The Tim Dillon Show - 435 - Little Moments With Meghan Markle
Episode Date: March 13, 2025Tim discusses Gavin Newsom’s new podcast, Elon Musk selling Trump a Tesla on the White House lawn, a Pro-Palestinian protester gaining national attention, a self-deportation app, and Meghan Markle�...�s Netflix show. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://punchup.live/TimDillon SPONSORS: Bilt: Visit https://Joinbuilt.com/TIM To Start Earning Points on your rent payments today! Trade Coffee: Get 40% OFF your First Order with Trade at https://drinktrade.com/tim Morgan & Morgan: Visit https://ForThePeople.com/TIM or Dial #LAW (#529) ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TimDillonShow?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds?si=e8000ed157e441c8 Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack
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Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim Dillon show our final show that will be released on Thursday
I know many of you your routine has been disrupted. You're angry. You are confused
We are back to Saturday's after this week. We have
We had some scheduling things we put the show out for a couple of Thursdays
Deal with it people are dead out there. You're lucky you're alive
Gavin Newsom is
Has just stepped into the ring here as a
Podcaster he's decided that governor
Has not been as successful as it should be he's now podcasting he's
This by the way, he's clearly copying
me. I had Steve Bannon on. He had Steve Bannon on. He's literally copying me. The governor
of California Gavin Newsom. Now, by the way, we don't this is not what politicians should
be doing his starting podcast. No one wanted this. No one who's sitting in an ash heap in Alta Dina wants him on a podcast.
They want him to run the state.
You just, you have a job.
You have a job.
It's the governor of California.
That's a hard job, right?
He keeps saying it is.
The state's very big.
It's the seventh largest economy in the world or whatever he's saying.
How in God's name do you have the time to do a pod?
Can you imagine launching a podcast in the ash heap?
Of your state, he's now doing a is he going to have ads?
Is he going to read ads?
Is Gavin Newsom going to read ads while people try to find housing in his
state? Now I will do his podcast because it does no good for me not to do it. I have things to
promote but I disagree with him starting one but I've reached out so that I can do it because I
I should be doing it and he should come on here to promote it if he's gonna go that route, which I don't think he should
But he's already here. He's already here and he's already copying me
With steve bannon and his theme song is insane
Gav this is the weirdest thing ever
It they you know, we went through the last election cycle. They're like podcasters have too much power and maybe that's true.
But the goal is then not to join the podcast world.
It's to be a better governor.
Gavin Newsom is like, if I can't beat them, I will join them.
I will I will do a podcast.
You won't be able to talk shit about me now.
I'm doing a podcast. You won't be able to talk shit about me now. I'm doing
a pot. It's the most insane thing I've ever seen in my life. Let's play a little bit of
this and play this fucking theme song, which is terrible. I don't know who's advising him. This is Gavin Newsom.
And this is Steve Bannon.
Well, Steve, thanks so much for taking the time to be here.
And I want to take this opportunity to sort of, you know, go back a little bit and talk
about your history a little bit about your motivations and where you see this country.
We did a better interview with Steve Mann.
The point is this.
What is that song?
And then this is Gavin News.
So what he's trying to do is it's a relaunch of himself.
This is what people do.
There's nothing wrong with it.
We understand it.
It is required. When you are in the public eye for many many years. Eventually people
are going to get sick of you or you your policies contribute to their lives
becoming a hell and they're angry. So you got to do a relaunch and come out. So
that's the whole point. This is Gavin Gavin Newsom like like all that other shit you heard about me that ain't me
All the crime and the people with their knife to your neck after you walk out of the sushi restaurant
That ain't me
This is me now the guy who's talking to Charlie Kirk
I'm the guy who's talking to people and I'm sitting in my nice
spare room in a nice house. That's gray and I this is me. I'm just a chill guy
Everything else ain't me. This is Gavin Newsom and this is Steve Bannon somebody told him they're like and then you got to say and this is your guest and he goes and
This is Steve Bannon and then they have a talk or whatever but
this is this is what Gavin Newsom is now doing instead of running California he's decided to do
this podcast and he might be better at this than the governor i don't know i would never tell
someone to not follow their dreams i but i don't think it's just like the Olympics The Olympics isn't a bad thing. But did anyone want the Olympics is anyone in LA going? You know, we're missing the Olympics
We're missing a shot put we want the Olympics. No, no, no people want like I don't know to afford milk and
You know, they'd like to not get like, you know, I don't know
And that you know, they'd like to not get like, you know, I don't know
Raped on their way out of Pilates that no one wants the shot put nobody wants the Olympic No one cares if it was an extra thing great
But people talk about the Olympics like that's what's gonna save the state
They're like, well the Olympics is coming. So they're gonna figure it all out
They're gonna get rid of those homeless people by the Olympic. This is what people say when you're like, well, the Olympics is coming, so they're going to figure it all out. They're going to get rid of those homeless people by the Olympic.
This is what people say when you're in California.
They go, well, right before the Olympics, they're going to they're going to get rid
of all those homeless people because of the Olympics are coming.
So people are now putting their hope in the Olympics
so that they're going to clean up California because of the Olympic.
By the way, there are islands of Tesla batteries floating in the Pacific poisoning.
I mean, the things that are happening here, the marine life that's dying,
these surfers are all going to, it's all going to be like 9-11.
Remember 9-11?
They're like, oh, the air is safe.
And then 20 years later, Jon Stewart had to go and scream at Congress because
they all lied and everybody died of mesothelioma or whatever.
It's going to be the same thing.
It's going to be a bunch of fucking surfers in 10 years be like, they said the water
was safe to surf and they are all going to be fucking dying because they all lied to
these poor fox.
And that's all there is to do out here is to surf.
That's still the only thing it's you know, you take that away from this state, from
the coastal California region
These people are gonna be so there and they're back in the water. They don't care
They're back in the sludge
lithium-ion
Tesla battery water
They don't care because what else are they gonna do their governor just started a podcast
this is Gavin Newsom and
Their governor just started a podcast. This is Gavin Newsom.
