The Uneducated PT Podcast - #56 Tayloredbody coach - Paul Taylor

Episode Date: November 2, 2024

In this episode of the Uneduated PT Podcast we speak to Paul Taylor a fitness trainer for wales. Expect to learn about commitment to yourself, fear of failure, self acceptance, connecting the dots of the past, mens mental health and much more. 

Hello and welcome to the uneducated PT podcast with me, your host, Carlo Rock. The goal of this podcast is to bring on interest and knowledgeable people from all walks of life, learn a little something from each conversation and for you, the listener, just learn something from each episode. So don't forget to subscribe to the channel, press the box below, show some support and I'll see you on the next episode. Paul, welcome to the uneducated PT podcast, and it's a pleasure to have you on. Thanks, you've invited me, mate.

I couldn't believe it. I said, wind up. It's about time that I got a man with an accent of yours on, you know what I mean? Just for the wider audience. Yeah, get those subtitles going, buddy. For the listeners, will you just tell them a little bit about yourself, like how long you've been working in the fitness industry, what got you into, all that stuff?

So it's been a lengthy process. It's been many years coming. So back at the age of 21, which was 22 years ago, that's what I wanted to pursue but I've been a steel worker all my life and back then it was a case of you had to go to college to get this type of qualifications or you know so it's a case of jacking in the job

you know I'm going and pursuing you know the qualifications needed to be a nutritionist or a sports scientist or whatever but many years later after I had kids it was probably the wrong time of life to go after it. I had a bit of a spate of like

mental health dealing with stress, anxiety and things like that. And I had some time off work and I thought I'll bug it and just and I go and I follow my, you know, what my passion is and I'm going to get a nutrition qualification.

So that's why I went out and got like a level four with BTN Academy. Yeah? Yeah. I'm trying to remember. And then I just on the back of that and the best thing about it was that I still work full time

so I'm only a part-time coach and I have been now for just over three years I've been coaching I suppose while I was doing my learnings for four years but in a way

I've been coaching for far longer as well whether it's been in sport and you know what I mean I've been involved with coaching of some kind so yeah that's basically my background in coaching I was just about to say today I was a metal sheet worker there for a good couple of months

yeah the hard the most demanding job that physically demand the job that I've had of all well I was in the army as well but metal sheet worker just kind of bend and steel and stuff like that all day yeah that's that's graft that is yeah that's real graft I would tell you I didn't want to go to the gym after doing a hard day's work

No, no, no, no chance no. So I was like working shifts. We were producing steel in it. And at the moment, it's going through a bit of upheaval. They're making us all redundant and they're closing. Well, the iron side of the side of thing. So the making of steel has ceased now since a fortnight ago. So there'd be no more steel being processed in Patalbert.

yes and what you've got you've disappeared there's something going on yet you still yeah yeah yeah um so uh yeah it's uh it's a bit of a tough time uh at home of the minute so so what do you want to do going forward would you like to go into to coaching full time yeah coaching full time that's the plan so what what made you uh want to get it like what made you want to go and doing a uh and nutrition uh course uh through all this like did you have a background in sport was it that you were training at the time? Like what made you pursue what made you pursue this while still working your full-time job?

So I think exactly that really. It was a lot for sports since I was a kid just, you know, hand up for everything very competitive, still am. So I've signed up for 90 Rocks and I plan on winning. Where are you doing it? Yeah, I'm doing it in Birmingham now. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's only a couple of weeks ago or weeks away, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, then no prepared. for it. Mine of just going to rock up and win. Bull bells. So, yeah, it's a background in that. And then my life kind of changed when I started my apprenticeship. And then in 2001, I started working full time on shifts. I met my missus.

That's Welsh for wife. No worry. The Irish, the Irish listeners will know exactly what you made. so I met Mel and kind of I put sport to one side for like a season so with shifts and then having

I know a new girlfriend and things they got at the time it was I put sport on a back burner and I've always been very active and I just smashed on the pounds like so I put on quite a bit of weight so I was like you know at 12 and a half stone outside half and then all of a sudden

I'm like a 15 and a half stone guy walking around not feeling great not I wouldn't say I was like seriously overweight I'm pretty tall I got carry it like but just started to get really unwell

I was having really bad headaches and things like that and I gotta be honest you I never enjoyed gym training and I was like in that era it was if you were playing or training in that area especially around South Wales

and the valleys there was a lot of like steroid abuse going on and things so a lot of the boys were doing that and it just wasn't my scene even though they were good friends of mine I played rugby with them and were avi it just was just something I was like

I even used to think like protein was like I wouldn't drink protein because it was like a steroid on creatine no chance like you know but yeah so there was that type of I had that type of belief then then

but with this ill health the doctor said look you can't just stop doing what you've been doing for years that's what's happened you've had a change so the doctor was saying what I would say is a coach now you've had a massive change and that was way back then

so a bit of early his time I'd say so it was like your lifestyle's completely changed like overnight and that's why you're feeling the way you are that's why you've put on so much weight that's why you're having these spades of of your else like so he said

you need to go back to play sports and like get in the gym why didn't why do you try the gym like and that's what I did I just I just fell in love with it because I think I'd put on that much size I was eating like a 15 stone man so I was in quite a significant

calorie you know surplus and I probably was for many years it's just I was you could get away would it yeah because I was more active and I wasn't working shifts I wasn't sleeping all day and like you don't realise those little things

you know they make a big difference over a period of time so yeah just started the gym seeing a massive changing my physique started to build a lot of muscle and like I went from 15 stone of being kind of almost like shapelessness

I suppose I had scrawny arms and had a bit of a belly coming I weren't feeling self-conscious about it on anything like that but as soon as I started seeing I get I had shoulder development

and all that and I thought got into kind of like the body building thing so it was a case of you know Muslim fitness magazine and men's health

and stuff and I was just right I was into it and that was that like and that's what led to it then that's what led to my interesting

nutrition into training into I suppose like bodybuilding I suppose not that I was trying to get like stage

It wasn't, it wasn't the thing, like a photo shoot wasn't a thing back then. And like bodybuilders were kind of, you know, it wasn't for everyone back then. Whereas now you've got multiple categories and things like that. It was still like an older generation of bodybuilders. Like, I'm offing on a bit here. No, no, no, no. I was just listening and I thought that was really interesting. I think a point that I took there were, I think a lot of listeners would probably relate

because a lot of them would be kind of, a lot of the people that would listen to this might be kind of in their 30s and just kind of stop in sport for the first time in their lives, whether they're playing rugby or football or whatever it is, you know, I mean life kind of gets in the way and they have to kind of give one thing up. And like, I know so many of my friends as well who have stopped playing sport

and then they just noticed the way completely piles on because, you know, their energy expenditure has been so high for so long that, again, you can get away with almost, I want to say eating what you want, buff to a degree. It is kind of eating what you want. I've got a... Of getting away with something.

It's just you don't, without realising, your lifestyle change, but you're eating patterns are still similar. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it's not a case of, you know,

you've getting away with it. It's just you've, you've worked for so many years and develop the eating arbiter you have around the environment and the conditions that you put your body through and things.

