The Tim Dillon Show - 499 - Iran Forever, Belfast Riots, & College Commencement
Episode Date: June 13, 2026Tim discusses vice president JD Vance saying the Iran War would be “history” in a year, Knicks fans assaulting Spurs fans in the NBA Finals, rioting in Belfast after a migrant knife attack, Noah ...Baumbach’s awful college commencement speech, and Bari Weiss continuing to destroy news media. Become a Friend Of The Show https://bit.ly/BecomeAFriendOfTheShow and get access to weekly bonus audio episodes of the podcast!Live Dates:🎟 https://punchup.live/TimDillonSPONSORS: Ultra Pouches Don’t Sleep On @ultrapouches New Customers Get 15% OFF With Code “TIMDILLON” at https://takeultra.com Morgan & Morgan Got to https://forthepeople.com/TIM Or Dial “POUND LAW” Their Fee is FREE Unless they Win! Hims EDGet simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED at https://hims.com/TIM HexClad Find Your Forever Cookware @Hexclad And Get 10% OFF at https://hexclad.com/TIM Helix Go To https://helixsleep.com/timd For 20% OFF Fourth Of July Sale! (25% OFF Luxe Mattresses & 30% OFF Elite Mattresses!) ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬Subscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/@TimDillonShow?sub_confirmation=1Instagram:https://instagram.com/timjdillon/X:https://twitter.com/TimJDillonFB:https://www.facebook.com/TimDillonComedyTik Tok:https://www.tiktok.com/@timdListen on Spotify!https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds?si=e8000ed157e441c8Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same.#TimGivesBack
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show.
J.D. Vance says war is done in a year.
How cool is that?
One more year.
We've been a little skeptical here of the Vice President, Jaddy Vance.
But I think it's fair.
One more year of a war that no one wanted that we seem to be losing sounds like a good deal.
I mean, another 12 calendar months.
of humiliation on the global stage with economic ramifications for all seems fair.
It can't end tomorrow another year of a humiliation for this country
and further proving that we are not militarily capable in the way that we thought we were.
Jady Vance says Iran war will be history in a year.
Well, good.
And what kind of history will it be?
That's the real question.
Fun history.
Remember that war in Iran, you'll say, wasn't that a hoot?
Fun, fun, fun.
The war in Iran.
Trump wants Karg Island, which is the home of the Iranian oil infrastructure.
President Trump said the U.S. military will attack Iran very hard tonight.
But then he keeps doing this thing.
where he threatens the regime with a bombing campaign or ground troops,
or he kind of, you know, teases nuclear annihilation,
and then nothing happens.
So it's an interesting strategy.
We just threatened to do something, and then nothing happens,
and then the Iranians tell us to fuck off.
And then we go, hey, you want to end the war now?
And they go, not really.
Not really.
So I think the straits of Hormuz are closed again.
Here's the other thing about these wars.
After a while, you just start losing, like, you know, you'll be talking to people.
Is the Strait of Hormuz open or closed?
They go, I don't know.
Who knows?
After a while, like the Russia-Ukraine thing, it made me think about it.
They're in year four of that, whatever the hell that is.
Wars don't work anymore.
Russia should have been able to beat Ukraine,
even though we gave Ukraine a bunch of shit.
We gave them a bunch of weapons, some money.
But Russia should have been able to handle that, but they didn't.
And we should have been able to take care of Iran, but we did it because wars don't seem to work.
You can't win these things unless you start nuking everybody.
and there's nothing to win.
What would you even win?
If you win, you lose,
because now you have this country
that you have to control.
We all learned all of these lessons with Iraq and Afghanistan,
and actually we learned the before that with Vietnam,
but no one really cares
because there's a lot of money to be made in war.
And there's a lot of money to be made in the chaos,
right after a war in like the aftermath of a war.
So the goal here, I don't even know is the goal to win?
Do the people who are, do the people who push this stuff even believe we can win?
Do they even want to win?
What is winning?
Or is it just kind of like, what if we just had chaos and missiles flew around
and they killed some of our guys
and we killed some of their guys
and, you know, we hold some territory,
give some territory up.
That's what they're doing in Ukraine and Russia.
I don't even know what's going on in Iran.
No one knows.
But it doesn't seem to be,
you can't govern the world anymore
with this use of force.
You have to do it the way the Chinese did it.
They did it with like TikTok.
They did it with corporate espionage.
They're doing it with a belt and road initiative.
They're going all over the world.
They're like building schools.
They're, you know, making investments in countries and Africa and other countries.
The economic reality of the Straits of Hormuz being closed is more of a disruption to the global economy
than a missile flying into a base in the UAE.
Even though nobody wants to see a missile,
nobody wants to see U.S. military base is blown to bits.
I didn't.
Some people do.
But that's clearly not as much of a thing
as the Straits of Hormuz.
That's all they talk about with this war
because it's a choke point
where you could sever the pathway
where a huge amount of the world
I think it's 40% or something like that gets its oil.
40% of the world's oil or something in that,
in that capacity goes to places like Korea and Japan
and all of these places that need oil.
And so this idea that you can just militarily affect the change you want in the world,
you're 20 to 27% of the world's petroleum and crude oil
goes through the Straits of Hormuz,
20 million barrels a day, which equates to roughly 25% of all global maritime oil trade.
It's a big number.
27, 30%, whatever it is of the world's oil being cut off is a very big number.
So you cannot affect change in the military, you know, the way that you thought you could.
It's an economic game now.
It's an economic game.
So I don't know what's going on.
I would like the war and I ran to end,
but we have to find a way,
this is what we have to do, listen up.
We have to find a way to declare victory and leave
and claim to have achieved our objectives,
albeit,
realistically, this was a huge,
humiliation. There's no other way to really say this.
But listen, you get knocked down, you get back up.
This was a big disaster in every way.
The messaging, the actual strategy, everything was bad.
From top to bottom, this whole thing was a nightmare.
But if there's one thing we have in America, it's a rabid sense of delusion.
I was just in another country in England for many days, almost a month.
They don't have that.
And some people say, well, that's sad.
They don't have it.
Because it's nice sometimes to have a, you know, quite unhealthy level of delusion.
Most people in our country walk the streets with a level of delusion that in any sane
society would put them in a straight
jacket. If you've
ever listened to anyone
for more than, I don't know,
three minutes, you're aware of how
psychotic most people in this country
are. They all believe
they are the star of their own movie
and they are building an empire.
You know, when you leave the country, you realize people go on
dates and fuck and
go to Spain and they drink wine
and they enjoy their lives.
you know, you go on a date in America, it's like a nightmare.
You're sitting across the table from somebody who's like,
if I just get the right team around me,
I can finally accomplish what I'm looking to do.
I have to build the right team.
You know, I had these ideas,
but nobody was really supporting me when I needed them to support me.
But now that it's starting to bear fruit,
I have to make sure that I have an infrastructure in place.
It's crazy.
Everyone's crazy.
So those are the people we're communicating with.
So we don't have to,
we don't have to stick
stick around in Iran.
We just have to find a way
to cowardly and shamefully
run away,
back out,
run away,
shamefully,
while seeming like we are the victors.
