The Tim Dillon Show - 492 - Eric Swalwell, The Great Layoff, & We Endorse Katie Porter

Episode Date: April 18, 2026

Tim discusses how malls are a thing of the past, the emerging trend of companies laying off massive amounts of employees at once, politician Eric Swalwell resigning from congress after sex crimes allegations surfaced, and Katie Porter now having a chance at winning the California Governor race. Become a Friend Of The Show https://bit.ly/BecomeAFriendOfTheShow and get access to weekly bonus audio episodes of the podcast!Live Dates🎟  https://punchup.live/TimDillonSPONSORS:Neuro Gum Go to https://neurogum.com & Use Code “TIM” For 20% OFF Your First Order! Hims EDGet simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED at https://hims.com/TIM Dose Go To https://dosedaily.co/TIM for 35% OFF Your First Month Subscription! Mint MobileGo To https://mintmobile.com/TIMDILLON To Get 3 Months Of Premium Wireless for $15 bucks a month! PestieGet bugs out of your house with Pestie. Go to https://pestie.com/TIM for 10% off your order.▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬Subscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/@TimDillonShow?sub_confirmation=1Instagram:https://instagram.com/timjdillon/X:https://twitter.com/TimJDillonFB:https://www.facebook.com/TimDillonComedyTik Tok:https://www.tiktok.com/@timdListen on Spotify!https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds?si=e8000ed157e441c8Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same.#TimGivesBack

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. The Straits of Hormuz are now open, I believe, in a stunning achievement of international diplomacy. And we're still maybe or maybe not, I believe, doing a blockade. And then they might close again. Iran is threatened that. It's by the minute now. by the minute, as I was driving here, I was on my phone trying not to swerve into oncoming traffic,

reading about the updates to the Straits of Hormuz. Iran threatens to disrupt shipping in Red Sea unless the U.S. lifts the blockade. And this is, uh, as of a few minutes ago. So they're going back and forth. And, uh, I don't know. If you don't like it, vote. Well, and everyone's talking about the midterm.

Well, the midterm. There's not going to be any midterms. Israel is going to nuke the midterms. There's no midterms out there. The fantasies you people have about these midterms are hilarious. There's no midterms. Israel's fully nuking the midterms will be in a war with Turkey by then, and you'll actually support it.

it'll go the other way because you're just going to start to accept it, but there are no midterms sorry about it. I know it seems like a nice way out to do the midterms, but at this point, I don't know, does anyone feel that the midterms are going to happen? Now, I think they should happen, and I think the Republicans should lose.

They've gone back on a lot of their campaign promises. But does anyone feel like the midterms are, I'm just asking out there. Does anyone feel great about the midterms? Like you and your buddies go to the bakery and get a vegan, you know, little apple thing. And you're like, I'm going to vote on the midterms. Does anyone feel like that's going to go on? I hope it does. By the way, I hope it does.

But it just feels like by that time, what are we going to be about a year? midterms are about a year? Well, I hope they happen, but Trump might go to BB and say, listen, here's the deal. You need to nuke the midterms. Like, we got to figure this out. And BB is going to understand that. BB's going to go, listen, the last thing I need is the Democrats to come in and then this guy to get impeached and convicted and removed.

we're working here, we're doing work, we can't have these things. Now say what you want about Israel, but here's the deal, they are invested in our country. They are. Israel's a friend that has chosen to take a keen interest in our activities. Some friends you have are very casual. I know this. You have very casual people in your life that don't really care. what you're doing. Oh, you're dieting good for you. And then there are people that take a keen

interest in your behavior. Maybe some would call it smothering, a friendship, a closeness that's rather inappropriate. It might feel stifling. It might be a little claustrophobic at times. But that's the relationship we have with Israel right now. It's a friend who's taking a keen interest in what we're choosing to do, and if need be, they might nuke the midterms so that they can really get close to us and really be our friends. I don't know.

I'm hoping that doesn't happen. People got mad at me, you know, the press went wild about the assassination attempt thing I said in Butler. They're reporting it everywhere, and I'm like, well, number one, Joe Kent said it. He didn't say it was, stage, but he said there's things about the assassination we don't know.

And he said I couldn't, I wasn't allowed to investigate it. And he was like the deputy director of, he was the intelligence chief, the deputy czar of whatever the fuck these things are. And he was told, you can't investigate it. Cash Patel's FBI said, you're not allowed to continue to investigate the butler shooting. Trump shut down the investigation, the administration shut it down. Kent was like, I was also blocked from investigating Charlie Kirk. Now, does Joe Kent want to run from political office?

Obviously. Does he want to be the president? Yeah. Sure. Does he look at Vance his weakness and go, I can get in there? And then he looks at Rubio and he goes, well, the neocons are going to throw all the money to Rubio. And Joe Kent goes, I got a sharp jaw. He's got that jaw.

He's got that look smacks. jaw. Tell me Joe Kent doesn't look like clavicular's dad, like he grew up. Joe Kent, get up Joe Kent and then get up clavicular. And Joe Kent, they look kind of similar. Like, Joe Kent looks like the older version of clavicular because he has that, he has that jaw very shapely. What's the term for that and why am I not saying it when someone has a real cut, or all like that. Well, anyway, Joe Kent, he just, he looks like a guy that would be president,

so he wants to be the president. No, this is, that's another. But does that mean that he's making it up? Does that mean that Joe Kent's lying? I don't know. If he was lying, I feel like they would charge him with something. But he hasn't been charged.

charged with anything. So he's just coming out and he's saying these things. And then I on my show say what he said. They leave him out. And they come at me. And my whole thing is this. And I'm not going to, I did it last week. So I'm not going to talk about it.

I'm just saying, I, if Trump said I staged my own assassination attempt, I would not be angry. I would laugh. It would bring back some levity into this fucking goddamn world. it would be fun and silly. And if he sat down with Barry Weiss on CBS or whoever, Tony Docapul or whatever, and explained how he did this,

we would be riveted and we would be back to fun. Back to fun. So everyone got mad at me for that. And they're going to say, they're going to also get mad at me for the suggestion that Trump and Israel might nuke the midterms. but I'm just saying I'm asking anyone out there

and I'm, you know, these midterms one never knows what could happen. We might be in another war, we might be in a wider war and it's going to be, you know, it's going to get ugly out there. It's so bad, Sam Altman, this is how bad it is.

Sam Altman is attacking himself. Sam Altman is paying employees to throw Molotov cocktails at his house. This is how you get ahead of it. Before the real Molotov cocktails come in, you have to pay someone to throw a few fake ones. And then Sam Altman came out and said, this is my husband, this is my baby. I love my family, stop throwing Molotov cocktails at my house.

Now, I don't know, maybe someone threw a Maltau cocktail at his house, whatever. And maybe his coder killed himself. I don't know. It's not my business. It's not my business. I see Sam Altman as a good example of a happy gay, married man who's trying to open Stargates around the world to communicate with aliens and build a super intelligent army to fight a global war.

And if you don't see them like that, that's on you. Bigot. Yeah, four days before Trump's inauguration, the Wall Street Journal reported, someone named Tanoon, Tanoon paid half a billion dollars to the Trump family in exchange for a stake in its cryptocurrency company. the following day,

Altman held a 25-minute call with Trump, during which they discussed announcing a version of Chipco, time so that Trump could take credit for it. On Trump's second day in office, Altman stood in the Roosevelt room and announced Stargate, a $500 billion joint venture that aims to build a vast network of AI infrastructure across the U.S.

