The Uneducated PT Podcast - Ep 109 | Food Freedom, Life Lessons & Building a Business That Lasts.

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

In this powerful follow-up episode with Sophia Harris, we dive deep into her unapologetic takes on food, body image, and what really matters in life. From wisdom shared by a 90-year-old neighbor to the truth about “What I Eat in a Day” posts, Sophia pulls no punches on why comparison culture, diets, and quick fixes won’t bring happiness or health. We also explore the realities of building a fitness business over the last 7 years — lessons that apply to anyone chasing big, scary goals. Sophia shares the importance of failing forward, surrounding yourself with the right people, knowing your values, and remembering that collaboration beats competition every time. Expect raw honesty, laughter, and plenty of quotable moments. Whether you’re here for food freedom, business wisdom, or a reminder to live life on your own terms, this episode will leave you inspired to fuck around, find out, and make choices that actually serve you.

I met one of my 90-year-old neighbours properly for the first time the other day. I was walking past his house with the dogs and he ventured down to the end of the driveway. He told me all about his life. He told me that I needed to enjoy life and cherish my dearest because it's gone in a blink, which made me super grateful for fixing my relationship with food and body image. I've never met an old person who said, I'm so glad I spent my whole life on a diet. And I don't...

How you read in my words has given me goosebumps. I thought that was so good I thought that was very, very insightful. I think it's like a really good reflection. Do you think when people obviously pursue going on a diet because they want to improve the quality of their life, right? But then a lot of times then people end up losing the fires for the trees and it's like they pursue something because they want a better quality of life

but somehow they end up having a worse quality of life before. Yeah, like we're sold a lie. that fat loss is the key to happiness and look right, we can't skirt around the fact that for some people, fat loss will improve health. But I'm a massive believer that fat loss should be a phase. It's not a way to live your life. It's not something we should become obsessed with.

And any health and fitness goal should add to your overall quality of life. So if somebody wants to lose body fat or whether it is for health or aesthetic reasons, cool, brilliant, fine. But unfortunately for a lot of people, they either go round in circles with their weight and spend the whole life yo-yo dieting or they become obsessed with fat loss and take it too far and then live at the extreme of being too lean

or looking healthy but maintaining that body through disordered eating behaviours, which is only going to reduce your overall quality of life. And Roger, oh my God, bless him. I fucking love old people. Like we can learn so much from them. So I'd seen him quite a few times. It lives down the road.

And it was always, be at the end of his drive, because he's got a really big house, but with family. So I'd just say hi and then like wander past. But, you know, when you can tell somebody wants to chat, he was literally waiting at the end of his drive for somebody to walk past.

And I was like, if I've not got 10 minutes out, of my day for him, then what is life really? Yeah. I love, I love that. Like I, and you obviously know that I'm on this kind of big like introspective journey of like community and connection and talking to talking to people and making time for people as well. And I think that's one thing that we very much lack in society is like, you know, talking

to the older generations and like get, because it used to be a thing like back in the old days where it's like like the, the oldest person was always the way. why is this person that people would go to for wisdom and stuff like that. And somehow it kind of went the other way, it's like, oh, that's an old person, you know, they're delusional, they don't know what they're talking about, you know, I can do things on my own or I don't have to listen to anyone. Well, we're now more likely to listen to a 21 year old in his mom's box room, preaching on social media, than we are people that have real life experience.

Yeah. Which is so sad because they've got so much wisdom. I actually did some work with an old people's home where I went in and I worked with the staff to help them with nutrition from like a practical perspective because I went in and it was all like chicken nuggets and scones and I was like, okay, this is fun but let's add some fruit stick of yogurt as well.

And then they asked me to do a talk with the older people because I was like it would be so great if they understood why their buffet lunch wasn't just beige anymore. And do you know what? It was one of the best days in my career so far, just like chatting to all these old people. And after at the end, I made a point. And I always do.

I made a point of asking them, what do you wish you could tell you younger self? Not one of them was like that I needed to be skinnier. Or like, you know, it was all about any. enjoying life and making memories and it's stuff we know right but we often move so far away from that without realizing and when so many people have wrapped up with taking advice from the wrong sort of people I think it can be easier to lose sight of what actually matters in life which I know we both definitely agree on yeah yeah it's it's a funny one isn't it because like

going back to even like like you said it's like uh i'm i'm so glad i i'll never i'll never hear an old person say i'm so glad i spent my whole life on a diet and i don't think i ever will it's like because they quickly realize after or people just quickly realize after you know a certain amount of time that you know what's what's most important is the relationships in your life not you know can i control you know the number on a scale or, you know, can I control my diet? And I think you're right. I think it's like people who do constantly go back to, oh, I need to go on another diet or I need

to control my food or I need to control my weight. It's like every time they don't feel happy in life for whatever reason, you know, the answer is, oh, maybe I just, I feel crappy. So I need to lose weight and then I'll be happy. Yeah. Yeah. And it's so easy to blame your body. Yeah.

then actually take a real deep look at what else isn't going right in your life. And I think as well, with the whole, I don't think an old person I'll ever look back and be grateful that they were on a diet the whole life or whatever it was I said. Like, if somebody is going to diet and lose body fat, absolutely fine, but you aren't ever going to look back and remember that.