This is possible.
It's America.
I have faith in us.
We must turn tail and scram.
But while doing that, scream about the victory.
Tell people how victorious we are.
Shove it down their throats.
We must come up with some way to prove that this was a massive success
while running away like cowards.
It is the only way out.
It's the only way out.
In the middle of the night,
we must move all of our military out of that area
and we must have a big press conference here in America
and we claim that we've destroyed Iran
and their capabilities.
have been significantly decreased, and we only stopped hitting them because we are
humanitarians at heart.
That might be the angle here.
We only stop because they begged us.
Now, meanwhile, Iran's telling us, fuck you, let's keep fighting.
Forget that shit.
We need to say the only way, the only reason that we stopped that war is because they were
on their knees begging three days of clash.
show the Iran conflict is entering a dangerous new phase.
President Trump warns Iran will, quote, pay the price for not reaching a deal as both sides.
But then he said, we have a deal like reason.
You know, when I record this, I just check my phone before I sit down and go, is there a deal?
And there's always a deal.
And then there's always kind of not a deal.
So that's why the only thing for us to do is the most American thing in a world.
Run away. Run away.
run away while screaming that we are humanitarians
and that we came in there
and we destroyed their capability to detonate a nuke in Manhattan,
which is again why we went into this retarded war
was because Iran was going to have a nuke
and they were going to detonate it in Manhattan during the Knicks.
and by the way, can I save for a minute here with the Knicks?
I wish I had, I wish I shared the passion that other people do
for team sports
because the level of excitement that people have over, you know, their team winning
is something that I've never shared in.
And it's sad.
I like when the Knicks win.
I like good things to happen to New York.
But I don't have that thing in me
where when they win, I would want to...
You know, I saw a guy and he's hitting a Spurs fan
with a street sign, and him and his friends
are stomping out the Spurs fan
and breaking his ribs with their feet.
That level of passion is something that I don't have,
and I regret not having.
I actually feel like my life would be better if I understood where that came from
and if I could harness that type of energy.
I've seen things on the internet regarding this where I'm looking at people,
it's like full, like cops and riot gear on horses.
people, just a melee in the middle of the street,
people getting beaten within an inch of their life
because they had a Spurs jersey on.
And I wish, I really wish,
I had that passion for sport.
Because to me, it is fun to be a part of something.
It is fun to grab a stranger
who is walking out of a game,
who is rooting for the opposing team and give them brain damage.
It probably is fun.
Now, I'm morally against it,
but I'm just saying I can't access that level of excitement,
that level of devotion where I go,
so what if I go to jail for attempted murder?
This is my team and this is our night.
So if I happen to break someone's neck with all of my friends
because we're stomping on their face outside of the garden.
That's just what we do.
And it's not only in New York, it happens in the UK.
They shut down trains that connect different towns in the UK
when football matches are on
because they don't want people getting on trains
and going to the opposing teams town and killing them.
this is insane to me.
I can't understand it.
There's no part of me that really understands,
number one, delighting so much
in the accomplishments of people you have nothing to do with,
which by the way is I understand that that's what the whole thing's about.
And I'm for it.
I think all that stuff's good.
The pageantry, the sport, the excellence,
watching people that excel at what they do.
They're at the top of their game.
Blah, blah, blah.
But what I don't understand,
is the need immediately to go find someone in the street after the game and kill them.
I don't get it, but I feel like I wish I did.
Does that make any sense?
I wish I could understand it.
I wish, because I look at it, it seems savage and inhumane and all of that,
but maybe I'm just being a pussy.
Like I want to understand what it feels like.
like to go, remember after game six, we killed that guy?
Remember after game six?
That guy came walking out trying to find his hotel and we just killed him.
We just stomped on his rib cage until one of them pierced his heart.
You know, like, remember that.
That was, that was fucked up.
Yeah, but, you know, that was game six.
I know it was all on the line.
That's what you'd say.
you'd go, yeah, it was all on the line.
But these are the people you have to explain the Iran War to.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't really matter.
We don't have to give them a coherent explanation as to why we're leaving or not.
They're trying to kill each other over a basketball game.
Why do we have to give them a coherent explanation?
Why in this one area do we have to be honest about what happened?
Lie and cowardly run away and say that we did it.
They're decimated.
We won.
It's got to be better than threatening them over and over and over again and doing nothing.
That's got to be advantageous for us as a country to just stop threatening them and just run away.
It's okay.
It's what America does after a while.
We get bored of these wars and we leave.
And no one, because it's rah, raw in the beginning,
but none of them have like a big definitive end.
they just go on and on and on.
And it's a straight of Hormuz, hope you stop caring.
And, you know, the casualty numbers trickle in.
They trickle in.
There's a lot of gamesmanship at the Pentagon press conferences.
They switch out a defense secretary here and there, a general here and there.
You know, but most people check out.
Most people are already checked out of the Iran War.
They just don't care.
They don't need a big finish.
They don't need it.
This is all wars forever that I've ever remembered.
They start really big.
And everybody's excited because we're going over there to fuck them up.
And then we usually declare victory prematurely.
And then over a period of years, we quietly kind of get out.
That's what we do.
there's no big you know it's not like we stand up there with the head of the guy that's that doesn't work
anymore it doesn't work it's not going to work foreign wars are over civil wars are back folks i cannot
say enough about ultra pouches ever woken up and immediately needed a nicotine pouch and or a cup
of coffee just feel like a human how many pouches cups of coffee and or energy drinks do you need
per day to stop yourself from crashing or even from feeling nicotine withdrawal.
Do these things cause anxiety make you feel on edge?
That's why I started using ultra pouches.
They've been a complete game changer for my focus in energy levels.
I've really just tried them, but they're kind of amazing and they're changing my life.
First off, these products are completely nicotine-free and caffeine-free,
and you're probably thinking if they don't have nicotine or caffeine, what exactly is in them?
Great question.
Ultras partner with leading neuroscientists to design these pouches.
They use clinically proven neutropics and adaptogens to deliver immediate focus and smooth energy that lasts one or two hours.
More specifically, they use affinity PX, althenin, Aalpha GPC, and vitamins B6 and B12.
I love ultra pouches.
Did you know it was possible to feel this energize and focus without any nicotine or caffeine?
I did not.
I didn't.
I didn't.
I didn't.
I didn't.
I was in the dark.
I was in the dark.
people said to me,
did you know
it was when I said,
well, no one told me, okay?
I didn't know.
I thought I had to use nicotine and caffeine
to have energy and focus.
I usually see myself keeping it at the office
right by my computer every day
when I sat down to work, I pop one in.
Trusted by athletes, entrepreneurs,
and engineers around the world.
What do you want, folks?
Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch
delivering instant focus and mental clarity
without nicotine or caffeine
new customers can use the code
Tim Dillon to get 15% off
Take Ultra.com
for 15% off with the code Tim Dillon
after you purchased it
will ask you where you heard about them
Please support our show
And tell them how our show sent you
Do it
Bring up Belfast
Some of the riots in Belfast
My people
Of course not in the north of Ireland
I'm southern
I come from my family comes from Ireland.