And then, then that thing changes whether you have kids, whether your shift pattern changes, you know, priorities change. And your hunger levels and everything else, your food decisions, your choices, all kind of probably stay similar. You don't adjust them.

Do you think that, you know, the way you said that you didn't really have a love for the gym beforehand when you were still playing sport, but the second time around, after you probably gained a little bit of size and then you had that outlet of the gym to focus on and you're probably seeing results

probably quite rapidly as well did you think that gave you the motivation to kind of stick at it and then fell in love with the process yeah definitely yeah I'd say yeah it was a big motivation to see that that instant change

like we're talking over a couple of weeks and like I was able to throw everything into it as well so I was still living with my mom. I had, like I said, I'd met my wife. I was working shifts, so I had all day,

I was working long shifts, but they were unsociable hours. So I had all day to be able to go to gym. So I was training, I had a good routine going. So I was training my four days off. I was training at quiet times a day. I was able to train it at minimum five times a week. And that's what, that's what,

got, you know, that development so quickly. And it was a case of, I put on so much muscle mass in a short period of time that people would say, no, you're definitely on the, on the, on the, on the, on the

pads like, there's no way you can't, you can't be, but. Is it not always a compliment though? But at the time, you're trying to deny it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be worse if you were on it and people were saying, now you don't look like you're honest.

That would hurt. Yeah, definitely. But yeah, I think that was the case. It was, yeah, that was a big motivator because it's genetic as well in it. You know what I mean? It's not some

some people do have to work hard and they're not going to get that aesthetic look. And that's what I've learned working with my clients is and try to get them to understand it. You can't like bring a photo like you would like I do to my barber

take a thought of you know this is this is the haircut that I want and you do get it you get some you know people come in for consultations yeah and say can you make me look like that and you you're gonna try and explain

that it's a mixture of a lot of different things to get you to that place like and yeah it's just everyone's different in it like you've got some people going to run marathons just take to run and take that swim I swam a lot of my early life as well. So, you know, and I was, I was fairly competitive at it.

So, yeah, a lot of it is, like, say, is to do with genetics. I'm being fortunate enough to be able to pursue things that you are, you know, you good at. Do you know what I like? The fact that you're a coach, but you also kind of can understand the difficulties of trying to balance, let's say, you know, work and shift work having a home life having a partner all these things and it can make it difficult to um you know for a general population client to be able to stick at something at their health and fitness routine or if they're you know trying to implement new habits like it's difficult because the gym isn't their sole life have you noticed that because of the the way that you came into

coaching and the background you have in coaching it has made you kind of more empathetic to being able to understand people's, you know, realistic lives rather than, let's say, like a 17-year-old kid who just went straight into personal training and that's been their whole life and their whole identity and it's all they have to worry about. Yeah, definitely. I think knowing that, you know, I've, I've lived a life so far.

So I like to say, I've worked a regular job. You know what I mean? I've, I've had the kids. I've got married. I've got a house. I've got responsibilities. I got, you know, two dogs now. You know what I mean? And I realized that there is a sacrifice that needs to take place. And like when I was going through the stuff that you sent me, and I was like reflecting, it's easy for me to say, reflecting on things and thinking that it isn't, if you're pursuing something and you want to achieve something, then you, and you, you're we banned about about being in a you know you need a balance it's all about balance all about

balance and and it's never about balance um i think we strive for balance but there's always you've always got a sacrifice in order to to focus yeah you have to focus in an area and something else have to fall off something something has to fall by the wayside so you have to sacrifice something in order to achieve something um and and that's the case for me so like I'm sacrificing my at the moment because I'm in that process of you know becoming a full-time coach and waiting on that redundancy I've got that goal I've got that um that focus and and drive towards that so I'm willing to sacrifice my at the moment it seems to be my sleep in order to get my own fitness I know yeah own fitness in summer but 20 past 4 in the morning

I'll train then five till six I'll have clients six till seven then I'll go into work I work my an eight hour shift so I'll do my eight hours I'm working days at the moment and then I'll leave there

and then I'll go back to the gym for five o'clock and prepare for my clients at six and then seven on top of that I'm working for a good friend of mine as part of his physio he's like a private physio practice

Yeah. So I'm doing that. I'm trying to learn then S&C around people with, like, life-changing injuries and things. And I also do nutrition, coaching,

you know, virtual and, like, calls like this, to, with those patients. So you're talking about guys who were, you know, really struggling at having had life turned upside down

because of a catastrophic, drinking accident, like, and not only affects them, it affects the families. You know, they're limited in the physically and often, you know, neurologically, like, so I'm, like I say, I'm in a short period of time and living the life that I have lived. I've got quite a lot of experience. I don't know blow smoke. No, no, no. but yeah I think I've got that

that in the background but I'd love to be again on the other hand someone who's like 70 new to it naive you know getting into it and they're just not worried not awake at night because you know something that their client is dealing with do you know I mean I've I've been had sleepless nights where I've had you know clients that perhaps aren't seeing results on it it may be something going on

whether it's in the life, home, life, work, life, whatever. And it does, it plays on me and whether someone, I'm not saying that the Semptino wouldn't be empathetic, but I'm just saying, having experienced it, I feel I might be a little bit more

and, you know, empathetic then to, to that type of... You're probably more inclined to be able to relate because, like you said, there is life experience there. There is obviously like exceptional young people who can't have that emotional intelligence, but I can tell you from now it wasn't me at 17 anyway.

So can I ask you a question then, Paul? So like what are the type of issues that your clients would have when they come to seek out help with you? Yeah. So it's often with most coaches that imagine, it's confidence, it's that self-esteem, it's body image and it. so it's coming with those type of things. And like say, when I work with then the patients from the physio practice, then that's a different thing again. But yeah, I suppose if we just focus on the type of client,

then yeah, it's usually, they come with, you know, I want to lose a bit of weight. I want to tone up. They use the same, you know, things. Very few that come in and say, I don't want to lose weight or, you know, anything like that. but it often boils down to like body image and and feeling you know feeling better about themselves. Yeah.

Yeah. So what would you say are some of the common mistakes they make that you have to almost coach out of them that they stop making so that they can actually see success, whatever that looks like to them? Yeah. So it's typically body image. if I go back to the body image side of things that's often more to do with

not I suppose it's it's that the it's their emotions in the time of you know imagine these people say yet

then I feel ugly I feel fat I feel fat and say I have a quote from you that I actually wrote down so it was like you spoke about feeling fat often has less to do with our actual body size

and more to do with our emotional state and self perfection. So yeah, is that something? Can you explain that a little bit to the list? Yeah, that's exactly it for me. It's like, it's like, it's an emotional state that they might be in, they're feeling low down. There's something, other things going on in their lives

that they're not happy with, you know what I mean? There's a little bit of insecurity or whatever going on. But when they say, I'm feeling fat, they're feeling low about themselves. But I think, but what I'm saying in that post is like, if you, keep repeating those words to yourself

you're when to start believing it do you know what I mean so if you're saying or I'm fat I feel like glee you know look at the state on me it's all this is doing is building that belief that that self-talk is is not helping you in that moment like so

it's about digging deep and that's what I try to do with my clients is is like peel back the layers ask the questions try and get you know layer but it may take it may take one session, it may take 10, 12 sessions

but over time we just strip, strip back, strip back, strip back and find out, you know, where it is we can, you know, what are they dealing with, how can we overcome that and not answering the questions or

what have you, but I'm trying to solve their problems. I think that's one thing that we try and do too much, is trying to, as coaches, trying to solve the client's problem I don't think we're capable of solving anyone's problem. So it's about asking those questions and leading them to find a solution for themselves.