You're going to look back at the memories that you made, the slice of cake that you shared with your kid at the birthday party, the ice cream you had on the beach, the tap as you shared with friends over some nice wine, those are the things that you remember. You don't look back and think, oh, I'm really grateful I said no to this, this and this. But I think it's really difficult

because we live in a society that praises weight loss over and above anything else. Like, you know, if somebody builds a business or like starts a family after years of trying or buys a new house or just goes to therapy and does the deeper work, somebody who's achieved a weight loss transformation will get so many more compliments, so much more praise, so many more people clapping for them.

And I don't think we should do any of that stuff for people clapping, right? But that is so much more validated within society as success. then actually people looking inwards and being like, maybe shrinking my body isn't going to give me what it is that I'm looking for. And we support clients with that every day, right? You know, we honour their body composition goals. We support them with that. But we also get them to think about what they actually want from life.

And we ensure that anybody composition goals support that. Do you think that it's a lesson that everyone eventually learns? and do you think there's a way for people to learn it quicker so they can actually enjoy life more from a younger age? I think a lot of people learn that lesson the hard way. Yeah. Like I did. Like I got the smaller body.

The first time I got it was through eating disorders. So that was fucked. The second time I got it was through, like I'd recovered from eating disorders, but still had very disordered eating. And I got the body, got the abs. And I was like, oh, is that it?

Like, it wasn't this massive enlightening experience where all of my problems disappeared in life with sunshine and rainbows because that's not reality, right? So I think some people find that out through going through that for sure. As far as, is there a way of people realizing it sooner? I think a lot of people start out on a health and fitness

journey for aesthetic reasons. And whether they achieve them or not, it then becomes about so much more than their body composition. So I think, and again, so many people these days are, like, we're having these conversations, which wouldn't have happened 10 years ago. More people are talking about this stuff, but it's not sexy. We're not splashing photos of our clients in their pants all over Instagram and doing, I loved your post today about like we don't oil our clients up and cover them in tan or whatever it was. I was like, thank fuck you don't.

Like, can you imagine your community who are incredible, by the way? They would absolutely rip the shit out of you if you tried to get them to do that. I'd be embarrassed trying. They just give me stick and help you to fuck off anyway. So it's fine. Yeah. But like that sort of stir,

it isn't life changing. And so many people we know, now more than ever, are struggling with isolation, loneliness, a lack of connection. And they realise that actually those things can't be found in constantly trying to diet and going round in circles. Do you think business owners fall into the same trap of like, you know, just like,

if I go on another diet and I lose weight, then I'm going to be happy, I'm going to be content and they realize that they're not. And then I suppose business owners, even when they preach, maybe that message, they fall into the same trap themselves of, you know,

when I, you know, make a certain amount of money, then, you know, I'll be fulfilled, then I'll be happy, then I can start enjoying my life. Or I'll hit a certain amount of followers and then, you know,

I'll be fulfilled and then I'll have purpose and then I'll be someone and, you know, constantly, trying to fill that void. Yeah, it's like that. Have you heard of that destination happiness? Mm.

Where people think, oh, well, when I get this amount of money or when I hit this number of followers or achieve this definition of success, then I'll, you know, I'll be fulfilled. I'll have done it. I can tick it off. I'll be successful. But actually, it's so often what we learn along the journey. of reaching those goals that teaches us about life. Yeah.

And allows us to realize what we value and what's important to us. And it's the lessons that we learn as we go. It's not that end point. Because as a business owner, and you'll know this, that endpoint can constantly be moving. Yeah. Like you won't ever be done as a business owner. There's always more money to earn.

There's always new things to set up in different levels to the success. you want to achieve if we look at it in that way. But I think more people need to work out what their definition of success is, like how they want to live their life, what success is day to day, and then work on a business that supports that. More people are realising this as well, by the way. I've, you know, more and more of the people that we know mutually are like, I've had all of this and, you know, I've built this.

But actually, I feel the happiest and the most. content and the most fulfilled when I'm with friends, when I'm with family. So I want my business to be able to support that. And that's something that I've realized this year more than ever myself as well. Yeah. It's for it's it's it's it's a hard one, isn't it? Because it's like you're trying to balance this push and pull of ambition because like if you don't do anything, you'll probably go and say because like, you know, you're probably you're probably designed to to want to build something and create something and be fulfilled and have purpose through that. So it's like you you constantly have this ambition to do a little bit more,

to do a little bit more, to do a little bit more, to do a little bit more. But then you have to kind of balance that with also just gratitude of being where you are and understanding, you know, you can be happy and content right here where you are now, even if you're still trying to be ambitious and pursue more. And then like if we think about Roger, you know, saying, enjoy, a lot you enjoy your life because it's gone in the blink of an eye it's like when you're stressing out about trying to you know do the emails or make the calls or you know prep for the whatever it is that you have going on it's like also being like all right can how can I pull back a nice

little prompt that I keep on saying these days now especially when I get really like stressed or anxious if I have something big coming up it's like you know how can I how can I enjoy this more how can I um how can I be happier while doing this and I actually say that to myself like or I to myself, okay, you asked for this, so just enjoy it. Like if I'm putting constant pressure on myself, it's like, because sometimes when I, when I am under pressure or I'm feeling anxious over a certain project or whatever it is, I find a, I find that very difficult to then be present with friends or present with my family. And like, they're trying to have a conversation with me and I'm thinking about something else. And I'm like, ah, like, that's me. I'm taking, I'm taking away

the moments of my life, which make up my life by not being present. And it's, it's difficult because it's like, you're trying to be ambitious. You're trying to pursue something, but you're also trying to make sure that you enjoy every single moment and be in that moment as well. Yeah. You can do both though, right? Like, when I look back, I realize probably the first three, four years of building my business.