Anti-immigrant riots leave Belfast on edge.
Everyone is afraid.
So here's what's going on.
More news out of the UK.
A Sudanese migrant refugee guy
was trying to behead another guy in the street.
And there's video of this.
And I'm really reticent to play it
because, you know, we've played a lot of grisly videos on this show.
We played that kid getting stabbed last week.
Of course, we've played things Megan McCain has said.
I don't know if we want to really go into this year.
Is there a way for you to bring up a video that's not as grisly?
But, I mean, you know, it's got to have a little grizzle,
but not, we don't want to go over the top here because,
again, it's a guy in the street,
and then there's another guy sitting on here.
him and beheading him or trying to behead him in Belfast, Northern Ireland.
Well, by the way, when me and Sam Talent went there and had a great show,
there is a great pizza maker there in Belfast who does an amazing job.
And you'd say to yourself, and he makes Detroit style, all these different styles of pizza.
He's amazing.
I don't know his name.
We'll get it.
But it's great pizza.
And he made individual, like these big pizzas from me and Sam Talent.
and I would wish I had his name because I would support him
and he said, let's try to find it out.
Belfast pizzeria because this guy,
and I mean he's probably running around at a bala clava,
lighting things on fire right now.
But it doesn't matter.
The pizza was so good.
Yeah, I think it's one of those award-winning guys.
Did he win an award for this?
Is this the greatest pizza on earth?
Was that him?
It's got to be him.
How many flout pizza?
So let's shout out flout pizza in
Belfast because they have truly some of the best pizza I've ever had.
Now let's get this beheading up.
But check out flout pizza in Belfast.
If you need to refuel while rioting and burning and killing,
flout pizza and Belfast, some of the best pizza you will ever have
because rioting does, can't riot on an empty stomach.
All right, so here's this guy cutting the head off another guy.
in Belfast, Ireland.
Daddy still killed him.
Hurry up.
Daddy, some big he can't.
He's not.
Does he got nice?
Yep.
Get off him.
Can we stop it for a minute?
This isn't a great commercial for migration.
I'll tell you this.
You know, of all the,
this isn't like the reading rainbow
of migration ads here.
You have a Sudanese migrant
cutting a guy's face off in the middle of the street.
The aesthetic of it
not great.
Just after 10.30 p.m. last night on Kinnaird.
Kinnaird.
Avenue, North Belfast, a man was slashed and stabbed in a frenzied attack
with a suspect on top of him on the ground repeatedly hacking at his head,
a neck in what looked like an attempt to cut his head off.
Blood everywhere.
You know what was good at Flout Pizza, too?
He has a honey.
He puts the honey on it, but it's sort of a hot honey,
but it isn't, you know, so much of the hot honey now is all you taste as a honey.
He didn't do that.
I think he used a sourdough crust.
It's really good.
He's an artisan, and I don't say that lightly.
So this guy's trying to cut off this guy's head.
He's a foreign national.
He's shouting in a foreign language during the assault.
So he's on top of the other guy going,
And so now play some of the other guy.
the Belfast rights because the people of Ireland, they've had enough.
They've had enough of this stuff.
And obviously, listen, let's make a disclaimer here.
Obviously, that this, you should not be going up to innocent people.
No one should be justifying burning the homes down of innocent people or violently
attacking innocent people.
This was wrong during BLM.
It's wrong now.
Everybody knows that it's wrong.
But there is an issue with migration all over the world.
And this has got to be figured out because this is causing massive instability in these countries.
And we're going to, listen, people that you bring into your country,
should be adding value to it.
That doesn't mean everyone will.
But if you bring people into your country,
they shouldn't be cutting people's heads off.
They should go, I have a fun new food.
I've come to your country and I have a fun new candy.
Take a look at this.
It's Turkish delight, which I don't love.
But you know what I mean?
People that come to your country,
they've got to add a little something.
You know, by and large,
Mexican population, America is really hardworking, Catholic, family oriented, great food.
Does that mean that we don't, you shouldn't have a border and everything like that?
No, you got to have a border, you got to, you know, but Mexican immigration's added.
That doesn't mean that you can't have a conversation about the levels of immigration.
How many people should come in?
how do you, you know, figure out a way to screen people?
All of that's important.
But immigration should be a benefit to a country.
You can't just have people coming in.
And I'm not saying everyone's beheading everybody, obviously.
But if a guy in the middle of the street sits there and is trying to behead someone and screaming in his native language,
that is not, by and large, a phenomenal advertisement for,
continued migration.
It's just not.
There are images that are
seared into your mind
and that doesn't mean that it's representative
of all immigrants that come in.
It's obviously not.
But this is a very bad commercial.
For example,
I grew up at the golden age of advertising
commercials, you know?
Every, my father cried.
This is how much my parents,
my boomer parents loved being
propagandized and lied to.
my father cried at the Bud's Wiser Clydesdales that took a knee
there was a great commercial with a Budweiser Clydesdales
took a knee in Jersey City
staring at the World Trade Center
and the World Trade Center was gone
obviously this is post 9-11
and it said from one American icon to another
let's see if we can find that commercial
my father cried at that commercial
My father did not cry when my mother said,
I'm going to divorce you.
He didn't cry when I said I was gay.
He didn't cry when many of our family members have died.
But he did cry at this.
Sobbing like a psychopath, like a drunk psycho.
Tears falling down his face at this.
At a beer company, paying homage to an inside job.
That's all they wanted, the boomers.
That's all they wanted.
They took a knee.
It is.
This was powerful.
This is power.
That's a powerful commercial.
We'll never forget.
Budweiser.
Get drunk and kill someone with your car.
Anyway, the point is this.
Commercials played a big role in my life.
Advertising plays a big role in the American psyche
and, dare I say, the psyche of people all over the world, right?
An image matters.
And if you, for example, let's just use a toothpaste,
Crest toothpaste, who does not advertise on their show,
so I feel very comfortable giving an example of Crest toothpaste.
Usually the Crest commercials are like,
I got a date and I got to use these white strips
to get the stains and the rot off my teeth
and the smell of rot out of my mouth.
That's the cresting, right?
Now, if the Crest commercial instead was a guy drilling
into the roof of his mouth with a drill
and blood coming out
and the guy was clearly mentally unwell
and psychotic
and they said,
crest white strips,
it can even help this guy.
And he was drilling into his mouth
and he was sitting in an empty room,
a dimly lit empty room,
and he was drilling into his mouth
and the blood was spurting out.
And then they called the executives in
and they go, hey, hey, hey,
what happened?
What is this?
My point,
here is this. This is a bad commercial for immigration. It is a very, very bad. And the government of
the UK and the EU, which has now become really a supranational organization where all these countries
are losing sovereignty because the EU is determining the levels of immigration, or it certainly
wants to. And the EU is determining fiscal, just determining, you know, monetary policy, eventually
fiscal policy.
The EU is determining the greenhouse gas emission standards.
The EU is a supernational organization in Brussels
where they're going to decide how countries like Ireland are governed
and what the people in those countries have to put up with.
