The Uneducated PT Podcast - #32 Mike Shea - The Busy Parents Dietitian

Episode Date: June 3, 2024

In this episode of the Uneducated PT Podcast we speak to Mike Shea who's a coach who works with busy parents helping them to reclaim their energy, confidence and fitness while managing the hectic life of a parent. Mike is a dietitan and also powerlifts so we talk about that as well as a host of different topics around the mindset of parents when it comes to nutrition. 

Hello and welcome to the uneducated PT podcast with me, your host, Carlo Rourke. The goal of this podcast is to bring on interest and knowledgeable people from all walks of life, learn a little something from each conversation. And for you, the listener, just learn something from each episode. So don't forget to subscribe to the channel, press the box below, show some support, and I'll see you on the next episode. What is the parent performance program? Yeah, so obviously it's like my signature program, right?

it's like my one-on-one coaching that I provide to parents specifically. And like, what does that actually mean? It's like it's essentially meeting kind of parents where they are, right? Because parents are in different stages, whether they have like fairly newborn kids, up to kids that are like in their teenage years. And like what I've learned is that like in each one of those stages, there's different struggles just managing like the family life. As the kids get older, there's more independent.

but then you kind of become more of like a taxi driver. So just essentially like meeting parents where they are, understanding their lifestyle, their family dynamics, so that I can provide the best coaching to them. But essentially it's, you know, it's nutrition coaching, it's workout coaching. And then probably the most important thing is like that accountability, right? Of like having somebody there in their corner,

just telling them like, hey, it's okay. And like sometimes that's all they really need. need to know because often I think, you know, prior to having kids, if they've worked with a coach, like, it's like, hey, we need to be on it every single day throughout the day. And when we become parents, like, there's just, the days are unpredictable sometimes. And we don't need to be perfect every single day in order to reach whatever goal they have. So like I was mentioning, sometimes it's just me telling them that like, it's okay. as you've probably seen, even with clients that are not parents, like there can be a level of

self-sabotage in there. And letting them know it's okay is sometimes all they need to know, like, just to continue moving forward. Were you coaching people even before you became a fodder? Yeah. So I, we'll probably get into it, but I started coaching in my undergrad when I started become a registered dietitian because I had the goal of wanting to become an online coach. So I was coaching anybody and everybody. It was mostly like fat loss body composition stuff. But then as I became a dad, I realized like how lost I was within that.

And that's what kind of led me to start to coach parents. Yeah. Well, this is what I was going to ask. Because like, was there a big change in even your, your philosophy and coaching once you became a father? And obviously, obviously there was. Yeah. I mean, I was one of those coaches, like saying like, hey, we need to, these are your nutrition targets. We absolutely need to hit these things on a daily basis if we want to see progress.

And the people that were able to, like, saw amazing results. and the people that weren't able to, like, still saw results. But I think it was like, you know, a lot of it was my coaching of like telling them, telling them they absolutely had to that kind of made them fall short. Because what I've realized now is that there's a lot more flexibility in this. Like, we don't absolutely need to be on point with our targets all the time. It's what I like to say, it's like it's what we do most of the time. It's not what we do some of the time.

another question I wanted to ask you was why registered dietitian what what was your interest in in going down that room yeah um i think you know like i said i got into it like probably five or six years ago at that time online coaching was was was new kind of um but i was i was powerlifting at the time so um i was powerlifting competing and got introduced to a company that was putting out a lot of evidence-based nutrition and training like e-books were really popular back at that time. And I noticed that a lot of their coaches were registered dietitians. I worked with one of their coaches and actually reached out to the owner because he was really close with the owner of the gym that I was training at. it was like, hey, like, I want to become a coach one day.

Like, what, you know, what do you suggest I do in order to become a coach with you guys? And he was like, well, all of our coaches are registered dietitians or PhDs. So then I was like, okay, registered dietitian. So look that up online. I was 32 or 33. So like, you know, I wasn't. You were late going into it, yeah. Yeah.

I'll be 40 this year, which is just crazy to think. But yeah, I went back to school. You know, I did my prerequisites at a community college, transferred to university, went through the program. Like I said, started my coaching business at that time. The name was hierarchy nutrition. And yeah, it was just the want to have the knowledge. Like I wanted to be equipped.

So you were already. you were already training and you were very much focused on performance and then you wanted to kind of rinse as much as that out of it by getting a more in-depth understanding of your nutrition as well. Yeah, like I saw how much of a role it played in myself and like my performance. And then as I went through, you know, several fat loss phases myself, I saw like the impact it had on me physically, mentally, and that's something that I wanted to be able to share with other people. And then just making sure that I was put in a position to be able to coach, you know, from not only like a body composition, fat loss standpoint, but also like the coaching side

of it of like, you know, counseling and things like that, that sometimes can get kind of slipped under the cracks, right? Because it's not just about numbers and these are your targets. You know, there's a lot of different reasons why people eat food. So we need to understand those things so that we can, you know, coach them more effectively. What was, what is your journey with exercise being like throughout your years? Have you always been someone who has been, you know, regularly trained and as it's something that you've had a passionate for? And, since you were a kid, has your training philosophy changed over time? Yeah.