And by the way, once he got 9,000 views on the Bannon app, not good. Not good. This is the M.
These are the MD foodie boys. He's Gavin Newsom. Hello, Trump perm. I'm the governor of California. Have you ever had an avocado?
I gotta speak about this here
because I've been watching the Musk thing
with detached curiosity.
And the reason I'm doing that is because
I fully don't understand what's happening
or why Donald Trump is like
turning his presidency over to this guy who's like one of the least likable people I've
ever met in my life.
I only met the guy once and he was lovely to me for the moments that we were together.
We're not together a very long time.
It was one New Year's party I met him.
But when I see Elon Musk, I don't see a likable, charismatic guy.
I see probably a brilliant, but very autistic, strange, weird kind of man-child
running around on ketamine with a chainsaw. This isn't what anyone elected. I don't understand why
Donald Trump, who is charismatic, who is is a salesman whatever you think of him is
Turning his presidency over to this guy who's now hawking Tesla's on the White House lawn
Play a little bit of this
Scene here and and this is obviously Elon Musk
Because of all the controversy surrounding his cuts, which I think are are gonna be a big problem for Republicans and I'm gonna talk about why in a minute
but because of that
He's facing there's protesters people that are like, I don't know lighting Tesla's on fire and Europe
So Donald Trump comes out and goes well, I'm gonna support
Elon by I don't know doing this kind of strange car commercial
that I don't fully grasp here and
Let's let's see what this let's see what this is
Hello president Trump, are you looking to buy or lease today?
The President.
I'm going to buy.
And I'm going to buy because, number one, it's a great product, as good as it gets.
And number two, because this man has devoted his energy and his life to doing this.
And I think he's been treated very unfairly by a very small group of people.
This is bulletproof.
I mean, look, in terms of imagination, I think I
have a great imagination.
Who else but this guy would design this and
everybody on the road is looking at it?
It's amazing, actually.
As soon as I saw it, I said, that is the coolest
design.
It's a — do you agree with that, Brian?
I mean, it's amazing.
Very cool.
Yeah.
You got to give him credit.
It's — we want the future to look like the future.
And it's kind of what kind of truck would Blade Runner drive?
That was the design idea.
I mean, this is the problem with these people.
What kind of truck would Blade Runner drive?
I mean, we're just handing the whole entire world over
to like fucking nerds and freaks.
We want the future to look like the future.
First of all, the Cybertruck's disgusting.
We can all kind of admit that.
It's a
heinous looking car. They explode. They go into trees and they explode and stuff. They're not good
looking. They don't look dignified or classy on the road. I don't know who that appeals to. Now,
I understand there's man children out there that want to fly rockets to Mars because they can't
fly their penis into a vagina now. That's not really
You know, I don't know how to describe, you know, whatever like I
understand thinking this guy does cool shit and I understand to some degree like
whatever Liking that he's you know some type of disrupter
What is happening right now to any intellectually honest person of
which there are very few in this world, I'm the only maybe the only one worth
listening to or worth giving your money to to be honest I wouldn't lie to you.
But I'm telling you right now this is the grossest and cringiest shit anyone
has ever seen in a very long time. This isn't cool.
It doesn't look cool.
This guy running around the government slashing things.
And then, you know, they're talking about Medicare and Social
Security.
If you look at the realignment in American politics, this has
been said by a lot of people, including Steve Bannon.
A lot of the people that depend on Social Security and Medicare
voted for Donald Trump.
They voted for Republican.
In fact, people with four year college educations and higher than average incomes, a lot of
them aren't really depending on those programs.
A lot of them voted for Kamala.
There are Trump voters that will be hurt badly.
And even if there weren't, it's morally not right to eliminate.
I'm not saying you can't get rid of waste, fraud and abuse.
I think most people would be on board with that.
But cutting Social Security or Medicare, Medicaid,
you have a lot of Republicans on those programs and you have the richest guy
in the world doing it.
You're trying to make a case why these cuts are necessary.
You have the richest guy on earth with 15 children running around with a chainsaw telling
people why this is good.
Are Republicans totally not freaking out? Are they not? Is there not anybody
there going, this is shaping up to be a big problem? This looks weird. This isn't what anyone voted
for. Nobody really voted for Elon Musk to be running around the White House with a chainsaw.
must to be running around the White House with a chainsaw. Is that, is that crazy to say that this,
now I think Trump, and I've said it before,
sees these guys coming a mile away.
He's a casino guy from Queens.
He has political instincts.
He's, you know, he's a brawler.
He understands the value of building people up.
Sometimes he understands the value of hanging them out to dry, too.
He understands fall guys.
We've gone over that.
I fully don't know what this is.
I think a lot of people don't know what it is.
I think Trump likes him.
He's really rich.
He's the wealthiest guy in the world.
He's an incredibly powerful guy.
He owns an incredibly powerful social media platform.
He certainly is a visionary guy, but this vision isn't good.
This makes people incredibly uncomfortable.
And by the way, increasingly, I think that's Republicans that are looking at this going. What is this?
What is this? Is that the deep state? Park Rangers? Is that what anyone thought the deep state was going into firing a bunch of Park Rangers?
Now, listen, I'm against national parks. Truly. I don't care about them. I don't. I think that a lot of people go in there and they
end up dead because I think a lot of people that are really over the top into nature are actually
very sick and twisted and hate human beings and want to kill others. That's all and I've said that
before. I'm not saying you can't be into nature but to be overly into it I think is actually a problem. That's my own belief now
you have
There they're slashing all of this stuff, you know
No one thought the deep state or the swamp was like veterans
Who were like working as a national working as park rangers?
Nobody thought that was a deep state who were like working as a national, working as park rangers.
Nobody thought that was a deep state.