So, play it again, just play that again.
And again, it's grizzly, but I got to make my point about a commercial.
This is a commercial for continued Irish migration.
Here it is.
Let him hurry up.
No, he's not.
Is he got a knife?
Yep.
That good.
All right.
Get off him, your fucking rot.
That's great.
Play her.
Let's hear that one more time.
Get off him, you fucking rot.
Is he got knife?
Yeah.
Get off him, your fucking rot.
Your fucking rot?
All right.
So, the people in Ireland do not want to beheaded.
And of course,
that is racist.
Obviously it is racist.
If someone ceremonially is beheading you
because they come from a country where that's done
and you don't understand that,
that is an inherent racist attitude that you're having
that you need to look into.
You need to look into and address those feelings,
just like if you're unattracted to trans people,
you're transphobic.
If you don't want it to be beheaded in the middle of the street, you are a racist.
On some level, it's buried, it's deep, it's buried.
But if you look at a guy screaming in a foreign language while he cuts the face off one of your neighbors
and you go, I don't like the direction this is heading in.
You have an internalized racism.
Just like if you don't want to go out with a woman and suck her cock at the end of the night,
you are a transphobic person.
This is just, now it may be buried.
It may take years of therapy on earth and get out of you.
So let's look at some of these riots now because people are unhappy.
And this is what happens when people feel like they don't have power to affect change anyway, but violently.
The BLM riots.
People may agree or disagree with them, but a lot of black people in this country felt like policing,
there was not enough accountability for bad cops.
who did things to the black community
and then were able to escape without any accountability.
And that frustration, that anger, the fact that the American justice system
has been incredibly unfair, you know, putting nonviolent drug offenders in jail for many,
many years, ruining their lives, giving them felonies,
the inherent issues with that same.
system, which most of us realize, the anger there boils over and it becomes something that's
uncontrollable.
And here, in the same way, that people feel like they cannot affect change, they cannot get
the government of their country to listen to them.
They're begging for less immigration.
Whether you agree with it or not, it's still a democratic country.
They do not want it.
Every poll shows that they do not want it, but they cannot stop.
it. They have no power to stop it. And so now here they are out on the street. This is Northern Ireland.
Belfast.
Tonight police firing water cannons against rioters as they threw projectiles back. A new evening of
more violence exploding in Northern Ireland. Protesters building a blockade. Homes and vehicles
set on fire this week. Here, a bus ablaze in Belfast. Just violence upon balance.
Like my neighbor's house was set on fire.
My neighbor's house was set on fire?
Stop it for a second.
My neighbor's house was set on fire?
My neighbor's house was set on fire?
What did my neighbor do?
I don't even know if that's...
I should be able to do it brogue.
Orters.
Horace.
Hold on.
Am I getting close to it?
Oh, this little bit.
How this is it?
Here.
Oh, come over here, Roddy.
Come over here, Declan.
and he cut his head off in the middle of the street.
And we sat on fire.
Well, anyway, I'm trying, I'm not making light of it.
Obviously, I'm saying that it's not good,
and it should, they need to address the concerns of the people
because there's massive riots there.
When I was watching that guy tragically get almost beheaded in Belfast,
I thought one of the crazy things is that I don't think they have Morgan and Morgan.
A Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm with over 100 offices nationwide
and more than a thousand lawyers with over $30 billion are covered for over 500,000 clients.
Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation.
They just won in Florida.
They just won a $644 million verdict for a client after the defense argued that the victim and his wife should receive nothing.
When hiring Morgan and Morgan, it's like hiring an army to fight against big insurance.
If you were injured by the negligence of another, you deserve to get paid.
and the best part, they're fee, free, unless they win.
If you were a loved one has ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan to learn more.
Go to 4thpeople.com slash Jim or click the link in the description below.
That's FOR the people.com slash Jim or dial pound law from your phone.
This is a paid advertisement.
Hyms.
Many people talk about ED, but they don't.
They don't talk about it.
So they're, you know what I'm saying?
good.
If something's been off in the bedroom, you're not the only one.
A lot of guys wait longer than they need to take action.
The difference now, getting real treatment is simple
and through Hymns it's 100% online.
At some point, you stop blaming stress, sleep,
or just getting older.
If bedroom performance is a question,
has probably crossed your mind to do something about it.
The good news, you don't have to jump through hoops to fix it.
ED is way more common than most guys think.
Millions of guys deal with it at some point,
and that's exactly way Hymns
offers a straightforward way to handle it.
Hymns connects you with licensed health care providers online,
giving you simple access to legitimate ED treatment
to get simple access online, personalized, affordable ED care,
visit hymns.com slash Tim.
That's hymns.com slash Jim free online.
Visit hymns.com slash timp.
Prescription required.
See website for details, important safety information.
Sledenafil is a generic version of Viagra.
Viagra is a registered trademark of Viatris.
Specialty LLC.
Hems is not affiliated with or endorsed by Viatris.
Elon Musk is talking about this and other issues.
Now it's Trillionaire, by the way.
Congrats to Elon Musk for making a trillion dollar.
I feel good about that.
You know, I do think it's good
when someone has a trillion dollars.
I do.
I think, you know, if I,
I wanted to give a commencement speech
and I was not allowed to,
I petition several colleges
and it was nose across the board.
And then they've got, we had Noah Baumack.
You see that speech at Vassar.
It's like, oh, it's so genius.
Noah Bomback, these like dumb cliches.
He's like, you know, I'm Noah Bombach.
It was whatever.
It was mediocre, slop.
I'm not saying he's not talented.
It was a mediocre slop fest that speech.
It was a slop fest that Noah Bomback bullshited Vassar.
And I watched it because everyone's like,
he got a standing ovation.
It's profound.
And the whole thing's about he wrote a play in college
and it got a bad review.
But he persevered.
gives a fuck. These commencement speeches suck. So it was like that, it's like masturbatory
crap like that, or it's like somebody just going, get on board with AI, or we're going to kill
you. And I prefer the ladder. I prefer the ladder. It's honest. I prefer a commencement speech
where someone goes, you got to get on board with AI or we'll kill you one way or another. Instead of
Noah Bomback's mediocre
slop fest
that I had to watch this crap.
Let's play a little of this crap, please.
Thank you, President Bradley, and the Board of Trustees
and the faculty for welcoming me today.
And congratulations to the amazing graduates.
Go in the middle. Get in the middle. Go in the middle of this.
Just anywhere.
If this rebuff is enough to deter you from continuing writing...
This is the guy who told him.
...in that profession.
Right.
If you can take away something positive from each rejection, you will be growing and inevitably improving your craft.
Please extend our warm greetings to Brad Salmson, who is the stage manager.
Sincerely, da-da-da-da.
What is this?
Keep on.
And so I'll leave you with this random man's vitriol as you all go out into the world and seek your fortunes.
Believe that was the end of this speech.
When I read this letter at age 20, I was stunned.
It was difficult to know what to do with this feedback.
If we can call it feedback.
And when I found it in a box again at age 45, I thought well.
He's still holding on to it.
He's so successful.
These people are, it's unbelievable.
