The Tim Dillon Show - 504 - Lindsey Graham, Invading Iran & The Summer of Sh*t

Episode Date: July 18, 2026

Tim discusses the mysterious and sudden passing of Senator Lindsey Graham, Donald Trump’s speech complaining about voting fraud, an impending US invasion of Iran, JD Vance going on Joe Rogan’s podcast to discuss Epstein, and America being infected at every corner with literal sh*t. Become a Friend Of The Show https://bit.ly/BecomeAFriendOfTheShow and get access to weekly bonus audio episodes of the podcast!Live Dates🎟  https://punchup.live/TimDillonSPONSORS: EthosProtect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/tim. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. Trustpilot rating as of 6/1/2025.ARMRAGo To https://armra.com/TIM Or Enter “TIM” To Get 30% OFF Your First Subscription OrderUpWorkVisit https://upwork.com/TIM Right Now And Post Your Job For FREE NutrafolFind Out Why Nutrafol Is The Best-Selling Hair Growth Supplement Brand At https://nutrafol.com & Enter The Code “TIM” to get $10 OFF your first month’s subscription and FREE shipping! PolymarketDownload The Polymarket App & Use Code “TIM50” For $50 When You Sign Up & Deposit $20 https://app.polymarket.us/S8ac/TIM50▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬Subscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/@TimDillonShow?sub_confirmation=1Instagram:https://instagram.com/timjdillon/X:https://twitter.com/TimJDillonFB:https://www.facebook.com/TimDillonComedyTik Tok:https://www.tiktok.com/@timdListen on Spotify!https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds?si=e8000ed157e441c8Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same.#TimGivesBack

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. Lindsay Graham is no longer with us. And, you know, this is a tough moment for our country. And he, it says CNN, he asked his staffer to call 911 after reporting chest pains. But most people are saying he was blown up in a Ukrainian dream. drone facility that he was inspecting by Russia, that Russia might have either poisoned him or they might have blown him to bits. I love these drones.

They look good. I love a drone. That's probably the last thing he saw was a drone. I love these drones. They're big and hard. They fly through the air. these drones and they kill a lot of bad people. Some people got to be killed.

I don't know. It feels like people are saying that the timeline does not add up and that Lindsay Graham, who is pretty, seemed fine, but I mean Trump said that his dad died of the same thing around the same age, Lindsay Graham's father, and that genetics is genetic. but I want to imagine Russia blowing up a drone facility where Lindsay Graham is. I think it's a better way for him to have died. And I want that to be the lasting image I have of Lindsay Graham in my mind just kind of like

in a drone factory, hot, sweaty men and big drones. Just kind of in his happy place, you know, sweaty military guys and big drones. And what will you do with these drones? I love these drones. Yeah, I mean, he toured Ukrainian drone factory before his sudden death. What a weird thing to do to tour a drone factory. What an odd thing to do. He went to a drone factory to take a tour. He loves death.

I love these drones. He loves death that guy. He liked the machinery of death. And Graham was reportedly shown vampire, bomber drones, also known as. as Baba Yaga, as well as the Shrike FPV drone and the P1 Sun Shahed Interceptors. He was happy as a pig and shit. They were a bunch of sweaty guys were showing him the drones in the factory. It was a hot summer day in the Ukraine, and he was walking through the drone factory. And listen, the guy had a life. The guy had a life.

And it was an American life. It was a very American life to kind of be this kind of deeply closeted southern warmonger. It's not at all out of place here. It's a very American life. No one should doubt. that. I've got this new theme where I'm not even talking about right or wrong. I'm just going, is it American? It's the month of July. So during July, I've really tried to think to myself, like, is this American? Is this on brand? And it is. To be like a southern, deeply closeted

Southern guy, sipping sweet tea, close relationship with his sister, and loves war, and loves war, because that's what man do. They go to war. And he loved war and he loved money and he loved power and he loved having that ability to go into Washington, D.C. and order a bunch of people into combat. And, you know, maybe Russia poisoned them. Maybe that drone factory blew up. Maybe it was a sudden illness.

But it feels like, or maybe he got so excited during the drone tour. He got so excited that he went back to Washington, D.C., and he auto-erotically asphyxiated or something, you know, like maybe he just really got so excited by this whole thing. It was so sexual. It was so hot that he just went back to his house and just started, you know? Because the drones are kind of phallic, you know, and just imagine, I think there was a part of him that imagines being pierced by a drone.

Like, listen, getting fucked by a dick is nice, but imagine a drone. Imagine the mechanical nature of being fucked by a drone. You know, like that. And I think he might have, it might have kind of, it might have awakened something in him, that idea of that kind of, that kind of man and machine, this idea that he could maybe have sexual relations with a drone.

that it could potentially, you know, enter him. And listen, maybe in more holes than one. If, you know, number one, orally pleasuring a drone for sure, worshipping it, licking it, licking it, tasting it, taking it in your mouth as far as it can go, cutting off your oxygen with it, breathing through your nose because you have the droning. But then also anally spreading your legs for it

and letting it enter you and letting it dominate you and feeling submissive towards it because it is machinery that is so advanced It's just a highly advanced machinery imagining it turning you

Yeah, I mean, take a look at that There's no way that Lindsay Graham wasn't thinking a little bit at the end about what sexual relations would feel like with a drone on some level. There's no way And by the way,

I don't think he's not going to be the last one to think it. He's probably not the first and he certainly won't be the last, but certainly this idea that, you know, maybe he was very excited because this idea of just kind of like, you know, being submissive to a drone or respecting the power of the drone, you know, could be something. could be something. The idea of it I think certainly got

Lindsey Graham excited. There's no way it didn't. And by the way, why not? Why not? I mean, I think that we have to stop kink shaming people like Lindsey Graham, but I do think that

there's no way he wasn't a little bit turned on during that drone inspection. Which again, such a weird thing. Here are the drones. Ooh. Ooh, I like these drones. You're such a silly billy with your drones.

Yeah, I mean, so a bunch of people are going, hey, we don't want to hand Russia a propaganda win if it comes out that they poison Lindsey Graham or that they killed him or that he died in the explosion of the Ukrainian drone factory, which, by the way, I guess, I'm sure, you know, obviously I'm not an idiot. I know that on some level it would be a propaganda win. But also, like, there would be a lot of people in our country who didn't care. Like most of them.