Mr. Musk is still committed to his own super PAC, which has now spent six million
to support a conservative candidate
in the Wisconsin Supreme Court election next month.
He spent close to 200 million
on the presidential race last cycle,
almost all through America PAC, which he founded last year.
He's become the biggest
donor in American political life and right wing politics. He's the most powerful person in the
world. And also he's a guy that believes that we have to go to Mars and merge with AI and no longer
be humans. And no one seems to question that. Everybody seems to go, that's cool. I mean,
literally Elon Musk has said, no, no, no, in order to defeat AI, we have to merge with it. Everybody seems to go, that's cool. I mean, literally Elon Musk
has said, no, no, no, in order to defeat AI, we have to merge with it. We have to
literally alter our humanity. This is legitimately what he believes. That's not
a conspiracy. That's what he believed. Nobody brings it up. Nobody really brings
it up. I don't think populism, as has been described, includes merging with machines and going to Mars.
I don't think that's what anyone envisioned that populism was, by the way.
And all these tech people, as Bannon said and other people have said, and I've said, these people were Democrats until 15 minutes ago.
They don't give a shit about anything.
They don't really care about politics.
They want to leave Earth.
The less money for Social Security, the more money he can
build rockets to leave the planet.
That's all they're trying to do.
So it's a huge massive mistake for Donald Trump to turn over
his presidency to Elon Musk.
I don't know why this is happening.
I don't know why it's happening. And I disagree with close friends of
mine who think Elon Musk is, you know, the savior of this is Jesus. If Jesus came back, he'd be
Elon Musk. He'd come through South Africa and design cars that don't need gas and buy X. That's
what Jesus would be. I have friends that think he jesus That jesus is back. Well, this is what jesus looks like now elon musk
The guy's a billionaire who wants to go to mars and normal people are going what the fuck is this?
I can't get a knee operation
This idea of like reigning in billionaires and Wall Street and plutocrats.
And where's that Epsi's list by the way?
Where's that?
You ain't seeing that.
Where's that list?
The Republicans now control all of the government.
Now I know I'm not stupid.
Are there factions that are against them and working against them?
Absolutely.
But how long can you blame that?
Truly, how long can you blame all of this hidden power structures and everything? At what point do
you hold the people accountable that you elected and say, yeah, I guess they're not really serious
about releasing that list, which I never thought they were, by the way, all this stuff that you
think you're going to find out, that you think you're going to find
out. Do you think you're going to find out how it all worked? And then you're not. That's why I've
told all of you always this show is entertainment, whether I'm right or wrong or in the middle.
All you're getting out of any of these things is entertainment, including your own government.
By the way, there is not going to be, you're not going to be saved. There's not going to
be can the government do some good things? Absolutely. Like like like supporting poor
people veterans, providing a national defense, making sure the country has a border, making
sure the economy is somewhat reasonably fair.
Yes, you're not.
This isn't a movie where the movie ends
with Elon putting you on his spaceship and going to Mars.
You're not going to Mars.
I'm sorry about that.
These people are also the elites,
which people talk about the elites, the elites.
And I've talked about it myself because the elites are completely out of touch, but these elites are also out of touch.
It's also out of touch to think that the biggest issue is who let's go to Mars.
That's also out of touch.
That's not in touch.
Go talk to a working family that can't put food on the table.
See how many times they mention Mars.
I guarantee it's not at all.
Go speak to a mother whose house just burned down at all to Dean and ask her about Mars and how often she's thinking about Mars. She's not
Ask her at what point what if she's thinking a lot about the neural link chip?
She's not these aren't bread and butter issues that people give a shit about by the way. They're just not
They're not
People want a border. They want law and order they want to you know, these it's not they're not trying to like
Like, you know chip themselves and their kids. That's not a big issue, but that is the issue to these people
The guys at Geylon it is the issue. I just think it's a man. It's a huge mistake
is the issue. I just think it's a huge mistake. It's a huge mistake. I love Bilt. Everyone I know uses Bilt, especially if you're a renter.
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I also think this guy, the Gaza guy.
Oh God, I always fuck up these names.
Khalil.
Is it Khalil Mahmood?
What is it?
Stop it. I
was close enough
Mahmood Khalil is it that's what isn't that what I said? That's what I said
Mahmood Khalil, this guy.
Now listen, I don't know this guy.
I don't know if I'd agree with the things he says.
I don't know what he says.
But I know he was doing a protest at Columbia University.
Remember these protests, these encampments
that all these kids had?
I went to one of these at UCLA. I was curious. I just walked in.
And of course people were taking photos of me. They were thrilled to meet me.
And I said to them, I said, you're not Hamas. You don't have it.
Because immediately you should have kidnapped me.
But instead they were taking photos and selfies with me.
And I'm like, oh, if you're taking photos with a podcaster, you don't have, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Hamas would have too. Maybe if I met Hamas,
they also would have said, oh my God, I know him and maybe I don't know. All I'm saying is that
I think this is a bad precedent to set. And I don't think that the federal government
to set. And I don't think that the federal government should be detaining people based on
speech. Now listen, did they break laws of the encampment? Absolutely. Did they occupy an area? Sure. Is that going to be part of the government's argument? Yes. That this guy's a Hamas supporter.
supporter. Listen, it's a very... you're on shaky legal ground. If somebody... you know, people support all kinds of things in theory with their speech, okay? And all of them aren't
necessarily good. In fact, most things people say are insane. That's number one.
Most things people say are insane. I have threatened to kill members of my family.
I have threatened this government and others. I have threatened people's
children. I have threatened their pets. I have threatened people's businesses. I have threatened directors
producers agents
Managers business managers. I have threatened friends. I have threatened colleagues. I have threatened acquaintances. I
have told lies about
Things to people in order to make them fearful and afraid in order to make them feel worse about their lives.
I have said things that other people didn't say about them to them to punish them, to hurt them, to make them feel bad.
I have created realities that don't exist to hurt and destroy other people.
