The Uneducated PT Podcast - #44 Kim Karlsson - Pilates Coach

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

In this episode of the Uneducated PT Podcast we speak to Kim Karlsson a Pilates Coach from the UK we a different approach to most Pilates teachers.Expect to learn about approaching chronic pain, creating realistic expectations for success, walking away from work that doesn't serve you and much more.

Hello and welcome to the uneducated PT podcast with me, your host, Carlo Rourke. The goal of this podcast is to bring on interest and knowledgeable people from all walks of life, learn a little something from each conversation and for you, the listener, just learn something from each episode. So don't forget to subscribe to the channel, press the box below, show some support and I'll see you on the next episode. Kim, can you tell the listeners a little bit about your profession, your background, what you're doing currently?

Sure, yeah. So my name's Kim Carlson. I'm a Pilates coach. my business is helping busy moms with bad backs. I've been in the game now for about four years. I'm relatively new to the industry of Pilates, but I came to Pilates after having my own back problems and my own back surgeries.

I've been struggling with an issue since I was eight years old. I had an accident when I was eight. And I found that kind of doing Pilates twice, three times a week, I was no longer taking painkillers. And then I became quite addicted to the practice of Pilates. And I suppose like what I built now is kind of what I needed 11 years ago. So there was a gap in like, you know, what my needs were as a person struggling with my back pain, my weight and my newborn. And yeah, I've kind of put together this program to help that person.

So what are them needs? So what are what is it that, you know, are the sort of issues and problems that clients come to you seek and help? So ultimately it's having maybe undiagnosed back pain, not knowing why you're back. saw. Pain every day is really hard to manage. It gets really in there. You start to lose confidence in what your body can and can't do. It's really hard to look after a kid, a baby, a toddler, when you're managing backpaint every single day. Like, just to give you a little bit of background and context, I had an accident when I was eight. I fell off a climbing frame in a shitty council estate in East London. And I was temporary paralysed. I had to change schools. I had to have

rehab to learn to walk again it was you know the whole shabang um and then i was always like into cricket and into sport as quite a tomboy like as a teenager uh so i feel like that really helped me kind of keep mobile keep strong um and then i went and did a dance degree um at university and i had a couple of relapses then like you know a bit of african dance throwing your body around you're going to have a few twinges you know um but i do feel like as a teenager i always kind of try to keep myself strong. And then I had my first child, I was 25, 26. And then the theory is during labour, I slipped to dis during labour in the same area that I had the weakness already. So straight afterwards, like, you can't, like, you can't sit up and breastfeed. You can't lift the baby

from the pram. You can't lift the baby from the cot. And you're awake or not anyway, so you're fatigued, you're tired, your nutrition is probably out the window. You're sat on your ass on the sofa for about eight hours changing nappies in breastfeeding all day. Like, there's no rehab going on there, you know. But so, yeah, after some investigations, took about nine months, we figured out that had a, like, a slip disc, a prolopsis in my alpha or five, pinched on the nerves going down my leg. I've lost a feeling in my foot completely.

And I lived in a flat, right, with a newborn. So it was really quite hard some days to, like, lift him down the stairs, lift the pram down the stairs. You know, like that baby, bless him, he, ate on the floor, played on the floor, or slept on the floor, because some days I just had to wait for my husband to go and from work to actually lift him up.

So it was pretty horrendous. And then you've got all like your new mum friends, like going on, like play mummy dates and baby swimming and baby sensory and sitting on the floor for an hour in a circle. And I really did try. Like I went to a couple, but fuck me, I'd be in pain the rest of the day.

And then I started kind of like taking loads of painkillers. And then that wasn't really working. And I start taking LEMSIP to help with the, you know, trying to like double up on the painkillers. And it, you know, it's just, I got a bit hooked on Kokomol. Like it was, it was pretty bad. So yeah, so after kind of like, you know, no more options, tried Cairo, tried osteo, tried everything, I took surgery to remove part of the disc

that was pinched on the nerves going down the leg. And then that all went okay for a little while. I went back to being a school teacher. I was head of dance at a college. but very quickly I was like tried to reach my knees and you know just my flexibility was gone my strength was gone I would you know I think I was a bit too impatient and I'm teaching is like 18 year olds I get their legs up here and you know very quickly I was like no can't do this I'm out so I kind of re-qualified and went into primary school teaching and it's just really like it's hard to be a

full-time teacher and a mum right so I found that like very quickly like my health and fitness was at the window. I was too busy with work, quick meals, quick rainy meals, whatever was kind of cutting it. You know, that baby was the first one to be dropped off at nursery. The last one picked up at night. The weight kind of ballooned on a little bit, had a second child and then just had like ongoing issues in my back. So that's when I kind of started to learn a bit more about it, educate myself a bit more about it, kind of like, I already did a little bit of anatomy and physiology at uni. So kind of like took that learning and qualified in like Pilates but also anatomy physiology for all the people of low back conditions. And yeah, just came a little bit addicted to

helping myself, I suppose, you know. So yeah, I suppose like the issues that myself and like other moms that I work with is that kind of mum guilt of not being able to play with your child on the floor, or like having to manage the back pain, not being able to lift the pram out of the car. And, you know, small things like we talk about how it's really hard to drive a manual car and be in traffic for three hours when you've got really bad sciatica.

Yeah, imagine. You know, so, you know, small hacks like changing your car to an automatic, using a rucksack as your nappy bag, not one shoulder, you know? Like, wearing trainers, not bare feet all the time. So you've got a little bit more support if you do have any balance issues in sciatica down the leg. So, yeah, these are kind of like, I suppose everyday problems that a lot of my mum's just kind of endure and just kind of put up with.

