The Tim Dillon Show - 458 - A Police State, Candace’s Lawsuit, & The La Quinta Promise
Episode Date: August 16, 2025Tim explains why Americans need to fight about dumb stuff again, finds out he’s named in the Candace Owens vs. Brigitte Macron Lawsuit, warns about the militarization of police in Washington, DC, le...arns about a strange development at a Florida La Quinta Inn, and tells us all why that establishment is so important to this country. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://punchup.live/TimDillon Ethos Protect Your Family With Life Insurance From Ethos. Get your FREE quote today at https://ethos.com/tim Hims ED To Get Simple, Online Access To Personalized, Affordable Care for ED Visit https://hims.com/TIM for your FREE online visit Today! ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TimDillonShow?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds?si=e8000ed157e441c8 Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon episode, the podcast.
I'm going on not too many hours of sleep.
I had a lot of fun with Tony Hinchcliffe and Joe DeRosa last night in Manhattan at the stand comedy club and restaurant.
free ad for those dirt bags
whom I love who own that club
and we had a great time
best comedy club food in the world by the way
if you haven't been to the stand comedy club
and restaurant owned by two criminals
who are endeared to me
go because it is excellent
the food is excellent
it is
and the comedy is
it is happening
food is excellent
and the comedy is
provably going on.
It's there.
It is happening.
And some of it is quite good.
Some of it is quite excellent.
Truly.
And we had fun with DeRosa
and Hinchcliffe just talking shit.
Having fun.
Had a couple of cigarettes,
which I no longer do,
but the throat.
And tomorrow opening for Louis
at Forest Hills Stadium.
Louis was very nice.
to ask me to open for him
on his tour. He's on a crazy tour all
over the world
with P. Diddy
and they are touring and he
asked me to
open it up
and I will and I am.
So how about that?
So it's a lot of fun
turning our attention
to Gaza. No, I'm kidding. Every week, you know with this?
Every week, I mean,
And it really is, I mean, the situation is worsening.
And I don't want to talk about it every week.
But then I feel bad if I don't talk about it.
But who really cares?
I mean, I do a show in front of an inflatable cactus.
I mean, not now I have the summer backdrop.
But you know what I mean?
Like, what are we doing here?
But also, you got to say something about it because it's not good.
But I've been saying things about it for a while.
And it doesn't need to be that.
game. We don't need to play that game of who was first, but I have been saying things about it for
while. Many people in the entertainment industry, the industry that I am in, are now saying
things about it like today. And I'm not saying I was, I was kind of like, I wasn't, I, right after
October 7th was like, take a minute, obviously respond, you know, I wasn't one of those people.
either. I wasn't like on October 8th going crazy in the quad of Columbia campus with like
a burqa on screaming and yelling. I wasn't doing any of that. I am a rational adult who just
kind of like, you know, you wake up, you have an oatmeal, you know, or whatever. And then you
kind of go about your day, but there's a lot of, you know, killing on the social media now.
Sorry, there is.
And I don't like that.
So I say no, cut it out.
And people say to me, well, you don't understand.
And I don't.
And I actually don't.
so that's the statement
we got
we got to go back to this country
fighting about like
the Minnesota Vikings hired a dude
to be a cheerleader
every fight in America now is existential
it's not about dumb crap
we always used a fight about dumb shit
that didn't really matter
like that fat bitch
is trying to get gay marriage overturned
Kim Davis that that court clerk
they tried to make certify a whatever
Look at this twink jumping around with Minnesota.
Now, by the way, you think this is the biggest problem Minnesota has?
Don't they have, like, lots of problems?
But anyway, this is the stuff as a country we were, like, designed to fight about.
We're really good at that.
But now we're fighting about, like, is the election valid?
Is the CIA in a war with the president?
Is the president federalizing the police?
like are the states going to declare war against the federal government by not letting
ice do whatever I'm just saying there's the problems now are not fun they used to be kind of
fun no I mean really obviously not for everyone but we've gotten to a point now where everything
we fight about and everything we're having an argument about is of the utmost importance and
And like, when everything's at an 11, nothing is.
Really?
So it's like everybody's so tired of everything that we need this.
We need the Minnesota Vikings to do something like this.
Because we need to go back to arguing about something that we can even wrap our heads around.
Can't even wrap our head around half of this.
Like Gabbard's out there, Tulsi Gabbard's out there with,
rush a gate and and that's a real thing to be sure but it's hard to wrap your head around that
as a person that isn't like familiar with like whatever the layers of power I mean what
I mean we do this every week you know I mean but at least with this at least with this
people immediately go oh it's a guy doing something a girl did and we don't like it
we're mad about it thank god thank god we have this and more things like it please more things like it
more like uh food items that we don't we don't like or they're very uh contentious people getting
angry about like a food item like i remember years ago uh uh Burger King
did a bacon Sunday and people were like,
this is over the line, you know?
Things like that that make, you know,
cultural conversations and moments.
Yeah, remember the bacon Sunday at Burger King?
People are like, God damn it.
Every now and then, a fast food restaurant puts out something so grotesque.
The KFC double down.
There's a history of these.
There are a history of moments where
fast food companies. Push. Push it over the line. And it makes us all think about what's going on
in our lives and what we've allowed to happen. You know, I'm not saying Russia Gate's not
worthy of looking into. I'm just saying for the regular person out there, it is easier to
see the problem in a bacon Sunday than it is Russia Gate. They don't understand.