And May the administration rescinded Biden's expectations, sport restriction on AI technology, Altman and Trump traveled to the Saudi royal court to meet with Muhammad bin Salman. Around that time, the Saudis advertised a launch of a giant state-backed AI firm in the kingdom with billions to spend on international

partnerships. About a week later, Altman laid out a plan for Stargate to expand into the United Arab Emirates. The company plans to build a data center campus in Abu Dhabi. which is seven times larger than Central Park

and consumes roughly as much electrical power as the city of Miami. The truth of this is, this is a quote, we're building portals from which we're genuinely summoning aliens of former AI executive said. Now, maybe this is a joke, right? Like, as I'm reading this, I can imagine like some cunty tech executive going, saying something like this to some reporter.

You know? Like, we're genuinely summoning aliens. But by the way, maybe it's not a joke. And so we don't know. Quote, the portal is currently existing in the United States and China. And Sam has added one in the Middle East. He went on, I just think it's widely important to get how scary that should be. It's the most reckless thing that has been done.

Now, in the middle of summoning aliens, this guy, some guy throws a Molotov cocktail at this guy's house. And again, everyone should be against that if it happened. Do you understand? If it happened, you should be against it. And it probably happened. What do I know? I personally, if I was doing what Sam Altman was doing,

I would throw a Molotov cocktail at my own house. I'm just telling you a strategy that I would employ. I would start doing things that made it seem like I was a sympathetic figure. But hey, neurogum is one of my favorite things right now. I'm telling you right now, so many people feel unfocused during the day. And you need something. You don't want to keep just blasting caffeine. It feels like everyone's trying to constantly optimize their life from routines to powders.

Meanwhile, I'm just trying to have a thought. functioning brain by 3 p.m. That's why I love neuro energy and focus gum. It's clean, focused energy. You can keep in your pocket no sugar, no aspartame. And it's built for when you need to lock in without feeling wrecked later. And this is my favorite part. In a pilot study with neuro's energy and focusments,

participants performed the cognitive test, 21.4% faster than those without neuro. So I'm doing 21.4% more, more focus, more follow through, more I can handle this energy. God, I love neuro gum. The minute I take it, I feel better. I'm not doom scrolling and I can just be a person perfect for LA traffic meetings, gym, existential dread.

Neuro energy and focus mints is powered by natural green tea, caffeine, al-thenin for calm focus and vitamin B12 plus B6 for better mood and metabolism. No sugar, no aspirin, no crash, which means I don't feel like I need to apologize to my body afterwards. It's clean, effective, and it has better few ingredients. Neuro also offers caffeine-free options for all-day wellness support. For limited time, you can get 20% off your first order at NeuroG gum.com by using code t-im. That's neurogum.com.

Use code TIM for 20% off your first order. You can also find Nuro at CVS and Amazon. So now is this Palmer Lockhee talking about more alien tech? Now, by the way, so it's interesting. It was, I was with a friend last night. We're in an old mall seeing a film. And we're in this like, you know, I don't know, it looks like that new movie backrooms that's coming out.

That, you know, about liminal spaces. literally every mall in the country is that film. And we're walking around this mall in Redondo Beach, California. And it's just bleak and dark and old and... Sorry, I don't know why what's happening to me, but I have a little frog in my throat. And I'm being... My body's been hijacked by Sam Altman.

Sam Altman will figure out how to hijack my body soon. So you're going to say... that, you know, what's going to happen is one of these tech people, quite obviously, will biohack my body, will hijack my system eventually, and they will figure out how to do my show. And not only me, they will do it to Rogan, they will do it to everyone. We podcasters will begin to be hijacked by these tech billionaires, and then, you know, they're going to do what they will with us.

And it's not going to be a perfect, you know, like my arms will start going, and then they'll stop. You know, I'll blame it on some rare disease. but that's coming. So just know that that will be coming eventually. I mean, I don't see, I don't see how it wouldn't. But we're in this old mall and we're walking around and, you know, you just, you, there's nothing like a mall to tell you that the old world is dead.

There's no physical representation of the death of the old world than walking around. around a mall. If you think any of it is coming back, retail, any of it, people gathering, film, like, you know, any of it, any of the things that you associate with a mall, if you think there is a chance that any recognizable form, that life is going to take a recognizable form again at any point, go walk around the mall and look and walk around the ancient ruins of the world that you grew up in and you will realize, as I'm reading on my phone

about these tech billionaires trying to open stargates and these scientists disappearing that are supposedly working on anti-gravity technology and I'm staring at a hot topic in the mall and Redondo Beach, it's like a ghost town. I'm feeling like I'm looking at the past. Like I'm a genuine time traveler walking past, you know, the equivalent of his Spencer's Gifts, an Ann Annie's prentzel. Who are the people that would shop at Hot Topic?

Those fat goths, do they even exist? When's the last time you've seen a fat goth? You know, like I'm sure they're around, but they're not out like they used to be. No, I'm serious. Yes, there were a few hot gotts, but most of the gots had a few extra. And, you know, that you would seem a hot topic.

And I would wander around malls as a kid with my friends. You'd smoke a joint. You'd sample some bourbon chicken. You'd get some food. But that world is dead. Completely. and and and you should, you should, if you doubt that,

I know people that are very hopeful about the return of certain things. Well, you know, people, people actually are always going to want to, they're always going to want to leave their house. I don't know. People are actually always going to want, you know, people like trying things on. Do they, do they like going and trying things on? People like meeting their friends and going to play. go to a mall and look at the death of that world.

It's not coming back. And you feel it, and it would be crazy if it did. It would be even crazier if it did. I grew up at malls. We loved malls. Carlin said it perfectly. It's America's two things, shopping and eating. It's the only two things, it's like a religion.

But when you walk around one now, you're keenly aware. that it's, the world is never going to look the way it did. Drive around L.A. and everything is for lease, for lease, for lease. A lot of these commercial spaces are gone. The office spaces are gone. So what's going to happen to all these? And by the way, that's Los Angeles, right? There's, you know, obviously there's parts of it that thrive and it's a very big city.

But go around the country and you will, and I do. and you will see all of this available commercial space and you say to yourself, what happens with this space? Where does it go? What do people do with it? Who takes on these leases? What do you open in this country?

What's the business you open? You used to be able to open something like, edible arrangements. Here's a, here's a, here's a, here's a pineapple shaped like a sunflower. We're sorry you had a stroke. That was a business in America, like a genuine business. Oh, you're retiring as a biology teacher after 30 years because you had a weird interaction with a student in the hall?

Who cares? Here's an edible arrangement. Here's a melon shaped like a tulip. You gave a back rub to someone? That's not good. I think it's time to retire. Bob, it's time to retire. She was stressed out.

