The Tim Dillon Show - 442 - Tim Dillon & His A.I. Friends
Episode Date: May 3, 2025Tim discusses being inducted into the Harvard Lampoon, the political schism over Israel, Democrats rebranding with Elissa Slotkin, Elon Musk’s exit from DOGE, Prince Harry complaining about no longe...r getting royal security, and Mark Zuckerberg telling us all to make AI friends. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://punchup.live/TimDillon SPONSORS: Identity Guard Visit https://identityguard.com/tim To Sign Up For A 30 Day Free Trial And Get 60% OFF Aura Frames Exclusive $35-OFF Carver Mat At https://AuraFrames.com Use Promo Code "TIM" Ship Station Go To https://shipstation.com & Use Code "TIMDILLON" To Sign Up For Your FREE Trial Nutrafol Go To https://Nutrafol.com/men & Use Code "TIMDILLON" To Get $10 OFF Your First Month's Subscription & FREE Shipping ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TimDillonShow?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds?si=e8000ed157e441c8 Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show.
Thank you for being with us again.
Thank you to everyone who watched the Candace Owens episode.
I know that that did very well.
We appreciate Candace coming on and she's hella pregnant, as she said.
She's about to pop. And then it was nice to have her on.
Not not some of my Jewish friends texted me and they were not.
Thrilled about it, texted me and they were not thrilled about it. You know? They were not happy about it.
And hey, not everyone's gonna be happy all the time.
Not everyone's gonna be happy all the time.
And that's okay. We had a lovely conversation about Harvey Weinstein,
a Jewish person who has been wrongly accused of things and
Candice is working very hard to get him out of jail okay so let's let's all
realize that as well I just got back from Boston the kids at the Harvard
Lampoon I have a friend of mine a guy who worked on my ill-fated
talk show with Netflix. How are the other talk shows doing there? Not great. But the ill-fated
talk show I did at Netflix, one of the kids in the Harvard Lampoon worked on it, so he had me go to
the Lampoon last night, and they did like, I got inducted.
I don't know what that means, but it was very sweet of them
and they were very nice kids, you know?
The Harvard Lampoon's like a famous literary magazine
where a lot of comedy writers came from.
Conan, legendary obviously, and Colin Joe's came from there.
A lot of comedy writers, people who wrote The Simpsons and
everything. I don't know what it has to do with comedy now.
I think it's more like a frat now.
I don't, you know, like
one of the guys, I'm like, what do you major in? He's like
economics and I swear to God, he goes with a focus on
systems of control. I swear to God, he said that. He goes out
with a focus on systems of control and I was like hilarious
Hilarious and then you talk to the kids and they're like, yeah, they're like I'm going to New York
I'm gonna work at you know, private equity and then hopefully get into comedy. I'm like the famous private equity to
Comedy pipeline, of course
But I get it if my kid went to Harvard and said I'm gonna be a comedian, I would drown them.
I would fully submerge them in water
until they couldn't breathe.
But it was like a relic of another era
and it was really cool to see.
But yeah, I mean, it's like, I get it.
Go into the world of private equity
and then from there, get into comedy.
Go into hedge funds and then slip slide into
comedy seems.
And they're, you know, the thing about the kids at Harvard, they're a little smug, which
I get because they're at Harvard and they should be.
They're also kind of as smart as they all are.
They're a little out of it as well.
Like one of them was like, why don't you spend more time in LA?
And I go, well, it's really depressing. And he goes, why? And I go, well, the entertainment industry
is collapsing. And he goes, what do you mean? It's like, what do you mean? What do I mean?
They just don't know. They don't know. They go hacks is a good show. People write for
hacks. I go, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like ten people the rest of the people are are in their bathroom with a noose
Like I mean, you know, but they don't they don't quite understand that
Which is why it's good to get the first few years of comedy in a black rock
very important first few years of comedy you get in a black rock and
you know, you'll be the
But they were sweet. They were very nice. Most of them most of them were very nice, you know, you'll be the... But they were sweet. They were very nice.
Most of them. Most of them were very nice.
You know, there's a...
There's something about...
And it was an interesting time to be at Harvard
because Trump is now in a war with Harvard
and other Ivy League schools
because he feels like they didn't do enough
to protect Jewish students
during the encampments,
if you remember the encampments,
which the one at Harvard was very small.
These guys were walking me around Harvard
and it was like 10 tents.
Again, anecdotally, everyone I met at Harvard was Jewish
and they all seemed fine.
Anecdotally, anecdotally, I'm not saying
that it wasn't a hostile environment.
I think if you commit a crime you got to go if you punch a
Jewish person you have to go if you you know what I mean I get it if you're doing that you got to go
But if you're just participating in a protest or if you are writing an op-ed, you know, I mean
This is crazy, right? To deport you? Crazy.
But, again, it seemed like they were, the Jewish students I met at Harvard, seemed anecdotally
fine.
They made it through it.
They were able to get through it.
Anecdotally.
Again, they might have had trauma deep, deep down on the surface.
Seemed fine.
Seemed fine. But but again that's the
uh but one of them we were having dinner and one of them said my girlfriend's
brazilian and she might get deported because harvard's
refusing to comply because the trump administration is
creepily being like give us all the student records
we want all the disciplinary records we want everything we want to know
who said what who did what they're scrubbing social media
They're doing all this shit that is fundamentally un-american. It should and you shouldn't do if you went to a protest and you conducted yourself
You know you were protesting you weren't like damaging property or you know
Listen if you take over building for a week and you're assaulting people
You're probably gonna get thrown out. But if you just go to a protest, you know, and you yell a
few slogans from the river to the sea, if you're, if you do a little from the river to the sea in the
quad, just to kind of be seen, should you be deported a little globalize the Intifada from the
quad, you don't even know what it means. I don't know what that means.
I don't know what it means.
I know it. People don't like it.
I'm not for it necessarily.
I don't want to globalize the Intifada.
But if you did a little globalize the Intifada
on your way to a party in the quad,
again, should you be deported?
Probably not. You're in college. You're not a kid.