They don't know who John Brennan is
or Clapper or Hayden.
Yes, maybe they could all start reading books
and they don't know about the Tallis brothers.
But they know that bacon on a Sunday isn't good
unless it's like a very weird thing
at a fancy restaurant.
Everyone takes one bite of it and goes,
ooh!
But you shouldn't get it through a drive-through.
There's been a long history of these things,
the Double Down,
the Burger King Bacon Sunday.
egregious
thing. So I would like if a fast food restaurant
were to do something egregious
so that we could start fighting about that,
arguing about that, something really like,
you know, it's the falls coming up.
So maybe something, maybe like,
uh, maybe it's a burger and the bun,
is on a cider donut or something like an apple cider donut
or it's a whole pumpkin Sunday
where the whole entire pumpkin is filled with ice cream
and candy for Halloween.
Something that is so heinous
that most people say, wait, stop it now.
Stop it now you're trying to kill us.
You know, it was good that the Minnesota Vikings
hired a male.
They should go, they should do all fat
cheerleaders.
You know, that
none that was on Tucker,
that woman, put
her as a cheerleader. Get the photo of that lovely
nun up.
Put her as a cheerleader. Get people
talking, is what I'm trying to say here.
By the way, these frogs
over in France are mentioning me in the
Candace Owens lawsuit.
What did I do?
Is it my
fault your wife has a dong? Who cares? What is Patrick Bed David? What did he say to Anthony
Weiner? He's like, you try to go, show you your dingling. So what, Brigitte McCrone? She may be,
allegedly, as a dingling. So what? I mentioned in the lawsuit on April 26, Owens appeared on
the Tim Dillon show. And then they do my whole, he's a comedian, podcaster, actor.
they have a better bio for me in the Candace Owens lawsuit
than my agent does, by the way.
The bio in the Candace Owens lawsuit
is actually better than anything CAA has done for me.
Tim Dillon started the show by telling Owens
he was asked about the series while checking into a hotel
and said it has blown up.
Owens replied, oh, everywhere.
I mean, it's the most international thing I've ever done.
So the McCrones are suing Candace
and her appearance on my show is in the lawsuit.
I mean, it's just a moment of pride.
If you've been a fan of this show for a while,
and a lot of you have, I meet people all the time
that have been, you know, listening since 2016 or the beginning.
A lot of people are new, but to think about this,
to be named in a lawsuit is a mark of pride.
the president of France's wife is is suing
Candice Owens who said she was a man
and I mentioned in that lawsuit
and that's actually
because you start this business
you don't know where it's going to go
I don't I didn't know where it was going to go
when I started it
and that's what I'll tell people out there
that are young
and are walking down an uncertain path
to this moment in their life
where they realize it's all actually been worth it.
There's a lot of people that are going,
am I on the right path?
Are the sacrifices worth it?
And the answer is yes
because I'm sitting before you today named in a lawsuit
the president of France's wife
may or may not have a cock.
We're all going to court to figure this out.
We're going to court to figure out
whether the president of France's wife has a cock.
We don't know.
We don't know.
No one knows.
And I mentioned in that lawsuit because I helped further the conversation.
And that, to me, is something special.
Is it a big movie?
Who can't?
No.
But what is?
What?
No.
Who's doing that?
What we're doing is advancing an important conversation in this on this earth.
Does the president of France's wife have a cock or not?
That's what people are thinking about as their kids are laying in a hospital bed.
They're not thinking about how much the bills cost.
They're going, does she have a cock and what's it like?
I mean, I'm just saying it's a proud moment as an American.
Dylan discussed MK Ultra and similar programs.
By the way, this is in a lot.
lawsuit. It's truly amazing. Like I read through it, I read the pages where I was mentioned,
and it is amazing that this, just take a minute, just zoom out for a minute, okay? Because
by the way, and even though I was being facetious about movies, weapons is amazing and naked
gun is great. I saw naked gun and that's great. So I am not as blackpilled on movies as I
was. I do believe, and I'm working on stuff and other people I know we're working on stuff,
very talented people. I think there's a, there's, there's, there's more to this than just,
hey, there's people on the internet all the time, which is great. But there's also the ability
to execute and do things well on other platforms. And I'm not giving up on movies. I don't
think anyone should. I don't think anyone should, contrary to what I may have said last week.
I'm not always right.
Well, when we look at how big podcasting has gotten weirdly,
I don't know why this one did it for me,
the election and the dumb interviews on CNN,
none of it mattered.
My friends are in arenas and stuff.
That didn't matter.
It was this lawsuit.
I just thought it was very funny.
I just started laughing.
I said, isn't that funny that the president of France and his wife
are mentioning my show in,
in a court case about whether his wife has a cock.
And that to me is making it.
That's what it is.
That's what it feels like and it feels good.
I'm in this thing.
I'm in this thing and we're riding till the wheels come off here.
I'm in deep now in this thing of whether or not this man's wife has a cock.
They brought me into it.
They brought me into it.
You start a podcast because you think you're going to have a travelogue on Comedy Central.
That's what I thought.
I was going to get paid to travel around the world and eat things and didn't tell, make jokes about them on television.
Because that's what every comedian wanted.
Between the years of 2010, I'll give you a little comedy history that no one cares about.
