The Tim Dillon Show - 494 - Alien Invasion & Trapped Trump

Episode Date: May 3, 2026

Tim discusses the sudden push by the US government to release UFO files, Trump being stuck in the Iran conflict with no easy way out, the assassination attempt at the White House correspondents dinner, and Erika Kirk’s unique style of grieving. Become a Friend Of The Show https://bit.ly/BecomeAFriendOfTheShow and get access to weekly bonus audio episodes of the podcast!Live Dates🎟  https://punchup.live/TimDillonSPONSORS: UpWorkVisit https://upwork.com/TIM right now and post your first job free! Ultra Pouches Go To https://takeultra.com & Use Code “TIMDILLON” For 15% OFF Your Order Hims EDGet simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED at https://hims.com/TIM Ridge Wallet Go To https://ridge.com & Use Code “TIMDILLON” To Get 15% OFF! American FinancingGo To https://americanfinancing.net/dillon Or Dial 866-886-5350 Start Today And You Could Even Delay 2 Mortgage PaymentsDisclaimer NMLS 182334, nmlsconsumeraccess.org. APR for rates in the 5s start at 6.196% for well qualified borrowers. Call 866-886-5350 for details about credit costs and terms. Or www.AmericanFinancing.net/Dillon▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬Subscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/@TimDillonShow?sub_confirmation=1Instagram:https://instagram.com/timjdillon/X:https://twitter.com/TimJDillonFB:https://www.facebook.com/TimDillonComedyTik Tok:https://www.tiktok.com/@timdListen on Spotify!https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds?si=e8000ed157e441c8Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same.#TimGivesBack

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome with the Tim Dillon show. I am sorry, we are late. We are never late. We are a day late because we have traveled to Los Angeles. We are doing the Netflix is a joke. Comedy Festival, which is really a good festival. I don't know if you've heard about this, but Netflix is taken over the entire city of Los Angeles.

And what I like about this particular festival is they don't have any passes. So usually you'd buy a pass and you'd get into a bunch of shows. But this one, you have to. to buy each show individually. And I like that. I want you to have to explain to your wife why you have to go see Jelly Roll and then the Comedy Jam

and then a couple of shows at the Hollywood Bowl and then me and then it's good. You got to tell your wife, honey, what are we saving for? We can't afford a house. I want to see Jelly Roll on Kill Tony. We can't afford a home anyway. Stop making the difference.

One ticket to Tim Dillon interviewing the cast of Selling Sunset is not going to make the difference between us getting a house or not. We just can't have one. Let's do the things we can have. Like going to see a live podcast at the comedy store. We're not going to have a house. So we are doing the show. We are interviewing the cast of Selling Sunset about Los Angeles and how to fix it. and how to celebrate it while we fix it,

how to really get out there and cherish the things about this city that are still magical. And we're bringing on these ladies and we're going to discuss the issues of the day that impact Los Angeles and affect it I, because I've given up on the political solutions. Solutions are now not going to come from politicians. They're going to come from other people, other cultural spaces.

It's not just going to be politics, you know? I mean, this is where the country's at right now. Everyone I know is smoking. Everyone is smoking cigarette. Every car, people are flinging cigarettes out of the window of their car. You know why? Nobody wants to be 90 here anymore. Nobody wants it.

The government has spent the last week talking telling you there are underground alien bases in the ocean. And maybe in the center of the earth. And those aliens are fighting each other and may start to fight you. And you know the response has been pretty muted from the public? It's been a pretty muted response. No one really cares that much. Nobody cares that much. The government's literally coming out and going,

hey, so we're being observed by a higher race of interdimensional. Wah, wah, wah, people don't care. People do not care. And I kind of love that. This bitch, Adapolina, whatever her name is, God bless her, Anna Paulina Luna, she's out there talking about interdimensional beings. Everybody, you know, that guy, Tim Burchett is out there saying they're under the water. And by the way, maybe they are, but no one cares.

Nobody's really worked up about it. That's where we are now in this country. No one's really worked up about the fact. And now this is all a distraction. have disclosed this stuff a long time ago. The reason they're disclosing it now is because they want to, they want people to go crazy now. So regardless of whether this is true or not,

or there's elements of it that are true, or maybe it's all true, but now they are trying to drive you insane. It is the last thing they have. They're actually trying to terrify you and drive you insane now. That is what the government's doing. doing this. Why they're doing this. There's no other reason. They don't, there's no other reason they're telling, unless there's some war of the world scenario they're cooking up that they're

going to, you know, I don't know what the hell they're going to do. But why would you start telling people this stuff now? The reason is quite simple. They are trying to drive you insane. they want you terrified and confused, and this is going to do it, because they're going to put a lot of information out about UFOs or whatever they're trying to do. Can we watch this? This is Trump talking about declassifying all the UFO info. Because, by the way, we're in a war with Iran.

The Epstein files, the rest of them are not going to see the light of day. there's going to be no prosecutions. There's going to be no. They're not even going to investigate any of that. That's all going away. Gas prices are dramatically rising. The cost of food is rising. Everything's going up.

And the last thing that they have here is to basically go, and there's alien bases under the water. There's alien bases in the ocean. So do that. do with that what you will. I guess that's what they're telling us. Do with that what you will. There's aliens maybe in the center of the earth that are interdimensional beings.