You're an adult, but you're a young adult. You don't have all your ideas fully formed.
That's the point of going to college. The point of going to college is to get into the Harvard
Lampoon and think you're a comedian for four years and then go work for BlackRock. That's the point
of college. It's like, and there's nothing wrong with it.
It's why we need a college.
I major in economics with a focus on systems of control.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
The fun thing about Russia is like the people
that are designing the prison
don't think they're clowns as well.
Like they're not trying to write clever artists.
The one thing you got to give it to Russia
is the people that are like building the prison in which you will live
in all ways do not also they don't do it in like a cutesy clever
sardonic way.
But that's the point of college. The point of college is to be in college. It's to be young.
It's to go and do things to experiment sexually to experiment with ideas to
to try to be the type of person that you think will be a successful one, right?
Like, that's the whole point.
We shouldn't be isolating a minute or an hour of someone's life and judge them on the basis
of that.
It seems crazy to do.
But I was having dinner with all these Harvard kids
and they were like, do you think it's a bad PR move
for Trump if these kids start getting ripped off of
Harvard's campus and deported?
And I said, let me tell you something.
It's Harvard.
If Trump rolled through Harvard with tanks
and killed all of you, and I mean killed all of you, okay?
He would still win that PR war. It's Harvard. You are the least sympathetic people in the world.
It just is what it is. You're not people that anyone would feel bad. People would watch.
They would watch it like they watch you know Sunday night
for Monday night football they would sit there and watch you get taken out of
these dorms lined up and shot in the head and they would do it with glee they
would gleefully watch it they wouldn't care that's why the Trump people if you
notice what they're doing they're going at like he's not by the way all these mass deportations and a lot of people want it aren notice what they're doing, they're going at, like he's not, by the way,
all these mass deportations that a lot of people want, it aren't happening.
They're just not happening.
So if you elected Trump to get rid of the 10 million people that came, that Biden let
in, you're not getting it.
You're just not getting, a lot of people are not happy about that.
You're not getting it.
What you are getting is these very politicized deportations of certain bad elements, debatably, but a lot of, you
know, deportations of criminals and of people in the country, people selling
fentanyl or whatever, murderers, to an El Salvadoran jail, which is probably not
long-term the best thing. What if a Democrat wins the next time and wants
to send Joe Rogan to a jail in El Salvador?
What about that?
Did you ever think about that?
Did you ever think of how Theo Von would fare in an El Salvador prison?
He'd do phenomenally, by the way.
He would do phenomenally and his show would be very interesting from that prison.
But that's what you have a highly kind of politicized
Attacks and he knows they know that Ivy League schools like Harvard and Columbia
Nobody feels bad for students at Harvard or Columbia and people are rightfully
Kind of fed up with Ivy League universities. They they
They look at them and you know these kids behave in very silly,
ridiculous ways. Even when I went to the encampment at UCLA, which is not an Ivy League, but you have these like non-binary Asians dressed in the full garb, they look like Hamas,
but it's non-binary Asians in the Hamas garb
And it's very hard to take any of them seriously
You cannot take any of these people seriously because they also have lists of like food
They want they need because they're they want to they can't leave the encampment
But they need food and the food needs to be vegan and the food needs to be there
You cannot take any of these people seriously. Hey say what you want about Hamas. You do take them seriously. You do take Hamas seriously.
You do. You do. You certainly do. But these kids, and I even said it to a few of them at UCLA,
I said, you're not Hamas. You don't have it. You took a photo with me. Now, maybe a few people
in Hamas would do that too, but most of them would most of them its eyes on the prize. That's the thing with Hamas, isn't it?
It's eyes on the prize
Not saying it's good, but I'm saying there's a level of focus
That a lot of kids at the cam and said now so when you're an adult and you're watching this you're watching them take over
Buildings and do these very theatric silly things and again we're not debating the merits of what of the
Israel Gaza thing we're just saying this you're not gonna allow children to
take over colleges in America it's not gonna happen you're not gonna allow
it's not gonna it's not going to happen but I also think deporting a lot of them
that are here on legal visas is silly and is ridiculous.
Let them work at BlackRock.
Let them do it.
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What I find interesting recently as I've been kind of digesting the news, is the schisms that are
developing on the left and the right. There are schisms that are happening on
both sides of the aisle politically. Since Trump got elected, what's
interesting to see is that things have gotten a lot messier and a lot more
complicated all over the place people can't as easily
identify with a side as
they could have before the election and
one of the schisms that's happening in the in the
in the political
world is Israel.
It's a big schism on the left and the right.
And it's kind of going hand in hand with Ukraine,
although the way they manifest is a little different.
On the right, predominantly about the Israel question,
you have people that feel like the United States
of America should not be co- cosigning all of Israel's activities.
And then you have people on the right that believe that the Israel Hamas question is
an existential threat to Western civilization, and that Israel needs to do whatever it has
to do to vanquish Hamas.
Benjamin Netanyahu came out and really said, hey, those hostages, they're issue two.
They're issue two.
Issue one will be getting rid of Hamas and Hamas is anyone and everyone that we get.
That's Hamas of any age, of any gender, anywhere they happen to be. That's
Hamas. And the hostages are issue two. Again, it's Benjamin Netanyahu. It's his quote. He
said Hamas, the total decapitation of Hamas eliminating all Hamas fighters is issue one.
Hostages are issue two. That's one side of the right that believes
that whatever Israel needs, we got to be there to do it. And the other side of the right believes
that we are too cozy, too close. This is not doing anything for America's national security.
We need to stay out of wars, especially a war Iran Which has divided the right as well because the people who believe we need to co-sign everything Israel does also believe
That we need to go into Iran
on
The left it is a very similar schism. It's almost the same exact one
you have people that
Do not want to support Israel and then you have people that do you have people that do not want to support Israel,
and then you have people that do.
You have people that are against a commitment
to Israel financially and a war with Iran,
and then you have people that are for an unended,
open-ended commitment to Israel
and whatever they want to do,
and war with Iran on the left as well.