You know, like almost all of them wouldn't care. If any of these people, by the way, if Russia got Ted Cruz or Lins. Graham or Mitch McConnell. Like, I don't know, most people in our country wouldn't care that much, including me. I hope that doesn't sound unpatriotic. But we've been arming the Ukraine to blow this shit out of Russia for years. And I'm not blaming the Ukraine. Russia invaded them.

But this is a war. and if Russia decided we're going to kill an old senator that most of you don't like anyway and the ones that do, like, it's like a tiny group of people that are directly making money from the decisions this guy makes. Most people don't even know who he is.

So we'd have to do so. The problem is if it came out to Russia did this, we'd then have to do something. We'd have to like take offensive action against Russia because they maybe killed Lindsay Graham. I wouldn't. I would, and I would not demand that of the government. If they, literally, if Russia,

if it came out definitively that Russia killed Lindsay Graham, I would just go, well, you know, live by the sword. You know, the guys inspecting drone factories in the Ukraine, Moscow and all of these other cities in Russia are getting hit by Ukrainian drones all the time. Why would they not kill that guy? He's like the loudest voice. One of the loudest voices to keep the party going over there.

keep the party going. Why would Putin not go, yeah, if we can, maybe let's kill this guy? He's in the Ukraine inspecting a drone factory? Why is he even doing that? He's doing it because he likes it. He's doing it because he likes it. You don't go, this is a beautiful. time in our country

the summer. It's like one of the times people enjoy. You don't voluntarily go to the... Unless Trump served him up on a silver platter to Putin, which is also very possible. Trump might have texted Putin just kill Lindsay. He's there right now.

Putin might have said, I'm fed up with your shit. I'm going to invade Poland or something. And Trump goes, just kill Lindsay. He's in a drone factory. I'll tell you exactly where he is. Mafia shit. By the way, that's maybe what happened. That's maybe exactly what happened.

Trump might have said, hey, listen, we know where he is. Just promise me you'll make it quick. This is straight up mob shit. And Trump's like, we're going to say he died of a brief illness. Make it quick. I forget the movie I'm quoting, but then somebody goes, we'll do it and we'll do it our way. It's a mafia movie or it's a soprano.

I forget what I'm quoting. But this is maybe what happened. I want you to imagine this. Putin says to Trump, I've had enough. I'm going to use like nuke's or something in Ukraine. Like I've had enough. I got to do something here. And Trump goes, listen, just kill Lindsey Graham.

He's in the drone factory. He'll be there in two days. Just kill him. Kill him. We won't say you did it. you can kind of say you did it, wink and a nod. Your people will know you did it because that's kind of the way Russia operates. The people in Russia don't need a headline to know what happened.

Like when the progozian guy went down, when his plane went down, people immediately knew. They're like, yeah, that's what happens. So like Trump might go, I don't, we don't want this public. Putin's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. And Trump's like, just get rid of Lindsey Graham. will that satiate you for a little bit? And Putin's like, yeah, Putin might have asked Trump.

Putin might have said, we got to, we're going to kill Lindsey Graham. And Trump's like, yeah, all right. Trump doesn't care. Trump goes, yeah, just kill Angie Graham. We just kill Lindsey Graham. That'll buy us a few months. Kill Lindsey Graham. Your people kind of know you did it.

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That's ethos.com slash Jim. Ethos.com slash Jim. Application times may vary rates may vary. We're all over the map here. Trump comes out yesterday and goes the voting's all fucked up, but yet the Republicans won. 2016 and 2024, and now they have the House and the Senate, they have all of those, all of those races, they won.

And they won the presidency. And he's claiming that the voting is the biggest issue. They genuinely, literally right now, have all of the, they have the Congress, the House, I mean, I'm sure the House, the Congress, Senate, everything. kind of most of the Supreme Court Thomas Massey made that point he's like you know we kind of have

all of the things we could want and they're going out and going the election was stolen now by the way I'm not saying there's no voting problems there's probably voting problems there's weird laws in California that let people like show up to a polling station with a bunch of ballots go hey my whole family voted

and here's what they think that's weird but Trump's out there talking about voting he's the president. It's the craziest thing I've ever heard. He's like the voting irregularities and the elections are stolen. But you're the president.

You're the president and you ran on a platform of no new wars and you're about to put troops on the ground in Iran. 1,000 percent, you are the president. like you're not you're not popping shit from outside of the government this is the thing when like jd vance goes on rogan and goes well you know they have this whole discussion about the epstein docs and jd is like i'll go to my death believing it was a larger conspiracy you know it's it's kind of like these guys like well what are you going to do

what are you going to do it's like no you're the you're the vice president what are you talking about jaddy vans is talking about this like he's a guy at a bar in the town I grew up in on Long Island where he'd be like, I'll always believe it was a conspiracy. You sure. That guy owns a pool company. He's going to be like, yeah, what are you going to do?

I'll always believe someone on there. This guy's the vice president of the United States of America going on the biggest podcast in the world going, Yep, I read all the files, Trump's innocent also. I'll always believe there was a greater conspiracy there. I'll always think something was going on. But what am I going to do? I'm the vice president.

That's Shady Vance's character arc right now. His whole entire thing is just telling people what the vice president can't do. Like, what about the war in Iran? He goes, you know, there's not much I can do. I just kind of hang out and, you know, watch as I'm part of the administration that betrays its voters and does the opposite. of everything it said it was going to do, I'd just kind of hang out and, you know, this Epstein thing, who knows, you know, what are you going to do?

It's a lot of what are you going to do energy from the vice president. I'm not saying the vice president's like an all-powerful figure, but it's just hilarious that like that's his argument. And what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Yeah, these Epstein do, you know, isn't that nuts, Joe? You heard about that? What?

You're the vice president of the. United States. This is the, they keep trying to play this game where they're like this folksy, kind of like relatable, like, yeah, these fucking elites, these fucking elites with these they're fucking the kids, they're stealing your money. What? Who? You are doing it.