So that's what I would do. Yeah, create that awareness for them to be like, okay, do I actually need to lose weight or is it just that I just feel a certain way? I don't feel good enough at the moment or I'm feeling lonely at the moment and now I'm trying to control that emotion by saying that,

you know, now I'm 70 kilos on the scales. Now that means I'm worthy of love or I'm worthy of whatever the case may be. And I think, yeah, I think we attach, I think we attach body image to that and we do as coaches as well. So as coaches, if someone comes to us so we have got a body image issue.

I think we instantly think, well, we need to get you to a certain body composition and that body image thing will be solved. And that, you know from experience, that's not the case. You know, I don't think it matters what the body composition is because they typically look back at a body composition. They were unhappy in, you know, five, six years ago. And remember, if they actually went back to that moment,

they were probably unhappy with that body. miserable, yeah. Do you think that's a misconception that people think that they can fix their body image issues by looking a certain way when, in fact, it's actually how you feel rather than how you look. Definitely. It's got to be, it's got a lot, it's a lot deeper.

And I think, I think it's, it's, it's, it, you can't just blanket say that. A body composition is going to relate to a, a, uh, a body positivity or, you know, a feeling of, of positive body image just because, you know, you, you can, perhaps you, you, you lean and perhaps you can see your six pack, perhaps you can, you know, you know, you know, you know, I mean. Yeah. And I think by not solving that, it creates issues in other ways. It can lead to other things.

It can lead to further problems. We're not addressing the complete issue there. But as said, it's not, that's not for every. That's not everyone. I wouldn't treat every single, it's a case by case. How can you, how can you kind of spot that as a coach? Like, how can you spot that? okay, this person actually,

the problem isn't that this person needs to build more muscle or lose more body fat. The problem is this person actually is looking for validation because they are full of self-hatred or just not, you know, content or comfortable in their skin. And that's the real issue rather than them actually needing to get, you know, leaner, you know, 7% body fat. like it's a difficult one to spot sometimes when a person might come to you and be like demand that you know I need to get into better shape and like you know you might be looking at that person like you're looking great shape to me do you know I see it I see it I see it time

and time again you know I see people you know clients come in and they they um or not not just clients but people perhaps have come and just at a consultation and I've not been for them like And I'm thinking, you know, you're dealing with something a lot deeper and I wish I could help you in that way, you know, but they need to, we need to have that. I do try and not convince them in the conversation, but try and lead it down that way, and that I'm perhaps the coach that can

or if I can point them in the right direction to another coach or whatever, I don't mind referring out. But, yeah, Going back, what was your question? How can you kind of spot that? That it's, this is an actual body composition change issue. This is a body image issue. This is like this person isn't going to feel better by being lean or this person needs to actually work internally.

I think it's like you say when they come in, you can almost recognize it. It's like an instinctive in a way. And through the questions and conversation, it leads you down that. that way so you know what what the beliefs are you know around health and fitness and where they are at the moment what you know what they what is they die what they are the relationships with food you know how many times have they tried to lose weight in the past or try to get lean how many how many PTs have they worked with before have they had bad experiences with other PTs have they had good experiences with other PTs how many times have they been on weight

broaches and, you know, yeah, it all, it all just puts together like a jigsop puzzle, I suppose. And I said, I'll only really tell over time if they choose to work with me. Because I've had many from, that have had bad experience with PTs, who, you know, in my opinion, it shouldn't even be, you know, should be struck off.

So I've, I've had that type of of client I've had clients that have you know had success with weight watchers and what's called slim to what they want to achieve

but clearly there's something a bit deeper and it's not just about losing the weight and again developed you know bad relationships with food and some that have that have come to me worked with me and gone back

without me knowing during the time and done like another sliming world thing and then I've just the conversation's got up and I'm like

you know everything and then we've had to you know and untangle all that again go over and discuss everything yeah so

you know I've experienced in the short period of time I've experienced some some you know mad stuff like

yeah I think I think there A really good point there is like you can, you can have them conversations with a client and you can explain that, okay, actually, you know, this isn't a weight issue and scale weight's probably not going to solve your problem

or going on another diet, it's probably not going to solve your problem. And you can say that to the client and you can say it multiple times in multiple different ways, but like it's not going to be just like a flick at a switch. Okay, because this coach has told me I'm instantly now understand it. It's like sometimes you have to kind of go through the process multiple times, make multiple mistakes. That's what I've seen with people anyway. And, you know, eventually, you know, the penny drops at some stage, hopefully with each person. One thing that I like to do, even if, okay, if it is someone that might be like preoccupied with losing weight or how they look or, you know, constantly trying to be on a diet and tracking their calories and, you know, trying to change how they look, but not really.

needed to change how to look more so change how they feel like even you know i think something even as simple as like trying to direct them more into performance based goals over aesthetic goals can like you got i can even have a huge impact over time is you know they start to get excited for hitting peebies or like you're doing like uh competing in a high rocks competition where you're focusing on you know functionality and what your what your body can do and like i think they're even like even if it's like not on the extreme end of, um, you know, body dysmorphia or something, but it's just someone might be coming, coming from a, a, a, a, a culture background, like, even implementing things like that, I've found, like, really effective. It's been effective for, for myself as well.

Definitely, definitely. Same. It's, um, it's, um, it's even just focusing on the simple things like movement patterns in a, in, you know, to a, to, doing a lunge, you know what I mean? And, and, and, and, and continuously, you know, say, in, are you making progress? Look at this. Look at the way you're moving here. Even tonight, my client now, you know, just doing back squats.

So we've been slowly building up, you know, from body weight to gobbler squat. And even throwing in five goblet squats and then trying five back squats, just making sure she gets up, that body position. And tonight it all came together. Like, and it was like that magical moment.

And you know, leave it, leaving on a highlight. So just, just even not this progress, more so than, you know, PBs and things they got. Just,

just movement in it, you know, and enjoy. That's a real satisfying thing, even as a personal trainer, isn't it, to be able to see someone's, like, mobility and depth

and improve and what that looks like in terms of longevity for that person in terms of functionality. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Like I've had people come in, you know,

hardly any, unable to do a lunge just you know I don't know what it looked like but being able to develop and like move you know

and maintain balance throughout the full you know exercise and people coming in with limited shoulder then say oh no I got you know I got stiff shoulders and all this stuff

but then over the weeks then you know being able to do you know a full range of motion with the hands you know, and it translates and into PBs, then it? Just being able to get that and being pain free, that's the main thing.