This is what is done.
other people. This is what is done. So I don't think that every word said has to be tried in a court of law. Most things people say or say, it doesn't matter.
I've lied about having cancer. I've lied. I've lied to people about my life. I've
said I've had more money than I've had and less money than I've had. I've said I
was attracted to people I wasn't. I've said I wasn had more money than I've had and less money than I've had. I've said I was attracted to people I wasn't.
I've said I wasn't attracted to people that I was.
I lied.
I lie because it's the human condition to say insane shit.
That's what we do.
You can't just hang someone for saying crazy shit.
I might support Hamas if I'm wronged by a Jew.
And if I'm wronged by a muzzy, I will support the Jews.
It doesn't matter. I should be able to live in that space.
I've been a Hamas supporter. When I see what Netflix is going to pay me, I go,
What is wrong with them? Jesus Christ?
I'm asking for something
But then I also
But then when I when they do something nice for me
I become a supporter of the Jews and I don't like Hamas anymore. We all like Hamas occasionally
Anyone with a landlord is a little bit of a Hamas fan
From the end of the month through the beginning of the month
But then you don't like Hamas after the 3rd of January
But on the 2nd of January all of us kind of support Hamas
Everyone does if you're in the business
I'm in and you audition for something if you don't hear for a week you sort of support Hamas but then when you get the role you understand that Hamas is a
barbaric terrorist organization do you see what I mean I've supported al-qaeda
and then I've been against them it's my right it's my right some of those
training videos looked fun when they you. Sometimes it is fun to just train in the desert. I don't know what it's for.
Khalil was born and raised in Syria and his Palestinian grandparents were removed from their homeland, according to his lawsuit.
He came to the U.S. on a student visa in 2022 to pursue graduate studies at Columbia.
Now here's the other thing, and I'm totally with the ban on this point.
I think we need to educate Americans. I think we need to have Americans getting into higher
education. I need to think we need to stop giving up on American citizens. I think we need a
moratorium on immigration for everybody, by the way. Low skill, high skilled, Elon's indentured
servants he wants to bring over. I think that we deal with the people we have in this country now.
We try to make their lives better.
I also understand why you have foreign students come to America and learn about America.
I get it.
That's part of the soft power of the United States.
I understand this.
He served as a student negotiator, a role that had him speaking frequently with university
officials in the press.
What the hell does a student negotiator do?
Oh, more recently, he was among the pro-Palestinian activists, activists
investigated by a new disciplinary body at Columbia University focused on
harassment and discrimination complaints.
So here's the thing.
They wanted to deport him because of his, he has a green card, but
he say, I don't know, this is all immigration law and I'm not a lawyer.
I'm just talking about the general principle.
The general principle is this.
I understand if you're here and you commit a crime, you know, depending on the severity
of the crime and depending on the circumstances,
you're not in a good place. You don't have the leverage. But I'm just telling you right now, people say all kinds of stuff. That's the reality. I don't know. For example, in a hot,
okay, a legal permanent resident can also be expelled for providing material support to a
terrorist group, in which case the government doesn't need a criminal conviction to
Bring deportation charges. It really just depends on what he did with Hamas. What is he doing with Hamas?
Is he texting Hamas? What is happening with Hamas in him? I don't know
But just saying I like Hamas. I've said that
And it's I don't even support them. It's just something to say.
I don't, you can't, every word can't be like,
we're engraving it in stone, like, oh my God, you mean this.
Hold on, the Department of Homeland Security said
the arrest was conducted, quote,
in support of President Trump's executive orders prohibiting anti-Semitism,
alleging that Khalil, quote, led activities aligned to Hamas,
a designated terrorist organization.
Now, anti-Semitism.
Now, I don't know what the executive order against anti-Semitism is.
Like, what will it stop me from doing?
Like, what will it stop me from doing? Like, can I as an American citizen be anti-Semitic?
I'm a citizen.
What exactly is the law?
Is it only people that come to the country that are not allowed to be anti-Semitic?
Or how does this work?
I'm like confused about the law
That's a strange law to have is what is that is that one of the executive orders He wrote like a million executive orders one of them is like don't be anti-semitic
That's interesting I'm just saying I don't know if you can deport this guy
Just because
You know he got into a little bit at the protests
they you know because you you start to get into character I would go to those
protests you'd have those non-binary Asians they would dress like Hamas and
some of that was fun it's fun to see people dress up now obviously there's
geopolitical ramifications to it I'm not an idiot but here what I mean. Look at this Cinderella or Snow White rather.
This thing's, Disney's in big trouble here.
And again, because you have Rachel Zegler who's in Hamas and Gal Gadot who's in
the IDF.
They're stars of the movie and they're on both sides of the Middle East and
the both sides of the Middle Eastern conflict and there's no fucking dwarfs because Peter Dinklage from Game of Thrones
Opened his mouth and said this is fucked up having dwarfs in in the movie called Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
so now we got a
Lot of pro-palestine a lot of pro-israel and no fucking dwarfs in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Palestine a lot of pro-israel and no fucking dwarfs in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs so now Disney doesn't know what the hell is going on because
Rachel Zegler is coming out and screaming from the river to the sea or
whatever she does and you know Gal Gadot is doing her whole thing you know
lighting infants on fire and no and there's no dwarfs so my whole thing is
does it seem like a fun film does it seem like a fun film? Does it seem like a fun film?
I want to see dwarfs.
I don't want to.
I don't want the Middle East conflict.
I want dwarfs.
World politics have also come into play.
Zegler has promoted free Palestine on social media at the same time.
Godot, who is Israeli, has become an outspoken support of Israel on social media, as well as in a passionate speech.
She delivered when she was honored at the anti-defamation league's annual
summit, New York city, quote, never did I imagine that on the streets of the
United States and different cities around the world, we would see people not
condemning Hamas, but celebrating, justifying and cheering on the massacre
of Jews.