I was not present at all. Like the whole time I was with other people, I'd be fucking going for a piss and taking my phone to reply to clients or to check my emails in between, trying to sit with my friends and they're not really focusing on catching up with anyone or listening to what they're saying. And that is a real shame. And we learn as we go. Like I'll still look back on some moments now and be like,

fucking hell. I was just not present. I wasn't enjoying it. I wasn't in the moment. And when we think about like what Roger was saying, or I bet as well, if he could go back to one moment in his life, It'd be with his wife, sat around the dinner table, just doing normal life stuff.

It wouldn't have been when he was studying or when he was building or when he was getting promoted or earning more money. And I'm not saying we can't work towards those things. I do think that push, pull and that balance is important. But when we look back at the times we wish we'd had more of, it's always going to be just normal day-to-day life stuff that we often take. for granted or we're constantly chasing and pushing so we miss those moments. Yeah. And I think if you take that in the context of weight loss and like you said, weight loss can be a great thing for people or diet and can be a great thing for people. If it's the case where it's like, you know,

I'm losing, I've lost weight and now I feel more confident and therefore I'm not in my head and I feel present. I'm not thinking about who's staring at me or anything like if I'm, you know, on a night out or I'm having a meal with my friends or my family. So now that like, you know, I've built this confidence through weight loss or whatever it is. And I can sit here and be present with my relationships and it makes it all that better. But then again, like you said, it can go to the complete opposite way of that where it's like you're not present because you're constantly thinking, oh, you know, I need to lose another couple of kilos or, you know, I look big in distress or, you know, whatever it is. And so it's constantly like all that chatter up in your brain whether, you know, that the pursuit of weight loss is going to be a help or hindrance to them experiences in your life. Yeah. Well, we see it on a scale, right? Like the research shows us up until a certain point, weight loss can improve body confidence, life experience.

Because we know society is shit to fat people. It is. People judge. People. say stuff like the world isn't designed for people in larger bodies and that is an issue that is we shouldn't just accept that and there's lots of people doing amazing work to make the world more inclusive but we've got a long way to go and i do think society in general is fatphobic so it makes life harder for fat people so there's the whole body confidence and life being easier when people are in a healthy size body, like that's true, but also society does make life harder for fat people. So we do see up until a certain point,

weight loss can improve quality of life for a lot of people. It can improve confidence. But the problem we have is when that tips over to become obsessive and disordered. So we know that with weight loss, people are probably going to be monitoring food. They're going to be weighing themselves.

looking for progress visually. But when it gets past the point of being helpful and it becomes harmful, it's when people feel like they are trapped with tracking calories and they have to constantly be doing that or they've got to weigh themselves every day. And if the number doesn't go down or it isn't the same, then that impacts their mood. Or people are constantly body checking. So like, I remember when I would lift my top up to look at my stomach, probably about 50 times a day. And if my stomach had changed, which of course it does as you eat food

and throughout the month and your body's supposed to change anyway, that would influence my mood. So even though I was in shape, it was having a negative impact because of how obsessive and how much I was basing myself worth on looking at my stomach

and over-analysing myself. Like some people can't walk past shot windows without looking at themselves and looking at their stomach or the parts of the body that they don't like. So that is where fat loss becomes detrimental for more people than what we would realize because it's so easy for those behaviours to spiral out of control. There's not many people that go on a fat loss journey, achieve the weight loss they want to achieve that's healthy for them and then work on that maintenance part of knowing

weight will fluctuate up a little bit, but they can sort of effortlessly sit around a number because they are in a healthy lifestyle routine and they're exercising for the right reasons. They're nourishing their body. They don't have to micromanage everything. They know that maintenance means a few pounds up, a few pounds down and they don't base their worth on their body having to look a certain way. There's not many people that have that story on a weight loss journey. And again, that is something we support our clients. with but it's hard to come across people that have that experience of fat loss. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of mistakes have to be made along the way. Yeah. 100%.

Yeah. Um, What I Eat in a Day posts add more noise, more comparison, more overwhelm, more second guessing, more confusion, which is why you won't see that sort of content from me. Can you explain to the listeners a little bit more about, uh, you know, what I eat in a day video is a little bit videos, a little bit of nuance about them and why you don't promote them. Yeah. I mean, for the sorts of people we work with, they are rarely helpful. I think they can be helpful for some people from a recipe perspective or if somebody wants to look at a set amount of calories and have a meal plan example, that could be useful.

But they can do more harm than good when they. they start with a body check, when they come from privileged people who aren't recognising their privilege. Like if I was to post, what I eat in a day, I'm self-employed, work from home, I can afford a food shop that's mainly whole foods, I've got time if I can be asked to cook meals, I'm qualified as a nutritionist so I know how to put a meal together. Like my what I eat in a day reel doesn't disclose any of that. It doesn't disclose that the position I'm in is so privileged compared to even just the average person who's got kids to feed or a tighter food budget or they aren't educated in nutrition and they don't have the time

to cook meals from fresh. So it wouldn't be practical. It wouldn't be realistic. The reason my body looks the way it does has nothing to do with one day of eating that I choose to show Instagram. Like I work with fitness influencers who pay. post what I eat in a day content and they're not eating the food. That's crazy. Yeah. Like, it's wild.