We've reached a very interesting place and we now have a woman I want to introduce you to who
symbolizes what I'm talking about. And what I mean is there is an establishment
and there is, I don't want to call it a deep state
because I think though it that doesn't fully explain what it is I know that's
what a lot of people say it is they're not necessarily wrong I'm just sick of
hearing that those two words but you have an establishment that's neither really principally left or right.
They're concerned predominantly with the preservation of the American Empire and the expansion of
the American Empire, which is why they will destroy the chances of Bernie Sanders, someone
who I like and would vote for.
I'd vote for Bernie Sanders, someone who I like and would vote for, I'd vote for Bernie Sanders, I think he has integrity, in the same way that they tried to destroy Donald Trump through legal
means and maybe other means, depending on what you think happened in Butler, Pennsylvania.
This is kind of every now and then, they throw a person at you this establishment, which again is not it's amorphous
it's not left or right like for example Sam Harris
who's a
liberal but critical of Islam and
Pro free speech but not pro all free speech
Who's a very smart guy, but kind of hard to pinpoint?
speech, who's a very smart guy but kind of hard to pinpoint, who runs a meditation app, but also believes that Israel should just bomb anyone at any time that it thinks.
It is hilarious to be a guy who runs a meditation app and he spends half the time telling people
about breathing and how to self-actualize and the other half of the time telling people about breathing and how to self-actualize
and the other half of the time telling people
that we need to bomb as many children as humanly possible
until Israel feels comfortable.
That's just an interesting archetype of person.
It just is.
Okay, I want everybody right now to breathe.
I want you to breathe in and out. I want you to breathe in and out.
I want you to breathe in and out.
Breathe in and out.
I want to start from your breath
and start from your breathing.
What we need to do is indiscriminately bomb
women and children.
We need to indiscriminately bomb women and children
right now.
Imagine you're a drone.
Feel the freedom of being a drone.
Feel the freedom of being a drone.
I want you to focus on your breath. Focus on your breath and feel the freedom of being a drone. Feel the freedom of being a drone. I want you to focus on your breath.
Focus on your breath and feel the freedom of being a drone.
Where would you fly if you were a drone?
Iran?
I think you'd fly right to Iran.
You'd fly to Iran and eliminate their nuclear capability.
You'd do it before you even had the chance
to find a diplomatic solution.
I want you to breathe.
I want you to breathe in and out right now.
I want you to imagine an apartment complex there's children playing soccer outside
now it's gone it's gone because there were bad people in it now they're all
gone now it's rubble and I know it's sad but it's necessary collateral damage I
want you to say two words collateral damage focus on your breathing focus on
your breathing manifest the reality you want to see do people from Gaza still live there. Absolutely not absolutely not
They're gone. Where are they? We don't know focus on your breathing in and out in and out
It's an interesting archetype of person to be this is what I mean. You can't pinpoint people anymore
It's not as simple as my aunt whose daughter is
non-binary who lives in Massachusetts who's kind of a witch who was a
librarian at a city college feels one way she may end up agreeing with your
pot-bellied drunk uncle from Daytona Beach who's on a boat. you don't know it's not easy anymore to just say you're
this you're that the establishment needs to step in and they are they need to
provide you with somebody who believes in everything and also more importantly nothing not one thing not one thing
Enter a woman who I believe is the establishment choice
For the presidency she is she does not serve by her own admission
She does not serve only one ideology. She has worked for both Bush.
I believe she worked for Obama.
Let's play.
And by the way, she recently told Bernie Sanders, she recently said, I don't want
you to use the word oligarchy.
I don't want you to use the word oligarchy because it doesn't resonate
with the American people.
Here's what that really means.
Stop talking about this thing that exists that I work for
Stop speaking of this
Stop talking about this you're giving away the game. You're giving away the game
She doesn't want
Anyone to have a word for the thing, this blob, that doesn't serve anyone except the financial interest of a small sliver of the population who write humorous pieces for
a magazine in Boston.
Now I want, she had a very close Senate race, this woman.
She had a very close Senate race.
Now she had the edge in donations because the donations pour in and we know where they come from this
is what happens all of the sudden someone from the intelligence community
decides they actually have a passion for democratic civil engagement and they
want to be a congressman or a senator. They always could they come from the intelligence community
They say I'm sick of poisoning people at different embassies
I want to be in front of the camera and they they all this time this person starts to be very well funded
They start to show up out of nowhere
This bitch who no one knows about gives the speech when Donald Trump gives a state of the union where whatever you think of Trump
He is killing. He's got a young black kid with brain cancer
He's like you're the secretary of defense or whatever. He did. It was killer
Now this bitch out of nowhere is just like Barack Obama by the way plugged it and Bill Clinton
And and George W Bush to be fair. I mean he came out of what Texas he was you know, I
Mean we knew his parents, but this guy just emerged these people emerged and he was the governor of Texas
He had won an election, but a lot of these people just emerge
So this woman Eliza slotkin emerges
From the depths of Langley, Virginia from some basement under the CIA. We don't know who this woman is
She ran a very tight Senate race
She got a lot of funding and a lot of money and all we know about her so far really is that she's here to
promote bipartisanship and she's against wokeness and the Democratic Party's got to with the wo-
but don't speak about the oligarchy, she's not woke, but she doesn't want you to talk about the oligarchy.
But don't speak about the oligarchy. She's not woke, but she doesn't want you to talk about the oligarchy
So now here she's from the CIA and
She's now emerged. She's now the senator and it was a tight race But she somehow all of the fundraise all of the money started coming in and she had these high-profile
endorsements
Here is one of her
Campaign ads why she's running.
Eliza Slotkin for the United States Senate Go.
For me, Michigan is where it all started.
No matter where I've gone in my life,
no matter who I've met,
nothing is more important to me than this place.
My call to public service started on 9-11.
It was my second day of grad school in New York City,
and by the time the smoke cleared,
I knew I wanted a career in public service protecting my country.
I was recruited by the CIA to be a Middle East analyst and
sent overseas to do three tours in Iraq alongside our military.
I came back to work in the White House under two presidents,
one Republican, and one Democrat.
But no matter what crises I've lived through,
nothing tested me more than when my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer.