You're the ones you are doing it. And they're relying on the fact that some of their most. ardent supporters, the ones who aren't directly being paid off, are the stupidest people in the world. So that still works on them. They're like, yeah, fucking Hillary. Hillary Clinton. Fucking Hillary Clinton. The guy, they're in the White House. They have the Congress. They have the Senate. They have the Supreme Court. It is them. It is now them. I don't want to hear about the deep state anymore. You're playing me for a fool. You're playing everyone for a fool. You brought in Cash Patel. You brought in that other guy, Dan Bonino, you threw him out or he

laughed, whatever. You brought in Pam Bondi and then threw her out. I'm sick of hearing about this deep state. All of these people, you have to be one of the stupidest people in the world to fall for this shit at this point. This is, you are peddling the dumbest, most like, by the way, I hate to use this word, but cringe. It's literally cringe. You watch this and you go, I feel so disgusted by the fact that they think people are still going to believe this shit. Well, it's the deep state. It's the deep state. You guys covered all this shit up.

Polymarket has it like that work like the odds to put boots on the ground before 2027 is almost 30%. It's like a 26% chance. I think it's much higher than that. I think they're wrong on this because there's nothing to do. There's nowhere to go. There's two options. here, nuke, boots on the ground. And you've got a guy in there who might do a combination,

might do one or the other, he might do both. Who knows what the fuck he does? And they know, Israel knows that they can't allow Iran to be anything functional. And a lot of the warhawks in America and the people, they know that Iran cannot be functional at all. It can be chaos. It's not going to look like Vermont. It's not going to look like Newport Beach.

They know that. So it can be chaos. It can be nuts. It can be nuts like warring factions and crazy. That's fine. It could look like the bar from Star Wars. But what it can't be is any type of functional country. So you got to, that's why we're bombing the shit out of them right now.

Civilian losses are going up. We're inflicting pain. we're trying to fucking show them that we can hurt them and will hurt them but it won't be enough again unless we put boots on the ground and by the way I should I think they're wrong 26% by the way

I think it's much higher because there's nowhere else to go there's genuinely nowhere else to go what exactly are we going to do here and I'm obviously don't want it to happen Do you think Jady Vance will go back on Rogan When there are boots on the ground And I ran and go Yeah I don't you know

It's what it can do It's why I mean it's you've seen this Have you seen this show These boots on the ground and Iran That's wild huh That's crazy He has like this detached intellectual thing he does Jady Vance like he's not

A part like he's like a commentator He's like You know Like he's like, well, yeah, you know, this is, it's interesting, this Epstein stuff, huh? That's interesting. So I wonder when we have boots on the ground in Iran. Yeah, here we go. Let's, let's, this is a J.D. Vance, friend of the show here, talking about Jeffrey Epstein on the Joe Rogan podcast.

What I have seen, and I've looked at most of the files, is that they're just. By the way, can we stop for a minute? How does he have time to, like, write a book, read all of the Epstein file? Like, how does he have the time to do this, by the way? Is there, is there, he's wrote a book. He's, he's reading all of the Epstein files. What, when's he doing that? He's also a dad, a husband, the vice president.

What's he doing that? What is he doing them to the kids at night? Is he reading the Epstein files to the children? Is that the reading material for the household? How exactly does this work that you're reading the Epstein files every day? Is that odd? Anyway, let's, let's listen. here. What I have seen, and I've looked at most of the files, is that there just wasn't

dispositive evidence. And if that dispositive evidence ever existed, it was probably destroyed after 2006, 2007. Now, again, in our defense, yes, was there some biching and moaning and was there some back and forth? Yes. But we eventually collected six million documents as part of... It wasn't six million. It wasn't six million. The president, people say the president That was a Holocaust joke. Those of you paying attention, that was a joke about the Holocaust.

I'm not saying the Holocaust wasn't six million, but what an odd number of documents. J.D. Vance is screaming six million. What a strange. All right, continue. The idea that Donald Trump could not have killed that legislation, especially with the United States Senate, is a joke. He absolutely could have killed it. What did he do? He actually said, no, we're going to release these files. he thought, you know, he was annoyed by the story. He was annoyed by the Democrats accusing him of doing things bad.

By the way, like, do I think there is any, I've never seen. Stop it for a minute. He was annoyed that the Democrats were, can you play that again? That like, absolutely could have killed it. What did he do? He actually said, no, we're going to release these files. He thought, you know, he was annoyed by the story. He was annoyed by the Democrats accusing him of doing things bad.

He was annoyed. that Democrats were accusing him of doing things bad. It was annoying to him. Yeah, I mean, this is, again, the demographic of people that this appeals to or that this works on, I mean, I've met some of them so I know who they are, and I'm not going to claim that I don't know them. I know some of them intimately.

and it's not even J.D. Vance's fault. It is his fault, but it's not his fault that he's like a specifically terrible character. They're all in the mafia. It's just a mafia. It's just a mafia family. That's all it is. You just got to go out and you go, well, you know, it's actually he didn't do anything wrong. I looked at everything myself.

He didn't do anything wrong. He was with me the whole night, Your Honor. He couldn't have been. He couldn't have killed the... So it's just like this guy's in an unenviable position of coming out. all over the internet now going, this guy's done a press tour for a book. We're days away from troops on the ground in Iran.

The Middle East is a total nightmare. The economy is a nightmare. There's trades in Hormuz. There's going to be like a massive oil crisis soon. And they've given so much money to big tech and AI. the flock cameras, all of this stuff. All of this, they're building a surveillance state with this money. They're building a digital surveillance state with the money.

And he's got to do this kind of like, oh, shucks. Can you, yeah, isn't it wacky? Joe, isn't it wacky? Isn't it wacky being VP? It's like, it's so wacky. I tell myself all the time. I have to pinch myself. It's crazy.