So having, you know, niggled and, like I say, it's usually shoulder joints and things they got lower back and things. And then all of a sudden, they come in early doors and every session, or my back is so, my, you know, my shoulders a bit sore.

And then over a period of time, all of a sudden, you're reminding them, oh, remember the last time you said, and it was like, you know, two months ago, like that. They actually started to forget how much pain they were in before.

Yeah, because I put them in so much pain, I think. So much pain elsewhere. But you know what? That's a really good point as well. And like, like you said, like when clients come into it,

you know, what they might say that they want it is weight loss. But what the, like, because that's just the generic answer that people say, right? Oh, I want to come in,

I want to lose some weight. But what they might really be saying is, oh, I don't want to be in pain. anymore. I want to be able to have quality of life, whether that looks like confidence in how I feel, but also, like, you know,

just being able to move freely and be being able to, you know, keep up with the kids or have that mobility and stuff like that. Like, they're all the, there are all the things about kind of functionality that we don't think about that also end up and proving someone's body image issues. I say, we take it so for granted.

Do you know what I mean? And I, I know I do in this and I remember when I first study coaching who was a case of I had, right, they got to get them to be able to, you know, deadlift with perfectly you know, flat back and, and hips back

and perfectly vertical shins and, and, and all and I was, I was, like, I was, I was, I was murder for it, like, it was a stickler and, like, I was trying to take a boot camp and things, and I, I would focus, I would, someone would catch my eye, not, I'm not having that, you know, and I'd be,

and I've learned to understand that, I've, provide when they're moving and they're not doing any harm, then that's fine. And yet, when I have that one-to-one time then, yeah, I'll address certain things and what have you, but I've also, you know, I've learned that it's not going to cause, you know, injuries, like a bit of a valgus knee isn't going to cause, you know, you know, they don't do it enough, but it'll cause an issue to them.

Like, we work on it over time, it improves and, you know, and that's how I like the coach. Do you think that's something that you've gained with experience is when you get, because I definitely noticed the exact same thing with me where I went from kind of, like being in a phase of coaching where it's like, didn't know anything about teaching form or technique,

then being really full on to then kind of relaxing about it with experience, understanding that, you know, all movement essentially is good movement and as long as they're not like, the load management is an extreme that they're going to injure them. themselves like you learn to understand that okay the most important thing is probably that they're actually getting in and moving their body and the mobility will come with that that's right yeah exactly right yeah that's the way I've gone and it's like because of my training over the years when I first

started training I thought I'm gonna be you know you do you you just want to be you want to be the best that I like don't you so I was like being very critical I wouldn't be you know you know overly critical but in mind I think this needs to be better I got a other PTs judging the way that my clients move. I mean, we've all been there. And I still think it's sometimes they're watching me a little bit. Better make sure she doesn't have a round back.

But yeah, so I'm thinking, I've still got these things and you're always aware of people judging you. And that's what makes you a better coach, I think, if you didn't give a monkeys, like. But, yeah, so, but I have eased a lot and, like, say, I will say, right, we'll, over there, we'll try this, try that.

But like, over the weeks, like this, I'll say, patient client this evening, it's been, it's probably, she's been to a third month now, and it's been gradual. And it's, everybody's different. Like, some will just nail a back squat. Like, they've always done it, and they've never done it before. And depth is there and everything like that. And then you've got others there.

perhaps, you know, their proper reception isn't quite there, but they still, like I say, they're still moving, they're getting two-way depth, you know what I mean, they're challenging themselves, they're building confidence and, and, yeah, we'll just work from where the client is at, like, and just trying, like I say, that PB will come with, perhaps a little bit of extra depth in a squat or something like that, you know, rather than just reps and weight and load like yeah it makes sense uh you had a post that said uh are you afraid to make commitment to yourself for fear of failing don't worry you're in good company uh so my question to you is how do you get over that fear of failing um and how can people break true from that and what

what's your experience with that just keep so just just just just keep failing like say you don't you don't truly fail unless you you you know you walk away from something i suppose isn't it and that's not necessarily you're always learning there's always an opportunity in each failing and I think over years it's experience over years of

failing and knowing it's not the end like it's not the be all and end all that you just approach it from another perspective and yeah that that it's it's building enough confidence

to understand that we all like a have just said to you, I've been quite open about it. Like, I still feel, well, this was, this was a scenario, what I felt that I could have been, you know, I had led myself down a bit. When we went to Lewis's,

when we met up in Manchester a couple of months ago for that seminar, I just felt, I, I'm not, I don't, I don't belong in this room. They were just that, I thought that there's coaches you're not just making the grade you know what I mean

and it made me I drove home and I was in a I was in a bit of a depressed state and I made a post about that as well if you go back in the time it just made me feel really an easy like but I know so experienced

by putting myself in that position and not and feeling that way it's only going to I know now right I need to do this this and this in order to improve and you know and succeed so that's that's the mind frame I'm in and that's only through

failing and failing again and then succeeding and then you succeed again and then you might be on a bit of a winning streak and no doubt that when you push yourself you're going to get to that place where you will fail multiple times again you learn from those experiences you know you'll push forward and you'll be better for it like so that's what i'm seeing in terms of i like yeah like and it's crazy because like i understand that they're your thoughts and then for me looking at you i'm like i think that's crazy that he would think that way but of course that like everyone has that about

everyone else it's like uh i'm surprised that person felt like that way and it makes me think of like if I was to use the analogy of like, let's say someone walking into the gym for the first time, the first thing they probably think are them exact thoughts that you said that I don't actually belong here. And yet it's the most crucial time that's like, okay, I understand that you feel uncomfortable in this situation

because it's probably something new, but like that means that you're in this kind of growth phase where you're actually putting yourself into an uncomfortable situation and you're actually supposed to feel like that. Like it's the paradox. like you have to feel your most uncomfortable when you're

actually in a growth stage. Even in this call now, you articulate yourself way better than what I perceive that I articulate anything. So like, but then now that little burst by then I was like, yeah, nailing it, nailing it, nailing it, near it.

But I'm thinking, but I'm saying, I'm waffling and talking shit, you know, I'm making sense. You know what I mean? There's always that thing about the mind. Yeah. That self-critic

That's just constantly there Yeah, yeah And it never, it never leaves It's just almost sitting on the day But do you think that it gets quiet and quieter The more you do Yeah, I'd imagine like when you're on a,

when you're on the gym floor with a client I imagine that self-critic at the back of your head Isn't like half as loud as it might have been during your first PT session No, not at all exactly You put yourself in that, in the environment over and over again You just, yeah

And I think that's a thing as well, isn't it? You're in that environment. So you're in a Sliming World Club. You're going to be similar. You'll have similar points of view on diet to the people around you. So inevitably, you're going to adopt those ways. So by me being in that room, the more time I put myself in that environment with you guys, I'm going to slowly, inch by inch, become a level playing field with you guys.