So you have Rachel Ziegler, who's like, she's just out there.
She said, I hope Trump supporters never know any peace. Rachel, please.
Now you have Gal Gadot, who's out there, you know, with Netanyahu, hardcore right-wing Israel stuff.
And not a dwarf to be seen
So you and is that them together show them look how much they hate each other go up how much he's they hate each other
So these two are in this movie about
Snow white and Ziegler said it's a whole rape thing
She's like, well, it's basically a guy who stalks a chick and why would we even make that movie?
And then Peter Dinklage says we can't have any dwarfs.
And then Gal Gadot goes all the dwarfs should be played by Israeli hostages.
Nothing here is good.
I think they shelve it.
I think they shelve the thing and they scrap it.
I think they scrap it. And what's going on with this ceasefire? Is it working? They're all killing still, right?
These ceasefires, I mean, this is not even... I don't even pay attention to these ceasefires. This is the fakest thing ever.
These ceasefires are the fake... this is when the worst couple, you know says that they're actually that things have been good
No, no things are good. Yeah, why cuz cuz you're on a business trip
the
Everybody's gonna fight over there forever. I don't mean Ukraine and Putin. I mean the Israel stuff
It's it's gonna be difficult over there to have any type of
ceasefire that's going to be enforced.
It's going to be very difficult.
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Let's look at his Meghan Markle show because this is actually better than I thought.
I didn't think I would enjoy this as much as I did, but here's why I like it.
This woman who I have now a fondness for is criminally insane.
And what's amazing about this show and what makes it actually fun and interesting is the
depths of her insanity reveal themselves throughout the program. Every person that she has on the show
is someone that she hates. She doesn't have friends. Meghan Markle doesn't have friends,
and this is kind of why I respect her. Friends are
not part of her overall goal. She has connections, she has a people whose necks she can step on to
get to the next level. She does not have friends, she does not care about other human beings.
about other human beings, she only wants power. And the only way that she feels that she can get it
is by leveraging her relationships with certain people that's not friendships. And you see in the show that there are no friends. She wouldn't know what a friend was. Everyone is fearful of her.
Everyone is cagey around her. She doesn't know what's going to happen.
And what's interesting about her is the thing that launched her,
which was this like crazy era of like identity politics run rampant,
she actually brilliantly destroys in her show.
Because if you came up with the picture of an annoying insufferable white woman, it would be Meghan
Markle.
If you came up with an out of touch suburban white woman, it would be Meghan Markle, even
though she's not white.
What I mean to say there is that Meghan Markle in her own show proves that it is not about
race. It is about the demon that lives inside of all of us
and letting that demon out.
But can we see that speech she gives
that you just played there?
Can we see that?
If you haven't watched this show,
it's impossible to describe not only how entertaining it is,
but again, for all the wrong reasons.
This she's a very she's a very very sick person.
I just want to raise a glass to you guys this feels like a
new chapter that I'm so excited that I get to share all of that
is just part of that creativity that I miss so much.
So that's the creativity she's missed so much.
And the creativity is, you know, making pasta.
Because that's what the show is. She makes pasta for people.
That's the creativity, by the way, she's missing.
Making turmeric tea and honey.
And she just kind of goes through the kitchen. It's a little moment. It's just a little moment. It's so simple and so quick. It's not about perfection. It's about the journey.
We strive for joy. It's about happiness. Come on in. We want it to be cozy and remind you of home.
We want it to remind you of home. I don't know where my autistic husband is. He doesn't know where he is. He's not allowed to see his family. I
destroyed a monarchy so we could have a little dish and you just take the cherry
tomatoes, put them in a pan with a little garlic and it's a family that's been
around for centuries and I destroyed it. And you want to wilt the vegetables
which is actually different than stewing them. Stewing them they lose all of their character but when
you kind of wilt them they're halfway between fresh and stewed and I killed
his mother and I actually killed his father they're both dead now his father's
not dead but his mother is dead I mean his grandmother is dead because she
couldn't bear to see what was happening.
I also staged a chase in New York City
like the one his mother had,
and I've actually worn sweatshirts that his mother wore.
I'm a deeply sick person,
and it's just about kind of whipping up a cake,
and it doesn't have to be perfect.
We're just using local honey,
and we fold that honey into the frosting,
and the kids love it.
Little Archie loves it, and Lilybeth,
and they're gonna send me,
what'd you do to daddy's family?
I said, I killed them.
I killed them all,
and I brought you all back to Santa Barbara.
She's a sick bitch.
Is there any interaction from this thing we can play
to just give people a little idea
of how genuinely unhinged she is? Again, they've already greenlit season two of this show.
My special on Netflix will be out in April. I'm trying to get Megan to do a promo with me.
She will not, I imagine. We are out to her people. I imagine it's going to be a no,
We are out to her people. I imagine it's going to be a no, but we are offering her that
Opportunity to laugh at herself because again, I like her this is what people don't get about me. I
Am here to appreciate humanity in all its forms when you start judging people and becoming a moralist you get the show gets very boring I
Like her what she has done,
okay? What the world she has manifested is so impressive and so off the wall and insane,
you can only actually sit back and kind of be in awe of her. In awe of her. She is full of the type of hate
that I find aspirational.
Her hatred of other people as soon as they walk into her home. I strive for that. I'm actually a big pussy.
People come in, I talk a big game. I'm actually kind of happy to see most of them.
The hatred in her eyes for these people is something that I aspire to.