Between the era of 2010 and 2015, most comedians were pursuing a travelogue.
Everybody had been living in hellish apartments in Brooklyn or in Los Angeles.
And everybody, their dream was to travel around the country because David Tell had one called insomniac.
And Bourdain, who wasn't a comedian, obviously had the most famous.
famous one called parts unknown and we were like what about a funny travel food leisure joe what about
that and everybody went uh and to their agent manager and said hey man i really want to just travel
and i want to do a travelogue because i like food and i like places no one had a rationale for
why they want they were like i like going places i like traveling and we were all trying to get
travelog so i started a podcast as though as a hey my travelogue was on a tour bus because i was a
tour bus guide at the time making $15 an hour for big bus getting a lot of complaints and and and then i was
like but this is going to be a travelogue where the bus is going to go to different places i'm going
to be on top of it, uh, doing, uh, my analysis.
Uh, and then, and, and, and it's going to be great.
And I'm going to make like a hundred thousand dollars.
That was my dream.
I was like, I'll make a hundred thousand dollars.
Now, I am mentioned in a lawsuit.
The president of France mentioned me in a lawsuit about whether his wife,
has a cock.
Do you see what can happen out there
if you just focus
and trust the process?
Really, trust the process
because I thought
I would be doing really artistic stuff.
But you have to trust it.
The world will find a place for you.
many people doubt this
the world is going to find it you don't choose it by the way
everything's they walk around choosing everything
it's this illusion of our society
that you walk around choosing things
because you choose like me and my friend just got coffee
and you get to choose the little thing
you know you know you sweetener
no
you get to choose that
you know but you don't get to choose
necessarily how the world sees you
or where you fit into the world
you might walk around going, I'm Kevin Costner, but guess what?
You're not.
Number one, you're not.
Number two, he just lost a lot of money on that dumb movie, whatever was called Horizon.
Okay?
And number three, he'd love to be in this lawsuit.
He'd love it.
Kevin Costner would love to be in this lawsuit about whether the president of France's wife has a cock
or a pussy
or something in between
or nothing like a doll
we don't know
I got in this going
oh I'll be I'll have a show
because I was like I liked curb your enthusiasm
I go how funny
isn't that funny
but you got to trust the process
you end up where you belong
and this is such an interesting
moment here
it's such an interesting moment to be in a cultural conversation
that matters this much to people
you know and I know that people are going to
not get it
they're not going to get it
they're not going to get it
they go oh well what is what are you guys doing
what are you podcasters doing that's going to stand the test of time
a lot of people are saying that
what are you and my answer to
that is fascism.
That will, I'm pretty sure that'll last for a few years,
but I kid.
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I don't love this takeover of this militarized police.
I don't love it.
I do understand we have a crime problem in cities.
I'm not blind to it.
I get it.
I see people all the time and I go,
that's a problem, not in a racial way.
I'll just see someone who sparks my concern.
As someone who seems like they're on drugs
or a shifty-looking character, you know?
and I'll say
somebody's got to deal with that
but it's got to be the cops right
we don't need National Guard
or do we
I don't know that we do
all of the stuff that's happening right now
the militarized police
the you know
Palatier building the list
I don't love all of this
it seems like the precursor
to the next thing
and the next thing might be much worse than this one.
Maybe not.
But what are they, is this, get up, what is this?
Big Balls got beat up.
Elon Musk's guy got beat up.
And then now we've got the military in D.C.
Because he tried to help a carjacking victim.
Well, that's your first mistake.
I don't get involved, by the way.
So this guy Big Balls, Edward Corsetine.
He does something heroic.
I think he tries to help a carjacking victim.
Here's why I'll never help anyone.
Ready?
Friend of mine helps a woman getting hassled on the train.
A guy takes out a knife or a box cutter.
I forget.
It doesn't matter.
He slices my friend's face.
My friend then is in court with this guy.
The chick he was helping goes in.
testifies on behalf of the guy who was roughing her up.
That was all I needed to hear.
A 19-year-old man known as Big Balls who played a key role in the Doge initiative
to shrink the government was assaulted over the weekend in Washington.
He was assaulted by 10 juveniles near DuPont Circle around 3 a.m. on Sunday,
according to a police report.
Two 15-year-olds were arrested as they attempted to flee the scene.
a black iPhone 16 valued a thousand was also reported stolen.
President Donald Trump posted a photo on his social media.
Now, I think this kid, not a kid, he's a dude, this guy.
I think he tried to help a carjacking victim and then he was assaulted by all these children.
Well, that's what happened.
Corsetine told the officers the assailants approached him outside his vehicle while he was with a woman
identified in the report as his significant other and made a comment about taking it.
Oh.
He told officers that he got the other person into the vehicle just before he was attacked.
So he's at 3 a.m., he's hanging out outside of his car with a woman.
supposedly Elon Musk tweeted
A gang of about a dozen young men
tried to assault a woman in her car at night in D.C.
I don't know if that's true, by the way.
Because the Big Ball's guy saying he was standing by his car.
And he was saying a bunch of kids went up to him
and they're like, we're going to steal your car.
Whatever. The point is, I don't know if he's heroic anymore, though.
But I'm not saying that's, I mean, whatever.
You fought back against East Jerusalem.
children. Good for him. I hate children. Like violent children running around the cities.
I'm so against that. I crusaded for years, well, not years, but months against those white, that white gang in Arizona, the Gilbert Coons.