So do you have any of that pain now or is it, is it gone out of your life? I'd be lying if I said it's gone out of my life. I fixed myself hurrah, you know? No, so the condition I have is something I'll be like I'll be kind of working with the rest of my life. The surgery I had is successful for approximately about 10 years. Mine lasted 11. Brilliant. Last summer I started getting the old kind of dull eight down the leg again, the numbness in the foot. but last time, you know, I was kind of scared of all, what have I done? Like, I'm going to sit down and rest. This time I accelerated.

I kind of continued with my PT, continued my own training. You know, I kind of tried to keep going as long as I possibly could. And I knew that this surgery might happen again. So I was like preparing my body like the prehab for that surgery. Yeah, that makes sense. So I took the surgery again, slightly more invasive this time. It's called a bilateral deceptomy, where they're going both sides of the lumbus spine. and they show the disc down on both sides,

where it's kind of prolapse both sides. And, yeah, touchwood again, really good. But because that one has said to me, you know, keep going with your Pilates, keep going with your strength training, but you are looking at maybe another 10 to 15 years of having, like, a spinal fusion. So, but my case is kind of rare,

like intervention to that extreme is rare. You know, I do find that, like, many people can train and many people can, after six, 12 weeks, society, it does ease, and it can get better on it. time. Yeah. So right now, what you're essentially saying is that, you know, you had that kind of flick of a switch to be like, okay, I need to prepare my body to withstand going through surgery

and then the recovery after and so on and so forth. But before that, when you were still in pain and you were a school teacher at this point as well, this is when kind of all the healthy habits and the training kind of went out the window a little bit because you were overrun. and you were overworked as well. I was burnt out. I was burnt out. I, you know,

so I went back to school teaching. I was then like a year six primary school teacher. I had, you know, Alex who was then six. Benji was like one and a half. And yeah, I was burnt out two kids.

I wasn't happy. I was not happy. And I felt like every, everything I did in that job was bloody wrong. Like, you know. And then, it was when, you know, we had COVID and we're going to like the bubbles and stuff.

I remember like, you know, I asked to kind of come out of year six and I wasn't very happy and it was very stressful. You know, we have the exams and stuff. And my head teacher said to me, well, do you know what, Kim? You don't really fit in here. So I've got a finger, very carefully about where to put you. And I was like, I don't fit in. And it's like, no.

And that is what I needed. I needed that to be. And I told him to go, fuck himself. Yeah, of course. My notice is in the next day. You know, my husband was like, we're about to move house. What are you doing? I was like, you know, my East London proud self was just like, no, I am not taking that crap

from anyone. I was already qualified and teaching polities at this point. So I was already thinking about like, isn't that sometimes what people need though? Because sometimes you can kind of get comfortable in that like, I'm not happy, but I'm not unhappy enough to make the change. And then sometimes it's like, sometimes you need that push out the door that you actually wanted. And that's, that's literally the push out the door that you probably need it. The best thing that could have happen honestly like I hate that guy with a passion but thank you so much and and do you think then that helped then because I've seen your transformation and do you think that helped then even just getting out of somewhere that you weren't happy and that helped to kind of start building momentum

to to where you've got it 100% I feel like the first thing that changed was my mind then the point came next like so in my head I was like right I'm going to like I need to kind of like prove these guys wrong. I need to be successful because like I'm leaving a very like a very good established job. Um, I, like I said, I had this mortgage in principle and we're moving house and renovations and you like, you know, in my head, I had to be successful and I had to be a role model to other people that were going through the same problems as I was like. So there'll be times when, you know, during COVID, I didn't want to wake up and do that work. I didn't want to go and I was running as well. I was doing runs like 5K runs. Um, you know, it was, it was pretty pretty pretty.

special time. But I think like, yeah, the ambition and the drive to be successful and to make something of myself and do well, not only my body, my mind, but also in the business, that was like a huge driver for me. And I was like immensely passionate about teaching Pilates for Backy. Because it was just, you know, it was working for me. It was, you know, a great escape for me as well. So, yeah, I just, it was definitely the push I needed.

So, yeah. And I think that's something that people don't talk about enough is like when people talk about like transformation and physical transformation, usually that's just a byproduct of someone actually feeling better in themselves, whether that is changing a job, you know, getting out of a toxic relationship, whatever it is. It's you actually improving how you feel mentally in your mood and that can be a byproduct to all them kind of healthy habits and behaviours that you want to implement as well. Absolutely.

And I feel like that's why like when I coach, I question a lot about what else is happening outside of polite age training and nutrition. What else is happening? What else is going on? You know, sleep, hydration, rest, like, you know, happiness with your partner. Like, there's so much that contributes to your stress levels. And, like, yeah, if you feel like, I feel like I started feeling proud of myself. Yeah.

And when I started feeling proud of myself, I started to kind of, like, hold myself differently. I know it sounds a bit strange, but, and I would wear and I'd choose different clothes that probably wouldn't before before I probably want to just cover up and hide up me my mum belly and that kind of thing but yeah no I think going forward I felt I was standing a bit taller and I was a bit prouder and yeah I think there's there's a lot to be said for like taking action and that breeding confidence in yourself you know like you can do all the classes you can do all the certifications you can do all the learning but actually taking the action and and the doing that breeds confidence, that brings that energy to what you need to succeed in that.

