DXL calm?
What if I was trafficked by DXL there it is get that up
They're getting trafficked who's trafficking them
The fit you deserve damn right what. What a sad logo, huh?
The Fit You Deserve.
What about them?
Are they not being trafficked?
Why don't we look into that?
We look into the DXL fat store trafficking.
I was brought into the back room.
I felt like an object.
I did see DJ Khaled once at Rochester Big and Tall
in Beverly Hills, which it closed out.
Rochester Big and Tall was the high-end DXL
and then they closed it down, they closed down.
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Election day is coming up on November 5th.
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There's a website, sendthevote.org slash Tim,
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California principal demoted after inappropriate dance at pep rally. Let's see this. Can we
get a video of this dance? Oh yeah. I don't think there are enough employees where we
have to keep firing everyone. We're losing ou
inappropriate dances, drug
with students. Mhm. Mhm.
view hat colony high scho
video sent to us by abc 30 at colony High School in on administrative leave M
sent to us by abc 30 insi
went viral. The video sho
Noons dancing with the sc
initially seated in a cha
dances in front of him. T
firing a confetti cannon
with the mask. Like he ca
who wants to be principal at that shit school?
Where is that school?
The Fresno area?
Yeah, it's a dump. No one wants to do that job. Of course he's a deviant.
I mean, who wants to do that?
So Fresno kids should see this?
Listen, I'm not saying Fresno kids... If you think Fresno kids haven't seen worse than this, you're out of your mind.
If you think Fresno kids have a shot on than this, you're out of your mind. If you think Fresno kids have a shot on this planet, you are out of your mind.
And I don't mean to be negative, but every one of those kids, it is a, it's going to be a nightmare
for all of those children, regardless of what the principal did. Fresno kids,
that principal lap dance where he fake comes with the cannon is going to be the high point of these people's lives.
It's going to get much worse.
Well, I mean, it's clearly inappropriate.
Is it inappropriate enough where he should not be allowed to be a principal of this failing
school?
I don't know.
That's the real question, right?
The real question is like, should he be allowed to get his job back and high school principal
in that order, he moves to lower position.
So it was a lower position.
So they just made him assistant principal instead.
So he's only he's the assistant principal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What are they going to do?
You know, who's now the principal?
The guy was the janitor.
They don't care.
It's Fresno.
His associate principal. Yeah.
Okay, this is like when Putin stepped down
and he brought in Medvedev, like, you know?
I mean, this isn't anything.
I'm Grey's Anatomy writer faked cancer
and multiple tragedies, good for her.
No problem with that. Elizabeth Finch. I
Don't care. I don't care at all that she lied. It's a corrupt business Hollywood and there's a lot of liars good for her. I
Don't care. She faked cancer
I mean that that there's a whole plot of a show with our friend Ryan Philippi and Megan Mullally and and really Vanessa Bear
Very funny.
I forget what it's called. It's about QVC. It's really, really good. And I saw it, but
I enjoyed it. And the whole point of it is somebody who fakes cancer to get a job at
a QVC. I love that for you. TV series. A lot of fun. I think it was one season. I don't think they're doing anything more.
But I tell you, I enjoyed it. I thought it was funny. I thought it was really, really, really... I may rewatch it.
I actually thought she's hilarious, by the way. I thought it was very funny.
And that's the whole premise of the show is that you fake cancer to get the job.
And then everybody found out. And I think it's very funny. And I like that it happens in real life.
I like that people lie about things like that. And like that they get ahead for it because guess what?
The people at Grey's Anatomy don't deserve better.
The executives at Grey's Anatomy do not deserve better.
Okay?
They don't deserve better than to be lied to by this bitch.
They don't deserve better than to be lied to by this bitch. My friend changed her name to Rodriguez to just get worked because she wanted to pretend she's Hispanic.
Not a Hispanic bone in her body. She just said, my name's Rodriguez now. You want to get woke? My name's Rodriguez.
And it kind of worked. So, whatever.
Gaddafi's grandson poses with his famous green book, but people are confused. He's a steampunk
Let's get this photo of a momar Gaddafi's grandson. I mean, oh boy
I mean, here's the thing you just can't you never know which way the kids are going
You just don't know which way the kids are going
You can do everything for your kids and it can turn out this way.
You know, thank God Ismael Henney's family was martyred because can you
imagine that leader of Hamas with a few years he's got the kids in a
Burning Man costume?
She's got a Birkin bag. They're not buying food for people, they're buying Birkin bags and they're staying in
nice hotels.
And do I look, how dumb do we all look?
They have houses on the beach.
They've given up on the citizens.
They're just trading amongst themselves.
They're building wealth amongst themselves,
and they've given up on the infrastructure of the country.
These people are uniquely evil.
They stay in nice hotels. they have Birkin bags.
And yet no one has healthcare or food.
Interesting.
They are different.
I don't know anymore.
Sidney Sweeney?
Enough.
I've had enough.
I'm so excited. People don't realize
part of the decline of the American empire, the decline of Hollywood and the inability
to craft a narrative and shape public opinion, the internet moves so quickly. And the inability
of Hollywood to act as the myth-making capital of America
is going to have a big effect going forward.
It's gonna be interesting.
It's one of the effects I think people really don't talk
about when they talk about the decline
of the traditional distribution methods,
film, TV, things like that.
Very tightly controlled distribution methods for the art
and content, whatever that we made. And a lot of that was incredibly instrumental with crafting the
narratives that people in this country believed about major events, war and peace, about economic
realities, all of that stuff. The inability to do that and the fact that it has now
been replaced by algorithms, by social media apps,
by DIY content that's uploaded millions of hours of it,
every hour and all that stuff.