Maybe they come get you in the middle of the night. Stop bothering us about this war. Stop bothering us about these Epstein docks, by the way. We're the government. Stop. Leave us alone. And so they're going to come out. They're going to tell you all these things about aliens. They could have disclosed this a long time ago.

They chose not to. they could have dribbled it out. They're putting it all out in a week. They're putting it because they want you to have a nervous breakdown. Their goal is for you to have a nervous breakdown. The best case scenario here is that you have a nervous breakdown and are taken out of a traitor Joe's in a stretcher. That's what they're trying to do.

They're trying to induce like a mass panic in the population. I mean, it's true. Why else would, why now? Why else now? has it become important to start disclosing all this stuff about UAPs and UFOs and all this shit? Why now? Why would it be so important at the exact moment to do it now? They're trying to induce some type of psychosis in people.

Here we are, President Trump. First on the topic of space, do you have an update on the UFO files and what might be when we're going to be seeing us? Well, I think we're going to be releasing as much as we can. in the near future for some reason, and I guess it's just a reason that's been in the minds of people for a long time. That is such, they want to find out about the UFOs and anything having to do with UFO.

By the way, this is hilarious. Other than Rogan and like a few people I know, not one person I know wants to find that about UFOs. Not one, I'm telling you, I've never met a person who really cared that much about UFOs. I truly, like, I've never met one person who, who said, you know, my mom, you know, could have caught the cancer earlier, but we couldn't get a scan because she didn't, her health care lapsed.

And then followed it up by saying, I'm actually also really curious about UFOs. Not one human being of a, this idea that everyone's clamoring to find out about UFOs. Yeah, it'd be interesting to find out about UFOs. I'm a believer in alien life. I'm a believer that shit's going down. I'm a believer that we're being observed. They've probably visited. I don't know.

It's not something I've paid that close attention to. But apparently it's like the singular issue that everyone is concerned about. Not the price of gas, not a war that makes no sense that we're losing. Everybody is apparently really curious about UFOs. They want to know. They want to know.

And then with that knowledge, I don't know what we do. That's the other thing. What exactly shall we do with this knowledge that you're giving us? What exactly is the next? What's the next step here? Just give people, hey, a bunch of there's crafts. They've been visiting the plant. By the way, I believe, I get it.

Sure. I'm with you on that. Okay. But again, what's the act? What are, what's some, what's some guy he's supposed to do when he's sitting in a Panda Express? What's he supposed to do? Now that he knows this. Now that he knows that higher intelligence has been observing him at the Panda Express, where, where exact, what's he supposed to do?

Does anyone think about like, but this is where we're at now. No one even cares, by the way, no one really cares. The people I talk to, they don't trust the government. at all anymore. They don't trust the media. Everything that is told to them, they immediately, and by the way, they're kind of right to,

they immediately dismiss as some kind of op. They immediately dismiss it as an op. And they're not wrong. Their instinct is to go, why are you telling me that? Are you telling me this for my best interest? That doesn't seem to be,

the guiding principle of everything else you guys do. Why do I know this now? So let's watch a little bit more of this here, please. Or related material, and we're going to be releasing a lot of things that we have. And I think some of it's going to be very interesting to people. I've interviewed people, my first term primarily, but I interviewed some pilots, very solid people.

And they said they saw things that you wouldn't believe. So you're going to be reading about it. Yeah. Okay. Also get that Anna, Anna, Apollina Luna clip where she's going on and on.

There's interdimensional and Jady Vance says to demons. So I've, the interdimensional beings is what our witnesses will call these things. I have seen evidence in a skiff that leads me to believe there are things we cannot explain

and I have observed things that are of non-human origin. Can we explain the, the Iran war? But I'm just curious. I'm just curious because we, that wasn't the aliens, right? There was us.

So maybe these aliens are us from the future. That's what people say. They're time travelers from the future. Which is interesting. I'm not trying to dismiss this. I'm just saying, I'm always curious as to why now we're deciding that this all needs to be disclosed.

and we're supposed to trust and that the government has our best interest at heart. But let's continue with this woman. Observed things that are of non-human origin and creation. That's my opinion. Again, but there has been a declassification order from the president, and you will see as soon as that stuff comes up. She seems really happy. She's smiling and is happy.

She seems happy. So I guess it's not bad news. Is it good news? I don't know anymore what is good and bad news, by the way. I don't know that anyone knows anymore what would be a good news or bad news. That's kind of where we're at. In society where you go, what would be a good out of this? I don't know.

What would be bad? I guess if they're if they're gonna kill us that would be bad right but if they were gonna they would have done it already they have the power to do it if they have the power to I don't know I don't know get up Tim Burchett

Tim Burchett also goes they're under the water and they have bases and it's gonna I think Tim Burchett said something recently about this disclosure where he goes it's going to be indigestible somebody told him that whatever they're getting ready to tell us will be, quote,

indigestable, meaning that no one's going to be able to handle it. Like, you're not going to be able to handle it. Once you've heard whatever this is, you're going to just start, you're going to lose your mind. You're going to like run out on your family, get in your car, and keep driving. I don't know, but this is what Tim Burchett, said he was quoted as basically saying like, hey, an official told me, if we tell you guys what's up,

the American public, the world isn't going to be able to handle it. Nobody's citizens are not going to be able to handle it. They are not going to be able to take it. They're just going to lose their mind. And I don't know what that means. But it doesn't, it doesn't sound good. it doesn't sound good that it cannot be digested

and that people think that if it gets out, people are going to lose their mind? I don't know. Are people that shocked about that there are aliens that they're going to lose their mind? Can you imagine that if they'd say, yeah, there's aliens. Are people going to start going nuts about that? I mean, maybe.