So, now, by the way, just to remind everyone what this was here, let's go talk to it. Let's play this clip today about what Epstein was doing. God only knows. And I want to play this clip for people because there is this idea for whatever reason that Jeffrey Epstein was like a Gadsby-like figure who surrounded himself with like young, mostly legal age. women and though morally questionable was not a guy that was into was not some wasn't to pedophile or nothing he was doing was illegal or that he wasn't blackmailing anyone or that he wasn't like working with no jd says that thing on rogan where he's like yes he had relationships with this intelligence agency and that one and he was all over the map and i'll go to

my death believing there was a greater conspiracy but basically what Jady is saying is like we don't plan to do anything about it. We don't plan to flesh out the dimension of whatever quote conspiracy there was. We don't want to find these things out, although we have to concede that there's some real questions to be asked because we know you're all not that retarded. We know that some of you have some level of your brains that are still functioning. Some level of your brains are still functioning. I know that they're soaking in Frappuccino's and energy drinks.

and you know you're having strokes on a way to work and everything. The air quality is bad. There's fecal matter in the ocean. You know, we've poisoned you nine ways till Sunday. Your kids are chewing out of all. We get it. We know how much we've broken your attention spans and brains. Algorithms corrupt your ability to focus on anything for more than 20 seconds.

But still, even in that insane healthscape that we've created, some of you are able to focus and we can't tell you that there's nothing to see here, which by the way, we tried to, months ago when this whole thing happened, we tried to go out and go, man, nothing to see. Man, nothing to see here. We were wrong. Sorry. But then we've actually had to, because when the evidence came pouring out,

we had to come out and go, no, no, no, yeah, this is weird. This is weird. here is a this is 60 Minutes Australia right again it's not a conspiracy program not a crazy program not something that's completely insane that says Q&on that Joe Biden's a clone and whatever Ellen DeGeneres has Kuru that cannibal disease which would be hilarious if she had it I've seen no evidence since she has it but if Ellen DeGeneres died of Kuru that cannibal disease from eating children, it would be very funny. Obviously, not for the children she ate, but for me personally, if I read that and it was

from a respectable place, Ellen DeGeneres of Kuru, the disease you get from bushmeat, but I'm saying that this is not one of those sites. This is 60 Minutes Australia talking about Jeffrey Epstein, who was engaged in like this weird Dr. Strange Love type of like... science experiments and shit in that New Mexico ranch. And I always wondered, I'm like, why don't you hear more about that New Mexico ranch? It's all about that island. And now that island's creepy as fuck.

And there was, you know, we know that the island is also probably the source of a lot of, like, immorality, illegality, evil, monstrous behavior. God only knows. but the ranch in New Mexico is super creepy. They're actually trying to investigate it and I believe the Trump administration is trying to like shut it down.

The investigation, we could look into that in a second. But again, this ranch in New Mexico it's in the middle of nowhere. Zorro Ranch. So all of this guy's properties, by the, you would say to yourself, if this guy's just hanging out with 19-year-olds and hotties and he's, you know,

He's like a pimp. Why is he, why does he have these layers in the middle of nowhere? It just doesn't make any sense. Like, yeah, you had a house in Manhattan. He had a town of some Manhattan. He had a house in Palm Beach. He was in areas where people were. But he also, in addition to that, has these very isolated, very strange in the middle

of nowhere layers, like in the middle of New Mexico or an island. And you start saying yourself, that's interesting. and I wonder what was going on there. And this guy is into some weird stuff. Let's take a listen to this. Girls waking up in sort of like a dark room with like a female doctor standing over them, feeling like maybe there is some kind of procedure

that had happened that they weren't aware of. And I believe this is in the file. I'll sure there's something in there about a baby actually being born and then just disappearing like Gieland taking it. I personally never witnessed anything like that, but I do remember overhearing conversations about trying to create the perfect baby, the perfect baby, the perfect gene pool. And I know that there was sort of a hunt, if you will, for the perfect gene pool. Zorro was a wacky hideaway for Epstein and his cronies and a place to enact their most freakish fantasies,

including at one point a plan for a controversial designer baby and human cloning project, in which emails from the files show the maniacal Epstein was prepared to invest in as long as he remained anonymous. We were hearing some of the most horrible and heinous things that anyone could imagine. The allegations span everything from the harvesting of sex organs to allegations of women having forced abortions or forced pregnancies or coerced pregnancies. I think when we think about the stories and the span of stories, it sounds fictional. It sounds like a horror film. Well, there you go. Forced pregnancy, friend of the show.

Jeffrey Epstein At his Zorro ranch in New Mexico He was this guy Had interest in like transhumanism He was eugenicist He wanted to you know Create like the perfect race He wanted to cede the planet with his DNA

In some weird way He hung out with Bill Gates And all these creepy scientists He would bring on Bring all these nerd scientists And get them young pussy And then tried to I guess apply them for information or get get them on board with whatever project he was looking into.

But the fact that this guy was able to do all of this for decades without any real pushback, any consequences, one slap on the wrist sweetheart deal. And the idea that like This This is not really reported I mean we have to go to 60 minutes Australia by the way To file where's the New York Times on this

It's a little It suggests That to me It suggests that like Epstein was another thing Like we tend to think of like spies as like 007 James Bond

You know We tend to think of Mission Impossible We tend to think of like The Born supremacy That's what we think of as like spies Like covert operatives Running around the world

Trying to best each other at the game of espionage. And he's not doing that. It's not him. He's not Jason Bourne. Okay. But there's all kinds of spies. Not all spies are Jason Bourne.

Not all spies are running around with, you know, poison ink and a pen and killing you that way. So then he go, well, then there's, there's analysts that sit in the CIA and type up reports based on what the Jason born people say. He's not doing that. He wasn't like sitting in the CIA decoding all this raw intelligence and typing up and writing reports and handing them to somebody and going, oh, here's the reports that we got from the station chief in Istanbul about the Muslim Brotherhood. And here's what they said.

And somebody, we have a cafe bugged. And one of our guys runs the cafe and he heard them talking about blah, blah, blah. He's not doing that. That's not his job. Okay. So he's not Jason Bourne. he's not he's not like

he's not like an analyst not an intelligence analyst sitting there decoding intelligence and writing reports he's not doing that he's not a guy who seems to be really

publicly advocating for a specific company so he's not like running around going like, it's all about Palantir, you got to get on board with Honeywell or general dynamics or whatever. He's this other thing. This like weird, strange other thing. And his life makes no sense from the beginning of it till the end of it.