Yeah, 100%. And so some of the clients you have now, obviously they come to you, they're in pain. What are some of the things that you implement? Like tell me a little bit about Pilates, how this helps with the clients in terms of pain prevention or managing pain and so on and so forth. Yeah, so quite a few more clients come from me from referrals from like physiotherapy. and you know we'll go through basically like what does your day look like tell me what is your day what's your habits what's your lifestyle what's your work like what does your day look like because how do we get to this point yeah you know I'm all about obviously like kind of helping fix

people but let's talk about prevention as well like what happened to get to this point you know and we you know they will kind of come to me and they'll talk a bit about things about their work, their kids, you know, I've got a couple of clients, one in particular, you know, she had such bad back pain that she stopped kind of moving, if you like, and then she put on loads of weight.

And then she got to the point where, you know, she was struggling to take her, walk her kids to school. And it was relying on friends of family to take her kids to school. And then, you know, she felt like a shit mom for that. And it comes a vicious circle almost. You're in pain, you don't want to move and you don't want to move.

So that makes it even harder to reduce. reduce the pain. Yeah. So, you know, someone like, and my clients can move with all different types of needs from different starting points as well. Yeah. So someone in that position, you know, we very, we start up with a very basic, like, let's look at a step count and let's be getting you doing too polite as a week online, 30 minute classes. That's an hour in the week, you know, and it's online. You have to worry about the childcare that, you know, you're in the house. Yeah, they need to be flexible almost to their, to their life stuff. So yeah, absolutely. And then we do a bit of a checking and see how they're feeling, what's helping, what's not. And then, like, we kind of

phase that a little bit. We kind of sort of like a short-term goal. Okay, well, you know, you're currently doing around three to four K steps a day. Can we push that to 6K? Can we push that to five and a half K? You know, nothing, I think this magic number of 10K, I don't know where that's come from, but like, you know, I try and teach people that you're in competition with yourself. You're in competition with yourself last week, not, not anyone else. So, So if your current go-to is four K steps a day, then let's push it to five. Do you have a struggle with trying to manage clients' expectations when they come to you? Obviously, because, you know, people who probably need the biggest change try to change everything,

when in reality they probably only need to start small. That's hard to get people to pull back and decide that you don't need to do everything. I've got a new lady, bless her now. She won't mind me saying, but like, you know, she's signed up like three days. days ago. We're just doing a basic food diary of what she's currently eating and what she's currently doing. So I've got a baseline to start off from her. Right. She's like, oh, where's my weights workouts? What gym should I join? And I was like, dude, calm down. Like, you know, you know, and yeah, there is a process. And I think a lot of people will try and change all the

variables and then wonder why they give up in week two and week three. It's too fucking hard, you know? Like my coach talks about like this triangle of awareness, how you can't be in all points of the try and go at the same time. Like you're either killing it with your workouts, you're either spot on with your nutrition or you're feeling fucking great and you're getting loads of sleep and recovery. All three don't work at the same time. You're always trying to gravitate towards like, you know, try to get a balance between the three. But yeah, I think the most successful people kind of trust in the process and they treat one variable at one time. Speaking of the most successful people, I've seen that you had one client who was richer for a year and they lost like 50 kilos.

Yes. Tell me, for anyone, listening and who might be like starting off a weight loss journey or just a health and fitness journey or just trying to improve the overall quality of their life like what are the variables or the ingredients that go into someone being successful like that? So I think Tony's kind of biggest driver was his motivation. So I'll share of you, his daughter actually joined my program first and she was getting results. So he saw that and he wanted a bit of the action. So I took a call with him and we talked a little bit. He joined me in the July, in the June-July time.

He was getting married in the October. And his big goal was that he didn't want to walk down the arm with a walking stick. Because at this point, the guy couldn't walk. Really? Yeah, he needed a walk. His back pain was so bad. He needed a walk and stick to walk with. And again, that vicious cycle came into play.

We talked a little bit about what's, because the guy used to do boxing as a younger guy. And I was like, well, how? happened, you know, back pain, stopped moving, put on weight, comfort eating, feeling sorry for yourself. You know, that big, that's something that we didn't speak about as well. It's like, it's a, it's a lot easier to implement healthy eating behaviours when you feel good because you're training. And if you can't train because you're in pain, where are you going to get that comfort? You're going to get it from food. Yes, absolutely. And it's not even about the psychological connection between comfort food and working out.

Sometimes for me back in the day, it was a very practical thing. It hurt to stand on my feet for 10 minutes peeling potatoes. Yeah. But I would just order in or I would just get a quick fix because I wouldn't be standing over the kitchen and stove doing that. And I know it sounds really hard for some people to understand, but if you suffer a back pain, you know what I'm talking about.

You know, so. But yeah, like for Tony, he didn't want to walk down are with a walking stick and he didn't want to go on a honeymoon he wanted to go on honeymoon and fit into a chair on the plane yeah you know the seatbelt you know so do you think that's it for for like that kind of big physical change it's like someone has had enough with the the essentially the pain that they're in or the circumstances that they're in and if it's strong enough to want the change you're going to change absolutely I think there's there's two kind of pushing pulls you either pushing away from pain and pushing away from your problems that they're

so bad that you don't want to be there anymore. Yeah. Or the poor, the great, the reward, the success is so illuminous and so good that you want that so much. And sadly, it's both. Like I find that my most successful clients have got an immense amount of, not even just pain, but trauma and issues around their family life, but they don't want to be in anymore.

And the reward and the success and the, you know, the light of it in the tunnel is glaring out them. And that's why, like when I say to people, like what's the long term goal? If someone says something to lose two stone, I say, well, I'm not for you. Like, I'm not a weight loss coach. Yeah.