So, I mean, I played like, I played like baseball when I was younger, did soccer, did basketball. Unfortunately, like when I got into high school, I just kind of realized like partying was a lot more fun and didn't really do any sports. Didn't do any sports through high school, didn't do anything through college. kind of continued partying after high school, had a couple failed attempts at college, thinking I wanted to be a business major and people would ask me like, well, what are you going to do? And I'm like, well, I don't know. Like, everyone's going to school for business.

So that's what I'm going to do. And it just kind of led me to drop out because I had no clear goal. But once I had that goal of like, hey, I'm going to become a dietitian, like, that's what kind of like really instill. it into me of like here's my goal. This is what I need to do in order to get there. But I got into I I mean I like lifted like bro lifted in the gym, you know, a little bit here and there. And then I'm not sure what got me into power lifting. But I started power lifting like late 20s. And that's kind of like the catalyst of like what brought me to where I am today. Like power lifting is weird like you know it's all about getting strong um lifting big numbers and you can

kind of get caught up in the mindset of like well the more that i weigh the more that i'm going to lift and to a certain degree that is true um but i was at a point where i was not happy with the way that i looked i certainly didn't look like i lifted um and then that's what like i was mentioning made me hire a coach go through those fat loss phases and then really kind of solidified like what I wanted to do at when I became a dietitian. Yeah, it's that it's that sacrifice between being the the big fat power lifter who can lift the most or just being really strong but also being being happy with your physique as well. Yeah, man. Like I think I think a lot of it has changed now like people understand that like you don't need to go to those great lengths. So

you can still be in like great shape and be strong. Yeah, I'm just thinking of Eddie, Eddie Hall in my head. Yeah, like Eddie Hall or Thor Bjornson. Yeah, but yeah, I think I think powerlifting was probably the catalyst. And as of right now, like I primarily, so I did jihitsu for a couple years, really loved it. But once my daughters came, like, it just didn't work out with like the family. because they've got morning classes.

That's when my girls wake up. They've got night classes. That's when my girls go down to bed or we eat dinner. So I had to step away from that. And that was something that I had to like actually realize like, hey, Jiu-Jitsu is just not going to work out right now with this like phase of life that I'm in. But it brought me back to to lifting weights. And I've been lifting now about a year and a half.

And I'm absolutely loving it. You're prepping for a photo shoot at the moment. Is that correct? correct? Yeah, yeah, I got a photo shoot next month actually. So four weeks from today. What are some things that people need to know if they're going to prep themselves for a photo shoot and do it successfully? Yeah, it's mental, man. Like, you know, as you get closer and closer to that date, like, there's going to be a lot of negative self-thoughts of like, can I actually do this like is this actually worth it um so i think first off is hiring a coach like i have a

coach myself and i mean there's been a couple times where i'm like hey man like i honestly don't know if i can make it these four weeks or these these next five weeks you know and it's more to him like me giving up control and him telling me like hey man you absolutely have this like there's going to be a lot of days that are going to come like this, but there's going to be a lot of learnings throughout this process as well of like what you can take with you, not only when you're coaching somebody, but you can

take it into other areas of your life. Like, something that I talk to my clients about is when they're having self-doubt is like, hey, look at other areas of your life where you have evidence that you have done something difficult. Because sometimes people

don't think they can do difficult things, but if they can acknowledge that they have done difficult things, then that can tell them like, hey, I am capable of doing something difficult, which can help out with their mindset. So mindset's huge is what I've been learning over these past, God, almost, almost 12 weeks. Like the first eight weeks, I was cruising. These past four weeks have been tough mentally. But I feel like, I feel like I'm learning a lot throughout this process, not only about myself, but also, you know, of, you know, of, of like how I can apply this, even if, you know, clients aren't doing photo shoots,

but there's a lot of, a lot of learnings within this process as well. What, um, what are some of the sacrifices you've had to make or are willing to make now to get to get to, uh, prep or as lean as you need to get? Um, so initially I wasn't really making any sacrifices. Um, you know, breakfast, we, we eat as a family. family, but like the girls usually eat something different just because they want different things all the time. So like my breakfast I can control, my lunch I can control because like I'm not eating with them. We're fortunate enough to have an opair. We both work from home, me and my wife. So we're not eating at the same time either. We're both entrepreneurs. So it's like when we have time,

we go downstairs, we eat lunch. And then I have like a bedtime snack. So those three things I can. control. The one thing that I really don't have much control over is my family dinners, because that's something that's really important to sit down with our girls, eat dinner as a family. So that's one thing that I've had to just kind of adjust, right? Like, I think something that I mentioned with my clients or talk to my clients about is like, we always have some element of control, right? Like if we're in this instance, like maybe I don't have control of like the food that my wife is making, but I, I always have control of how much food I'm actually going to consume. So I try to really hone in on

trying to eat until being satisfied, rather than eating until being full. And then 15, 20 minutes later, I find myself stuffed. So it's just a way to manage the caloric intake without actually having to weigh and track the food. And that's something that I've implemented with my clients, too, because like we don't need to track and weigh everything that we eat. If we can control what we can control most of the time, it's going to give us that flexibility to be able to have, you know, date nights, dinner with the family, as long as we're having some element of control. So there's will likely be some sacrifices in the next couple weeks.