I don't get that vibe. You get that vibe. You're going to be sitting down at dinner. and you're going to go, the government says there's the alien, somebody's going to stand up, go, what the fuck is going on? Is that what's happening? That doesn't seem like,

you know, you know, like, it doesn't seem like it's going to, everyone's going to lose their mind over that. If I was somewhere and the government disclosed that there were different aliens, they were alien, I go, yeah, yeah, there's, all right, there's aliens.

Yeah, there's aliens. stiff upper lip taken on the chin here. All right, let's listen to this, Tim Burchard. We have sworn testimony that there are recovered alien bodies. That is sworn testimony, under oath, not a secure setting, and nobody batted an eye, nobody laughed. And, you know, there's just kind of a gasp in the room that finally somebody said that. And it's come from so many different sources that we really need,

really need to get to the bottom of it. We've had testimony. I don't know testimony. We've been briefed before that, you know, of locations of where some of this stuff is. A member of Congress, a close friend of mine, you know, and I've read these books, how they'll somebody will approach you and stuff. And we're in the tunnel and just so happened to, there's no coincidences. And this guy said to me, he said, Tim, he said, why do you want to get to? to why do you want to do this? Don't you know this is going to disrupt everything? So that's Tim Burchard on George Santos's new podcast called Doing Time.

That is Congressman George Santos who went to jail again and then was pardoned by President Trump. He's out. And he has a, that's the gay conservative congressman who lied about a bunch of stuff and went to jail, I believe, for like fraud and identity theft and he's out of jail because of a pardon and has a new podcast called Doing Time. And that is Tim Burchett, a representative telling George Santos on his podcast, doing time, that there's recovered alien bodies. And I'm telling you right now, no one cares. Scaling a business takes the right expertise at the right time.

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That is upwork.com slash Tim to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's upw-O-R-K dot com slash T-I-M. Upwork.com slash Tim. I'm telling you right now, nobody cares. This is like the biggest. non-event, this level of news and the reception it's getting are so far apart. Because this should be in any sane society. This should be a very big deal.

But I don't think anyone cares anymore because nobody trusts anybody about anything. So, and I think also this idea that people are going to be completely blown away by the fact that there are aliens, I've never believed that. I always thought there was a possibility that there were aliens. Most people I know believe there's a strong possibility there's life in other parts of the galaxy or that there's multiple dimensions and that aliens, people jump between one dimension to another. I don't I don't is that going to unwind civilization

but what it what is I'm just curious like what exactly what's this about what's this about what are they preparing for here is this like they're going to do the end of the world so here's Dr. Stephen Greer he's been on the alien beat for a long time and now he's saying that rogue actors inside the government are now on the verge of staging

a fake alien invasion across the entire planet. Now, by the way, you realize this is going to be the most ham-fisted thing you've ever seen in your life because of who's doing it. This is going to be, this alien invasion will be the, if this

is true, and by the way, it might be, this will be the least believable thing that has ever happened. This will be a joke. If they try to do this, this will be the most embarrassing event of our time. That might end the world.

Forget the fucking aliens. This ham-fisted attempt to induce some type of global event and stage a fake alien invasion, which by the way, I could totally see these idiots doing. The way they do it and how poorly this is done will be the most shameful exercise in the history of the government lying to us. if they do this, there is zero way this is done with any success. This will be the biggest. I mean, you're going to see this and you're going to be smoking a joint with your friends laughing. You are going to be laughing at this attempt.

Stephen Greer, everyone. The big one would be this, what Vernabon Brown warned about in his death, but he said, they or we, he said, we are going to hoax an alien attack on the planet. It's all a lie, but it will trick and fool almost everyone. In a minute, they could stage this and it would fool, I mean, look at what they've been doing for decades, fooling everyone. Everyone's saying, oh, those are alien events. And, you know, our military guys chasing these objects thinks those are military, right?

But they're not. I mean, are alien. They're military. They want to unite the world around a military junta, a totalitarian system. And how do you do that? You know, how do you get one race or one ethnicity or one nation? But this guy's, but listen, get him out of here. I, whatever.

Maybe he's telling the truth. But he's been, he's been beating this drum for years talking about this. And I'm not, I don't know if he's right or wrong. I'm just saying this has been, this has been a thing for a minute that the idea that they could do this or like stage some alien event. By the way, anyone who thinks that this planet would be united by some alien invasion is insane. Maybe 50 years ago. Anybody who thinks that this planet's going to come together just because we have some common galactic enemy is nuts. This country won't even come together, by the way.

You think it's going to induce some type of patriotic? We're going to forget our differences. and then start working together to fight the alien? None of that will happen. None of it is going to happen. I don't know what could unite the country, but it's certainly not going to be that, by the way. It won't be a fake alien invasion.