Take your edible arrangement and get the fuck out of here, you sick pedophile. But that was a business. You understand? People, that was like a, that made money. I don't know if you had to open a bit. Now, I'm not even kidding. Do this as a thought experiment in your head to see how fucked we are. if you had to open a business in this country,

where no one has any money and everyone hates each other, by the way, everyone is completely paranoid, justifiably so. No one knows what the hell is going on. What business would you open? I mean, think about, like, what would you open here? What would you open in a city where homeless people are multiplying because joblessness is exploding,

drug addiction, people with open sores that are festering the stench of skin rotting, the necrosis, similar to a brown recluse by getting to the bone, the dead tissue, people wandering around their eyes bugged out of their head. The sounds they make somewhere between a human and a trapped animal in a basement. What business would you open now? What business would you get excited with a cup of coffee? I'm going to the shop, honey? What business?

People are terrified of each other. They're skin. to be in public. They're waiting for Iranian drones to start blasting them. They don't know what's going on. They're heavily medicated. They're terrified. Their GLP-1 is going to wear off and they're going to run into a Chinese buffet and

kill themselves. That their stomach's going to explode. They're worried the GLP-1, the health care is going to cut off and they go, my stomach exploded last week because I couldn't get the shot. what business, because the GLP-1s, now a lot of people market to pigs, to fat pigs. Now, the GLP-1s are making that harder. And we're pro whatever you want to do on this show to help yourself.

We always have been, obviously. Now, but now if you had a business for fatty boom-batties, which is a lot of businesses, come, come, pig, and eat it. Eat it in your car, pig. eat it in your credit. That's a lot of businesses. A lot of them, from frozen yogurt to bakeries to smoothies and slushies and burgers

and cassidias. You know, there's a lot of businesses aimed at squarely at the fatty. A lot of businesses aimed donuts. I'm not going to go on here, but you get it. The chocolatier. Like, what are we talking? But what are you, 10? there's a lot of businesses aimed at people who are eating in their car.

I've been one of those people. I know what it's like, I know what it's like to shamefully sit in your car alone and eat in a parking lot. That's a lot of businesses. A lot of people open a business and say, fat people come in here, they get food and then they eat it in their car and they waddle back to the nursery school and teach the children or whatever it is.

But now the GLP wants you here, and people are kind of cleaning it up a bed. So now, then there used to be businesses just for poor people. Debt collection and, you know, the restructuring of your financial liabilities, the primaricas of the world, and don't sue me, I'll sue you back. But businesses targeted to degenerates, cell phone companies where you had to prepay and they banged you over the head, you know, you get shipped a bunch of credit cards in America

when you're in your late teens. You max them out at college. You fuck yourself, FOP. You start paying for your boyfriend who doesn't like you as much as you think. And then you graduate in your mid-20s and you're like, fuck, I got student loan debt, I've got credit card debt.

And then one of these places, one of these, they targets you. And you walk into a mall, strip mall, and somebody sits down and they figure it out. This is the great tradition of payday loans and small business.

loans and debt consolidation. So that's a genre of business for people that are fucked. Are you fucked? And those things are usually next to the fat businesses. Because those people, a lot of times, and again, I've been it, are one and the same. So you go see the guy about how to restructure your debt, then you get a frozen yogurt and you eat it in your car, and you pray for death. Now, so those are types of businesses you could open up, right?

And there's like the rich businesses, like the antique stores. We got something really cute. I thought of you. Hi, Merrill. I thought of you. We have a table. Remember when you were in here and I'm so sorry about your husband. I heard.

I'm so sorry. Do you know, remember we were talking about that table, Merrill? And you said you needed a little piece by the window in the kitchen. I, and if any, and it. And it had, it, Merrill, it has a drawer. That's why I called you. It has a drawer. You've got to see it.

You've got to come in here and see it right now, please. And that's, you know, a rich business. But think about it. What business would you open? Like, what would you get excited about in America today, in the current climate in which we live? I give you a few million dollars. And I say, hey, good news.

the dream of being a small business owner in America is now yours. You get to choose what business you get to wake up every day excited to go to. And people are going to have to think about this. By the way, the era of the mass layoff is here. And this is a fun, exciting article. from Snap to Block to Amazon, a new template for right-sizing the workforce is spreading through C-suits

and other companies are taking note. So what's basically happening is the C-sweets are the executives and they're basically saying, we have to right-size, meaning Snap is laying off 16% of its staff, block, lopped off 40% of its workforce. Oracle is shedding thousands of employees

after Amazon cut about 30,000 in a matter of months. I think Oracle did that with one, was basically like 20 or 30,000 people that were like everybody get out. Welcome to the era of the mega layoff. So this is the era of the mega layoff. You used to get laid off in a personal way. That's how bad things are. You used to get laid off in a personal way.

Somebody would bring you into the thing, you know, into the office. And go, listen, you know, we're making changes around here. and I wish I could keep you. And I have been fighting to keep you, Nancy, because everyone loves you here, and we all know how hard you work, Nancy. We know how hard you work. Oh, please don't cry.

Please don't cry. And then Nancy would go, I knew it was coming. I just didn't think it would be this soon. I didn't think it would be this soon. Because Cliff, Cliff is, you know. he's doing good because it's Cliff is Nancy's husband

who shot a black child and is now under investigation and they go Nancy we all support Cliff and we know that child was wrong in the wrong

but unfortunately Nancy you got to go now you just get an email you get a mass email and they just tell you and everyone you know pretty much are fucked now. And this is, this is gonna hurt, like,

here's what this is gonna hurt. You know those like outdoor malls that still have a little life in them with like a Jenny's ice cream and a pokey bowl spot. And like, you know, everybody's, you know, they all got back from Coachella and they're talking about, you know, how good Bieber set was. It was so cool. He went back old school.

like he, this is going to turn those places into Detroit. Those upwardly mobile, six-figure earning, kind of like Normie Corps, Austin City Limits, white converse shoe wearing, New York City, Soho Living, Macha drinking, you know, they are fucked. That breed of person is unfortunately now going to be turned into the type of person that I talked about earlier with the flesh eating diseases and the schizophrenia. That's coming. Now, hopefully these people find a way to avoid that fate. I'm not rejoicing in that. I'm telling you that's what's happening. These types of people who are used to like traveling and going to places, is these are the people that go to Thailand

and they post photos of Thailand on their Instagram because they have the money to do that. They are in trouble now. They are in trouble. The people that think nothing of eating a ribeye for $125 and drinking a $27 glass of Cabernet are in trouble now. The people that think nothing of renting a weekend house and Montauk are in trouble now.

They're in trouble now. The young professional is being hunted. The six figure a year graduate of a fucking really good private school. Maybe not an Ivy, but maybe. But a really good private school, a thing like a Vanderbilt, whatever. the people that move to New York, that move to Brooklyn, that get a job at the startup, that work in FinTech, are being hunted by the AI demon and Sam Altman.

Sam Altman has released a demon to now hunt some of the people I do find pretty annoying, but I don't want them, I don't want them to end up falling off the grid and wandering around the streets. with their children living in tents. But those stargates are opening the door and people say to me, why do you call it the AI demon? Well, number one, it's funny.

But number two, I don't know. I don't know what it's going to do. Maybe it's, some people call it a God. Some people say it's a God. And it's, you know, whatever. Like Rogan says, like quantum computing plus blah-bibla, maybe that's God. I happen to call it a demon because I liked the world before it.