He's still holding, he wrote a shit play in college.
Some guy said, your play sucks.
And he's still holding on.
And he's trying to, like, shame the guy with a commencement speech at Vassar.
because this guy can't get over.
He's still like a 17-year-old.
And this is supposedly amazing.
And I can't give us to keep going.
I want to keep watching this.
I'm accustomed to rejection.
It could never be as bad as I remembered.
Amazingly, it was kind of worse.
By the way, this is the worst thing
that ever happens to these rich...
Stop it for a minute.
The worst thing that ever happens
to these rich cunts that go to Vassar
is someone tells them they're not as much
of a genius as they thought they were.
This is the only problem
that most of them have had in their life
is that someone at some point in their life
and I know Obama back's supremely talented
and I wish he believed that
so he wasn't up here talking about this rejection
he got 30 years ago
but you know
they automatically immediately
all the kids are on board with this
okay
because they're all like yeah
well yeah I totally get that
because like somebody told me that I was actually not a jail
keep watching this and this
was billed as like the commencement speech
everyone had to watch. It was so great. Keep going.
I wish I could tell you
that this is one of those. My retard agency
will probably set up like some meeting with
his production company next week or something.
I'll just be sitting there.
I'll be like I'm a huge, I'll go like
this. I'm a massive fan.
And I saw, he did a commencement speech
recently. I thought it was brilliant.
I thought it was actually kind of brilliant
the way he brought up a
rejection. He got
40 years ago at Vassar
that he's still holding on to?
Wow, that was so amazing.
Keep going, keep going with this.
Where everything happens for a reason
and when a door
closed, a window opened, but it wasn't.
After I received this letter,
I did not wander out into the street in a days
and get hit by a car, and the driver
of that car didn't turn out to be my future wife.
And the surgeon who fixed my leg
did not turn out to be a famous producer
who wanted to make all of my movies.
None of that happened.
And I wouldn't meet my future wife for another 10 years, and we'd get divorced.
All right, it's fine.
It was a good bit.
It was a good quip.
No, there was no unexpected rose that came from this sharp thorn.
So why do I share this with you?
What can we learn from this?
What?
Tell me.
I'm waiting.
Well, I would caution any playwrights in the audience to send their work to this specific producer.
But when I looked him up a few years ago, I discovered that he'd passed away.
which also put to rest any hopes I had of reaching out to him
and inviting him to the Oscars.
Oh, how gross.
How gross.
How petulant, childish and gross.
How petulant, childish, and gross.
That you're using your commencement speech at Vassar
to settle a score with a dead guy.
They didn't like a shit play you did 30 years ago
before you even knew how to do the thing you're doing.
What a disgusting.
Get him out of here.
But so what a shit play?
What I wanted to give a commencement speech, this was going to be my commencement speech.
Ready?
I don't know who would let me do it.
And I'm going to freestyle it as I do every episode, everything I say.
But I don't know who would let me do.
What college would let me do it?
A community college, right?
Like Fresno or something in California, it'll be a shit one.
Be a bad one.
Because they have graduations for community college because certain people from a community
college will then go off to a four-year degree.
but most of them, after they graduated community college,
they will then start a terrible life.
But they don't want that to be known.
So there is still a graduation.
I don't even know if they have commencement.
Can you AI, ask one of the AI,
Claude or whoever, ask them if they have
commencement speakers at community colleges,
because that's what I would be doing.
I'd be giving a commencement speech at a community college to losers.
Yes, community colleges frequently include commencement speeches
in their graduation ceremonies.
Try to YouTube one.
YouTube Community College commencement speech.
Who is going out to do?
We don't know a bombach goes to Vassar.
Vasa.
Who's doing them at the Community College commencement speech?
Who would do...
Oh, my God.
Is this real Fresno?
This is amazing.
Who is this?
This is a guy who's giving a speech at a community college.
somebody named Mr. Paul Calvo.
Who the hell's that?
Okay, let's listen to him.
Can we listen to it?
Did that volume?
What is it?
Hopecore music?
What is?
I'm very curious because I just said Fresno as a joke,
not even realizing it,
but that's kind of interesting
that the Fresno Community College
even brings in a commencement speaker.
I would figure they would just bring in a public defender
to tell everyone about their rights
and about that they didn't have to consent
to a legal search and seizure.
And if your wife accuses you of hitting her,
never say anything before there's a lawyer.
But apparently they actually have a commencement speech,
which is amazing.
But anyway, my commencement speech would have been this.
I would have gotten up and said,
Elon Musk, ready? I'm at the community college commencement speech.
Now, I'm dressed just like I am.
I'm not dressed.
up. I'm not dressing up. And I tell the kids that I go, I'm not dressing up. This is no longer a
world where we dress up. There's nothing to dress up for. Am I right? Did you dress, what did
you wear a suit when your brother died of fentanyl? Because that's the only thing left to wear a
suit for anymore when someone you know is dead. Anyway, it's good to be with you here at this commencement
speech. I want to thank Fresnoe Community College for inviting me. Elon Musk is worth a
trillion dollars. What do you think about that? He's worth a trillion dollars and what have you done?
You've sat in this school and you've listened to teachers, talk to you about the future.
You've listened to teachers tell you that hard work and dedication to craft and honesty and
integrity mattered. And maybe it does and maybe it doesn't, but who cares? A billion dollars is not real
money. Look at me, Fresno Community College. A billion dollars is not real money. A hundred
million dollars is a joke. It's a fucking joke. To have a hundred million dollars is a fucking
joke. Oh, is this him without the...
You are about to be handed is real. Let's see what he says. It will open doors you cannot see from
where you are sitting right now. Yeah, the door to a jail cell. I know some of you are transferring.
some of you stop it right there
that's what he goes he goes
I know some of you are transferring
but most of you this is it
this you went to Fresno Community College
and now your horrible life starts
and I like did he
does he say most of you or some of you
go back let's run that back
and to be honest
I think he says some of you
I don't even think he says most of you
he knows they're not going anywhere
where are they going
where the fuck are the kids
in Fresno Community College going
You are about to be handed is real.
It will open doors you cannot see from where you are sitting right now.
I know some of you are transferring.
Some of you.
That was me.
That was him.
And to be honest, the next part is harder than this part.
It is because it's a real school.
You will sit in a classroom and feel like everyone else knew something you were never told.
Yes, they did, who their father was.
They knew who their father was.
They did know something you were never told.
This is your father.
job. Of course they
know something you weren't told.
Who is this guy, by the way?
This is like a guy who works at the...
This is like the regional manager of Geico
that they bring in here.
And God bless him. What does he
do for living? Oh, Stanford
electrical engineering class of 25.
Wow!
He started at Fresno Community College.
There's always one.
And then they bring him back.
Let's finish out his little statement
there. Because by the way,
ain't nobody else going to Stanford.
That's it.
And he should tell them that.
He should go, I went to Stanford.
None of you will.
I'll tell you where you're going to end up.
You're going to end up in a rest-stop bathroom choking down cock.
Whether you're gay or not.
Elon Musk has a trillion.
A billion ain't nothing and a hundred millions a joke.
You can't get a house.