Try it. Hey, by the way, I'm all for it. I'm all for trying it. Let's see how broken this system is. I think it's pretty fucking broken. within a day of the alien invasion, we will be at war with each other. Not the aliens. We will be blaming each other for the alien invasion.

Within 24 hours of the fake alien invasion, there will be endless coverage of this, and then it will break into the ideological bubbles and everybody go to war with each other. so I don't know what they're trying to do or maybe they're just basically trying to say maybe we'll induce martial law we'll induce martial law

to oh there's aliens everybody's got to stay inside down there's alien I don't think any of it will work I don't think any of it is going to work they can try I don't think any of it is going to work sorry Stephen Greer sorry

fucking who's ever in the underground military bases at Raven Rock or Cheyenne Mountain or wherever the hell you guys are. Sorry generals and spooks and men in black and the many layers of above top secret fucking people. I'm sorry, it's not going to work. Whatever you're doing is not going to work. It's going to be embarrassing and shameful. I'm telling you. Now they're saying there's 17 earthquakes and in less than 24 hours.

My producer told me this because he likes aliens and stuff. these, because these people, people think, well, if the aliens land, then can I own a house? No. No. By the way, no. Do I get a house then? No. What are you nuts? Absolutely not. What do you think happens, folks?

So when the aliens land, what happens? They give us technology and we all get cured of all our diseases? No. What? Are you insane? No, we're just trying to kill large numbers of you, and this might give us some cover when the aliens. People think the aliens land are going to give technology. Oh, we're going to get off fossil fuels.

By the way, aren't the aliens supposed to be bringing all the new technology? We don't need, we can get off oil. Well, the way we're talking about the Straits of Hormuz, it doesn't seem like that's happening. So where's the advanced technology that we're all supposed to get? when we don't hear about that all of these countries are panicking because oil's not going to the Straits of Hormuz

so if we were on the verge of some alien ship landing where they were going to hand us a bunch of technology and say hey let's get off the fossil fuels let's move into the next phase of your revolution if that was a why would people be so panicked about the price of oil and the fucking straits of Hormuz this is all fake obviously something is up

I don't know what it is I really don't know what it is. I can't know, but I do know this. Everything done from here on out is going to be the most embarrassing thing you've ever seen. The only word left to describe anything is embarrassing. It's going to be deeply shameful. You know, it's one thing to fear a government.

It's another thing to love and respect a government. It is a completely, it's another emotion entirely to be nothing but deeply ashamed of a government and embarrassed. And like confused by it. Like completely confused and disgusted by it and have no idea what's going on. Let's listen to this. 17 earthquakes in less than 24 hours. Where? Where is this?

Area 51? Yeah. Okay. And who's telling us this? This is a scientist? Like seismologist. It was like a local news coverage. All right.

I believe them. Hey, it's the internet. I believe them. Well, in the span of 24 hours, there have been 17 earthquakes near Area 51. It started with a 4.4 magnitude quake, just two and a half miles underground. The area is normally not prone to earthquakes this shallow. And it's leading to theories of nuclear testing or even UFOs because it all happened after President Trump said this. Do you have an update on the UFO fibles and what might be what we're going to be seeing?

Well, I think we're going to be releasing as much as we can in the near future. So the UFOs are causing the earthquakes or there's an underground war between different races of alien. By the way, I don't even care about that unless I see them. If I don't see it, I don't care. I don't want to hear about the underground war between the different aliens unless it becomes an above-ground war. Whatever they're doing in there, they can keep to themselves. They've been apparently doing that for a long time,

but we all have to learn about it this week. Everyone has to learn about the aliens this week. Otherwise, we're all, you know, we're dying. There people are dying to know about to. the UFO, they're clamoring, their spiritual entities, their interdimensional beings, they're demons, they're time travelers. This is where we're at in the country.

This is where we are. And just take a step back. And I don't know what's true and what's not. And I'm not telling anybody that they're wrong or that some version of this isn't happening. A lot of scientists seem to be getting lit up. So something's going on, but I don't know what's going on. And no one does, apparently, but I guess we'll all be finding out soon. I guess we'll all be figuring out what's happening soon.

We'll cover it. We'll keep covering it. I don't know. I don't know. I can't have a huge, I don't have a huge, I don't have a huge. opinion on it. Other than, I will tell you this. If anyone believes, I'll just restate it again,

that any of this will be unifying, they are insane. There will be no unifying moment where everyone, that doesn't happen. That's out of a movie. If they stage a fake alien invasion, it's to put everyone, it's martial law, and they know everyone's not going to get unified.

So if there is a fake alien invasion, it is probably what Stephen Greer said where they're just trying to, everybody's going to fall in line quick. But make no mistake, that invasion will not be believable. It will be, it will be like watching a bad school play.

It will be a horror. And you will watch it and go, I don't believe any of this. I think it's fake. And you'll look at your wife and go, I think it's fake, but they're probably going to put us in camp soon. That's what your wife will say. She'll be smoking a butt

because everyone's smoking now. and she'll look at you and go, this is probably fake. And you'll go, yep, and you'll go, but I think they're going to put us in camp soon. I think that's what this is. Because it's going to look like the shitty opening ceremony of the Olympics. That's what it's going to look. If they do a fake alien invasion,

it's going to be like Cirque de Soleil, because it's going to be so over the top and ridiculous. And just know that if you're watching it, I'll be watching it with you. I'll be watching it from my home. You'll be watching it from yours. Just know that we'll be, soon, we'll be in camps. Maybe I wouldn't have been in a camp, but I opened my fat mouth and insulted everyone in this fucking administration.