I like the world where, you know, where people would go out and see each other and talk and have jobs and own things. So I call it a demon. I'm not engaging in some quasi-mystic medieval religiosity here. I'm just using a term to describe the nothing. You want me to call it the nothing from Neverending Story? That's fine. The nothing. If you remember Neverending Story, the great film from the 90s,

where Atreu battles the nothing, and the nothing blows through the town, and the nothing just leaves everything, and it all says, for lease, for lease, for lease, open a business here outside the bus stop, in the empty parking lot, open a business. But the people now, now, by the way, globalization has displaced the manufacturing sector in America,

so if you lived in upstate New York or Scranton, Pennsylvania, or somewhere in the Russia, You've been fucked. You already work at Kroger. You're getting out of prison. Your son's on meth. Okay? Now, I'm not, I'm generalizing, obviously.

That's not everyone. Some people's kids run heroin. My point is this, you've been fucked. Oh, your daddy made cars. We don't give a fuck. Spill and aisle four. Take your heroin and go to bed. and that's what we did to those people

and we call them white trash and we call them Nazis and we call them names and we watch them die and we don't care. And if some of them happen to die in our cities, we get off on it. We jerk our cocks and flick our beans

to watching people stroke out on our streets and die because we feel that we're good liberals by watching people die. We have a death fetish. People in Portland in Los Angeles these well-meaning white people like, they do never want to criticize homeless or unhoused or whatever.

They don't want anyone off the street. They have a death fetish. They come a little harder knowing someone's dead near them. Sorry, but that's what it is. Don't love it. Don't love it. But they feel like they're good people, but it's a psychosexual fetish

where they like to watch people have seizures on the street and it allows them to sit and stroke their cock. And I don't think it's good. But it is a death fetish that white, these same people that AI is now hunting, they have a death fetish because the Kroger people, the veterans, whatever, whoever are stroking out on the street

and these people don't want to say anything about it. They don't want to offend anyone. And now it's coming for them. And now you stroke it. out on the street. And now you put the needle in your arm, Savannah. How about that, Savannah, who worked at Oracle? Now you put the needle in your arm.

Now you're a prostitute. Savannah, you used to work at Oracle, and you're a fucking whore now because you want to survive. Not so fun, is it? Speaking in hush tones about, uh, You know, the need to be compassionate to people, even though you've never engaged in that personally. Civic duty, compassion.

Where are they going to go these? We need to let them die outside of Trader Joe's. Where are they going to go? Well, you're going to join him now. You're going to join him, Savannah. You're going to join him. And I hope not, by the way, I hope not. I am not rejoicing in the idea of the young professionals

in our country. becoming homeless. I am not, but I am telling you they are being hunted now. By the demon, by the nothing. You sit in an office all day. Who knows what you do? There's a meeting at four. You guys get the email about the meeting at four?

Yeah, we got it. It's like a meeting we all have to be in. Yeah, we have to be in the one at four. All right. Is it like a brand meeting or we, I think it's an overall meeting. That world is going to collapse. So I think people are going to have to start getting ready for that. ED does not need to be a big deal.

If something's been off in the bedroom, you're not the only one. A lot of guys wait longer than they need to take action. The difference is getting real treatment, but simple through hymns. It's 100% online. At some point, you can stop blaming stress, sleep, or just getting older. If bedroom performances in question has probably crossed your mind to do something about it.

Good news, you don't have to jump through hoops to fix it. ED is way more common than most guys. Think millions of guys deal with it at some point. That's exactly why Hymns offers a straightforward way to handle it. Just complete a simple online intake and a provider will review your information to determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed your treatment ships directly to your door

and discreet packaging, that includes seledinifil, also known as a generic for Viagra. Available through Hems at up to 95% less than the brand name version. And if that option isn't right for you, there are additional treatment options available so you can find what works best for your body. It's straightforward, transparent, and designed to make getting care feel easy. To get simple online access to personalize affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more visit, Hymns.com slash Tim. That's Hymns.com slash TIM for your online visit.

Prescription required. See website for details and important safety information. Slidinifil is the generic for Viagra. Viagra's registered trademark of Viatris. specialty LLC. Hymns is not affiliated or endorsed by Viatris. So let me tell you right now about dose. I'm telling you right now, I'm skeptical of massive health corporations that tell you to sit back to nothing and trust the system. That mindset makes you weak and dependent.

And dependence is exactly where those big corporations make their money. That's why self-managing your health matters more than people want to admit, especially when it comes to your cholesterol health. Well, the health system fails you. It's on you to get ahead of it. That's why I don't buy into harsh additional medical therapies. They self-manage my health, especially when it comes to my health. body's core system like my cholesterol. Chlestral is out of a lot of people's hands.

Like, mine is very good. You'd think, oh, I bet it's not good. It's actually fine. It's not great. It's slightly elevated, but it's not like medicated. Why? Well, dose. Dose for cholesterol is a clinically backed cholesterol support supplement

that targets triglycerides, LDL, HGL, and total cholesterol. There's so many people in my team are using this product and their cholesterol is all fallen and they're all very excited about it. And they're all comparing numbers. and it's actually really beautiful to see. It's really good to see people finally taking charge of their health. Dose 4 cholesterol gets delivered right to your door. It makes getting the support you need health very easy to stick to.

You don't have to go anywhere. It's easy to self-manage your health. It's a great alternative to conventional therapies. I mean, they use turmeric, amla, other plant-based and mineral forward ingredients. You're not putting a bunch of bullshit in your body. New customers can save 35% on your first month's subscription by going to dose daily.co slash tim. Dosedaily.c.com and entering T-I-M at checkout.

That's D-O-S-E-D-A-I-L-Y. dot CO-S-T-O-S-T-E-L-Y for 35% off your first month's subscription. Katie Porter back in the governor's race. Eric Swalwell is out of the race because, what, he raped everyone? Swalwell's exit means for Democrats in California's governor's race. So here's the thing. billionaire Tom Steyer and ex-Congresswoman Katie Porter stand in benefit the most in Democratic field with

no clear front runner, several strategists said. Eric Swalwell scandal tainted departure from the California governor. What is so funny, by the way, as I see Kathy Griffin and all these people on threads that were just talking about a great Eric Swalwell was. This is always funny

when they're all like, and by the way, they all yell at me because I had J.D. Vance on. They're like, you spoke to Jady Vance. And now he's doing all of this. stuff and you have blood on your hands and you go well how about you all just were saying how great Eric Swalwell was five minutes ago and he's throwing women in a closet he's raping everyone you were all talking about how great this guy was literally last week and he's going around and throwing women down the well and you all tell me how great he was he understands California's the complex

ecosystem of, oh, I'm sorry, that sound, that's a woman that went down the well. Can you get up a little news story about what he did, Eric Swalwell? There's all kinds of photos of him, right? All these women are like, this guy's a creep. This isn't one of those, like, a misunderstanding thing. I think this guy's a real creep. You're yelling at me about JD Van. JD Vance doesn't attack women.

I don't think his wife even speaks to him. Eric Swalwell, what's going on here? Let's watch a little bit. By the way, the California, the New York Post moving to California is like obviously not helping. It's just the most hysterical reporting ever. And I agree with some of what the, but there's just no need for another media,

like another like psycho media institution in California. Like literally every, every headline from the California Post is like, homeless trans person, chokes, cha, and you're like, all right. Let's watch this here. Who's this? Is this Judge Janine? I think that's Judge Janine. Thank God.

