The Uneducated PT Podcast - Emmaline Howard - Small Wins Equal Big Changes

Episode Date: February 29, 2024

In this episode of the Uneducated PT we bring on the wonderful Emaaline Howard. Emma is an aussie living in the UK who's bubbly personality and passion for fitness shines through to help everyone she talks to. Emmaline speaks about her past mistakes with overtraining and her struggle with food as well as the journey she's currently on to become one of the rising stars of the Uk fitness scene.

Hello and welcome to the uneducated PT podcast with me, your host, Carlo Rourke. The goal of this podcast is to bring on interest and knowledgeable people from all walks of life, learn a little something from each conversation. And for you, the listener, just learn something from each episode. So don't forget to subscribe to the channel, press the box below, show some support, and I'll see you on the next episode. So you want to just introduce yourself to the group and tell them a little bit about yourself where you're from and all that. Yeah, all right.

Good-day, guys. I'm Emmeline. I'm Australian. If you didn't figure that out, no, I'm not saying. is take the piss. It's actually how I say hello. Yeah, so I'm from as I live in the UK at the moment. I met Carl through coaching mentorships and things like that. Yeah, I've been here about a year.

I kind of just fell into fitness through my own fumbles over the years. And that's how I ended up here on Carl's call. How did you end up in the UK? Because that's something that I wanted to know about you. Okay, yeah. So a few years ago, I decided, actually, if you haven't read James Smith's book, not a life coach, that's how I ended up in the UK. You went the opposite to James, basically. So it's a kind of, it was a stepping stone process. So I read that book and I've gone,

you know what? I'm sick of sitting on my ass and waiting for my life to happen. I'm going to make things happen. So I got like two jobs. I started working crazy hours. I saved up a heap of money and decided I was to move across Australia and that was the plan. And then I saved up money in twice as fast as I thought I could. And I thought, you know what? Stop it. I'm just going to go overseas and go traveling for like three months. I'd never really done any solo trips. I'd never left Australia. And I was like, I'm going to do 10 weeks solo across Europe. Why not? So 2022 now, I did 10 weeks solo across Europe. And it was the best thing ever. And I decided, oh, you know what? I want to come back and live in the UK so I can travel a bit more. So that was 2022. And then the start of last year,

I came back and decided to live here for a year and it's been the single best and worst decision of my life. And what was the driving factor to leave Oz? Like, why leave Oz? Why not stay and do what you were doing in Oz and decide to kind of pick up and leave everything behind? I needed a change. I needed a challenge. The hustle culture isn't there in Australia. Like there's people, because life is so good.

Everyone's so chill. happy plotting along. There's no one really like driving for like goals and chasing after big things. And the other side of it is I just wanted to travel more. I caught the travel bug and I'm like, get me to as many countries as I possibly can. And Camer, tell me this then. So when you were in Oz, were you as in the fitness and everything you do now as as you were back then? Or yeah, story there? I hadn't started like studying for coaching. I hadn't done anything like that. I could retire at the ripe old age of 27 if I had a dollar for every time someone told me I should become a personal trainer. But yeah, I just, when I was about 20, I joined the gym. And so I just, I fell in love

with the gym and I trained. I've been training pretty consistently since I started. I was very fortunate. I call myself fortunate to actually have fell in love with the gym. So it's never been that thing where I'm like, oh, I don't want to go. Like 90% of the time, I'm like, yes, let's go. this is going to make my day better. So I'm lucky in that regard. But I had so, so, so much trouble with my eating and my habits around food. And so that's what sort of led me into wanting to become a coach because after I sort of overcome all the crap that's out there, I was like, oh my God, I want to help other people do this too. Yeah, because I was shocked that you weren't the coach when obviously we met in Manchester and I already presumed that you had been a coach for years. And I think

most people presume that when they speak to you as well. Yeah, yeah. I get that a lot. They're like, what? You're not coaching yet? You don't have any clients? Nope, I don't have any clients. I'm nearly finished my level two, and then I'll go on to do my level three. And everyone's like, you can start coaching online without qualifications, which technically you can, but it doesn't sit well with me.

I was like, I just feel like I need that qualification. Even though I know 80% of what I'll be doing is based on my current knowledge and experience, I need that piece of paper to feel legit and feel like I can do it. Yeah, because I got all them to follow. Some of them already followed you already, but I got them to follow you anyway. And like all the advice and everything you give out in terms of your videos and your information, like, it's not someone who has just got their personal trainer. It's someone who's, you know, being experienced and training them for a long, long time. I wanted to talk to you a little bit about training there because like you said, you said you've been training for basically the last decade.

So I always see you on Instagram banging out the deadlifts and stuff like that. So my question would be for anyone in the group here, right, what would be your, because a lot of them are starting out in the gym or just getting back into it or just trying to find some consistency in their training. And what advice would you have for anyone in this group who has just, who was just kind of starting out their training programs in the gym? My best advice, you guys are all here because you have a coach. And my best advice is get a coach because I never did.

And it means I made a lot of mistakes for a very long time before I started correcting things. I did everything by like reading like PDF training programs and following YouTube videos and all of that. So that would be my biggest thing, but you guys have already done that. So other things, what kind of, sorry, I'm choking on yourself. What are there? If you can think back, what would have been some of the biggest mistakes that you made if you can remember? I know probably you're going back a while, but what kind of mistakes do you remember making that you would advise people not to make?

Just like poor form on lots of things. I spent a very long time over training because I fell in love with the gym. And so lots of people like struggled to get to the gym and I went the other way. I was like I was there every single day. I was sacrificing sleep for training. I was like I was literally putting training before absolutely anything else because I loved it. But it was to my own detriment and I wasn't getting the benefits out of it because I was literally burning myself to the ground. Yeah.

But that's also a mistake that newbies make as well because they get so excited and so motivated that they do actually go too hard too soon. I just did that for like five years. So here's a question for you then. So how would I need a clients on here? Because we have a few who do overtrain as well, Lisa. So how would you? I'm looking for someone who's name says Lisa. Yeah.

So how would you know that you're overtrained and what would be the signs of that? obviously you would be able to pick it up now, but obviously you weren't able to pick it up at the time. Yeah, it was actually when I finally did get a coach. He's like, you're over training, cut it back. And I fought with him for months and months and then ended up cutting it back. I'm like, oh, I feel a lot better. You're right.

He's like, thank you. So if you're choosing to put training before sleep, you're training too much. That was the biggest one for me. I was on sub six hours sleep every night working 40 plus hours a week, doing five weight sessions and three cardio. There's no rest days in that. That's eight sessions in a seven day week.

I was in the gym morning. I was in the gym at night to get my step targets. Like I was living at the gym and I was putting it above all. Like if you're prioritising training over sleep, that is usually the biggest giveaway. What was the motivation back then to do that to be so obsessive with your training? weights was because I wanted to get stronger. I've always just loved that.

The cardio was because I thought I needed it for fat loss. I was burning myself into the ground trying to get skinnier and skinnier. You said that you had, even though you were constantly training, that you were also kind of struggling with food. So I suppose there was a degree of struggling with food and then overtraining. Like a lot of people do make them mistakes. Yeah, you end up hungrier because you've been training more and then it creates this vicious cycle.

and I personally, I struggled a lot with binge eating. I never went and got a formal diagnosis for a binge eating disorder. I probably should have because it controlled my life. I wouldn't go to social events. I would binge 5,000 calories in two hours and then take every fridge and cupboard in the house shut and starve myself for two days, like literally not eat anything. So it was very much obsessive and controlling my life. And I would be like, I would be tracking my freaking iceberg lettuce.