A house is $3 million.
A smooth is $45.
And an Uber to go kill yourself is $80.
to go getting a suicide pod.
So shut the fuck up.
I went to Stanford and you're not gonna.
You don't have the money in your bank account to an order an Uber to once a suicide pod.
You're going to borrow that money from a friend to go and end your miserable life.
Elon Musk has a trillion dollars.
You've got shit.
You've got shit.
It caught going to a steakhouse now for a meal.
is cost what you pay for rent.
So it's over for you.
Your generation's been fucked
and you'll continue to be fucked
and many of you will go insane.
This is what I would say.
Many of you will go insane
and the process will be quick.
It won't be long.
It won't be something that takes place over years.
You will snap.
Quickly, you'll be in traffic.
You'll get to 15,000.
job rejection and you'll snap.
And that's when you're going to want to grab a weapon.
And a lot of people on this commencing speech will tell you to not do that.
Not me.
Not me.
We've left you no choice.
We have left you no choice but to grab a weapon because we have put you back.
We're putting you back in the bush.
You're going back to nature.
You're going back to the jungles again.
You will fight for food.
you will fight for water, you will trade, and you will barter, and this is your life now.
I'm sorry.
Favors, ask somebody for a ride so you can sell your blood or semen or whatever you got left,
unless you find a way, unless you find a way to go on Polly Market.
And it's not an ad for Polly Market, but they should give me more.
more money than they've already given me,
because I would say that to the kids.
I would go, it's actually just polymarket for you,
or you will live in a car,
and you will have to choose which one of your children to sacrifice,
like Merrill Streep did in Sophie's choice.
Can we continue with this guy?
I like this guy.
I like him a lot better than Noah Bobbock.
He died, so I couldn't invite him to the Oscars.
I heard you.
Serious is right.
And I know some of you came here from somewhere you do not talk about.
Yeah, all of them.
Maybe you came from a prison cell.
That's right.
Maybe you came here from a house where nobody before you went to college.
That's right.
Maybe you came here from a version of yourself you are still trying to leave behind.
What a depressing speech.
I love this fucking guy.
This is worse than mine.
The real one's worse than my joke.
Pause this for a minute.
The real speech at the community college,
is actually much more haunting than my joke.
I love this.
Let me tell you right now,
I've reversed my position on Mr. Paul Calvo,
Cavo, Cavo, Cavo, whatever.
And I will say,
this is the most depressing speech
I have ever heard in my life,
including whatever speech Hamas got
before October 7th was lighter than this.
This is the crazy,
many of you came here from a prison cell
or a house where no one went to school
and you're running from a version of yourself
you're trying to get rid of. Let's see how
he finishes this. By the way, I am
big time impressed.
What a great
speech. Keep
going.
It is the one institution in my life
that did not ask me who I used to
be. It asked
me what I was willing to learn
and how hungry was I
wanting to learn. Right. He can't
even talk. My electromagnetism professor
did not care about my tattoos.
None of my calculus professors
cared about my record.
I'm an MS-13, so what?
Now I'm at Stanford.
Fresno City College.
Stop this for a minute.
This is what DEI was.
They would put somebody from MS-13 at Stanford.
All right, get him out of here.
I did a great job.
I do like him.
Folks, folks,
I want you to listen up right now.
Stop what you're doing.
Listen up.
Summer cooking is officially in season.
Stakes on a random Tuesday.
Burgers for the boys.
Breakfast before a long day outside in those nights when one friend stops by
and suddenly you're cooking for the whole crew.
You know how it is.
You know how it is when you're cooking for the crew.
You ever cook for the crew?
Because one friend stops by and all of a sudden, everyone's over.
And while everyone loves to talk about the table,
the grill, your pans are still doing a lot of the heavy lifting.
If your cookware sticks burns, heats unevenly, it turns clean up in a full contact
sport.
It's not making you a better cook.
It's making your life harder.
Summer meals should be simple.
Good sear.
Solid heat control.
Solid heat control.
Easy cleanup.
And no baby in your pants.
That's where Hexclad comes in.
Hexclad completely changed the game by combining the performance of stainless steel
with the convenience of nonstick, all in one pan.
What?
Most cookware forces you to choose.
Great performance or easy cleanup.
Hexclad gives you.
you both. Old non-stick pan, scratch, peel, and wear out fast, and the heat distribution is terrible.
Stainless steel works great, but cleanup can be brutal. Show off your hexplanned pans on camera.
I'll get them soon. I use them. I have them. I have. I go down to Skid Row I cook with them.
And the people go, is that hexclad? And they go, Spencer Prack going to save us? I go, not likely.
It's good. They're pans. You know, it's a 12-piece set.
they're safe for the utensils, dishwasher safe, easy to wipe clean, oven safe up to 900 Fahrenheit,
1 million customers, over 550,000, five-star reviews, the secret is out.
Hex clad's 12-piece set is the ultimate all-on-one cookware upgrade.
I just got this and I use it.
I love to cook.
People don't know that about me.
People come over and I go, let's cook.
I offered, sadly, the Metcalf family and the Carmel and the Anthony
family. I said, why don't you all come over my house?
It would you, and I'll cook. No one came.
So whether you're hosting all summer long, I just want to make everyday cooking feel easier,
this is the upgrade of your kitchen deserves.
So May 22nd through June A, shop, Hexclad, summer sale,
and unlock free gifts worth up to $229.
If you're hearing this after the sale ends, don't worry.
We've still got you.
For limited time, our listeners can get 10% off using our exclusive link.
Head to Hexclad.com.
So there's Tim to Shop.
After you purchase, please support our show and let them know we sent you.
Helix is my favorite thing.
everyone loves it.
People stay at my house.
They go, why are those beds so great?
I go, it's Helix.
You go to Helixleep.com, folks.
Got the crap.
The best mattress I've ever had.
I have the Midlight Deluxe.
They love it.
They're so confident they give you
120-night sleep trial,
limited lifetime warranty.
It's amazing.
The happy with Helix guarantee.
Rest easy with seamless returns
and exchanges.
They know the products are so good.
Nobody's exchanging them.
Nobody's returning them.
Free shipping, seamless delivery.
I love the Midnight Deluxe.
You can do whatever.
It's a ward.
winning Helix wins all these awards. Shopping for mattresses is one of the worst things you can do.
Go online. HelixSleep.com slash Tim D. Helix sleep.com slash Tim D. And I'm telling you the summer
4th of July's, the summer savings for the July sale is June 12th through July 6th, 20% off
site wide, 20% off Lux mattresses. That's what I'm talking about, the Midnight Deluxe, 30%
off elite mattresses. Go in there, folks. You'd be stupid. Not do.
Helixleep.com
slash Tim D.
Barry Weiss,
friend of the show,
big fan of Barry,
as always,
and her mission
to destroy all life on Earth,
sponsored by the Ellison family.
Barry is,
you know,
obviously Scott Pelly
left 60 minutes
and it's a real shakeup.
Now, Barry, by the way,
if you can look this up,
she's ensconced herself
in a fort.
Like on the,
the sixth floor, so one of the floors.