Roaming bands of children that are violent are a problem, and I think they should go to the Ukraine.
and I've said that, and I don't, and so now having seen that is what Israel is doing bad?
Put your thinking caps on.
My point is this.
It's a violent city, D.C.
These are violent cities are violent, folks.
They're just violent.
What are you going to do?
I don't know that you could have.
You've got to beef up the police force.
You don't want to military.
No one's going to want to visit this country.
Tourism's already dropping.
Vegas hotel rooms are down like 33%.
Nobody wants to be in a city where there's military everywhere.
It's like after 9-11.
It wasn't like great when there was just people like National Guard walking around for years after 9-11.
It gives you this eerie feeling.
I don't think anybody wants to really visit.
a city where there's just going to be like
National Guard everywhere
I don't
I mean
I mean this is now
if you visit America this is what you see
by the way
make this louder if you visit
the United States of America
on a summer trip
this is what you got
What are they doing that really cool.
What are they doing?
I mean, it really, listen, you need cops,
but you got to just have cops.
Can't put the military everywhere in the city.
It's like this country really does have a fascist kind of wet dream
where they like, they like the idea of.
of the military so much.
Now, we all need a military.
I respect the people in the military.
They've done things that are genuinely heroic.
But, like, no one in America fantasize about the military,
like, saving those girls from the Texas camp.
No one thinks of, like, no one thinks of the military
or the National Guard being used in that capacity of, like,
oh, there's a girl being taken by the river.
Got her.
No one thinks that.
everyone thinks about like these guys just bashing the skull in of someone on the street
and and everybody and nobody thinks that that will ever be them like nobody it's like when all
the canceling was going on and the people that were on the you know on the top were like
getting people fired and trying to get you know get their banks to debank them and
the cancel culture is kind of goofy when we think about
it now but in the height of it there were people that were losing their livelihoods their
lives it couldn't get a bank account it was crazy they were they were not able to earn any money
people people people wanted them to not be on Uber like and these were people these weren't
the craziest people in the world's people had said something on Twitter somebody didn't like
wrote an article someone didn't like and all of those people that were wielding that power
never imagined that maybe that power would be used on them
They never thought that.
They were never like, well, maybe if we like get all these people fired that one day they're going to find a way to take this weapon and turn it back on us and get us fired, which of course happened.
And now you're like, there's people that are applauding like the military in the street and the show of strength.
But does no one imagine that at any given time the government could just decide that you're an enemy of the state?
Oh, you don't like...
I mean, here's the other thing.
This thing that's going on in Israel is incredibly unpopular.
They may go to war with Iran again.
There's a great article in foreign policy
we're going to go into in a minute.
When you're pursuing a course
or you're funding a country to do something
that's wildly unpopular, okay?
You need to start thinking about quelling
the significant protests and civil unrest
that you're going to have.
If you throw a bunch of people off Medicare to do that, to give Israel the money to do this,
people are going to get pissed.
They're going to be in the streets.
And then you're going to go, what are we going to, how do we handle this?
Bring in the guard.
Bring in the militarized federal takeover of the police.
This is anticipation because people are going to be unhappy.
People are going to be unhappy.
Luigi Mangione is not the beginning in the end of that story.
people are going to act out in violent ways.
I'm not for that.
I don't want it.
Obviously, I don't want it.
But even peaceful protests with slogans that people don't like
are going to be considered violent threats
and you're going to be serving jail time.
What's going on in the UK right now
and I don't think people know about it,
it's so fucking nuts.
people are going to jail in the UK for a tweet
it's not a tweet anymore
it's whatever it's called
an ex a fucking
people are going to jail in the UK
for like social media posts
they're saying something
now yes would I like some members of my family
to go to jail because of what they read on social media
sure
but as a as a policy
no
you know and I'm not talking about like
go kill someone at that address
like where it's clearly like
Okay. Okay. I'll defend a lot. But when you start doing, you know, we're not even talking about that.
We're talking about people that are voicing an opinion that people might consider anti-immigrant or anti-Semitic going to a jail because of something they wrote. Get that up.
That is happening all the time in the UK.
And there are, unfortunately, a lot of new hate crime laws being debated here
that could end up being that.
Okay?
Here we go.
Let's listen to this.
20 months.
Went on to say that you did not want your money going to immigrants.
20 months, Facebook post.
Jail.
Rape our kids and get.
priority end quote
this offense is so
serious that an immediate
custodial sentence is
unavoidable
would you stand please
the sentence that I pass has been reduced by
one third to reflect your guilty
plea it's a beheaded sentence is one of
20 months in prison
you will be beheaded
you will beheaded and you will lose all of your
followers
so 20 months now the guy said I don't want
immigrants rape being
the kids. What I've said that? No, is it the most
articulate thing that's... I may have said it. Is that
hold on, wait a minute.
I can just imagine
people go, you've actually said it.
But no, I...
I'm just quote tweeting it with...
No, what I've...
No, these are not articulate people.
The people
that are on the internet are not
like articulate people that are really
good at like expressing themselves
in a
way that's always helpful and
constructive. You know, when my aunt has a couple of percassette and throws down a couple of bottles
of whites in and goes on Facebook, you know, she's not thinking about if she's going to hurt people
with her words. That's what she's doing. That's part of the game. That's part of the game.