Like, guys, you don't need to track iceberg lettuce. it's just water. Like I was very, very obsessive with my food. And so, yeah, I bounced back a lot. How did you kind of come to tuition to understand and that you had a poor relationship with food? Was it only when you look back that you realized that you had that? When I looked back, I realized how bad it was.

But at the time, I just felt like something was wrong with me. Yeah. I was just like, why does everyone around me? Why can they just stop when they're full? They can just stop eating? and it blew my mind and they wouldn't be constantly looking for the next snack. And like, we'd all go out for dinner. And they're like, yeah, I'm happy with the main.

And I'm like, oh, no, this is my excuse. I've gone out for dinner. I'm going to get entrees, mains and desserts. And then I'll come home and raid the fridge. Like, and it was just constant, constant, constant eating. And then, like, cutting back and then constant eating and then restricting. And it just, yeah. And then it was once I realized that there were other people that were struggling with

it too, that I managed to start to go, oh, my God, I'm not broken and I'm not alone. And there's nothing wrong with me. this is something that lots people struggle with and that can be overcome. But I just thought that was me and that's how I was just, that's how I was. Yeah. And you said that when you got a coach, you kind of realized a lot of these things in terms of your recovery in terms of probably even improving your relationship with field as well with that. What would you say is one of the most important pieces of advice that you've got from a mentor in terms of fat loss that you probably pass on to people now?

from that coach actually my coach was Duren I was in Duren's group coaching yeah he taught me about the overtraining and the life balance he was like if you if you can't enjoy your life while you're losing fat it's never going to stick so that was probably the biggest thing I got from him was yeah if you're not enjoying yourself or if you feel like you're either like on a diet or off a diet there's and it's not just a flow that it's never going to stick it's got to be sustainable there's no deadlines just keep going and the best piece of advice I've ever heard that changed my life when it came to binge eating was something I heard on a podcast and it was you can eat anything, not everything.

And I say this a lot. It's been quite a few of my videos and it means that you can have absolutely any food you like. You can have any of it. But you just can't have it all at once. And so you can have the brownie today, but you can have the burger tomorrow and the pizza the next day. And so that sort of, you know that when you know that you can have any food you like at any time, it takes away a lot of that restriction and a lot of that guilt. Because you're like, oh, it's not off limits. I can just have it tomorrow. It's fine. I'll have the brownie today and the pizza tomorrow. Yeah. I shared that video you did on the slice of cake for losing fat, which was really good. I shared that with the group.

Oh, thank you. How would you personally define success in terms of your health and fitness goals? I would say if you are happy within yourself and you're happy with the way that you're living life. So it's not like, oh, I weigh this much on the scales or I can lift this much in the gym or I can run this far. It's like, do I look in the mirror and go, you know what? I feel pretty good about myself. And do I feel like I can go out with my friends and not worry about how it's going to affect my, like my body composition? Like, am I going to gain fat if I go out for dinner with my friends? So if you can live your life the way you want and feel good about yourself, you're winning.

In terms of gym anxiety, I know obviously you've been, you know, an advocate of the gym for most of your life. But I know you talked and you helped a lot of people who would be struggling with that. For any clients that we have on the program who might struggle with gym anxiety or going into a gym, what advice would you have for them? everyone starts somewhere absolutely every single person that you see in the gym started with not a fucking clue even the absolutely jacked guy in the corner that looks like fucking arnie he had no idea what he was doing when he first walked in and he was probably piss weak and small as well i one thing i used to do it sounds really really weird but one thing i used to do is i would when I would feel like intimidated by like the big guys in the weights room, I would picture them

with like a two kilo dumbbell struggling to bicep curl it. Because literally they all started from nothing. So everyone started somewhere and no one's looking at you. You probably hear that all the time from every PT on the internet, but no one is looking at you. I can guarantee when I'm in the gym, I'm either looking at myself going, oh my God, my delts are coming out this week, love that, or if I'm looking around at other people, I'm usually like impressed or intrigued by them. So if I see someone massive, I'm like, oh my God, they're lifting so much weight.

Look at them. Or if I see someone who looks like they have no idea what they're doing, I'm like, good for them for coming in here and like getting themselves into the gym. So no one's actually judging you or thinking negatively about you. One of the progress videos that I've seen from you, and I don't mean progress videos in terms of like body transformation. I mean progress videos in terms of strength. I was watching the video of you going from squatting 35 kilos two years ago

and getting all the way up to 80 kilos and doing it smoothly for a lot of reps. What advice would you have? Because obviously we have clients in the program who want to get stronger, who want to build muscle, who want to make that kind of progress. What advice would you have for them in terms of how you did it? Just keep showing up and follow a structured process. grant. Like if you, it's one thing to show up, but if you show up and do something random every day, you won't make progress. So you have to follow a structured program and have a program that's

going to get you towards your goals. I am fortunate that I actually have followed programming for most of my fitness career from day one because I, I was, had this fear of going in and looking like an idiot. So I'm like, I can't just go in and start trying random things. I have to have a plan. So I actually followed programming from very early on, but that would be the biggest thing in terms of doing it, like trying to add just a little bit of weight every week or trying to get the movement a bit smoother or slow it down. Like, there's so many ways that you can progress. The reason my squats actually came that far in that time was because my squats got really strong and then I injured my hip and then I went back to square one. And so I had to, I spent probably

after I injured my hip, I probably spent two to three years squatting under 40 kilos. Like I was just working on for my form and getting everything better and better and better. And then in the last two years, it's come like right up now that I've got everything moving properly again. Yeah, and that's what a big mistake people make is that they go with terrible form, trying to go all the way up and just end up fucking themselves up over. That's how I got the hip injury. I spotted too heavy with bad form and then all of a sudden I couldn't squat properly for like two years. Yeah, I think consistency is a huge part of it because I think a lot of people when they start off training,

they think that they need to, you know, change up their program or change up their exercises every four weeks or they need to, you know, shock the muscles or confuse the muscles and stuff like that. It's being consistent with the same couple of exercises over and over again over time. A hundred percent. And like you don't need any weird shit. If you see people like doing a lunge and then a shoulder press and then a bicep curl all in one movement, it's wasting everyone's time. you don't as Carl said you don't need to shock your muscles you don't need to sneak up on them they know they're there um so just master the basics anyone you see that's really strong

is just really fucking good at the basics they're squatting they're deadlifting they're shoulder pressing they're benching they're just doing the basics really well yeah all that all them other fancy exercises are just for engagement on instagram really aren't he yeah yeah um okay deadly all right i'm gonna open up the floor and let a few clients ask a couple of questions So I'm just going to go, how do I make this a little bit bigger? Valerie, there we go. All right, I'm going to let Lisa ask a question because I'm sure she'll relate very much to you, Emelon. Yes, I'm obviously the one who overtrained.