So now Judge Janine now, friend of the show, Judge Janine, who looks drunk. I like Judge Janine because she's hammered. I looked at a house by Judge Janine in Florida years ago. This is a true story. And my realtor goes, you know, Judge Janine lives next door. And she, I swear, she walked out of her house at a certain point, like 30 minutes into the showing.

It was like a long showing. And he goes, Judge Janine, and she goes, what? And he goes, this is Tim Dillon. She goes, who? And that was it. And it was that warm welcome. But here she is. This is Judge Janine talking about Eric Swalwell,

who apparently was an amazing person up until last week when he started throwing women in his closet. Someone who was allegedly drugging, choking, raping victims. Drugging, choking, raping. By the way, by the way, drugging, choking, raping. That's what he was doing.

And then everybody on threads, because they're all geniuses, we're like, well, this guy's great. We've got to throw our support behind him. And he was drugging and choking and raping people. So this idea that like all of these people are

like omniscient guardians of truth all the time, you just supported a guy who was drug. drugging, choking, and raping people, which in fairness to Eric Swalwell was probably legal in California 10 years ago. But the point is this, all of these people are the same people that will attack any person

who thought Donald Trump had a good idea. That doesn't mean that he had a million good ideas, but he had some good ideas. And he still does, by the way. He's just chosen to not do anything about any of them. And instead we're invading Cuba. which is not what anyone signed up for. But these people with no irony

and no self-reflection at all who supported the drugging, choking, raping, Eric Swalwell up until 10 minutes ago, will tell you that everyone should be omniscient and know everything that's going to happen. Give it up for it. Let's listen a little more here to Judge Janine, friend of the show, Judge Janine,

Piro, a lot of people make fun of her alcoholism. I think a functioning alcoholic is more impressive than a regular person, and I always have. And let me dig into this before we go to Judge. When you meet my friend's father, and he died of throws to liver, it's fine, but when he was a functioning alcoholic,

like a guy who just every morning he wakes up, and the goal is just to plow through the day, or lady, to plow through the day so they can get back home to get booze in a glass. so that they can sit on their couch and go to that place where it's okay. They just want to go to that place where it's okay.

The second glass, when that second glass, that cork opens, that bottle of wine, that ice clinking in that martini shaker, they just want to go to that place where it's okay. And all day, they're actually pretty fucking productive. because the sooner they get what they need to done, they go home and they, and cleared for takeoff, they're ready to go.

They're out of there. And they're in that place where everything is warm and everyone loves them and everything's okay and everyone's proud of them. So I've always respected Judge Janine. I like functioning alcoholics. And I like when they get a little messy. They're going to get a little messy sometimes.

Judge Janine, take it away. The district for a significant period of time, I would expect there would be victims who might have information. What I think is really important right now is for anyone who has any relevant information or has any complaint. Hold on for a second. Judge Janine is now asking people with complaints against Wallwa. Is she prosecuting this case or they just bring this? Is Judge Janine have anything to do with this? I guess so, right?

What is, is Judge Janine like the attorney? General. Now, what's going on with Judge Janine? Oh, she's a U.S. attorney. D.C. U.S. attorney. So wait a minute. Was Pam Bondi replaced by Judge Janine? Hold on. What's going on?

I need to know this. She's a U.S. attorney. What is Judge Janine doing here? So she's United States attorney for the District of Columbia. So Google, who's our attorney general right now? I'm wondering, who is Attorney General of the United States right now?

now. Todd Blanche, right, the guy who cut the Maxwell deal. Good freak, right, okay. He can play the game. He plays the ball. So is she, is she like an attorney general for the state of California? No, she doesn't live here. She lives in Florida, right? What is Judge Janine doing? Oh, she lives in New York and then whatever. All right, whatever. So Judge Janine is a U.S. attorney, and I guess they're just bringing her on to, is she pursuing the Fed case. Okay. Judge, okay, so DC U.S. Attorney Jeannie Piro announced earlier Thursday that she has opened the hotline for anybody to give information about alleged sexual or inappropriate conduct in D.C. by the married Swalwell 45. Because you got to remember, Eric Swalwell was a congressman and then he was running for the governor of California. By the way, FBI director Cash Patel

has also encouraged any possible victims to contact federal law enforcement. I mean, this is a guy that told us there were no Jeffrey Epstein had no victims. Cash Patel is asking victims of Eric Swalwell to contact law enforcement so he can promptly delete their messages. Cash Patel wants you to call up and leave a message so he can send agents to your house and threaten you. Can you believe it, this goon? Patel goes, we should welcome him to sit down with the FBI

and share any information he has. Patel tauntingly wrote on social media Monday evening. Hey, release the files, you fucking fraud. You should be fired. victims shared harsh graphic stories being assaulted by the new former lawmaker with one accusing Solwell of sexually assaulting her at the Times Square Edition Hotel in April 2024. Well, I'm confident that Cash Patel's going to get to the bottom of this

because he's done a great job with the other victims. Right? With Epstein and all this. Like, he's done a phenomenal job with all the other victims. So this Eric Swalwell guy is out. So this guy's a bad guy. Okay? We're not going to go through every allegation.

He's a bad dude. He's telling women, let's go to the hotel, and I got to get some clothes, I got to pick some, whatever, he's doing some bad stuff. Now, Katie Porter, friend of the show, and our choice, this is, we're going to make an endorsement now because we don't endorse people on the show ever.

But we are endorsing right now, we are endorsing Katie Porter, because the Democrats will win California. It's not going to, a republic is not going to win. Spencer Pratt's not going to win. It's not going to happen. You know? I'm sure Spencer Pratt's a nice guy.

But I don't think he's going to win. But maybe he'll win. I don't think he's going to win. But I don't know. The polls are not looking, they're not too hot. We're going to endorse Katie Porter here because we, if we're going to, if it's all going to end, which it is, by the way, spoiler alert, we'd like to end it with Katie Porter.

We need kind of this hamburger helper abusive mom to kind of bring it all to heal. Let's watch a little bit of this because now this is Katie Porter outlining her priorities. Now, by the way, we don't need to know Katie's policies to endorse her. This is our new rule with any politician we endorse. We don't need to know their policy. And we've never endorsed politician before. We're going to start right now with Katie Porter. And we don't need to know her policies.

And in fact, we'd rather not, but we're going to watch this news clip anywhere where Katie is going to outline her priorities for the state of California. Now, remember Katie is, I believe, from Orange County. She's a mom. And she's mad and she's angry. So, and we need that.

We need kind of that energy because Newsom is too suave. He's like a slick scumbag. lives on a vineyard type of guy. We've had that. Cool as a cucumber, the fucking silver fox hair, all that, but we don't want that anymore. We need a mom who's angry.

We need a mom who occasionally shits herself. Not full on. Not like full on where it's embarrassing. But where you just say to yourself, I kind of shit myself. We need a mom. who is on a shot, takes a little Mujano, and then gets ahead of herself,

and has a little burrito, and he's got to go home and change the pants. And on the phone with her assistant goes, I shit myself! She's angry at the assistant that she had to spell it out, that she, that the assistant didn't automatically know what I have to go back home means. Well, are you going back home?

Is there something that I can pick up at your house? because you're actually running late. Hey, I got to go back home. Is there anything I can just get for you because you're actually ready 15 minutes late for that? I shit myself! And then there's silence on the other end of the phone. And then the person goes, understood.