You know what I mean? And then it's time to step into another one. And as you were done, you know what I mean? You've grown your Instagram following, and you've done that incrementally. You showed up every day. And it didn't just happen overnight, you know what I mean? It's happened because you put yourself forward.

You know, you articulate yourself really well. And I can't imagine you were doing, you were articulating half as well as you were, you know, five years ago, whatever. You're improving every time. So it's exactly the same. in the gym and it's exactly the same with nutrition and understanding you know

having beliefs around food and understanding that they're the boys and idiot do you know what I mean? It's just coming over and putting yourself you know learning from experience then yeah makes perfect sense like that's that's the

like the entry like self though is the entry for you actually getting better at something like you have to feel that self though yeah it makes makes perfect sense I can I ask you another question. So what's, let's say, what's a life lesson that you've learned through your work as a trainer that you think other people should know?

What have you learned over the past couple of years? Working with other people, training, other people helping them to not just improve their body image, but, you know, it just improved their quality of life. What do you think you've learned? I've learned that I have to step, I have to listen a lot more. As a coach, listening is the key.

listening and ask and then like reaffirming or repeating back and understanding so truly listening and repeating back what your clients are trying to say and not just jumping like I say from you're in the world you know I've got a poor body image of myself I don't feel great I feel fat I feel ugly looking me out of shape, I got this done the other and not just jumping in with, I've got a solution for that asking the questions

accepting what they are saying and understanding and reiterating it back in a different way perhaps from a different angle or have you seen if you can coax out a little bit more information and I think you learn more from doing that way.

you understand more and you understand that a lot of clients, even though you treat them as individuals, we're all human, and I think there's certain traits that overlap with everyone. Like I'm not a counselor or a psychologist or anything,

but I'm sure that there's a lot, especially the group of clients I work with, there's a lot that blend in, and the more I'm working with people, the more I can see, it and just from a trend that I've

can see there's a there's a there's a lot of overlap in in what people are dealing with like yeah it's just in a different scale it's all it's all like a spectrum and it's you know what I mean yeah that's when you said

that first piece there that my initial thoughts went straight to what I used to do when I was a younger trainer is that straight away someone would say what they want and I or I would assume what they want and I would assume their goal and then start getting to work

straight away on what they want. And yeah, like it's, it's one of the biggest mistakes you can make because you miss out on it, the key ingredient of what someone actually wants by just assuming that you know what they want to that. They want weight loss, you know? And I think you project you,

you were a goal for them. So like, and again, it comes down to, like, ego and what you've learned and what your experience has been. And if you've only got your experience, you can only go by your experience. Like my experience, was getting the gym five days a week smash it get on the creatine

stay away from steroids get you know get on the protein anything that they're selling on on muscle and fitness grab all the some of that like I've seen tablets like I was doing whatever if it was in a tablet form I was taking it right all legal

and that's boring I know but still I spent a fortune on it right and it just went to rot but anyway, that was my experience. So going into coaching, if I had gone into it at that period of time, I would have said, this is where you do. I forget about nutrition.

Because I still eat like shit, right? Like, I shouldn't say eat like shit because it isn't a such thing as eating like shit, right? Yeah. Because I still have, people can't believe it when I, like this morning,

one of the girls in the gym made cinnamon rolls. Like I had two of the cinnamon rolls. I had no, and it, So what, like, isn't it? It's part of my diet. So I just, I added no guilt, nothing like that. And that's how I've always eaten. So to me, it was about the gym.

That was going to get everyone the same results of what I had. So when people just ask me, you know, what are you doing? What are you doing? It was like, well, I just gym one, two, three, four times a week, five, perhaps twice on a Friday, I don't know, right? I take weekends off. I do this exercise for these. this exercise for that and

it's not it's not the case it's not a case of you do you know you do biceps and you're going to get big arms it's not it's a culmination of doing all the compound moves plus biceps do you know what I mean it's um and it's you only learn that

over time like it's not I mean there's people that still make that mistake today like you see that all over social media is that someone lost a lot of weight doing a certain diet let's say they did the carnivore diet or whatever the diet is. So therefore, this diet is the best diet in the world

and this will work for everyone. So you should all do this diet. That's the proof. So they've got evidence of that. They've got their own evidence of that. So for them, that will work for everyone. And until it doesn't, do you know I mean? And then they lost then. So it's the case

of, well, well, they've already built that identity then as carnivore, keto, whatever. That's their identity. So they can't, fall away from that they've told so many people about it yeah that they stuck they stuck in that

it's like like I say you can't be the you can't be the uh the the the keto diet coach you then says oh no let's uh look for flexible diet for everyone no exactly yeah or no we introduce you know certain blinking fruits and yeah yeah it's like so

it's it's some of the kind of our um influences are online now are being like oh yeah a full carnivore diet but now you can add in fruit and veg and now you can add in carbohydrates as well, some fats. All right, okay, so it's a balanced meal, is it?

It's a lot of everyone, but yeah. Yeah, you know, you're absolutely right, and I, and I think, I think a lot of people, I think, I think people, even people like ourselves who, who understand that not everything, not everything that works for you will work for everyone. You can still fall into that trap at times even without realising it.

It's a very easy trap to, fall, isn't it? It is, yeah, it is yeah, yeah, I said, because you build that, you've got evidence that, that works, and it will work, and things do work, carnival works, it works to a point, like,

and like anything else would, do you know what I mean, like a McDonald's diet would, it's just, it'll all work, and if you haven't trained ever before, when you start training just your biceps, you will notice a change in your physique, like, but it'll only get you to a certain,

to a certain point. Yeah, and that's yeah, I think yeah, I'm gone now. I've got, I've two more questions for you and then I'll let you go. So if you could give one piece of advice to the people listening to the listeners of this podcast in terms of improving their quality of life

beyond fitness, what would you say? What would you advise them? Because I'm sure, I'm sure there's, when you're, with clients, you know, you're advising them on. Oh, yeah. Even outside of fitness as well. I think the priority should always be yourself

because you need to protect your energy in order to make, you know, to make a change to your life and the people around you because that's the first thing that people pick up on is energy. I know, again, from a coaching experience and clients and they pick up, if you would, like, I'm trying to build a successful business. So I need to be on point with my clients.

And I'm not saying I need to be 100% all the time, but I need to have that energy because they need that energy to fill out their sessions, to be motivated by me, to be inspired and inspire themselves. So I need to look after that energy. You need to protect yourself from, you know, fatigue and things like that. and you can do that just through doing the basics and that's, you know, sleep, you know, water,

not excessive. You don't need a ripping Stanley Cup. Yeah, like I said, sleep, focus, a lot of sleep, perhaps reduce you. I'm going on this one now because I'm on a sobriety kick at the minute, right? Yeah, I know. I'm saying, are you a year in or was it nine months, I'm saying?

It's just approaching, it might be 10 months now. I was approaching 300 days. Sorry, so I wanted to actually ask that, so we'll add that in now. So what was the initial reason behind doing that and how have you felt? And what's life being like differently?