And Carl is constantly on to me about taking rest days, which I actually took a rest day today. And yes, I do feel like tomorrow, I'm going to feel better tomorrow. I guess anxiety that I'm missing out on the training so that's what my fear is like I'm just like oh I should have gone like I had a look at the program and I was like oh it looks like a good one so I'm like

I kind of feel a bit bad that I didn't go but I know that tomorrow I'm going to feel stronger so that's what I'm trying to overcome is like trying not to feel sad by missing out on the gym yeah it's very hard because I know that feeling very well like, oh, I'm going to miss something or I'm not going to, I'm not going to get the most out of my gains because I'm not going enough and things like that. I'm not sure if you understand how muscle growth works, but muscles, you, when you're working out, you break them down.

You're literally pulling them apart and breaking them down. To repair them, you have to rest. So if you're going gym day, gym day, gym day, gym day, gym day, gym day, they've got no time to repair the breakdown that you've done for them and they're not actually getting bigger and stronger. So that was one thing once I really, really understood that. Like it had to be drilled into me quite a few times before I'd listen. But once I really understood that, it helped me because I kept going, I need to rest because that's how I'm going to get stronger. Lifting the weights is pointless without the rest.

I was actually having an interesting conversation with someone a few weeks ago who is very strong and is competitively strong, competes in strong men. and he said like he himself only trains four to five days a week and he is competing in this stuff he has like two rest days a week so he's programs four days plus one comp prep day so you know he is technically like a high level athlete and he still has two rest days a week yes yeah like i did a mini high locks on the weekend and my body like i went to the gym on Monday and i was like i feel heavy. I'm so tired. I can't do this. And it's because I did a mini walk high walk. So my body... Yeah, that'll do it. So I was like, no, do you know what? I'm just not going to go to

the gym on Tuesday and today's Wednesday. It's my two rest days actually. Yes, good. Well, that's really important. Being able to listen to your body going, you know what? I'm naked. I'm just going to take a break. That's really important. It's totally getting there. Yeah, it takes time. Don't expect, if you've spent so long building up this wall, don't expect to be able to tear it down all at once. Yes. Yeah. Sarah, do you have a question that you want to? ask. Thank you. Um, yeah. So for me, I feel like I kind of get the guilt of like if I'm doing really well Monday to Friday and then, you know, your friends are asking for a meal and they're like, you know, you're going out in my head. I'm like, oh, I'm like, I've hit my protein. I've done my

steps. I've hit my sessions and something in my head saying, you're doing well, don't go out. like, you know, I feel like if I go, wow, I might overindulge and my week's kind of back to square one again. So would you have any, I suppose, tips on how to overcome that or? Yeah. Again, I know these feelings so well. There's a few things here. One thing that is really important is obviously you're feeling this because that's what's happened in the past. So in the past, you had a really good week, then you've gone out with your friends, and you've overindulged, and then you felt guilty after.

Am I correct in saying that? Yeah. Yeah. So often because that's the pattern that we've had in the past, we believe that that's what we will do because that's what our history shows. And so you have to break down your own limiting beliefs to go just because I have done this before. It doesn't mean I have to make that decision again. I know better. I know I won't feel good if I do that.

So I have to consciously make the decision not to over-indulge. And is the best part of your night going out and eating a lot of food and having a lot of drinks? Probably not. It's probably spending time with your friends. And if you don't go out, what you're going to regret is not spending the time with your friends. So make it about what you actually want to go out for, which is that time, and take away like the focus on the food. and you'll probably enjoy yourself a lot more.

Yeah, it's just getting out of the mindset of like the all or nothing approach. Yeah. It's like, like I can be really, really good and focused, but I feel bad. And like, it's not that I go out and I'm like eating rings around myself. It's more so that like I feel bad for having that meal when I could have had a better meal, if that makes sense. You know? Yeah. It's just that little voice being like,

Like, it's okay to, I suppose, enjoy the good stuff. Yeah. So obviously, have you got a fat loss goal? Is that what you're striving for at the moment? Yeah. Yeah. So at the end, when you feel like you've at the point where you've lost enough fat, what is your goal?

How do you want to feel and how do you want your life to look? That's the question that you have to ask yourself. So if your life after you've reached your fat loss goal, includes going out for dinner with friends. Your life now has to include going out for dinner with friends. Because if you lose the fat in a way where you can't do all of those things that you enjoy, as soon as you go back to living life in a way that you do enjoy, the fat will come back on because you didn't learn how to have both.

So it's actually part of learning. It's hard. I had the all or nothing mindset for years. It's hard. But you have to back yourself. you have to trust yourself, like, that it's not, that it's going to be okay and that one meal's not going to undo all the progress. Like, it'll go up for a day. The scales might go up for a day, but they'll come back down again, as long as you keep going back to how you were.

And it's about creating sustainable change over a long period of time. As I said before, like, stop. Don't set deadlines. Just keep working towards the goal and include the things that you love along the way. Yeah, you have to learn to be able to navigate through this. And that's why when, people come onto the program or if they ask about the program, they're like, oh, should I start next month because I have a load of weekends or have like a wedding or I have a christend or have a birthday party that I have to go to? And I'm like, no, you start now because you want to learn to be able to navigate through them while still getting the results you want so you can actually maintain the results you want

while still living your life. You don't want to stay at home waiting until you lose all the way and then go back out. and exactly like Emily and said you haven't learned anything then so therefore you're destined to then take 10 steps back because you haven't learned how to you know

be mindful around food make better quality choices be able to stop when you're full be able to pick better alternatives when you want to so again it's like if you have that all or nothing mindset around it

that's essentially what you're going to get you're going to get all the results then you're going to get none of the results Katrina do you want to jump in in that question I don't I don't really have, I was going to just, on that, on Sarah's point there, I'd be the exact same. I would have been the exact same.

But as you know, Carly, as you can see, but I just find it's the resetting all the time for me that I find like it's like, okay, I had a really bad, not a bad couple of weeks because I've learned to say it's not bad to go. out and socialise and have a few drinks and have food and whatever. As you said, there, Emmeline, it's better spending time with people. And I think that's very important. For me, it's like I'll have a really good weekend that I'll get my sessions in. I'll eat really well. And then I'll go out at the weekend. I'll reset the following Wednesday.

You know, it's not like Monday morning that I'm up and I'm on it. So it's kind of finding the link between resetting at the right time like the next day not leaving another two days and then I'm at the end of the week going shit I haven't got my sessions in so I need to do two sessions one after the other then I'm wrecked I'm tired and you know yeah about like getting back into it faster yeah and it does take it does take practice um I find trying not to think about it as a reset helps because you're not because those events are part of life. They're not, it's not like I'm on or I'm off because a reset sounds like again,

like that all or nothing. So it's just tonight I'm going out for dinner and then tomorrow I'm just going on with my life. It's just going out for dinner is part of my life. Tonight my meal is out with friends. Tomorrow night my meal will be home and I'll cook it myself. Like it's just a normal part of life and it's not like resetting. I thought of another point there. Another way I try and think about this is because, you know, you're like, oh, if I, if I go out for dinner with my friends, I'm not working on my fat loss goal.

And so one thing, another thing that really helped me is we don't have to have the same goal 24-7. So your main goal is your fat-loss goal. But when you're going out for dinner with your friends, your goal is to have a good fucking time and to enjoy yourself. And to not be counting calories and stressing about food. That is your goal. And then you'll wake up the next day and your goal is back on fat loss. So your goal doesn't have to be fat loss all the time. You should be focusing on what you're trying to get out of that exact experience.