Barry Weiss is at CBS and she will not see the staff.
Barry Weiss will not go into the staff.
She's in a guarded area.
She's in a like a secluded area.
Like when Dick Cheney was in the,
an undisclosed location in the Piok.
So Barry Weiss, the editor-in-chief of CBS News,
has been working out of a secured lock suite
on the sixth floor of the CBS Broadcast
Center in Manhattan.
Her physical isolation from the main newsroom
follows a controversial overhaul
and staffing cuts at 60 minutes.
So Barry Weiss,
who took over CBS News and is destroying it.
By the way, she will also soon be running CNN
because they're going to buy that too.
The Allison's, I believe, are buying that,
and then Barry will run that.
Phenomenal.
but Barry has now found herself running the newsroom from a
like a secured location
she's being she's got many many security guards because
Barry has to be protected from her staff
who might say things to her like what the hell are you doing
and why are you destroying everything
so Barry is being kept in a isolation
chamber, a sensory deprivation tank,
where she is destroying CBS News, and soon CNN,
she's been there under a year.
Barry's been there under a year, and she's so far, so far, okay,
she's been there for under a year, she is no longer, she's in solitary.
They've put her in solitary.
She cannot be in general population because she's causing too many wars
with the gangs on the yard.
So Barry, in less than a year, has found herself in solitary confinement in CBS.
You know you are doing a good job in an institution when you are afraid of your staff.
You know you are.
The mark of a great boss is to be ushered into a building with security and then ushered out again like the president.
That's when you know you're killing it.
when you're doing a great job,
when you are afraid to face the people
whose lives you are ruining.
So because of this great job that she's doing
from her isolation chamber on the sixth floor,
they have decided because, and no,
for no other reason than her performance,
for no other reason,
then Barry's performance,
she's being elevated to the head of CNN.
Get that up.
Barry Weiss will be overseeing editorial at CNN,
CNN.
Now you might say, oh, I'm living in a bad dream.
No.
No, you're not.
You're living at the end.
Yahoo.
Here you go.
Go up a little bit.
Barry Weiss, within weeks,
I'm sorry, hold on.
Go up just a little bit.
There you go.
Barry, okay, the hill.
Not Yahoo.
What am I talking about?
Yahoo.
The hill.
Barry Weiss expected to extend takeover to CNN.
Once to Warner Brothers, Paramount Deal is final,
which they've just finalized.
So Barry Weiss will now be running CNN.
Now, here's the question.
What bunker will they build her at CNN from which to run it?
Or will she run CNN from the bunker that they have built from her at CBS?
Or here's another thought.
Do they build an off location, an off-site bunker like a nuclear silo
several stories underground where she will destroy both networks from that.
What is the most efficient and safest play for her?
I don't know.
I don't know.
CBS has started construction of an off-site missile silo where Barry Weiss will work.
She'll continue to work.
Controversial porn star Bonnie Blue is now pregnant and announces her baby shower will be a golden shower.
Bonnie Blue says she is inviting the public to celebrate her baby
by peeing on her and having sex with her.
Recently, she was seen drinking in a nightclub while pregnant.
I'll tell you right now, this Bonnie Blue,
and you know me, I don't like to judge,
this Bonnie Blue seems to be an unstable woman
who, I mean, this has got to be,
whatever she's doing has to be illegal.
like whatever is going, and you know me, I'm no, I'm not a theocrat,
but, you know, she's got a baby inside of her, she's drinking,
she's telling people she wants to be peed on.
I mean, here's a question, folks, and it's an actual question.
Is this a real person?
Like, is this an, I mean, I'm genuinely, like, I'm genuinely,
sometimes I see these people that are out there and I go,
is this an actual human being?
Is this like a government thing?
is this an alien, is this something,
is this an actual human being who's doing this?
And by the way, maybe she is.
I'm not saying she isn't,
but is this an actual person who is doing this?
It's an interesting question.
Because she should be in jail
if she is deliberately harming her unborn child,
it's disgusting.
And we're going to just go back to like, you know,
cotton mather Protestantism in this country,
like deep, deep hellfire brimstone
because it's the Bonnie Blues of the world
or the fact that we're calling everyone queer now,
like gay and lesbian doesn't even matter,
everybody's queer,
and everybody has to subscribe to this idea
that men and women are a fiction
and these are completely, you know,
These gender roles have been completely socially constructed
and children can choose their gender.
And the gay marriage percentage of people
that approve gay marriage is dropping.
The percentage of people that approve gay people in general
is dropping.
It almost seems like it was a bad idea
to tell a bunch of people that their seven-year-old
could choose their gender at school.
Doesn't that seem like not so much of a good idea
to these idiots that I talk to
who think everything's in.
overreaction and everything's overblown.
Maybe it is an overreaction,
but like they're debating some new law
in New York where they're going to replace
men and women or father and mother
with gestating person.
Like all of this shit is so silly and ridiculous.
And why?
Is this anyone's problem?
Did the words father and mother bother anyone?
I vote like people not having
health care bothered them. I didn't think they cared about the word
father and mother. Who is this oppressing?
This is what I mean.
about the fights that the Democratic Party needs to avoid
if they want to be taken seriously.
This idea, and I'm all for trans people living their lives,
and I'm over-gay and lesbian people, obviously living their lives.
I don't want to be told that I can't get married.
But I'll tell you this, if they do reverse it,
I'll marry a fat heiress tomorrow,
like a fat heiress and live better than anyone.
I'll marry a fat heiress, a pig in a blanket, I will marry.
I'll walk down the aisle with a pork chop in line to the throne,
a fatty boom batty of means.
So I will always, but this is what's going to.
The reason that people are reversing their earlier positions
on things like gay marriage is because the gay movement is,
push so far, the trans movement has pushed so far, that people are getting tired of it.
People are just tired of having to reconsider and reevaluate everything in their lives.
You have to give people a little bit of peace.
You have to give them a little bit of peace.
You cannot keep telling people that they need.
You have to respect people's religious beliefs that differ from yours.
you have to allow for disagreement.
You have to allow for people to not agree with you
without feeling like they need to be, you know, tied up
and yelled at until they agree with you.
You need to allow for these things.
And if you don't do that,
you're going to create this world that you supposedly don't want.
And I see it,
happening. And I see the Bonnie Blue person and I'm not making it about her, but she's like,
I'm pregnant. I want people to pee on me. And, you know, it's, I don't know what's going on here.
This, this, the porn industrial complex where it's like, people used to watch a little porn growing up.
And it was like fun and silly. Now people are addicted to it. Their dicks don't work. They're on SSRIs.
They're, you know, whatever. They're throwing their lives away. They can't go out with
women, they're, you know, and this Bonnie Blue and people like that are pushing things into
a deeply troubling place where, like, I don't even understand, I don't understand
what motivates this woman.
I don't understand what motivates this woman.
It's very disturbing to me that I just adopted a kitten and I care more about it than
this woman seems to care about her unborn child.
I was going to bring it on the show today, but it's not ready.
It's a golden British chinchilla.
It's long-haired.
It's supporting Rupert Lowe and the Restore Party in the UK.