But so now I'll be in a camp now, too. So just know that we're all going to be in camps if there's a fake alien if there's no unifying moment and no one believes that there will be. And you're not even going to believe the event that puts you in the camp. you will not even believe it. It's going to be so bad, it's going to be B-movie-level horror. It's going to be so bad that you're going to go,

oh, you're going to, this is kind of bullshit, huh? This is kind of bullshit. President Trump says he does not believe there is a link between the disappearance and deaths of multiple U.S. government scientists. Interesting. Well, okay. Sure. Fine. I'm okay. I get it. I've drank too much caffeine. Ever woken up immediately and needed a nicotine pouch or a cup of coffee to just feel like a human? How many pouches, cups of coffee and energy drinks you need per day to stop yourself from crashing? Or even from feeling nicotine withdrawal. That's why I started using ultra pouches. And they've been a complete game changer for my focus in energy. First off, these pouches are completely nicotine-free and caffeine. free. You're probably thinking if they don't have nicotine or caffeine in them, what exactly is in them? Great question. Ultra partnered with leading neuroscientists and designed these pouches.

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In other news, and I hope you're all coming to this show, this selling sunset show, by the way. I really hope you're coming to the show. Because it's going to be a spectacular. You know, this city needs a boost of self-esteem and it hasn't had one in a very long time. And I think that this show is going, and it's also, it's, it's, it's, it's important for people to come out and celebrate what else is, what else is happening.

That isn't bad. That is in home invasions and all of that. You know? every day someone sends me another grainy ring cam photo of a home invasion. And I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I feel bad about these. But we are going to raise the spirits of people that are coming out. So if you are a victim of a home invasion,

buy the ticket to this show. If your home burned down, buy the ticket to this show. buy the ticket to this show. If a loved one has died of a fentanyl overdose, buy the ticket to this show. If you are an actor or writer whose job has been eliminated, buy a ticket to this show. I'm telling you it's worth the price of admission

because you are going to be uplifted by the experience. if you are experiencing homelessness and you can buy a ticket to this show, come out to this show. All right, what else is going on here besides aliens that are fake? And maybe they're real, but we don't care. We don't care. We'll care when we're all watching a fake. staged alien invasion that is not convincing, not well produced, and that is deeply suspect.

And everyone's going to know it's fake. Your five-year-old's going to know it's fake. Your five-year-old's going to know it's fake. Iran War may cost so far it's cost us $25 billion. Well, it's a small price to pay for freedom. It is. Do you want to live in a free country or not? I'm sick of the naysayers.

It is a small price to pay for freedom. It is a small price to pay. 25 billion dollars for the peace of mind, peace of mind, to go to bed every night knowing that Iran has been attacked. I don't know that they've been demilitarized or de-militarized or denuclearized, really. But just knowing they've been attacked, that's what makes me happy.

I don't need all these, quote-unquote, results. Just knowing that they've been attacked puts me at ease. I don't know what that's accomplished, per se, but it doesn't matter. The fact that we've attacked them and will continue to, um, makes me relieved. I'm relieved. I feel safer and better about most things in my life that Iran has been attacked.

U.S. asks to move Dark Eagle hypersonic missiles towards Iran. So here's the way I think it's going to play out. Now, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the alien thing is a pivot. We know we're fucked with Iran. That's not going to work. We couldn't beat Iran. but maybe we can beat fake aliens.

Think about this. Who cares about Iran if we can defeat hologram AI aliens. That might be the pivot here. That might be the pivot. I'm not even, I know that I'm kind of kidding, but maybe I'm not. Because we're not getting out of this. This thing's not going to go.

This thing's not going our way. And you know that. You can feel it. It's, it's, it's, you can feel that it's not going our way. You can feel that it's not working. You can feel that Trump wants out of it. You can feel it. This is not, this is not what he does.

He's not a real fighter. He's like a shit talker. He's a casino kingpin. He's a reality star. And if you like reality stars, which is selling actually pretty well there at the Wiltern Theater. But that's what he does. This is not Patton.

He's not a general. He's a reality star. He's a shit-talker. He's very comfortable in that game. Late night, firing off tweets at Elizabeth Warren, that's his game. Talking shit with Mika and Joe, Morning Joe. He's comfortable doing that all day long. No, a rally?

Forget it. standing there for three hours talking extemporaneously off the cuff, he's all in. And that's what he does. This is not where he shines. And he feels uncomfortable. You can tell he's not happy about this because this is not what he does. This is also further reason you can feel that he was really pushed into this.

He felt like he had to do it for whatever reason. But there's no way that he wanted to do this. because this is not where he lives. This is not what he's good at. It's not what he's good at. Trump's the guy who was like walked around a military base or I believe Walter Reed or it's an army hospital and he was basically like, yeah, why do they do this?

Like, because he doesn't get it. He's like, why would you go sacrifice for the country? He's like, don't you want to be rich? You get pussy. Like, he didn't get it. He doesn't get it. Like, that's who he is. So he's, this is not a place where he,

feels comfortable. This is not what he does. So the idea that he wanted to do this, I think he was sold on it. He was sold on it, but he didn't know what it was because he'd never done it. Everything was like kidnapping Maduro

or, you know, we're going to kill Soleimani, this Iranian general. We're in, light touch, boom, I destroyed ISIS, whatever, did he? One of them's running Syria. It doesn't matter. It's a light touch. No one cares.