Yeah. And I think that's what it is. It's getting to that mindset that this is a way of life. It's not. Everything doesn't get built around that then. You know, I think it's getting out of that mindset. that and like yourself and car were saying early on about getting a coach and getting a structured plan in place and I've had previous coaches to carl and he's the only one I've lasted with but I always found it was changing workouts and you know there was too much upheaval all the time like every time you had a call it was like okay you need to do this now because that's not working but it hadn't works because you hadn't given it a chance you know and then I'd just be like oh here I'm just

I'm over this now I'm I'm off the well I'm good look you know and I never stuck to anything and my fault I'm not the coaches on that I'm not saying but that's my I just didn't change my mindset at all yeah you know it's like if you're not seeing that result you want to change something rather than going I'm going to ride it out and I'm going to see what happens and I'm not as well as that now I'm Now I'm fine and I'm going, okay, I know I have to, for myself, I have to do my work at, I have to track my food if I'm, you know, if I don't do it, I'm not, I don't beat myself up about it. I don't go, oh, shit, now that's it. No point in doing this anymore. Yeah, absolutely. I'm not able to do it, whatever. My screen just moved around. Lucy, sorry, well done, Katrina,

thanks for that. Lucy, do you have a question that you want to ask? well yes i suppose so um hi hi thanks for your time oh anytime so okay just going back to the all or nothing approach and and you said that you overtrained what advice would you give to someone who um undertrained or found it difficult to make time or just wasn't as motivated as other people to get in the gym but when like i went to the gym today but um And I really bloody enjoyed it when I was there. I was like, this is great. But then when I'm home and life is getting in the way

and, you know, other stuff I could be getting on with, do you have any advice to motivate you to get in the gym in the first place? Okay, there's a few things. One of them is exactly what you said. You know when you go, you feel better. So constantly remind yourself, even if I don't want to go, I know once I've gone, I will feel better. I've never felt worse after a session.

So I'm just going to go. Another thing you can do is remove the roadblocks. So if you have to, like I said, let's say you go in the evening and you have to come home from work. You have to find your gym clothes. You then have to go put your gym clothes on. You have to find your drink bottle. You have to grab your bag and do all of that before you get out the door. That's a lot of things that are going to stop you from getting there.

If you, like you can eat. either go straight from work, but even if you want to come home first, lay your gym clothes out, have your bag there ready to go, have your drink bowl filled up, ready to go. And so then you know you come in, don't sit down. Sitting down is the enemy. I am really bad for that. I will sit down, pick up my phone and then I'm like, where did that two hours go? So come in and then you've got, it's there, it's that visual cue. That's ready. It's ready to go. I'm going to put those gym clothes on and I'm going to get out the door. So as many roadblocks that you can take out of it. I used to do this in the evenings because I went to the gym in the mornings.

It's called decision fatigue. The more decisions that you have to make to get there, the less likely you are to do it. So I would literally, if I got up in the morning. I don't need a lot of excuses not to go. Do you know what I mean? No, that's it. Today, like there was a van on my drive and it blocked me in.

And I thought, ah, fuck that. I can't be bothered about. Like, I'm just going to place the Dukau on my phone or something, you know. Should have pushed it out of the way, Lucy. What's that? Should have pushed it out of the way. That could have been your workout. All the brawlers.

I used to lay my gym clothes out in the evening because I knew that if I got up in the morning, I would still get up and I'd go to the gym, but I would wander around groggy in the morning going, oh, what do I want to wear? Oh, do I have to find my drink bottle? If I got my gym bag ready and my gym clothes out in the morning, I just could be half asleep getting up and putting those clothes on and that I could get out the door a lot faster and more efficiently.

There's people like Mark Wahlberg. He wears the same thing every single day to remove desks. decision fatigue just to take it out. Barack Obama's the same. So if you can take out some of those things that are going to stop you from getting there, that will really help. But just remind yourself, you'll feel better when you go, oh, and set the bar low. Don't tell yourself you have to go five times a week.

Just be like, right. I'm never going to tell myself I'm going five times a week. Just be like, all right, I want to get once and pick a day and be like, I'm going to go this day every week. And then once you do that for a few weeks, I'm going to go these two days every week. And pick a number that works for you and just be like, and hold yourself accountable. Think of it like a work meeting. You have to show up.

Yeah. Yeah, well, that's such great advice. Thank you so much. That's actually really helped me. Thank you. No worries. Rebecca, do you have a question that you want to ask? Not so much a question.

I feel like I've imposter syndrome every time I'm on these calls. Because anytime anybody asks the question, I'd be like, yeah, same. I'm not a qualified coach yet. How do you think I feel as an imposter syndrome? on this call. So we all got imposter syndrome. I was sitting here with all these people following me online going, can I hire you?

And I'm like, not yet. No, we're all impostors. I feel you a lot when you were saying you were traveling. I travel quite a lot. I'm Irish, but I live in the Netherlands, and I've been all over the world the last year. So I've always found it hard to get into a structure. And when I moved here, I said to Carl,

oh, it's okay, I'll be in a structure, I'll be on my own. I'll be in the gym three times a week. I won't get up to anything. And I didn't. I didn't do any of it. Bless them. I'm sure he wants to kill me.

But now I just, I feel the whole I'm just not motivated. What Lucy had said there, I completely get it. I had a good giggle at that. I'm just tired. I work in a pub. I'm tired all the fucking time and then I'm not eating properly. So obviously I'm going to stay tired. So it's just me getting that motivation to actually get up and do it is what I need.

Yeah, I used to work hospitality. as well. So I used to work two. At one point I worked three jobs, but I was working like 60 hours a week and still going to the gym five times a week. But that's not to say you're making excuses. That's to say I wasn't getting enough sleep. But I know what it's like to be working in sort of a pub sort of environment and it just knackers you out. It is such an intense environment to be in. You're around like, you know, high calorie, delicious food all the time. And so it's easy to make poor poor food choices. It's easy to get a shit night's sleep.

So I totally get it. It's hard to get into a routine. Same applies to you as I just said. Like set the bar low, pick one day and just try and hit that one day. The sleep will kill you. If you're not getting enough sleep, everything else becomes harder.

So my coaching advice was to quit her job. I love my job as well. So I just think he's being a little fucker. Do you just work evenings? No, I kind of just work. I am. It can be 4 a.m. It can be till 6 a.m.

I might not have 7. Like it depends. Yeah. Okay. So your times change quite a lot. Yeah. So it's hard to get a regular sleep schedule. Yeah.

And then I also, when I came into, I don't feel it's as bad now, but I do get that little bit of gym anxiety. I know nobody's looking at me. But I was real focused on going to the gym. I bought a load of sets and I was going, oh, wear this and I'm going to go to the gym. And I walked outside and there was like 20 teenagers.

and I was like, no, no fucking way. The teenagers piss me off. I mean, everyone deserves to be there, but they travel in packs. They do. Fucking intimidating day. Yeah, absolutely. Work, so then I'm gone. There's no second chance to go to.