The beginning of his life where he's like a math teacher at a prep school. And then he's working at an investment bank. And then he owns the largest piece of real estate Manhattan. And then he's controlling Les Wexter's entire fortune. And then he's experimenting potentially on women in a ranch in New Mexico because he's into this weird, like, you know, eugenics. And then supposedly he kills himself in the most secure prison in the country. None of it makes any sense at all.

And then J.D. Vance is on Rogan going, yeah, I'll always, I'll always believe there's something going on. So here, this is the New York Times. I will have to apologize to the New York Times because they wrote about this, but they're not writing, I don't see a lot of the eugenic stuff in the New York Times. You can correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't see that. Because that's even like too disturbing for them. But New Mexico accuses the Department of Justice of obstructing Epstein Ranch inquiry.

New Mexico's attorney general unveiled a letter he sent last week to the acting U.S. Attorney General Todd Blanche accusing the Justice Department of withholding critical evidence. They don't want this solved, by the way. They don't want it solved. They're not going to solve this. They will not solve this. Raul Torres, New Mexico's top law enforcement officer,

first requested original documents related to the convicted sex offenders Euro ranch property in February. He said he reiterated the request five times in the following months through a range of channels, but Justice Department officials so far had not responded. The records contain names of survivors, witnesses, co-conspirators, and other individuals who may aid the long-delayed state investigation into the deceased financiers' crimes in New Mexico.

They're not going to do, they're not opening this. can of worms. They're not going to do it. They're not going to do it because it leads to something that's going to be more questions and answers. It's like they're going to go like, what was this guy? And then how many of those guys are there? That's the other quote. Like how many Epstein's are there? Because now, like every article written about him was like he was a special guy. He's a special guy. Charismatic, intelligent. he had powerful friends he was a special guy but how many of those guys are out there where their lives make no sense in the world that we understand Jeffrey Epstein's life makes no say

it would be like describing an alien to somebody who like didn't need oxygen and could survive you know without any type of sunlight or whatever you're talking about a guy who there's not one thing about his life that makes any sense at all. And you're left with this idea that there's gaping parts of the world that you just don't know anything about. I don't even know anything about how this even works. Even as a conspiracy theorist, you go, I don't know anything about it. Because it's strange even in that sense.

Because you go, what is this? So it's possible he's just a super motivated pedophobic. That's possible. Like he's like a super motivated pedophile. He's just like one of these guys who's like really trying to you know make them up. But you know, that also asks questions

where you go, how does he get the things he has and how does he have the connections he has? And nobody wants to open that up. And instead of that, we'll just invade Iran. will just put boots on the ground with Iran because who gives a fuck? Who cares about this stuff?

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This is from the Times while preferring diplomacy. Trump was briefed this week on options, including the use of ground troops and bombing pickax Mountain. He's going to do it. He's going to do it. He'll, he's going to nuke him. He's going to probably nuke him. I mean, they know they've got the one president in there

that might use a nuclear wet. No one else would. They know they've got the guy that may just say, fuck it. He might just get up one day and say, fuck it. Trump hosted his situation room meeting Tuesday evening to discuss a potential seizure of Karg Island and other territory along the strait of Hormuz using U.S. troops as well as a potential bombing of a tunnel complex,

complex at Pickax Mountain, a nuclear link site. The U.S. has yet to target expanding airstrikes against more targets in Iran, including energy sites, also remains a possibility. The discussion was one of multiple formal and informal conversations Trump has had in recent days with senior officials, including J.D. Vance, Pete Heggsath, Markerubio, Dan Kane, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs, etc. They know, they know. They've got a guy in there who, depending on his mood could very well use a nuclear weapon. And there are people probably behind the scenes pushing for that going, listen,

you're either going to go down in history as losing this war or you're going to use a nuke. And I know it's going to be tough and it's going to suck. And the rest of the world is going to get mad at you. I think China and Russia have probably said that they won't stamp. Stand by and let us use a nuke. But they probably will. Because then if we use a nuke on Iran, China forever and ever, by the way, China then becomes the moral leader of the world, even though they might be already. By the way, China may already be the moral leader of the world right now.

I want everyone to think about that. Roll that around in your fucking head. And if we use a nuclear weapon, China will emerge as the clear human. humanitarian alternative. The West will lose all credibility almost overnight. And China will emerge as the superpower that is humanitarian because they're not going around. Even though they've got that a camp of Uyghur Muslims that they put them in a concentration camp, which I don't care about.

And no one does, by the way. No one cares about that concentration. They keep trying to get that out. The Republicans keep going, what about the Uyghur Muslim? No one cares about that. Enough. No one gives a shit. Maybe they should, but they don't.

China will emerge from this because they're not invading countries. Everybody lives over there in a digital surveillance state, which is whatever. People just don't care. Now, you know, they should, but they don't. And they're not going to care in America either. They don't care. They're not going to care. They're not going to care.

This is not a country of people who are like demanding. freedom and everything. They don't care. They really don't care. So let's just put the kibosh on that immediately. That there's going to be like a few people can destroy some flock cameras. And by the way, more power to you, good for you. I don't want any of this shit.

But the idea that like the vast majority of people in this country care about it surveillance, they don't care. So you try to hang that on China. Like they have a digital credit score. No one here can afford any health care. No one here can afford anything. So like you're asking all these people in America to talk about how horrible China is while their lives suck.

Now, China might be much worse than America. Like, I would never want to live there. But what a hard sell that is. You're trying to sell people on the idea that, like, the ultimate evil is China. No one, no one, by the way, you're failing at that. No one believes that. It's like the, and I hate using these dumb examples, but it's true, it's the chick in the office who keeps talking about someone and to a point where you all go,

you start siding with the person they're trashing. Because you go, how bad could they be? You're the one who keeps coming in here every day telling us how bad they are. Maybe you're bad. And that's what's happening. So if we nuke Iran or if we even invade, if we put boots on the ground in Iran, here's how this plays out China emerges the single

superpower in the world with the respect and the United States of America collapses by the way and quickly our dollar will not be the reserve currency for much longer this country will collapse pretty quickly and this war does it boots on the ground does it

it will do it because China emerges everyone goes let's make deals with China is done. The West is done. London's done. America's done. They go, we're looking at China. We're looking at Shanghai. We're looking at Beijing. We're looking at fucking Dubai or whatever. We're looking at the UAE. America couldn't even defend the Gulf states, the bases they had in the Gulf States. America can't even beat Iran. So we've all been told like, whoa, we're the fucking toughest guy on the block. That's not true. We just kind of been exposed. Doesn't mean we don't have nukes and we don't have missiles. We don't have, you know, a great military in the fact that the people that join it, you know, should obviously be respected and you should hope they win. But let's look at like the facts. The facts on the ground right now are that war no longer works.