But as of right now, like I, there hasn't been many, which has been really great. So. I think that's a really nice even structure in terms of, okay, even though you have this goal in mind and you know what you're doing in terms of diet and you're even very mindful that, okay, you're going to have your meals at the table with your kids and you're not like hyper-focused on, you know, this is, I have to be on a diet and so on and so forth or pass them down. of bad behaviors in front of the kids or anything like that. Yeah.

And I think that's probably like the biggest thing is my girls are really young. So like they might not understand it. But I don't want them, you know, seeing daddy like bringing out a food scale or, you know, I can't have this or looking at. Yeah, like this food's bad. So we try to keep everything very neutral so that I mean, especially as girls, like, you know, I don't want them to grow up having any kind of like negative thoughts around their body, around nutrition.

So that's something that's really important, especially working with parents who do have kids around like that kind of teenage years because what they, what you do with your kids around those years is what they're going to bring into their adulthood. So it's definitely something to be really mindful of for sure. What else, because I was going to come on to this topic, which is it? But what other advice would you have for parents in terms of setting a good example when it comes to their nutrition for their kids? For their kids? Yeah.

So I think I made a post about this like a couple of weeks ago. But really it just comes down to like not placing any kind of foods on a pedestal. There's a lot of really great accounts out there on Instagram that really work specifically. with parents and their kids. Because like when you put foods on a pedestal, like they're going to want those foods. And this one account that I follow had this analogy of like, you know, let's say you're going out running errands and you really want to get like a coffee and you have to do all these errands first to then get that coffee.

Whereas like, why not just get that coffee and do those errands at the same time because it's going to be a lot more enjoyable. And so kind of putting that into perspective with nutrition, it's like, hey, if like your kid wants a cookie, put that cookie on the plate and let them eat the things that they want to eat as they are eating the cookie. And yeah, sometimes they might just eat that cookie. But again, it's not placing any kind of like value on these things because the more that you place a value on it, the more that they're going to want it, right?

So just trying to keep foods neutral as much as possible. And do you think by, let's say, putting that food on a pedestal and telling them that they're not allowed to have it, that will cause harm and issues, you know, into their adulthood in terms of their control around food? It might because, like, you're almost making it like a reward, you know, like if you finish this food, now you get this cookie or whatever it is. So I think that reward-based behavior is probably something that they might seek out in the future. And like I said, like sometimes, you know, they're just going to eat that like that cookie. But I think it's important just to keep things neutral so that it's not looked at something as a reward or something special.

It's just there. If they want it, they can have it. but also too, like explaining like why they might not be able to have it, right? Like if it's breakfast and they want to have like just cookies for breakfast, it's like, hey, let's try to have something that's going to make your stomach feel good. Let's try to have something that's going to, you know, give you good energy so that they can think about it in that way, not just like, no, we can't have the cookie. Cookies are bad for you.

Yeah, that makes sense. and kind of making sure that you're always offering up the, you know, nutrient dense meal and providing it there and showing an example of you eating it. But then just because you're offering them doesn't mean that you're banning other fun fields. Yeah. And like, you know, they're going to, they're going to get to an age where they're going to go to friends' houses and they're probably going to have free reign of things. And like, just like you've probably noticed with clients,

if you tell them they can't have something, the second they get around it at like a barbecue or a family gathering, like they're going to be like, oh, there's those potato chips and they're not going to have any self-control over it. So I guess it's kind of similar to kids, but like it's more so setting those like, setting the foundation for how they think about food as they get older.

Yeah, it makes perfect sense. It's almost that like last chance syndrome. oh, I'm in my friend Jessica's house now and they're allowed to have cookies. So this is my last chance to eat all the cookies before I go back home where we're not allowed to have them. Yeah, we don't even have these in my house. Like, this is awesome.

And then like, you know, they eat a bunch. They feel like crap. So yeah. In terms of actual coaching and, you know, helping parents to become healthier themselves, what do you see that parents are doing that is preventing them from making progress. What do you see parents getting wrong

when it comes to improving their health and fitness? Yeah, there's probably two things. And I think I've probably mentioned both them already. Like, first one is self-sabotage, and the second one is just not getting, like, not getting extra clear or realistic with their, like, with not even goals. or expectations.

I mean, that's another thing, but I think what they're able to give mentally and physically to their goals. You know, a lot of parents that I've realized is like they try to do what they did to become in the best shape or be healthy, you know, prior to kids, whether that's training four or five days a week, an hour, hour and a half in the gym, you know, tracking everything that they're consuming. And then now here they are with, you know, maybe a one or two year old or multiple kids. And then they're like, okay, well, this is what I did prior to kids. And it worked. So let me try this now. And, you know, maybe they can do it for a week, maybe two weeks. But then they

just find it that like it's just not realistic. Like I don't have the time to go to the gym four or five days a week. I don't have the mental energy to weigh and track every single thing that I'm consuming. So it just comes into that cycle of like starting, stopping, starting, stopping, or like what most people say is like, I fell off the wagon or I'm off track. And then it's just that vicious cycle. And the second one is self-sabotage, you know, like you probably see this all the time is like thinking back to like no good foods, no bad foods, right?