I should have gotten a 24-hour gym. Realist would have suited me the best, but this one's only open till 11, and then it doesn't open until 6. So I was saying on some Saturdays, like, if I'm not going to finish until 6, I've all the adrenaline after work, I mean, it's like a fucking pre-workout when you're finished working at a pole. Yeah, I used to train at like 11pm when I was working at the hospital. But it's just, it hasn't, it hasn't suited my shift so far.

But it is something I've been contemplating. With your gym, are you locked into a contract? Can you change to a 24-hour gym? I'm here for the year. Dev-o. Yeah, okay, fair enough. You're not locked into the gym membership for the year, are you? I believe so.

I'll talk to them when I'm in because, obviously, we're thinking about, moving home or to France or wherever I'm going to go. I don't really fancy being locked in it for the year, but I do think so. Dutch is quite like that health insurance and everything you're locked in. Yeah. See what, like sometimes there's a cancellation fee and sometimes the cost of the cancellation fee is worth the difference that it can make to your life if you can financially afford it because everyone's like, oh, coaching is worth it and this is worth it and this is worth it.

But if you literally can't afford it, it's different. And I get that because that's me. But if it's not as bad as you like, we're thinking it is, it might be worth cancelling it to get a gym membership that's going to motivate you more to go. Yeah. Yeah, no 100%. Pass, do you have a question you want to ask? Yeah, it's kind of similar to Lucy and Becky's quondrum. I'm not a fan of the gym.

And I will find every possible reason not to go. I'll even clean the grape in the bathroom. Jesus, you hate the gym. Yeah, so like every way more important. But I'm just wondering, is there like a minimum amount of like time in the gym for optimum benefit if you get me? So like it's finding my logic like how little time can I spend in there and still see results? Is that your question? That's exactly it.

Yeah. Because I think you do that. I would say stop chasing optimal and start chasing showing up. Nothing's going to be optimal. I mean, optimally, you'd probably want to get in there for a few sessions a week. But if that doesn't suit your life or your motivation, then it's not optimal for you. Everyone's optimal is going to be different. Because my optimal was five sessions a week.

Now, I'm working like my own hours and I could actually still go five sessions a week. but it suits me better to go four because then I don't feel so stressed. And I'm still getting just as good a result out of going four because I'm getting more rest. So really everyone's optimal is going to be different. You don't need to spend an hour in there. I would say, I don't know, Carl's answers might be different to me. But like, I would say if you're getting, just to get the habit in there, if you're getting in there for once half an hour a week, amazing.

Like sometimes I'll go in there and I'll do like, if I'm just doing like a high intensity, like conditioning cardio sort of thing, I'll do 20 minutes and I'll leave. I'm in there 20 minutes and I'm gone. If I'm doing weights, I'm in there for longer so that I can get more benefit out of it. But I mean, if you show up for half an hour once a week, amazing. And then if you can get up to half an hour twice a week, that's probably solid and probably all you need.

Like just to keep everything moving. What would you say, Carl, on that one? Yeah, that's all right now. So Cass has gone from doing no workouts to doing one workout a week. And as long as she can stay consistent with that, I'm happy because for me personally, the way I see it with every single person on the program is well if you're doing a little bit more than you are currently doing

you're going to see progress and that's that's all we want to see and like remember the whole idea for me here is that okay use use these six months to ingrain habits and behaviours that you can do for the rest of your life so if it takes six months of you just consistently shown up once a week to finally not absolutely detest the gym and to be like actually you know what maybe I will go today and have that little bit of a habit ingrained,

then it's worth it. I remember reading it was, I think it was James Clear's book, I think it was James Clear, Atomic Habits. And in it he has in the book, it was like, they were trying to get someone to, it was some person who hated the gym.

And so what they did to, you know, get that to turn into a habit is they would make him show up to the gym every day for 10 minutes, but he wasn't allowed to train. He had to go into the gym, be there for 10 minutes and then leave. But like the real was you aren't allowed to train, And after the 10 minutes, you had to leave.

All right, so he continued to do this. He'd go in for 10 minutes. He would leave. He'd go in for 10 minutes. He would leave. He would go in for 10 minutes. He would leave. What started to happen and what he started to not tell the coach was that once he started to get in there after a couple of weeks,

he started to spend longer in the gym than 10 minutes. He was like, all right, well, I'm already fucking in here now. I might as well try out a few of these machines. And the next minute, after a couple of weeks, it's going from him spending 10 minutes in the gym, doing nothing to him going in there and doing a half an hour, 40 minute session. because the whole idea is that once you get yourself in there that's the biggest battle like getting through the doors that is the hardest thing

and once you do that and once you do that multiple times then you start to build up the habit and you start to actually notice the benefit of even just being in there like the power of just even being in there without training without exercising is huge but like once you're in there just things start to fall into place

you start to learn things you start to feel more comfortable in your environment lot of the reason people detest the gym is because one they're not confident in there. Two, they might not have a plan in place. Three, everything feels uncomfortable when it's a forced habit. You know, I started doing Mai Tai seven months ago. I literally went once a week, every week. And the first, I can tell you, the first 20 sessions that I did, it was a slog for me to go in there because it's really fucking difficult to be a beginner.

All right, I forgot how actually difficult it was being a beginner in something. But now after seven months of just going once a week consistently, now, I'm easily able to go two or three times and not feel difficult because it's just not as hard to walk in the door. I feel a little bit more comfortable. I move a little bit more easy. So like all I'm looking for from you right now is just to try to create some sort of consistency right whether you hate it or not because we know if you get consistent with it and

you feel comfortable in the gym, you know, the benefits long term will be worth that. Yeah. That makes sense. A hundred percent. Like one thing I've always told people is. most people can figure out how to use a treadmill and are not too intimidated by it. Yeah.

Get in there, go put it on like, I don't care if you put on the speed like two and you're basically stopped. Just get in there and walk on treadmill for five minutes and if after the five minutes you want to go home, go home. But you showed up and you started getting comfortable in the environment and started getting used to showing up. Yeah, go in there, just put on some good tunes and just even go for a walk.

It doesn't matter if you don't do any resistance train. All that will come. down the line anyway. Katrina, did you want to jump in there? Thanks. Sorry, I put my hand up there when Rebecca was talking, I think it was Rebecca, I was talking about the gym anxiety, about the teenagers. This was me for a long time. Yeah, we talked about Carl, yeah, because Carl used to ask me to record and I'd be like, I know, sorry, there was 10 teenagers in there. I wasn't putting on my video. I looked like a gobschax, or doing a certain exercise. But I actually have a 16-year-old son. So I came home one night and I was like, fucking hell, I hate it in the gym.

All your little friends are in there and they're all, like you say, they're traveling packs and they're all looking at you. They're like, mum, they're not looking at you, he says. They feel as bad as you do going in there. I know. I did when I went to the gym for the first time. I was like, what the hell am I doing? What's the weight?

He said, we have the exact same fears and anxieties that you have. And they're certainly not looking at my math. That's what he said. They're not looking at my mouth. don't worry about it. So after that then I was kind of like, okay, went the next time. I actually said hello to them.

I was, you know, chatting, just getting on with it. And then I just relaxed. So like Rebecca, it'll come and I wouldn't, now I don't care who's in there. Not, I wouldn't record now when everyone's in there. But I'll still just go about my own. Like that anxiety's gone. Yeah, I think, I think if you could read people's minds,

it would put you at ease and you realize everyone's just fucking terrified of everything. Honestly, my brain in the gym is like, what am I having for lunch? Do-to-do? Am I going to be out of lift this? Did to do? Is that person looking at me?