All right? That's just a byproduct of what we do. Yeah. So, you know, it has to be something great and it has to be something around like, you know, you want to lift your three year old in and out the car because they've got a disability. It's almost, it's a terrible thing, but it's almost like you need to almost hit rock bottom. So then you have that, you know, energy to be like, right, I need to get out of this position that I mean.

Yeah. I mean like some of my clients know they're not at rock bottom some of them have got like undiagnosed general back pain but they're smart enough to know that if they don't do something about it it will get worse you know and they're just disciplined enough and they're motivated enough to kind of want to make a change very quickly in exercise in pilates you feel different you feel change and then I think that feeling becomes a little bit addictive well that's the thing then you start gravitating towards rather than running the way from absolutely absolutely and I feel like yeah people come to me they've been. and maybe painkillers for some time. They're paying out crazy amounts for Cairo and osteo. They don't have childcare to like kind of try out the gym and give exercise a go. Or they see their friend doing five and ten k runs. I think, oh, that should be for me too. And I'm like, mate, the weight that you're carrying with a bad back, no, fucking stop running.

And I ask you a question because you said that your client was a boxer. So if he was, if he used to play sport, then I would imagine. him having to start small would be very difficult because, you know, as an athlete, your ego would be like, I can do more. And like you're thinking about the person that you are rather than the situation that you're in now. Yeah, yeah. And like, you know, I'm sure you'll be the first to admit. Like he loves the gym. He loves the social element of the gym. He's got a few friends down there. He has pushed it too far and we've relapsed a little bit. So it's a little bit like we've done that. He's learned that lesson. And now like, you know, we're kind of going forward with the plan. I mean, but he's a year in now. But yeah, in the early days, it was. you know, given the sculpt and tone class that I do, which is a more advanced Pilates with weights,

and, you know, just seeing how that feels on your body, but you know, I've gone a bit too far there. Let me bring it back a little bit. And unfortunately, like, it's a little bit of suck it and see. Like, I would never say to someone, you can't do that because you have this. No, no, no, no, no. We're going to fucking try.

Yeah. Right? Because I think this is so important and this is so powerful. And I think if you put your mind to something, you will find a way to do it. You know, I do have a lot of clients that come and their fear in movement, that they know that twinge feels like,

they know that that means that they're going to be three days out of work. You know, so there is a fear of movement there. But like I said before, action breeds confidence. They'll try maybe the chair polites to start with, feeling good, progress onto the mat Pilates, feeling better. Like, and hopefully the more action they take,

the more confident they are in themselves and their ability. And you learn a bit more about your body. You know that, oh, okay, when I bridge that high and I squeeze my boots too much, I get a twinge there, so I won't go that high. time you know so how important is it to for to be losing weight in order to be able to reduce the amount of pain that you're in and being able to do these things that strengthen your core or your

back yeah i think you know a lot of research will show you as well there's a lot of positive correlation between weight gain and back pain and um you know the more weight you carry the more you you're putting your spine under pressure the more you're compressing the disc the more you are typically being overweight your core your abs your back isn't as strong so we shift a little bit of weight we strengthen the abs we strengthen the back extensors we strengthen the core we mobilized the spine because everyone's fucking sat like this for eight hours a day right um and yeah I think very very quickly when you start to feel the difference and just feel that I don't know there's I can't describe it but there is there is something like that

just switches on. And if you haven't done exercise for some time, you've taken some time out for an injury and you start exercising again, you start to learn what that core engagement feels like. You know what I'm talking about. And the only way I can describe it is if I'm in Tesco's and I'm pushing my shopping trolley,

I use my core to kind of hold onto the trolley instead of my shoulders and my back. Yeah. You know, and I feel like, and then once you know how to turn that on, you do it when you're lifting up the laundry, when you're picking up your kid, when you're lifting the shopping out of the boot.

like you're like oh that's what i'm using not not this you know so um but yeah yeah but Tony's a rock star man like i could shout at him for all day every day he's like yeah well like that that kind that kind of a weight loss transformation is literally life changing like it's insane and like you said like the weight loss is just a byproduct it's everything that comes from that you know the quality of life um so obviously you're a busy mum you're self-employed for for mums who might be listening to this, you know, who have to look after the household, have a full-time job. And on top of that, need to get on top of their health and fitness goals. Yeah.

Might be in pain as well. And they're obviously, you know, with all these things combined and makes it very difficult to be motivated to do that training session or whatever it is. What advice would you have for them and moms? I think moms are really selfless. the first thing that they will jack in is themselves. The first thing that they will cut back on or they won't do is anything around their health and fitness. They will take their kid to that football game for an hour and a half on a Sunday,

but they won't get up and do 20 minutes on the map, you know, because of time and priorities and being busy. So, yeah, I think like there's kind of maybe kind of three things that I would definitely say go and do. One is, you know, if you're struggling with motivation and struggling with prioritising yourself or the guilt of prioritising yourself, get a coach. get a coach, get an accountability coach, get a PT, someone that, you know, is educated and experiencing in you as a person in terms of other moms, I think it's really unrealistic to, you know, jump on someone on Instagram who works, you know, with, you know, money transformations and like, it doesn't really get the struggles of being a busy mom. Doesn't get like, you know, well, I can't do that because I do have to, I do have children in the house. I can't just leave them. I can't go and. You know, so it's kind of getting someone that gets you.

And like I give a shit what my PT thinks. Like, you know, it's not about pleasing him, but I give a shit. I want, I don't want him to think I'm, you know, whipping out or something. There's buying and respect. Correct. Yes. Yeah. Bion in respect and kind of like, yeah, trusting.