Like not putting any foods on a pedestal because like wind, parents or even anybody, let's say they have what they deem to be a bad meal, like on a Friday, let's say. They're like, well, shit. Like, I've already screwed up my diet and here comes the weekend. I might as well start again on Monday. Whereas, like, if they were to not think about those foods as good or bad, like, all they need to do is like, hey, that next meal or that next day, we just get back into our normal routine. And that's what I was saying of in terms of, like me just being there saying, hey, it's okay. Like this is going to happen, you know? And then they like, they're like, oh, okay, like this is okay, right? So then they can get back into their routine that next day,

that next meal, rather than kind of taking the weekend off and just kind of completely blowing things and then starting again on Monday. And now they're kind of starting from fresh. Whereas like, if they would have just been intentional with their nutrition, they're starting again or kind of like getting back into their routine again at a much better place. So yeah, I'd say self-sabotage and just not being like realistic with what they can give physically and like mentally. It kind of like you just even spoke about at the start of this call when when you said that jiu-jitsu wasn't really something that was realistic for you after you after you had kids. but that doesn't mean that you stopped training altogether or stopped looking after your health or stopped looking after, you know, being mindful of your nutrition.

Yeah. Like I just like I knew it. Like I had my first daughter and I was still at that time like I was going through my internship. So I was driving an hour, was working at the University of Colorado and I wasn't able to train at that point in time just regardless. So I still wasn't doing Jit-sue. Once I was done with my internship,

me and my wife were, like, I was still able to go and train because we had an understanding of like, hey, we've only got one daughter. Like, I can handle one-on-one. But once you have a second one, then it's like two-on-one, which just becomes like a whole different, like a whole different game, you know? So a month prior to my second daughter coming,

I was like, okay, like, I have to stop training. like I know that it's not going to work. I mean, if I try to do it, like maybe I can do it for a couple weeks, but there's going to be there's going to cause some stress in the house. And it's just not going to be worth it. So I was like, I just need to, I need to lift, right? Because I can go and lift whenever. So right now I get up at 4.30.

I train at 5 a.m. prior to my girls getting up because it's not interfering with my work time. It's not interfering with my family. and for the most part, like, nothing, nothing can come up, right? Like, there's going to be some times where maybe my daughter doesn't sleep well. I have to go in and, like, maybe I take that morning off the next day. But for the most part, it's the time where it's my time and I can go and work out and just be in a great mood too afterwards once everybody's up and start my day. you also spoke about self-sabotage there

one thing that I wanted to ask you is and you also spoke about then obviously self-sabotage essentially going from you know trying to do everything then something going wrong and then doing nothing so how do we get a person a client into the mindset of you know doing a little bit but not putting too much pressure on yourself and just kind of being good enough. How do we get them from that, you know, all or not in mindset where they're self-sabotage into,

you know, being a little bit more consistent? Yeah, that's a good question. And I think it's, I think it's the way that you set up, like, when I have a client come on, like we have our first coaching call and we just make things like super realistic, right? it's like, hey, how many days a week can you train? Like, if it's two days a week, 30 to 45 minutes, that's great. I would rather start on the low end to help them kind of gain some wins along the way, especially initially when you're starting off like this kind of fitness journey.

And then if at a certain point, you know, they're like, hey, Mike, like, I can definitely get that third day in on a Friday and being like extra clear, right? Because like we don't want it to be like, yeah, I think I can. can get three days in. It's like, well, like, can you? Can you get three days in? Is it a non-negotiable or on your worst week, right? So that's something that's important is making sure that you're setting things up in a way that is going to be super realistic. And then it's the coaching moments, like having those coaching calls with those clients, when those things come up and really trying to unpack like, you know, why do you feel?

feel like, you know, you messed up and what do we need to do to kind of move past that? Like, what is your belief around that? Like, is your belief that, you know, when I mess up, like, I just ruin all my progress? And then it's like, okay, let's unpack that. Like, do you believe that to be true without a shadow of a doubt? And like more often than not, they're like, no, because like, I didn't really like, I didn't see the scale come up. And even if it did, it doesn't really matter as you know like our weight's going to fluctuate um but like creating doubt in their belief and then figuring out a new belief of like like for example you know if i you know if i'm not consistent and i have a bad meal it doesn't mean that i'm ruining all my progress and just

them coming up with that new belief and again me just telling them it's okay um can really start to kind of shift the way that they think about their nutrition. And over time, they understand that like, hey, it's not all about like one meal. And just like, you know, you've probably heard this before call. Like one salad isn't going to make you healthy. Just like one, you know, order at McDonald's is not going to make you unhealthy. Something that I share with clients is like this kind of Zoom out perspective. So let's say like a client works with me for six months and they have, you know, three meals per day. So what is that? That's going to do some math here, Carl. So six months, 180 days, let's say three meals per day. That's 360, 540 meals? Yes.

let's say 180, 180, 180 by 40. So let's say like, say 50 of those meals were like not aligned with their goals. Like it is such a small percentage of like the overall like, you know, outlook or or timeframe. And sometimes that can just give them a better perspective of like not feeling like they need to be absolutely perfect all the time. And then if you zoom that out like years and months, like. Like, you know, going on a vacation for a week. Like, you can certainly go on vacation for a week. Enjoy yourself and, you know, still have, like, still be intentional with your nutrition and

and still continue to work towards your health. Like, yeah, it's really good. It's the coaching moments. Yeah, it's because they're so fixated on the actual moment, the meal, you know, and by you essentially doing that and getting them to zoom out and see a broader perspective, of it shows how insignificant it is. Yeah. And the saying of like it's it's not a sprint.