That's what we need. We need a governor who screams, I shit myself into the phone. And then there's a quick pause and then her assistant goes, understood. Katie Porter. Former Orange County Congressman, and Katie Porter is a top.

Democratic contender in the race for California governor. Ahead of the June primary, Porter is among the Democrats hoping to pick up Congressman Eric Swalwell's supporters. That's right. Drugging, choking raping, everyone on friends. Druging, choking raping, drugging, choking raping. That's your boy. Keep going, sorry.

Tackling homelessness and giving free college tuition. KTLA's Annie Rose Ramos reports. Katie Porter says it's time for California's first female. governor. I think this is a time for women to lead. That's right. It now stopped. Katie's on a shot. Katie looks good now. She's on a goddamn shot. Katie looks good.

Fuck. Katie's coming. I'm proud of Katie. So now Katie is getting healthier because remember, she almost killed her assistant when her assistant mistakenly stumbled into the frame. So now Katie has started her campaign with it's time for women to lead. This is our first policy. Now, I like this policy because it's not about anything that the state is going through. It's not about the budget shortfall or employment. It's not about homelessness or crime. It's not about the fiscal health of the state. It's not about anything climate

related, fire prevention or anything like that. Katie's decided the most important thing is just to say it's time for women to lead. Now, you might think the mayor of Los Angeles is a woman. The mayor of the largest city, you know, the one that burned down, the mayor of the largest city in L.A. is already a woman, in fact, a woman of color. There's tons of women on the L.A. City Council. You know the council that governs the largest city in the United States of America? That's also a woman. The mayor of Beverly Hills, one of the wealthiest cities in America, is a woman.

Interesting. But Katie Porter has decided that it's time for women to lead. Let's, because I, so that policy I like so far, I like that policy because it does, it's not about anything. So that's what I like. So by the way, this is my, I tell everyone to stay above the fray. Just say things like that. It's time for women to lead and women to be listened to.

And so, okay, let's continue. Let's see what policy number two is. Katie Porter. I think it's a time for moms to lead. Okay. Stop. Stop. We have policy number two.

Policy number two from Katie Porter. It's time for moms to lead. Policy number two. Because again, this is the morning news. KTLA, Channel 5. They're in a disgusting park. They've put Katie Porter in one of those directing chairs. By the way, she's heavily drugged.

Not only on the shot. She's heavily drugged because, she cannot be, the thing about Katie Porter is she has to be on several medications so she doesn't punch this skinny bitch in a face who's bothering her. Now, Katie Porter is, now, can you Google if Karen Bass has children, the mayor of L.A.?

I'm just curious, I don't know. I don't really care about people's families, but I just want to make a point. I wonder if Karen Bass, the mayor of Los Angeles who's a woman, oh, she does have a child. Okay, so again, it's interesting because Katie Porter, I guess, does it know that the mayor of Los Angeles is a mom and a woman?

I'm unaware of this, but the mayor of L.A. is a mom and a woman. Many of the people on the L.A. City Council are women. Identify as women and believe a lot of them are mothers. And I know for a fact that the mayor of Beverly Hills is a woman, and I believe she has children. Google Mayor of Beverly Hills family. Again, I don't really like even talking about people's family. I'm just making a point because Katie Porter has said it's time for moms to lead,

and I couldn't agree more. Oh, Craig is now the mayor. Sharona and Nazarian is the one that I know. Craig just got elected. So a dude just got elected and replaced a woman. I thought it was a woman, but a dude did just get elected. And, yeah, she was a mother. She was a mom.

And she just did get replaced by a guy. But is she running again? I don't know. But the point is this. There's a lot of people in our country that are, and by the way, that are near Katie Porter. Like Katie Porter could meet these people and probably has. So we have a mother and a woman leading the city of Los Angeles.

That's pretty obvious. But so, okay, so the first two planks in the platform I like. Women are to lead, moms a lead. See, let's hit us, hit us with some specifics, Katie. Don't make us wait. Katie Porter again, friend of the show. A chair of three, who drives a minivan sort of famously. You must be acutely aware of gas prices.

Californians want relief at the pump. You say no to big oil. Well, one of our reasons that our gas is more expensive here is because we have something called the low carbon fuel standard. We have our own blend of gasoline. And now they see beautiful, clean air. We're seeing respiratory health go improve. That's because we have our own fuel blend. So to be clear, you would strongly oppose sort of opening up those refineries, drilling.

We have refineries open right now in California, and they need to stay open. So now what Katie is now talking about, the news person said, you're a mom, you have a minivan. And there's just pain at the pump. And Katie goes, well, we have pain at the pump because we have a low carbon fuel emission, blah, blah, blah. Standard, we have her own blend of gasoline, and now we have clean air and then respiratory health. By the way, a lot of people getting lung cancer that have never smoked.

Whatever. Katie Porter is now claiming that respiratory health is up. Now, I don't know how she's measuring that. Everyone I know is sick every two weeks. People are dying of lung cancer of 24 years old that have never touched a cigarette. But Katie Porter is now saying, actually, it's okay that gas is expensive

because... But the real answer is Katie Porter says, here's the deal. You don't have to drive far to attack your husband. You want to save the gas for the days when you need to show up at your husband's house with your ex-husband's house with a weapon. No, Katie Porter is, and now I understand what she's saying because you can't turn everything. Because the Republicans, if they were in power, would just turn everything into Mordor where everything's oil, sludge, and horror.

And I get that. We can't have that. So let's listen to a little bit more of Katie Porter here. Again, we're endorsing her. By the way, without knowing any of these policies, I don't even know what, and she doesn't know what her policies are. It doesn't matter. None of them do.

Actually, spoiler alert, none of them have a clue because once you own this dump, then you realize you can't really help anything. Nothing's going to get fixed. But let's listen to a little bit. Katie Porter. The most painful I've had in a long time, it's because of President Trump's war in Iran. That is why we're seeing $6.

She's right. She's hitting Iran and she's right. One of your platforms eliminating state income taxes for families making under $100,000. Doing this by making the corporate tax structure progressive. That does hinge, though, on a vote. My question to you is, what happens if you cannot get the vote? Is there, in other words, a plan B? Californians are going to be the ones, as you point out, who get to decide. And they understand right now.

She wants to eliminate state income taxes for people under $100,000. and do that by making the corporate tax progressive. I don't hate that. I don't hate eliminating the, I don't know how many taxes those people pay anyway. I'm sure they do pay taxes. I don't know what the percentage is, but I don't hate that idea. The thing about Katie Porter is she does have some good idea. She does understand that we do need to help people that have less money.

So, let's just finish this out because I do, again, I like her. I don't hate this woman. She's fun to talk about because she's abusive and cruel and all the things that I like and think are important, actually. But let's just finish up with her.

Over time, they get a big raise at work. They might pay a little more tax that year. They might get bumped up into a higher bracket. And they think it's absolutely fair that the same thing should happen for businesses. You're promising free tuitions at UCs and CSUs in part funded by that. progressive corporate tax. You just explained, can you drill down on some of the details of this plan?