And she didn't have health insurance.
She had let it lapse after many years of being gouged by the insurance companies
because she happened to have a preexisting condition.
It was like a grenade went off in our lives.
I took a leave of absence, came home to Michigan,
and the same week and the same month
that we're desperately trying to get our lifesaving care
was the same week and the same month
that we filled out the paperwork for her treatment.
And I killed my own mother.
I killed my own mother to prevent her suffering.
I looked at her and I put a pillow over her head and I killed my mother. Eliza Slotkin everyone.
She is the, sorry about her mother, but this is what we get. I served, of course you served under
two presidents, you were spook. So when you talk about the permanent presidents, you're a spook.
So when you talk about the permanent government, you talk about it, this is how you're being sold, this woman.
Who's showing up.
It's how you were going to be sold. Pete Buttigieg, I'm gay, and I was the mayor of a town in Indiana that no one heard of, which was actually... I mean, the town Pete Buttigieg was the mayor of was probably just one of those...
When you showed up to it
It was just cops stopped you and told you you couldn't go further
It was like one of those alien movies where they just coordinate off the town and there were borders you couldn't get to it
It's like what was a mayor what?
He's another one. They're threatened. They throw these people at you from like the bowels of the government
They're like you're gay your mother's dead
You're black.
Everybody's got... Eliza Slotkin. Now get up her quote about Bernie Sanders. I
want to see that because she went at Bernie Sanders and said, I'd like you to
stop using the term oligarchy. And Bernie Sanders actually responded to her
and was basically like, hey, I think the American people are a lot smarter than you think they
are, which she responded, oh God, I hope they're not. God, I hope they're not. I hope they
don't. I don't find out it was me to put the bombs in the elevator shafts. Eliza Slotkin, Democrat Michigan, was recently discussing the Democrats' brand crisis.
And now, by the way, why is she an expert in this?
Why is this woman an expert in the Democrat brand crisis?
Is it interesting that this woman who's very new to politics is an expert in the Democratic
brand crisis?
She knows everything about it. doesn't this feel odd?
She her campaigns well funded. She's out to work for two president. My call to serve started when
the towers were smoking. My call to serve started at 911. I decided I want a career in public service.
So I went into the Central Intelligence Agency? That's odd.
I went into the CIA and I worked in the White House under two presidents and I realized
that nothing really mattered and that reality is what we make it.
We create reality.
My mother got diagnosed with cancer.
Guess what?
I don't even have a mother.
Who gives a shit?
Vote for me.
I'm kind of fat because it doesn't. So here she goes. Here
she goes. While recently discussing the brand crisis told, I'm sorry I said fat. That was
wrong. While recently discussing the brand crisis told Politico, is Gavin Newsom still
doing his podcast by the way? I, I, we've tried, tried to get on. They said no. Um,
while recently discussing the Democrats brand crisis, crisis, Eliza Slotkin told
Politico that the party ought to avoid using the term oligarchy because it doesn't resonate
outside coastal institutions and suggested that the Democrats say kings instead. She wants them to say kings Here's why she wants them to say kings because it's fucking retarded
And if you say kings you easily mean Donald Trump
Kings if you say oligarchy that means there's an entire class of people that are a problem
There's an entire network of people that are a problem. There's an entire network of people that are a
problem, but if you say kings you can you can isolate Donald Trump and Elon Musk
and I've criticized Elon Musk a bunch, I will probably later on in this episode,
but that's why she wants to use the word gang. By the way there's a meeting
where that's decided, okay? She doesn't serve any political party, she serves a
group of people who meet in the woods and they tell her
They have some food for her and she goes there and they say listen to me. We're not doing oligarchy
We're saying Kings
Then they might not even tell her the reason but I'll tell you the reason so we can hang all the problems on Trump and
Moss when Sanders talks about an oligarchy, it means there's systems
that prop people up. There's a network of people. We don't like that. We don't want that. Just say
the word kings. So this woman who is a senator or wherever she's from here pops up. And they tried
to do this with Buttigieg. They tried to do this with Buttigieg. He's the mayor of South Bend,
Indiana, and he was in Iraq. This is something that, and again, it's not the
Democrats, the Republicans try to do this all the time, and it's not any political party.
It has nothing to do with politics. It has everything to do with an establishment candidate
that makes everybody feel comfortable. Mitt Romney, Bain Capital. Mormon Mitt Romney, who ran out there and was like,
I am a billionaire's billionaire.
I like money, and money likes me,
and daddy likes everybody getting their beak wet.
That was the establishment candidate
for the Republicans, Mitt Romney.
There were other people in that primary.
You don't remember any of them, but they are.
But they always coalesce around a certain person they wanted Ron DeSantis
Because he would have been more malleable more controllable, but he was a goofball and today didn't work
He had the charisma of a shoe and he couldn't get in so it didn't work
But they would have been a lot more comfortable with a guy like Ron DeSantis
Okay, the way a lot of this works is they're comfortable with two types of people.
One, someone who they have a control file on.
Someone who's done illegal things that they know about and they can say,
Remember this? Yeah!
Or, they like people, if they don't have a control file on you,
you are such a hollow shell of
ambition that you simply are a careerist where advancement is your only thing.
You will tear the flesh off someone's face with your teeth to get ahead.
These are the two types of people they like.
They like these empty suit careerists who are just climbing.
They're institutionalist.
They know how to climb through institutions and you know, that's a very, very, very useful
person for them.
The other type of person is someone who they're just controlling.
They were drunk, they fuck people they shouldn't of different age groups, they're on drugs,
they're cheating on their wife, they're secretly gay, whatever it is.
You know, that's these are the types of people that they like. And this woman who's in the CIA, who's a perfect, again, this is a perfect
resume.
Because they think that the American people still buy into this. That's why this is a resume that they think is good.
They think the American people go, yeah, CIA, the Iraq war, good times. Good times, good
times. Remember that? Those breezy summer nights here in the bombs dropping
Fallujah, good times. God, good times. I was getting my dick sucked on the lake and
watching Abu Ghraib torture videos, good times. They're so out of it.