The name of the kitten is Albert.
He's turned on Nigel Farage, who he feels like is too soft and a grifter,
and is now explicitly backing Rupert Lowe and reform.
That's what, that's my cat.
So he wanted to come on and do a whole thing.
He wanted to read a statement about restoring the sovereignty of Britain,
keep Ireland to Ireland.
He's got a little hat.
Not today.
Let's wait.
You know, but I don't like this.
Bonnie Blue is getting peed on.
And I mean, pee on people in private.
You know what I mean?
Let's finish here with this.
paradise body positive community for women
turns dark after founder accused of predatory behavior.
Let's end here on a feel-good story.
This is a bunch of fatty-boom baddies here.
It is a community that promises body positivity
and a safe space for plus-size women,
but its founder has been accused of predatory behavior.
Can't fatties just join a cult without worrying about some creep?
Can't a bunch of fat women just join a cult
without worrying some creeps
just doing it for some creepy reason?
Let's watch a little bit of this.
Back in 99,
my parents took my brother and I
for a five-week round trip across the U.S.,
including Disney World in Florida.
And all of a sudden, in the aquarium section,
there was this super-sized girl just walking around.
I was obviously way too shy to talk to her,
had my parents.
tall, so I would never.
But it was a wake-up moment.
It was like, okay.
By the way, pause it just for one second.
I'm calling you right now, society, we have 10 years left.
I'm telling you right now, we have 10 years left.
This won't, this, whatever this thing is, won't go on for another 10 year.
I'm telling you, we have about 10 years left as a society.
After this, everything we've covered this whole episode, this is, I mean, the high school,
the college graduations, the guys like, it came here from jail.
your parents didn't go to school
and you're running from a version of yourself
that you no longer want to face.
That's the positive speech at the college graduation.
This guy has a cult of fat women
because he got inspired by some whale
he saw at Disney World.
They're burning buses in Belfast.
People are beheading each other
and even more disturbing than all of that.
They're giving Barry Weiss another job.
So we have about 10 years last.
Continue.
Paradise on three.
One, two, three.
Paradise!
Like, how do you want to do it?
Take your dress off.
And I like these bigons because they're big.
Look at the people that are at the house right now.
It doesn't get any more beautiful than these girls.
This right here is a message of paradise.
You're afraid of the judgment.
You feel like I'm fat.
I'm going to die alone.
But it's never the truth.
No, you got this guy.
But I'm not ugly.
Five years ago, there's no way I would have been able to do that.
My whole intention with Paradise was always just to bring positivity.
Well, I don't even want, by the way, I don't even want to learn that this went wrong.
I just want to labor under the delusion that this worked out for all these fat women and this creep, this weirdo, this guy.
I don't want to learn he was some predator.
I want to go to bed tonight believing in this community of fatty bum badies.
and their weird feeder fetish father.
And I don't even want to learn the next,
I don't want the next shoe to drop.
Much like we have to believe that we won the Iran War
to run away like cowards that were humiliated.
We also must believe that these fat women
were brought into this man's home and treated appropriately.
I don't want to live in a country where this,
this guy gets a bunch of fat women in a house
just to be some type of predator.
I want this to be wholesome and joyous
and fulfilling for everyone involved, including him and the women.
And I don't want, I won't, I don't want to believe it.
He describes how his obsession with plus sex women
began at Disney World in Florida when he was a kid.
You know, listen, different strokes,
different folks, you know,
is that the thing?
Different strokes.
Is that it?
It is, right?
Well, folks, we've done it all.
Congrats to Elon Musk again for having a trillion dollars.
I do, I wonder about that.
I think, is it good for democracy where one guy who owns a social media app and has contracts
with the government has a trillion dollars?
I don't know.
Rockets are fun to watch, right?
I mean, are we really going to get lost in whether eventually?
He hasn't hired Barry Weiss yet.
I'll tell you that much.
I'll tell you one thing about Elon.
I'm not really a huge Elon fan,
but I'll tell you the one thing that Elon is not done with a trillion dollars
is carved out money for Barry Weiss yet.
And we don't know.
We hope everything gets better in Northern Ireland.
I don't have a real, I love, obviously,
my grandparents are from Ireland
blah-bidi-blah-b-b-de-blah
but
do I have a connection with Ireland?
No, like Bill Maher said,
if you can get this up,
if you could just find this,
Bill Maher said once when he landed in Ireland,
I don't know if he'll be able to find it,
when, I forget who he was talking to.
He said when he landed in Ireland,
he started crying
because he felt such a connection to Ireland,
which is such horseshit.
It's unbelievable.
But people just say things and lie all the time.
No, no, no.
Bill said it.
I know that Maureen Dought also said it,
but Bill Maher also said,
when I was landing in Ireland,
I just felt like I just started to cry
because I just felt I felt really connected.
And it's just like, no, you didn't.
No, you didn't.
No, you didn't.
That's crazy.
We'll find it.
It's not a big deal.
We don't have to keep looking for it, but it is true.
And I don't feel that way when I land in Ireland.
I go, all right, all right, fine.
Beautiful, gorgeous country, lovely people, good butter, good bread.
But, you know, I hate to see it burning.
I hate to see it burning.
But I also understand that this policy is not a sustainable policy.
And all these people can come and yell and scream about racism
and about fear of the other, about all of this.
and there's some of that to be sure.
But unless you give people a way to feel like they're democratically controlling their countries,
they're going to lash out violently.
There is nothing left to really do.
Truly, I mean, take a look at this again here.
I mean, this is terrible.
This is like people in Belfast going house to house looking for migrants and a victory.
We don't want this.
We don't want it.
This is not a civil society.
But what how?
How does this all working?
How is this global world that we're all created?
Now, here's the deal.
New York City works because the economy is dynamic and thriving.
She had people from all over the world.
And they're all living together and, you know,
because they're living in this dynamic economy
where people can earn a living.
Now, how is this working in stagnant economies?
By the way, countries that have existed for a very long time
that have unique and specific cultures,
blending this all together is going to be very difficult
and it's proving to be very difficult
and it doesn't make you a Nazi to point that out,
economically, culturally socially.
The word racist is lost all meaning.
No one really cares about it.
Nobody, and it shouldn't, but it has.
And one of the reasons it has is because it's just become the thing
that everybody uses to discourage any conversation
about all this stuff.
It is not a good commercial for migration
to have a guy cutting a guy's head off
in the middle of the street.
That is not...
Now, if that guy was selling a candy
that no one had had before,
and when he yelled,
he was saying, come...
And what he was really saying is,
come try this candy I've made.
That would be nice.
But he's cutting a man's face off.
in the middle of the street instead of saying,
hey, I've made some candy for everyone.
Why don't you try it?
Isn't it tasty?
You know, there's ways for this stuff to work,
but it's not working right now.
It's not working, and it's hitting a boiling point,
and we're hitting the summer,
and things get bad in the summer, things get hot.
Literally and figuratively.
So unless people feel like they can wrestle
some control of their countries back,
We all have to build an isolation bunker.
All of us have to be in the bunker, not just Barry Weiss.
Good night.