It's a marathon. Like all of these like cliche sayings are, you know, as dumb as they are, they are true. And sometimes people just need to need to hear like, you know, need to hear those things so they can get a different perspective on it. Exactly why why you have a coach now at the moment, even though you know them things when you're in the moment and like, like it's very hard to look have perspective on your own life and your own situation and the the things that come up in your life so having that kind of outside perspective to kind of keep you calm is really invaluable yeah like it's it's just kind of giving up control at some point and letting this other person guide you there um while giving you like valuable nuggets or

knowledge around along the way to to keep you in because like as you know it's just like it's about stringing those days into weeks into months is where you're going to see going to see the progress whether it's fat loss muscle gain you know improving your health like it's the long game and if we can't string those weeks into months then we're just never going to get there so there's got to be there's got to be some flexibility in there so that they can continue they can can be consistent. Even if they are consistently inconsistent at times, they're still in a better position than they were previously to working on their like health and fitness. Yeah, I love that

consistently inconsistent because I think when people start, they expect themselves to be consistent and then they think they're a failure when they're not consistent. But even if they're doing a little bit more than they would have been doing, if they didn't start, they're winning. right yeah like think about what you did prior to us working together like like let's say you would have had a bad meal and like what would have what would have what would that weekend would have looked like however you say that it's probably going to look very different than how it looked like this past weekend you know and that in of itself is a win so it's like showing them those things too because you know they want to know that like, hey, I'm doing things better than I did before.

So trying to celebrate any wins along the way to, you know, increase that confidence in themselves that they can do this. They are doing it. And the motivation to continue as well. Yeah, 100%. One thing I wanted to talk to you about was guilt, especially around parents. And I'd say I probably presume that moms are probably even more. guilty of this of feeling guilt in terms of pursuing their their exercise regime or whatever it is.

How do you help parents from feeling these feelings of guilt when they're trying to prioritize a health and fitness journey? Yeah, that's a great question. And like, you nailed that. Like, it's the moms for sure that feel that mom guilt. Like, I talk to talk to parents, you know, all the time. and like, you know, something that my wife has even brought up is like, you know, when we take our daughter to kids club at the gym, you know, she's constantly thinking, like, is she okay? Like,

you know, how are things going? Where like me, I'm the dad. I'm like, like, yeah, I go there. I spend a little time with her. And then I'm like, okay, daddy's leaving. I'll be back soon. But like, I don't have those like feelings or thoughts of like, is she okay? How's everything going? And it's like, for some reason, like, you know, moms are just more prone to that and they can kind of think about those things and have like that pressure on them that dads just maybe don't have. But a way that I like kind of frame it is like, you know, the more that you focus on yourself in a way that's not taking away from the family, right? Like again, going back to realistic expectations, meeting them where they are setting them up with a plan that's not going to take away from their family. But the more that

you prioritize yourself and you become healthier, like whatever that means, or like increase your energy, increase like your self-confidence, like you're going to show up for your family in a different way than you are now, which you're almost going to be providing like more of you to your kids. So it might seem like right now, like you're showing up for your kids all the time and you're not taking care of yourself, but you're there, you're present. But let's say you were, you know, still present, but now you're showing up in a way that's like maybe more interactive, more engaging, having more patience, having the energy to, you know, or be more willing to go and play like out at the park with them, like, rather than just kind of sitting on the bench or things like that. So I try to frame it in a way of like, hey, yes, you're going to be working on yourself and you may feel like sometimes you're being a little selfish. But I want you to think about like how you're going to show up for your family when you are, you know, when you are this better version of yourself. Yeah, 100%.

I always say to clients on my program, it's it's selfish, self, self, selfless, selfish list. being selfish to be selfless essentially so yeah yeah like like you you doing something selfish so you can be selfless and be able to look after everyone else yeah and think about like longevity too right like you know if if a parent has like some sort of like disease or something that like their parents had like heart condition diabetes um things like that like that like Like, I realize, like, as I've been Alzheimer's. Like, I've realized, like, as I've gotten older, like, my goals have shifted, like, outside of right now, like, doing this photo shoot, like, I'm all about, like, bringing my best to that. But, like, outside of that, it's like, I want to make sure I'm healthy.

I want to make sure that I'm around. But I also want to make sure, like, I'm active and around. Like, I don't want to just be the parent or grandparent that's, you know, that's. just kind of there and sitting there because like I see my girls playing with their grandparents and I'm like that's what I want to do like I want to be there and be active and around yeah that makes perfect sense um what have you learned about yourself since coach and other parents I've I've learned I think what we've kind of talked about is like things just don't have to be perfect all the time um working with parents I've realized that you know by me

telling him these things, like they are still achieving, like, really great, like, results, whatever that is. And it almost lets me know in a way of, like, I can pull back sometimes. Like, outside of right now, like, I can pull back sometimes and not have to really, like, be so perfect with things all the time, too. You know, if I miss a day of training, it's okay. you know, if I go on vacation or, you know, whatever the case may be, like, it's, it, it's more so about like taking what I say and also putting it into practice too. Yeah, I kind of a journal prompt I always say to myself is what would I say to myself if I was coaching myself?