And just having spent the weekend at Harvard, these are sweet kids, but they're in this
bubble too where they're like, why don't you spend time in LA?
And I'm like, I don't know, the entertainment industry collapsed.
The vibes are bad.
And one of them is like, well, what do you mean it collapsed?
People still watch things.
People still watch shows.
I'm like, listen to me.
You have no idea what you're talking about.
I know so many talented people that have a gun in their mouth right now,
but they're so far removed from anything.
And that's why you got to remember these guys who are pushing her out are so far
removed. They think now we all know that after 9-11, it was kind of fun.
And I even talk about it. It was nice candlelight vigils
We're gonna get them fucking let's get them. We all remember that but by like
2004 or five people kind of realized what was going on
But they think it's the good times
That's what they we we want to go back to a middle east war couple of cold bruskies and a middle east war
That's why they're fucking saber rattling with Iran.
They go, let's, let's do it again.
Let's do it again.
That's what they think people want.
They want a CIA agent.
That's how lost they are.
They think the American people are fans of a, an agent from the Senate.
We all know what the CIA does. And this is what I mean.
This is what is so funny about this country.
The kid from Harvard goes, what do you mean the entertainment industry is collapsing?
If you went up to a regular random person on the street, on the street, a community
college dropout like moi and said, how the entertainment industry doing nine times out of ten?
They go not good. They go. I know that they go not great
They go I jerk off all day for free whatever's going on and good
But at the most prestigious
Institution these people completely have no idea what's going on
So these people by the way that are throwing her out there or mayor Pete or any of these people who make us?
Remember the Iraq War
Are not good. We don't want to hear the words Middle East the words Middle East are
Not words. I want to hear from anybody don't say middle eat do not come into my home and say middle unless you're talking about something
You've bought in Dubai and show me pictures of it. I want to see renderings
But other than that, I want to see renderings of what's going on in Dubai. It's a capital of luxury right now, but if
You are I wanted to get involved in an investment group building things in Dubai
But I can't I don't have the fucking money to invest it don't have the net worth Here, maybe I should talk to those Harvard boys, but here's the thing
This is how out of it. They are they keep putting people in front of you who want to talk about
9-eleven and the Middle East
That's what they want it that's what they think America's clamoring for more of that more CIA, please
more CIA, please
And I'm all for the Sam Harris rationalist shit that he wants to do, right?
Let's be rational and logical and all of that. Okay, and what's that?
And why are we being so rational so we can kill all these kids? Well, that doesn't what?
That's why we're being rational and logical
and kill all these kids. Well, that doesn't, what?
That's why we're being rational and logical.
Breathe, I want you to breathe right now.
I want you to imagine that you're a drone
and you're about to strike an apartment building
full of families.
Some of those families are in Hamas.
Breathe in and out.
You have to start from your diaphragm.
Don't breathe from your mouth, breathe from your diaphragm.
I want you to manifest the world you would like to see.
Is there fire in it?
Is there fire in the world you wanna see?
Oh, it's a righteous fire and it burns bright.
It burns bright, doesn't it?
Breathe in and out.
It's such a fun archetype.
I'm all for rational behavior and thinking
and I don't wanna live in a Christian theocracy
or a Muslim theocracy or any theocracy
But I also think and then people go well well well well well well well well well
Well, what do you want Hamas to it? You want to live in Gaza? You know, I'm awesome
Hey, hey, hey, hey, is that the choice? Is that the choice?
I'm I'm sick. I'm saying I'm simply saying let's tone it down.
Tone it down.
Chill it out.
I'm not ending the party.
I'm walking in.
I'm Cool Dad going, let's,
I know you gotta get a few hostages out.
Cool Dad says, just relax.
We don't want the cops here, okay?
We don't want the cops here.
Chill it out a little bit, okay?
Do you have to kill someone every 30 seconds on TikTok?
Every 30 seconds, there's somebody,
there's a murder, I'm watching a murder.
I'm trying to eat, I'm trying to eat lunch.
I got a lobster roll half in my mouth
and I've got murder on the phone.
So I'm suggesting it.
And then everybody just, there's no,
everybody's like, well, isn't it important that Israel beats Hamas ago Israel beat has beaten Hamas
They've beaten the Hama they've beaten them
already
They've won. Yeah, but there are still hama
I think there's still there was still like Alqaeda and I said remember that what are they what
this crazy idea that you're going to eradicate every
Person in the world that has a problem with your country or could use violence against your country
You'd have to kill everyone you can't kill
everyone
With Russia Ukraine. I've heard people not only at these nice prestigious schools,
but I've heard very smart people say to me it's a I've said
we're spending a lot of money on Ukraine and they've said to
me it's a good cost benefit analysis to drain the Russian
military spending this money and drain the Russian military.
Now there is a moral question there. Ukraine and Russia
are throwing 18, 19, 20 year old kids at this war. They're going to gyms and conscripting them.
They're making them sign up for the military. They're throwing bodies at this conflict. And
the rationale I've heard from people is it's a good cost benefit analysis to weaken the Russian
military by funding the Ukraine. What about the 18, 19, 20 year olds whose bodies are being thrown thrown at the conflict and people don't care. They don't care.
It does not move them at all to suggest in every war, there is a certain
amount of blood where you have to say to yourself what the fuck is going on.
It doesn't mean you agree with Hamas.
Doesn't mean you think Vladimir Putin is a stellar individual.
It means that you think that there needs to be some agreement that stops bloodshed.
Okay, this this crazy logical dance everyone does where they go.
Remember Afghanistan were there for 20 years and we left and then the Taliban got the country again.
We were there for 20 years and we left and then the Taliban got the country again
When we left if you were against us leaving which I'm sure somebody was
I'm sure somebody in the bowels of the intelligence community was like do we really have to go?
It's only been 20 years
We're just getting going and then they were like no no no no the public doesn't even know we're there like that's how much The public's checked out they don't even know we're there and if they find out people remember that when we had that sloppy withdrawal people Were going we're still in Afghanistan people go wait a minute. We're still there
People really didn't even know we were there and the Taliban marched right in and they took the country
My cousin has an aura picture frame and I was just at her house and her and her husband
and their children love it.