No, I'm looking at me. It's just like a pinball machine. No one's actually looking at you. Not there yet, but we're getting there. Annalise, do you have a question that you want to ask? So coming from, I can totally relate. And Emily, and it's so nice to meet you. You too.

You too. The overtraining, because speaking of overtraining, started a new work at this week and I hurt my back so I've been home all day. So yeah, anyways. But, and like I've always made my, like I come from a nutrition background as well. And so always did like super food planning and food prep. But I find lately I'm so just not motivated. Like I have the food at home and I always do a food shop, but I'm so tired of the same recipes and eating the same things. And I have some food intolerances that I can't, like I can't. at things I can't eat.

So that's why I've been big on food prep. But do you have any recommendations? Like I've gone on to Instagram and I recently started following you, um, since Carl mentioned you. And, Oh, you know what you should look at.

You should look at our video on bracing. My core bracing video. That's what I did. I hurt my back from, yeah, hip thrust the first time. So, um,

I have a hip thrust video as well. Okay, perfect. Because yeah, that's what I did. And right away when I told them, I hurt my back. He's like, yeah, you, you did it wrong. And I'm like, yeah, I'm pretty sure I did. But anyways, I did hip cross wrong for years. Don't you worry. You're not the only one.

Really? Oh, and like, speaking of gym anxiety, it was a totally new machine. And like, I felt like, I don't know, I was looking at the guy beside me and he like pointed to the lever to move. And I was like, thanks. Like, awesome. Thank you. So, but yeah, anyways, so for recipes, like, do you have inspiration. Like I know you make a lot of recipes and I think you're putting out a recipe book. Do you have any suggestions on where to find, like where you find inspiration? I mean, I've eaten a lot of the same stuff for years. My recipe book is out. If anyone wants it, let Carl know and I'll hook you up with a bigger discount code, Carl, and I'll send you a bigger discount code if anyone wants it. It's, um, I just, fuck around.

and find out, like, just play around with food. I literally, I literally will just be like scrolling and I'll see something. Or what I've done for years is think of a food that I like that is typically very high calorie. And they go, how can I make this fit my calories? Because obviously, you want to be eating food that you love. So my recipe book has got like six burgers in it because I love burgers. And I'm like, how can I make burgers more calorie friendly? So think of all the foods that you love and just try and figure out how to make the macro friendly. You said you've got food intolerances. Do they wipe out like half the food that you can have or are they small intolerances?

No, I can't. I'm allergic to dairy and I can't do gluten either. Oh, oh, I feel for you. Yeah, it's a double whammy, double whammy. I'm trying to think. So one of, so my, one of my exes was gluten and dairy intolerant. So I got quite good at gluten-free and dairy-free. cooking. Something that we had a lot of was Yiddos, just the meat, like the chicken Yidos meat

and chips and salad. So that was one that we had quite a bit of, like Indian. So I do like tendery chicken and rice and salad and things like that. You could do something like a chicken schnitzel, I don't know, breaded chicken. Every country calls them something different. chicken with crumbs on it with like some veggies and some potatoes. Like there's lots and lots of things you can do, but just think about foods that you love and how you can make them fit your calories. Awesome. Thank you. No worries. Annie, do you have a question that you want to ask?

Hold on. I have to mute you. I've got no sound there. I have to unmute you. There you go. Okay. I don't really have a question. It's nice to meet and listen to you. So I went to the gym for first time this week. and I have to tell you, I pissed myself laughing. I brought a friend with me because she works in the gym, supposedly.

And I said, she didn't show me how to work these machines. I had Carl in the background. And between trying to hold the phone, see what you were trying to show me to do, I actually, I swear to God, I never laughed so much in my life. Now, I felt like a twat, but she was laughing to. But then people came over and started helping us because we were like too fucking old. I don't know what we were like, but anyway, well, I had the best laugh in my life. I haven't got there since.

in relation to the book you're reading, I'm reading, well, I'm not reading it, I'm listening to it in the car when I'm going to work or whatever. I think, I don't know, so starting the program. I don't think I'm as hard on myself, like I have to get to the gym,

I have to, you know, have to do that. I'm usually very rigid or people say, you know, you've got great willpower. I actually don't think I do, but I've relaxed a little bit. So now if I get out for a walk at lunchtime, I'll actually get a lunch,

and I don't get to the gym. I just say, fuck it, I'll get there, but I can get there. So the last two nights I've tried to get there, I had to work last night. And tonight, well, I couldn't miss tonight's show because I missed last night's show. And it's just balance. And I'm just not going to give myself a hard time over it. Food-wise, I think I'm actually cop it on to that pretty good too, because I kind of make it up. Now, there's similar foods and all, but I kind of know what's what now with protein with way powder and

with my lunches. I'm not as hungry. The only thing I haven't lost is so I have I keep saying I'm an all or nothing girl. I wish I could say that about the gym but anyway I'm really referring to food and I haven't really lost to feed too

but once I don't eat at and I'm grand but it's when I start like the other night I had so I don't drink but I do drink non-alcoholic wine and there's fuck all calories in it but then I have my husband sitting beside me and he's on this third packet of tato and I'm like oh here give me a package you know and then before I know I'm on my second packet so I'm a bit of a divil

that way or you know if you started at a bar of chocolate so I buy dark chocolate now so I won't eat it all because I know it'll fill me up single serve is your best friend I am single serve like treats for lack of a better word are your best friend

I am such a sweet tooth literally I've finished dinner the last mouthful wasn't even in and I'm already looking round for something sweet. Like, I'm always, like, I always want something sweet after I've had something savory, like every time. So if you can buy things in single serve, so rather than buying a block of chocolate,

buy a packet of like the little bars for like 100 or 150 calories, because you're much less likely to overconsume them because then you have to make the conscious decision. I'm going to open another one and I'm going to open another one. And often, if you take it from the pantry, don't stand at the pantry and eat your food. it'll screw you over every time take it from the pantry go sit down do whatever you're going to do and then you actually have to go i'm going to stand up walk over there take it out unwrap it and eat it and there's like four decisions in the way to get you there so you're missing the point my husband sitting beside me with the 12 pack of tater i don't have to walk anywhere i just that does make it

harder uh that's not his fault now in fairness and then he's looking at me giving me the guilt you know gone, what's this diet you said you're on? What's this healthy living? You said your own. As I took it into another package. Stress to him how important it is to you. And also if you turn it down and he's making you feel guilty for it, his feelings are not your responsibility.

I know. I say this to a lot of people. People are like, oh, just have a bit, have a bit, have a bit. Because they want to feel better about their own decisions. But stick to your guns. His feelings are not your responsibility. And if you're like, you know what, I'm just going to have a bit. And I can guarantee this does not just apply to chocolate.

This applies to all food. How much better does the first row of chocolate taste than the last row? If you have a whole block, you enjoy that first bite. Like, oh my God, this is amazing. And by the end of it, it's just chocolate. It's just more chocolate. And the same if you have like a pizza. The first slice pizza hits so hard.