China realized this years ago, China goes, war doesn't work. If China thought war work, they would have invaded Iran years ago. I'm sorry, not Iran. Taiwan. If China thought war worked, China would have invaded Taiwan. China's smarter enough to go, war doesn't work.

Look at Russia and the Ukraine. War worked in the time when you could go in carpet, bomb city. Here's who war works for. I'm telling you right now, Israel. And here's why it works for them. They're willing to just go in and kill everybody. You have to be willing to go in and kill

everybody for war to work. Otherwise, it doesn't work. Surgical strikes. Winning the information war? No, none of that works. None of it works. You have to be willing to go in and basically kill everybody. And if you're unwilling to do that, it's just a matter of time before you have to, it's either going to be a stalemate, a frozen conflict, you're going to, you're going to just, your citizens are going to decide it's not worth it. War doesn't work.

It doesn't work. And China gets it, China goes, we're just going to spread money around. We do the Belt and Road initiative. We're going to build schools. And yes, we're going to put everyone in our surveillance grid and our social credit score. And we're taking everybody's freedom.

And I'm not for any of that. And China's going to go, we're not a cut. We will kidnap you if you have too much money. And we're not going to tolerate. And we are a centralized control system where people are going to feel like they are free, but make no mistake, they are not. But the way we export that control system to the rest of the world is not at the barrel of a gun. They watched our misadventures in the Middle East.

They watched us lose credibility. They watched how embarrassing it was. And China goes, no, we're just going to spread a lot of money around. We're going to engage in a lot of corporate espionage. We're going to steal a lot of good ideas. We're going to know what everybody else is doing. And our technological supremacy is going to enslave the world before the United States. The United States is going to go bankrupt themselves with wars.

And Russia can bankrupt itself with wars. Because they're still living in the last century when you could do this, when you could invade Ukraine. and it would work, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. The fact that they just had to kill Lindsey Graham to feel good about themselves, Russia should have had to kill Lindsey Graham to just feel good about themselves.

They should have been able to win this thing already. America should have been able to win this. Here's Lindsey Graham, by the way, suggesting Israel should nuke Gaza. This is Lindsey Graham. This is a great eulogy for him, friend of the show, Lindsay Graham. So when we were a fact,

with destruction as a nation after Pearl Harbor, fighting the Germans and the Japanese, we decided to end the war by bombing Hiroshima and Nagasaki with nuclear weapons. That was the right decision. Give Israel the bombs they need to end the war they can't afford to lose and work with them to minimize casualties. Can I say this? Why is it okay for America to not to drop two nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki to end their existential threat war? Why was it okay for us to do that? I thought it was okay. To Israel do whatever you have to do?

He must have had so much fun in Israel. He was probably checked into a hotel in Israel and then immediately balls were just bouncing off his chan for 48 hours. He must have had so much fun to be this explicit, to be like just nuke him. Even people are probably like Lindsay, let's not go that hard.

Even like his handlers are probably like Lizzie, let's rein it in. Hey, how about you just nuke him? Give them the bombs that are needed to do the job. Why is it okay that we drop two bombs on Hiroshima, Nagasaki? And you can't use nuclear weapons on God, so just nuke them. Duke nuke them, babe. Like, it's so, I envy the amount of fun he must have had there.

Maybe if, listen, if they would provide me with whatever they provided him with, Maybe I'd be here being like, just nuke them. God damn it. It's the Christian thing to do is to nuke somebody. I just can't, I can't imagine. But this is all that, and this is actually a good clip. This is all that is left. All that is left, by the way, in these conflicts, I hate to say it. And I don't want to be prophetic here because none of these prophecies end up being good.

is the only thing that's left to do is to start nuking people. There's nothing left to do. These countries like Russia and the United States, they're taking humiliation after humiliation. We're heaping humiliations on Russia. Hopefully that worked out. And we're actually,

we're also engaged in some kind of weird humiliation ritual ourselves because like we are now being found out that we do not have the military supremacy that we thought we did in the sense that Sinister banner shows Trump family in coffins as Iran demands blood for blood. Yeah, I mean, you know, this is what this, Iran's day, we killed their leader.

We killed their spiritual leader. And I imagine they're not thrilled about that. I, you know, this is like, it's so hard to like talk to people because people, everyone's, a goldfish to have no memory. So goldfish, like every time they go around that little bowl, it's like, oh, wow. A castle, some trees, ooh food. Like, goldfish don't know what's going on. So we also have that because, like, you would see this.

You go, okay, look at what Iran is doing. And he goes, yeah, but we, like, killed their spiritual leader. On, like, day one of the war, we just whacked the guy. What do you think happens? How do you think they respond to that? But war doesn't work. This is what we've learned. We've learned this over the last 12 to 24 months.

We saw it with Russia and Ukraine. We saw it. War does not work unless you are willing to deliver a real, like, devastating blow to a large number of civilians. otherwise war doesn't War doesn't really work in this era number one it's on TikTok it's on social media it's why they're banning all these apps for kids

they're not banning them because they care about your kids' mental health I've said it before they're banning it because young people are kind of they're the ones getting really fucked over by what's going on now and they want to know why their countries are being delivered to organizations like the EU and I'm not saying everything's bad about the EU

but they're going like, why do I have to accept higher levels of migration, less economic opportunity, why do I have to accept certain cultural norms that I may or may not agree with? Why does it feel like there's a monoculture that's being thrust on me and my generation of people? And those people start questioning those things. So that's why they're getting rid of social media because they don't want people,

they don't want people being exposed to those debates. They don't want people seeing that. They basically need compliance. And the way that you get compliance from people is to take away their ability to get information. So, you know, and by the way, every group of people is fighting for that generation of people. So if you're an Islamist, you want those kids

and you want them to convert to Islam. If you are a Christian nationalist, you want them to be a part of the project of fusing Christianity and politics. If you are a radical Zionist, you want to convert those kids to the idea that Israel's owed, you know, large swaths of the surrounding countries. And that that's a biblical prophecy. if you are a secular, you know, LGBTQIA2 plus, you know, you're trying to convert that generation to your way of thinking.