And being consistent with that. It's really hard to be consistent when your kids' timetables and their social life is busy than your own. So I feel like having a PT or having an accountability as your coach helps you with consistency. Second thing I would do and what I teach my clients to do is like we map out their routine. We map out their week. And we talk about, I'm sure other coaches call it different things, but I called it like sand, pebbles and hard rocks. We work out what's the hard rocks?

What are the things in your week that you cannot move? Like for love or money, if Jesus came down today and said like, you must be this, no, sorry I can't, you know? and we identify what that looks like in their days and in their weeks. And then around that we kind of think, okay, well, what's the stones? What's the pebbles? What's the slightly smaller rocks? But we can have a little bit of movement there. And I'm sorry, kids clubs and kids activities are not hard rocks.

They're not, they need to be a bit more flexible. You can say no. You can say no. And you sometimes you have to, you know. And then the sand, you know, what could you do sitting on the toilet? What could you do? Like instead of been on social media for an hour. in the evenings. What are the things that you could do around your hard rocks and your pebbles?

So, and I feel like having a visual representation of that and having an Excel sheet that kind of like shows you your timetable. I mean, being a next school teacher, that's kind of like what ticks me. That's kind of how I operate and how I manage everything. I think it's important to identify as well that I've got a son that's like type one diabetic and autistic. So like he's needs are like through the roof. And one of the reasons I was asking to come out of that year six year like when I used to be a teacher was I was missing out all the appointments for him and like his needs were coming out for picking fast so yeah I kind of you know had to make a change there and his priorities and his needs do come first there are times that I'll be teaching online and I'll say guys just let you know I'm sorry parents night if Benji's alarm goes off I'm off you know so you know there's that priority in terms of a medical need but like you know if he wants to go I don't know jihitsu on Thursday at half past five can someone else take him if not I'm too busy sorry Benji's you're having this week. Yeah. So yeah, I think yeah, the second thing is working at the timetable what works for you. Um, getting a coach, getting a PT. And I think third thing is, yes, we work on

our back and yes, we work on our spine health. But like I've said before, I've worked on my mindset and my, my approach to things massively. And I think what I would have used to being guilty and what I used to have been feeling dread about, like, and, and that mum guilt that comes like, because everyone on social media is just such an amazing. in mum, right? I've just fucked that off and don't really care anymore. How do you get to that stage? How do I get to that stage? Again, just taking that action. Doing it once, I'm realizing it wasn't that bad. The child didn't die, you know, he's not now going to be the talk of the school because he missed out on that birthday party, you know? Or like,

you know, ask, I won't wait for my family to offer support. I will say, dude, I need you my brother, I need you to go and take vengeance of Julietia, so can you do it? Yes, I can. You know, being good at delegating. Delegating, people are not mind readers, like you don't need to be asked. I have a partner and I don't fix everything. If it's his, you know, if I say to him, you're doing swimming Monday night, you're doing swimming.

If you can't do it, that's on you. I ain't going to pick up your shit. And I think, yeah, I think getting to that point is difficult. It has been practice. It has been, um, it has been a bit of a journey, but I do wholeheartedly believe that like as I lost weight and become stronger and my mindset became stronger and I became more confident in myself,

my attitude to these other things in life also changed. I've got, I've got women on my group that were saying they've had like grievances and issues in their workplace. But since kind of taken respect and pride in their body and in like in how they're trying to help themselves in their back pain, it's massively amplified, like, their confidence in dealing with everyday life. It makes perfect sense. It's so, like, you know, it's the whole package.

You're doing something for you. Therefore, you start to create this self-respect. Therefore, it makes it easier to do more things that is actually respecting yourself and respecting your boundaries, maybe. Yeah, yeah. And I think the more you show up for yourself and do the things you say you're going to do, the more that you can rely on yourself the more you can back yourself up.

I had this conversation with someone do their day and I realised this is why that it's so difficult for people to invest in themselves who don't respect themselves or don't have, you know, or low in confidence and low self-esteem because they find it difficult to be like, okay, why am I worthy to spend this amount of money

on my health and fitness goals? And I'm like, I'm not one that's like, oh, you need to go and spend hundreds on your health and fitness goals. Like, whether that's you buying a 20 quid program that you've never bought before like that's still you invest in yourself whether that's you spending 200 a month on yourself whether that's whatever it is but it's the people that um that aren't haven't done the actions to give themselves that self-respect they kind of get stuck in this almost slump of you know oh i'm not oh i i i can't take that hour

out for myself oh i can't be spending that money on myself oh i can't you know take that time off for myself. I'm not worthy of it. I don't deserve it. Even if they don't say them things out loud, that's what they probably think in their head. Yeah. Yeah. And that's a hard place to be in. And I think, you know, if it all seems a bit too overwhelming to like all these, all these other things like finance, time out, action, like, you know, then maybe like is there a, you know, if we can't afford an accountability coach, we can't afford a coach at PT, you know, do we have a friend that can, like you can have this conversation with that can actually, because in your own head, you can be very negative about yourself and you can put yourself down and you can kind of like,

yeah, feel like you're in this slum. And it's almost like you need someone a bit more objective to pull you out of it or someone a bit more objective to be like, well, actually, let's look at the things that you have done. Let's focus on, you know, I'll do a checking with one of my clients and it'll be like, you know, zero, zero, zero, zero. What have you done this week to, you know, zero zero. And I'm like, well, let's think about what you have done. Let's celebrate and let's focus and let's highlight the things that you have done. Every Sunday I'll ask my team for their Sunday wins. Just one thing in the week that they're proud of.