It is so cool.
It allows you to put all these pictures, fun family memories on a digital frame.
Like for me, I would go, oh, that's my parents getting divorced and then my mother being
diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Here's my father playing guitar for no one.
All the great things that I remember.
You can also put your precious memories in an Aura frame.
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Don't take my word for it.
It was named so by Wirecutter.
And it's easy to see why.
There's unlimited storage.
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And it is so simple to set up.
Just plug it in and share away.
And her little son who's four was using it
and there, or maybe he's nine.
The point is this, he uses it, they all love it.
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this is what you want for Mother's Day. Hey mom, here's all of the memories that
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Give it to your schizophrenic mother.
Now all these people yelling about the deal Trump's making
for the Ukrainian mineral, you thought this was free?
Did you think this was free?
I'm sorry.
Did you think this was free?
Do you think we were doing this pro bono?
How stupid are all of you?
Did you think we were doing this pro bono?
That we were giving the Ukraine all of this money for nothing?
You really thought that?
You were like, God, we've turned a leaf.
We've turned a new leaf.
We became humanitarians overnight.
This is amazing.
Did you think it was free that this was a freebie?
They were getting something on the arm cart Blanche
You thought that with a brain in your head you really believe that what Trump made this deal
We're we're taking half the yeah, that's was the whole thing. That's why
When things like this happen you try to solve them quickly
Because now of
course
This wasn't free and if you thought it was free you were you're fucking crazy
The plan was always to get paid back with the rare earth
Minerals and I guess the fucking I don't know bread there the
bread basket of Europe the sourdough and ciabatta and whatever else they're going
I like a good ciabatta what are they doing there apparently it's the bread
basket of Europe so it's the grain fields and the farmland but more
importantly is the rare earth minerals that they have and Lindsey Graham said
that and we played it on the show of course course, it's not free. You think it's free
That's why when things like this happen there's always a
Rationale and I'm not saying it's a great idea for Iran to have a nuclear weapon But there's a bunch of ways to deter them to get around that before you launch a full-scale invasion of Iran
by the way
It's a little crazy launch a full-scale invasion of Iran, by the way.
It's a little crazy.
Elon Musk is leaving Doge within, I believe, 100 days.
Or Elon Musk leaves Doge with final speech
during 100 days cabinet meeting.
Fox News' Jesse Waters had all these guys on.
And you know what the problem with these people is?
They're young.
It was a lot of the Doge stuff they did was sloppy, but they're young. And I'm, it was, it was a lot of the Doge stuff they did was sloppy,
but they're young and nobody wants really to hear from young people. And if Doge was
just a bunch of older people, it would have been, it would have looked better. They're
just too young. And one of them's like, my name's Big Balls and I'm whatever. If it was
just older people, it would have, it would have, what if he got really smart and
Just the young guys could do all the you know, whatever they're doing the hacking and he just cast a
bunch of people to be doge
Like cast people that don't look
Like they just like fell out of a dorm room
But Elan's going and I think cuz I predicted this Trump is this is not gonna work and the main fight in the Trump administration right now is
between the Bannonite populist nationalist wing and the tech utopian
futurists and that is a fun wing because you know and they're both fun you have
Christian nationalist populists and then you have tech futurists who believe they are God. And so it's
just fun. And by the way this is a lesson for the Democrats, that's how to
create a coalition. You take a bunch of people who have nothing in common, you go
you're a Christian nationalist, you're a tech utopian who believes you are God and
you're gonna live forever, let's all get together and throw a party. Here's a red hat. Here's a red hat. None of these people agree on anything
Mark Andreessen doesn't agree with Steve Bannon on anything
Bannon wants tariffs. He wants borders. These guys want visas. They want to bring in like, you know, like Vivek
I was saying they want to bring in a bunch of people from India and China so they could pay them less
They want to stack them in bunk beds
and have them fucking code and do all this shit
that fucking Americans can't do.
Here's Elon Musk.
This is a little bit of that Fox News piece right here.
Yeah.
He's the only one that can do that.
He can't get away with it.
Well, Mr. President, now they say I wear a lot of hats.
I mean, this is just not hitting.
Even my hat has a hat.
Even my hat has a hat.
Yeah, it's just.
So the American people voted for secure borders, safe cities,
and sensible spending.
And that's what they've gotten.
Tremendous amount has been accomplished.
All right, all right, all right.
Listen, if he's gonna do this,
and I'm not against in principle
what they're trying to do, because by the way,
there is trillions of dollars missing from this government.
Now who took it?
Remember when Donald Rumsfeld pre-9-11 was like,
yeah, we don't know, it's two and a half trillion.
There's a lot of money missing.
There's a lot of money that falls
through the cracks thousand percent, but but he
him as
Being the leader of this is optics are terrible like him doing it the optics are not good again
Do it behind the scenes and cast somebody it's like with slotkin now. Now they're failing but that's what they, it's what the establishment does.
Take a, learn from them.
She's not pulling the strings but they go,
We like her, she looks like a mom, yet she tells everyone she, you know, she went to the Middle East
and tortured a bunch of people. We think they'll like that. We think that'll play in the panhandle of Florida.
That's what they should do with Dosh. Instead of a bunch of college kids running around,
you want to at least cast
some people that look a little older,
a little bit more, and there were some, and to be fair,
there were some of them in that Fox News piece
that were a little older.
I just think that Elon
is not good
for that brand.
That is something that I think, I don't know him.
I met him one time at a New Year's party
and he was very nice to me.
I don't think he's an evil person.
I think he's a person who's trying to be funny.
And as I kind of saw it, that Harvard Lampoon,
really that's one of the worst things in the world
is to try to be funny and fail at it.
It really is terrible.
It's one of the hardest things to watch. When someone who wants to be funny tries to be funny and fail at it. It really is terrible. It's one of the hardest things to watch.
When someone who wants to be funny,
tries to be funny, there's enough cool things
about Elon Musk, please just don't try to be funny.