You can't throw people in jail for 20 months for going, I don't want my money going to immigrants or rape with the kids.
Now, maybe there's some other things in that post I didn't see.
But from what I heard, it's not eloquent, but jail for 20 months because of that.
Dude, as a guy that says crazy shit with sunglasses behind a fucking desk in front of a seasonal backdrop that's printed at a kinkos, do you think, I mean, this is this crosses my mind all this.
the time that we can end up being a society like this that will put you in jail for a social
media post or something that you say that they don't like you're not even allowed to watch
there's things in britain you're not even allowed to watch on they will literally say our hate
crimes laws prevent you from watching this video now some of the videos i get it if it's like
I don't know, like a kebab shop owner being burned alive or something.
Not good.
Okay?
Let's not do that.
But some of them aren't as bad as that, and you still can't watch those.
You know?
You still can't watch those videos.
Obviously, if it's like refugee family tied up to Christmas tree in sweet,
and the ornaments are, you know, into them or something crazy.
Yes, we, yes, don't watch.
That one you don't watch.
That one you don't watch.
You know?
You know, like I get that one.
Irish mob attacks halal cart.
We get, yes, there's things we shouldn't be watching.
There's things that aren't good.
But then there's a lot of stuff you just,
You got to be able to watch it.
You got to be able to understand that you're an adult and you should be able to...
Because they've already got the cops on the street that are...
I mean, that are not cops or that are the military.
They've already got the National Guard on the street.
They already have all your information in D.C.
And now they just get to decide what is and isn't over the line.
That should scare everybody.
You're fucking nuts, dude.
this doesn't scare you, you're nuts.
All of these things at Alex Jones, you know, and I've had Alex on, I like Alex, but all these
things that Alex Jones was, like, worried about when I listen to him in the late 90s, early
2000s are coming to fruition, and he, you know, I don't know where he is on all of that
stuff, but like, I know he's a big fan of Trump, but like, this is everything Alex Jones
always talked about, military in the street, the FEMA camp, the tech company that monitors,
everything, the surveillance, this is all of that.
I mean, not to sound like a fucking nut.
This is everything a crackhead.
And I don't even mean a crackhead like crack,
but a guy smoking weed in a room with a fucking black light
and a fucking, you know, insane clown posse tattoo on his arm.
I'm thinking of a very specific guy I was friends with.
But this is everything that that guy would have talked about.
He'd be like, bro, bro, there's going to be military in the street.
They're going to put you in jail for your fucking thoughts, man.
If you just say them, bro, you're going to be in fucking jail.
There's going to be a fucking company that monitors everything you do, bro.
Like, this is literally the wet dream of every conspiracy theorist that has ever lived.
And it's happening now.
and the people you'd think would be upset about it
are kind of cheerleading it.
They think it's great.
So isn't that fun?
Isn't that a fun one?
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A Miami-Lakinta in went viral after video shows weird virtual check-in with remote.
Receptionist. I will say one thing about the hotel check-in process right now.
It is the least pleasurable thing that you do as an adult outside of a doctor's office.
A hotel check-in for whatever reason is so terrible. It is so fucking long. It takes a lot of time.
it's annoying
you're asked to produce all kinds of things
you're asked meaningless questions
back and forth
they ask you if you need
for them if they need to explain to you
like what an elevator is
they're they're completely
completely
usually not always
but they're like treating you like a child
and yet
they also can't do anything at the thing.
Like you're like, can I extend my this?
Can I do this? Can I do that?
No, no, no.
We can't do any of that.
That's all done through reservations.
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I'll pay a little extra.
Could you upgrade the room?
I can't do any of that.
I can't do any of that.
I'm a prisoner.
I am being filmed.
I cannot do anything.
I am at this desk.
I can only check you in to this hotel.
So of all of the different processes that are going to get automated,
that one
and it's already happening
I already know people
that show up at these hotels
and they have an app on the phone
and it opens the door
it's already going in that direction
but let's check out this
this is a virtual hotel check
in which by the way right now
I'm saying ready it's not that bad
I've had much worse in person
let's take a look at this
okay
we need one or two rupees
two just in case I lose one
yes I'll just think
for you. Just talking with your signature, but it says guest signature, let me just process your
registration. Please wait while we process your registration form. Please note that we have a strict
policy of no smoking, no pets, and no visitors allowed in any of our guest rooms. Signature
must match the one on your ID. Using your finger, please sign where it says guest signature
what's so bad about this.
Oh, that's, sir. I will just process your room rest of which contains all the property.
yeah what's so bad about that he's Indian so what that's not a high-end hotel that's a lequinta it's a cheap hotel
it's a but but i understand what people are saying lekeitha saying we're not hiring an american to do that
job we're not going to put a physical american in that job we're going to have someone do it
from another country outlaw that by the way if trump's going to rip all these people out of a high
school graduation outlaw that lekeitha shouldn't be able to do that and by the way
that was not even that bad either.
But if you're going to be All-America first,
outlaw that, outlaw Laquinta hiring a guy.
He's probably in the next room.
He's like, I'm not in India.
He's like, I'm sitting in the next room.
He's just in an air-condition room at the Lakeinta.
But that shouldn't be allowed.
You shouldn't be able to just hire some dude
to sit in India and check fucking people into a Laquinta
to go cheat on their wife.
You should have to look at
in the eyes of an American citizen
at the La Quinta, you should have to.