It's akin to, reality TV. Because that's what he's the master of. He's the master of creating a reality that's true enough. That's what reality TV does. If you watch it, you know it's not real, but it's real enough.

Yes, they're actually cunts on the Real Housewife show. Are they put in these situations and plied with alcohol? That is also true. Are these things arranged to make them more entertaining? Of course, you suspend disbelief. But it's true enough. The divorces are real.

People don't like each other. You know, these things are true enough. And Trump lived in that world for a very long time. So basically, he's a master at creating a reality that has elements of truth. But the things that are glaringly untrue, you know, I don't care because it's entertaining. Because it's entertaining. So it doesn't matter.

The components of the things that are provably untrue, like indisputably lies, he doesn't care. And neither are you because you're laughing, you're smiling. I can't believe he said that. It's entertaining. This is not a good show. That's the biggest problem here for D.T. This is not a good show, and he knows it. He knows this is not a good show.

Trump is well aware of why he is the president. He knows this country better than most people, maybe anyone. And it's not a nice thing. It's the line from the end of succession when Brian Cox looks at Jeremy Strong and goes, they're having dinner and he goes, I know things, not nice things. And that's why I turn a buck. I know things. not nice things

and that's why I turn a buck Trump knows that when Zelensky was in the Oval Office and Vance and Trump were berating him that was great TV Trump knows when he said to Hillary because you'd be in jail

that's great TV this is the opposite of great TV it isn't exciting it's not nearly as engaging as it needs to be. So what you have is a bunch of people that are checking out, which she doesn't like.

They're tuning out. They're turning it off. And so when they turn it off, you got to remember, they go out into the world, the gas prices are high. The food prices are high. why this fucking war. But they're not watching his show anymore. So he cannot tell them exactly why things are the way they are.

Because people are turning this shit off. They don't understand why it happened. It's embarrassing. Our military bases have been blown to Smithereens. It's embarrassing. The limits of our military power have been exposed. It's embarrassing. People don't want to watch that show.

That's not a feel-good show. That's a terribly embarrassing and depressing show. So people go, I'm out. And Trump knows that. So he's doing these little things to try to get them back in. There's aliens now. Are you back watching? Can you come and watch again?

There's aliens and they're under the water. Or even this. We're moving Dark Eagle, hypersonic missiles towards our end. It's the final. blow. He keeps using words like that, the final blow. But there is no final blow. So eventually people just turn it off. It's like a soap opera. You never see the last episode of a soap opera. You turn it off. You get sick of it. You grow up. You get a job. You get a boyfriend. Whatever. What this has become for Trump is a total unending nightmare.

and he's in this weird stalemate when no one's really doing anything and he keeps like threatening. Now hopefully he just keeps threatening and we never go back in there. Hopefully nothing even happens. Hopefully this trade opens up. Things normalize.

Everybody apologizes, whatever. Seems unlikely. But that's kind of what needs to happen and he just keeps tweeting final blow. You know, truth socially, final blow. It's the final blow is coming. This is the first time that I have watched Trump

where it feels boring. And when I say that, I don't mean to take away from the horrific loss of life, by the way. I'm not taking away from that. None of that's boring, obviously. It's a terrible tragedy. Trump himself seems to be over it. He doesn't want to do this anymore.

he's stuck in a web. If we pull out now, it's an admission to the world that America's military might, I believe, is, you know, a lot of people look at that and say it's been greatly overstated and that we're not going to make commitments to our allies. We're not going to make commitments to the things we say are important, right?

So he doesn't feel like he can do that. But also this final blow, a world war, dropping a nuke, all of this isn't possible. The generals have told him we can't do the things you want to do. Now, Trump, no one told him this at The Apprentice. Everyone was pretty much like, yeah, what do you want to do? Yeah, we can do that. We'll find a way to do that.

We'll find a version of that that will be okay. It'll be true enough. It'll be true enough. And that can't happen here. So they have to start with the aliens. They have to start with the aliens. There's nothing they can really do now. He's stuck and it sucks.

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or Americanfinancing.net slash Dylan. So what he's trying to do, he's thinking about legacy, he's trying to build this ballroom. We're going to play this in a minute where he's basically going, hey, guys, we need this ballroom. Some teacher from Caltech, who seemed to be completely sane,

but I guess had a mental break and believed he could run through the hotel where they were doing the White House correspondence dinner with a weapon. This is, again, a mechanical engineer at Caltech who you would think would realize, who went to Caltech who was a teacher who would realize that running into a ballroom with a weapon is suicide's death.

Now they're saying he might not have fired his weapon. I don't know they're looking at forensics or whatnot. But I don't know what happened. I get it. Whatever. I'm not saying it's a false flag or whatever. I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying this is what happened.

A mechanical engineer, not a lunatic, not like a psychopath, like a kind of functioning, productive member of society decided I'm going to write a manifesto and grab a gun and run into the Hilton. And maybe, you know, maybe that's exactly what happened. Maybe that's 100% what happened. Here he is. This is, is Cole Allen? Yeah.