Because she doesn't want to have to prance around with Mindy Kaling. She wants to be much more
famous than that. She wants to be much more famous than that. But the guests that she has gotten,
she is not, she is unhappy with them. They walk in and she has hatred in her eyes. She goes,
why do I have to do this? I'm better
than this. And that's the attitude that gets you far in this business. If you can hate your
circumstances enough to create new ones, you're going to do good. So I think that Megan will
actually figure out a way. She'll get the things she wants. Yes, we will hate her, but it doesn't matter She doesn't care that we hate her. You know why she hates us
That's why she wins. She hates us
She hates us. She thinks we're pigs. We're disgusting. We don't know how to use fucking silverware
She thinks we're all Sieg Heilig in our backyard
We're just a bunch of fat Nazis who don't know how to make a silverware. She thinks we're all Sieg Heilig in our backyard. We're just a bunch of fat Nazis who don't know how to make a proper
cupcake. She hates us. She thinks we're pigs and we should only see people like
her behind glass. She's here to educate these fat disgusting Nazi pig wives how
to make a little pasta for the kid. Make a salad for the kid you pig Nazi bitch.
That's what she wants she's
here to help us and it is her hatred of us she loathes and abominates us and it
is why she succeed most people would fall apart with the hate that Meghan
Markle gets but it only fuels her because hate when it hits hate refracts. Does it work?
Doesn't matter
She isn't trying to win a popularity contest. She has aimed her laser at some of the richest
People on earth that feel good by making her dreams come true. She's not playing
To Betty bowling alley or fatty boomaddy or any of these people.
She knows that if she gets the upper echelon to fuck with her, eventually it'll trickle down to the little pig people who she's just trying to, you know, get to start their own garden.
Just start your own garden, you little pig.
Just start your own garden. Oh, your son, O little pig. Just start your own garden. Oh your son OD'd? Make your own Narcan. We'll make it. I'll teach you how to
make Narcan. That way you don't lose your other son. I make my own Narcan. It's so
simple to make your own Narcan and just have it. It's so important right now
because there's so many people OD'ing on fentanyl at a house party.
You could just go downstairs to the basement with this Narcan and in several minutes your
son's friend is actually standing up and ready to go to the hospital.
It's so important.
It doesn't have to be perfect.
We're not here because everything's going to be exactly the way we want it.
Sometimes our son overdoses in the bathroom
and we have to go in there with the Narcan that we've made.
We can make our own Narcan.
All right, let's watch a little bit of this.
Including her pal, Mindy Kaling.
I don't think anyone in the world knows
that Meghan Markle has eaten Jack in the Box.
It's so funny too that you keep saying,
Meghan Markle, you know I'm Sussex now.
Yeah, and what she's saying to Mindy Kaling It's so funny too that you keep saying Meghan Markle, you know, I'm Sussex now. Yeah.
And what she's saying, what she's saying to Mindy Kaling is listen to me, you fat bitch.
See, this is what she's saying to Mindy Kaling.
She goes, listen to me, you fat bitch.
You know, she is such a Monarch, Meghan Markle.
And in the history of the world, the Meghan Markles of the world would be, you know, opp Mindy Kaling's because Mindy Kaling's like listen you bitch my empire ran your shit for years
Don't bring up
Don't call me my fucking my dead name. Don't call me my dead name. That's not my name in these streets
My name is Sussex
You bitch.
Is right.
So any other
interaction we can say it's and you go no I share my name with
my children, yes, and that feels so I I didn't know how
meaningful would be to me, but it just means so much to go.
This is our family name or a little family would it mean a lot of it wasn't royal though.
Haha what it means much.
You see your eyes.
You see her eyes.
She's doing an impression of a human being but the most
interesting thing about Meghan Markle is that she's not a
human being never become a human on honey bunny bear. Don't ever become a human being. You will, you will, she'll be so unhappy as a
person. The best version of Meghan Markle is exactly the one you are seeing right now. She is
completely, she, her lust for power, for status, for fame is so naked and so transparent. The demon inside of her is coming out of her eyes and she's trying to be a human being.
Only enough just be enough of a human being for the show.
But I mean her own father's out there going this bitch is out of control, but it doesn't bother her.
Again, you would think someone's father on on the thing going, she's terrible. You know, but it doesn't bother her. Again, you would think someone's father on the thing going, Jesus, terrible.
You know, but it doesn't bother her. And I respect her.
God, I respect her. Although my father, given the chance, would probably be screaming,
yelling how much I suck too, if I was fucking making pancakes in Santa Barbara.
And I might be. But what she does
so well, okay, and what has to be noted and what actually has to be respected, she actually
remains above any meaningful human moment, any authentic human moment which most people would have by accident this whole
she has not one of them the whole time everything is forced and awkward and and
terrifying because it is just a way for her to get to that next level that she
envisions this show is gonna go on for four or five seasons and
at that point she's gonna have a Martha Stewart living she's gonna be in Target
and all these fat white women are gonna walk in and buy all her shit and she's
gonna be a big billionaire and she's gonna turn around to the royal family
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Speaking of air travel there are literal literal demons now on the planes.
Literal demons.
Literal demons on the flights.
So,
Passenger swallows rosary beads on chaotic flight to Miami.
The man also kicked a flight attendant.
Him and his sister were traveling to Haiti to escape religious attacks of a spiritual nature.
A satanic disciple had stowed away on a flight to Florida as one passenger saw it and something
had to be done.
Less than a minute after an American Airlines flight took off from Savannah, Georgia for
Miami on Monday night, a passenger began yelling and shaking.
Flight attendants initially thought he was having a seizure, but it turned out he was
struggling because he believed the demonic spirit had invaded the cabin
and at some point during the flight began swallowing rosary beads to ward that spirit off.
As attendants approached the man, DeLange Augustin 31,
he kicked one of them in the chest so hard that the attendant tumbled across the aisle into a window on the other side of the plane.
chest so hard that the attendant tumbled across the aisle into a window on the other side of the plane. That's when the cabin crew realized that Mr. Augustine, who was traveling with his sister,
was not having a medical emergency. His choices appeared purposeful, though difficult to describe.