You should not be able to dodge the judgment of checking any of that.
But by the way, that's not even that fucking bad.
That's not that bad at all.
I've had so much worse check-ins with an actual physical human being standing in front of you.
It's so much worse.
That's fucking fine.
I don't even know what people are pissed off about with that.
That one was fine.
Maybe they're mad that it's not an American job.
What are people mad about here?
Let's see what people are angry about.
I don't even get it.
I don't know what would bother people other than the fact that it is a,
this is beyond ridiculous, that's wild,
got to keep it local, fam.
Well, that, okay.
The reason for a desk is like having a dormant,
in an apartment building, security.
I wouldn't feel safe in a hotel with staffed this lien.
There is no authority.
It's like a bus stop.
It's a Lakeinta.
What do you think it is?
You're checking into a Lakeinta hotel.
What kind of experience do you think you're going to get?
This is, what do you think?
I love when somebody goes, security.
You think someone in a Lakeinta is going to save you?
If something bad happens to you,
You think a guy making $7 or $8 an hour to La Quinta is going to, if a shady character walks into the hotel,
best case they call the cops and run out the back.
They're going to come fucking save you, idiot?
You think life's a movie?
Everybody's a goddamn hero?
I'm against this because that job should go to a dirtbag who lives in our country.
There are dirt bags in our country and they need to work.
This is another problem that no politician wants to talk about
because nobody's like, nobody likes calling people dirtbags,
but there's a lot of dirt bags in our country
that need to do something.
And I'm not saying everyone that works at a lequinta is a dirt bag,
but if you were a dirt bag,
this isn't the worst job to have
is to check people into a lequinta.
It's not the worst job.
We've got a lot of people that are not too bright.
They're not really that hardworking.
They've had terrible childhoods.
They're on drugs.
They've had unfortunate circumstances, and shouldn't they be working at a lequinta?
Shouldn't women with neck tattoos be working at a lequinta?
Shouldn't people who just got out of rehab be working at a lequinta?
Like, that's what lequintas are for.
That's what that whole subterranean level of the American economy is for.
It's so that people that are having a rough go of it have a place.
that's what it's for
Not everybody's going to thrive and excel
And not everyone's going to be mentioned in a lawsuit
With the President of France's wife
Some people are going to have
Like I, for example, was a failure
Up until I was, you know, I don't know, my mid-30s
Now maybe not a failure in the sense
I never worked at a little, you know, whatever
I wasn't like doing meth or something
But I was a drug addict
I was broke
I had a house foreclosed on
I had all this stuff happened to me
I never worked in a legita, but I had a lot of bad stuff going on.
And I was in that world with a lot of those people and they need jobs.
They need things to do.
People that I knew from that world don't, they're never going to get that much further than that.
It doesn't mean they can't have a great life.
It does a little.
But it doesn't mean that, you know, they should have like some horrible life.
but it means, like, they need jobs.
They need jobs.
Like, these are not people who are going to, you know,
do some of the other stuff that we got going on.
They're not starting an app, okay?
They're not coming up with their own app.
I'm sorry about that.
I'm sorry they're not coming up with their own app.
But they're not.
But that's why a Lakeith exists in.
They have a cigarette outside of the Lequinta.
It's not that bad.
And then people that are in that situation, you know, they learn to kind of enjoy it.
They learn that, you know, it's their, it's their, it's their routine.
They work at the Lakeinta.
Google Lakeinta, Florida, and hit image.
Lequinta, Florida.
I'm not saying all these people live in Florida, but let's just imagine.
imagine some of them do get up one that looks like a real lequinta not one of these resort
style ones that don't even exist let's get a real lequita go fourth picture bottom left
fourth picture bottom now it's third picture third picture right there go to the left make that
bigger this is what a lequinta looks like a real one
Not like one in the, in the magazines.
This is not the one they put on a website.
This is what a Lakinta really looks like, okay?
People go to that, they go to that hotel to smoke meth or crack
and cheat on their wife, maybe a closeted, a gay man will go in there to have sex
with someone he pays money to.
Nothing wrong with that.
It's actually kind of hot.
That's what the Lakinta's for.
The Lakinta's not for a family vacation, really, unless you're like fucked.
People who state Lakintas, a lot of them are living there.
They're living in the Lakinta half the time.
They're hiding.
They're hiding in a Lakinta, you know, from someone, some thing, the authorities, or a rival gang.
A rival biker gang is trying to get them.
And they go cool down for a couple of days.
They go to a Lakeinta.
If you want to go to America,
you don't go to Manhattan or any of this crap or Palm Beach or the Hamptons.
If you want to go see America, you don't go to Beverly Hills.
If you want to see America, you go to a Lakeinta.
You go to a Lakeinta in Florida or the Carolinas, wherever.
Doesn't really matter.
Doesn't really matter.
Go to a Lakeinta room.
the room of a Lakinta.
Because these are the places that the working class of this country needs to work.
Make that bigger.
Do you see this room?
What are you going to do in that room but sin?
There's nothing to do in that room except the craziest drugs.
the craziest drugs and have crazy sex.
It's not like pornographic hot sex.
We're like, whoa, look at all the acrobatics.
This is like real bad, real gross, real tough.
End of life stuff in that room.
End of life stuff where a guy comes and you think he's dead.
He's like, ugh.
He makes up fate.
Like, it's bad what goes on in that room.