Is this like a little interview he gave? Yeah, this was a couple of years ago. He was on ABC 7th story. And listen, people snap. My mother was a schizophrenic. I'm aware of the fragility of mental health. It happened over many years. It wasn't like one day we noticed and went,

oh, this crazy bitch. It happened over a while. But this guy snapped. Here he is. Let's listen to him. This is Cole Allen. Developed a prototype for a wheelchair emergency break. College student Cole Allen developed a prototype

for a wheelchair emergency break. The wheelchair brakes tend to lock the wheels, but don't actually walk the chair to the ground. The idea with this is to prevent it from moving at all. Recent aging into the future conference held by St. Barnabas Senior Services and the Eisner Foundation offered a test run on products that have the potential to enrich the lives of seniors. 14 different tech startups got to present to over 350 people.

and the hopes of getting their projects into some sort of senior health facilities. All right. So he was trying to get an emergency break on a wheelchair. And then, you know, a couple of years later, he's running through the ballroom with a gun. He's trying to get into the ballroom with a do in the White House correspondent center. Here it is. Here's a video of this. He's running through the metal detector.

You'll see him in a second. Here it comes. Okay. Well, you know. So now, now this underscores. scores the need for a ballroom with the many subterranean layers in a command center as well. So here's Trump talking about the ballroom. He's now building a ballroom.

And this will be a great part of his legacy, I believe. Here he is talking about the ballroom. I'm building a safe ballroom. And one of the reasons I'm building it is exactly what happened last night. We're building a room right there. If you walk out and move 20 yards to the left, you'll be right at the entrance to the ballroom. And that ballroom is being built on the safest piece of property in this country, probably one of the safest pieces of land in the world. And this has bulletproof glass.

This is the highest level of security. Also, very importantly, I could have built sweets on top. I could have done a lot of things. Here's the other thing. I don't really hate the ballroom aesthetically. I know a lot of people don't like the ballroom aesthetically. I don't hate it aesthetically. I really don't hate it aesthetically.

I think that it is a nice ballroom. Yeah, I mean, truly. Like, it is actually nice. Do I think it's the best use of taxpayer money? I don't know. Probably not. But I do think it's a nice ball. I do want to say that because I know people listen.

I do think it's a nice ballroom. And I do think it would kind of be a nice ballroom. If you were going to watch a fake alien invasion, you'd want to do it from that ballroom. You'd absolutely want to, because it's bulletproof glass. Now you'd think, well, the aliens will find a way around that. Probably not. Probably not. You build a secure ballroom.

You build a secure ballroom. I don't care who these aliens are or where they live in the center of the earth or under the water. They're not getting through that ballroom. He built a safe, but it's a secure ballroom. Also, there's aliens that are going to kill you to tonight. Do you see how it all works? And you're supposed to not go insane. The ballroom is secure. The alien bases are under the water. We have interdimensional time traveler, demons, but the ballroom is secure because there's bulletproof glass. You see? Doesn't it all make sense? Isn't it all add up to anyone?

It all adds up. We're being supervised by higher intelligent races of interdimensional time-traveling demons. But when they see bulletproof glass and this ballroom, they're not going to fuck around. Why would they fuck around? They're not stupid. They happen to have the power to travel here

from a distant planet or hop dimensions or whatever. They probably have technology that far exceeds anything we have, but a bulletproof glass ballroom is a universal symbol in the universe. It's a universal symbol in the universe that people know not to fuck around when they see a ballroom like this. They're not going to fuck around. So all of this is happening at once. There's the importance of the ballroom because it has bulletproof windows

and it's a beautiful design. And he could have put sweets on top, but he didn't. also, just as an aside, we have demons that are jumping through different dimensions that are in a war with each other, but also, you know, are, you know, are afraid of the ballroom. They don't want to fuck around. They're not going to get through bulletproof glass windows in the ballroom. No, thanks. So just put all of that in your head.

Hold it all in your head at once and try not to go insane. It's like a fun, it's like a fun game show where every few hours someone tells you something else and you try not to go insane. That's what our whole country has become now. Every five minutes someone whispers something in your ear and you try not to go insane. Because nothing relates to anything else. In fact, everything's kind of contradictory. If we're on the verge of figuring out Do we have all these alien things?

What the fuck's a ballroom gonna do? You'd think that, right? No, nope, nope. All we need is a solid ballroom. In fact, that's how we fight the alien. You remember all those alien movies where you build the ballroom? If you build it, they will come.

That's the ballroom. That's what they mean, the fucking ballroom. That's what they mean. They're not going to attack a ballroom. They have class. So all of this is happening at once, and your job is to try to not go insane. It's the new game show called Try to Not Go Insane. We Dare You. We dare. Try to not lose your mind. We dare you.

Hypersonic Dark Eagle missiles going to Iran. Demons in the earth. And the ballroom's got bulletproof glass windows. Gas is going up. try not to try not to lose your mind we dare you so all of these news stories just float in and out

and then in two weeks by the way no one will talk about the aliens by the way because that's every story by the way to call Allen thing's done that's done assassination attempt number three is done um assassination one and two

no one understood they're done Epstein's done everything just moves on and you have to move along with it. So basically in a couple of weeks, maybe not even, they're just going to go, yeah, we get his aliens around. What do you want? Shut up.