I like that. Yeah. Because usually it's the things that like were frustrated about or worried about. or anxious about that we would have the perfect advice for someone else, but can't see it ourselves. As opposed to what we were just talking about in terms of perspective on having a coach. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that that's huge because, like, I mean, I have, I think, like, a lot of one-liners that I say.

Yeah. Because they're really impactful. And I'm like, I'm sure if I used one of those on myself, I'd be like, okay. Like, yeah, that makes sense. But, like, it's just like taking advice from your spouse, you know? Like, sometimes it's different. taking that advice from somebody else. I don't know why,

but yeah, I think, yeah, that's funny. I wanted to go through a few quotes of yours that I really liked and I just wanted to kind of go in on them a little bit. So one thing you said was

when we set ourselves up for success, we're reducing any more decisions we need to make in the moment. Oh, yeah. So that's setting our future self up for success. What do you mean by that? So yeah, like, I mean, it applies to anybody.

Like if you're, you know, a corporate job worker or, you know, something I say to is like, we're all busy in our own ways. Like we're not, parents are just not busy, right? Everybody's busy. So if you think about it, like throughout the day, we make so many decisions around work, around our spouse, around potentially our kids, if we have kids. and we get decision fatigue where, you know, something that like can be really important to us, like our nutrition or our food choices, can sometimes end up taking a backseat because

we're just kind of like tired of like thinking of what we're going to do. So setting our future self up for success is essentially what can we do now when we have time so that Mike tomorrow or Carl in two days is set up for success. So whether it's like, you know, cooking some protein in advance, you know, cooking like having 20 or 30 minutes, like let's throw together some protein, cook it in bulk, put it in a Tupper, throw it in the fridge. So that like Mike tomorrow when he wants lunch, his protein's cooked, which is typically like the biggest barrier to a nutritious meal is having to cook that

protein. Or it's like, you know, let me retract my food the night before so that the following day, I'm not having to think about what am I having, how much am I weighing? And then also like, let me cook this as well. Something that I do with clients is having them kind of build out like a kind of weekly rough meal plan per se. And again, it's not meant to be followed perfectly. but it's it's a way for them to identify go-to meals that are quick and easy. So like in terms of it not needing to be followed perfectly, let's say Thursday rolls around and you don't want to have what you have on there. You can be like, you can look at it and be like,

oh, well, Tuesday's meal was really quick. It was delicious. Like, I'm going to have that Tuesday meal. So it's just finding ways to set yourself up for success. And whether you're a parent or not, like, we're busy in our own ways. And sometimes we can make decisions around our nutrition or fitness that we might not be proud of after we make those decisions, right? Whereas if we planned ahead any way possible, we're in a much better position to kind of to do the things that we know we should or could be doing. Yeah.

I know with myself anyway, it's when when I've had a long day and I've had to make loads of decisions and I have nothing prepared. It's when I make my most reactive and probably decisions that I wouldn't want to make in terms of nutrition decisions. And it's just because I'm reacting rather than being proactive. And you're hungry, right? Yeah, exactly. When you're hungry and you're looking for something, like, you know, if you see something in the pantry or the cupboard, is that what? you guys call it. We call them cupboards too, but like the pantry is where like the food goes and like cupboards

are where like the plates and like cups go. But yeah, like you see that thing and it's like it's right there and you're like, what should I eat? What should eat? Then you start grabbing things and you just start eating things, you know, prior to making that meal. Whereas like if you had a plan in place of like knowing that you're going to be out of the house for a couple hours, like at least knowing like, hey, when I get home, this is what I'm

going to have. Maybe it's not cooked, but you know exactly what you're going to have. You could take it a step further and you could plant, like, rep it beforehand. So when you come home, there's only a couple things to do. So that kind of goes back into, you know, setting your future self up for success. And I think that's why a lot of people tell themselves that they don't have willpower. It's like they might have been out all day. They've skipped meals. They go home. They've nothing prepared. And of course, they, you know, end up raiding the cupboards or, you know, ordering something. Because, like, there's a logically their body is screaming out for calories. Totally. Yeah. I mean, the drive, the drive to eat is can be really powerful, right? Like, you know, depending on if you haven't eaten for a couple

hours or, you know, you're 12, 13 weeks into like a fat loss phase, like that drive to eat can be really huge. And that's, yeah, it's it can definitely, like, it's adherence, right? If like we can't manage that hunger, like we're not going to be able to adhere and ultimately not going to be able to get to where we want to go. Another one of yours that I really liked was nutrition is more than just weight boss. What does you mean by that? Yeah. I mean, something that like I have noticed, you know, with working with parents is that there's a lot of change, you know, like I think, you know, especially with parents, it's like, you know, most of my clients are moms, like 99% of the time. I mean, I have a couple like partners that come on board.