And was there any challenges? Tell us a little bit about that. Energy. That's what it boiled down to really was. I've just explained how full of my life is at the moment. Yeah. And I was just, I don't, I'm not like, I'm like a social,

drinker and a recreational drinkers then I like going out and I got to the point where excuse me a sec I want to call a minute I want to call me sorry yeah so yeah I got to the point where I was being

staying well not to the point this is what I would do I would just I'd go out and I'd stay out till late and I'm one of those people that just wouldn't you know didn't know when to switch off and go home. Yeah. Yeah.

Like I had friends that really envious of who go out and have a couple. Yeah, they'd be stinking drunk, but they go home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've always got to be the last person like I, you know what I mean? I, I, I wouldn't. Just the case, just the case you miss Sally Dick. Yeah, something's bound to happen. Yeah.

Yeah. So I, it was that. And then I was like, again, going back to the mental health thing, I'd be in bed then on the Sunday, feeling sorry of yourself, shaking my head. having, thinking, not panic attacks, but that dread. Yeah, yeah. Minging. So, yeah, that would set me back.

The Sunday, then, we're a write-off. The Monday then, you're still not thinking on Tuesday. And I just couldn't afford to be that way anymore. I was on 200 milligrams of surgery at the time. I'd try to come off multiple times, and I'd get down to a pretty low level. Then I'd have a setback because there'd be a piss-up somewhere. And it'll be a, you know, it'd be a reason to go out.

They wouldn't be, I'd just go and get pissed. It would be a party. It would be an international. There's always a party. There's always someone's birthday, someone's wedding, someone's christening. There's always a celebration. There's always a rugby on.

There's always a real. And rugby has a big drink culture attached to it as well. Yeah, yeah, massively. So, yeah, there'd be that. So I'll keep having setbacks. So I thought once and for all now, it was like the 22. and went out on the gym night out,

got smashed, got smashed twice in one night, I think, and then got in early hours the morning. I'd left my car keys. Well, I thought I'd lost my car keys. I got in, I couldn't get in, so I'm knocking my wife up at 4 o'clock in the morning, so you can imagine.

So the next day, it was a case of I had to go and get the car, but the misses wouldn't take me because you've got to learn a lesson, ask your father to do it. The thought of asking my father to take me, right? And he would have taken me, there would have been no problem. But in my head, the thought of asking my father to take me to Puth call, which is, you know, 40-minute drive away from you, right? I just couldn't, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Like, it was the worst thought in the world. Everything was going through my mind, isn't it? So I put it off. I ended up doing it on Christmas Eve. And you know what I mean? It was a case of, I was affecting then family when I saw, you know what I mean? where we would go out and enjoy Christmas Eve.

It bled into Christmas Eve. And I thought, enough's enough. I'm not, that's it. I told everyone, that's the first thing I done. That's the first thing of accountability is tell as many people as you can. Because the people that you tell are all the people that are going to try to get you. Yeah. You're just got to tell everyone, though.

You've got to commit to it. You've got to tattoo it on your forehead and make sure with it. Because otherwise, I'll cut down a bit. I'll cut down a bit on the alcohol. And I've tried it before. And you're half-assing it. There's no chance that you're going to, you're,

there's no cutting down on it. If you're, if it's causing that much of an issue, you've got to sacrifice it. You've got to sacrifice. That's what I'm saying. There's no, there's no balance. So you can't,

and again, alcohol isn't a balance. You can't, it's not balancing an healthy life with alcohol, is it? You're sacrificing time, energy, emotions, other people's emotions. And I ask you a question,

was there, did you find at the start there was a pushback from let's say friends and stuff like that when you were saying, no, I'm not going to have a drink or, because I know in Ireland anyway, there would be quite a culture of like, you know, oh, you're not going to have a drink, I'll go on, just have one. You know, because they're so used to you.

It's not like a malice thing, but it's like they're so used to you being out having a drink with them going on the piss that then when you you know, say no to it. You're almost, it's almost like you're offending that person. Yeah, that's right, yeah. Yeah, no, I'd say initially it was a case of, yeah, right, oh, you've said it's before.

So, like I said, you've proven time and time again. You can't do it. You know what I mean? In a way, it's like you're just saying it. You don't mean it. So there was that pushback. So no one believed in me. So I thought, no, I dug in deep, dug down.

I dug in and I said, no, this is it. I'm doing it. But, like, the first night out then, it was a case of, you're not drinking, no. And I think people, and I've said it, said it time and time again when people ask me, I think the same as what I

I would feel if my mate wasn't drinking, you're not part of that social then, even if it's the two of you, you don't feel that engagement. Oh, you're not drinking. You know, it affects that other person. So it's with, they mean it, they don't mean it,

I don't think they mean it in a bad way. but they're a bit upset by it. It affects them because they feel it's going to affect their night. It's going to affect their enjoyment because you ain't sharing in this shared experience. And that's where the pushback comes. And it still does and it doesn't go away.

Even though I'm 10 months down, it's still, you're still not drinking? No, still not drinking. And there is a difference. There is, it will cause a lot like I am being to the rugby club since you know

I stopped drinking because it's pointless I've been out multiple times I've been to I've been to a fool fight a concert I'm never going to a full fight I never go into a concert again so bad but I've experienced a

concert I've experienced internationalers done to the six nations. I've gone out. I've purposely gone out on night out and works doos and everything like I. Try not to put your life on hold because I have to live

as well. And it's not that difficult. I've got to be honest. Once you've committed to it once you're in there and the fact that I've told everyone I've had nightmares honest of God, I've had nightmares that I've had a drink.

So can I ask a question then? So have you noticed like an uptake in your quality of life since stopping or do you feel like it just it's that you're able to just manage your tasks more effectively without kind of dragging yourself around with a hangover exactly that they have noticed any I've noticed physical changes in I'm able to I'm training more recovery is obviously going to become better exactly my recovery is like I wear a whoop and I know it's not completely accurate, I'm not stupid, but

the recovery is never very rarely in the red. I've got to have like three hours sleep in a night or whatever or whatever, you know, or I've been out even if I've been out and I have a late night that affects it quite a bit. But it doesn't... It gives me more time when I do feel I'm still, I still get anxiety

like everyone does, you know what I mean? Especially since coming off the certuline and stuff because going back to that, it had a big effect on me coming off that, a big influence. Without failing, I just dropped the dosage

every couple of months it was, you know, it was done. But I came off, not an issue. I had a few side effects. But I think if I had been drinking, I wouldn't have been able to deal with those side effects. But I was able to push through, got over the side effects,

effects and I've been off from, well, since April now, end of April. I still have, I still have depression. I still overthink things, I say, but it's not consuming me for days on end. I've gained back that time and, like I said, that focus and energy to be able to deal with it. And not, it's not, I'm not losing days. I'm not putting myself under unnecessary pressure and things like that. Yes, I'm noticing it that way, but you don't notice it from a day to day. Like you do with fat loss, you don't notice it from one day to the next.