Like, one of them, she does food prep and it'll last three days, but she pretends it's a meal. Another one, it is her girlfriend's food. So she's not actually eating a lot of the stuff she posts. Or she's making food for a girlfriend and then pretending it's hers. Like, I worked with an influencer in the past who got to a really good place. actually. She's she's not working with me anymore. But she would go out to restaurants and be paid

to like film content in the restaurants, but she wouldn't be eating the food. It'd be friends that were. She would just pretend that she was. So not all of this content is lies, but even if the content is reality, it's probably not realistic for the people that are taking it as war and peace. And also, a lot of people have eaten the way they've eaten for a very, very long time and they've trained in certain ways for a very long time. And that's what's resulted in their body composition, not the ways that they eat now. Yeah. Yeah. And I've also found even with them videos, I don't see a lot of them videos where they actually put the calories and the macros or anything on them. I know some do. And like, if you're someone who doesn't even understand,

I understand calories and macros and you're just like most people who don't really understand nutrition. They just, they just see food and think, oh, they're eating that food. So if I eat that food, I would look like them. And like it could be someone, you know, I think I've seen one and like, someone broke down their what you eat in a day video and it came to like, you know, 1,200 calories or something, or 1,200 calories. And like, if you're someone who was, you know, 5 foot 9 or something like that or 511 or whatever, and like you're not going to be you know you tried to you tried to follow that meal and you know it's it's gonna last um not very long before before you're you're craving craving everything because you just haven't consumed the calorie requirements that that you need so it's like i know i know like you said that there it can be maybe helpful for food ideas and stuff like that but usually the people that are asking for food ideas are the people who need help with everything else other than the food ideas 100%. And also, if you think about the example you use there, think about it on the opposite end of the extreme. Like some days, I eat like, well, I haven't tracked food for ages. But I imagine like some days I eat, some days I'll eat 2,000 calories. Some days it might be 3,000. If I chose the food that I'd eaten on a day where I ate 3,000, most people would gain, most women would gain weight if they ate that. But I've got a large amount of muscle mass, a resistance, train regularly. I'm super active with the dogs again because of my privileged lifestyle and I'm

able to do all of those things. So the food that I can eat to maintain my body composition is completely different to the food that somebody else would need to eat to build their body composition. So it's really unhelpful from that perspective because so many fitness influencers are doing like 20,000 steps a day. They do cardio. They do weight training. So So, you know, a mum of three who can fit in a couple of gym sessions a week will only feel worse for looking at that and thinking, oh my God, look how lean she is and all of that food she can eat. It's not fair because all it does is take people away from what they actually need to focus on for themselves. Yeah. And another thing that we would say about that as well is like they're playing to the algorithm so they're going to make the most aesthetically looking meals.

which will probably take a little eternity to make if you're a busy mum of tree. Oh my God. When I look at Courtney Blacks, what I eat in a day. Like, it starts with a body check where she's looking absolutely shredded and a matching gym set. I'm sorry, who the fuck sits around in the house in like skin tight? Whatever she wants to wear, she looks incredible. I'm not bashing it from that perspective. But most people don't sit around the house in matching gym sets.

I know I definitely don't. And then everything is organic and cooked from scratch and, you know, takes all of this time and all of these expensive ingredients, which then makes people think, oh, I have to cut out processed foods or I have to buy everything and cook all of my meals from scratch to be able to look that way,

which is not realistic for the majority of people. Yeah, that was my peppy. with the like organic food thing especially like with people who you know come from low socioeconomic backgrounds it's like oh like you do not need to follow that and pay more for your shop list just because you know some wellness influencer told you that you should be eating all organic um another one from you whatever you do however you choose to live your life however your body changes people will judge so you might as well do whatever you want to do change your body however you wish or allow your body to naturally change throughout life just like it's supposed to because regardless people

will judge do you have any advice for you know people who are maybe struggling with you know pursuing some sort of aesthetic goal or just trying to get in shape and constantly feeling like they're being judged i'll give you an example i'll give you an example as well so i had uh someone reach out to me the other day and they were saying that you know they really enjoyed they started to take up running because that they enjoyed it. But sometimes they found themselves not wanting to leave the house in case they were seen in public running because they were, yeah, they were concerned that or they were worried that people would judge them for running because they didn't, you know, look like a runner. And, you know, I was like, and it's the same thing you see. You see all this time in the, in people kind of looking to kind of get a gym membership.

they're like, oh, when I lose a little bit of weight or getting shaped, then I'll join the gym because they're afraid of being judged. This is why these conversations are so important because fitness is for everybody. And I mean, everybody is in like everybody's shape, size, ability. And I think it's really, really hard. Like, you know, we're talking about this on a podcast, having worked through lots of this ourselves, but there'll be times when we still feel judged. And that's us both in societally acceptable bodies as well. So it's really hard, but you almost want to try and focus on the fact that

nobody gives a fuck, but people will still judge. And that sounds really contradictory. And it's both things, right? So people will always judge at face value, because as humans, that is human nature. It's, we can't escape it. But, then everybody is also so wrapped up in their own world and their own lives that even if they've judged initially or had a negative thought, it's not something they remember. Whether it's a negative thought or a positive thought, and a great example of this I used with a client who was getting really overwhelmed and upset and frustrated about going to the gym because she was worrying about people judging her and her body. I said to her right, when did you last go to the gym?