And it's a battleground. And now the internet is just hate. It's just groups of people that hate each other. There's almost no, I've got to be honest with you, there's almost no reason, this show, of course, is, but there's almost no reason to go on the internet anymore really, I mean, it's all AI slop and just hate. It's just groups of people who hate other groups of people

and blame them for why society looks the way it does. It's a bunch of cultures competing to be who can be a victim. It is really a depressing, dispiriting place. But make no mistake, they're not taking it away from young people to safeguard their mental health. You can't say this. we should take away TikTok because it fucks with young people's mental health, but also we should draft them to fight Iran.

Because by the way, I imagine, and again, not a doctor, but I imagine that would do something to their mental health as well. Putting them on an aircraft carrier and putting them in the Persian Gulf, that might do something to their mental health as well. I'm aware TikTok drives up anxiety. But you can't make the argument that you are trying to safeguard young people's mental health, if you are willing to ship them to Iran,

that just doesn't work. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. You know where these kids can finally get rid of their anxiety on a flight to Iran? It doesn't make any sense to anybody. And this is an old way of running the world. China's realized this year's ago, China's like, it's not going to be wars.

it's going to be a digital surveillance grid that everyone lives under and everyone will be happy enough. This is what China has realized. China is like, listen, we're going to put everybody, we're going to wrap the tentacles of the digital control grid slowly around people by giving the money, making investments in their infrastructure and their economy.

We're going to do that. and let America run around the globe with a gun, losing wars, bankrupting itself, let Russia do the same thing, let Israel do it. China is sitting back, and again, no fan of China, don't want China to win, but how's that going? China is going to emerge from this as the leader of the world and may already have. for two main reasons. Number one, China has realized that the ways of dominating the globe that existed for thousands of years are no longer effective. They're no longer effective.

You're not going to be able to whack the leader of a country and see everybody fall in line. You're not going to be able to show up with a bunch of aircraft carriers and fighter jets and take over a country of 90 million people and get them to think the way you think, China knows that's not effective. They know that. And the second reason China's emerging as the leader of the world is because the things that they are

putting their energy into are the new ways to dominate the world, which is a massive digital grid that everybody will exist. exist on. That's 1,000% where it's all going. I don't like where it's going. I've been very honest about not liking where it's going. But they know that's where it's going. And we know that's where it's going. That's why we're trying to like do it here and they're doing it there and whatever. But they're just watching us take L's. We're just stacking L's. And the only way to

get out of this is to Trump start firing nukes. I hope he doesn't do it. I hope he doesn't do it. but he's a lunatic. So, and when Trump nukes Iran, Jady Vance will go right on rogue and I go, I mean, Joe, isn't it crazy? Isn't it crazy that Trump, you know, the president was very clear in the beginning of this, that he didn't want Iran to have a nuclear weapon.

And, you know, we got to a point when we had to deliver quite a devastating blow to Iran. and it's unfortunate, you know, lots of people died. You know, I'm a Christian, Joe. I hate that. I hate seeing anyone die, you know, of course. And I was in the situation room when we fired the nuclear weapons at them. But, you know, I said a little prayer.

I'm a Christian, Joe. Of course, I wouldn't want anyone hurt. Of course, we did kill tens of thousands of people instantaneously. And then sometimes I just think to myself, Joe, you know, you ever just think to yourself? You ever just think to yourself, isn't it crazy? where life takes you? You know, if you had told me, I'd be sitting in the situation room.

We fired nuclear weapons on Iran. I would have told you you were nuts. I would have told you were crazy. And I went down, I sat with Usha. We had a nice dinner. And I said to where I said, I said, isn't this wild? Just look around at our life.

And, you know, she silently ate an eggplant. She doesn't, you know, eat meat, of course. You know, she's in that demon religion. All these demons, they don't need me. But I said to her, I said, what a crazy day at work? Because it's just for me, it's another day at work. It's another day at work, you know? Some people, some people go and teach the kids at the school.

Some people go and, you know, trade the stocks. But, you know, I went into work today and we vaporized. A lot of people just killed a lot of people. Joe, we killed a lot of people today. And I don't like that. Something I don't like. But, you know, as the vice president, my job is to just kind of sit there while we nuke a country

and just kind of provide my opinion. And then we just try to minimize the damage. You know, I say a prayer. I try to provide this president with all the support he needs. But that's where we're going. That's where we're going for J.D. Vance will be on a nuke tour. He'll be on a nuke tour. No, no, no, no, no.

Trust me. Jady Vance will be on a PR tour after we nuke Iran. and he'll be sitting there on all the podcasts. You know what I mean? He'll be on caller daddy. He'll do everything. And he'll be there trying to justify that use of nuclear weapons. Because unfortunately, that's the only way to go.

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promo code Tim. Quick before we get out of here, bacteria shuts down beaches coast to coast in the U.S. You can't go to the beach anymore because there's shit in the world. water. Let's listen to this. Tonight from California to Cape Cod, beachgoers escaping scorching summer temps are running into a wave of issues. Dozens of beaches in Massachusetts temporarily shut down. Officials posting water quality warnings at beaches in New York, New Jersey, Washington State, and here in Southern California, where the famed Santa Monica Pier comes flanked with signs sharing swim at your own risk. Is it harmful? Is it not? I mean, we hear bacteria, you ought to think it's harmful.