A special agent with the FBI wrote in the affidavit filed, the pilots turned the plane around
when they heard the commotion and landed it safely in Savannah, but that was not the end of the
episode. Disembarkation from the jet spiriled into chaos when Mr. Augustine stormed
to the front of the plane and threw several wild punches at a flight attendant before
the door had been opened. So this is a guy who's being possessed by a demon on the American
Airlines flight. So just to let you know, that's also what you're contending with. It's not only air traffic controllers or overwork staff or busy airports or mechanical failure.
It's demons on the plane now.
It's a demon.
He's a demon on the plane.
Mr. Guts told his sister to close her eyes and pray because Satan's disciples had followed
him on the plane and the Legion didn't want, they didn't want them to make it to Haiti.
Sounds fun. Sounds fun. So there's literal demons now on the plane. You can add this to the mix. People now, you know, I fly a lot. People tell me they go, is flying safe? What's going on with
flying? So now this is a fun thing to actually include. You
can say well now actually there are demons on the planes and those people
are fighting a spiritual war in the air, 30,000 feet in the air. There are people
that are being possessed by demons on the plane. That's gonna have to be a
question that's asked now as you go
through airport security. Do you feel you are being currently possessed by a
demon? No. Oh thank you. Do you have any liquids? Yeah. Is the laptop out of the
bag? Are you currently being possessed by a demonic entity? Not that you're aware
of. Okay, excellent. Thank you. Go through the metal detector on the right. No liquids and if you're and there's gonna be a lot there will be a line for people who are being possessed by a demon
By the way, there'll be a separate like, you know, they have clear and TSA pre-tilt be a separate line for the demonic possession
Well, they'll just hand you a rosary and go good luck
Can you imagine that people on the ground in Savannah, they go, what happened to the plane?
There was a demon on it. And they literally, and they go, what are you talking about?
No, there was a demon on the plane speaking in demon language, trying to rid the demon by eating rosary beads.
We had the land. That sounds like the biggest lie. They go, really? Did you drink and miss your flight?
No, there was a demon that was trying to do an exorcism on himself in the plane.
I mean,
it really is getting to a point now where if you do not have to fly,
just don't do it.
Really don't do it right now.
If you do not have to be somewhere,
don't be there.
I don't understand why you would go anywhere.
Now,
is this one of
these spam calls? No it's not. But I'll tell you this I hate the fact that
I have to fly all the time and it is something that I have to do and there's
a new you know the new reality of the world and I think there is a new reality
and it's like what is essential? Is it an essential trip? Is this friendship essential? You know really
truly is the money you're spending essential? And I think that's what people
have to think about. US unveils a new app for self-deportation. This is a new app where you I think you self-deport on the app. The
Trump administration is repurposing a mobile application originally
created to facilitate asylum appointments into a way for undocumented
migrants already in the US to self-deport. The app known as CBP Home allows immigrants to submit an intent to depart,
which US Customs and Border Patrol says offers them a chance to leave without harsher consequences.
So basically they're like, just go on the app. Just go on the app. We can do it easier
or hard. Hard is we have to go get you, but easy as you just go on the app.
You go on the app and you click leave.
Just click the icon that says leave, leaving.
If they don't, we will find them and deport them
and they will never return.
And the statement home and security,
secretary Kristi Noem,
that's the woman who shot her dog in the head,
said that by self deporting through the app,
migrants may still have the opportunity to return legally in the future
and live the American dream.
And they should say that on the app, self-deport and then return legally later and live the
American dream.
I don't, what is the likelihood anyone's used this app to self-deport by the way?
I mean, cause by the way, I don't think they have like,
I don't think they have the resources to deport all these people anyway. So who's on the app? Wouldn't you chance it instead of going, you're going to go on the app and click leave, just go
on the app. And then what happens by the way, according to DHS, the app is meant to complement
a $200 million domestic and international campaign calling for undocumented migrants to stay out and leave now.
This stay out and leave now campaign.
So you open the app and it just goes, get out.
What kind of app is so crazy app who designed that app?
You open the app and it goes, stay out and leave.
Now is the leave now and stay out is the campaign.
So wait a minute.
That's the whole thing. Like Trump's like, we're deporting everyone.
It's just an app that some shitty guy
in Silicon Valley created.
Here's some shitty app.
This is all it is.
It's just door dash for immigrants telling them to leave.
Hey, get the fuck out of here.
What is this?
That's all it is.
So that's what this whole thing was.
He just wants to sell Teslas on a White House lawn.
And then there's an app that's just, it's going to just, you're going to get a push
notification to leave.
You should be leaving.
Are you leaving now?
Are you leaving now and stay?
And then once you cross the border, it goes and stay out.
And then do you still have the app so you can track, can immigrants
track each other leaving?
Is it like Venmo where you can see that I split a sandwich with someone?
Is that the app?
CBP home.
Can I see if other immigrants like where they are in their journey?
I'm like, oh, you said you would leave but I see on the app.
You're not you're you're the dot that dot hasn't moved.
You're full of shit.
I mean, what the fuck is this app?
This is by the way, this is why the tech community wanted to get in with Trump. They're like, oh, yeah We're gonna build the deportation app
Does anyone believe that any of this has any that this is gonna work at all
Submit intent to depart there of view my departure and then verify departure.
Make that bigger.
View my departure, view your departure report from the.
This is so Orwellian, you should download it.
Our buddies here watching.
I mean, this is so crazy.
View my departure.
And then verify my departure
Departing traveler and it's just the United States and then it has arrows going up and then arrows going down
So that's what this whole thing is
That's what the whole thing is is just
This new
Application that's so funny. That's so funny.
That's so crazy.
What does it say?
Homeless security overhauls its asylum phone app.
Now it's for self-deportation.
CBP.
Oh, it ratings and reviews on the app store.
2.9 out of five.
Oh, let's go.
Really bad to get an appointment.
This app has several bugs that need to be corrected.
In our case, we were a Cuban family that was stranded in Mexico with two minors since December
29th.
There are four of us in total.
We've been trying to get an appointment at the border for more than 10 days, but it always
gives a different error.
Well, that's probably by design.