It's bad.
But this is a business.
Our country has this.
This is a business.
And people have to work there.
It's not nice.
Maids find not nice things.
Lequinta's named in many, many court cases.
There's many, many legal documents that say the name Lequinta.
I mean, none of this is a surprise.
But this is an American tradition.
An American tradition is,
when you have been flushed down the toilet by our society, sorry people do,
down the toilet, a lot of people.
I've known some of them.
I would have been one of them, okay?
But I enjoyed, you know, the creative arts.
Now, when you're flushed down the toilet in our society,
you don't have a ton of options.
And one of the options you have is working at one of these chain hotels.
And if we take that away from people, I'm being dead serious now.
And I know people are going to not, you're out of touch.
Shut up.
I'm being honest and actually soulful and kind.
Because one of the options you have is to work at a Lakeinta and have pride and go, you know, like the people that work in a Lakeinta walked out, they walk out.
the staff of the Lakinta is people that go
I was molested as a kid but I'm not molesting kids
the cycle stops with me
that's the Lakinta pledge
the Lakinta pledge when you work there
is I it says it when you check in
it says actually behind the thing it says
I was molested as a child but I don't molest children
the cycle stops with me
and then on to the side of the hotel
they have frozen foods you can heat up little bowls of
chilly and such.
And then ice cream, it's always too hard.
It's always been in the freezer too long.
You have to gnaw on it kind of,
like a beaver would gnaw wood.
It's not good.
But that's what the lakenea.
It's people that have had, you meet people in this world that the fact that
they're on two legs is something.
No?
Yes.
Have you ever thought you had it hard and then you talk to someone who's had it
terrible?
I've met so many people that have had it so bad.
and they are heroic in the way that they carry themselves
because they've made it through such horror
and they've been able to get themselves to a point where they work...
I'm not kidding.
They work at a grocery store or a little inn.
Not like a inn I'd go to, not like a nice kind of class.
But like, you know what I mean?
I'm just using the word in as a placeholder for another thing.
I don't mean like the in it little Washington or any of these stuff.
properties in Blue Ridge Mountains.
I mean like a little shitbox thing.
The fact, that's the greatness of America.
The greatness of America is not like, oh, we're so tough at the military in the streets.
The greatness of America is that the children that we have drugged and molested and beaten
to death can work in hotels in our country.
It actually is.
That's what it is.
Jesus said it.
What you have done for the least of us, you've done also for me.
It's in the Bible.
That's what is our country is people that have had it really bad,
cancer clusters, living by power lines, school shootings,
molestation beatings, satanic cults, drugs, gangs, youth violence,
all of that.
Those people that have grown up in those,
they used to play soccer in fields littered with glass.
those children where every scene of their life is like an episode of that Stephen King miniseries to stand
it's always black crows flying over their head and that old woman mother Abigail on the porch going rats in the corn
that's all these kids see is an old woman going rats in the corn
that is what we build from in our country and it's actually
amazing that a lot of the some of those people go on and do crimes yes some of them do but a lot of them
don't i've met a lot of them and they're like very happy people they're much happier than the
spoiled cunts i know and that'll tell you something they're really happy some of those people
if you ever met someone i know people i mean they were passed around i mean it was a rapeathon and
it's not nice when you hear about it.
I know people whose parents did drugs.
I know people who's...
I know someone whose father killed the mother in front of her.
And that...
I don't really know that person.
But I know...
I know someone who knows them.
What I'm saying is a lot of those people have rebuilt...
There's a dark underbelly to this country.
And we can't forget about those people,
like those are the people
that are being replaced
by that guy on the iPad.
Bring him up, make him big again.
He's, look at that lobby.
Go show us just that lobby again for a second.
Yeah, see that?
It looks like a hospital.
That is where you can work and you feel pride.
You go, I have a job.
My mother, my father,
killed my mother in front of me and I have a job today at this Lakinta.
And Sheila called out because she's sick because the kids got her sick and I'm filling in for
Sheila. I have a job at the Lakinta on the side of the highway. And that's why I believe in
God because God rewards all those people. I believe that. I'm hoping that's where my religion
comes from. I was raised Catholic but I believe people that suffer through things like that through
the Likintas and, you know, the theme parks and public school or whatever, you know,
whatever horrors people do, walking people around on leashes, not for fun.
I mean, like the government ones.
That's bad.
And I think in the afterlife, they get, it's good then.
They get rewarded.
That's the whole game.
When you work at a shit place like this, you then go to heaven.
People like me and my friends that live in nice areas are going to have to like really make an argument as to why they should get into heaven.
I believe that.
I believe I'll be like, well, I did have the Cajun chicken at La Bill Bacay a lot.
And there were other people that were hungry in the world.
I did.
I did.
We're going to have to explain the concept of an appetizer.
are to God, people that I know.
We're going to go, well, we ate a meal before the meal.
Well, because we wanted to try different things.
These people go right to heaven.
If you work in a lakinta, rats in the corn,
black crows are flying over your head,
you're playing soccer in a field of old glass,
you're living in Florida,
you have a hellish life,
your brother kills someone,
and he's in jail, and you're visiting your brother in jail.
And you drag yourself
into the middle class of this country.
Not the middle class, I'm sorry.
What are my nuts?
You drag yourself into the working poor.
You drag yourself into the working poor.
After all the horrors,
all the horrors.