Yeah, it is. The heightened levels of bacteria discovered assigned water may be contaminated with germs or fecal matter. Here's what it is. This is what all the tech people wrote. We're at the end of this. We're at the end of this being a livable planet

and they know that and that's where they're trying to get out of here. You know, like, you know, it's 110 degrees and you're just trying to cool off and you can't swim in the ocean because it's a toilet. And there's shade.

everywhere. So the tech people know that. I mean, let's say this. Creeps, sure. Freaks? Absolutely. But they know. They know that this is, look, whatever this has been is ending. We're watching this. And we're going towards a new thing. We don't know what that new thing's going to be. We talked about a little bit what it's going to look like. But they know this. You can't even swim in the ocean anymore because it's just bacteria and shit. And all these facts. factories and stuff and company, they just dump shit in the oceans and they dump bacteria

and they don't care. And, you know, eventually you just spoil the planet and you go, we got to go somewhere else. We got to get out of here. We got to get out of here. But before we can get out of here, we got to build the digital grid

so that people can just chill in that while we figure out how to get out. Because they're going to say to people like, Listen, don't go swimming to shit water. Go on this app. And you feel like you're there. Like, they've got to build. The reason the digital grid is so important is that it will pacify the people just long enough for them to get off the planet.

Trust me, that is what they want. Their goal is to get the fuck off this planet. And the way to do that is to keep everybody chill while they figure out how to do it. So they got to introduce this digital thing where they go, guys, it's a digital amusement park you live in that. That's where you're going. That's where you're traveling. How about that?

So that's what they got to do before they can just get out of here. Because by the way, and I don't think they will get out of here. I think the ultimate folly of what they believe is they're going to go down with the ship just like everybody else. But in their minds, everybody's in their mind. they've got to think this is all leading to something. So they're sitting around going, listen, nobody's fixing any of these cities. They're not getting fixed.

It's, you know, crimes down in some of them, which is great. But, like, I mean, like, infrastructure, you know, they're not going to be vibrant cities. We're just going to let them go. You know, the water's got high levels of bacteria. Drinking water in a lot of areas isn't safe. That's not going to get better. RFK and Cheryl, I mean, did you see this?

He's like fighting a year. yak. This was the guy who was going to try to help the food. The food's as bad as it's ever been. That was all fake, by the way. He was going to look into all of the vaccines and the food. He didn't do any of that. It's fake. So he's like on some summer vacation with Cheryl and some yak. He's like on his Instagram. He's like, we did a 10 mile hike up the mountain and I saw a yak. And then I pushed the yak with my phone and it ran away. And you're like, hey man, weren't you supposed to like, I don't know, like, ban the big gulp or something?

They've done nothing. But all they could do is just move us to European standards on the food. They've done none of that. Because the corporations, Trump's a junk food addict. It's the junk food presidency. And all the people that own the big food conglomerates, they're like, well, no, you're not banning shit.

They banned one dye. This one red dye. So none of it's getting fixed. tech people are basically like, we just have to get out of here because, yeah, here we are. This is the health and human services secretary. This is the guy who's going to fix the food. Not sure. Did we get inside this thing?

Maybe you should get inside the cage. Honey. Yeah, it's dangerous. Yeah. It's dangerous. Come on, honey. Get up on the other side of that stone. Get on the other side of the stone wall.

He's fighting a yak. All right. Get him out of here. So that's now what our country has become. Our country now, he's doing content. The Secretary of Health and Human Services is now doing content on social media with wild animals. He's now become some weird version of the crocodile hunter. He's now like, he's the Steve.

Irwin that we, we, we, we, we, we deserve. You know what I mean? It's like, it's so, so that's what it is. So the tech people, again, they know this thing's cooked and they're just looking for a way out. But before they can get that, everybody's got to like voluntarily go into this matrix control grid thing, only because like everybody's just going to have to be well behaved because, you know, there's going to be a lot of reasons to not behave. That's coming. There's going to be a lot of reasons to not behave, like having no money,

having no job, having not a lot of food, an energy crisis. Like there's a lot of reasons for people to take to the streets. So what they got to do is they get people to doing something. They've got to get people doing something so that they're not out in the streets so that the tech people can just basically plan their escape. Because that's what they're trying to.

trying to do. They believe that. They believe they're trying to get off the planet. Merge with technology. Once they, once they merge with AI, it won't be that long. They go, once we have quantum computing, once AI is, you know, as smart as anything that's ever been times a million, then they'll be able to just get the fuck out of here. They go, because we'll, but we're going to merge with this AI. Otherwise, this AI would just get rid of us and then leave. We're going to merge with it so that we, and this is Musk, all these guys want this, we're going to merge with this intelligence so that we then have it and we can get the fuck out of Dodge and then leave the people here

on this rotted bacteria, you know, planet of shit oceans and smog and wildfire smoke and hell and lettuce at Taco Bell causing diarrhea and everything. They know that this is what it is, like this is, most of the stories this summer have been about shit. They've been about shit. They're shit in the ocean. People can't stop shitting because of the food they're eating. Most of the stories this summer have been about fecal matter.

Most of them. And they know that the planet is turning to literal shit. Literal shit. Not a metaphor. And the tech people know that. So they just go, listen, they're all going to eat these burritos and shit themselves, and then there's going to be shit in the water and they're going to go swimming and shit. And we just got to give these people some fucking meta glasses or whatever

and just let them sit on their couch and they can shit themselves and they can watch the World Cup through their meta glasses because we're getting the fuck out of here. That is what they're doing. They go, we're getting the fuck out of Dodge. So put your meta glasses on, sit on the couch, and shit yourself and watch the World Cup because we are getting the fuck out of here. That's what they're doing.

That's 100% what they're doing. You know, I mean, it's the summer of diarrhea. This is the summer of uncontrollable shit. This is the summer of people not being able to control their ass. That's what it is. This is not the sexy summer. This is a shit summer. brought to you by Taco Bell

and then whoever is dumping all of that shit in the ocean that people are trying to swim in. It's almost like invading Iran, it's almost like it's the only story that wouldn't involve literal human shit. So that's the kind of summer we're having in America and the people know. The people know what it is.

They know what it is. They know what's going on here. We're announcing a few new dates in the fall, Timdillincomedy.com. Enjoy, folks, enjoy your week. Swimming the shit. Just go swim in the shit because your family won't know the difference

and maybe one of them dies, but you can't afford them anyway. Swim in the shit water. And if one of your children dies, it'll be a tragedy, but you'll back to school shopping will be a lot easier. Anyway, that's our statement. That's our, that's our,

That's our hopeful take for you. And see you next week.