And they'll be like, oh, I haven't done anything I'm proud of. Are you shitting me? Like, you've got two kids. You're not proud of doing anything this week. Like, come on. So I think, you know, we've talked before about, like, journaling. We've talked before about the practice of putting pen to paper. If you don't want to speak to someone about it, then speak to yourself.

Write it down. But I think it's, yeah, having a bit of a practice of, you know, what's the three things I've done this month that I'm proud of? Starting there, you know? And if it's something like, okay, well, my friend was feeling pretty shitty, you know, and gave her some support. Okay, well, if that fed your cup of that, that made you feel good, let's do it again. You know, if you're proud that you managed to walk down to town instead of taking the bus.

Okay, well, that felt good. Let's do it again. like repeating those actionable task that gave you that gave you kind of feedback that gave you kind of like you know a bit of joy yeah it literally changes your whole uh physiology just like even writing down them wins and just being like oh well actually you know i did do something well this week i did accomplish something and like you know that starts to you even see how people hold themselves they hold themselves a little bit different because they're not in that kind of negativity spiral and they're like okay i have i'm just Just even to touch on that investment point. Even investment doesn't even have to be finance as well. Investment can be just like you said, taking time for yourself, saying to the partner that you're taking the kids or getting a brother or sister at health. And like having the self-esteem and self-respect to say,

this is my hour because I need to take some time for myself. So I can show up as the best person that I possibly can. And it could start with that. And then it could start with then maybe a coach down the line. once you start to build a bit of momentum. Another thing that I wanted to talk to you about is, is your back surgery and any advice for people who, you know, might have gone through a big surgery,

you might be gone through a big injury and, you know, it's stopped them in their tracks. And again, that can be difficult mentally to kind of, you know, again, pull yourself out of that and start building momentum again because you have been stopped in your tracks. Obviously, that's something that you've gone through recently. What advice would you have to people who might be in a similar situation? Yeah, so I've had two back surgeries now and I think in those two times I was a very different

person. So, you know, I feel like I've learnt the mistakes from the first one. I've really implemented them in the second one. A little bit of advice is don't do what I did the first time and just sit and be scared to move. If anything, like you need to prepare for battle. You need to strengthen yourself so that you are ready on the other side. Surgery should be a last option and I'm sure your consultant will tell you that. There are other options beforehand. If you are having issues with a slip disk or any kind of like issues around the lower back, then, you know, there are other options you can take in terms of several injections, cause an injections, physiotherapy. You know, you want to go for a non-invasive. That would be, you know, my kind of like, do that first, you know.

But yeah, the prehab is really important. When I had the back surgery, the next day, I was still in a hospital, I signed up to climb Snowden in June because I needed a mental goal. I needed something to work towards. Well, that's the thing. People, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the mental side of anything like that that's really then impacting people the most. Yep. Yeah. And but it's, no, and I think that was realistic. I think six, seven months to walk up a mountain, no problem, fine, you know. Um, but I think the first time what I did was expect to be back to work teaching dance in three weeks. No. you know, I set myself up for failure. You know, I walked into that studio and I felt shit.

You know, and I should have taken that rehab after the surgery a lot more carefully, a lot more seriously, you know, oh, great, no more pain now. Let me try this out. Oh, I can't actually touch my knees. So, yeah, I think it's kind of setting up a realistic goal, doing the pre-have. Doing the rehab, of course. Like your consultant will give you exercises to do. do them. I think I did like mine every hour. Can I ask you a question just from the contrast from

the first to the second surgery. Did you find that you were more engaged in the rehab on the second one? 100%. Yeah. In the first one, it was almost like, oh, I'm fixed now. I wasn't in pain. The pain was gone. But I was kind of, I settled. I settled for all my flexibility is a bit shit, but that's all right. I've just going to be a school teacher. I don't have to dance anymore. You know, and then like I just kind of accepted that this was going to be life now, like, accepted that there was just things that I wouldn't be able to do. Like, I don't know where my brain's just gone here, but I'll say it anyway, like, you know, in the bedroom department or like, you know, like just, um, roller coaster rights. No, I can't do that. I got back, sorry.

You know, like it was just like accepting that that was just going to be life now. But I feel like, no, fuck it. That can't be the way anymore. And yes, there are precautions that I do take. And, you know, but I'm going Disneyland next year. Like, I'm not going to wait and sit around to get old. You know, I'm going to go get life. And that's kind of, I feel very passionate about that.

And I think it's a real shame when my busy moms really lack of the confidence to get after it, you know? Like, it sounds even, it contrasts from the first to the second one, right? You're like in terms of mental resilience, you're looking forward to what you are going to do, whether that's, you know, a climbing a mountain, whether it's going to Disneyland. It's like all these things that I'm going to do.

Where a lot of the time then people are in pain or something happens to them. And then they get, they get caught in this kind of negativity spiral that they kind of can't jump out of. And because you're in that, you can't actually take action because you, you're just deep in them thoughts, which immobilizes you essentially. Yeah, yeah, 100%. And again, it comes back to that a vicious circle thing, doesn't it?

But, you know, I think, I have no shame in saying, like, you know, in the second surgery, I did invest heavily into time and money into my mindset and my attitude and, like, how to properly goal set and how to, like, really focus on developing my mental resilience I think that's the word, you know, because that comes first before the body. That has to be the decision-making process. The body follows. Yeah. And then I find that there's also something else that happens.