But by the eight slice, it's just more pizza. Yeah. So the, yeah. true. And just on that, because that's a really good point. You will start to notice that if you actually slow down and actually eat the food and listen to yourself while you're eating the food rather than just mindlessly at the telly and so on and so forth. Like when you start to slow down and actually save everybody and actually do that while you have while you're not hungry, right? Because a big thing with Annie, Annie only joins the

program. I think you're, what are you in a month in now, Annie? I think three weeks or something. So a big thing for Annie now is that she probably doesn't trust herself around these types of food that we're speaking about. But the whole idea is that we need to help you learn to trust yourself eating them food because before you were under eating throughout today, you were skipping meals. You weren't getting enough protein in your diet. You're not getting enough fibre in your diet. So then when you go to the press to have one of them or you go to have a pack of crisp, of course you can't stop yourself from having the second packet, third packet, fourth packet, fifth packet. Because you're underfed throughout the day. Anyway, the whole idea now is that we don't want you to stop having them things,

but we want you to have them things, you know, full up, satisfied, enough energy throughout today, actually mindful when you're having them things. And then you'll be able to listen to yourself and be like, you know what, I'm actually able to stop now because I've had it. I enjoyed the first bite, like Emmeline said, but, you know, the fourth or the fifth or the sixth. No, you're dead right. When you get to the end of it, you're just sick. You're like, oh, you feel sick. you feel sick 100%.

And that's why it's such an important thing that all of you's learned to listen to yourself when you're actually having your meals because how many times do we go when we have a dinner or we're eating out when we have a big dinner and we end up cleaning the plate just for the sake of cleaning the plate

when we're already full. Like if you were to leave them four or five bites left on the plate, you probably feel more satisfied and actually go and enjoy that meal a lot more because you stopped when you were full. And that's the same thing that Emmeline said. it's like, all right, you have the first slice of pizza, it's unbelievable.

It's a lot of diminishing returns, right? It's like the more less is more in a way. Like you have the first slice, it's unbelievable. Have the third, have the fourth. And then if you feel full stop or be like, all right, I've had half this pizza. I might have the other half tomorrow. Doing little small things like that, such a game changer in terms of just your overall eating behaviours and how that will contribute to your overall body composition changes over time.

That's the goal. I am actually, when I was trying to get out of the habit of finishing my whole play, or finishing everything in front of me because I was so bad for that. I would hoover up my plate. And then I'd be looking around going, oh, you didn't finish yours. Let me help you.

And I'll help you with yours too. Like, I could not leave food on a plate. I had to eat everything, even if I was ready to vomit. And so what I started to do was even if I was still hungry, like, well, not still hungry, but like I wasn't completely full. Like, if I went out for dinner,

I would leave like one chip on my plate. I would leave just a single chip, which sounds so insignificant and so pointless, but it was to prove to myself I can leave food on the plate because that chip is not going to be the difference between me enjoying my meal or not. So I'm just going to leave one thing there to prove that I can do it. And then, you know, you can build up that habit. And like, sometimes I can now, like, even if I plate myself up food at home, I can stop when I'm full.

And it blows my mind because I never used to be able to do that. But it's about training those little habits in that, that seem insignificant, but like take as a challenge. Like, I can leave food. Like, I'm going to leave just that little bit to prove to myself I can do it. I think that's actually one of the, one of the biggest things that you can learn on this program. It's like that is a skill.

Like, your eating behaviours are a skill. It's not about you having more willpower and stuff like that. It's about you learning to be kind of in tune with yourself when you're doing that. And like that's, like Emmeline said, it's probably a lot of it comes from probably when you're younger and stuff like that. And, you know, enforced to finish your play, having this kind of scarcity mindset around food, thinking, you know, I'm never going to have another meal again, so I need to eat this. Or if you're in this

kind of diet mentality, it's like on Monday I'm, you know, going back on my diet. So I'm not allowed to have all the chocolate or crisps and ice cream. So I better eat it all now before it's taken away from me on Monday. So like, you reminding yourself that food is an abundance and you can have whatever you want, when you want. And, you know, you don't have to finish this pizza now. You can have it later if you want like all these little things reminding yourself that you're allowed to have that whenever you want it it will it will add to the behaviour of you not overindulgent and then feeling sick and then feeling you know guilty or shame which obviously shouldn't feel around them food decisions um Corinna do you have a question that you want to ask I'm Alain

here you go hi Maline I'm I've got COVID at the moment so I've got the worst are you Australian I'm a Kiwi. I was going to say, you didn't quite, I've been over here a year. I'm starting to forget what I sounded like, but I knew you didn't sound like on this side of the world. Yeah, so I'm in New Zealand. I've got a page full of stuff because I'm, I just don't even know which one to ask you.

So I am currently on maintenance calories. Love that. because I am a such an all-on-nothing thinker. Like, I can't get past the fact that I've eaten something because I've needed it and gone over my calories. And, oh, it's just fucking annoys me. But I, yeah, what is, what I want to say? It's so hard.

So, like, how do you, I understand everything, and agree with everything that everyone, tells me and it's just like a take it up such good idea. But my brain still just wants to do things to make me lose weight. Like it's so hard. I just want to get past this point. I feel I feel like I get forward and I have a day. I had one day not long ago.

It was my first. So I didn't have any food anxiety. And I didn't realize it until I journaled that night that I'd had an even, obsessed about food that whole day and then I get back to like having a freak out again and I'm messaging Cal like I'm a fucking God like

it's just yeah I've struggled with this all my life and it's just such a I just want to get I just I'm just so tired Carl you look like you want to say something I was going to say do you think that you're never going to

like feel guilt around food again? Because you had one day where you had food freedom. That's like saying, okay, I'm never, because I had a good body image day, I'm never going to have a bad body image day again. Yeah, I actually want to touch on this. Yeah, yeah, I'll let you. I feel like I, I never, I don't know, I can't even see myself as done well sometimes, you know, like, you, you have to understand that. you improve in your relationship with food isn't an off or on switch. It isn't like, okay, now I have a good relationship

of food, now I have a bad relationship of food. Or now, you know, I'm a healthy, active person, now I'm not. It's like all we're trying to do is increase the frequency or consistency of you having better days than worse days in terms of how you think about

your actions and behaviours. So like, because you had a day where, you know, you didn't have any food anxiety around the choices that you made. So that's a win that should be celebrated and that should be encouraged more and more. And the idea is that we have more of them days over time. But it doesn't mean that because you had it one day that now all your problems are solved.

It's the repetition over time of encouragement around your food decisions that is going to end up one day you stop having guilt around food. But it will still creep in every now and again. and for now it creeps in a lot but the idea isn't that we're going to get rid of it altogether but we're just going to reduce the frequency of that happening if that makes sense it's like with your training as well

it's like you're going to train and you're going to be inconsistently training until you're consistently training but we're just trying to increase the frequency of you training rather than you just like a light bulb moment where you're just all right now for the rest of my life I'm going to train four days a week every week

doesn't work like that It's like, you know, I trained for two weeks and then I had a week off because whatever. You know, I trained for another three weeks and then I ended up not training all. Then I trained for another two weeks. And then I had a, you know, consistent role. It's where I trained. And you're just building that up over time. It's like you're inconsistent until you're consistent with everything,

what you're training, with your relationship with field, with, you know, better body image days, with all that stuff. So it's like you have to understand that you're still going to have these moments. You're still going to, you know, emotionally overeat. You're still going to have bad body image days. You're still going to have days where you're not motivated to train. You're going to have days where you skip the gym. Like if you can accept that you're going to have them days, but you also have the awareness to now know that you can get yourself.