But for some reason, like, I don't know why, but just moms come and that's who I work with. And, you know, going through pregnancy, there's a lot of change that happens with your body. And what I've realized is that moms can sometimes kind of lose themselves, like they kind of lose their identity. especially if they have like, you know, small age gaps between kids and they've kind of essentially been pregnant for like two or three years in a row. And they're like, I just don't know who I am anymore. So you can really kind of find yourself again. And it's kind of exciting in a way to see like who you're going to be, what you're going to discover along the way. But yeah, other than that, it's like, you know, you're increasing like your energy.

you're improving your health, you're improving your confidence, you're showing up with your family at like a different frequency. And like all of those three things that I just mentioned there, like increasing your energy, confidence can translate into so many different areas of your life. Like you're going to show up to work much more confident, you know, like you're maybe you were one to not like speak out about things, but now you're like, you're unstoppable. you're feeling really good, you're feeling strong, and now you have like a voice that you didn't have before. Or maybe your, you know, physical relationship with your spouse has improved because you feel more confident in yourself, which is going to kind of tighten that bond

with you and your partner. So yeah, like nutrition or weight loss is, is just a byproduct of those things, you know, like when you are, when you are eating nutritious, you're going to first feel the benefits of that in terms of energy, confidence, just a weight off your shoulder of like knowing that you're doing things right. And when you string those months, those weeks into months, then you're going to start to notice the fat loss, the changes, which is a byproduct. Do you think clients become too obsessed about losing weight

that they miss all their other wins and benefits? that are actually happening on the journey. Yeah, they definitely can. You know, there's, it's why it's important. I mean,

obviously like, you know, non-scale victories, right? Like, when I first, when I have like my first coaching call with clients, like I try to figure out like other goals of theirs outside of just,

you know, the scale, right? Like the scale, I mean, it's good. It can like show us progress when it, does, but sometimes it just doesn't.

Like, I've had a lot of clients that only lose a couple pounds, but like visually, like, we can see massive changes. And typically it's like females that are kind of small framed already kind of relatively lean, but still have a little bit of fat that they'd like to lose. But also, like, you know, figuring out, like, how is this going to improve like their life, right? like mentioning I want to be able to just get up and go and play with my kids. Cool. That's an awesome goal.

So that's something that we're going to know that you've accomplished like when that happens. Right. So constantly reminding them of that of like, you know, asking them the question like, you know, how were you, how was this past week and do you like feel that you were more inclined to go and play with your kids? Were you more active with the family? were you going out and getting walks with the family? Like those are things that you weren't doing before.

Now you are doing them. So it's just more about making them aware of things that they weren't doing before, but now they are doing them. What's one thing that you love about your job? I think the impact. You know, I think it's probably cliche in saying. But, you know, one of the questions I ask in my weekly performance review is like, you know, what are some wins? And then also, you know, is there anything that I can be doing better?

And seeing those wins are really awesome because like, you know, it just shows that like, hey, the work that I'm doing is providing value to these parents. And then, you know, every once in a while, I'll get somebody saying like, the program's awesome. I love the support. Like, you're doing great. So that's always nice to hear as well. And I try not to. place, you know, too much value on my client's results because like ultimately it's, it's not up to me. Like I can give them the plan. I can give them the coaching. Like I can do all that I can, but it's up to them, right? And something that I used to kind of have, like something I used to think about a lot is like, um, I base my success on my client's success. So

when my clients are successful. Yeah, sometimes when you do that, you can then start to push your clients into behaviors that aren't necessary for them to be pushed into. Totally, right? Because, like, they're not losing weight for some reason. I want them to be successful. Because I want to be successful where it's sometimes, like, I needed to let go of that and just find evidence of, like,

why I'm successful or why I'm good at what I do rather than it just being based on like results, right? Because results can come in so many different ways. Yeah, I was I was literally only thinking about this today, like the fact that like as, as coaches a lot of the time will speak to clients and tell them that it's not at all about weight loss. There's other things that you can focus on. But then a coach could have the mentality of thinking, oh, they're not losing weight. So I'm not doing well at my job.

Right. Yeah. And then that can affect the way you show up with other clients. It can affect the way that you show up to your family. Like you're feeling like you're not successful. So like something I had to work on. And I think, you know, kind of letting go of that has been kind of like a weight off my shoulders, I guess. Like I still absolutely want my clients to be successful.

But I just don't place my success on their success like I did in the past. Makes sense. What's one thing you would want all parents who are struggling to know? That's a good question, Carl. I guess, you know, we can think about struggle, like, in so many different ways, you know, and I think as parents, they can struggle with just, like, feeling like they have the energy to be able to, you know, focus on their nutrition or workouts or, whatnot. But I think it goes back to like probably anything is better than nothing, you know. And even if you're

in this like crazy phase, like a newborn with a toddler and the days just seem like endless, like, there's always there's always something that we can do to to kind of move the needle forward. You know, if like, and it's kind of about being like super honest with yourself. Like most times parent or clients know what they should be doing, but they just don't do it, right? So it's like, be super honest with yourself. Like, I, I know you know that like ordering Uber Eats or, you know, do you guys have Uber Eats? Yeah. Yeah, we call it. We have Jocene, but I know Uber Eats. I know, like they know like that's not serving them, right? So it's like, it's helping them identify like or even them just identifying what they're doing now that like could potentially like

if they change that one thing by a small margin you know then I might not see like weight loss or anything like that but they're going to feel better like the food we eat gives us energy and kind of going back to what I was saying of like eating until being satisfied right like we want to eat to the point where we eat food and we feel good afterwards whereas if we eat to the point of being like fuller stuffed. We're going to feel lethargic. We're going to feel like bloated. So even if it's just like managing your portion sizes or even if it's just reducing the amount of times you eat out, like those things over time are going to make a difference. And every parent struggles. Like I struggle. Like I mean, if you compare people on Instagram,

like it's just a highlight real. Right. So like just know that like everyone has. their struggles and I made a post just before getting on the call here and it's like, you know, even if you are a parent, like you can still absolutely work towards goals, right? Like there's parents that are doing it and it's not to make you feel bad about it, but it's more so to show you what's actually possible, you know, like you can absolutely have a goal. Even if you are struggling, you can absolutely have a goal and still make like small, even if small steps in that direction.