My proposal is to pair two tuition-free years at a UC, a CSU, or a Cal Poly with those two free years at community college. Does this apply to people who identify as undocumented? There's no qualifiers on that with regard. So she's saying we're going to get free tuition, two years at a community college and then two years at a regular school. and that it'll apply to undocumented people too. It's whatever. She's basically saying, listen, we're giving you two years at a community college for free, I think, and then we're going to give you two years at a Cal Poly

or a thing like that. Now, here's the problem with school being the answer. School is not, get rid of her, by the way. Thank you, Katie Porter. We appreciate it. We'll see you on a campaign trail. I've offered my services.

No one's called me back. Folks, I mean, cell phone. are costing people way too much money. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless carriers also seem to be keeping my money. After years of overpaying for wireless, I finally got fed up with crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees and free perks. It actually costs more in the long run. And then I just switched to Mint Mobile. Stop overpaying for wireless just because that's how it's always been. Mint exists purely to fix that. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at 15 bucks a month.

All plans come with high speed, data, and unlimited talks. and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Bring your own phone and number activate the e-sim in minutes and start saving immediately. No long-term data contracts, no hassle. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months a premium wireless service from MintMobile for $15 a month. I love it.

I'll never turn back. I use this and you should too. If you like your money, MintMobile is for you. Shop plans at mintmobile.com slash Tim Dillon. That's mintmobile.com slash Tim Dillon. Up front payment of $45 for three-month, five-gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months. Only then full-price plan options, available taxes and fees extra.

See Mint Mobile for details. I'm telling you, you won't regret it. Mint Mobile, folks, take charge. I love the longer sunnier days of spring. Letting the breeze in, outdoor activities. We're doing a renovation on my house. It's just fun to see all the things change and beautiful. Everything comes to life.

but it also brings certain kinds of bugs. I like the warmer weather, but I'm frustrated by the bugs that like it too. Do certain bugs come around like clockwork? Yes, they do. So, you know, and some of them are, are they bugs? Are they drones? Are they taping you?

Who knows? I'm telling you right now, we have started spraying with Pesty. We don't see these bugs anymore. We're extra happy. We don't think about bugs. It's so easy to get started. We got this kit from Pestey.

It's effective, easy, and affordable. It's a do-it-yourself pest control. Everything I love about pesty is because it's customized and provided in one simple kit. They know your location, your season, weather, the type of bugs and pests you deal with. It's better than a store-bought pesticide, which is diluted and outdated. With pesty, you can get started at $35 per treatment with a customized plan based on your location. Bugs, climate. With a do-of-yourself kit, there are no strangers in your house for appointments to make time for.

favorite thing. You ever wake up and there's some guy going, hey, I'm the bug guy. And it's like, hey, man, get out of here. I'm trying to pray with my children. We, you know, and the bug guy's like, what's going on? Because I have everyone in a circle in the back. And I go, I'm praying with my family. And it's weird because it's, we're all kind of in these gowns. And I'm like, shut up. It's an ancient religion. And he goes, what? I was just told to come here and, spray the yard for bugs. And I go, it's actually John the Baptist is the real prophet and Jesus stole

the whole thing. And he goes, what? And I go, that's our religion. There's only 7,000 of us in the U.S. Ray Kump was telling me about these people. What are they called Ray Dalmatians? What is the John the Baptist people called? The John the Baptist people.

The Mandians. So the guy goes, Hey, I'm here to spray your yard and go, I'm a mandean and my family, we're here to worship John the Baptist. Here's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is this, isn't it good to do it yourself? Isn't it better to have the pest kit delivered to you? Pest you offers a 100% bug-free guarantee or your money back.

If the bugs don't go away, you'll get a free refund kit includes a sprayer, mixing bag, pesticide, gloves, and instructions you can complete in less than 10 minutes. Get bugs out of your house with Pestey.com slash Tim for an extra 10% off your order. that's P-E-T-I-E dot com slash Jim for an extra 10% off. Beautiful. Get bugs out of your house with Pestie. School is not the answer.

I don't know why we, and I'm serious here, I don't know why we keep this bullshit about school being the answer. School's not the answer. It's clearly not the answer. We literally just talk about the era of the mass layoff. Can you go to that article again? because by the way, all of those people that just got told to fuck themselves,

they all went to school. They all went to college. You think they didn't go to college to work in an Oracle? You think somebody found them on the street? No, they all went to college. They all have student loans. In Silicon Valley and beyond, companies are cutting staff and doing it with a big axe.

Instead of laying off people in more incremental and less disruptive ways, employers are seizing on the potential financing upsides, financial upsides of severing swaths of their workforce at once. That is a departure from not long ago and mass layoffs registered as a sign of trouble or mismanagement that a company needed to take drastic measures to write its performance. Now, such a company is more likely to get a big stock bump

and praise from investors for acting boldly. That's what the country we've created where somebody walks in and goes, we've fired everyone. You've acted boldly. You've acted boldly. put them all in the street. Behind the scenes,

so snap, got rid of 23% over the last year. Block shares had fallen 16% this year before it laid a 4,000, nearly half of its employees in late February. The stock has since reversed those losses and then some. So by the way, companies cutting employees tells the stock market things are good. This is how perverse this is.

So if you're eliminating thousands of people from your company and profits are going up that way, instead of your company growing and adding employees and adding market share, you're signaling we're going to eliminate human capital and we're going to eventually automate all of these jobs. We're going to use AI and the investors are going to benefit.

And instead of the stock market going, oh, you're in a precarious financial position that you need to ask all these people, they go, no, this is great. Let's get rid of them. Let's get rid of them and put them on the street. But here's my point. All of these people that worked at these companies

went to school. They all have degrees. Some of them have graduate degrees. and the idea that educate, you know, when I grew up, everybody taught, and they were not wrong. They talked about how important education was. Education is the key. It's in de-information age. Education is the key.

Don't be in a union, you pig. Don't work construction. Don't work with your hands. Be fat and work in an office. That's the dream. Have back spasms and work in an office all day. and have someone tell you when you move up a floor. You want the big office, Bob?

You want the big office, don't you, Bob? Well, you'll get it soon, Bob. Keep doing everything you're doing. We're looking at you. And we told people, we demonized an entire swat. of jobs, plumbers, electricians, people that work with their hands, people that work in unions, people that install HVAC. We said they were all animals and pigs and you want to, and they pointed at the people in the street doing construction, fixing potholes on roads that you needed to drive

over to get to your fucking house. And you said, you want to be like them or you want to go to college? You want to go to college. She could work at IBM and get cheated on. Don't you want to go to college you work at IBM so your husband can cheat on you with a child, your pedophile husband? Isn't it a nice life you have working in IBM? The FBI trained your husband out of the house pedophile? That's an aside. But the point is this, we've demonized so many jobs and so many fields. And then Katie Porter and all these people, they cannot help their snobbery.

It's not just Katie Porter. They cannot help look at it. down on people, they love these institutions. It supposedly convey some worth on people. And all of the sudden, all of these people are graduating from college into the weakest job marketing years and they have them. I'm not saying we don't need college. I'm not saying we don't need specialized skills.