Every day ebbs and flows, like every, so it might be social pressures, there might be family pressures, illness in the family, they might be work pressures. Like, I'm working three jobs, there's going to be pressure. But I'm able to ride that out a lot more effectively than ride it out and up and down, and then dropping off a cliff. There would be massive dips, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. I'm down here then.

I'm having to recover myself back up, you know what I mean? And then they're... So that's what I see. So over the 12 months, if I probably look back, if I had recorded, I should have really.

I do journal, but not properly. If I had... I think if I had, like, recorded everything, then I might have seen a big difference, a big measurable difference. So it's like we just touched

on even with the client who comes into the gym and paying and then after a couple of weeks of training they might not notice it but they realised that oh I'm not in paying anymore. Yeah, exactly. It just happens and it just yeah.

That's your new new new. That's exactly. That's your new normal, yeah. That makes sense. One last question for you, Paul. So what advice would you give to your younger self if you could talk to them? It's a difficult question.

I'll narrow it down to make it more easier for you so what would you give what would you give to your younger self if you could talk to them and who was starting off their career in the fitness industry um i think i would say like i'm like i've done all along since the start since it's just been honest with myself so and i was told in my first coaching seminar when i put myself in an uncomfortable situation with other coaches and you compare and you do it's natural you're going to compare there's no avoiding it and I think it's a healthy thing to do to a point uh compare and you know aspire to be better um you know what I mean and get influenced by the people in the room and what I was told was that I need to

I think I've embraced my vulnerability and that I was told that my vulnerabilities is my superpower so by opening myself up and being open to you know blame myself and be being open about everything from my drinking from every from every from every aspect and and and not feeling like worthy about some things and not feeling confident about things and and and just leaving myself out at open then that encourages the people that I work with to be same and see that it's fine to be you know to share these things and that it's not a weakness and I think by me being so open and allowing my vulnerability to show it allows me to learn a lot from other people's vulnerabilities then so I learned from being from me being so

I you've got to be careful I'm not saying just you know be you know open open to anyone. You've got to be cautious and understand that, you know, there's some things that you have to deal with yourself and you have.

You don't need a, you don't need a trauma dump to the postman, but I completely get that. Like, vulnerability is a superpower. And I think, as men especially, I think it's something that we find

difficult to do, but when you do, do it, I think it kind of feels like taken off chance to so speak definitely does and like I've tried to do that in my

in my social posts and it does engage a lot of of people and I've got to be cautious that I'm not falling down the trap of I need I need to be open about everything and I'm like getting those pity likes

yeah yeah because I could be a fall into the trap of that and that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's needy and it's it's it's not it's not inspiring and it's not you know but when I I like to share things that I'm doing to um you know improve my life things that I've overcome uh that other people may be dealing with and like I said it's on that spectrum so I that posted about my my mental else a few days ago And I felt quite guilty because I was feeling the way I was feeling when I know there was people going through, you know, far greater trauma and probably just thinking of me, you know, you're just freaking whining. What do you want about?

You got what you're worried about? Like, what you're, you got no reason to be anxious, you know what I mean? And I wanted to get that across. I was, I was feeling that way. But it's okay, it's okay to feel, feel that way. And I think I think also a lot of men would be in the exact same headspace that you just described there. Like, oh, yeah, I have issues or I have problems, but what's the point in being vocal about it? Because, yeah, there's people worse off than me.

And that can end up in a, you know, a more dangerous situation if that's always the top process. Yeah, exactly. And like what it was for me was it was affecting my whole. life. It was lack of focus. It wasn't, I just wasn't listening to anyone or anything. I was snappy. I was more than snappy. I was aggressive. It was, you know, and I think if I hadn't done, if I had a car accident in work, I don't know how far would have gone. Do you know what I mean? I don't think I wouldn't have been

violent or I wouldn't have got to the really traumatic thing but it led to a car accident so I was quite traumatic I suppose but yeah I think that that car accident happened for a reason

could have been prevented I was in a mindset where I thought of bugger it then my head had gone. It was temper and that's what led to that. So if it had led to that,

what else could it have led to? So I wasn't in a great place. What do you think for those listening, especially men listening who might be in kind of a similar situation? What do you think helps to slowly get you out of that? Yeah.

I can't put my finger on what else because I keep related. getting it back to that car crash, or actually it was bumper was more than anything. It could have been a lot worse than art of glory. But that was what, it gave me the space. So I would say maybe, you know, try and find some space somewhere and seek any form of help.

What do you think gives you space? what gives you a clear headspace? What keeps you kind of grounded? I don't want to say takes that time off work, but that's what I did. I took time away from what was at the time felt that was stressing me out and it was during lockdown as well.

But again, you've got to, trying to think back. That wasn't the trigger it was a builder. up from something that I can't put my finger on. And I remember going over these conversations with the, they put on these blinking therapists through work and things which didn't decide help me, but they could help others. And I think you've got to find your own,

you've got to find your own way. And it's like, it's difficult for me to say, this is what, you know, I would do. Because I'm going back to this is how I would train. when I first started training, do you know what I mean? I don't want to coach something in the way that I... I know what you mean. It's like this.

You're not saying, all right, so this is the steps that helped me to, you know, feel more grounded and give me the headspace. But that doesn't mean it's going to, you know, help everyone else. No. And it can be any, but it's definitely not drowning yourself in a, you know, a bottle of blinking whiskey or blinking vodka, whatever, whatever it is or, you know, bringing, you know, bag of coke. Like, it's not, it's not, it's not, that's not doing new, that's not serving you in any way.

That's just, that's just forcing you into that downward spider of, of, of, of, of shitness. Like, because it just causes issues, you know what I mean? So what about today? What, what keeps you level headed today, do you think to, to, to not get too, too much overwhelm from, let's say, you know, overloading work? You know, you've busy days. So what keeps you a level-headed today? Focus and purposes. I'm pursuing a passion.

I'm driven to be a successful coach. I've got a lot of things that I'm excited about at the moment. There's a lot of opportunities. This has come out of the blue now. I had this message off you. And to me, this is a massive opportunity. And so opportunities. raise the head when you are, you know, pursuing something.

Do you know what I mean? I could have easily have just, you know, carried on drinking, you know, stayed the way I was going, not pursuing anything, dealt with it in that way, hide away and made my world smaller. But I chose to invest in myself, that's a biggie. So not just invest in qualifications, but invest in, self-development, you invest in yourself

when you get audio books or buy books or whatever you enjoy doing, invest yourself in blinking, I don't know, in a gym, invest in a coach, invest in a PT. Excuse me. And I think people are afraid

to invest money into things for fear, you know, of financial fear, and it is a stress, but do it within your mind. means like, do you know what I mean? If if you were quite, I'm not saying how to spend your money now, but if you were

quite happy to spend $300,000 on an no-a-sacist gig, do you know what I mean? That you probably get pissed up and smashed and won't remember a thing, then you could put that £300, if you are dealing with a load of shit to solve, or try and solve a problem then, you know what I mean? An issue that you may be dealing with.