And the inability to control it
is going to be one of the least talked about, but most important results of the decline
of the traditional power structures in Hollywood.
You're not gonna be able to as easily tell people
what to think about something.
That's gonna be interesting. There's going to be seven documentaries made on YouTube before you make this movie that no one watches about the thing
You're gonna make the movie that no one watches about said event
There's gonna be multiple document and I'm not saying goes the vera. I'm not claiming to know the veracity of those documentaries
It could all be crazy people. I don't know.
I'm just saying that that tightly controlled top down narrative sculpting
that Hollywood did since its inception has now and is completely in tatters.
People do not watch young people do not care. This is not where they're getting their information.
Look at across the board podcasts
have become incredibly influential
in terms of the dissemination of the information.
More people are being entertained on TikTok and YouTube
than going to movies.
It's not even close.
It's not even close.
A lot of people are getting information from alternate sources, so
You know Hollywood is not going to be it's not in that business anymore
So it's very interesting that that's one of the people don't really talk about that
People don't really discuss
That side of it because they don't really want to admit that that's been what's going on.
They don't want to say that. They don't want to be like, well, another interesting thing is how
are we going to lie to you people anymore? That's not what they want to say. But just zooming out,
you go, huh, that is kind of an interesting. Kamala mentions Jimmy Carter's public appearance
as why everyone can vote. VP Harris says if Jimmy Carter can vote, you can too mentions Jimmy Carter's public appearance as why everyone can vote.
VP Harris says if Jimmy Carter can vote, you can too.
Cuz Jimmy Carter's a very old man.
Now wait a minute, what is the video under her playing?
So this was the Jimmy Carter being wheeled out after his 100th birthday?
No, that's not Jimmy Carter.
No, here, I'll show you the full one.
It's really, it's kind of crazy.
You shouldn't be outside
Yeah, but what is that? What was the one under that was just some random? No, it was this is him
So this is Jimmy Carter. Okay a couple weeks ago. They wheeled him out in Georgia
It looks fine He's having a nice day.
He's voting?
Yeah.
He's voting.
That's right.
So their argument is that he's voting.
Someone's going to vote for him, no?, his grandson said that he was excited to vote
He said I'm I'm excited but more excited to vote for Kamala in November
He doesn't seem to be excited for much and I think that's a lie
I think his grandson's lying and I don't think he's excited to vote for much. Let's play this
So look if Jimmy Carter can vote early you can too to vote for much. Let's play this.
So look, if Jimmy Carter can vote early, you can too.
Oh my god, that's the demo right there for her. That old guy sitting there. I just, I don't understand, poor Jimmy Carter, I don't understand why he's enthusiastic about much.
He doesn't seem to be excited about much.
He seems to be, he slowed down a bit.
Can we say that?
He seems to have slowed down a bit, not his old self.
But I'm glad he's excited.
Let's go to the polls go to the polls
The election is near the election is near
Go to the RCP real clear politics averages. Let's see where everybody stands. It's election day in America
RCP read out the polls. Where are we?
Trump is ahead in every poll.
Whoa.
Yeah.
RCP Trump to 19 Harris to 15 toss ups.
One oh four three 12 to 26 in the no toss ups to go up to the, um, go up to the battleground
polls.
Trump is ahead in every single battleground poll.
Wow.
Interesting.
He's ahead in every single one.
Well, they did a great job with her.
I think they did a great job with her campaign.
I think I like that it didn't have a message or a policy. And I said that months ago when she
came out, there was not one policy they focused on. There was no Obamacare. There was no like,
I'm running because I want health care. I'm running to build a wall. I'm running for that.
There was not it was five. It was fun. it was I love you, you love me, history, we're making history.
Now this doesn't mean she will necessarily lose, but I would not, I mean she's, I mean, you know,
she's behind in every poll.
It's not great.
That's what it appears so, yeah.
According to the good people at RCP.
But I mean, a lot of them are within the margin of error. To be fair, all of them are almost in the margin of error, right?
Yes. But he is up
in every single one. Yeah. Yeah.
Well,
interesting. We'll follow it closely. We'll do the reporting. Well Interesting
We'll follow it closely. We'll do the reporting
We're doing the reporting by looking at polls for several seconds not verifying them and
Telling you what they are on YouTube
We're doing the reporting. I'm more interested in what kind of Birkin that bitch in the tunnel hat. That's the real story.
TimDillonComedy.com if you are looking to see me live. Let me read out the dates.
Orlando, Chicago, Illinois. We've added a second show at Displanes, Illinois at the Rivers Casino.
The good people there. Miami after that. Austin, Texas sold out, but you never know.
You can maybe grab something.
We might add something.
The good people of Oxnard in early December, a hell, a hell, a hell, a hell.
Irvine Improv.
I will see you for the new year as always.
Ringing in the new year at the Irvine Improv or the Brea Improv,
every year I say I won't do it and every year I do it.
It gets so drunk where there's a point in the show where I go, I don't care if you talk,
just please stay in your seat.
And then Omaha sometime later.
TimDillonComedy.com, if you want tickets
to any of those shows, we do appreciate it.
And listen, if you want, I will send your job resume
in that Hamas wife's, Yaya Sinwar's wife's Birkenbag
with rubble in it, and I will send it,
and then they can pull your resume out of the
rubble in her burger bag.
I think it makes a lot nicer of a statement than Pizza Hut.
Goodbye.