You know, you start to work out, you start to do the Pilates, you're on for a good few months, you're feeling good, you're losing weight. The back pain's gone, hurrah. And then you become comfortable and then you become busy again. And then you start to kind of reduce your workouts to twice, maybe just once a week. And then you start with, oh, gosh, my back's starting to feel bad again. Oh, I must get back onto it. You know, there's this other cycle that happens. And my clients come and go.

And some of them are more reactive than being proactive. But I think having a child like Benji that's type 1 diabetic and autistic and autistic, like I don't have time to be reactive. I have to be proactive. I have to be the best version of myself so that I can care for him and be the best number of possibly can. Well, I think that goes to show that like it's important for everyone to be aware that there's no end date to this.

It's something that you have to constantly do. When you tell people that at the start, it's like, oh, geez, I have to do these things forever. But yeah, you do. Because even if you stop doing them now, you might not feel the effects of it now, but you'll feel the effects of it,

maybe three months, six months, nine months a year down the line. And it's more about doing them things. So you have a good quality of life all the time or as much as possible. Absolutely. I feel like if you don't have someone like Benji in your life that you have to kind of keep alive. And that's a great motivator. Then, you know, we talk a lot about kind of like setting a performance related goal.

So, you know, I'm sure you won't mind me saying, but Tony, my guy that lost 50K, G, he's climbing, not Snowden. There's another mountain in Wales. What's it called? Penhapen, Penn something. Yeah, he's doing like a massive hike end of August that he's had in the diary for some time now with his son, you know, like. And that would just not have been on the cards year and a half ago that he was using a walking stick to walk. So, you know, I think setting up a performance-related target like that definitely helps because that date is set in stone. That's not going to move anywhere.

You'll probably tell your friends and family about it. You're accountable to that. You know, by all means, chuck another bit more accountability in there and raise money for charity. Like, you know, if you're struggling to find the motivation, then that would be a really good idea. The them kind of things are really good to keep you engaged because, you know, it is, okay, either I do this or I don't and people don't like to fail. No. No, no, no.

They don't like to fail. They don't like other people seeing that they're failing. Yeah, yeah. So if you can put yourself in that situation where it's like, oh, I'm going to fail. If I don't do the work and prepare myself for this, I'm going to fail in front of other people. And usually when people put themselves in that situation, they don't fail. No, that's a lot more powerful, isn't it? Yeah.

A lot more powerful. Here's a question for you. So how can people enjoy the journey more if they're not where they want to be? Because I presume like it's a slow process for a lot of your clients. It's a bit of a slog. It's like we just spoke about you have to manage your expectations. You have to start small. But again, like it's in our nature to want it straight away,

to want the result of the straightway, to want to feel better straight away. So how can you help these people to stay engaged and actually, enjoy where they're at even if they're not where they want to be yet yeah i think um having kind of like short like kind of short term rewards is like i know it sounds really fickle but i'm massively positive reinforcement like i won't do something unless i'm there's a something in it for me or there's like you know what's the reward for me what like how am i going to kind of like feel good about this um so yeah short term rewards so Things like, well, you know, if I do have, if I am in a better place with my back in three months' time, then I can do that road trip. I can sit in the car for six hours. You know, that's that reward, isn't it, right? It could be shorter term than that. It could be, I don't know, like, yeah, short term rewards. I'm trying to think, da-da-da-da-da, what have I got coming up? It's August. So, yeah, September. I am.

doing like a we're doing like a 5k walk in my little elite group and for some people that'll be quite a lot um but you know we're up in the steps now that knowing that in four or five weeks time you're going to be doing it in a group of people you know so you might not enjoy the walk out tomorrow in the rain but you're going to really enjoy that walk on the 5k and the picture on social media of you on my platform um you know when you've finished it you've celebrated it you know um what else I was something else I was going to say. I can't remember now. Short term reward.

Ah, no, it's gone. It's gone. I got another question for you. So you said that you started doing this. You started working with clients and the plaides. Was it four years ago, five years ago? Yeah, during COVID. Yeah.

So if you were to start again, if you were to start this career again, what would you do differently? Oh, my gosh. I don't think I would have wasted so much time being a school teacher. I do think, like, being head of dance at a college, massively gave me physical and kind of social and emotional skills that I probably am transferring into like I am now. But yeah, I tried so hard to fit in. I tried so hard to, you know, be good at a job

that just didn't want me. You know, and I swear too much and I'm a bit spiky so maybe a primary school teacher wasn't the one for me, you know. And but no, in terms of Pilates, I think, you know, more recently in the past year, like I've started to make great, uh, make, great connections and reach out to like other people in the industry and that has just been like massively elevating like um on name dropper like faye edwards she's on like davina mccles apps like she is like she's like my my miss is from another mother at the moment like yeah just making a connection with her on instagram and then like meeting up and then like doing things in person i've been to i beef her and yoga fit with her um done a few a bit of work with her jots and digital

like we do like on demand content for like gyms and asia and stuff like you know having those connections and me and people like yourself, Carl, like, I would have done it earlier. I feel like in the first kind of year coming out of COVID, you know, there was, you know, I'm, I'm this person and I'm this small and this is all I can do within Pilates. Like, you know, it's really dirty to talk about weight loss and Pilates. All the, you're like, authentic and old school polites teachers would be like, no, darling, don't be silly. You're like, how dare I play music while I'm doing Pilates? that's just unheard of you know and once a year we get pissed up while we do Pilates oh how dare you like you like it's very i find it quite snobby i find it quite snobberish and i feel like how i'm talking to you now

is how i teach and like in the first year i tried i tried to be like and lengthen and breathe and relax and put on this voice you know and uh it ain't it's not me i'm not that's not authentic me so I just would have been a bit more authentic earlier on. I would have maybe made more connections earlier on. I would have maybe asked for more advice earlier on. You know, when I first started, I was like, oh, like I haven't come across this condition before. Who does?