There's no focus. There's no attention span. It's all good television to Trump, except the Iran War, which is not good television. And he's keenly aware of that. But this entire thing's just good TV. And you're supposed to sit there and you passively watch it and you go out, you get your shitty job.

and you have less money than you did the year before and your kids have bleaker prospects than they did two years ago and they'll have bleaker prospects and they do two years from now. You'll have probably less money and less job security than you do two years from now. You'll have less disposable income. You're not going to be able to help your kids buy a house. You may not be able to help them, you know,

if they get hurt in a car accident. God forbid. Because you've lost health care, your health insurance. They're no longer covered, whatever. And you don't have the liquid capital, the physical money to help them. But the government has now become 24-hour reality TV that you're supposed to watch.

I mean, let's get up Erica Kirk, please, too. Let's take this. Let's watch Erica Kirk here. Is this the fake one? We've got to get the real one. Get the real one. That is funny, though. I mean, this woman, just be less famous.

There's a very easy answer for whatever this woman's problem is. Be less famous. You can be less famous. Like, that's allowed legally. You can be less famous. Take a beat. You're oversaturating. I've seen this before.

I've seen A-listers. go down the tubes because they don't know when to stop shoving themselves down people's throats. Take a beat. Take a minute. Regroup. Grab your team. And by team, I mean, children. And go, go, make a dinner or something.

The woman won't stop. And then she gets mad that people keep making fun of her. It's because she won't go away. You can be a bit less famous. Go on. Erica Kirk, Fred of the show. But nothing will ever be enough for the evening. in this world. Our country has become unrecognizable. These people have the aliens.

...added the truth to the point that they motivated the murder of my husband. They have continuously tried to assassinate the president. And anyone who stands in their way is labeled hateful, racist, fascist, and every other trigger word that is grossly dishonest. We want the best for our country, they don't. She doesn't, all right, just pause it. She doesn't have to do this. Like, take up this mantle. You know, it's getting to a point where, you know,

I feel bad for this woman. I really do. You know, what happened to her husband was horrible. I mean, I don't know her. I've never met her. I know people that know. Some of them like her. Some of them think, you know, I don't know what's going on.

Some of them are confused. I'm confused. I'm confused. I'm confused. I don't know what's going on. I don't know why she's choosing to continually be everywhere. She's like everywhere. Like you got to take a minute. Take a minute.

Take a minute. Slow it down. I'm not telling you to stop. Slow it down. Slow it down. That's the great lesson here. Slow it down. take a beat, take a minute, take a breather. This is a full court press.

We don't need it. We don't need it because if you put yourself out there, people are going to go, listen, you're a political figure now. People are attacking her. Because the woman, this is not the way I've seen anyone personally grieve. Personally.

I've never seen anyone grieve lately. I'm not judging the way people grieve. I mean, I guess I am. But people grieve in different ways. I've never seen this way. That's all. I'm allowed to say that. I'm allowed to say it.

By the way, not being mean to her, not saying what happened wasn't horrible. I have personally never seen a human being grieved this way. I've seen people grieve many different ways. Never this way. That's all. That's all I'm saying. That I've never seen a person grieve in this particular.

way. This strain of grief is new to me. That is also, I'm adjusting to it. I think America's adjusting to it. And I think her beef with people is that we're, we're not adjusting quickly enough to her way of grieving. We've just never seen this one before. This is a new one. Give us a minute with this. Let us adapt to this. Let us adapt to this way of grieving that, and if it's her way to do it, It's her way to do it. Far be it from me. I'm not trying to take away what she needs to do. I think people need to do what they need to do.

And if this is what she needs to do, that's fine. I'm just personally confused and I'm, you know, a little shocked. And it feels a little bad taste. That's all. That's all I'm going to say. Does it make her a horrible person? It's just a new way to grieve. We're all, we're all learning together what she needs in the moment.

Free advice. As always, give advice free on the show. I do like you to pay me money in other ways. But free advice to her. Take a minute. Take some time off. Take some time. We all need it.

Take some time off. And then return with whatever. you want. I don't care what you do. Write a book. Do a one woman show. Go on tour. I don't care. If I'm her, I'm popping up again around Christmas. I'm taking the summer and a lot of the fall. She's not going to want to pop up around Halloween. That's the devil's holiday to her. You pop up around Christmas. You pop up around Christmas. A lot of this will be probably forgotten. God only knows where we'll be is a country at that point, and you can just come back. It's fine to come back, but you need to go away to come back.

The people will be excited if you give it a minute. Go away, and then when you come back, it'll be exciting and fun, and people will forget about a lot of this behavior that they're confused by. So just do that. It's free advice to her, a friend of the show. Truly, I don't know what. what's going on. That's really what, that's a theme of all things. Never met the woman. Feels very odd to me. The whole thing. The whole thing feels odd. I guess there'll be a trial with

Tyler Robinson. It will all be convinced of his guilt. Right? I guess that's going to happen. And I guess when that happens, fine. I don't know that he didn't do it 100%. It smells off. It feels off. for sure. And I'm not saying she whacked the guy. I'm just saying I'm sure there'll be a trial and everything will be put to bed and to rest and will all be satisfied with the results if there's not an alien invasion first.

I imagine if there's an alien invasion first, this trial and all other subsequent trials will get put on hold. Good night.