Monday night last week. Okay, cool. Tell me about the people that were in there when you were training. I don't remember. So you don't remember anybody's body, anybody's outfit, whether somebody had a sports bra on inside out or, you know, she was like, no, literally nothing. I was like, that's because you're in your head thinking about your workout. You're stressing about what everybody else thinks while everybody else is stressing about what everybody else thinks and you don't actually remember what anybody looked like anyway it's like the same you know when people stress about what they're going to look like in swimwear on holiday well the last time i went abroad which was greece last year i can't tell you what one person's body looked like i don't remember do you

no no like you always think oh my god like everybody's going to think all of these awful things about me and my body. But you're not that fucking relevant. Yeah, and that should be liberating. It should. It really should because everybody is just cracking on, doing the best that they can in the situation that they're in. And I tell you what as well,

if people are judging you, they are judging themselves more. Yeah. Because I've never looked. Well, I say that. I was going to say I've never looked at somebody in a gym and thought, or they shouldn't be here or they don't look like they should be in the gym. That's a lie. When I was judging myself, I was definitely judging other people.

And I'm not afraid to admit that, even though at the time it will have definitely made me a shit person. Like, if people are judging you and thinking negative things, they are judging themselves 10 times more. and actually if the fear of what other people might think hold you back, you will never get to where you want to be because to one person, you'll be too skinny. To another person you'll be too big. To someone else, you'll be too muscular. To another person you won't have enough muscle.

Like you can't, if you try and please everyone, you just end up losing yourself completely. And the only person, and people know this already, right? The only person you should work on trying to please is yourself. And if you've got your own body composition goals, you want to work on absolutely fine, but also knowing that your worth and value as a human does not depend on the shape and size of your body.

I think that can really help people focus on the healths of training or putting themselves out there when maybe they don't feel 100% comfortable and allow them to realize that actually nobody, gives the shit because we're not that important. You don't have an information issue. You've got an implementation problem. All the recipes, meal plans and calorie targets you could get, you could get on Google.

Do you think that's a mistake people make is thinking that I just need someone to give me a meal plan and then I'll be able to get the result I want or, you know, I'll be able to fix myself. 100%. Because we've all been there as well, right? Knowing what to do is not the problem. Pretty much everybody knows what to do, but most people can't do it, or they can't do it consistently enough to get results. That's the famous line, isn't it?

I know what to do, I just can't seem to do it. Yeah, every new client phone call I have, they say that. And I'm like, well, tell you what, me too. Like, this is why good coaches have coaches. Because as humans, we always want the quick fix. We always want the shortcut, the magic pill. And with so much of what we're talking about, there just isn't. And life happens, we want the easy option.

That is a natural human drive. So people need to stop judging themselves for knowing what to do but not being able to do it and think, right, how can I get myself to do what I need, know I need to do more of the time? And quite often that can be a coach, a PT, community, some sort of accountability that at the end of the day,

when you fucking exhaustives, I've agreed with my friend that I'm going to meet her there and I don't want to let her down. Like those little things, you know, quite often I have to bribe myself with a cup of coffee. It's like, I'm going to go out and do my walk because I drink my coffee on my walk.

And that gets me out there, that gets me doing that. And the more you do these things, the better you feel for doing them, so the easier it is, but a lot of the time it's still not easy. Yeah. Like, have you heard of cognitive dissonance before?

Yeah, yeah. So that is, if anybody's listening and they know what to do but can't do it, message me or Carl, because I've built a guide on this for people to bridge that gap and be able to do what they know they need to do more. So cognitive dissonance is where people have a very push-pull mindset,

where it's like, I know what to do, but I'm not doing it. And then they feel extremely frustrated because it's like, it's like somebody having values of health and saying that health is important to them, but then never making the time to do a proper food shop or not going to the gym. So it's like, I value this thing, but I'm not doing it. And that causes so much internal turmoil, so much of an internal battle that can absolutely destroy people. And that in itself can cause so much frustration. that people do nothing.

Yeah. So actually, knowing that this is a real thing, it's a studied psychological human trait and tendency, can allow you to meet yourself where you're at. And, you know, a lot of coaches talk about small, steady steps in the right direction. I think that can be helpful for some people. But we know for others, actually,

a whole lifestyle overhaul can work as well. So it totally depends on what's really, and achievable for you, but sometimes committing to loads and completely changing what you do and how you eat and how you move, that can feel so good really quickly. So then that is motivation for people to keep doing it more. So I actually think sometimes when we say to people, slow, steady steps, just add a thousand steps a day, that can feel like not enough results. to push on with it. So sometimes with clients,

I'm like, actually, you've got the capacity in time for us to really fucking shake things up. So that's what we do. And then other clients, I know that would be too much. So it depends on the sort of person that you are, but a lot of people think to do what they know they need to do,

they have to be motivated, but motivation only comes from momentum when you're actually doing the stuff. So we have to find ways. of getting that ball rolling, quite often it's forcing it and knowing it will be an effort. It'll be difficult. I don't think enough coaches talk about that. We want to pretend it's all sunshine and rainbows.

But a lot of the most impactful coaching work that I do with clients is telling them to just fucking do it. I don't care if you're tired. I do care if they're tired. Of course I do. But there's never going to be a good time. You're always going to be busy. You're always going to be stressed.