If you're going out on a weekend and spend, ending 150 quid on on a lash or whatever and you know just just wheel it in for one week and that's a PT that's that's that's but again you've got to find a PT

that resonates with you and what you were dealing with not the not a body um we come back full circle yeah yeah we did yeah but yeah I think I think and it also comes back to what you spoke about in terms of like fair or fared I think a lot of times

the financial investments was like oh I don't want to spend this money in case I don't get what I want out of this whether like that means I'm scared I'm scared of my fail I might not be able to do it I might not have what it takes and and therefore I don't want to have this reminder

that I'm a failure that I spend this money on this thing and it didn't work out whereas like the Oasis tickets okay it's gives it's given to me straight away I have it in my hand I know the trade off here and I received it. Oh I'm going to get smashed but I think it's going to be a great time and I felt and that's

that's fair enough, I'm just playing Weber's advocate. But when it comes to investing in anything, even if it's time, energy, money, I keep going to energy as well.

I got to think about energy. Time, money, whatever, you never know. And you never will know. I've bought things and invested in things and courses and stuff

that I am freaking looked at. And like, I was advised, I was told not, that's one of the things not to do, don't buy things unnecessary. necessarily.

But I have. That was a failure that I've learned from. I've probably taken some things out of it, but I probably didn't get the full value. But I wouldn't have known unless I had done that. And I think

don't, if you think, if you've got to think, right, this, this might work for me. You know what I mean? Then have a crack at it. Like, the worst worst thing is you're going to be out of pocket for a month or two, like.

I think a big thing you, you touched on there. that I think a lot of men who might feel aimless is you spoke about feeling excited to do something. And I think a lot of the time that's definitely something that people lack in their lives. And therefore it's easier to go for the bottle or something like whatever it is. It's because like, well, I've nothing else going on so I might as well. you know, do X, Y and Z destructive habits. But like you've so much on in your life now that you had to sacrifice alcohol. And that's something that you're happily willing to sacrifice

because you know that there's other priorities in your life that are more important, more exciting. And therefore it makes it easier to do that, isn't it? That's exactly right. Yeah, that's exactly right. If you can focus on, like I say, that's when you build goals. if you can build it around something that's going to excite you and you're really

looking forward to it, then you're more likely to put the things in place to get to that and, like, say, sacrifice the things that you know will affect that, put them to one side. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I could probably guarantee that most of the men that I know

who are probably sitting down in the pub now on a Tuesday or a Wednesday night, you know, sinking a couple of points, like they probably don't have much to look forward to, for the rest of the week. Well, apart from that, pint after work. Yeah. And that's

just from a developed a bit. So for the Tuesday night, they're not excited to do that. That's part of an habit, like, do you know what I mean? Like, if it was on, if a champion league was on it, on the thing, then yeah, okay, you get excited to go out and have a pint with your buddies and enjoy

your experience. But if you, you were finding that you were getting home after a day's work and cracking open a couple of cans. You're doing that through habit. Yeah. And also escapeism maybe a little bit as well. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe.

Maybe. But I think what you're escaping from. Yeah. It's, um, uh, you know, if you, if you don't, if you don't change it, this, it's going to stay the same. So what do you If it's causing you that much Anguish that you You want to escape from it

Does it has it got a place in your life for them? What's it there for? And like I say It's a trade-off, there's a sacrifice You're sacrificing your time In a job that you don't want to be in for a financial Reward So it's that That trade-off again and it's so

There's always going to be a trade-off And you have to then start to to wind them out and say, okay, is this worth it? Yeah, but like, you have to take it and I say it's not, it's, if it is causing you that much, if you're not enjoying your job,

then there's only one thing, you know, you've got to do something about it. Like, and I know there's responsibilities and things, like, like I had, but, and I've, I've been through it for, I put it off from the age of 21, like I said, I was in a swimming pool in Florida and I told my now wife that this is my plan.

I want to be a PT and she held me under the water. But I could send it. He was coming. So I put it off. All that time I didn't have any children or anything and that would have been a prime time to do it. And I'd have been 20 odd years into this now and I'd have been James Smith with no error. Probably not. But I mean, I'd have been that much.

much further along, but it happened for a reason. Yeah. I had 20 years, or no, it wasn't 20 years, but 18 years further than the line. I'd had kids that experienced a lot more, and I started my coaching business. Do you know what I mean? And it's just gone from strength to strength to strength to strengthen. And like I say, I've learned that by chasing it, whether I have to pay for something or I have to put myself in a place, if I've got to say, I don't like, say,

saying yes to everything, but I see everything now as a bit of an opportunity, because I'm still in kind of the early days of trying to build a brand. I can't say no to a lot of things because everything might lead to something. So networking and things, like meeting with you, if I hadn't put myself forward and signed up for Lewis's thing, I'd never have met you then. So it all, it all, it all ripples into the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. Yeah, exactly. And it just leads to better things and and yeah I'm a big advocate for for that now I'm not the further down the line I'm going the more um

happy and what's the word I'm looking for I'm happy to and money over if I feel that it's going to improve me and it's going to take me to the next step so it's a

The trade-offs become worth it in terms of, okay, I'm given energy, I'm given time, but I know that it feels right. It's given me excitement, say, to continue pursuing down this path. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and everything seems to be going in the right direction, and I'm open now. As soon as this redundancy comes through, I can hit the ground running. I may have to ease back on a lot of the things that I'm currently involved with, just because I'm going to have to look after,

you know, tighten the purse strings a little bit when it comes to finances because I'd be done to that soul, you know, just what I'm earning then through my coaching. But I've learned a lot. That's what I've done, basically, everything that I've earned in my coaching, I've basically reinvested and I've,

I think in three years, it's kind of accelerated where I am as a coach. Yeah, I think, I think that's a, I think that's one of the big things that people start to realize when they do invest in themselves, whether that's in their health and fitness in their business or, you know, just in their wellness, whatever it is. When they see the impact of that and they want to do it more and more because the more you give into that, the more you kind of get, get out. But it's always hard to start when you have the least amount of confidence to invest in yourself, you know, back yourself. It is. Yeah.

But it gets, it does. It gets, it gets, it gets easy. and it makes more and more sense. And you, I said, you become, I think the more times you can put yourself in an experience, you can almost sense when something's going to work and when something's not going to work. And it's the same as trading. That's how trading works in it.

So you become more familiar without things operate like. And that's by putting yourself in those conditions. Paul, where can people reach out if they want to, send you a question, want to ask you about coaching, just want to chat even about things that they've heard today on today's conversation. Where can they reach out and find you? Well, I am got an only fan's site.

But on Instagram, so I'm at Taylor Body Coach on Instagram and on Facebook. It's just Paul Taylor on Facebook. I have got a website that they set up when I first started the business. It's a bit. it's a bit old. I haven't looked at it in a while. But yeah, just Instagram probably

that'll be the first place to go. We'll put everything in the show notes anyway. Paul, you've been unbelievable. I really appreciate this conversation today. Thanks for watching. If you like that episode and you want to see more content like this, make sure you're subscribed

and I'll see you on the next one.