Epstein victims.
You see these girls that have been treated horribly,
terribly by evil people.
And those women, I believe, go right to heaven
because they've been through hell on earth.
I should really do more kind of spiritual talking.
It's actually kind of inspiring to many people,
myself included, but also the people in the room.
There's only two people in this room,
but they're actually being inspired by this.
Makes you wonder from wasting it here,
you know, if it shouldn't just be more of a stadium environment.
But I believe they go right to heaven
because they've been through hell on earth,
whereas the people that have had it kind of good
have to, maybe there's a little bit of purgatory.
And that's okay.
Like, maybe there's a little bit of, like,
you know what, you guys don't get to go because, you know what I mean?
So heaven's going to be a bunch of people with tear-drop tattoos on their face who worked at La Quinta.
And purgatory is going to be lit.
Because purgatory is going to be, like, a lot of, like, fun people.
No, but the point here is that when we talk about the American people,
working class. Obviously we're not
talking about, we're not always talking about people that have had
horrible lives. We're talking about people
that have had good lives and their families and whatever.
But there is a segment
of people in our country, the poor,
generational poverty.
People that have experienced
really horrible things,
those people
should be able to work
in these places.
Not him.
Not him. And it's not because
he's Indian. It's because
he's
somewhere else.
If you work
at a Lakinta, as that comment
said, keep it local fam.
And you want a little local
flavor in the Lakinta.
But this is going to be good.
Let me tell you why this is going to work. People don't want
to walk in when they cheat on their wife.
They like there's some guy from Pakistan
on an iPad.
Instead of having to
see an actual person.
but I think you should have to look in the eyes of an actual person.
So that's what I'm saying.
That's kind of a sermon a little bit.
There was kind of a religious angle to that.
I think people appreciate because there was sort of a sort of the circle or the fish.
What is it?
Will you make the eight sign?
That's what it comes down to is that, you know,
people that have been through it should get to work at an American
kind of motor lodge.
Well, they should.
Well, they're not going to be doctors
and they're not going to work at Goldman Sachs.
I'm sorry.
But you're not qualified to do that.
They're not qualified to do that.
They're not qualified to do that.
They're qualified to produce a podcast
or they're qualified to do this.
This is what they're qualified to do.
I mean, I don't know what to tell you.
No, they're good people.
and they shouldn't be replaced by foreign workers on iPads.
It's not right.
They're going to be like, Becky's down bad.
They're going to say this at the local tavern.
They're going to go, why is Becky down bad?
She got fired at the Lakeitha.
They replaced her with a guy.
They're not going to say guy, but I'm not going to say what they'd really say.
With a guy from India who,
who's now checking people in
and Becky is now working at the Carl's Jr.
And then when Becky leaves the Carl's Jr.,
here's the problem, man.
If you fall from La Quinta,
you fall to fast food.
If you fall from fast food, it's tough.
You know, there's not a lot of options out there.
Maybe everyone will just be an ice.
Maybe that's what it is.
maybe the end of this country is everyone joins ice.
Maybe that's the only job now that you can get is ice.
They've gotten rid of the age limits.
You can be 18 and work for ice.
So maybe when we've given all the hotel and restaurant jobs to people on an iPad in Pakistan,
everyone will just be in ice.
All these people will be nice.
And maybe that's the point.
We just have a huge 300 million person force.
for ice and we've kicked all the immigrants out except for one there's one family of immigrants
trying to blend in and everyone's in ice and we're just trying to get them and maybe that's
how america ends everyone is in ice and we all just deport each other back to the countries we
came from and then five guys bill gates mark suckerberg fucking peter teal five guys split up the
country five different ways and we all and we all just fucking deport ourselves back
to where we came from.
It's as fitting an end as any
that the only job left in this country
is to join a paramilitary deportation force.
That's a fit ending to this place.
That's the only thing now you can do
is to the only thing that you're qualified to do
is storm houses rip people out
and send them back to other countries.
I mean, that's the only job.
job left that that's the only job fair the only job fair to all the schools will be ice join ice
is there any other jobs i want to be a dentist as one girl shut up join ice you know there's
parents talking to their kids right now talking to their 13 year old kids going you should join
us make this family proud make this family proud
I remember when Elian Gonzalez,
this kid, he was deported to Cuba,
there was like a military,
a guy with a gun, like, pointed to Elian Gonzalez,
this little Cuban kid, we were sending him back to Cuba.
So I'm like, and everyone was horrified by that photo.
Get up the Elian Gonzalez photo.
Everyone was horrified by this photo of this kid.
He was like clutching his dad.
He was terrified.
And then like these like stormtroopers came in.
Right.
So here's the famous Elian.
Gonzalez's photo, right?
This is the famous
Ellie and Gonzales photo that made people go,
oh my God, how insane
is this? This is probably
being used as an ICE recruitment
photo, by the way.
This is an eye. This went from
like scaring the whole country
to like, oh my God, what have we become?
Now people are cheering
this. They want this.
They want more of this.
They're like, you're not going to grow up and work in the
Lakinta. You're out.
What a what a
What a fun thing
Go see Naked Gun folks
It is good
It is important that you go see these movies
It is really important
That you patronize these things
Go see weapons
Weapons is great
It's about 17 kids that go missing
Or as Israel calls it
Come on, it's too easy
It's actually too easy
All right, bye bye