So just get it done. And then when you continue to get it done and you start seeing the results you want, it'll feel worth it. But it won't feel worth it until you get to that point. That makes a lot of sense. I think it's, I've found the same thing where like obviously it's, it's client dependent, right? It's like everyone, everyone's an individual and you have to take them on an individual basis.

But I found, you know, I have two kind of almost sets of clients, one where you have to pull them back and be like you need to do less and then somewhere it's like you do need to actually force them and push them and say do more because you have every I don't want to use the word excuse but you know the minute you start to take action then then that starts to have a ripple effect and for for some clients for me it is like I'll get them come down to the gym six days a week and and actually like jump on that kind of motivation to get them started because even if they come in for half an hour every day and just do a little bit. They're getting, it's the, it's the exposure into the place and now they feel

comfortable and now they can stay here longer and then we can pull that back over time. Whereas someone else, it might be, okay, they have, you know, a full-time job and three kids and they can only get in, you know, maybe twice a week and, and that's enough for them to, to make progress with their resistance training. Yeah. I think it's being honest with clients as well and letting them know we can go slow and steady, but then progress will be slow and steady. And if you're happy with that, that's cool. But there's a lot of fitness influencers out there who, you know, will say, oh, it's all sunshine and rainbows. Like, if you're doing no gym sessions now, just do half a gym session a week.

And for some people, that isn't motivating enough for them to feel that it's worth it. So I think, yeah, it totally depends on knowing your client and knowing what's best for them as well. No field in isolation is healthy or unhealthy. it is your intention behind a food choice that determines if it supports your health or not. Yeah. Yeah. This is where all the demonising of food we see can just fuck right off

because like all foods serve a purpose within a balanced diet. It depends on how that food makes you feel and how that food choice then influences other choices and actions. So if somebody, this is why we can't ever say like tracking calories is always disordered. Yeah.

You know, if somebody's choosing to track calories because they're on a fat loss journey, they're being cautious with it, like they're seeing it as a fat loss phase, cool. Whereas if somebody is tracking their calories because they've got an immense fear of eating food that somebody else has cooked for them or they feel that if they don't track calories, they are less of a human and they're terrified of gaining body fat, that's an unhealthy intention.

If somebody says, GLP ones cause disorder, we'll make it more relevant for today. GLP ones are injecting diet culture. That was another one that I heard, which is wild. But yeah, like if somebody says no to a brownie with their coffee because they've gotten a habit of going to a cafe four times a week and always having a brownie and they're,

this is me talking to myself here. And they're a little bit cautious that four brownies a week might be slightly excessive, that's not disordered. Whereas if somebody goes to a cafe and looks at the brownies and wishes they could have one, but he's terrified of what will happen to the health if they have a brownie, that's some unhealthy intention. So it's exactly the same action, but it's the thought process and the intentions behind it that determine whether it's harmful or not.

Yeah, yeah. Your perception around the tool or the food or whatever it is, that is going to determine whether it's disorder or not. Yeah. That's such a hard thing for people to be self-aware of at the time. Well, yeah, because we want fixed answers. We want no brownie or brownie.

We don't want to be told, well, how do you feel about that and what are your reasons for it? And also as well, right, it could be a different intention in different situations. Yes. So I know that some coffee shops I'll go to. maybe they've got great coffee but the cakes aren't banging so i'm not going to have one like and that isn't an unhealthy intention it's just because it's not worth it and it could be at different

points in someone's journey the intentions are different as well like there have been times where i wouldn't have allowed myself to have one for fear of weight gain or like screwing up my diet so that's an unhealthy intention whereas that intention would be completely different now so there isn't a fixed answer. There's no black and white. And that's often what people want when they work with a coach or a nutritionist. But then if, and obviously we can guide clients and we can support them to come to those decisions themselves. But ultimately we want clients that are self-sufficient that can work out how to approach each situation for themselves. Yeah. You need to be able to coach them to find the answer themselves rather than give them the answer. Yeah, 100%. All right.

don't have much time left. So this is Sophia's reflection of life and a little bit of a little bit of your experiences through life and what these what these quotes essentially mean to you. So number one, this is this is seven years, seven years building a fitness business and the lessons that you have learned throughout that pursue. All right. So if you were waiting for the perfect time, perfect setting, perfect circumstances, then you'll never be successful. Yeah, it's so true. Life's happening now, right?

Now is time. We won't ever be ready. And I think so many people wait until they feel ready in its past. It's gone. So yeah, such a shame that so many people hold themselves back because they think, oh, I can't fit it in.

Life's too busy. I've got too much on. None of that stuff is changing. You have just got to do it now. You've got to fail 10 times over before you find the thing that works. Maybe 10 times, maybe 100 times. Like, honestly, the amount of times stuff I've done has gone wrong. Everything that you see as success went wrong so many times before it was the thing.

I think people really fear failure. because they care so much what others think. Like, luckily, I stopped giving a fuck about what anybody thought, well, not anybody, what most people thought years ago, or I definitely wouldn't be in the position that I'm in now. But that doesn't mean that I don't fail numerous times. Like, everything I launch goes wrong.