I don't want to say back on track, but you can get yourself out of that hole. because you've done it previously and you know how better you feel. Yeah. Like you know, you know you understand like you have a better quality of life when you,

you know, do the actions and behaviours that give you more food freedom and help you to enjoy your life more. So that's all where it's, it's a process, but I understand you're just frustrated because you want to be at the finish line now.

But like Emmeline said, there is no finish line. There's no finish line. The finish line will keep, it will keep moving and keep moving. To put that part in perspective, I was about four kilos lighter than I currently am, three four kilos lighter than I currently am.

And I thought, I still need to lose weight. And I went on an insane diet. And I just cut everything down more and more and more for three months. And I got to the end of this diet. And I was the lightest I'd ever be. I was, to put it in perspective, I was 57 kilos and I was weight training. So there wasn't much of me.

And I still looked in the mirror and I thought, you know what? I could lose a bit more. I could keep going. And I actually finished that diet. I'd cut everything I loved out of my life. And I went out for dinner every single night the week that I finished because all my friends and family are like, your diet's finished. Can we take you out for dinner?

We want to go spend time with you because you've been ignoring us all for three months because you've been on this crazy diet. And I gained back the seven kilos that I lost in that 12 weeks. I gained it back in seven days. I hit land speed records for fat game. And I continued to spiral. I spiraled and spiraled and spirals. And I gained 20 kilos in eight months.

Oh, wow. So that's what I've done over the years and announced in this position. Like I feel like I'm at that start. Like I'm never going to know when I feel like when I feel good. you know like you'll know when you're there yeah i've got a fear of around ever going back to the way i was but yet that fear fuels the need to do it to myself it's so it's i get it i get it because you you constantly in this battle of like you want to keep losing fat but you know that if you you know based on past behavior if you do it aggressively you're just going to gain it all back and like

so you're like i know i need to slow down i know i need to take the right steps but i'm not seeing results from doing that and I know I can see results from doing it this way so I want to go back to doing it that way but then it's not going to stick and it's this constant battle in your head of what is the right thing to do because I want something that's sustainable but I also want to see the results now and it is such a frustrating thing to do but I can guarantee you would rather rather than going all right I've lost five kilos 10 kilos amazing I did it in like 10 weeks smashed it. And then in the next 10 weeks, you gain half of it back again. And then in the next 10 weeks, you gain half of it back again. All of a sudden, you're back where you are.

And so you spent six months to gain and lose the same weight. What if you spent that six months, instead of doing a loss and a gain, you just slowly tipped away at the loss. And then at the end of the six months, you're where you were after three months, but you're still there. You're not, you're not going, oh, I've done this in such a fast way that I feel like I've over-restricted and I want to eat everything else again. You feel like, like you can just sort of keep going. And that's, that's when the penny dropped for me, when I stopped setting deadlines and when I was just like, I'm just going to start shipping away, do the habits that I know will get me there and I will see how fast it gets me there.

And I went on like a really steady sustainable fat loss after that and it just kept ticking because I wasn't stressed about how fast it was going. I'm just like, I'm just going to keep showing up. And I think I'm at that point. Okay, like things consistently are working for me. you know, like, and I just need to forget that whole fastness of it. Yeah. Something really important I wanted to add to what Kyle said about you saying, you know, you have like, you have an off day. Yeah.

And you're like, oh, I feel crap today or I've eaten too much today. You cannot fuck this up. This journey that you are on, you can't fuck it up. You can't. Because as long as you keep going, You haven't failed. You can't fail if you're still going. It's only if you go, that's it.

I'm going to be a fat piece of shit and hate myself forever. That's when you fail. Like, so you just, you can't, you can't fuck it up. When I tried to quit binge eating, I was binging more days in a week than I wasn't. Like I was very, very deep in it and I had no control around food. And I was like, all right, I'm really, I'm really going to do this. and then it went to like, oh my gosh, like I haven't, I haven't been like four times this week. I've only been just like three times this week.

And then the next week like, oh, I've only been just twice this week. And then like, you know, the time in between just kept getting bigger and bigger. But I think I got like three, four months without a single binge. And then I went on like a two-day binge. And I was like, oh my God, I've undone all my hard progress. That's it. Like I fucked everything because I, I, I, I, I was fixed.

I was fixed for like three months. And now what's wrong with me? Because I'm back binging. Just because you've had a good period of time doesn't mean that you'll never fuck up again or fall back into old habits. But you haven't fucked up. You're just still getting rid of those habits. And I'm probably a year, year and a half binge free now, which is fucking nuts.

I still overeat. But the difference between an overeat and a binge is overeating is for me now is like, an active decision. I'm just going to have a little bit more than I probably should today. Whereas before, it was like I actually had no idea what I was doing and I would turn around five minutes later feeling completely sick going, oh my God, I demolished 2,000 calories in five minutes. What just happened?

What did I even eat? And so the time between will get more, but you will fail and you will fail again and you will fail again, but you won't fail completely if you just keep going. Okay. That's good. Great advice. It's normal. It's normal to fuck it up.

I'meline, I'll ask you the last question and then we'll wrap it up. So in terms of the whole group, not fucking it up by essentially not quitting their journeys and keep going, what would your advice be to everyone in the group to, you know, stay consistent? But when I'm inconsistent, I mean like, you know, do this for the long haul, for the rest of their lives. What would your advice be to them? just keep showing up you're never going to have like you might get like one perfect day like every few months you're never going to have consistent perfect days it's about doing what you can so if one day all you can do is drink two liters of water and you don't get to the gym and you go over your

calories and you don't get enough sleep it doesn't matter you still ticked one thing off I don't know, Carl, whether you've touched on zero days with Lewis yet, but that's what he talks about. So having no zero days. So everything that you want to achieve in a day is worth one point. If you tick off one thing, you've got one point on the board as a minimum and you're not having a zero day. You've done one thing that gets too close to your goal. And some days you might get five points. And some days you might get one point.

Sometimes you might get three points. Every day is going to be a different score. but if you can never have a zero, you're always going to be one step closer to your goals. On your Instagram, it says small wins equal big change. Yes, that's me. That's what I'm a big believer in,

because if you do everything at once, you're guaranteed to go, nah, fuck this shit, it's too hard. So just do a little bit at a time and it will build up over time. Emily, listen, we really appreciate you coming on today. Thanks for answering all the questions and giving all this value tonight for the clients. I really appreciate. Thanks for everyone for coming on, for staying on for for sharing as well.

We'll get this recording sent out to the rest of them. But Emilyne again, thank you very much for your time. Thank you so much for having me on and you guys can message me if you have any questions like if you want more recipe ideas or if you will have questions on binge eating or gym or anything like that. Send that recipe book into me and I'll send a link into the group, yeah? Yeah, I'll give you a discount code. I'll go make one now and I'll send you a discount code for it. Deadly. All right. Thanks a meal. Amazing. Thank you everyone. Enjoy your night. Everyone. Appreciate you.

Bye guys. Bye. Thanks for watching. If you like that episode and you want to see more content like this, make sure you're subscribed and I'll see you on the next one.