There's going to be a lot of jobs for nurses and home health aides and, you know, people that run, you know, nursing homes and hospices and things like that. because we have, you know, hundreds of millions of people that are about to retire and that are retired and are about to really need end of life care. So I get it. You're going to need people to compete in highly skilled manufacturing jobs. You know, Taiwan's making all these chips because we haven't devoted a ton of time and resources to preparing a workforce to do those specially skilled high-end manufacturing jobs that will need as tech becomes even more. and more a part of the economic picture. But the idea that like school, now listen, I get it, go and be a teacher,

be a specific thing and go get a degree for a specific thing. But this idea that you're going to get a very broad degree in some type of discipline that can be a plight. applied anywhere. Ooh, and you also studied philosophy? Well, that's interesting. And that that is going to be your ticket. It's not going to work anymore because Sam Altman has opened the Stargate

and the AI demon is chasing you around that little Brooklyn apartment and he's going to sink his teeth into your neck. Don't be mad at me. It is what it is. You're going. to be eliminated whether you have your degree or not. So what Katie Porter should say, if I'm telling you, she should say we need a massive infrastructure project.

We need high speed rail. We need to invest in our public spaces. We need to rebuild bridges. We need to rebuild buildings. We need to destigmatize lots of jobs in this country and prepare people for incoming AI. and it's going to take a long time before AI is going out there to replace HVAC or whatever. We need teachers and cops and firefighters.

We need medical professionals to help homeless people and addicts. Okay? We need all of that. But to just say we're going to send you to community college and then put you at USC? What gives a fuck? For what? I have a master's in public administration. Shut up.

Shut up. I'm telling you, Sam Altman has opened the Stargate. It's not as easy anymore as going and getting an impressive degree and standing there in front of your fucking dumb family. Sharon's so smart. We always do she was smart. Is she smarter than the AI demon? Oh, I think not.

I think not. So what's coming is going to be incredibly disruptive. And it would be smart if our politicians started shifting our cultural values along with their priorities and start talking about realistic, rational ways for people to actually earn a living. But again, listen, we can all be wrong, right? Kicking, choking, drugging, raping,

choking, raping, drugging, your friend. You went to fundraisers at his house. You drank wine with him. You talked about how great he was on threads, Kathy Griffin and others. And by the way, I don't fault you. He said some nice things. Should I go around and faulting everyone? Is it their fault?

I don't think it's their fault. Kicking. Maybe I'm adding kicking. I think I'm at drugging, choking, raping is enough. I think I'm adding kicking to that. I think I'm adding kicking. I think it was, I think drugging, choking, raping. I think I'm adding kicking.

Can we just, let's get a little more Judge Janine here, just from the beginning here. Hear about someone who was allegedly drugging, choking, raping victims. Okay, I added kicking. It's drugging, choking, and raping. I added kicking. So as a journalist, I'm taking responsibility. I don't know if Eric Swalwell kicked them.

He drugged them, choked them, and raped them. I added kicking. I just got ahead of myself. I imagine when you were drugging, choking, and raping someone that you might throw a kick. So as a journalist, I want to apologize to the members of the press community for insinuating that Eric Swalwell who drug raped and choked women that he also kicked them.

He may not have kicked them. He may have kicked them and we don't know. But we support Katie Porter. It's time for women to lead. It's time for moms to lead because it's time for moms to go out there. Women, moms. Time for moms.

And not rich moms, minivan moms. I believe this. mini van moms who've had enough, that's kind of the, we need to pivot in that direction. Pivot away from Gavin Newsom, his silver hair, you know, his charm. You know, his wife's out there talking about killing someone. Remember she killed someone, Gavin Newsom's wife?

She went to some jail. She's like, you're all killers, but so am I. And we're all doing fine. She goes, it was an accident. I killed someone who's an accident. I killed you. And I'm sure you all killed someone as an accident. Try to get up. Gavin Newsom's wife, and then we'll end the show like this,

but Gavin Newsom's wife recently was like, hey, she went to a jail, or maybe it was a while ago, and it just surfaced recently. But she was basically, she killed someone by accident. So Jennifer Sybil Newsom, the wife of Gavin Newsom, yeah, she accidentally killed her sister. Make this bigger, please. She killed her sister back. Governor Gavin Newsom wife told inmates she had killed her sister in a freak golf carting accident in an apparent attempt to connect with them.

Yeah. Jennifer Sybil Newsom, an actress, documentary filmmaker, and wife of Gavin Newsom recounted her comments in a resurface clip from 2016. Speaking at a tech conference at San Francisco, she said she, quote, had to be very raw when she interviewed the young offenders for 2015 documentary, which examined how cultural norms about masculinity affected boys. I told them about my own loss, she says in the footage, with tears in her eyes. she said, I lost my eldest sister a few days before my seventh birthday,

and I blame myself for her death. Well, what, why? During a holiday to Hawaii in 1981, Ms. Newsom, then age six, had been playing with her eight-year-old sister, Stacy when the golf cart she had been driving, went in reverse and killed Stacy. Here's what happened. Do you want to know what happened? She said she didn't see the sister behind a car.

That's a lie. That's a lie. Here's what happened. She was on a golf cart, and she's young. She doesn't know golf carts kill people. She sees the sister behind her. She tries to scare the sister a little bit, and she kills her. She kills her.

It's manslaughter. It's manslaughter. I'm not saying, hey, you're a kid, but it's manslaughter. It's manslaughter. Well, in this case, woman slaughter, or as Katie Porter, would call it mom slaughter. Because it's time for women to lead. it's time for women to get in the golf carts and kill their sisters again and then go to the prison and talk about her.

But, and God bless Jennifer Sybil Newsom, whatever. God bless, get her out of here. But, and we, that's a sad tragedy and whatever. And she went to a jail and said, I'm sure all of you guys are in here because of a golf accident as well. Aren't all you guys in here because of a golf carting accident? And then some guys like, no, we actually dissolved the body of a guy in a tub. Right. So was it, which hole was that?

Hole 19? Yes, whole 19. The one after 18. The one off the course, hon. Anyway, that's Jennifer Sibyl Newsom, but that's not what we need. We don't need people, you know, with golf cart accidents in their past. We need a Katie Porter. We need a woman who at the public pool summer snack bar.

I want you to picture this. She's in Tiva sandals. Those are the sandals. They're not flip-flops. They're Tivas. They have the, get up Tiva sandal. It's the Velcro. Make that big.

She's in a Tiva sandal. There it is. Katie Porter is in a Tiva sandal at the summer snack shop at the pool. and she's on a line, and there's two people ahead of her. And one of them's some Republican dad. She just knows. She knows he's some fucking Republican dad. And she's standing there and her eyes are burning the back of his head.

And she's praying. She just wishes a freak lightning strike came out of the clear blue sky and just zapped him and watch him burn. and she stands there and she stands there and she stands there and then she gets one of the children nuggets and the other one pizza and she gets herself a Caesar salad and she sits down by the pool

and she goes, time eat, time eat! That's how she talks. Time eat! Get on the butt, timing! And the kid has one nugget and wants to go back to the pool and then the kid takes two bites of the pizza and goes back at the pool. And she's secretly relieved

because now she has four nuggets and 80% of a slice of pizza at the public pool. And the kids go back and play in the pool and she goes, fine, well, whatever. We'll eat later. And she quickly and quietly eats the nuggets in the pizza and she puts them in the garbage and she sits down

and her friend texts her and goes, listen, the Swalwell thing's breaking right now, drugging, choking, raping. We're back. And Katie Porter, with pizza, still lodged in her throat, and sauce on her fingers, looks at her iPhone, and she lives another day.

The gleam in her eyes could light a thousand torches through the woods. It's time for women, and even more than that, it's time for moms. Bye-bye.