I still put stuff out there that doesn't hit. Nobody's interested. like every single thing I did for the first time was shit and over time it just got a bit less shit but some stuff is still shit like you know failures are just feedback and I always say if I fail at something I've just found a way it didn't work

so then I can continue to find the solution or try something else and that is it's a very glass half full that's the good one, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. A very glass-half-full mindset. But if you're going to be successful in business, you need a glass-half-full mindset

because you will fail so many times over. Do you think that you always had that mindset or do you think you've built it over time? I definitely used to have a victim mindset. Like when I had eating disorders, I just blamed everybody else. Yeah. and if I didn't get what I wanted straight away many years ago,

I blamed everybody else. It was never my fault. I never took accountability. And obviously, when I had eating disorders, there were lots of factors that weren't my fault, right? But it was still a choice. And I've made many shit choices in my life that led to an outcome I didn't want.

So I think when you start taking responsibility, it's much easier to have that glass half full mind And also when you realize that glass half full mindset opens up endless opportunities and experiences, you connect with people so much better when you are like that. And of course, it isn't all sunshine and rainbows and you will still fail with that mindset, but you won't quit and give up. Knowing your business values and focus on them with every decision. what what what what are your business values or just your values in general how can people start to

understand their values a little bit more so they can you know make decisions aligned with with them values so my business values because you can have different business values to personal ones but business is impact education and calm because i think fundamentally for anybody to make nutritious food choices long term, that has to come from a place of calm. Yeah. Education, because I think there's so much bullshit out there and I really love breaking things down in a way that people understand it. An impact because what I'm doing now is what I was put on this earth to do,

to impact as many people as possible. Oh, fun as well. Life's too fucking short to not have fun most of the time. And you absolutely can build a business that you love while having a lot of fun. Like how much fun do we have at events? Like it's... And that's why I kept on trying to say that to... That little reminder to me is like,

what would this feel like if I was having more fun, if I was stressed or I cared so much about something? I'm like, ah, like I get to, you know, meet new people all the time, people that I never would have met otherwise. And like, it's the best thing in the world. It literally is. And yeah, we have so much fun at events. They're chaos, but a lot of fun.

If people aren't sure what their values are, values are like the rulebook you want to live your life and run your business by. So if I'm trying to make a difficult decision, I say, does it align with my business values? And if it doesn't, then I say no. Yeah. Which can be really hard. And I don't get it right all the time. Can you give an example of that? Yeah, a really recent one actually.

So this is a bit of a flex But a very well-known supplement company reached out to me a few weeks back And they asked if they could sponsor me So I would just get a lot of free supplements every month Which I mean in the cost of living crisis would be wonderful And I would obviously have a discount code And post about their supplements that I was using

Now I do use quite a lot of supplements, and there was also like protein bars that I already buy and protein powder. So initially I was like, I want to say yes, but I need to take a step back because it doesn't feel like it aligns. The reasons being it is predominantly a bodybuilding supplement company. The reason it would have been a flex is because a load of bodybuilders would have been like, why the fuck do they want to sponsor her?

All she does is eat cake and talk about balance. So that's why because it had been funny. I bullies all the bodybuilders. Yeah. Yeah. She's not hardcore. So yeah, it would have been funny from that perspective. But like it's my mate's business and he's a really clever guy.

They're obviously trying to tap into the lifestyle market and I get it because more lifestyle people are using supplements. But if we think about the what I eat in a day post, the what I supplement in a day post could be viewed from a similar lens. Like if I'm saying this is my supplement stack, do people then think if they use the same, they look the same? I also don't talk about supplements now, really. So it wouldn't make sense from that aspect. I'd have to create new content, which didn't feel like it would have been fun. So that wasn't in line with fun.

wouldn't be impacting people in the way I like to impact. So despite it being really tempting, and I did have to think about it, my initial reaction was like, wow, like I'm really honoured that they've asked and I want to do it, but also I would have been doing it for the wrong reasons

and it would have gone against my values. Do you think that this is a problem as you get more and more successful, is that there's more and more temptations to pull you away from the fundamental thing that you're trying to do? no because I think you get clearer. Yeah.

And the more decisions you make like that, the easier. Yeah. It is. But I suppose you'll have to say no more times than yes. And when you do start a business at the start, you're saying yes to every opportunity, right? Yeah. Yeah, that is true.

But when you start, you aren't really clear on your values and you've not had that much practice. And you don't really know what your message is. Well, I was definitely figuring a lot of that out along the way. Yeah. Um, so I think, yeah, I think it's easier and harder. Yeah. Um, there's more, there's more opportunities that could pull you in different directions.

But if you know who you are or you, who your business is, that knowing your values makes, makes them, them decisions that are attempting a lot more clearer to be able to say no. Give us much away for free as you can. Explain that one. Oh my God. The amount of coaches that get into the industry thinking they can earn 10K. months within six months. It's like you've got a fucking earn your stripes. Like you don't come into this industry and just make a shit load of money and expect that that is going to happen. Like you have to start off doing stuff for free.

You have to give people loads and loads and loads of value and do it without expecting anything in return. Because think about it, right. If like people will listen to this podcast and hopefully they'll take some stuff away. from it, but they've given us their time. Yeah. What is more precious than that? That's such a privilege.

Like, when I started, I just gave out stuff for free. And I don't just mean social media, because that's not enough to build a coaching business, but free resources, free workshops, videos before I had podcasts. And I would just do it with the idea of impacting as many people as possible, having fun while I did it. and I was like if I've got the time to create free resources or I'm creating something for my clients, why would I not just offer it out to other people for free? Because yeah, like we've said, there's so much information out there.