You do spaceship shit, just have that be it.
Have that be it.
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Prince Harry, by the way, shout out to Pierce Morgan Morgan who not only had me on but I
Enjoy him and he said get Pierce Morgan's Instagram up because God he fucking nailed this He had a great quote about Prince Harry
Pierce Morgan said this this is his most recent post about
Prince Harry who?
You know he said
Where was this was this?
Was this not on his IG?
He said, I stand, but no, his real, not his show, him.
Get his personal one.
I follow his personal one, it's more fun.
Yes, let me read this.
Read it, read it, producer,
because I want the wording exactly right, you're closer to it.
I stand with King Charles against his treacherous rat of a son, Harry.
Correct, that is correct.
By the way, that is correct, that is correct, that is correct.
Who's with me?
Piers Morgan, say it again, play it again, Sam, say it.
I stand with King Charles against his treacherous rat of a son, Harry.
Who's with me?
I am, I am, Piers, I am with you, against his treacherous rat of a son Harry. Who's with me? I am, I am, Pierce! I am with you because Harry is a rat and he's treacherous.
He's a treacherous rat and his father's dying of cancer and he's on an interview.
Yeah, let's play a little bit of this. This is absolutely repulsive.
This Prince Harry, he's a gutless human being.
His father's got cancer and this guy, he just sucks.
He's still, they're still whining about bullshit, these people.
I mean it really is such a fucking nightmare you have a dad who's got cancer
Who's fighting a battle and he might not win it and then you're on an interview whining about your family
All right. Let's take a little listen here. I
Can't see a world in which I would be bringing my wife and children back to the UK
The things that they the things that they're going to miss is, well, everything.
I love my country.
I always have done, despite what some people in that country have done.
So I miss the UK.
I miss parts of the UK.
Of course I do.
And I think that it's really quite sad
that I won't be able to show my children my homeland.
There is a lot of control and ability in my father's hands.
Ultimately, this whole thing could be resolved through him.
Not necessarily by intervening, but by-
He has cancer.
Allowing the experts
to do what is necessary and to carry out an RMB. That said, this all was initiated under a previous government.
There is now a new government.
I have had it described to me once people knew about the facts
that this is a good old fashioned establishment stitch up,
and that's what it feels like.
There have been so many disagreements,
differences between me and some of my family.
This is the problem.
Him and this woman want more security.
They were supposed to live on the property
and they get the security being in the castle.
They don't want that.
They want to live somewhere else
and then have the royal family pay for their security.
And the royal family's like, hey man, um, we offered you a nice cottage on the grounds of the castle.
And enough, like, what is it with you people?
He's got enough money. They're rich.
They can pay for their own security. This is the, these are two, they're con artists.
And they're, they're con... They're con artists.
And they're... They're con... They're like, number one,
I guess stop doing things that make people want to kill you.
That's number one. But... Stop doing that!
But number two, you're fine. You're safe.
You'll have enough security.
This is like a fake-ish... They're con artists.
And this has been their sticking point is the security.
Keep... Keep playing this goon.
And this has been their sticking point is the security. Keep playing this goon.
This current situation that has been ongoing for five years with regards to human life and safety
is the sticking point. It is the only thing that's left.
Of course some members of my family will never forgive me for writing a book.
Of course they will never forgive me for writing a book Of course, they will never forgive me for
lots of things
This exactly my book comes out. I'm attacking him. I'll be saying the same thing in six months
There is I
Would I would love I would love reconciliation with my family then call them you. You're on the BBC. You're on a news show.
This guy's on a news show.
I would love a reconciliation with my family.
Then call.
Supposedly they won't take his call.
I wouldn't either.
I've always, there's no point in continuing to fight anymore.
As I said, life is precious.
I don't know how much longer my father has.
precious. I don't know how much longer my father has. He won't speak to me because of this security stuff. But it would be nice to reconcile. As I learned through the First
Nations throughout Canada, because of the Invictus Games, their goal in life was always
truth and reconciliation. I turned around to them in many conversations and I said, right, but...
As I learned from the savages that we imprisoned many years ago, their goal in life was reconciliation.
This guy, he's demanding security.
They're paranoid.
They think everyone's trying to kill...
By the way, these are the worst type of people the people that
No matter what can never have like enough
Security around they're clearly safe. They're click. They they have security
They've been offered a place to live on the grounds of a fucking castle and they just they want like around the clock
full
security Who's what is happening? It like that's the only reason and they just they want like around the clock full security
who's what is happening here like that's the only reason that this guy is still
in this multi-year war with his cancer-stricken father is because he
doesn't he he doesn't have enough security who all right get him out of
here get him out of here reconcile with him out of here. Reconcile with your family. You fishwife.
That's an English insult. Fishwife. Mark Zuckerberg says Americans, the average American has fewer
than three friends but thinks AI can fix that. So let's just take a glimpse of what's coming.
I want, I want, because people say to me like, you're very critical of the tech people and sometimes I can be and some of them
I like like that guy
Chamath whatever his name is I like him, but and I like the other ones to the other criminals
I like them, but I want you let's play this clip here. This is Mark Zuckerberg talking about
Creating
Using AI to create friends for Pete. Does this seem and I'm asking a question again. I don't want to seem judgmental here
Does this seem like the right way forward?
To any to anyone is anyone listening to this?
Thinking that this is the right way forward for society to have your friends be artificial intelligence
and then eventually the people that you are sexually attracted to be artificial intelligence.
I'm just at, because that's the plan. Again, this is coming from him.
So that's the plan is to just have all of your relationships in life predominantly be AI.
I'm curious as is that a good way forward for society?
Again, Mark Zuckerberg.
I do think that people are going to use AI
for a lot of these social tasks.
Already one of the main things
that we see people using that AI for
is kind of talking through difficult conversations that they need to have with people in their life.
It's like, okay, I'm having this issue with my girlfriend or whatever.
Help me have this conversation.
Or I need to have this hard conversation with my boss at work.
How do I have that conversation?
That's pretty helpful.
And then I think as the personalization loop kicks in, and the AI just starts to get to
know you.