Oh, let me reach out to that person. Rather than just saying, oh, no, sorry, I can't help you. You know, like just being a bit more kind of, I think that comes of experience and that can't be. Yeah, I think all of them things come with experience and confidence in yourself, because I don't think anyone, when they first started off, everyone's trying to find their feet of who they are in their career

and then be more confident you get, your personality just automatically comes out then. Yeah, absolutely. And I'm not ashamed to say, yeah, doing polities, help me lose loads of weight. Like, you know, and there'll be so many politeness you just like hate on me and I'll probably get loads of shit for it. But I don't care.

It's there. It's on the Instagram. Have a look. Well, I mean, just like you even touched on, like, okay, if someone is overweight and, you know, it's it's preventing them from actually being able to even enjoy exercise like it's a massive part of it exactly and I think like a bit like we's Pilates is the gateway drug yeah yeah it's the gateway drug yes you know you won't you won't lose masses amount weight just doing Pilates but it is

the gateway to being healthier and being more active especially if you know you've got a bad back and you can't do burpees and 10k runs and high impact exercise size. Yeah, I think it's it's the perfect combination and I haven't seen anyone else market it like that, which is actually crazy. Going back onto

you spoke about leave, you would have left your job earlier. So let's say there's someone out there listening to this and, you know, they're quite deflated in their job. They really don't like it. You know, they don't like and they want to leave, but they're

comfortable enough that there's staying in the job. What advice would you have for someone like that who was almost comfortably numb? Yeah, that's that's a really sad place to be in and unfortunately many people are in that position because we've all got rent and mortgages to pay for them. We've all got bills coming out of our ass, right? But I would advise that you take up a bit of a side hustle, you dip your toe in the water and you try it. And if it brings you joy and if your mind is the first thing, you think about in the morning, the last thing you think about it at a night, then it has to be the way forward. You have to make it work in one way or another. And I think, yeah, I was, you know, yes,

I had a husband that was also having had a good job, but I just took that dive. I just, I just had to I was pushed into that dive. Makes sense. And like, I think that because like you said that a lot of the time it's, okay, the voice is in the head that, oh, I'd love to leave this job, but I have, you know, this mortgage to pay, this rent to pay. I have responsibilities. So even if it's not, okay, literally, you know, go all in on something, being able to turn that into your side hustle. Yeah. I mean, I've got a client at the moment. I won't name it up because, you know, work and stuff.

But like, she, you know, she's not very happy in her day job. And she does love to teach, I'll say, like kind of boxercise and boxing classes for women. So she is now doing that, like twice a week. And she did qualify last year as a boxing coach. So, you know, and she's using. some of her kind of like time in work to kind of think and consider in her lunch breaks and stuff like, you know, how can I make this, this part of joy that I have in the evenings twice a week? How can I do that more?

How can, you know, and credit to her. She's, you know, she said last year she was going to do it and she's doing it now. So, yeah, dip your turn in the water and give it a try. Like weekend, evening. Yeah. And this also goes back to what you touched on earlier, the fact that, okay, when, when, you see your clients that they're, you know, taking time out for themselves. They're, you know, prioritizing themselves.

They're eating better. They're training. You said that, you know, you could see even in work, they're bold enough to go for that promotion or to stand up for themselves or to set boundaries. Like, it might even be, you know, okay, that person doesn't want to leave the job that they hate right now because they don't have the confidence or the self-esteem to leave it. but even by, you know, investing in themselves, whatever that looks like, financial time, to become a stronger, more confident version of themselves,

then that can ripple into also their, not just their fitness and their health improving, but also having the confidence to improve other aspects of their life, like maybe their career. Yeah, absolutely. I think there's something powerful in, like, identifying what you can say yes to and what you have to say no to. Yeah. Like, you know, and I think a lot of my busy moms, you know, they will say yes to everything. They will help everyone.

They will look after everyone's child. They will, you know, it's a yes, yes, yes, yes, everything. And unfortunately, we all have that certain amount of time in the day. Like, we all have the same time restraints like you can't say yes to everything. You're going to have to say no to other things to prioritize what does help, what does bring you joy, what is the right path for you. And you know it. You've got a gut feeling like what is.

is good for you in your soul. And yeah, I think it's having the confidence to say no to some things and saying yes to others. And the first time you say no, it will feel spiking, it will feel awkward. The second time it'll feel easier.

The third time will be even easier. The fourth time you'll be like, watch off a duck's back. So, yeah, unfortunately, action. Action will breed all them things, especially stopping you from being a people's laser. Yeah, yeah, and many people are. Many people are.

Kimmy, this has been unbelievable. Let's say someone's listening to this and they think that would be right up my street. I'm in pain at the moment. I need help. I need accountability. Where can they reach out to either ask you a question or to inquire about your services? Where can they find you? Yeah, just on Instagram.

So Pilate is called UK. Just drop me your DM. I've got an email address as well. I'm also a bit of an open book. Like, you know, if you want a question, I'll answer the question for you. No problem at all. Yeah, just on Instagram is no problem. Kimmy, this has been unbelievable.

Thank you so much for your time today. Thanks for watching. If you like that episode and you want to see more content like this, make sure you're subscribed and I'll see you on the next one.