I wrote something down on my notes there yesterday and it was be big enough to start small. And I think that really complements everything that you've spoke about today in terms of, you know, something that's good enough, doesn't have to be perfect but good enough. And, you know, what can I do today? What do I have control over, you know, creating that imperfect action and not having this all or nothing mindset? And I know these are things that people probably know, but knowing and doing it are two different things. And it is difficult to start small because you kind of have to put your ego aside and be like, you know what? I have to start where I am.

Yeah. I mean, we all want instant gratification, you know, and it's like some people. I mean, if I can't do everything, then what's the point of doing something? And it's just fitness is just not like that, you know? And a lot of things aren't like that, but fitness too, because, you know, it is something that is just going to take time. But, you know, if you make those small changes, like over time, things are going to happen. They might not happen as fast as you'd like, but being realistic with the expectation can also be really important. But yeah, I like that. Being big enough to start small is what you said. Yeah, be big enough to start small. I have two more questions for you and then I'll let you go. Yeah.

Last second last question. One thing that you would change about the industry that you work in. Me specifically in terms of like the niche that I work with is is all the different like programs that are out there. You're not necessarily like coaching like coaches programs, but more so like big company programs like weight watchers, beach, body, herbal life. All of these things are just very generic and they're not personalized to that person per se. Like most online coaches are hopefully going to meet you where you are, going to figure out what's realistic. And that is 10 times better than just going ordering this program and it's just meant for everybody. So I think that's kind of the biggest thing.

like just these very these big companies with the programs that they have and people start them they fail and then they give up hope on themselves it almost uh contributes to what you're speaking about about this kind of all or nothing mindset it's like you have your plan it's black and white you either do it and pass or you don't do it and fail yeah right and if you can't do it you fail and it's like well that's not actually the case like you can still do it and maybe not do it to the degree that they want you to do it, but you're not failing along the way. And that's where the self-sabotage comes in, the self-doubt and just that cycle that we were talking about. Last question I have for you. So it's a big, it's a big aspiration of mind to be a father. I can't

wait to, till I'm a dad. I just wanted to know, I was just curious, has fatherhood changed you as a man? Yeah, absolutely. just being more selfless, like, just knowing that, like, it's not just me. Like, everything that I do is most everything that I do is centered around, like, family, kids, right? Like, I want to be successful in my business so that I can give my girls X, Y, and Z. Like, make sure that they have food, make sure that if they want to, you know, go to, if we're at the grocery store, they want to buy a toy. Like, I can do that, right? Like, um, it's, it's definitely a,

an adjustment, right? Because you go from having all the time in the world, all of the, like, um, yeah, all the time, no interruptions. Like, you can do whatever the heck you want, whenever you want. Like, we have neighbors that have kids and like, we'll see them go to the, go to a brewery at like 4 p.m. And I'm like, man, like, that must be nice. But like, I love having a family. love my girls and it's definitely made me have a lot more patience because there's times where patience is is pushed and it's it's yeah it's giving me a lot more patience and just perspective of like you know I've got these girls that that count on daddy and I want to make sure that you know what I'm doing is aligned and giving them the best life you know whether it's things they want

or setting them up for success as they get older, you know, and becoming their own adults. Do you think it's given you more purpose as well? Totally. Yeah. Like, I mean, you know, when you've got kids that just love you unconditionally and call you daddy and, like,

think that you can do anything and everything, like, it's definitely, definitely very purposeful. Like, where can people? go if they want to reach out to you, ask you about your coaching program, maybe just ask you a question, maybe they're interested in the podcast we spoke about today. If they wanted to reach out

and ask you a question, where's the best place that they can go to find you? Yeah, best place is Instagram. My Instagram handle is the busy parents dietitian. Yeah, and like you said, Carl, even if it's not to ask about the program, but you just got a question like, I'm always active inside Instagram, DMs. And if it's just a question, like, I'm here and I want to support you. Like, my goal is to show parents like what's actually possible, right? And if that is a limiting belief, like, I'm all for helping parents because I was struggling myself and I know how kind of difficult it can be at times.

So, yeah, I'm definitely available on Instagram. even if it's just a question. Unreal. And I'll leave all the information in the show notes, anyone, if anyone wants to follow you and reach out. Mike, that was unbelievable. I really appreciate your time. And I think the work that you do is really, really important.

So I appreciate you. And I can only thank you for your time today. Thanks for watching. If you like that episode and you want to see more content like this, make sure you're subscribed. And I'll see you on the next one.