And if we can add value to that information that is there, why would we not? And then over time, people will trust you more, they'll come to you with questions. And then they might think about paying you for coaching. but that doesn't just happen as soon as you qualify and you put out one Instagram post saying that you're now coaching people. You've got to earn the right for people to want to spend their money on your coaching.

Yeah. You get paid for the value you give out and it takes time for you to craft your message and to be able to get better at doing that as well. 100%. You don't just get qualified and then know how to be a great coach. I'm still learning stuff all the time now. So yeah, like giving away as much for free.

There's so many business mentors that will say, oh, you can give too much away for free, hold back a bit. And apart from coaching someone one to one, surround yourself with those doing better than you, ask them questions and learn. Yeah, 100%. And it doesn't just have to be in the fitness industry. Like other people doing incredible things,

you aren't going to grow from just surrounding yourself with people that are, I was going to say below you, I don't mean below you, but like aren't achieving more. Nobody's below you. I don't mean in that well, but you want to surround yourself with people who might be in your industry but different parts of it or in completely different industries doing amazing things because that's where you learn. Those are the people you need to ask questions and the more people like that that you can surround yourself with, they will pull you up to their level.

Because most people in this industry achieving incredible things want to help other people. They don't want to gatekeep what they know. They don't want to gatekeep how they got to where they are. So the more people like that that you can expose yourself to, then the better. The fitness industry is all about collaboration, not competition. I mean, look at us, mate.

How many more people can we help? and reach by doing podcasts together and events together. There's enough clients out there that need our help. Like genuinely, every person I know in the fitness industry, I'm like, I want you to win. Obviously, apart from dickheads. But I don't know many dickheads in the fitness industry. Like, you know, there's enough people out there that need our help. We're not in competition.

People aren't stealing clients from each other. You know, bringing other coaches into your business. it doesn't mean all your clients are going to leave and work with them. And if you think that's the case, you need to be a better coach. Yeah, it's a scarcity mindset, isn't I? Yeah. Yeah. And you can then impact their audience.

They can impact yours. They can offer an insight that you can't offer because we all have different strengths and different ways of doing things. And actually, when we come together, we can achieve so much more. Like the place we get at probably most new inquiries from is referrals from other coaches. Because we can't help everybody. And I refer out about 50% of the inquiries we get in because we're not the right coaches for everybody. And the bigger your network, the more people you collaborate with,

then the more people ultimately overall you're going to be able to support. Yeah. I was doing a talk for new personal trainers and the fitness industry there. I think it was last year or the year before. And one thing I kept saying to them was, you know, there's more people who need what you do than do what you do. And I think that's right. It's like there's so many people out there.

And if you're, like you just said, if you're worried about people taking clients on you or, you know, anything like that, it's you just need to get better at your job. Because the better you are at your job, the more comfortable you will be. And then the more comfortable you are to do things like refer out because you know that, you know, you have the confidence in your own skills that people will eventually come to you for for help. 100%. Yeah.

And that makes it so much more fun as well and less isolating. Yeah. Yeah. You're not in constant fear then of, oh my God, my business is going to go under, which you might be for the first year at a minute a client leaves you. Don't create content to impress other coaches. Oh, how many coaches do that? come on, they're not paying you. Doesn't matter what they think.

That just is when the industry ends up being an echo chamber of everybody copying each other or playing it safe with content. You've got to stand out. You've got to stand for something. You've got to have strong opinions and be able to articulate them. And if you're trying to impress other coaches

or you're worrying about what other coaches will think or how they will judge, then that's not why you set up a business. You didn't set up a business to impress other coaches. Like, you know, you don't see it in other industries. You don't see hairdressers going against what their clients want and cutting hair to impress the coaches. You do what in front of you wants, what they need, what they've asked for.

So as coaches, that is the sort of stuff we need to be putting out. We need to be thinking about our ideal sort of client, the areas that we specialize in, the ways that we help people and building content around that, instead of giving a fuck what any other coach thinks. Last one. Friends and family might be great to help get your business going, but they aren't enough to scale properly.

Most of them don't really understand what you actually do. Yeah. Yeah. Like initially, and I see a lot of people get really upset about this when friends and family aren't supporting them or aren't back in their business. And I'm like, everybody's got their own shit going on. Like, you're not the centre of their world. Yeah.

and they might be supportive initially, but then, you know, again, they're not paying you. They don't really understand what you do. They're not in the industry. So you can't grow a business based on friends and family support. They've got other things that they need to be worrying about and dealing with.

And you can let that upset you and frustrate you and take it personally and think that your friends don't give a fuck, which is ridiculous. Or you can be like, okay, this is my job. is my business. I have got to get relentless in speaking about what I do and who I help to grow it. And I can't rely on anybody else for that. And I can't take it personally when my friends have more going on in their life than my new business. Yeah, I absolutely love that message because I see somebody complaining about, or there's all these stupid like posts and memes online about, you know,

that stranger will share your business more than your friend is supposed to. My friend's in work, doing his job he's not concerned about my job my video about carbohydrates no my friend is busy like looking after their kids or spending time with their partner they're not fucking sharing my reel on your body business card like i'm sorry it's not relevant to them and it's just it's such a bizarre way of thinking about things uh sophia where can people go if they want to follow up with the work that you do or reach out about coaching um best place is probably Instagram, so Sophia underscore Apollo underscore nutrition.