We have even completed the entire process
we finished after capturing.
Even the photo tells us that there's no capacity
to serve four people.
Go to the next app.
I mean, this is a one-star review of the deportation app.
By the way, who is reviewing the deportation app
with five stars?
Who's like, it may, yeah, it was able to be kicked out
of the country easily and efficiently
Instead of Homeland Security knocking my door down
This allowed me to self-deport because my daughter said she was pro-mas at Columbia University
It was an easy efficient process
Listen to this bug alert save button from profile does not work. App, app, bro.
This is like when I select edit traveler profile, the fields on the screen are filled out. No
message shown. When I select again, edit traveler profile,
the fields on the screen are empty.
So it keeps, it's so annoying to fill out
your edit traveler profile again.
I mean, yeah, again, people are angry and upset
about this app.
This is how much we're living in a tech dystopia.
These people aren't even like mad they're living the country.
They just hate the app.
That's how it all, we'll all just be reviewing an app
at the end.
There's no other place for any of us to go
except just to review an app and go,
this doesn't really work.
They'll be forcing us to kill ourselves with an app.
There'll be a euthanasia app.
There'll be an app for those suicide pods and someone will go, you know, I got to be
honest, I tried to get an appointment at that pod for three weeks in a row.
The app just, it keeps clearing all the fields after I fill out the information.
That's the world Elon Musk wants, by the way, where all you can do is review your suicide
app.
Because if you're not chosen to merge with AI and you won't be, then what
happens? Then you will go on the suicide pod app, you fill your information out and you
you deport from Earth. If you think self-deporting from America is the only thing, you're out
of your mind. You will be self-deporting from Earth, by the way. And these people are going to make it easy and efficient for you.
They want to make it easy and efficient for you to end their life.
I am telling you right now and I like what Trump is doing with foreign policy.
We got to get out of the Ukraine War.
America's not the boss anymore.
We share the planet with China and Russia.
I know you don't you might not like it and North Korea and Iran.
We can't fight a war on three stages.
I agree with a lot of what Trump's doing with foreign policy.
It makes a lot of sense, even though people are yelling and kicking and screaming.
On the domestic side, handing your presidency over, handing it over to Elon Musk, who's running around with a
chainsaw potentially on ketamine, probably on ketamine, is the biggest
mistake I've seen made. And this is the hubris. This is the hubris that allowed
the Biden administration to do all the crazy things that got the Democrats
thrown out of office. This is the hubris where you go, oh, we're going to run this octogenarian
dementia patient, Joe Biden, until he gets out on the stage and literally dies in
front of everyone. Then we're going to run Kamala Harris, his empty headed secretary,
the vice president, notwithstanding, no one knows what she did, not even her.
Vice president, notwithstanding, no one knows what she did, not even her.
The hubris that allows you to make that decision is the same hubris that allows you to just hand the federal government over to a guy that a lot of people in
America already hate or will hate soon.
This is the fatal flaw in humanity.
And that's the reality.
It's just, it's a great line line from the show Louis, Louis CK,
the comedian's show. When Joan Rivers looked at him he was complaining about
something or other and she said know when you're lucky. Know when you're lucky.
Nobody seems to be able to do that. Certainly nobody in the political world
seems to know when they're lucky.
They keep pushing, just like the Biden administration
kept pushing, Trump is gonna keep pushing,
and people desperately want a sense of normalcy
in this country.
They don't want an open border. They don't want biological
men competing in women's sports. They also don't want to live in a Christian theocracy. They also
don't want Elon Musk taking a chainsaw to social security. They don't want the richest man in the
world selling Teslas on a White House lawn. They don't want any of this.
You know, most people just want normalcy. They want a sense of reality, of time, of purpose.
And if the conservative party stands for anything, it should be able to give them
that and slow the pace of change.
It's the entire philosophy of conservatism is to slow the pace of disorienting and destabilizing
change. And in fact, we've seen quite the opposite. We have a transhumanist with a chainsaw
running around the White House screaming and yelling about the need to get rid of the Parks
Department. I don't know that that's what anyone voted for.
So at this point, right now, if there was an election tomorrow,
I swear to God, even though she'd throw me in jail,
even though she might execute me,
right now, there is only one person
who possesses the skill set to be the next president of the United States.
There is only one person who has, I believe, the internal fire to be the president of the United
States. And if you can defeat the monarchy, you can lead this country. So I'm
endorsing as of right now, Megan, the Duchess of Sussex to
be the president of the United States in three years, because
she can do it. She defeated Britain again.
Single-handedly.
Okay, with a couple of magazine articles and a documentary.
She has within her the demon.
That's needed.
She can do it.
I'm worried about what did where this administration is going and we were all clearly worried about what where this administration's going.
And we were all clearly worried about what the hell was going on with Joe Biden.
But this bitch making her own honey and Santa Barbara bringing Mindy Kaling's
fat ass over to mispronounce her name.
This bitch has it.
Sorry. name. This bitch has it. Sorry she does. If the presidency in America is for someone that has to, by their very nature, have turned off some of their humanity and acts on instinct to preserve the greatness of an empire, look no further than this bitch.
I have fully and completely changed my mind about her as she goes deeper and deeper into hell
and fights all of the people, including me.
I'm a big critic and she doesn't care.
She's undeterred.
That's what you need a president to be.
She is completely.
It doesn't matter to her what you think of her.
She is a born leader.
This is true.
Yet is it based on anything? Are you wasting my time? Have
you listened to me for a year? Shut up! You know what this world is already. You know what this world
is. Okay? You know what it is. She will beat China. She will beat them. The presidency is about nothing if it's not about little moments.
It's not about perfection.
It's about little moments.
It's about celebrating yourself.
It's about loving yourself.
It's about family.
It's about good friends.
It's about little moments.
That's what it is.
I hope our overlords would do well to remember that.
If not, I fear we're getting a dose of Megan.
And soon, good night.