By the way, what he's basically saying, if you listen, is don't learn how to be a person.
That's literally what he's saying.
What he is saying, if you listen to what he is saying, I mean, genuinely, if you listen
to what he's saying, he's basically saying, saying hi I know the skills you think you need to have to be a human being
Here's the good news. You don't
better I
Think that will just be really compelling
You know one thing just from working on social media for a long time is
You know, one thing just from working on social media for a long time is there's the stat that I always think is crazy.
The average American, I think, has I think it's fewer than three friends, three people
that they'd consider friends.
And the average person has demand for meaningfully more.
I think it's like 15 friends or something, right?
I guess there's probably some point where you're like, all right, I'm just too busy.
I can't deal with more people.
But the average person wants more connectivity connection than they have.
So there's a lot of questions that people ask of stuff like, OK, is this going to replace
kind of in-person connections or real life connections?
And my default is that the answer to that is probably no.
I think that there are all these things
that are better about kind of physical connections
when you can have them.
But the reality is that people just don't have
the connection and they feel more alone
a lot of the time than they would like.
So I think that a lot of these things that today there might
be a little bit of a stigma around.
Yes.
Yes.
I would guess that over time we will
find the vocabulary as a society to be
able to articulate why that is valuable
and why the people who are doing these things
are like why they are rational for doing it
and how it is adding value for
their lives.
But also, I think that the field is very early.
I think there are a handful of companies and stuff who are doing virtual therapists.
There's virtual girlfriend type stuff.
Okay.
So basically, what he's saying is that there's a little stigma right now to probably having an AI girlfriend or
friends, but that in time, we're going to come up with the vocabulary to justify why
those things are valuable.
Now I want to unpack this a little bit because this is where we're going.
There's no doubt about it.
There's no doubt about it. There's no doubt about it.
There's absolutely not a question
as to what these people want.
They do not want you to be a human being.
They do not want you to have human connections.
He goes, well, I guess it's probably better
to have human connect like it might be like
they probably not like it's hard to make friends. It's hard to have a girlfriend. It's hard to have
a boyfriend. It's hard to date. Everything is hard. Everything in life that is rewarding is
ultimately hard. But if you were going to turn people into
Antisocial Digital slaves that are obedient. So wait a minute, by the way, if you have all these AI friends, they can turn them off
They could turn them off. They could turn your AI girlfriend off
They could turn all of these things off. So if you have arranged your social life with AI friends, they can all go goodbye. Bye
Okay
If you rip human connections away from people
And feed their emotional needs with artificial intelligence
Tell them that they can rehearse conversations with artificial intelligence
Tell them that every skill, a communicative skill
that they need to learn how to develop,
those hard conversations that do suck,
that are tough, that you get to tell your friend about later
and go, fuck, that was brutal.
They're saying there's a great cheat code
to being a human being.
And here's the cheat code, be less of one. That's the cheat code, be less being a human being. You just, and here's the cheat code, be less of one.
That's the cheat code.
Be less of a human being.
I will die on the hill that this stuff's not good.
I'm telling you.
I will die on the hill that this stuff is not good
because it is taking in life what is challenging,
what is difficult, what is ugly? What is messy? what is ultimately
human and
Replacing it with something that is clean that is efficient and that is easy
And I'm telling you and I know that you feel like this is the final thing. I know people are like
Well, what about door dash isn't that easy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that is easier But you can still have a human friends
You can still put your dick in a person or have the person put their dick in you or whatever
You could still procreate and have children get married whatever
This is and the way that they're kind of they're throwing it out is like listen in time
We're just gonna find the vocabulary for why you don't need human friendships that's what he said goes
we're just gonna find the vocabulary in time for why you don't need a human
girlfriend we're gonna find the vocabulary for that basically what he
said is we haven't found the vocabulary for that we haven't found the words yet
for that what does that world look like?
Where you're hanging out with your AI friends. What does that world look like?
What does it work? And then your AI friends start to influence you, they start to program you. Your AI friends start to tell you
things. You start to learn things from your AI. And who programs all these AI friends?
You start to learn things from your AI and who programs all these AI friends By the way all these AI friends and girlfriends and all these new characters in your life
Who's in charge of them and who can shut them off?
This guy that guy that's the guy and others
Like him you do have to realize that there is something very creepy about this.
There's something odd about that.
And I'm not trying to be like one of these Luddites who hates technology and
doesn't think that AI has any good applications.
I think it has absolutely some good applications.
But listen, I get it.
I make a living on YouTube, right?
I make a living doing standup comedy.
I'm your mother on Netflix.
I make a living talking to people with technology.
That's why Lampoon is so interesting to see.
It's like this historic thing that is,
it's valuable to me only in the sense of like
going to a museum because now
comedy is driven primarily digitally.
Everybody's just, you know, out there doing things.
The gatekeepers are kind of done and those old legacy institutions comedically are certainly suffering, if not completely eliminated.
So I'm not a leadite. I don't think we should not have technology.
But when the biggest guy in the game is telling you your girlfriend and your friends are going to be AI,
and that the only problem with that is that we haven't figured out a way to describe it yet
We haven't found a word for it yet. You should start thinking about
But again, I don't want to get too stressed out stress is a killer the cortisol levels stress you out. I want you to breathe
Inhale and then I want you to exhale I
Want you to breathe I want you to exhale. I want you to breathe. I want you to go to me.
I want you to picture that you are sitting on a mountain.
I want you to be on a mountain with me. Be on a mountain right now.
Be on a mountain right now with me.
And the lights, the night sky is lit up with stars and drone strikes.
And I want you to breathe.
And in the distance you just see white smoke rising up
and that's justice
I want you to breathe with me and hear the screams
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
understand, understand it's necessary
the indiscriminate bombing of civilians is necessary
just breathe with me.
In and out from the diaphragm, breathe.
Just in and out.
Just breathe with me.
Just breathe with me.
If you have a problem with this, ask your AI girlfriend.
Your AI girlfriend gets it.
She's in the IDF.
Just breathe in and out.
In and out.
Tim Dillon Show every Saturday.
Breathe.